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The Fence Sitter/Night of The Gargoyle
Reviewed: 07/19/2007
Cubbi knows how to sit on the fence for the win!
Well; kiddies; here it is, my 100th rant on the Rant Shack of Thoughts after nearly four years doing this gig (and it's on my 30th birthday; what a shock?!). I was hoping that it would be the episode: The Secret of the Juice; but Chris Barat's time line is different from my rant time line and the order Disney went with the episodes; so it's back to doing shorts again. There is one that I remembered and loved and one I don't remember at all. Considering the caption; I think you know which short I remember and like out of them right?! So...let's rant on shall we?!
The Fence Sitter is written by the late Bruce Talkington while Night of the Gargoyle is written by Michael Maurer.
The Fence Sitter: We begin inside the dining room of Gummi Glenn as the Gummi Bears are having their supper apparently...and all of them are sitting together at the supper table. And moralists say Disney somehow poisons children's minds?! Okay; for some reason Cubbi isn't at the table which probably means that he's the rebel and that Sunni's stealing his heat. Or maybe not. Gruffi's not eating because he's too stubborn to eat anything please apparently; munching on food without saying grace is not THE GUMMI WAY! Oh; wait he's upset because someone is eating all their Gummi Berries and if it does that then the Gummi Bears would be forced to sleep underground further and cannot defend themselves from evil because evil doesn't take winter off apparently. Nice spot from Tummi to steal berries for safekeeping. And of course; Gruffi wants to handle it his way because that is THE GUMMI WAY. Sunni blows that off because her plan works better than Gruffi's plan. Okay; putting birds to sleep is Sunni's forte so it shouldn't be a problem and therefore I will take Sunni's side. Just don't tell anyone I did. And then we cut instantly to Cubbi jumping up and down on the spot trying to get everyone's attention. I refuse to believe that TMS did a Mister T Crappy Animation Spot. This is clearly a bad spot by the DVD ROM and it shows how bad the tape is right now.
TaleSpin is already much better than this. Gruffi blows Sunni off of course because singing doesn't make parasites go away. It's going to take some muscle as the DVD is really choppy here. Cubbi (complete with WOODEN SWORD OF PIN PRICKS) is still trying to get their attention as Grammi does her usual mild sexual blowoff on Gruffi complete with the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH. Gruffi does the Barf response (I heard that!). Cubbi is really ticked off right now that everyone is ignoring how cool he really is and jumps right on the table to tell them that it is back. Everyone jumps from the table and exits Gummi Glenn as Tummi comes out first as Cubbi is the king of Tummi's castle. Which makes Sunni the dirty rascal. HA..I KILL ME! Cubbi uses the WOODEN SWORD OF PIN PRICKS to reveal that the PINK COCKATRICE OF DEATH is eating the Gummi Berries from the bushes and damn it to hell; it looks awesome while doing it; almost rapid fire munching. The Bush prattle (so sezs Zummi) leaves which sounds good in theory but it's far worse because once it finds food; it comes back until all the food is gone. Yeap; it's THAT bad. Sunni is horrified that the winter crop might be gone in a few days.
Wow; she's not being a diva; yet. Gruffi gets the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE and proclaims that it's time to force this fiendish bird away. Considering that Sunni's singing plan and Cubbi being monster over; I'm rooting for the bird to win this one. Gruffi puts Tummi on the spot and Tummi has to sell it because he's not good at plans not involving screwing Dukie. Grammi of course hates violence (thus forgetting the pasta violence she invoked in The Sinister Sculptor earlier in the series. Just like Rebecca forgetting about bread violence in A Star is Torn) by revealing the tray and tries to force Tummi to sell and Tummi does. Sunni of course is acting like a real person because something must be done quickly as the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM returns to eat more berries. Prototype to that and the Gorilla Birds perhaps?! Everyone runs away to get their MINI JOKE ZONE PLANS in order (with Tummi running away because he's in the WEB OF GROUPTHINK) except for Cubbi because he has a real plan and therefore is ignored as a result. Cubbi just sits down and sulks. What a bummer that was?!
Interesting Thought #1: Does anyone remember Dungeons & Dragons The Animated Series in 1983?! Besides the problems with violence and the occult (which was really silly and petty in retrospect when you see the moralists try way too hard.) which I really had no problem with even back then; there is one aspect that I really don't accept anymore and I'm glad this short is going to kill it. It goes like this: The group thinks of the actual plan and then tries to execute it. Someone from the group has a different plan which apparently is better than the group's plan. The group then forces the issue to get certain person to not use that plan and then the show ends showing that the group plan works. Some people call that working together to solve problems. I call that gang mentality which is quite similar to how gangs and drug dealers work. Not exactly a great thing to show to 6-12 year old's isn't it?! What Cubbi is about to do is going to change that plot line completely and get it over so much that everyone started using it and it became one of the few cliches that still works today...So let's return to the rant shall we?!
