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In Like Blunt
Reviewed: 02/27/2008
Are they saying that Don Blunt is gay?!
Gee whiz; I wonder why Don Blunt doesn't like Disney? Maybe he doesn't SHUSH VS. FOWL as much as I do. Let's rant on shall we....
The episode is written by Kevin Campbell & Brian Swenlin. The story editor is Tad Stones. Another Walt Disney France episode I should note.
We begin this one at SHUSH headquarters AFTER HAPPY HOUR (read: After Dark) as Gander watches with indifference at the television as we pan over inside the freezer and see two badly drawn agents encased in the giant ass ice pop treat. And to make matters worse; it's banana flavored which is the worst death you can get. Sadly; the DEATH MUSIC OF DOOM must stop playing because we pan over to see DARKWING...DUCK break another glass window for no reason other than to annoy me. Thankfully; no dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM yet from Drake. Gander blows him off for choosing the window; but Drake waltz in and does a self-serving walk across the hallway asking Gander about chilly chums. Oh swell; this is the most intentional use of Cartoon Duck Syndrome and we are hardly 90 seconds in. This is not good for the remaining episode I assure you. Gander is proclaiming that someone is killing his top agents (and he does mean kill.). Agent Perkins died by getting eaten by a toxic snake in one of the photos J. Gander is holding. Thankfully; the Northern Illinois shooting has long past eating in my mind, heart and soul so I can rant on this without any distractions whatsoever.
Agent Campbell of course dies by canning if you catch my drift which grosses Drake out. Maybe hiding in a fish plant is not a good idea. See; the SHUSH agent list has been stolen and the proof is in the murders. Gander hands Drake the FOWL ransom note (oh come on; the chicken foot symbol of FOWL is right on the note so due process is impossible at this point.) and it says that they want all the tea in China. Geez; FOWL is having such low expectations now that Steelbeak has been caught in the last rant. Drake uses the magnifying glass to read the thing and look for any signs of heat leeching. Drake sees the talon and he declares that it is Phineas Sharp behind the theft. Apparently; he and this Derek Blunt fellow do not get along as Drake calls Sharp the Arch Enemy of Derek Blunt. Gander is surprised that Drake knows him so well as Drake points out all of his entertainment and toy tributes. Geez; no wonder the world is in peril when a secret agent is a major movie star.
Gander then reminds Drake that it was Derek who captured Mr. Sharp and Drake recoils on that one. Gander decides to let Derek Blunt and Drake Mallard work together to crack this case and Drake jumps for joy like a Mexican Jumping Bean. Why do I get the feeling that Drake is going to get screwed here? Drake recoils and acts like a furry being as Gander tells him to be careful since the real Derek is not like the movie character. He's less technical you see as Derek Blunt (Here's almost seven feet tall, has a beak like Launchpad and wears almost all white; except for black trim on the neckline and foot line) storms in protesting this outrage of working with a partner. Drake tries to shake hands with him but he ignores him. Drake's reaction to that was priceless. Derek Blunt is like Drake in so many ways except for the size and jerk off attitude which is bigger.
Gander tries to defend him; but he calls Drake a buffoon and stammers like an idiot. Gander introduces Blunt to Darkwing Duck as Drake does his full of himself entrance which Derek ignores with the annoying Gruffi pose. Why am I getting bad vibes here that this Derek Blunt is some sort of rib on former Disney animator Don Blunt? Gander explains that the reason Drake is coming is because Phineas knows Derek too well and since Drake isn't on the SHUSH agent list; he's the wild card, X-Factor and REALLY STUPID sidekick. Okay; I make up the last part. Drake responds to that like a Cartoon Duck idiot. Is this supposed to be a contest on who's the bigger jerk in this episode?! Derek blows him off as the joker of the deck. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Drake goes over to Gander and whisper yells that everything will be all right. Yeah right Drake?! Drake tells Derek not to worry and then goes back towards the shattered window (Nice CONTINUITY there from WD-France) and cuts his dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM; full of himself promo. And then throws the smoke bomb to create smoke (AND THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH AND MOVIE RATING!) and does the dreaded VOICEOVER OF DOOM at 3:42....
