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Too Many Cooks/Just a Tad Smarter
Reviewed: 08/15/2007
Rest In Peace Dukie; sleep well!
Welcome to Season 3 of Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears. There are only seven more rants to do including this one. Now that Gusto's is a part of the regular cast; it was a matter of time before a major heel would experience his fall from grace. Duke Igthorn has so far been able to retain most of his heel heat that he lost from previous episodes. However; as Just A Tad Smarter proved, a bad decision by the writers would ultimately lead to his demise as a major threat to the Gummi Bears. Also; Ducktales was starting it's syndication/broadcast debut at this point so now the credit lists get really messy and even the air dates get murky. I have heard of a writing strike commencing at this point of time as the reason for the mess; but I'm not going to officially confirm or deny it until I have more information. Season 3 also has only two full episodes this time around and sadly it is in such a messy state that I had to create the absurd notion of doing a total of 33 minutes worth of ranting in order to finish a rant. Thankfully; this only happens twice and hopefully it never happens again. So we begin with Too Many Cooks which is the third straight episode without heels in it (although there was a brief scene with the ogres in the last rant) and the next episode is the return of Dukie to television after four episodes without him. Sadly; it's not in the good light as we shall see. So let's rant and continue on shall we?!
Both episodes are written by the late Bruce Talkington while the story is edited by Jymn Magon and Tad Stones. Hard to believe Tad and Jymn went on to make three out of the four best DTVA series in history after this.
Interesting Moment #1: Sad to say but Season 3 starts with the same opening sequence as the second opening. Don't get too excited; the third opening sequence only contains three scene changes: Loopy/Cubbi changed to red dragon breathing fire at Gruffi, Most Peaceful Dragon scene replaced with Gusto annoying Gruffi (because he's so vain!) and Dukie on horseback replaced with Dukie about to throw Toadie out of castle window (because it makes Toadie's fall off an airship from Opening Sequence #2 make more sense I guess.). Thank you Youtube for doing something useful with my rants.
Too Many Cooks: We begin this one with the faraway side shot of Castle Dumbwin..ERRR...Castle Dunwyn as we pan over to Tummi picking off chestnuts from the TREE OF KNOWLEDGE while Cubbi is talking and Sunni is being her diva-like self. Yeah; all is right with the world because Grammi is making a chestnut pie and her cooking is still terrible...and Tummi needs some for himself and he steals a few for his backpack. However; the rumbling forces Sunni and Cubbi to hide as the..wait for it..THE MOB OF SWEET TAFFY FEAR marches on chanting Taffy over and over again. The animation here is so funny that I swear that TMS animated this scene badly on purpose. That march is so powerful that Tummi is forced down by a breaking branch into the bushes. Thankfully; the mob is too dumb to even bother to look. Candy apparently rots brains as well as teeth in this world. The KIDS OF GUMMI WAY are giddy because Sir Paunch, the imperial taffy maker is returning to Dumbwin to make taffy for his public. Of course imperial anything today is a real sign of evildoing in this world. Sunni grabs onto Cubbi's arm because they might be caught be the mob. Considering what the mob did in the previous few moments; I don't think they care. Cubbi of course wants to risk it all because it hugs your teeth, tickles your tongue and makes you wish you would never be done. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be comments. I also hear that it makes dentists super rich too. Even with the latest technology; nothing is more blissful than a bag of Skittles. However; Skittles weren't invented until much later so taffy is going to have to do.
Sunni ponders the moral question (BOO HISS!) so Tummi comes over and grabs both of them while chanting taffy (YAY!). Be careful Tummi Gummi; Garfield will sue you if you do his Candy promo in the Garfield Halloween Special. Never mind that Lorenzo Music did his voice; the character can still sue for royalities to his promos since Jim Davis probably wrote them. We head to the drawbridge shot of Dumbwin and then inside Dumbwin as the Dumbwin denizens (can the animators make Dumbwin look any more canned?) chanting taffy. Thankfully; the class level goes up a notch as we head to the window ledge where King Gregor and Princess Calla are overlooking the brainwashed public. Sadly; he is as giddy as the Gummi Bears are because he wants some cranberry flavor taffy. Where is that Anti-Canadian Beer Guy when we REALLY NEED HIM?! Princess Calla makes the claim that her father loves taffy more than the citizens do. That hug spot makes me think that he coached Calla into saying that; but what do I know?! I'm a ranter; not a psychologist. Pan up to see Tummi doing his TAFFY DANCE OF DOOM. I'm sure that the LEGAL HAND OF GOD is ready to smite anyone doing Garfield's candy promo in any context during this episode. Sunni and Cubbi are on their knees on top of the battlement in front of Tummi as Sir Paunch arrives into the castle to a standing ovation. Sony can only dream of getting that kind of reaction to PlayStation again.