We head back to the Gummi Berry Bushes as the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM continues it's funny eating binge and Grammi decides to get the first crack in as the first Gummi Bear to be a complete failure. I guess Grammi's blow off skills of Gruffi allowed her to go first. She unveils the TRAY OF DOOM (while talking the bird into looking at her) to reveal dead bugs. Ooooooo...actual visual death reference there Disney; that is SO risque. NOT! By the way; every dead fly has Mickey Mouse gloves and shoes on them which is silly since real flies have no arms. That should be the final Disney in show product endorsement right there which shows that Disney was a real corporate whore back even in 1985! The CHOCOBO OF DOOM screams out in agony and runs like a Bad Bird from Samurai Pizza Cats. Must...Find....DVD... For...That...Series...So...I...Can... Show....Drake...Mallard... How...To....Be..Really... Funny!
She basically kicks up so much dirt from running in the same spot and buries Grammi in a dirt tomb. Too funny as Gruffi comes over to blow Grammi off as usual. Hey; works for me. Can you do any better Gruffi?! Gruffi ducks the throwing of bugs from Grammi of course. Hey! Show those bugs some respect Grammi! They were Mickey Mouse fans once. We cut to Zummi with the notes which means that he's going to cast a satanic curse on the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM as the moralist are going to their e-mail accounts as we speak. They are about as shallow as David Perry is right now after calling gamers shallow. Considering that Dave has only created one good action game in his career (Earthworm Jim); he makes even Sustainer gamers look deep in comparison. At least they like action, shooters, epic RPGs, sports games and racers. Zummi tries to cast the Tornado spell from Final Fantasy VI Advance; but he screws up. Well; that spell is a level 10 spell and he's only a level three mage at this point. Finally; he gets it right...
Zummi: Blummo hummere!
Translation: Blow my hummer!
BWHAHAHAHAHA! That was the best one yet Zummi! Keep up the good work in amusing me there. And it works as the tornado swirls and completely slaughters Zummi! Well; that gives new meaning to the term unfocused magical spell as Zummi is blown away. Apparently; Thummere means: Blow his hummer! Zummi is blown right out of the episode (I hope not!) as the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM just stands there and eats more berries for my pleasure. Too funny. So now it's Sunni's turn as the diva herself sneaks behind the greedy pink bird like a teenybopper should. Ah; she's back in midseason form now. She then plays the flute for no reason whatsoever. WHAT THE HECK?! I thought that Gummi Berry Juice song would be perfect; and she resorts to this crap?! The greedy bird turns around as Sunni plays piped piper. Memo to teenybopper: It only works on mice; except Mexican mice of course. The PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM basically MURDERS her with the MACHINE GUN BERRIES OF DEATH! That is as close to bullet shooting guns as you are going to get in this series; so get use to it guys! That's about 0.2 Trigun as Sunni takes a good bump on her can on that spot. Sunni blows her off. Sure sign of a diva: She cannot handle any criticism whatsoever. Best moment for that greedy pink bird ever.
So it's Tummi's turn and his MIMI JOKE PLAN is to stand in front of the bushes so the greedy pink bird cannot eat them. Which is probably the best plan I have seen from them. Not saying much; but still. The PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM eats the berries that Tummi cannot defend from and leaves thumbing her nose at Tummi. Arrogant little fiend as Tummi moves away and sees the Gummi berry likeness of himself. Wow; the first plan that almost worked...So now it's up to Gruffi as he has the LASSO ROPE OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE as he proclaims that a Gummi's got to do what a Gummi has to do because that's THE GUMMI WAY BABEE! THE GUMMI WAY also implies that you fool FCC shows into thinking that lassos are cool. Gruffi calls the pink fiend a scrawny butter churn (HUH?!) and and manages to wrap the lasso around the bird's neck. Gruffi hangs on...FOR DEAR LIFE...as the bird start to stampede in the forest as Gruffi is now completely screwed. Umm...HELLO?! Where are the rest of the Gummi's?! The end result is that Gruffi whacks himself right into the trees and he sees stars and they tell him his plan sucks eggs. He is knocked out taking a good off-screen bump as a result. Well; that attempt was a waste of time.
