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The Oracle/When You Wish Upon A Stone
Reviewed: 07/13/2007
Tummi becomes the ULTIMATE FAT JOKE on Lorenzo Music.
Back to playing with Gummi Bear shorts and these two are the ultimate form of contradiction of terms so to speak. They play on two extremes: One is forced to lose weight because he's TOO FAT while one wants to gain weight because he's TOO THIN. Under those conditions; that leaves Tummi and Cavin as the ones by default. So let's rant on....
The Oracle is written by the late Bruce Talkington. When You Wish Upon A Stone is written by Michael Maurer. You know who's story editing.
The Oracle: Wait a minute?! I thought the original title name for this episode was “Tummi's Last Stand”?! Then again; I've stated before that Vowel Play use to be Vowel Lanauage so it must be Disney's softening up words to please viewers I guess. Never mind; let's begin in Gummi Glenn AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) since we see Tummi (in his kick butt white nightgown) practicing the fine art of not being seen, not being heard and tip-toeing without the twinkle toe sound effect. He goes to the fruit bowl and steals some grapes and eats a banana. How in the world can Tummi get SO FAT with fruit?! My dietition is not going to like this slanting of food choices if she ever sees this episode. To me; Tummi's problems is not late night snacking on fruit. Tummi's in the kitchen now eating and attempts to put the banana peel on the floor; but thinks better of it getting off death reference #1 (Grammi would kill me). Nice to see that anime purists no matter how weak and slimy they are can find solace in finding a show to mock about double standards in animation and such. So Tummi puts it in his pocket. Memo to Tummi: If you want to hide the evidence: PUT IT IN THE TRASHCAN!!
Tummi goes to the cupboard and opens it which triggers the POT ALARM OF PAIN as the pots come crashing down on poor Tummi's wishes to eat ever again. That of course wakes up everyone in their nightgowns and candles in their hands as they exit into the hallway. This is one of the few times you'll ever see Sunni barefoot I should note as they run into the kitchen before Tummi runs away. They run into the family room (complete with lit fireplace) and see Tummi sleeping in the rocking chair. One of the few times you'll see Tummi barefoot too I should also note. Nobody's buying that Tummi is merely asleep and that he's on an eating binge. Quite personally; I don't think this bear gets enough fruit in his diet and therefore he's stealing from the fruit bowl to keep his fruit average up. Tummi wakes up and he's clearly BUSTED! The yellow banana in his pocket gives him away. What is today's moral kids: Put litter in it's proper place! Otherwise; people will think you are either a litterbug or worse..a FATASS!
Tummi almost takes God's name in vain (oh my gosh) but since this is 1985, that is all right. Gruffi doesn't buy Tummi's stories of dozing. (DUH!) See; they are upset because Tummi is way TOO FAT! Tummi denies it but since he's a babyface; it's a bold face lie. When a heel does it; it's called getting heat on yourself. That's the difference. Memo to Zummi: Fruit is good for you. Just because he sneaks into the kitchen to get a midnight snack; doesn't mean he's eating junk food. Fruit is not junk food; get over it. Besides; maybe you shouldn't be feeding him cakes and bread for supper in the first place. Grammi even calls Tummi fat which would be a big no-no in our politically correct world. Tummi defends PC'ness by stating that he has big bones. That doesn't work since big bones indicate big fat as well...and Tummi's buttons come undone of course which is enough for Grammi to say that he needs to go on a diet. Memo to Grammi: Diets don't work.
Tummi needs exercise and you need to stop feeding him bad stuff at dinner. Tummi blows him off and tries to get out of his chair; but his FATASS (so sezs Jay Leno when he does fat jokes since 9/11 muzzled most of his more offensive jokes) carries the chair with him. WOW! Tummi's BMI is worse than my BMI. Even I cannot do that spot. Gruffi blows Tummi off with that annoying pose that Rebecca would later steal. It's safe to say that this is the losing weight plot device now which Monty and Baloo would later perform in Rescue Rangers and TaleSpin. In fact; Disney deemed Battle of the Bulge broadcast poison at one time for Toon Disney for no reason other than the title name had the word Battle in it. Which officially makes Beasties look less PC. At least Disney had a good excuse for Flying Dupes (I mean; assassination of the president of Thembria is similar to terrorism and we don't want the kids to grow up like that right?! Just saying...)...