Darkwing: I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am....AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Best...promo...ever. See; Drake was on the edge of the window and he tried to move backwards like the REALLY STUPID mallard that he is and free falls out of the window. Wow; one of the few times Cartoon Duck Syndrome worked. Sadly; that's the exception, not the rule. Sadly; the bump was ultra wussy complete with wussy spring sound. Derek is not amused on that spot and I don't blame him as Gander shrugs like an idiot. That leads to the green car driving sequence where Drake complains about his car not being ultra cool and Derek blows him off because cheap cinema stuff is not good for a real agent. Derek needs to lighten up a little bit and WD- France needs to do a better job at animating the backgrounds as they look terrible in that sequence. We finally make it to Drake's hideout as we cut to the trapdoor rising up to the top floor of Drake's hideout as Drake tells Derek that he is going to love this. No he is not Drake; he hates you. I'm just saying.
They get out as Derek blows off Drake's invention because he works out of a cardboard box if need be. Geez; if Agent Campbell did that; he might have actually lived. Drake blows the suggestion off and shows him his decoder machine which is so last decade that even a decoder ring could beat it. Then he shows his Peeping Tom Camera (Drake even calls it a Peeping Tom so you know Drake is reaching the levels of disturbing here) which grosses me out of course when it zooms in on his butt. Drake then gets REALLY STUPID and hangs onto Derek like a man child wanting approval. Oh wait; that was more real than I had intended. Derek pushes him away and calls Drake an idiot. YES! Finally; someone tells Drake off on television as Drake is SHOCKED because he used it in GoldFeather. Memo to Drake: Derek's movies are a lie. Get over it and be Derek's sidekick for the rest of the episode. Let HIM make the mistake of being over confident.
That's how TaleSpin did it with Whistlestop Jackson, Legend. Thankfully; Derek really blows him off for me and then gets over it quickly. Derek takes the note out of his pocket and Drake steals it because his ego cannot let Derek get over by himself. Thankfully; Derek is RIGHT THERE to tell him about a sandy substance which Drake giggles like an idiot because he doesn't leave anything to guess work and goes to the chemical lab to prove just how to waste everyone's time and puts more babyface heat on Derek. And of course; it only wastes time because it is sand which Derek takes from the tongs Drake was using and eats it. EWWWWW! Derek concludes that the sand comes from only one source and then asks Drake for a map...And boy does Drake give him one as it is electronic based, about one mile square and you needs the lever (WRONG LEVER!) elevator to find it. They make it to the section of the map which is the Salad Islands where Phineas Sharp is supposed to be. Drake complains that there are 1000 Islands and it would take years to find him.
However; Derek draws an orange circle around one of the island proclaiming that this is where Mr. Sharp is. Drake is overwhelmed by the force of the facts of life that he acts like a man child saying one of the funniest lines in all of DARKWING...DUCK: You drew on my map. That line just cracks me up. Derek completes his analysis and then uses the lever (WRONG LEVER!) to go down while Drake REPEATS THE LINE! In this case; it was even funnier the second time. Derek needs transportation so that logically leads to Launchpad's contractual appearance as he is washing the Thunder Quack on the launchpad. Get it?! HAHA! Well; at least he isn't being lazy today. Launchpad opens the hatch and asks where they need to go which allows Derek to blow off Drake for his use of a sidekick. Drake introduces Derek to Launchpad and Derek completely ignores him as he gets into the Thunder Quack. Drake now wants to use violence on Derek's beak as he is back to full of himself ego deflating mode again. Go figure; I knew the man child thing wouldn't last. Scene changer and we cut into an office with a desk filled with Derek Blunt dolls being absolutely MURDERED in about seventeen different ways.
Geez; I wonder why this character hates Derek so much?! We then pan over to see Phineas Sharp (A vulture wearing Duckworth's clothing from Ducktales) cutting the heads off Derek Blunt dolls with the MINI-GILLOUTINE OF DEATH. Do you get the feeling that Derek Blunt has screwed this guy's brain so much?! He's so INSANE! Sharp Henchman #1 (another bird wearing full clothes) comes in to inform Phineas that SHUSH has assigned Derek Blunt as he wanted and Phineas uses the knife cleaver to cut up another Phineas doll. Wow; this guy makes NegaDuck look like a wussy in comparison. Henchmen #1 reminds him of his defeat; but Phineas blows it off because Derek didn't know that he was allergic to tree sap. Phineas then pushes the button on his desk and that opens the trapdoor beneath the goon men's feet and he falls down to his death judging by Phineas' insanity. Phineas proclaims that he is going to make sure Derek dies...ERRR...retires for good and that his revenge will be complete which laughing like a maniac and squeezing a Don Blunt doll so hard that his head pops off.