We head back to the dining room...ERRR...BIRD KILLING WAR TABLE OF DEATH (Much better!) as Zummi admits that they should all work together in a form of group think! Of course everyone is too selfish to come up with one big plan to agree on as everyone blows off everyone else. Well; except for Tummi and Cubbi because Tummi too busy doing a funny spot with the spoon and Gummi Berries and Cubbi because he's monster and everyone is leeching off his heat. I'll let the dialog speak for itself: Gruffi wants a fence, Grammi wants an ogre scarecrow (Disney Captions team missed a word in the script) and Sunni takes Gruffi's side of course. Tummi takes no side as Zummi proclaims that they have only time to work out one plan and it's time to put it to a vote. Cubbi shows respect for the school system by raising his hand to talk about plans and Sunni blows him off because he's too little. If that means too little to be a teenybopper then Cubbi is very grateful to be too little thank you very much.
Cubbi blows off Sunni for me because he's got a plan. Gruffi grabs him and sets him on his feet on the wooden floor to tell him to go away basically. Cubbi tries to reason with him; but Gruffi completely ignores him by petting his head. Oh great; now Cubbi's a victim of the Kit Cloudkicker Gidget Pet Shop Joke. Cubbi storms out because he's monster over as Gruffi and company decide to put this whole thing to a vote. Zummi and Grammi opt for the scarecrow and Sunni and Gruffi opt for the fence so Tummi gets the breakthrough vote and of course he's too busy amusing himself. If I'm Tummi; I would sign with Cubbi and really screw their plans just for making Cubbi look like a pet shop joke. And of course; the Gummi's pressure him like a bunch of bullies as he just wants to eat some berries. Tummi then picks Cubbi's route and walks out to think it over as Gruffi rest his head on his shoulder getting off death reference #1 for the episode (die of old age).
We head outside at night (Parent's groups are going to hate this spot) as Cubbi walks in the forest searching for that dumb bird. If only the Gummi's weren't uber dumb if you know what I mean. Cubbi pops his head out of the bushes as he sees that the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM has a nest full of...PUPPIES! Jerry Lawler must be having an organism seeing that spot...Or maybe not. Cubbi runs back to Gummi Glenn to try to inform the babyfaces; only to be blown off by everyone else. We head inside Tummi's room as Tummi is asleep after having a midnight snack thinking that those pesky Gummi Bears are trying to poison his mind with bad thoughts. Okay; maybe not intentionally poisoning his mind; but still. A knock is on the door as Tummi wakes up and the door opens to show Grammi with the tray which means that the Gummi Bears are trying to bribe him for his votes. Number 2170 reason why politicians are corrupted: They watch this short. Grammi bribes him with the chocolate chip cookies which of course food is Tummi's weakness. I thought we agreed that he was still on a diet?! Another knock on the door and Grammi is forced to hide in the closet.
You would think that Grammi was smarter than Loopy in not hiding in there; but what do I know?! She takes the tray of cookies with her of course after going through the motions one too many times. Tummi asks someone to come in and it's Gruffi's turn to bribe him for his vote. Well; I expected this much from Gruffi. His character is off model her for some reason as if he looks rather EVIL myself. Gruffi has the pocket knife in his procession and since this is a TMS episode it doesn't shine like it would with Sun Woo. Tummi is both happy and mad because he was supposed to fix it...Months ago! Gruffi butters him up to get him charmed of course. Gruffi sissy slaps Tummi gently to show how heartless he really is.
He makes Baloo look like a model father in comparison. Gruffi throws a few sissy elbows to the ribs to rib him into giving in to him. Gruffi hears a knock and Gruffi hides under the bed. Ah; I see he trained Jack Cases too. Tummi askes him to come in and it's Zummi Gummi with the picture book and it's called Scarecrows of the World. I thought Zummi was ABOVE bribing?! This is the poison of the GROUPTHINK OF DEATH right there as another knock on the door beckons and Zummi is now forced to hide. Of course he cannot hide in the closet or under the bed; so he hides on the bed under the covers. Got that?! Okay; Tummi calls for Sunni to come in because you could clearly hear a female voice and she's the only one thinking of bribing him that hasn't tried to bribe him. Sunni comes in and declares that she'll do her chores if she gets her vote.
That is full teenybopper material right there as she bounces right onto the bed which Zummi screams (DUH!), Sunni bounces her can right onto Gruffi's foot or arm (DUH!); which forces her to bounce right to the CLOSET OF GAYS which spills Grammi out (DUH!). Her cookies and tray are destroyed of course and that spot makes as little sense as the pilot episode's finish when Dukie want up the chimney like Saint Nick...and everyone accuses everyone else of bribing Tummi for his vote. These Gummi Bears would make perfect politicians yes siree! They got the lying, bribing and denying parts down like an art form. Tummi then yells out to be quiet and it's the funniest yelling I have ever heard. Lorenzo Music just sounds too funny to be taken seriously. Tummi of course cannot make up his mind because they were making up too much noise. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments.