We head to Drekmore as Dukie finally gets over his defeat by Levi as we head to the dining room as Toadie enters the room with the doughnuts on a silver platter. Wow; those Gummi Bears are so mean and nasty. They won't let Tummi eat two pieces fruit at night and yet the ogres who are licking their chops and running to run over Toadie get to eat fatty food in abundance. Thankfully; Dukie enters behind Toadie which forces the ogres to run backwards and sit in their chairs at the wooden table. Dukie gets the end of the table to sit at because his word in Drekmore is LAW. Refuse and it's the rack. This is an early episode so Dukie still rocks. Toadie puts the wooden tray on the table as Igthorn tires to deliver his speech but the ogre steal the doughnuts from the tray. Dukie is ticked off and the urge to rack ogres (and not the way Jim Rome does it it should be noted) is rising because those fatty foods are after the meeting. The ogres are forced to put them back on the tray after a Grade-A acting job from them. Dukie continues as he goes into his tights but his lucky rat's foot is missing. Now there's a myth that needs to be busted by Mythbusters.
So Dukie orders the ogres to stand on their heads and they sell like the fools that they are. Oh wait; Dukie's found it in his pocket and does creepy things to it as if it were human. Too funny and me thinks the ogres are too dumb on that spot. So; it's back to the meeting as Dukie sits down and lays down his LAW so to speak. He only has one question for the ogres as Toadie speed writes the whole thing on his paper with the pink feather. Careful there Toadie; that color is getting dangerously close to bringing Michael Eisner out of the Phantom Zone. And of course; he's still ticked off because he's doesn't have Castle Dumbwin..ERRR. Castle Dunwyn. He smacks the table hard which allows Toadie to get ink all over him in a neat spot. Hey; TMS is game unlike Sun Woo who would blow the spot and would miss Toadie by a foot.
The ogres grumble as Dukie goes into his speech which is so brilliant that it makes me so sad when Dukie would bumble into hell after Secret of the Juice. And he wants an answer as the ogres help themselves to the fatty food from the yellow ogre with his mouth full. You are so dead now buster! Yellow ogre defends by telling Dukie to ask for the oracle which is the real plot device for this episode. Dukie thinks this is nonsense because it is superstitious. Just like the Gummi Bears are fairy tales right Dukie?! Toadie explains that ogres have been using the oracle for hundreds of years. I guess they stopped using it because it was a fraud otherwise; they wouldn't have to turn to their new god Dukie for help. Even Dukie thinks the ogres are too dumb to ask and Toadie gleefully states that they didn't have a good question to ask. A sure sign of a dumb ogre right there. However; Dukie decides that he is game and leaves the room declaring that they will leave for the oracle at dawn. Toadie leaves the room writing it down to continue to be the only funny guy ever to REPEAT SPOTS; so again I'll let him slide. If he starts becoming unfunny; then the WRAITH OF GREGORY will be unleashed. The ogres are clearly too bored so they eat the remaining fatty food despite TMS's animation which shows that they missed the food by a mile. Please; I beg of you, NO Sun Woo-itis TMS!
We go to the outside shot of Gummi Glenn as we head into the family room as Tummi goes to the suit of armor and Tummi dislodges the helmet as he finds the note and Tummi is screwed as Cubbi and Sunni ate his cookies. Yeah; that's a good message to send to your kids. Shouldn't weight loss apply to all?! That is so hypocritical of them. Zummi admits that they cleaned out his hiding spots as I'm pulling out my hair over these people being so mean. Zummi tries the old sympathy tactic which makes him sound more contrived than he should be. Zummi exchanges notes as he talks about the Great Gummi's love for food and historical relics left by them. And the importance of controlling the food intake if you know what I mean. Tummi gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and races off to do some _research_. Zummi is completely dumbfounded. I'm not since research=FOOD! We head to the HEAD OF THE ORACLE right away (It's an 11 minute short; what did you expect?) as it looks ugly which is probably what the animators intended from the start. We go inside with the hallway shot which leads to Tummi (in full clothes I should note) digging into the cupboards like Old Mother Hubbard looking for a dog's bone. He doesn't find anything related to food or a dog's bone sadly. He does find the dust bunnies inside a cookie jar.
