Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Close Encounters Of The Gummi Kind/Snows Your Old Man
Reviewed: 08/21/2007
Gusto Is Such A Gas! HA HA!
These next two shorts I have seen only once many years ago so this is going to be somewhat old compared to some of the episodes that I never saw like the last two episodes I ranted on. One of them is the first time in DTVA that the season changed to winter. However; it's not a Christmas episode. More like a Spring episode to me. The other is Gusto doing what he does best: Getting Gruffi's goat. Something a lot of characters in TaleSpin did with Baloo. Once I get Gummi Bears done; I'm taking a month off from ranting. I was going to do six more rants with Goof Troop and Quack Pack (Three rants apiece) ; but my local stores no longer sell the DVD's anymore. So I'm out of luck and I'm taking the month off because I will be returning with Random Thoughts next Saturday and I need a better mindset when I go into the Darkwing Duck DVD during the fall. I'm getting near the burn out point at this point I should note and the last thing I need is to burn out with a few rants remaining. See the tail end of the TaleSpin rants. So let's rant one shall we...
Close Encounters Of The Gummi Kind is written by Bruce Takington and Tad Stones. The story is edited by Tad Stones and the teleplay is done by Bruce Reid Schaefer. Snow's Your Old Man is written by Tad Stones ad Ted Perry. The story is edited by Tad Stones and teleplay is done by Bruce Talkington. Sorry; I have NOTHING on Ted Perry so don't ask me anymore. I'm sure Chris Barat knows more on that subject than I do at this point. And that's it for the new writers until if and whenever Volume 2 arrives in stores.
Close Encounters Of The Gummi Kind: We begin with the GUMMI STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and then inside the hallway side pan shot as Gusto is inside Gruffi's workshop working on something which Gruffi instantly blows off because it's like Gusto: unbalanced. And then the GRUFFI DUMMY OF DOOM rides of the work ship in style down the hallway. It even looks like the real Gruffi since it's doing that annoying pose of his. For some reason it's less annoying when the dummy does it. We cut to Zummi with the SPELL NOTES OF SATAN walking down feeling pretty good about himself because he got his spells organized. He still needs Brain Age as the dummy forces Zummi into a whirlwind spot and of course his notes are on the floor in haphazard fashion. We then cut to the kitchen as Grammi is trying to hide her bran muffins in a basket from Tummi and calls this perfect. Only in your little close-minded mind Grammi as she walks outside and the dummy steals the basket of course and rockets down the hallway. Grammi almost sezs hell in that sequence. It is dropping muffins of course as Tummi manages to arrive just in time to take the basket from the dummies hands. Tummi thanks Gruffi for that in a confused state as the dummy continues to rocket down the hallway.
The wooden one; not the real one of course. It races around Gummi Glen for a while and then goes into the dining room and flings itself into the air and lands perfectly in Gruffi's old seat. The babyfaces heads into the dining room wondering what it is; but Tummi doesn't care because he likes it since he's got the food basket goodies so to speak. Grammi steals the basket of course; as she only loses about ten muffins more or less much to Tummi's whining. Zummi thinks it is Gruffi and Grammi knocks on wood to provide creditability to that theory. So now Gruffi comes in along with Gusto and Gruffi is blowing off Gusto as usual because Gruffi knows how to deal with ogres. Gruffi sit down next to the dummy and does his annoying pose of course just to prove Grammi's point right there. HA HA! Gruffi having a stare down with the dummy was pretty funny I should note. See; Gruffi's motto is if it isn't broke; don't fix it. Of course that moral is fine before Red Green showed up because really if it ain't broke; YOU'RE NOT TRYING! Gruffi proclaims that this trap will always work and of course Gusto blows it off in vain fashion. Now that's what I call being full of yourself. Drake Mallard should be ashamed of himself. Gusto calls the wooden dummy (as opposed to the real one) better than a trap. Red Green must be the first human Gusto discovered in his lifetime because it chases the ogres away.