The shameful Gummi's leave Tummi's room like the shameful bears that they are. Well; Gruffi is shameless; so he walks like he's mad at Tummi. Tummi sits on his bed and decides to think while insulting himself. That's not going to get his far at all as he falls asleep in a funny spot. Cubbi is outside now that everyone is away from Tummi and walks right in to ask Tummi what he's doing. Tummi wakes up saying that he's thinking. He's a light sleeper here as Cubbi asks him if he has decided yet and Tummi lies about three different times before asking Cubbi for any ideas and Cubbi jumps on the bed to say that he does. I like where this is going....
We head to the dining room with all the Gummi's present as apparently Tummi has made his decision...and his answer is neither..AND THAT'S HIS FINAL ANSWER! Everyone groans on that spot because it's the POISON OF GROUPTHINK~! See Tummi has a plan and the plan is from Cubbi himself as Sunni groans right on cue. Tummi defends the little buddy (YAY!) as Cubbi explains what he saw from his trip earlier in the episode as the pink bird has babies and therefore the plan is to get the babies to eat a different kind of berry and the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM will leave the Gummi Berries alone. That officially assures that Cubbi is immune from the MINI JOKE ZONE along with Kit Cloudkicker, Don Karnage, WildCat and Molly Cunningham (how fitting?). Everyone LOVES the idea which sounds a little too contrived for my tastes. In reality; they would tease hating the idea and then go through with it because the previous ideas suck and they know it. Gruffi thankfully does that for us because he's a stubborn old mule of course. Everyone votes along with Cubbi which is pointless because everyone including Gruffi agrees to it without question. It's merely a gesture for Cubbi's good scouting and he earned his merit badge today. Along with teaching us that groupthink is not always a blessing; it often can be a curse.
So we head outside as the PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM leaves her nest to find more Gummi Berries as the babies wait in the nest. We then see the Gummi Bears with baskets of Wild Blackberries and the blow darts hiding behind the bushes waiting for the mother to leave. Now that she's gone the Gummi Bears spring into action as they basically blow dart blackberries into the throats of the baby birds. Apparently; blackberries are better than Gummi Berries as everyone feeds the baby birds. Don't try this at your local zoo; you'll be banished for life. Just saying. Of course; Gruffi gets blown off by Grammi and Gruffi tries to do it; but the bird grabs the blow darts and blows the blackberries right back in Gruffi's face. Now that's a misfire! Grammi blows him off and rightfully so as he deserved that one. More force feeding and the screams of the pink greedy bird beckons as Sunni calls for the Gummi Bears to hide and they scatter like scalded dogs (taking one basket of blackberries). The PINK CHOCOBO OF DOOM arrives with Gummi Berries and spits them into the babies mouths.
They tease a bit before showing their disgust and basically firing the berries right back in their mother's face. They then show mother that they love blackberries more showing the baskets of blackberries laying around. Cubbi was right; that pink bird is REALLY STUPID to notice that her babies were tricked. The pink bird feeds them blackberries as the babyfaces is seeing how much Cubbi rules at this point. However; the baskets empty quickly; so Zummi steps in and taunts the bird with the final basket of blackberries. He also has the VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE and Zummi drinks up. It's BUTT BOUNCING TIME as Zummi bounces away with the dumb pink bird following him. Zummi stops at the natural crossroads and teases the pink bird winning; but Gruffi bounces OUT OF NOWHERE and grabs the basket and heads stage upper left. More bouncing as the pink bird is gaining on Gruffi; but Tummi takes over from there and it's more bouncing. However; Tummi is way TOO FAT and gets bitten on the butt which allows Tummi to scream..badly (but in a funny way) and Grammi to carry the basket.
The pink bird gets tired; so Grammi stops about thirty feet away and tosses a few berries on the ground which gets the pink bird back into step. Basically; the spot is to stop, drop, bounce, run, eat and repeat. Sunni and Cubbi take over from there as they are getting along now and they bounce right into the blackberry patch and place the basket down right in the middle of it. They bounce away like scalded dogs as the pink bird arrives and appears to be ready to munch some berries; but looks around and she thinks she's hit the mother lode. So she just starts eating like a greedy fat pink bird should. She is getting what is coming after this; she is that dumb...She's very stupid! And no one has learned anything; which is apporos for such a pointless song. Oh wait; wrong show.