He head outside of the oracle's head as Dukie, Toadie and three ogres arrive right on time as Dukie said. I wonder what fiendish torture Dukie had in mind when they would be late to the meeting.. hmm?! I see having four ogres is better than the usual two Air Pirates Don Karnage lugged around (which created one huge logic break in Polly Wants A Treasure. Dukie demands a plan and Toadie suggests giving the oracle gifts. Considering that they left their god in vain; that wouldn't be such a bad idea. Dukie decides to play along as two more ogres arrive (making it six now!) grabbing various loads of food and none of it is bad for you I should note. I guess ogres hate good food. Tummi can of course sniff it from a mile away as evidence in the next shot of him. The food is set at the mouth of the oracle's head and Dukie demands for Toadie to get on with it. Toadie calls out for the GREAT ORACLE OF DOOM (which looks like the head of a bull which indicates that it is satanic.) like a false god (well; it is a false god so it's apporos.) as Tummi is at the eyes area of the oracle and he pushes down the spring panel with his foot (which isn't a feat of strength when you consider that Tummi is TOO FAT!) and the right eye of the oracle opens which scares the ogres silly. Doesn't take much to scare them or amuse them I guess. They get behind Dukie as Dukie is unamused at this silliness. Toadie continues to plead for mercy and wisdom as Tummi goes to the open eye and sees Dukie.
Tummi blows his cover with his voice addressing Duke Igthorn and that's enough to cause the ogre to do the We're Not Worthy spot that pop culture would drive to the ground years after this series aired. Dukie is slightly amused now as Tummi tries to step back; but the power of suggestion drives him to lose his balance and he pulls the rope which causes an earthquake. Wow; that oracle is powerful (albeit fake) if it can cause a 5.6 on the Richter Scale. Now Dukie finally gets it as he hails to the SATANIC ORACLE BULL OF DOOM by showing him the FRUITS OF THEIR LABOR so he can get answers. Tummi then gets a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN to get out of his diet: Play as the oracle to screw Dukie. Okay; I'm game for that as he spins the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and the wind blows on the heels because this episode does need more windbags since Drake Mallard isn't around. Tummi does his thundering VOICEOVER OF DOOM which is funnier than Drake's ever was to tell them to address him as Sir. See; Peppermint Patty is in a heterosexual relationship after all. Too bad it's also beastility as well; but whatever. Dukie's liking this as the ORACLE EYE RAINBOW PYRO FLASH OF SLIGHT SUFFERING blinds Dukie for a second as Tummi wants questions.
Dukie then decides to test the Great Oracle by asking him if he knows his greatest desires. Tummi responds with the right answer of course; because he was in the pilot episode and he knew what was going on since Cavin told him that. Dukie and the ogres sell as if God has spoken to them. In your dreams O'evil one! Dukie asks for how it can be done and Tummi blasts out the secret as to get Gummi Berry Juice from the Gummi Bears which allows Dukie to swear in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (blasted!). Dukie demands to know the secret of the juice and Tummi decides to really play tricks on him by demanding that he leap in the air while asking for that question. Dukie is shocked and appalled (in that order) but the earth shaking forces Dukie to sell all while the ogres do the We're Not Worthy spot. Toadie does nothing because he's the most over in the episode I guess. Tummi also tells him to cover his head because it's bad luck according to the stars which Dukie sells without question.
Igthorn: This is humiliating; but it's worth it!
To get the secret of the juice; or to amuse me?! Never mind. Either answer is true anyway. Toadie holds back a smile because even he wants to see Dukie screwed before he get the jettisoned plot device later on in the series. Dukie asks for answers again and Tummi decides to play nice and tells him (and the ogres) to pick all the Gummi Berries they can pick by noon today. So; it's mid morning now as Dukie sells like a foolish follower should. This is really too funny to watch. Tummi decides to rub it in even more by telling him to take off his dirty, smelly boots and leave them here. Dukie protests; but the EARTHQUAKE RAINBOW EYES OF DEATH word is LAW so Dukie sells by taking off his boots. So that's three barefoot characters in one episode who usually wear shoes. It seems to be a recurring theme in this episode....and he hates green berries of course. Dukie hops like a foolhardy barefoot out of the area which Toadie responds by REPEATING THE FUNNY SPOT along with the rest of the ogres.
Too funny as they are out of sight and Tummi comes out of the mouth and helps himself to the food which is all good for him; but not in the eyes of the GUMMI HEALTH POLICE BEARS! He sezs he's going to like this diet as he eats. Remember not to eat with your mouth full..or in Tummi's case..open. We head to the dining area of the Gummi Bears as Cubbi is relating the story that the ogres were picking berries like crazy. Sunni wonders why they want them and Gruffi blows the ogres off as usual while Tummi is sitting right there giggling. I guess he's like me and he's weight hasn't really affected his energy level. Gruffi then states that they left a few minutes ago which shows that they were the inventors of standard time too. Tummi gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and leaves without eating dessert which shocks Zummi to no end. And it was good for him too. Tummi calls it a diet which is now becoming a dangerous diet if you ask me in more ways than one. Tummi leaves because he needs a little run and everyone is SHOCKED at these events. Tummi runs out saying not to hold dinner for him as Grammi drops his dessert in a cute spot which is a blink and miss moment if I do say so myself since it was hidden.