He doesn't seem too happy to be here. I should note that even the males roles are stereotypical here: He's old; fat, wears GOOFY GLASSES and the traditional chef's hat and apron. Again; in the middle ages; this is all right. It's a real problem now and thank goodness James Barber killed all of those stereotypes (well; except for the glasses and the age; but that's probably due to his health more than anything. He's about eighty years old by now). He's throwing free samples of taffy to the public which surprised me because I thought he was unemotionally waving back to them instead. Bad animation there TMS. Tummi sees the free samples (he's got better eyesight than I do) and wants to dive off the battlement into the middle ages Mosh Pit; but Cubbi and Sunni stop him in time. Taffy – the failing of brain cells everywhere. Sunni blows Tummi off because there will be lots when he makes more taffy and Tummi's dreams are chipping away at the seams. Sir Paunch walks up the stairs to King Gregor as Gregor greets him and cuts the same promo that Cubbi and Sunni did earlier. Are Dumbwin denizens really particular about their taffy?! And you thought Canadians were vain about their choice of beer?! Sir Paunch then blows off everyone because he's only passing on his way home and is retired from cooking taffy which causes everyone to gasp in horror...badly.
King Gregor forces the issue on him because he cannot retire because he's the only taffy maker in the land. Sir Paunch blows it off because he thinks people worshiping him as an idol is the pits. That's why worshiping idols is wrong and King Gregor is a dirty man who should repent. Or maybe not. Sir Paunch is voiced by the late Howard Morris. I would like to say that this is his first episode on DTVA; but Ducktales is running and he could have debuted in an episode before him so I'm not going to pull the trigger on such a thing. Sir Paunch declares that there will be no more taffy and Tummi's heart is broken. And yes Tummi; nothing is sacred because if it was humans would be already dead a long time ago. King Gregor then pleads with Sir Paunch to create one last batch for him and Sir Paunch teases one way or another. Talk about putting sympathy heat on Sir Paunch here.
They all say please nicely and Sir Paunch just cannot turn heel in their eyes (although today blowing them off would have made him a bigger babyface.) so he decides to make one last batch which everyone pops for; but then amends that it's only for the king and everyone else groans. Well; there's only this man who walks on water and turns water into wine to worship guys; if Disney would only allow it on their shows. Tummi sulks like a fat guy; but the teenybopper Sunni has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN: Go into the kitchen and copy the recipe so they can make the taffy themselves. WHAT?! Sunni grows a brain?! Since when?! Me not know how that is possible?! Why didn't you do that from the start and save yourself the trouble when he came to Castle Dumbwin the last time?!
We head into the kitchen as Sir Paunch and King Gregor exchange notes because King Gregor wants Sir Paunch to do his magic of taffy making in private. Doesn't that just make the Gummi Bear plan more easy than usual?! Sadly; Sir Paunch won't share his recipe until he finds someone worthy of such an honor. King Gregor peeps into the pot which earns the STARE OF DOOM from Sir Paunch. King Gregor blushes and then leaves to let Sir Paunch do his stuff. Serves you right for being a peeping tom King Gregor! He shuts the door and he's still being a peeping tom and a hearing tom on top of that which allows Princess Calla to blow him off. See; King Gregor wants to steal the recipe for his own ego basically so he peeps into the keyhole as Sir Paunch goes over his ingredients: flour, sugar, butter and then throws the butter in with the spoon to plug the keyhole and King Gregor's peeping eye. Too funny and he deserved it too. I should note that Sir Paunch is wrong here: Taffy is made of butter and sugar; but flour isn't one of the ingredients. The modern version is similar; but it uses corn syrup and glycerin (Sugar alcohol). Of course it also uses flavorings and colorings; but sugar and butter are the two key ingredients here.
Princess Calla giggles at King Gregor's expense. King Gregor recovers and tries to listen which is stupid because Sir Paunch is on to him and he can always lie about what he's doing to play mind games with him. As Paunch is blowing him off; the SCOOBY DOO BOOKCASE OF DOOM slides open and out comes Tummi, Sunni and Cubbi and they hide behind the BARELL OF LAUGHS as they watch Paunch work his stuff as Tummi is writing on paper with the white feather which should keep Michael Eisner away for one more episode in the Phantom Zone. However; Sir Paunch is now playing with King Gregor so he basically calls out the ingredients; but they are no way related to taffy while he pours the real ingredients in the bowl. King Gregor is screwed and even he is screwing up his part of writing.