The babyfaces are thrilled because now they can harvest their berries. Gruffi of course blows it off because they would have to set up housekeeping in the Gummi Berry bushes. Tummi then chimes and sezs that they would have to vote too which earns about 100 blackberries right in Tummi's kisser! That spot is so funny as Tummi shrugs on that spot to end the episode at 10:40. This was a prefect short that had a plotline which lasted ten minutes and didn't seem to be padded or rushed; had a simple plotline which everyone understood; had Cubbi show that working together doesn't have to involve bad groupthink and of course some really entertaining spots such as the bird screwing the Gummi Bears and the Gummi Bears screwing with Tummi's vote which was payed off with Tummi going with Cubbi's perfect plan. Too bad most DTVA shorts never really got to this point of greatness. ***** ( 100%)
Night of the Gargoyle: And it goes downhill from there as we begin inside Castle Dumbwin...ERRR...Castle Dunwyn as we head to King Gregor's throne for a special occasion. Cavin and Calla are showering his with gifts which makes me all gushy inside since today is my birthday. Gregor's is simply King's Day of course. Gregor opens up various JOKEY SURPRISES OF DOOM and none of them explode sadly. Jokey is dead as a character when THAT happens. Gregor is modest; but Cavin eggs it on because Gregor is loved. Well; after the last rant, he pretty much is right now. Sir Tuxford comes in with the red present which was left outside the drawbridge. Oh come on; if you cannot smell the obvious right here than you have no business reading this rant. Gregor reads the note which states to put the Gargoyle Statue on the battlement for good luck and it's signed by the Gummi Bears. I think we know who's planning this one huh..Dukie?! Cavin and Calla are shocked; but Sir Tuxford blows it off because Gummi Bears are fairy tales in their minds of course. That Gummi Woman was a mere figment of their imagination.
The kids play along of course due to their swearing on the Gummi Bear's Book of Honor. Gregor opens it up and I was right; it is a Gargoyle Statue and it's the ugliest thing this side of Kinjuisnee from Romancing Saga 2. The hero who steals souls and can kill your party members so badly that you are dead forever. Revive doesn't work at all. Gregor accepts the gift because he doesn't want to offend anyone. Like I said; the writers still needed a few more years before they got all that patronizing and PC'ness out of their systems. Sir Tuxford takes the gargoyle statue (God that thing is ugly!) and agrees to put it on the tower for good luck. We head outside the castle as our ultra-cool sidekick Toadie runs away as the birds chirp in the background to show that the sound guys are working way too hard. Toadie is chuckling as he head to Dukie on his black horse rubbing his BEARD OF SATAN and Toadie informs him of the plan working for a change. Now Dukieocity is a kick-butt pet name and Toadie should drive it to the ground before someone as uncool as Al Gore starts using it. Dukie of course loves it as he laughs at the bad fortune to befall Gregor with that ugly looking thing. That gargoyle makes Crazy Frog That Annoying Thing look like a role model in comparison. I'm almost glad that most ugly heels are gone in DTVA because it's a bad stereotype and it makes the heel seem unwatchable.
We head into the Gummi Glenn living room as the babyfaces exchange notes on this situation. Tummi wonders why they didn't send Gregor a present and Grammi blows it off because they didn't send a present. Okay; I can accept that. Zummi asks what the gargoyle looked like. Cavin explanation of it is really funny which is a pretty good acting job for a child actor to do I should note. I cannot argue with that description as Zummi has some feeling about it being somewhat familiar to him but he cannot put his finger on it. His old age is causing him to depend on his books instead of his mind. Remember this for those who say TV is bad: Many people in the Middle Ages thought reading was worse. Calla is concerned for her father's safety of course; but Cavin tells her that it's time to go back to Dunwyn. Calla and the Gummi wave goodbye for now as Zummi decides to go to the Great Book of Gummi for additional support. It's like technical support; minus the long trips to India. We head back to Castle Dunwyn AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as everyone turns in for the night. I didn't think Dunwyn was that huge until I saw the numerous houses from within the castle walls. We head to the battlement beside Gregor's room (I think) as the Ugly Gargoyle rest on it's perch as one of the guards gives it the dreaded Care Bear stare which is worse than the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH I guess.
The guard turns around as the full moon flashes and that makes little sense since moon light rarely ever shines like sunlight. There's Logic Break #1 for the episode and of course; the gargoyle statue comes to life and he is uglier than ever. I mean; it ultra hard to look at him straight into the eyes of him without being blinded by his presence. He dislodges a brick from the castle wall and just casually drops it on the guard's head which creates a wussy bump as a result. It's also Logic Break #2 because the guard wasn't anywhere near where that brick would have landed on. That's just taking the power of suggestion way too far. His casual spot is pretty cute though as the guard is out. It's time for the CHAOS OF THE UGLY GARGOYLE. Even Goliath looks wicked handsome at this point. The ugly imp jumps down and pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and and locks the drawbridge gate to keep everyone out. The ugly purple imp jump around with an even uglier laugh as we head back to the book room as Zummi is reading from the Great Book of Gummi and this is really bad as Sunni pops up OUT OF NOWHERE to annoy me and to bug him. Zummi does the eye-glasses catching spot and then asks Sunni if there is a full moon tonight and Sunni admits that there is and therefore Zummi says that Gregor is in grave danger as TMS has his face on the screen the whole time he says that line and it has more life than any anime or Hanna Barbera or Ruby Spears series at this point.