We head back to the ORACLE OF SATAN as the eyes open and Dukie and the ogres have arrives with baskets upon baskets of Gummi Berries. Well; the oracle must be a short distance if Tummi can get there so quickly. They lay the baskets on the stone ground as Dukie asks the oracle for the secret of the juice. I suspect more screwiness is upon us. After all; this is a Wizard of Oz plot device going on here. Tummi declares that there is another ingredient in the mists which shocks and appalls Dukie (in that order) as Tummi says it's really important. See; you need the feather from a baby snarkling. Since my spell checker addresses it as a misspelled word; I suspect Tummi is lying here. Dukie complains because they live in the bad mountains of Mount Ugly. The oracle laughs it up and he needs it by this afternoon. More lever (WRONG LEVER!) pulling leads to more earth shaking and it leads to more selling which leads to more Tummi popping out and eating the Gummi Berries. I believe this is going to backfire on Tummi now as he is eating. We head to the forest as the ogres are walking and Dukie is on the orange ogre's shoulders to protects his really smelly feet.
Too funny as Dukie then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY (sort of) as he wonder if it is plumed or crested? Toadie doesn't know so Dukie tells the troops to return to the oracle for clearing the thing up..and of course Tummi is sleeping right in front of the alter after eating up all the Gummi Berries from the basket. UH OH! I think we can safely say that Tummi is SO BUSTED! Dukie is ticked off and the urge to tickle Tummi with that feather from the snarkling is rising now as Tummi wakes up like nothing is going to happen and then he finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and tries to run into the oracle's mouth but Tummi is now officially TOO FAT to fit in that. Man; you are so screwed when THAT happens. Dukie wants the bear and two ogres (one yellow and one green) grab Tummi by the ankles and pull him out. Tummi is safely screwed now as we have about 90 seconds left in the episode so this should be awfully quick. Dukie tells him that he's going to die when he is bounced off his battlements; more or less and than the THUNDERING VOICEOVER OF DOOM (which sounds oddly like Zummi having an organism.) beckons to let Tummi go complete with earth shaking. Dukie doesn't sell because it's only a Gummi trick. Umm; Tummi is the ONLY Gummi Bear even near the scene at this point so Dukie has a big problem here. More rumbling from the false god as the winds blow at Dukie which Dukie treats him like a false god by telling him to make him and insulting it by calling it stone face.
Goodbye Dukie; I hope you got false god insurance because the ORACLE OF SATAN breathes the flames and basically turns his boots into ashes. Everyone runs like a scalded dog; except for Dukie and Toadie as they hop like funny men away from a false god which is much funnier than merely running away from a false god. Sadly; Tummi is not safe because the ORACLE is ticked off because Tummi ate all his gifts. Tummi is scared stiff; but he doesn't run away which means Pablo Bear's curse is broken. HEE HEE! Tummi apologizes to the false god and states that he'll never eat again. The ORACLE thunders back saying if that is a promise and Tummi bows down to the HEAD OF SATAN; which of course shows Zummi coming out of it's mouth along with Sunni and Cubbi. HAHA! Considering that the oracle is satanic; it suits Zummi so well. Zummi blows him off in a nice way and tells the gang that it's time to go home. Tummi is happy because he didn't get his dessert as the diet and the episode end at 10:39. Nice episode and it was the template for Baloo and Monty to steal from so it deserves some props. No logic breaks and entertaining spots involving screwing Dukie make me a happy Disney viewer. *** 3/4 ( 75%)
When You Wish Upon A Stone: Before I begin; I think this next quote pretty much sets the tone for this episode:
“Now we go from one extreme......to another!” - Paul Hayman, Bloodsport, ECW's Most Bloodiest Matches.
We begin at Castle Dumbwin...ERRR...Castle Dunwyn as we head to the courtyard as Calla is attending to her flowers in her bedroom. See what I mean by the stereotyping here?! Anyhow; we pan down to see Sir Tuxford yelling to Cavin and Unwin to sword fight with the quarter staff. HO! HAHA! PARRY! DODGE! SPIN! CROSS! THURST! OUCH! Whoops; wrong cartoon short there. I'm sure Fair Porky was laughing his butt off after seeing me just get it so wrong. Cavin is basically getting his head handed to him by Unwin here as the insults pour from Unwin's mouth. He calls him a small fry of course because Cavin is well...small. Calla is worried as Cavin goes in with the spear just to be a fool and Unwin sidesteps him which allows Cavin to spear Sir Tuxford. Good catch there lazybones! Be thankful that he had a wooden spear because he was dangerously close to stabbing your head off there. Tuxford blows Unwin off for being a bad sport and Unwin blows him off in kind because evil doesn't care about age...Or something like that I guess. Unwin winks at the Princess which means he's got an evil plan cooking and of course he invokes the Look at the Princess spot. DON'T TURN AROUND CAVIN! Ah forget it; Unwin just whacked him from behind with the wooden staff and Cavin trips and fall right into the pig pen. UGH!