Tummi is so deadpan serious that he's listening to the recipe instead of watching what Sir Paunch IS REALLY DOING. And I see Logic Break #1 for the episode because Sunni and Cubbi should be telling Tummi not to write what he said; but what he is actually pouring in and they have a CLEAR view of the area which King Gregor doesn't have. Oh wait; Sunni just told Tummi everything..Logic Break #1 has been popped out of the episode! Sunni grabs the paper and pen and starts writing the REAL RECIPE as Sir Paunch continues to lie to him just to get in King Gregor's head....and he's giggling which sadly give it away that he's tricking Gregor and of course Gregor gives up much to Princess Calla's love. This doesn't bother her at all. She must hate taffy and she's not telling anyone lest she gets blown off by Gregor for disloyalty to the throne. Sunn writes one bucket of milk. Folks; this isn't a taffy recipe; this is a cookie recipe. Memo to writers: Taffy is NOT A BOMB! It's a candy recipe. It's not going to do harm unless you eat too much of it. I wish someone had a recipe book on hand before doing this episode as we cut to the fireplace as the fake taffy is boiling in the pressure cooker on the stove.
Sir Paunch uses the hook to pour the hot taffy into a bowl and it's it cool then we get sequences of Sir Paunch creating the taffy. Other than the ingredients; the recipe is pretty much spot on and the spots are spot on as Cubbi stares in awe. Sir Paunch seems a little too excited when he starts chopping the taffy like a maniac. James Barber should teach him the proper way to use a knife. Tummi tries to eat a chestnut but Sunni sezs the recipe is over and they should leave now allowing the chestnut to bounce off Tummi's nose hard. That is one hard chestnut. Sunni rolls up the stolen recipe; but Cubbi is nowhere to be found..and then Sunni's horror levels click in because the taffy has gotten to Cubbi's brain since he's climbing up the walls towards the sticky taffy. I told you that taffy is a drug that should be made illegal.
Thankfully; Sunni uses the hook (which somehow manages to get to the other side of the room in the sequence and hooks Cubbi away. How Sir Paunch didn't suspect them; I don't know as he suspect that King Gregor is watching him. Sunni, Cubbi and Tummi leave via the cupboard door and they close it as Sir Paunch goes over to the door and opens it to allow King Gregor to do a horrible face plant on the floor. Even Princess Calla is laughing so you know that spot sucks (in a good way though). Sir Paunch puts the huge plate of taffy on the floor just to show how much of a dog King Gregor really is. HA HA!
We go to the outside drawbridge shot of Castle Dumbwin as Sir Paunch leaves the scene completey. The KIDS OF GUMMI WAY are in the bushes out of sight and feeling really down now. See; Sunni's plan would have worked is Grammi had a pressure cooker. The funny thing is Sunni the teenybopper diva actually had a brain for most of this episode until she lost the two clicks in the making of a clue to make sure that there was a pressure cooker to make the taffy. Of course; today, you probably don't need one since stoves are really good. However; this is the middle ages so there you go. Tummi puts his hand on Sunni's shoulder because it was a good idea. However; Cubbi finally finds the two clicks that Sunni lost because his plan is to make taffy inside Dumbwin Castle of course. They use the mountain comes to the Gummi metaphor to make the point and everyone walks in with Tummi not getting the metaphor of course because he's too literal see. We cut to the drawbridge shot of Castle Dumbwin (For the third time no less! Yeah; even TMS was recycling backgrounds.) and then we cut to the kitchen where Cubbi is nailing the fork to allow the recipe to stay in place. They have to hurry before the chefs come back to cook dinner of course.
Sunni then decides that it wouldn't be right without the white coats. Sure sign of a teenybopper diva: A love for fur. I'm sure the animators didn't intend that spot. We cut to the bowl as Sunni and Cubbi have the sugar and butter (helpfully labeled in Old English style writing) and wonder where Tummi is. So here comes Tummi with the BARREL OF LAUGHS (labeled flour) and it lives up to it's name as Tummi slips on the walnut placed on the floor which is officially logic break #1 because there was no walnut on the floor on the far shot. The BARREL OF LAUGHS breaks off-screen in a MAN-SIZED bump and the KIDS OF GUMMI WAY are covered in flour. Doesn't matter the order of the shots as King Gregor storms in demanding answers. Clearly; King Gregor doesn't believe in ghosts. Tummi doesn't know the answer so Sunni answers that they are the taffy makers assistants and this is a surprise for the people of Dumbwin because they are going to give them taffy. Second...Best...Lie..Ever! Next to Molly saying that she'll be real good for Kit when he's babysitting. King Gregor then remembers that Sir Paunch is looking for someone worthy of doing taffy making. Tummi of course cannot resist doing deadpan blowing of the cover so Sunni ribs him to quit it. Sunni's got her elf work boots on today. King Gregor realizes that the denizen of Dunwyn would be delighted and asks if it would take more than an hour and Tummi cannot answer. Apparently; the crack Disney Caption cannot answer questions for missing two more words from the original script.