We head back inside Castle Dunwyn as Princess Calla is sitting right in front of Gregor's throne playing chess in order to kill time while having a basket of fruit beside her. This ought to be boring as she is playing herself apparently. I guess Cavin's weakness in life is playing chess I guess. I'm surprised Gummi Bears has yet to violate ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 yet (THOU SHALT NOT RHYME BECAUSE IT'S COOL!). She calls checkmate and I'm sure a chess player will blow her off on that spot as King Gregor arrives in his blue nightgown and pj's wondering why Calla is still awake. See; Calla's poor at chess so she play by herself to prevent herself from losing. What a wuss as Gregor blows it off (in a nice way) and tells Calla not to stay up late. Gregor attempts to leave but the pot falls from grace and shatters into millions of pieces right in front of Gregor. Call grabs onto him to console him; but Gregor shrugs it off because it's a defective castle.
Gregor leaves as Call feels bad as she turns around and sees that her chess pieces are replaced with fruit. Wonder how defective those chess pieces were Gregor?! We head back to Gummi Glenn as Sunni is sitting in her desk asking about how Zummi's going to stop the gargoyle. Zummi's suggestion to stop it is a daylight spell to turn it back to stone since moon light brings it to life. Sunni wonders who sent that ugly thing. Since Sunni is stinking up the joint; Cubbi storms in (complete with night gown and WOODEN SWORD OF PIN PRICKS) and proclaims that it's Dukie's fault of course. That was so great because Sunni blows Cubbi off on that spot. What a teenybopper?! Cubbi gleefully blows Sunni off back saying that she needs a warrior to protect her from herself. Okay; the from herself part was made up, but the implication is there. Zummi doesn't want to argue and puts the SPELL NOTES OF SATAN in his robe as the segment ends right there about four minutes in. This is just not my kind of short...
After the commercial break; we return to the throne room of Castle Dunwyn as Calla is calling out Cavin for one of his jokes and she also calls out for Unwin as she is rewarded with the chess piece dropped right on top of her head. She calls for the coward to show his face and of course the ugly purple imp is more than happy to show his ugly face much to my disgust. The gargoyle's voice is June Foray for the two people who care. Calla realizes that Gregor's gargoyle has been bewitched as the ugly purple imp is mad now as it continues to throw pieces like Falfelkid throws rumors around (Sample: Nintendo might publish Manhunt 2 with an AO rating which would be history. Sick history; but history nevertheless.). Calla counters with the apple and the imp catches it. He looks like a Goblin Guard from Final Fantasy. Wonder if Square was taking notes from this series since Final Fantasy came about two years after this series. The imp eats the apple to show how sick he is and throw it back which Calla defends with the chessboard to counter.
The ugly imp scatters as Call sneaks around to get that Annoying Little Thing. Whoops; wrong bad character! Calla notices the red curtain shaking which in her mind is the gargoyle which probably means that it is not. Calla tries to invoke the chessboard and pull the curtain away; but Sunni sezs wait and Call recoils because Zummi, Sunni and Cubbi are behind the curtain. See; the law of averages proves my point. They exchange notes until the curtain comes crashing down on them as that pesky gargoyle pulls the wool over everyone's eyes. The Goblin Guard jumps away into the hallway as Cubbi is wanting to bash some curtains (and the gargoyle of course) before everyone crawls from underneath the curtain. Zummi explains that the gargoyle was created by a devious wizard and that Dukie sent it to King Gregor as a present. Wait a second?! I know that Cubbi said he thought it was Dukie; but he was assuming that it was him. Even Cubbi admitted that much; so how does Zummi know it was Dukie?! Logic Break #2 for the episode as Calla wants to stop that ugly thing. Cannot say I blame her. Zummi explains the spell as the goblin laughs at everyone as he is near the shelf where he nearly MURDERED Gregor with the pot. Zummi orders everyone to cover their eyes and they sell it as Zummi advance forward. He casts the spell:
Zummi: Dummay, lamite, bromite!
Translation: Dummy Light Bowl Night!
And of course the goblin grows a brain and slams the poton top of Zummi; causing the spell to backfire. Nice animation effect from TMS as the goblin comes down and steals both Zummi's glasses and his hat as he is blinded from the light. Drat! I knew the Velma spot would commence from this show at some point. Calla, Sunni and Cubbi ask if they can see again as the ugly imp calls him a ugly dummy (loosed translation) but nothing happens. I told you Zummi had magical powers and that imp doesn't. He even wears Zummi's hat and glasses just to really rub it in. He somehow looks less ugly with those items. Cubbi wants to bash him because he has Zummi's spell and the ugly imp runs away into the hallways again. Calla does the split up routine with Sunni and her going to warn father while Cubbi and Zummi go after the imp which is pointless because I'm sure Dukie had that imp to go after Gregor directly to do mean and nasty things to him...and because Zummi cannot see without his glasses as he bumps into various stuff. Cubbi of course takes this rather well because he get to bash the imp without restraint as he and Zummi run stage down while Sunni and Call run upstairs to Gregor's room.