You know you are screwed as a knight when THAT happens. Poor widdle Cavin; fall down and go boom. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Nice bump from Cavin though as Unwin blows him off with more insulting small talk so to speak. Cavin gets up as the animators screw up the scene because Cavin isn't covered with mud and he is ticked off and the urge to do a babyface beat down on Unwin is rising which is a mistake because he slips and falls on his can into the mud and finally the animators make him dirty...sort of. Unwin then rubs it in by declaring his love for the princess. That's a no-no Unwin! Unwin of course gets slaughtered by the...this is so funny...the plant pot complete with pink daisies. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is so lame that it is funny. DAVE THE CLEANING BARBARIAN OF LAUGHS and his show should be ashamed of themselves for claiming to be lame. And of course Unwin sells it like he's been comically shot dead as Calla tries to deny that she did it on purpose. Sure it was an accident my little sweetheart with Cubbi's voice.
We head into the forest as Cavin is picking on poor defenseless acorns because he's too young and too small to be a knight. He starts throwing acorns away in a fit of anger because it lead to Tummi getting nailed by one right on his butt in which the power of suggestion nails Gruffi which in turn allows Gruffi to bury his head right into the basket of blue Gummi Berries. Too funny to watch as TMS finally gets back into their awesome groove. Sun Woo should be ashamed of themselves for ever doubting the awesome power of TMS. Gruffi blows Tummi off for being clumsy and Tummi gives it to him back for insulting his weight I guess. Cubbi then decides to take over because the babyfaces are being attacked by the acorns. Okay; works for me. Cubbi grabs one and then throws one hard back and I suspect that Cavin will take a nasty bump off of it right about. Oh wait; Zummi stops Cubbi from trying to throw. So; they still cannot do off-screen throwing in 1985?! Fiddlesticks! Sunni look beyond the bushes and notices that it is Cavin. Well; at least Zummi didn't do a speech where saying that violence is wrong because I've heard enough of that to last me a lifetime. Here's a clue: Violence gets results! Just ask the Americans who nearly wiped Japan off the face of the earth at the end of World War II. You think the Japanese would have surrendered if the Americans didn't bomb them to death?!
I just love the peek-a-boo spot the Gummi Bears do as Cavin turns around and notices them so he doesn't have to commit unintentional violence on them anymore. Cavin denies that something is wrong and Gruffi blows it off as a lie. Sunni tries to get him to explain his situation and Cavin decides to confess because Tummi is a good listener I guess. See; Unwin made a fool of him in front of the princess. I think Unwin made a fool of himself; but what do I know? Unwin of course called him weak. Considering that Unwin sucks; does that make Unwin uber weak?! The Gummi Bears call Unwin a jerk and a bully. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Cavin then states that Unwin is right. Yeah sure?! Why not just use Gummi Berry Juice?! I know that the Gummi Bears won't approve; but come on! Unwin has this one coming a mile away. Grammi calls Unwin a big bag of wind. No; Grammi, Drake Mallard is a big bag of wind. So is Valvalis from Final Fantasy II USA (I cannot spell the original Japanese name of the Wind Elemental Lord; so there you go); but she was dead easy so Unwin should be even more so. Just don't fall for his dumb tricks Cavin and you'll have his butt on a silver platter. The Gummi Bears give their opinions on how to deal with Unwin: Grammi and Cubbi would use violence: Cubbi with the fists, Grammi with the rolling pin, Sunni would ignore the guy.
Yeah; that works for the divas in the entertainment industry against the media; suuurrre Sunni! Tummi just wants to eat of course and I agree with him as he continues to show that Homer Simpson was stealing from this show all along. Gruffi signs with Sunni of course which is a new low even for him. So it was Gruffi who enabled Sunni teenybopper image?! I knew Gruffi was a bad influence on her. I just needed the episode to prove it. Tummi just wants to eat and I think Cavin should take his offer. Zummi of course barges in and states a more reasonable solution because arguing voids all solutions I guess. Zummi's calling them out is really funny as Cubbi suggests that Cavin use Gummi Berry Juice and Cavin thinks that would work. However; Zummi puts a stop to that because the VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE is not allowed for selfish matters. NOW HE TELLS US! Zummi's way is to practice and train. Sounds reasonable and Cavin agrees with it as Gruffi finally decides that this coversation is getting too blue by his standards so it's back to work. Everyone leaves except for Cavin and Cubbi. Cubbi then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and states that they should look in the Great Book Of Gummi for an answer and drags Cavin away back to Gummi Glenn. Now that's a great idea since Zummi pretty much DEPENDS on it at this point as if he is a drug addict.