Zummi calls the idea common sense and misspells the whole giving it a chance thing which allows Gruffi to blow the idea off because it would interfere with the defenses. I suspect Gruffi is going to lose that battle and we cut to outside as Gusto places the dummy in front of the tree and Gruffi blows Gusto off since he doesn't want it to mess with his traps. It wouldn't be until My Fair Baloo before the word screw would be used in the naughty context. Gusto states that it is no problem which is codeword for screw Gruffi as much as possible as the trap is set. However; Gruffi and Gusto notice in the bushes far away that the ogres and ultra-cool sidekick Toadie are lost in the wood and Gruffi wants to go back to the glen. We cut to ultra-cool sidekick Toadie leading the ogres and his calculations state that the map tells them to go this way. And of course; the ogres go into the opposite direction as we cut to Gusto and Gruffi running stage left. However; Gusto stops him because this is the perfect time to screw Toadie over with the Gummi Dummy which violates ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 (Thou shalt not rhyme..Becuase it's COOL!). Gusto is in vanity mode here because it's time to make some noise. And of course Gusto gleefully blows his over and Gruffi calls him a maniac. That's three times in this series that he has call him by that insulting name. Maybe that Peterson troll from Toonzone.net forums is onto something after all.
And of course; the ogres spot them and it's the Scooby Doo chase scene (minus the HB running sound effect) as Gruffi threatens to MURDER Gusto before the ogres try to so to speak. Now that's getting Gruffi's goat as they hide in the bushes. The ogres chase them; but they trip on the dummies which of course brings out the speeding dummy. One question: Who made the dummy? I'm guessing Tummi craved the dummy and Gusto finished it to look like Gruffi plus added the mechanics inside Gruffi's workshop. So there is a conspiracy against him. Maybe that tinfoil hat isn't working after all. Gusto is gleefully loving this as he damages Gruffi's tinfoil hat as we cut to ultra-cool sidekick Toadie sulking because he cannot make Dukie proud. So he takes a really sick bump (on-screen? Off-screen? Who knows?) off of the dummy and it's DUMMY RIDING TIME!! Much funnier than bull riding with a lot less Tingle jokes. Toadie of course sings because he's an idiot and then gets MURDERED in the face with a strong tree branch. HOLY CRAP! That was a sick bump there. The ogres follow the dummy while managing to avoid squashing Toadie. I guess the censors are watching this episode after all as the dummy go in between two ogres who have a meeting of the minds...and it wasn't at the moat because they would be eaten by the so-called moat monster which I have yet to see.
The spot was a little off though as green and orange ogre chase after the dummy like a ghost chasing Scooby Doo and the dummy right stage left in a 180 as orange ogre doesn't WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE and gets whacked as a result. Good bump there TMS as more chasing continues as the dummy rides over the cliff and make it to the other side without any trouble which of course the ogres fail to stop at because they feel that they can get over the hill; and they fall down the cliff as a result. Ultra-cool sidekick Toadie lands with a wussy bump so he is punished for that spot by getting squashed by the ogres of course. Gusto and Gruffi go to the cliff as Gusto blows off Gruffi in vain fashion once again. Gruffi admits that it's a good idea until he asks Gusto how to reset it and of course Gusto's vanity gets him into trouble because he didn't think that one through. OUCH! The dummy runs into the wood as it passes some wood cutters who notice it. The three woodcutter think that Gummi Bears are supposed to give you a pot of gold if you catch them. Me thinks someone got their myths backwards here as they chase after the dummy. The dummy woodcutters are Corey Burton, Rob Paulsen and Brian Cummings in case you care so we cut to Sir Lazybones Tuxford and his knights on horseback in which the dummy races right in the middle of the horses and the woodcutter chase after them without disturbing their horse one bit.
Logic break #1 for the episode as Sir Lazybones finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as one of the knights comments on them looking like the pictures in a children's book. Well; they don't call them denizens of Dumbwin for nothing so it is apporos. The knights claim that they grant three wishes if you catch them. Dumbwin denizens are so creative with their myths and imaginations..NOT! They get the worst pun of them all (This bears looking into.) and go after the dummy. The dummy knights are voiced by Rob Paulsen and maybe one of the writers (hard to tell). We cut to a woman on horseback carrying a cart with children in the back. One of the kids is voiced by Tress MacNeille along with the mother while June Foray voiced the other kid. This is turning out to be roosnooker86's worst nightmare come true. The kids notice the dummy riding sideways behind the cart as they notice him and say to mother that Gummi Bears are real. Well they are kids and it's hard to blow them off for their emotional state. Mother blows it off nicely which allows the dummy to come in front of the horses and finally the horses get emotional enough to sell it properly making the first logic break all the more glaring. So the mother admits that she has seen a Gummi Bear so everyone who sees it starting searching every bush to find the dummy. Zummi who is hiding behind the bushes. WHAT THE HECK? How did he get in this mess? Zummi goes into his SPELL NOTES OF SATAN and casts the spell...