This sequence was rather disturbing for a DTVA cartoon at the time. We head outside in the morning as the Thunder Quack races to it's destination. Launchpad looks down and notices the island (which happens to be a large red/white castle) and tells Derek about it. Derek then talks about Phineas being a slave to a rich lifestyle much like Drake Mallard. Drake then blows him off with the Baloo repeat spot and it's still funnier when Baloo does it than Drake does. Drake tells Launchpad to bring it in for a landing and of course that allows Launchpad to fly right into the jungle. Hey; it's not Launchpad without a silly crash spot to amuse me and since he RARELY DOES IT in DARKWING..DUCK; I'm all for it myself. Nice animation from WD-France by the way which is an improvement over their work on Plunder and Lightning. We go to the front shot as the hatch opens and Drake is like Ron Tussin on steroids, Launchpad is on drugs and Derek is himself plus his wardrobe is winkled. That was pretty funny (except for Derek's wardrobe which is unfunny.) and Derek blows him off as being crazy.
Sadly; it's clear Don Karnage is not here because if he was then Derek would be MURDERED by now. Derek gets out and tells them to wait here because he's the expert on Phineas and he'll have the list within the hour. Drake jumps out and blows him off because he still thinks the movies of him were cooler and better than Derek EVER was as he reveals the JETPACK OF STUPIDITY. Oh; for goodness sakes Drake! Didn't you learn ANYTHING from Baloo's misadventures with said pack in Bullethead Baloo?! He tells him to watch his dust as he pushes the red button and basically digs a hole and buries Launchpad and Derek when the dust settles. Now that was too funny and so ironic on so many levels; for the many episodes Drake has buried villains and some of his friends to boot.
We head into the jungle for the boring jungle sequence as the birds are chirping, Phineas and Launchpad are pushing branches and Drake is blowing off Derek while getting a face full of forest every time he blows off Derek. That was just there to suck of course since the joke of Drake getting a face full of something is getting quite old at this point. You got to be a lot more creative then that guys. Nice decent bump over the rocks after getting hit by the palm tree though along with the star animation. Drake then brings out the sword which looks like a bad microphone. Thank goodness it doesn't look like a dildo or I would have WCW nightmares all over again. Derek doesn't like that as Drake opens up the thing and it slices and dices through the forest. Sadly; Drake is REALLY STUPID since it's also a SLASHER OBJECT OUT OF CONTROL!! Nice animation once again from WD-France as Derek and LP's clothes are shaven. Derek then has enough and decides to choke Drake out while warning him never to uses his gimmicks ever again without his permission.
Which is never actually. Atta boy Derek!! Derek drops him like a bad habit and storms off while Drake blows him off as a snit. Launchpad actually comes to Derek's defense on this one because Drake tried to kill him and cause a racket. Drake doesn't care since no one died. I'm sure he was disappointed that he missed Derek completely too. So we head to the lake as LP, Drake and Derek pop out of the bushes in front of it. Drake then tries to REALLY PISS OFF Derek with the electronic binoculars like the REALLY STUPID Mallard that he is. Derek of course nearly MURDERS him for real for that spot and I'm starting to get annoyed by Derek now. Just threaten to kill him Derek; that will make him stop being REALLY STUPID. Sadly; the heel voices can be heard so the babyfaces are forced to pop back into the bushes with Drake being grabbed of course. You know; if Derek really wants Drake to stop maybe he should have thrown Drake to the bulldog mobsters wondering around the area. Plus; it would have given me some entertainment. And we get murder #3 for the series from one of the bulldogs which makes four for DTVA so far. The three giant ass goons proclaim that they are toast if they lose another one. So; one of them puts out their hand into the bushes as the babyfaces are doomed, doomed, doomed I say to end the segment almost ten and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; the HOUNDS FROM HELL continues putting his hand where it doesn't belong and finds what he is looking for. Drake blows off Derek asking for a suggestion. The suggestion is to do nothing actually as you will see. Apparently; the animators make us think they got Launchpad since he is not shown; but in reality he got the volleyball as the HOUNDS FROM HELL shout in glee and run off to continue their volleyball game. Apparently; one of them is an embezzler and cannot keep score. Bad CONTINUITY; but at least there is no logic break there anyway. Drake is SHOCKED to see this and Derek agrees that they should check this out.