We head to Zummi's book room as Cubbi and Cavin peek inside the Great Book of Gummi like a peeping tom looking like a pervert. They turn the page and they find the answer that they are looking for which is a wishing stone. We know this because it should a picture of it on the top left corner of the right page. It's in the Cavern of Shadows and it's a large emerald which Cubbi has trouble reading and Cavin has to correct. I guess Gummi education has little on the process of words and grammar. Cavin sees this as his answer to Unwin so that logically leads to Cubbi and Cavin going into the Cavern of Shadows. We know this because they are in a cave and you can see their shadows. Cavin is carrying the torch since Cubbi's still too young to play with fire. So what is Cavin's excuse?! Cubbi calls it a neat place. Then again; danger is his forte so it's apporos. They make it to the entrance and Cavin does the echo spot. Cubbi has some rope which I suspect will be involved as a plot device before this episode is over with. That wakes up the bats and they nearly suck Cubbi and Cavin out of existance. Okay; they didn't; but I could have hoped. Cavin and Cubbi foolishly fight the bats which forces them to back up (excellent animation here) and they fall right off the edge towards their doom as the segments ends nearly four minutes in. Well; that was quick; but I'm not feeling this episode like I did with Tummi earlier on...
After the commercial break; Cubbi and Cavin slide down the stone slide and they take some really wussy bumps against a rock wall. Since this is 1985; that is apporos for little kids. Cubbi and Cavin get up quickly and wonder where they will find the emerald now. Cubbi calls it easy and all Cavin has to do is look up. So they look up and the emerald is on a huge alter which looks like a multi-tower mushroom made of stone. Okay; that design creeps me out for some reason that I'm having Alice In Wonderland flashbacks. The green emerald is glowing of course as Cavin wants the rope. Darn it! I knew it would get involved somehow. Cavin does the old ROPE LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE and manages to hook a small rock just about two feet below the emerald.
I don't think that is going to hold any weight for any good length of time. But this is a cartoon so we go to the Fuzzy Cartoon Logic Defense for that sort of thing. Cubbi and Cavin make it up to the top without incident as the FCLD wins that round easily. Cavin wonders how big he should wish himself to be. How about twice as big as Unwin?! Cubbi suggests a giant and Cavin thinks that is too big even for him. One problem; Cubbi notices that there is a real giant sleeping below the mushroom like altar. Huh?! The rope is directly under him despite him not existing in that very spot when Cavin and Cubbi arrived. That's Logic Break #1 for the episode after about 15 minutes without seeing one. Cavin and Cubbi want to leave but the rope tickles the giant's nose (which the animators completely screw up) and he sneezes which blows away Cavin and Cubbi of course. The giant wakes up and he appears to be mad, bad and crazy.
He is voiced by the late Bob Holt (Wizards, Bedknobs & Broomsticks, Charlotte's Web The 1973 edition etc.) who passed away quicker than Bob Scott and Rodger Carmel did in this series. That is just a freaking bummer. Not six months into the second series in DTVA history and they lost three of their best voice talents including Gruffi, Toadie and Sir Tuxford already. It makes you wonder how sad it must have been when TaleSpinners lost Ed Gilbert and Tony Jay recently and realize that at least they passed on when the series was already dead so they could remember the memories rather than right in the middle of a series where they wouldn't have that chance to remember. This also marks the first voice talent to appear that isn't in the main cast for this series after eight episodes. The giant is ticked off as Cubbi and Cavin swing around like drunken sailors so the giant whacks them like a pinata that doesn't break. SOMEONE FIRE THAT PINK STUFFED PINATA! Cubbi and Cavin wrap around the altar and then the ropes slips from their grasp and they fall down with a decent bump. Cubbi notices a cave as the way out; but the giant grows a brain and throws the boulder towards them. They dodge it of course; but the rock completely blocks the entrance as a result. The giant invokes the stone club which forces Cavin and Cubbi to scatter.