We then head with Cubbi as he continues his dash and bash so to speak. He is so great and he's so spunky that it is not funny. Zummi blows it off because he cannot see without his glasses. Of course; the ugly imp is hiding behind the pot and pops out snickering. Great...That ugly piece of crap grew a brain now! He runs away as Calla and Sunni continue upstairs towards the hallway. However; the ugly imp's whistling (God' it's ugly) forces them to look left and see the ugly imp on the sill of a window waving the spell notes in his hands like a hanky. Calla suggest pushing him out of the window; but the imp is onto that MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and tsks them like an American and waves the spell over the castle grounds below just to really get my goat. Calla tries the sweet talk approch as they sneak up to the ugly imp (like that's going to work) and Sunni just gave me a diabetic coma after hearing her pretty please with sugar on top. These two are REALLY STUPID because the ugly imp has a brain and knows that they are trying to steal that spell that will defeat him. He's actually a smart ass. The ugly imp drops the spell out of the window of course and jumps away from the FEMALE IDIOTS OF DEATH as Call swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (drat) as they proclaims that the spell is too important to lose. The paper lands on the roof as Calla climbs down to get it which adds creditability to my theory on Calla's intelligence in this short.
We head down the hallways as Zummi still cannot see and Cubbi still grabbing on him to prevent him from becoming lost in both matters I might add. Cubbi is acting like he means business as the wooden door in front of him opens ajar as we get motioning from the ugly imp beckons and Cubbi lets go of Zummi as he heads to the door waiting to strike fear into Goblin Guard. He kicks the door open and points his WOODEN SWORD OF PIN PRICK at the darkness and we get the pan shot into the treasure room. He calls the imp a plaster puss which is dangerously close to calling him a pussy at this point which earns him to be entombed in a pile of books which isn't enough to bury our hero as he is really ticked off and the urge to bounce is rising. The ugly imp has no sense of fair play or good looks as he throw down the suit of armor; but Cubbi manages to dodge that. The ugly imp hides underneath the blue curtain on some device that we barely see as Cubbi is ready to MURDER this ugly looking thing and he dives feet first into the blue curtain and sinks to his blue curtain grave.
The ugly imp crawls from underneath the device (oh it's a bed) and steals Cubbi's wooden sword. Oh; now you're asking for it you mutant midget as Cubbi pops from the bed wanting to bash him; but the gargoyle locks the door behind him just before Cubbi can get to the door and grabs onto Zummi's hand. Zummi doesn't suspect a thing of course which is really funny as the imp guides Zummi through the hallways again. The gargoyle lead Zummi outdoors and to a ledge as Zummi nearly slips on the spot and now even he is wondering himself if that's really Cubbi. The ugly imp runs away as Zummi is left to being close to killing himself as we head to the roof where Calla is holding to the royal road while Sunni is grabbing onto Calla's leg as she nearly comes close to grabbing the spell notes and after a major tease; the paper blows away in the wind. You know you are screwed when THAT happens. She grabs it on the rebound though as the winds of screwiness aren't playing today. They got the paper and not to find Zummi. However; they don't need to look as Zummi is stumbling and fumbling against the castle walls. This presents a true problem: if you don't help him he will fall...If you do help him; he will fall. Not an easy situation it is....
We head outside King Gregor's room as the ugly imp enters the room and closes the door shut. He also remembers to lock it from the inside; how nice of him. The ugly imp runs quietly towards the bed of King Gregor and looks ready to do evil and nasty things to him while the king is asleep. He goes to the window and notices Calla and Sunni climbing up so he throws Cubbi's WOODEN SWORD OF PIN PRICKS out the window and misses them by about three feet; but it's enough to cause them to stop. That was a clever spot as the goblin goes to King Gregor's crown and throws away Zummi's clothes because he wants to be king. Well this pretty much Dukie's plans out right there. Unless Dukie's plans were to merely screw Gregor and play mind games with him. He steals the crown and does the cut throat sign which really bothers me nowadays. He goes above Gregor's bed (How does that work?!) and chews the rope on the chandelier. We head outside to see Zummi walking around and he falls backwards right into Gregor's room. I think the imp's plans are about to go up in smoke right now as Zummi searches around and finds both his glasses and his hat. The ugly imp ignores him which is contradictory to everything that has happened in this episode. Zummi notices the imp chewing on the ropes and backs up because without the spell; he is useless. He does notice Sunni and Calla out of the window and demands the spell now. However; Calla is admitting defeat because they are too far away.