The tempo music continues playing in the background as we head to the castle and both Drake and Derek hid behind the bushes (along with Launchpad I assume) as they see that they are really at the PARADISE PRISON OF DOOM. Magica Despell and Flintheart Glomgold make appearances (Flintheart is playing horseshoes) along with at least one Beagle Boy. I believe Flintheart and The Beagle Boys were in prison once; but Magica?! And shouldn't magic allow her to escape without trouble anyway? I wish the writers would read character sketches BEFORE they insert cameos that don't make sense. Then again; Pete's Dragon in Bullethead NEVER made sense so there you go. Derek tells Drake to look and there is Stealbeak and Ammonia Pine playing cards with a couple more Beagle Boys. Ammonia Pine uses the vacuum cleaner to clean up on her latest win over Stealbeak of course. Now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shaun Desmond.
Launchpad even makes a comment about it as Drake wonders why two FOWL agents are here. Derek states the obvious that the prison resort is a cover for the auctioning of the sale of the SHUSH list while making sure to insult Drake. Drake thankfully is smart enough to no sell the shot this time as Derek proclaims that they need disguises. So much for being against gimmicks since disguises tops the list of gimmicks used by secret agents. I believe Derek over confidence is finally starting to show here. Scene changer and we head towards the change house as Derek comes out dressed like a soda jerk. Nice to see Baloo's soda jerk outfit from Plunder and Lightning was recovered from the ocean in time for this production. Drake gets Kit's outfit just to tick Kit off and Derek swings the saloon doors to allow Drake's beam to be jammed in it.
Derek proclaims that they must blend in with the surroundings which Drake blows off because he's got that down pat. Sadly; Derek blows him off because Launchpad comes out as the FRUIT SALAD DANCER OF DOOM. Yeah; because you cannot have a DTVA cartoon without some male cross dressing. Drake is pretty upset about that one; but Derek actually likes it. Sadly; here comes Phineas as he teases us by thinking that he blew the AGENT OF GAG'S cover; but he really doesn't and orders the bellhops to carry the baggage. Drake and Derek sell like maniacs and carry the baggage which is bigger than their body weight. Atta boy there Drake; I just wish Rebecca had the same forethought to do the same thing to Baloo. Phineas wants them to be quick about it and they sell and run off with the luggage. Scene changer and we see Phineas and Ferb (a play on one of Disney's most recent cartoons which feels better than it really is judging by the few scenes that I have seen.) walking towards the fruit table as Launchpad hides underneath the table.
Why bother with the scene changer if that scene was the same scene anyway? I could never understand the point here unless it was to fit Horatio in there and avoid a logic break. Never mind; let's move on as Phineas harps about the auction taking place this evening and eats some of LP's fruit which has gone bad of course. I guess the fruit hat was fake after all. Phineas sounds like a badly voiced Tony Jay I should point out. Tony is more suited for calm characters like Shere Khan and not this insane guy. Phineas and Horatio walk off stage left as Launchpad pops up and gets his standard I should warn the guys. We head inside the resort hallways as Derek counts the money from the tips be got apparently which for some reason seems out of place. Drake is behind him and getting madder by the second as he throws away his bellhop hat and cuts the VOICEOVER OF DOOM promo. Please kill him Derek if you have any creditability left in your soul.
Sadly; he cannot even do that as Drake is back in his gay attire as Phineas and Horatio are inside right in front of the babyfaces. Drake and Derek run away (with the money flying I should point out) and hide inside the laundry cart. Oh come on guys! Phineas clearly saw them running away and they didn't notice ANYTHING SUSPIOUS?! That pretty much kills Phineas' heat right there. Drake shakes hands with Derek in a cute spot and then they hide some more allowing Drake to gasp for air in a really funny spot. Phineas does notice the dirty cart and tells Horatio to dump it. Horatio sells and dumps the babyfaces hidden in the clothes down the old chute. They fall into the washing machine with a really good bump there for old times sake. Drake and Derek pop out of the clothing carnage (with Derek wearing Drake's hat in a fashion faux pas moment) and Derek is ready to MURDER Drake on the spot there. However; Drake uses the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH and it points right to the iron safe. Drake goes over and proclaims in a sarcastic matter that he would have his pick locking equipment; but Derek threw it into the lake. Derek blows it off because he knows what to use here; so he plucks a white feather from Drake's head and uses the tip of it to unpick the lock. He warns Drake to duck and of course Drake is REALLY STUPID not to get something as simple as THAT (The effects of full blown Cartoon Duck Syndrome I might add) and the lock explodes allowing Drake to be covered in soot. Drake has no one but himself and the CDS writers to blame for that one. So what does he do?