Cubbi and Cavin run into the giant's cooking area (I think) as they dodge more club shots and hide in the squeezing room to save themselves. The giant does the peek which is more creepy when the heels do it and he invokes the finger. Cubbi takes that as him giving the middle finger and he whacks it with the WOODEN SWORD OF PIN PRICKS which teaches him a lesson about pointing fingers at children. Now if he could do that to his family; maybe he could get some respect around here...or probably not. The giant munches on his finger (EWWWW!) and decides to wait it out because he's been here for a hundred years. Cavin admits defeat because he'll be too old for knighthood if he waits that long. Cubbi wants Cavin to bash him and then goes for his secret weapon: The VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE. Cavin loves this because being super strong is the answer. Sure; Zummi said no; but Cavin's life is in danger and it must be done. Cavin drinks up and it's ROID RAGE TIME! Cavin walks into the line of fire as Cubbi orders him to bop one for him. How nice for him. The giant turns around to notice him and he wants to season Cavin for his stew... Hmmmmm ...Stew..SLURP! Cavin does the standard “let us go or I'll kill you” more or less line. The giant laughs because Cavin is a pipsqueak.
The giant grabs him and tries to kill him by crushing Cavin with his bare hands but Cavin manages to break the hold and then does the one finger throw (which TMS shows in dramatic anime fashion I should note) and the giant takes a GIANT-SIZED bump right into the BARREL OF LAUGHS; or something like that. Cubbi cheers on Cavin to well; MURDER that smelly, dirty, wart-infested giant. Cavin goes to the club and is ready to MURDER the giant with it. I told you that ROID RAGE would need to evil mood swings and this episode proves it beyond a shadow of a doubt. And sadly; the juice wears off and the club almost MURDERS him. The giant wants to squish him like a bug so Cavin calls for Cubbi for help. This sort of proves Unwin's point there as Cubbi tries to move the club; but no go. So Cubbi gets the VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE (can that be anymore contrived?) and drinks it. It's BUTT BOUNCING TIME as Cubbi bounces right up on top of the giant's nose and lays down the LAW OF THE CRIMSON AVENGER on him. I know that isn't for another 19 episodes or so; but whatever. Cubbi tells him to take his best shot and manages to bounce away just in time for the giant to invoke the POWER OF THE PUNCH right on his fragile nose. Sadly; no blood spills out because it's DTVA before Gargoyles of course. Cubbi then bounces right on the spoon as the stew is splatted right into the giant's right eye.
Cavin manages to get away from the club just in time for the giant to roll his foot right onto the club and the giant falls backwards and lands with a GIANT SIZED bump onto the floor below. At least the bumps are hitting this time as Cubbi and Cavin scatter back into the hiding spot. Cavin then realizes that he can use agility instead of power. Well; that the mark of a monk instead of a knight; but whatever. Cavin decides to go for round two with the giant as he taunts him as the giant recovers and tries to grab him but misses by a country mile. Now I can see this plan working for a change. More taunting as now he has become Unwin; but with more creditability. Well; Unwin used dirty tricks to beat the reckless Cavin so it's fitting that Cavin's doing the same thing to the reckless giant. Cavin runs away into the Cavern of Shadows as the giant is ticked off. More club dodging as Cavin hides behind a huge rock. More taunting an dodging ensue as the giant is getting more and more reckless. See; Unwin taught him something which makes Unwin useful for just one episode. Sadly; a stray rock clips Cavin's leg from behind and Cavin is out of commission with a broken leg, which will be reduced to a sprain since breaking body parts isn't allowed on children's television apparently. Cubbi dives in to the rescue since his ROIDS are still working for about five seconds as his juice wears off. You know you're screwed when THAT happens. The giant grabs Cubbi and the giant tries to crush him to death basically.
I love it when Cubbi becomes so brave to take that sort of punishment. All seems to be lost for the faces as Cavin is forced to dodge the club again; with one good leg mind you. Cavin realizes now that it's time to wish for him to become bigger than the giant as Cubbi told him earlier unintentionally. The giant taunts him to try that because he tried that as Cavin is running from him as apparently; the injury has magically healed by itself. Logic Break #2 for the episode. While Cavin was breaking logic; the giant states that he was a small fry like Cavin before and made a wish with the stone. Oh wait; Cavin is actually selling the injury. Logic Break #2 is popped out of the episode; barely. The giant states that he became so frightened that he could never live with his folks ever again and had to live in this cave. So if Cavin wishes to become bigger; than it will become his last as he will be basically like him. More club bashing as the emerald falls down in front of Cavin. Cavin realizes that size is the only way that he can save Cubbi and Cubbi panics because he thinks that Cavin would change himself into a monster. Cavin does wish for a change size but ON THE GIANT ITSELF! Now that's an effective way to defeat him.