Zummi: H-mide m-me n-mow!
Translation: Hide me now!
Most straight forward unfunny casting in the series right there. I guess the writers ran out of funny wording for his spellcasting. Zummi flies into the air and crashes off-screen with a MAN-SIZED bump into a tree. Did they drink the George Jungle Fruit Punch before doing this episode?! Sir Lazybones and his knights continue to look for that Gummi Bear dummy but no luck finding it behind the bushes so they move on without any further incident. Well they are the denizens of Dumbwin so it's apporos. Zummi pops out of the tree as we cut to a hot pie in a clearly shown net as Tummi arrives looking at it wondering if it would be a shame to leave that pie cold. He might be smart with wood and funny with his deadpan humor; but he still is no mental giant in this series so he grabs the pie and the trap springs as Grammi walks in and blows him off of course for using his stomach instead of his head. Tummi blows it off nicely because doing it his way is tasty. Grammi unknots the trap and Tummi falls down with a MAN-SIZED bump and of course he is so dense that he completely no-sells it. Pies: Before video games existed; they worked in easing pain. Humans are muttering in the distance which probably means that they created the trap. Grammi and Tummi decide to head back to the Glen because it isn't safe today. We head back to the STOCK FOOTAGE RECYCLE OF DOOM of the humans searching for Gummi Bears (minus the children this time; plus the telescope shot) as we cut to inside the defense post inside an oak tree as Zummi proclaims that the humans are out in sheer large numbers.
Tummi arrives from the trapdoor with nails and hammer in tow as he gets to nail them shut while Grammi and Zummi check the Quick Tunnels. Tummi then realizes one problem: Gusto and Gruffi are still out there. Grammi and Zummi say to forget about them because they can take care of themselves. I think they are too busy blowing off each other to care as Tummi hopes otherwise as Gusto and Gruffi are running after the scene changer. The humans are chasing them as Gruffi and Gusto hide into the bushes and go for the trapdoor; but it is nailed tight. However the humans seem distracted so Gruffi and Gusto go to the bushes and they notice the humans are chasing the Gummi Dummy again. Gusto feels relieved; but Gruffi blows him off because it was Gusto's dummy that got them into trouble in the first place. Gusto of course whoops it up again. This is what happens when you don't think your MIMI JOKE ZONE PLANS out first. Gusto just figured that one out now. Gusto and Gruffi scatter stage left to try out the Quick Tunnels. The humans run stage right; but stop right in their tracks as they are nose to nose with Dukie, ultra-cool sidekick Toadie and the ogres.
Since the numbers are against them; they run away stage left. Remember that while Dukie has no heat left with the Gummi Bears; he still has heat with the humans and the fact that the ogres and Toadie still has enough heat to give Dukie at least some creditability for this episode. Dukie strokes the mustache because he has such a bad reputation in this forest. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Dukie of course uses psychology and grabs Toadie by his vest to blow him off nicely as Toadie proclaims that Drekmore bumblers will get his Gummi Bears instead of Dumbwin bumblers. I think we have a draw in this department so I wouldn't get smug. Toadie is the smartest ogres of the bunch which means that he's the one who gets dropped like a bad habit by Dukie. When you are on a roll rant wise you know this episode is good. We cut to a side pan shot of a hill as Gusto and Gruffi are running away while Gruffi blows off Gusto and his dummy. I cannot tell which so Gruffi should be careful. Gusto apologizes because he was only trying to help of course. If you call helping getting Gruffi's goat then I agree with glee and happiness. Gusto goes over to the small cliff and he's in trouble because Sir Lazybones has gotten down to business as he and his men are breaking into one of the badly sealed Quick Tunnel as you can see by checking out the wooden planks on the other side of the door. Really stupid move there Gummi Bears! Grammi and Zummi realize that it isn't working so Zummi goes into his SPELL NOTES OF SATAN and casts his spell. Go bless...ERRR..I mean....Satan bless Zummi for giving me a new paragraph to work on every time he casts a spell...
Zummi: Cl-mose t-mun a-nel n-mow!
Translation: Close Tummi Annal Now!