King Gregor takes it as a yes of course and then pats Tummi on the shoulder which releases more flour for Gregor to cough on. He leaves to make the announcement and Cubbi tells him to leave them alone so they won't be disturbed and screw up. Cannot argue with that point and even King Gregor agrees to that at least. As the door slams shut, Tummi turns around and wants to run away; but Cubbi stops him because they have an hour...and Gummi Bears keep their promises...even to humans they have no business. King Gregor didn't suspect a thing; but that's Dumbwin for ya. Tummi doesn't care because if they are caught; it's over. Cubbi then tries to do the old CANNOT FAIL IF HE WERE LIT ON FIRE SWEET TALK ROUTINE that Kit perfected and Tummi of course cannot resist. Cubbi is now a taffy enabler. I hope you are proud of yourself. We cut to the stairs outside as King Gregor is proclaiming that there will be taffy for everyone in Dumbwin and of course the dimwitted public pops on that moment with hats flying as we cut back to the kitchen as Sunni reads out of the recipe.
Again; the recipe is still wrong in my view and looks like a cookie dough recipe. However; we have to go on so the KIDS OF GUMMI WAY scatter from the recipe and return each with a dozen eggs, sugar and vanilla. Of course Tummi just puts the whole thing in without pouring it which makes the sight gag sound a lot less contrived. This episode is fun; but not uber fun as they say. We cut to the pressure cooker as the Gummi's use the hook to open it and the whole taffy is orange and somewhat thinner than regular taffy. Sadly; it misses the bowl and Sunni orders for a mop. Tummi runs on the orange liquid and of course slips up and crashes into a cupboard filled with plates which shatter off-screen. Now that's more like it as the orange slime exits the kitchen and here's comes Dumbwin's own King Gregor to live up to the name of his kingdom because he forget to look and he slips on the substance and falls down right on his pointy crown off-screen with a really sick bump. HA HA!
The KIDS OF GUMMI WAY try to mop up as King Gregor comes in wondering what this mess is. Cubbi blows him off because he promised that he wasn't going to disturb him. Gregor is confused as Cubbi and Sunni shoo King Gregor out of the kitchen and tell him to wait until they call him. Sunni feels that they have time for one more batch as Logic Break #2 rears it's ugly head because now the entire floor is clean as a whistle without any notable scene changer. Sunni tells Tummi (who is carrying the bag of cornstarch) to use very little of it because a little goes a long way. I know it's a cooking pun; but this is Tummi we are talking about and of course he pours the entire bag into the bowl because he should have been told that too much would make it too thick and lumpy. Cut back to the pressure cooker and this time; they got it to be the proper pink color. It is poured down onto the bowl and it looks perfect. However; now they have to pull it and that proves to be a chore as the KIDS OF GUMMI WAY play tug of war with the taffy. Sunni is complaining of course because she's the diva of this outfit and the taffy breaks halfway and ties up Sunni and Cubbi while the other half bounces around and ALL TAFFY HELL BREAKS LOOSE.
That allows Gregor to enter and he nearly gets MURDERED by a stray taffy shot which is good because I shudder to think what that thing would do to this head. The stray shot ends up being stuck right into the armor suit a floor down which King Gregor shudders because he didn't think taffy making was dangerous. Considering that taffy makes Dumbwin denizens go into a mob; why should he be surprised?! Gregor leaves away as they try one more batch and this time; they put more wood underneath the fireplace so it would cook faster. Now a higher temp does work as I found out cooking myself; but you really have to be a master in order to control the heat...and sadly; the KIDS OF GUMMI WAY don't have that skill as the pressure cooker is under too much pressure and blows off steam. UH OH! The KIDS OF GUMMI WAY try to escape but the hot steam blocks the escape tunnel; so they are forced to run out of the door as King Gregor is there (who doesn't notice who they really are of course) to look inside and he panics as the pressure cooker is hissing like an out of control. The KIDS OF GUMMI WAY run to the courtyard and there is no way to get past the public.
You know Dumbwin is dumb when NO ONE notices they are Gummi Bears. The animation of the public is a million times better than House of Mouse I should note. Cubbi then stands up and tells them that the taffy is ready. He doesn't know the half of it as the denizens of Dumbwin live up to their kingdom's repution and run into the stairs and pretty much bowl over King Gregor in the process. The KIDS OF GUMMI WAY run away giving us the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM for the fourth time in this short alone! The pressure cooker hisses and finally blows off it's top like a volcano as taffy pours from the chimneys AND everyone is covered with taffy. Princess Calla is in the window nicely blowing off Gregor as we pan up to see King Gregor hanging by his cape (and taffy) eating taffy. When you eat taffy nothing is important anymore. It's like a drug in this cartoon; like the ROIDED JUICE OF DOOM. We head to the shot outside of Gummi Glenn as we head to the kitchen as Sunni and Cubbi sulk because they were selfish for hoarding all the taffy and in the end they got none. Huh?! There was a moral to this story?! I didn't see it.