He blames Derek for not being more specific. Drake is full of himself; why should I be surprised?! We head inside the room and of course the background is badly animated by WD-France. These are the same people who did a wonderful job (when the Amiga computers were not being used) of background work I should point out. Drake (who got the soot out so to speak) goes over to the coffee table and grabs the list. He attempts to read it and it only says gotcha. Derek then panics and tells Drake it's time to go because it is a trap. Drake shrugs him off because he doesn't know what he is talking about. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because Phineas appears blowing off Derek for being fifteen seconds too slow to react and that retirement has made him slow. Since they only had five seconds to get out; color me unimpressed. Phineas grabs the paper and sezs gotcha to Derek which really pisses him off. Drake offers to help him; but Phineas snaps his fingers and here comes the BULLDOG MOBSTER CIRCLE OF DEATH OUT OF NOWHERE AND THEY ARE PACKING HEAT LIKE NOTHING ELSE! Derek and Drake's eye pop on that spot. The iron door breaks down and here comes FRUIT SALAD LAUNCHPAD running into the group to tell them that it is a trap. Now that is just too funny. Launchpad gets a rifle to the temple which would be cut from Toon Disney of course. Launchpad finally realizes that he just screwed them over big time with a possible escape plan and rises his arms into air along with the babyfaces to end the segment fifteen minutes in. Well; that was rather quick and pointless...
After the commercial break; we head to the exercise room as Drake and Derek are hung by the rings and dragged down by weights. LP gets the steam room (with head popping on top) for his death wish as Drake tells Derek that he has seen worse; except that he is usually asleep when they happen. And here comes Phineas to tell them about the exercise clinic and explain the root of their demise. When Launchpad loses weight (how it that possible without killing him since he's weightless..Oh wait; never mind what I said) he rises on a scale. LP gets a train reference on the whistle blowing steam. Phineas then explains that when the Balance Arm lowers; the hook will release this chest pull; fly into the dumb bell, release the Olympic roller skate and roll down the burning candle near the well placed weights which is under the rope. The candlelight burns the rope and release the weights tied to the ankles of Derek and Drake basically ripping them to shreds.
Okay; that is a pretty ugly way to die; but it's too complex and prone to be screwed in the end. Phineas should learn the act of being simple; but effective. See Wii. See Nintendo DS. See iPod. See Sustainer go mad. And so on and so on. Phineas walks out and the animation is blurry as hell. Must be a master tape error that made it to the DVD. I really don't like that as Phineas yawns and chuckles because he's going to give the list away tonight and they will be dead by half tearing. Phineas leaves as he will be a billionaire and SHUSH will be dead. Considering how bad SHUSH is; I wish you could Phineas. We cut back to Derek harping about how his demise and apologizes for throwing Drake's gimmicks away while Drake struggles. Oh; how contrived can you get Derek?! Derek never got a real chance to screw up because the writers spent so much time showing Drake being REALLY STUPID. The whole thing is still Drake and LP's fault and yet Derek is blaming himself for THIS?! Goodbye heat; after that moment. This is not going to be as good as Whistlestop Jackson, Legend. Drake then realizes that his cufflinks has the acid pellet and he can use it to cut his ropes free.
Sadly; he's butterfingers with it and the acid pellet drops to the table leg which is actually a better result since it prevents the candle from the burning the rope which Launchpad helpfully points out. So much for hope from these three goofs as the whole rug on the floor is set on fire and the rope that causes the ripping half action snaps which Launchpad helpfully points out. The babyfaces get flexed as Derek asks if he's got another gimmick; but Drake proclaims that a real agent uses what he has. Wow; he learned something!! There's hope for this mallard. Drake manages to float his gay Zorro cape into the flames and the smoke makes the cape rise and burn going right into the sprinkler system. D'OH! Phineas' plan was perfect except for that one little detail. The water sprays on everything and that's enough for the ropes to snap off of Derek and Drake (along with the weights). Sadly; Drake weighs less and then springs up and takes a MAN-SIZED BUMP WITH CHEESE AND BACON right into the ceiling. Some things never change as Derek calls it a smashing success as Drake drops down and takes another MAN-SIZED bump into the floor.