EWWWWW Zummi! And of course he screws up the spell as thunderbolts come out of Zummi's fingers and pretty much destroy the Quick Tunnel area as Grammi and Zummi are forced to flee away. At least the spell did what it was supposed to do and that's seal the tunnel away. Sir Lazybones and his mean manage to break down the door; but the entrance is sealed with rocks. Tuxford calls it an abandoned mine shaft and tells his men to seal it up again while getting death reference #1. Why bother?! It's already sealed. I know that Lazybones is trying to put his steel working boots on today; but he's got to find better ways to do it. Gruffi storms away as Gusto tries to talk to him; but Gruffi does a really sad Grade B blowoff of Gusto's dummy plans and tells him to act like his slave as the Gruffi Dummy appears OUT OF NOWHERE and bumps into the tree which springs the trap right on top of Gruffi. Gusto asks Gruffi about his commands and Gruffi blows him off. Gruffi's not feeling it today for some reason as he demands for Gusto to get him out before the humans come back. Gusto tries to; but the humans are coming and Gusto is forced to scatter to leave Gruffi to dummy up so sezs Gusto. HA HA! This episode isn't great; but I'm loving Gusto's unintentional getting of Gruffi's goat here. Not unlike when Spongebob gets Squidwards goat which allows me to enjoy seeing Squidward get what he deserves for being such an unlikable character.
Gruffi proclaims that he is in trouble as the woodcutters arrive and see Gruffi. It looks like it is curtains on the Gummi Bears secret and who would have thought that a dummy would pull it off so sweet and sound. One of the woodcutters tells the fat one not to open up the box because he could turn him into a newt so they should return to Dumbwin. These denizens of Dumbwin are REALLY STUPID as they turn around and there is Dukie in the flesh with Gadd and Zook with him (Gadd without the goofy helmet of course) so they scatter away like scalded dogs. I think these guys know about the Gummi Bears more than they are letting on huh?! Dukie advances to the box of goodies calling the Dumbwin denizens bumpkins. Dukie taunts the trapped Gruffi as he raises the trap above Gruffi and laughs like a goof. Gusto is in the bushes and decides to spring into action as he uncorks his VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE and drinks up. It's BUTT BOUNCING TIME as he bounces right into the presence of Sir Lazybones and his knights. HUH?! Is Gusto really insane to do that?! That would be the official first time that Sir Lazybones has seen a real Gummi Bear in this series I should note. Gusto bounces some more past the woodcutter and the lady with kids of course. I don't know why he bothers since everyone minus Sir Lazybones is scared of Dukie.
We cut back as ultra-cool sidekick Toadie grabs a tied-up Gruffi over his head and taunts him like the idiot that he is. This is like shooting fish in a barrel with his moral midget ogre. Toadie brings Gruffi to Dukie in which Dukie blows off Toadie because he might damage him. Gusto appears behind the bushes and apparently; the denizens of Dumbwin is SO STUPID (so sezs Yosmite Sam) that they didn't learn how to speed up. So Gusto finds the dead Gruffi Dummy behind the bushes and decides to use it one more time. I knew THAT thing would be the plot device for the finish. Gusto slides the U lever (WRONG LEVER!) as we cut to Dukie grabbing Gruffi by the ropes and Toadie by the vest as he blows off Dukie for playing with his playthings. I guess even perverts has feelings too after all as if Glenn Beck would care. Gusto screams Tally-ho and rides on the dummy's annoying pose shoulders and he collides badly into Dukie. The three biggest fools (one funny, one stubborn, one mere fool; guess which is which by the time they land on the ground?) rise into the air and where they land I might care if he was Toadie. Gruffi lands right on Gusto as Gusto jumps from the dummy at the same time and lands on the ground with Gruffi on top of him. Nice to see Gusto getting the short end of the stick because he's the selfless most vain guy around. Toadie lands on the trap boxwhich wheels down from the pulley and lands on Dukie's pointless little head which TMS screws up a little.
Dukie falls onto the ground with a wussy bump (along with Toadie) and he breaks the wooden trap with his head. Got that? And here comes Lazybones (complete with STUPID MOB OF DUMBWIN) with sword in hand as he gets off the silliest end around of censorship I have ever heard: Leave no ogre unbruised. Yeah; it's funny if you understand why it was said. Otherwise; it's ultra lame and now Dukie is outnumbered by about one person so they run stage right like a bunch of scalded dogs. I guess Sir Tuxford was the deciding factor after all as Gusto unties Gruffi from the ropes and the kids yell out that the Gruffi Dummy is a fake of course. No wonder ever accused the denizens of Dumbwin to be very bright. Must be the narrow gene pool there. Sir Tuxford looks at the Gummi Dummy and sees it as a nasty trick pulled off by Dukie to harass the villagers into giving him the throne I guess. Gusto blows of Lazybones because it was art.