Another tradition: Morals that you don't see until the very end because you're too busy being amused by the entertainment. Then another explosion pops out and the kids go into the kitchen as Tummi is basically on his butt and basically the entire stove is covered with taffy of course. Tummi then decides that he'll stick to healthy food from now on. That'll change by next episode; I'm sure of it. Sunni and Cubbi smile to end the episode at 10:48. Fun episode; good style but it lacked substance. And of course; the addiction for taffy is a little forced if you asked me. *** 1/2 ( 70%)
Just A Tad Smarter: Let the heat fly away...NOW! We begin this one inside the Gummi Berry bushes as the babyfaces are picking Gummi Berries for their next harvest. The animation looks different for some reason. Cubbi decides to use the saw just to show that six year olds on Disney are more responsible than real life humans are. Grammi tastes the berries. I don't understand why they need to do another Gummi Berry harvest. They have done that like five times already. Then we hear the real reason since a trap has been sprung and that forces the babyfaces to run over so we get the suspense shot of the trap (complete with mini cow bell) and everyone is SHOCKED because Toadie is hanging and he's DYED HIS HAIR RED! THAT IS SCARLEGE! Oh wait; it's not Toadie, it's Chuck McCann making his DTVA debut..sort of (although his real debut was as Duckworth for Ducktales I should point out) and his real name is Tadpole. Tadpole blows off the babyfaces because he thought Gummi Bears didn't exist. Sunni blows him off because he's not a dumb ogre. Gruffi pulls the lever (WRONG LEVER!) and Tadpole is let go with a blowoff from Gruffi. They'll learn to regret that decision as Tadpole walks off and warns them that he'll find his fellow ogres to squash them and the Gummi Berries.
Cubbi wants to MURDER him with the saw but Grammi grabs him before any real action can begin. Geez; do you did to bury a huge babyface now at this point?! Well; here we go....We head to Castle Drekmore as Dukie is in the courtyard with the ogres as he commands them to clean the courtroom with their tongues because it's a treat for them. I believe that will be the last great spot he gives before he is buried into loser villains that Fat Cat would later suffer and Don Karnage might have suffered had it not been for his flamboyant voice. Gadd calls Dukie really mean and Dukie threatens them with...wait for it...THE MOAT MONSTER OF DEATH! And since it's Dukie I would listen to him all the ogres sells like the cowards that they are. Dumb mind=Funny spot as they say. Two ogres have a meeting of the minds while licking the ground and it wasn't at the moat as Dukie actually manages to get off the word devil in his speech while flinging his mustache like Oil-Can Harry. Sadly; it's Disney so it doesn't make him look like a porn star. This shows back then just how much stigma video games have when cartoons were allowed to get away with the devil since Nintendo always forbid that word. They even had trouble with demon as well.
Toadie enters Dukie's castle and he's SHOCKED AND APPALLED (in that order) at the ogres' decision to lick the courtyard. And of course he comes ultra-cool sidekick Toadie OUT OF NOWHERE with plates shattering on his little pinhead. Sadly; only one of them breaks. He notices Cousin Tadpole and he's SHOCKED ..SHOCKED I SAY. About as shocked to discover that my computer is incompatible with the Wi-Fi USB connector but not incompatible with Kyle's computer. CURSE YOU NORTHGATE! Tadpole helps him up and he seems to be a nice cousin to Toadie anyway and Toadie explains that he was dive bombing because Dukie showed him a shortcut to the kitchen. Tadpole wonders what is an Igthorn? I've been wondering that question myself for the last 32 episodes or so. Don't forget to add pray just to really tick off gamers who put up with Nintendo's funny editing practices (although understandable from a business angle I should note: Thank you Sean Malstorm!) Toadie picks up the dishes that somehow didn't shatter on impact and blows off Dukie in the nicest way possible. Cousin Tadpole sees this as an abomination because one human managed to control so many ogres and sees this as a way to screw..ERR..show Dukie his leadership. He's got the silliest crackle that I have ever heard as we cut to the SOAPBOX OF DOOM as Tadpole addresses the ogres (some are carrying torches) as brothers in combat against the tyrant known as Dukie.
Take one guess who is the soapbox in this scene. Even with his cousin; he's still a doormat. He gives the ogres a choice: Stay with the mean Dukie or stay with the moral midget. This would be classified as the first ever union; but since they are ogres it doesn't count sadly. Of course they aren't stupid enough to pick Dukie over Tadpole. The ogres pop and grab Toadie and Tadpole and enter into the castle throne room as Dukie is sitting on his throne amusing himself with red yarn. Should he be using green yarn?! It clashes with the blue suit. A knock on the door beckons and the door goes ajar as ultra-cool sidekick Toadie (even with Tadpole the title still stays with him- Now that's typecasting!) enters and tells Dukie that the ogres want to see him. Dukie blows him off because he's out to lunch and of course Tadpole agrees with him- except he has been like that for years. I think out to lunch is a bit false there Tadpole. If it was Baloo then it would make a lot more sense in the proper context. Dukie then demands who said that as the ogres (with torches) point down and he sees Tadpole. This is like Colonel Spigot; except Spigot was a lot funnier. Dukie blows it off because he's a midget; literally and morally. Dukie stands up as Tadpole stands up for the ogres. Tadpole declares that he's in charge of the ogres now and Dukie blows him off completely because he wouldn't let a little runt take over. So Tadpole snaps his fingers...and that logically leads too...