The giant shrinks and turns back into a human child wearing blue clothes. I find it completely hard to believe that that kid used to be at least 100 years old since he's still young even after changing back. Force of FCLD I guess. No voice talent research for him sadly. He sounds like Honker; so I guess it's Katie Leigh. I got to admire Cavin for defeating someone without killing him because I don't have that kind of courage myself. Everyone shakes hands and makes up; but the boulder is blocking the exit and it needs a giant to get it out. The kid and Cavin used up their wishes; but Cubbi has not so he touches the emerald and wishes for the boulder to fly out of that hole. The wish comes true as it flies into the cave and nearly MURDERS Cavin and the kid in the process as it flies with a MAN-SIZED bump into the wall which signals that the cave is caving in.
Oh; that wasn't contrived in the very least; no siree! They run out of the cave as the Cavern of Shadows is completely destroyed of course. Well; at least TMS made it cool unlike the unhip Sun Woo animators who did the same thing in Polly Wants A Treasure. Actually; this episode was leaning as a template for The Idol Rich know that I think about it. The kid, Cavin and Cubbi are safe of course. They promise to each other that they never become bigger ever again although Cubbi would like a little more height as the kid, Cavin and Cubbi go their separate ways. Of course; his parents are dead and no one would believe that the kid ever saw a Gummi Bear; so it's no logic break.
We return to the courtyard of Castle Dumbwin..ERRR...Castle Dunwyn as Unwin and Cavin have another sparring practice (with Princess Calla cheering him on) and this time Cavin is being smart about it as it's Unwin who is being reckless missing his shots by a country mile. Cavin hides behind the table as Unwin swings wildly. Cavin crawls underneath the table and under Unwin's legs to get him from behind as Unwin is screwed beyond belief like all reckless knights do. Cavin yells En Grade and whacks Unwin from behind into the basket and he takes a decent bump onto the ground as a result. You just got served you sort of big bully! Sir Tuxford praises his cunning as Calla drops a pink daisy right into Cavin's hands. Cavin bows down and shows respect for Princess Calla as the episode ends at 10:37. Started off slow; but it picked up speed and didn't look back once the action heated up with the giant. And it's nice to see that Cavin showed off his smarts against both the reckless giant and later the reckless Unwin which he should practice until he is strong enough to take on bigger challenges. Another entertaining episode makes for a happy Disney viewer. *** ½ (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Two more shorts; two more entertaining episodes for the books. Although neither episode was really beyond greatness; they did provide the templates for TaleSpin and Rescue Rangers. The Oracle was for Gruel & Unusual Punishment and Baloo's weight in TaleSpin.; with Monty in Battle of The Bulge for Rescue Rangers. Both episodes were not perfect by any mark; but Tummi's entertainment of screwing Dukie in the most humiliating way possible that was within BS&P was the strength of the episode. Sadly; the message contradicted itself because anyone who has talked to a dietitian l knows that fruit is not a bad thing; it's the cakes and cookies that Tummi probably eats that is the problem. And while people think that Sunni and Cubbi eating Tummi's cookies was a funny spot; it is contradiction to weight loss since kids often learn from their elders habits and therefore should have refrained from eating the cookies. It's a minor annoyance for me and it's not enough to deduct a lot of points (about 1/2* by my count); but it should be noted.
The second episode was a complete contradiction of the previous episode in which Cavin wanted to be bigger. It started pretty slow with several contrived spots although seeing Unwin getting nearly slaughtered by the plant soil was funny and the general contradiction of Cavin using Gummi Berry Juice when he was told not to use it for selfish reasons late in the episode. And a few logic breaks marred the episode as well. However; the strength was in the fight with the giant as he was game until the end and even Cavin had enough presence to even sell a legit leg injury near to the finish. Plus; I loved the finish since it was clever. Size does matter and he proved it by shrinking the giant down instead of becoming one like him. The caving in cave was a bit contrived; but it was effective. Again; this was the template for the Idol Rich in TaleSpin and it shows as this was another entertaining episode marred by contrived spots and a few blown animation by TMS (where's the mud on Cavin guys?).
So that is it for review #99 in my Rant Shack of Thoughts. The 100th review begins tomorrow with A Gummi By Any Other Name and this one is an important one since it's the debut of Princess Calla in full bloom. This is also a test for Disney Television to see if they are the real deal here if you know what I mean. Rant #100 will also be an important one which is The Secret of The Juice which is the beginning of the end of Duke Igthorn's creditability as a monster heel. So....
Thumbs in the middle for both episodes and I'll see you all next time.