Derek apologizes for being a poopy head even though he really did nothing wrong to earn it since Drake was REALLY STUPID. Drake doesn't care as he grabs onto Derek's suit (Oh please; not this again!) and cuts his dangerous promo about eighteen minutes in. Launchpad tells them to do it to them as Derek and Drake storm off leaving LP behind. Oh please; don't let them do the WildCat finish from Balooest of Bluebloods?! We head inside the auction as Phineas is on stage at the auction stand while the buyers are in front of him on the floor (or behind him facing him if you want to get really cute.). There is yelling and chattering because they are heels and don't know any better. Phineas tells them to be quiet so that he could sell some priceless stuff from his career which earns him some raspberries. So the faces cannot do raspberries according to Disney Captions; but the heels can?! I hate the PTC now! Phineas proclaims that the list will not be sold until the stuff is sold first and everyone quiet's down even though it sounds like they are taking FOREVER to do so. First on the list is the kosher deli caper: Hershel's cat. It's a statue of a white version of Fat Cat wearing a bra. Ooooo...That is SO sexy...NOT!!
We head into the hallway as Derek (dressed as a worker with a comic book it looks like) dragging a suit of Knight Armor which I'm sure contains DARKWING..DUCK in there. And he pops out of the helm for a peek before popping back so I'm right as usual. Derek drags it into the backstage room as Horatio is there. Derek asks him where to put the suit and he tells him to put it backstage I guess. Derek sells without further incident as we cut to the stage which contains the pillar, a red pillow and the real SHUSH list. Got that?! Good for you. Phineas continues his stalling on the cat and asks for $1000 as the opening price. The heels shout Sell The List to show their displeasure. And we get the return of Hammerhead from the pilot episode and his voice has changed quite a bit from last time. Sadly; he's chanting with them so I cannot make it out anyway. That suit on the top right looks like something Shere Khan would wear. That duck with the wrench looks oddly like Dottie from Dances With Bigfoot. Did she turn to a life of crime after her balloon flying school went belly up due to Gosalyn's stupidity. I SMELL A FANFIC COMING!! Drake pops from the helmet where the suit was placed (and smacked by Derek I should note which was a good bump.) and grabs the list. They are too angry at Phineas to even notice as Drake pops back in and drops down to the legs of the suit of armor. Drake pops out of the back door on the bottom stand and does the WORM OF DOOM to exit the room. That was just too easy to do and Drake basically buries Flintheart and Magica all in one shot. Even Ducktales' villains aren't immune to Drake's awesome burying tactics. Phineas counts the money as the heels apparently decided to chin up and pay Phineas the money for his useless trinkets. However; he turns around and is SHOCKED to find out that the list is gone. So he gives Horatio the mallet and leaves to allow Horatio to take over.
We cut to inside the dark room as Drake has got the list and it's time to split. Sadly; Phineas enters with the laser gun and it destroys the desk. Why a FREAKING LASERGUN?! This show has used bullet shooting guns since the beginning (including makeshift guns in this episode) and the focus heel uses a RAY GUN?! What is this; dubbed OUTLAW STAR?! Or worse; TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (both versions)?! And while I'm thinking about it; I just realized something: If the agents of SHUSH were smart; they would burn the list right now; ironically done by same ray gun. Why? So; the heels cannot MURDER anymore agents. That's why. The babyfaces raise their arms as Drake proclaims that he will not get away with this as Phineas slowly walks towards them like an idiot. It's one thing to have actual murder in this show; but character homicide of Phineas' character is really pushing the envelope too far here. Phineas walks on the blue rug as he grabs the SHUSH list and then Drake rolls the rug around to smoother him.
That backfires as Phineas somehow manage to shoot the laser gun and Derek grabs Drake. They hide in the closet and this is getting just a wee bit silly here. Phineas throws the rug away and sets his laser gun calling out Phineas' end to be quivering inside a closet with a costumed buffoon. It doesn't matter anymore if this will get Drake mad because Phineas' heat is absolute zero now thanks to the stupidity of BS&P. I betcha this was an ABC broadcast because that is the only way I can explain the BS&P here. Phineas invokes the laser gun and shoots about 100 holes into the closet and tells Blunt to make a movie out of that. Oh; that wasn't a crack at Don Blunt at all; no siree! Phineas kisses the list and walks out. We open the closet and of course the babyfaces are all right since Drake and Derek pop up from the floor. Derek used Drake's other acid cuff link to eat through the floor as Derek admits that a gimmick or two isn't so bad. YAY! They learned from each other and I don't really care because Drake is still REALLY STUPID and Derek has lost his heat. We head back to Phineas and Horatio giving the money to Hammerhead who apparently won the SHUSH list. So does that mean Mr. Bullba is still alive?! TUNE INTO DARKWING.. DUCK to find out!