We head to the catapult as Dukie is sitting on the cup frightened to death. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?! Didn't A Hard Dazed Knight demonstrate that Dukie could MURDER anyone if he wanted too?! And he doesn't even put up a fight and is afraid like a scared puppy?! Oh; there's something flying out of the castle before Dukie is POPPED RIGHT OUT OF THE CASTLE...Oh wait; that's all of Dukie's heat. AND IT ISN'T COMING BACK! And I fear that it's going to get worse. I don't mind Tadpole; but this is really stupid on the writers part. Dukie is gone blah, blah blah. Would have enjoyed it more if Dukie had PUT UP A FIGHT AND WAS ANGRY BEFORE HE WAS POPPED! The still ultra-cool sidekick Toadie (who did his job as such in spite of it all) asks for further orders and Tadpole's orders are simple: Destroy every Gummi Berry bush in the forest. That's it?! Why not just try to destroy the Gummi Bears altogether?! Wouldn't that be easier?! I guess we have to wait until 1989 before the PC'ness is out of the system. The ogres pop for him because they don't know any better of course. Tadpole orders half of them to come with him and the rest of them will lick the courtyard again. Oh great! Another Dukie clone; only smaller. I was hoping that he would make their lives more miserable by making them work at even more disgusting jobs than licking the courtyard.
Here half of the ogres are treated well; the rest are treated badly. It would make more sense to treat them all even worse so Dukie looks good in comparison. Or treat them all really good for a while; then kind of beat the Gummi Bears and then treat them badly to prove how complacent Tadpole is. I don't know if Bruce Talkington realizes this; but Dukie is getting buried here by a moral midget and he's still not as bad as Jambalya Jake was. Well; Tadpole does have a great laugh (reminds me of that French speaking guy from Penny Proud where Sugar Mama doesn't understand a word he sezs while he's insulting her and then laughing out loud.) so he's already above Double Darkwings level easily. And he wants them to take a bath and ogres really hate that. That isn't bad enough to make me want Dukie back though. Everyone hates baths. Toadie hates that and Dukie never force them to take a bath. Well; at least Toadie is game to do a choking spot for my amusement though. We cut to the ogres destroying the Gummi Berry bushes while screaming. Again; why bother?! Tadpole is thinking way too small even for his size. We cut to the bushes as the babyfaces are behind them This is terrible as they want to know what Dukie is up to.
However; Cubbi is up on a tree and he sees Tadpole (with Toadie as a soapbox) telling them to make those Gummi Bear pay for their nasty tricks to him. If he wanted to show the act of payback; why not just destroy the Gummi Bears themselves? Dukie at least wanted them for their juice and had a taste for MURDERING them if given half the chance. This guy is so PC compared to Dukie and he's leeching off what little heat Dukie has left. Grammi blows him off because Dukie liked the Gummi Berries. That shows how dumb Tadpole is because squashing the bushes isn't going to kill the Gummi Bears. They would have to be extra careful; but whatever. Gruffi then has the ULIMATE MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN TO END ALL MIMI JOKE ZONE PLANS: Help Dukie get back to command of the ogres. Did Gruffi honestly drink the kool-aid before doing this episode? Did Bruce? Even Sunni thinks this is a bad idea which my opinion of her is up by two notches.
Gruffi declares that helping Dukie is the only way to save the Gummi Berries bushes. So you can all blame Gruffi for Dukie's no longer becoming a threat to anyone. Hopefully; it will be at least somewhat fun because this episode is fading fast on me. We cut back to Castle Drekmore far shot as Gadd (I think) is complaining because he hates baths and wants help as we go to the ogres taking baths in the buckets and washing themselves with scrub brushes. This is the most entertainment so far in this episode as Gadd grabs ultra-cool sidekick Toadie and he shakes him because he wants Tadpole to stop this. Like I said; no matter how asinine this episode gets; Toadie and Cubbi are always there to save it. Sadly; Cubbi has done NOTHING in this episode as we cut to the throne room as Tadpole is wearing the royal cape and looking himself in a mirror. There may not be real murder in 1986 Disney; but we are seeing character homicide on Dukie's character as we speak and the babyfaces has still not found Dukie.