Sunni however has an idea as she fold it up into a paper airplane and throws it towards Zummi. That is so out of place for this episode it's not funny. Then again; the Great Gummi's made an airplane airship so it isn't out of place. Sadly; she throws it too fast and too high for Zummi to catch it and it flies right into the next window of the castle. More chewing from the ugly imp as Zummi slides across the edge of the castle which is courage on display despite his fear of heights. However; it manages to fly back and Zummi catches as Cubbi manages to pop up OUT OF NOWHERE. WHAT?! Wasn't he in a lower room which had no windows?! Logic Break #3 for the episode and the first one I don't accept. This episode is dying before my very eyes now. Cubbi tells Zummi to zap him as he opens the spells and does the casting again and it finally works as the gargoyle does the SHOCKING spell (complete with Dalek spot) and turns into a white version of himself as the crown falls down on the ground. The crown noise awakes King Gregor and Zummi is right in his line of sight. Zummi runs away as Gregor sleepwalks because he has been blinded I guess by the forces of sleepyness. He gets on his robe and walks to the door and opens it. It reveals Calla hugging him as he is confused and dazed. Zummi manages to get the statue away (which TMS makes a coloring mistake since it went from white to grey now.).
Calla is happy that Gregor is safe and Gregor blows it off because he was in no danger. And right on cue the chandelier drops right on his bed of course which prompts another castle needs fixing spot. We then head into the outside courtyard as Zummi, Cubbi and Sunni exchange notes about the gargoyle statue harming no one else tonight. Sunni wonders what to do with the statue and Cubbi proclaims that they bash it into a million pieces. Geez; Cubbi got violence on the brain in this short and it got him nowhere tonight. Zummi however; has a better idea and his laugh is getting him prepared for The New Adventures of Winnie The Pooh coming up in about three years from now. We head to Castle Drekmore's drawbridge as two ogres notice that they were given a statue from the Gummi Bears and foolishly decide to give it to Dukie as a present on his bedroom window. Yes; they are REALLY STUPID. The ogres enter the castle as the episode ends right there at 10:39. It was an okay episode; but several gaping logic breaks dragged it way down. This sadly marks the last official episode where Dukie was truly cool as the next episode will show the beginning of his downfall. ** ½ (50%)
THE REVIEW LINE
This was another contrast of episodes. The Fence Sitter was the first perfect DTVA short because the writers took a plot line that could only last about 11 minutes and run with it. It was simple: Get rid of a bird eating your Gummi Berries. It also eliminated the old plot line of group think that infected other shows which did more harm than good for the viewer in that Cubbi's plan was the right one and they agreed with in the end. Cubbi's mature nature and clever observation skills won out over bad planning and selfish attitudes. I mean the Gummi's went so far as to bribe Tummi for their vote for two plans which would assure that they would be without Gummi Berries right from the start. Thankfully; Tummi payed it off by deciding to take Cubbi's plan which was a brilliant one. Also; the entertainment of the pink greedy bird as she screwed the Gummi's one by one and still proved that she was still a dumb bird. Great start; great middle; great finish and a cute spot near the end from Tummi just made this the ultimate example of a great 11 minute short. Sadly; this has been an exception as many plot lines today last less than half that time and need padding to end the short at 11 minutes.
As for Night of the Gargoyle; this was right in the middle with an okay episode with some good moments; but it fell flat due to Cubbi having a one track mind at the expense of making Sunni look good and the gargoyle was just too ugly for me to watch most of the time and annoyed me even more than Crazy Frog EVER DID. The logic breaks were break taking as Cubbi shouldn't have been in the castle room beside Zummi near the end because he was on the bottom floor at the time and there was no notable window and he was locked from the outside. Plus; the gargoyle dropping Zummi's glasses and hat; followed by ignoring Zummi when he's right in front of said articles contradicted everything that the writers were shooting for in this episode and in the end the gargoyle lost whatever heat he had to begin with. It was really contrived and forced just to get the end result which was the Gummi Bear's saving Gregor from certain death. Overall; another mix of episodes. Next up is Secret of the Juice which is a great episode for viewer and historic as it is the beginning of the end for Dukie's awesomeness as he is slowly reduced to being a second rate Don Karnage. Plus it debuts the tickling spot on DTVA which nearly everyone drove to the ground in the years to come. I think Dragon Hunter used it a couple of years ago in fact.
Thumbs up for The Fence Sitter and thumbs in the middle pointing down for Night of the Gargoyle and I'll see you all next time.