Horatio steps back right into the right position to be nagged behind the curtain by the LONG ARM OF THE LAW. Yeah; that wasn't contrived in the very least no siree! Phineas gives praise to Hammerhead for winning the SHUSH list; but Drake and Derek clear their throats in the doorway allowing Phineas to turn around and be SHOCKED at all this. Derek of course has the SHUSH list complete with then green sparkles and alarm sound. I thought WD-France was ABOVE such cheap animation?! Phineas then realizes that he is screwed big time and Hammerhead grabs him by the throat and squeezes him hard for giving him a grocery list. Oh; and smooth move for killing Hammerhead's heat by making sound like a dumb strong man guys. You should all be proud of yourselves. Derek sezs gotcha and that logically leads to...
Post-Production Glitch #1: Half second black slug. So does that mean Phineas was MURDERED for real by Hammerhead and ABC wouldn't allow it?! Something to ponder about....
We go to outside the resort near the pool as Derek and Drake exchange notes while laughing off Phineas' face while Hammerhead was choking. But did he murder him you bastards?! How am I supposed to justify watching this episode now?! Derek proclaims that he had a lot of fun on this mission. That only makes one of us since I didn't have much fun here. Derek hopes he wasn't too hard on him and Drake forgives him as it was no sweat. Then Drake gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that LP is STILL in the STEAMBATH FROM HELL. They return to the gym and open up the STEAMBATH FROM HELL and LP is now officially six inches tall. HAHA! At least we are going to get a proper ending here as Launchpad proclaims that he's all right once he has a little vacation. Yeah; he resorted to that humor and it's just not funny. Launchpad cuts a reduced rates promo as we get the circle fade out to end the episode at 21:09. It started off really good and then it really got bad fast after the third act when the BS&P decided to barge in and turn Phineas and Derek into wussy little girls. ** ½ ( 50%). Oh; and Sun Woo did some the animation just to annoy me further. Thankfully; the animation wasn't a problem in this one.
THE REVIEW LINE
You want to see Cartoon Duck Syndrome in action then watch this episode. This started off as a pretty good episode as you had goofy Drake being foiled by serious and stiff as a spear Derek Blunt. The writers started off with considerable respect for the babyfaces in this one. Phineas started off as an insane heel wanting to kill Derek for beating him so bad previously. I loved it when Derek was screwing with Drake for being even more stupid than usual because he still didn't get the fact that Derek in canon was different from Derek the movie star. That made for some excellent scenes. There were no logic breaks; excellent animation (thank you WD-France and even Sun Woo to a certain extent); Launchpad was pretty good in his role and we got the third murder spoken in this series. And then it went downhill once Phineas catches the babyfaces; and suddenly Derek turns into a wuss with no buildup and he didn't get a chance to screw up since it was Drake's fault for changing outfits. Whistlestop Jackson was a lot better because Baloo screwed up everything and Whistlestop at least was given a chance to screw up himself; and thus got some sympathy heat back on Baloo. Plus; Whistlestop wasn't a jerk like Derek was. Although Baloo isn't half the jerk Drake is so both roles would have worked out well anyway.
Then Phineas turns really stupid and sane (thankfully Tony Jay was not listed in the voice credits since if he was then he was casted wrong in my opinion) by setting up a silly death device that was going to be foiled no matter how stupid it was. Despite the cameos; Hammerhead is the only one who talks and he was casted so wrong that he sounded like a dumb henchman. Is it really hard to use the proper voice talent for him?! Then Phineas pulls out a ray gun on our heroes after seeing bullet shooting guns earlier in the episode. What the heck was that?! Phineas turns from an insane character to a really stupid and wussy fourth rate villain within ten minutes. And let's end it with the heroes not burning the SHUSH agent list which would make sense even if they did it BEFORE the Launchpad getting small ending which I did like. I didn't like LP's jokes; but whatever. This should have been a **** ½ episode easily and the writers blew it by bad execution once the final act began. Oh and to Drake Mallard: Nice going in burying Flintheart and Magica Despell by escaping unharmed with the list. I hope you are proud in burying two good Ducktales' heels. Next up is Stressed To Kill and I hope it is better than this one. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.