Here comes ultra-cool sidekick Toadie as Tadpole lowers the mirror to see him. Toadie tries to nicely explain to him about the ogres and Tadpole blows him off accusing him of speaking down to him. If that is the best Tadpole has; then Dukie is dead as a character. Toadie throws himself onto the floor and begs for mercy. Dukie clone begone from my television screen! Tadpole then puts his foot on Toadie's head and blows him off so badly as he calls for the guards. The guards crawl like little babies as Tadpole orders them to throw ultra-cool sidekick Toadie in the dungeon. I betcha the ending has Dukie opening up the prison cell to free Toadie. The ogres call him Taddie and he hates that pet name...and of course they call him Taddie. Nice CONTINUITY from the writers on that spot though. The ogres drag Toadie by the arms as he cuts a promo on Dukie as the segment ends almost six minutes in...Toadie is the only one giving Dukie any heat right now; but the wound is leaking beyond repair now. Sadly; it's going to get worse now...
After the commercial break; we quickly go into the forest as the babyfaces is looking for Dukie and find the trail has gone cold. We then hear Dukie screaming at something and then the babyfaces goes to the bushes and Cubbi is amazed because Dukie looks absolutely terrible as his covering for his head is ripped completely apart and he is fighting with a fox cub. Yeah; make him look even weaker than he already is..and he loses the bone to the fox cub of course. I guess Disney still needs him for the Fox & Hound sequel. Dukie trips over a log and does a back flip right into the mud. Okay; the spot was nice and all; but it doesn't work for Dukie here. Dukie then lowers my opinion of him by pounding the mud screaming it's not fair I want my kingdom back. It's so bad even Gruffi thinks it all sucks. Gruffi pulls the wooden lever behind the tree (WRONG LEVER!) and that springs the net capturing Dukie. The babyfaces comes over and Grammi gets too close as Dukie tries to grab her but misses..badly. That's about all Dukie has left in this episode.
Dukie then complains like a little baby. Okay; I'm going to forget that this mess is going to get worse. I just want to end this episode. Grammi ends the stupidity by burying him (squeezing his nose which I like it when Kit does it to Molly; but not when Dukie's getting it.) and telling him to grow up. Careful now; you know how angry Michael Eisner gets when..Oh wait; he's in the Phantom Zone; never mind what I said. They'll help him get the kingdom back, blah, blah blah. Dukie does have an idea: Let him sneak into Drekmore and get Tadpole alone. You know Dukie if you just acted your character this episode would have been OVER in four minutes. Gruffi calls it a deal just like that and we cut to the Quick Tunnel sequence with Dukie being tied up and blindfolded in a separate car. Well; it maintains CONTINUITY; but still Dukie's heat is completely gone now because the Gummi Bears are making him look really non-threatening now. We finally head to Drekmore and the blindfold finally comes off of Dukie. Dukie feels reborn as Sunni finally gains some respect from me as she wants to gag. When Sunni is agreeing with me; it's time to mercy kill this episode. Dukie goes upstairs as the babyfaces follow and then Dukie hears Toadie's whimpers because he'll never become a drum major. Despite the suck; Toadie is coming through.
Dukie tells the Gummi Bears to watch his back while he checks the prison cell. Gruffi sezs that he cannot believe he is doing this. HUH?! It should make more sense for Sunni to get that line. Dukie goes over to the prison door and he notices ultra-cool sidekick Toadie holding onto the bars in glee because his Dukie has returned. Sorry Toadie; but the real Dukie died about three minutes ago. Toadie wants Dukie back because Dukie is a ladybug. Talk about heat leeching there. Of course Toadie is standing on about a hundred chairs because this episode did need a logic break. Dukie walks over to try to find the key but the babyfaces tell him to be quiet because the ogres are near and they are wearing flowers. Tadpole might be dumb, he might suck; but he is giving a little entertainment for the ogres to munch on. He notices the key on Gadd's vest and states he needs the key. Gruffi agrees to get it; but once he has it he is now his own. Dukie actually has the gall to shake Gruffi's hand. WHAT'S UP ABOUT THAT?! Even Dukie is taken aback from this...and he hasn't even teased a heel turn on the Gummi Bears.
Gruffi sezs to do their stuff: Uncork VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE (CHECK!); drink ROIDED JUICE OF DOOM (CHECK!); add doing sound (CHECK!); bounce like steroid freaks (CHECK!) defeat the ogres (CHECK!); overkill the defeat (CHECK!); let Cubbi grab the key (CHECK!); bounce away and give Dukie the key (CHECK!); lead the ogres away without them noticing Dukie (CHECK!); Dukie opens up the cell door (CHECK!) and Toadie grabs onto his leg while thanking him and Dukie blows him off (CHECK! CHECK & CHECK!). I think we get the point now as it's time to see Tadpole and it's time to say goodbye to a moral midget (and hopefully this episode). We have about 90 seconds left in this episode I should note which means I was only off by that much time.
So we head to the throne room with Tadpole pacing around in his robe and tries to walk some more; but Dukie steps on his cape off-screen and he blows off Tadpole...and then logic break #2 rears it's ugly head because in the next shot Dukie isn't even near the cape. Tadpole calls for the guard as Dukie steps on the cape for real. Dukie grabs Tadpole and blows him off because it's time to see who's boss around Drekmore. And here comes the FLOWER OGRES OF SUFFERING as they notice Dukie is back. Tadpole orders them to attack Dukie and are about to; but Dukie plays the routine that Tadpole used earlier in the episode. Why bother? The ogres might be dumb but this is really patronizing to repeat something when the ogres are ready to accept Dukie back because Tadpole is a mean leader. He promises never to be mean again. 2:1 odds put it that he'll lie before the episode is finished. The no more baths rule makes them pop for Dukie which is pointless because Dukie never give them baths in the first place. Dukie throws Tadpole to orange ogre and tells them to throw him into the moat for him to drown to death.
Tadpole struggles like a maniac because violence makes him break out...Break out of what?! Bad leadership?! In that case it would be an improvement. That is it for Tadpole as the ogres walk out with him. Dukie beams with his teeth for victory as ultra-cool sidekick Toadie praises him for being such a swell guy. Too bad Dukie's heat is completely gone and not coming back so Toadie has to carry the load of episodes from now one. Dukie then tells Toadie that he's next special job is to inform the ogres that he's back in charge and the Gummi Berry bushes should no longer be destroyed. Toadie wonders how that will be done in time because he's short legged. Dukie smiles like a goof and then TOADIE IS POPPED RIGHT OUT OF THE CASTLE AND EPISODE! This would be the extended version I should note as we cut to the babyfaces in the Gummi Berry bushes as Grammi proclaims that they lived painfully ever after. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The babyfaces laughs to end the episode at 10:48. Worst episode of the series hands down (Note From The Future: Ummmm, not quite.). I mean once Dukie was on the catapult; his stock as a monster heel was dying by the second and it really got bad when he didn't once tease a possible turn on the Gummi Bears. He basically stayed babyface for the entire episode after Gruffi agreed to the deal. A few scenes were entertaining; but nothing else clicked. * (20%)
THE REVIEW LINE
What a crappy way to start Season 3 as we had a really mixed bag of episodes. For Too Many Cooks; it was a middling episode which was fun to watch; but it lacked substance for the most part. As much as I enjoyed the episode; I felt that it would have been more interesting if we had Paunch's real motive for retirement be that he wanted to rip off King Gregor (and make him a heel since he had the look) and then see the error of his ways and realize that his passion made him have purpose. I did however like Sunni here as she looked really smart throughout most of it; only a sprinkle of diva was present.
Just A Tad Smarter was a complete mess to say the least. Chris Barat called this the end of Dukie as a monster heel. After watching this episode; it's far worse then that. It's the end of Dukie as a credible heel who now needs Toadie to save him from sucking in my eyes. The first three minutes were actually pretty good and Tadpole looked at least good enough to be a heel. However; when Dukie easily lost to Tadpole and his ogres (after the fact that A Hard Dazed Knight showed that Dukie could match against anyone if given a slight chance to tick him off) and he when catapulted he was pleading for mercy. Dukie is supposed to be a monster heel who would blow off these ogres for their betrayal of him. After that; Tadpole became confusing: he was nice to half of the ogres but not the other half and he basically was Dukie's clone only smaller. I would have had him be nice to them; score a defeat on the Gummi Bears through some way (destroy all but one bush which is saved by the Gummi's in order to maintain status quo.) and then become complacent and treat them badly. Or treat them in more evil ways that make even the ogres rivals shudder in fear. Tadpole then became a dumb heel: Why not just destroy the Gummi Bears? Destroying their Gummi Berry bushes alone isn't going to be enough to defeat them completely as the Gummi Bears can be more careful if they so choose. It might actually help develop their character for a while. Then came Dukie being reduced to merely a bad henchmen by a fox cub and then accepting help from the Gummi Bears. Personally; accepting help wasn't a problem per se.
The problem is that the writers did NOTHING to make Dukie look good as they basically made him look like a straight up babyface instead of having him tease heel turns several times in order to build heel heat for him. He might as well become an ally and have Tadpole be a heel and a regular character because it would have been a better bet. Instead; we return to status quo and all we got was an episode that really needed at least 22 minutes (and maybe 44 minutes) to flesh out. This short killed the ultra cool Dukie and from now on Dukie is reduced to being a second class DTVA villain; with Magica and Flimheart waiting in the wings for Ducktales and Lady Bane for Gummi Bears. Add on two logic breaks and you have the worst episode in the series. Only good animation and a few good moments from Sunni and Toadie saved it from becoming the first DTVA DUD episode. So...
Thumbs in the middle for Too Many Cooks and a big thumbs down for Just A Tad Smarter and I'll see you all next time.