I fully agree with Gusto on this one so Gruffi takes Lazybones side basically by default as Gusto and Gruffi exit stage left into a beautiful meadow as Gusto admits that Gruffi was right and the dummy was nothing but trouble. Gruffi runs faster with Gusto as he states that Gusto's plan would have worked had it not been for Gusto not thinking things out fully. Gusto asks this as a sign of help for him and Gruffi agrees to somewhat to work out some of the bugs. Gusto then gets inspired again and decides that bugs would be a better bet. He teases the idea of more Gummi Dummies; but then settles on the bug idea as Gruffi doesn't want to hear any more yelling at Gusto. HA HA! I'm sure Ace London is watching this episode for notes as we fade to black to end the episode at 10:45. A few minor mistakes aside; I loved this episode because it provided more than enough entertainment for me. Very little involvement of Dukie and lots of screwing Gruffi and Lazybones. Gusto is such a maniac and that's the way I like him. Don't ever change my good bear . **** 1/2 ( 60%)
Snows Your Old Man: We begin this one with an awesome limited animation shot of a snowy forest as this is the first episode in DTVA to have a true season change in Gummi Glenn. This pretty much suggests that Dunwyn is in a northern climate region not unlike Europe. We then see in the distance Arte Deco struggling to fly through the snowstorm. This officially makes Gusto look sane in comparison do you not think? His flying is all for naught as he collided with a tree branch and does the first recorded Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot in DTVA into the snow. That's pretty fitting as Arte figures that walking would be a better bet. So we head to the snowy shot of Gummi Glenn as we head to the living room. Gruffi has now put in the last of the firewood and states that if spring doesn't show up they will have to be breaking some wooden chairs apparently...and it will put a dent into the Gummi Berry harvest. I guess God isn't happy with all of Zummi's spell casting at Gummi Glenn. Gusto of course responds to that with his usual vanity comments. Grammi is in her chair drinking coca and wearing a lot of clothes blowing off Gusto for spring being a touch late. The crack Disney Captions teams of course misses the by now words she said. See; by now they should be knee deep in sunshine and Gummi Berry blossoms. I told you God was mad at Zummi; so why not blame him?
Of course they aren't card carrying members of Ed Brayton's Dispatch From The Culture Wars. It's a joke you sick freaks! Gusto then starts hugging Grammi like a vain person should because it's time to spend some time with loved ones. And then here comes the kids as Cubbi, Sunni and Tummi are bouncing in the living room. I can see the Cabin Fever symptoms getting worse as I speak now. Gruffi is REALLY PISSED now as the cabin fever is making Sunni and Cubbi bump into the walls in such a wussy fashion. They are playing bouncing tag which is enough for Gruffi to step as we get the really intentional shot of his butt. This Toonzone troll does have a point here as Gruffi calls for a halt as Sunni and Cubbi bump into each other in a fun way which can only be done with the ROIDED JUICE OF DOOM. Then Tummi slides in safe as he collides into Sunni, Cubbi and Gruffi and they slide to an off-screen MAN-SIZED bump into the wall. Gusto calls this family togetherness as Grammi is a little confused at that spot. Me thinks Gusto is crazy. Me knows Gruffi thinks he is. Gruffi lies there tapping his fingers and sulking as usual as he is on the bottom of Tummi of course. We cut to the snow field outside on a tree as Arte Deco is covered with snow and walking like a penguin..Sort of...Arte is looking for the trap door and finds it and slides down the steps just as Gruffi is blowing off the kids for messing with his life basically. After they clean up the mess; they must spend two days in their rooms. Huh?!
Here's a few problems with this: One; they didn't make a mess at all as there is nothing on the floor; second, why? Because they bounced onto Gruffi. It's normal kid behavior and Gruffi's tough as nails blow off to me sounds so mean here. This is pretty contrived as a whole if you ask me. Even Cubbi's complaining about it so you know it's BS. Tummi apologizes as Grammi defends the kids because Gruffi is being such a meanie. Gruffi blames the weather for the cabin fever. I blame the upbringing myself. Gusto of course blows it off because it's just a few snowflakes. Thankfully; he cannot be jettisoned for that comment because he's as over as he is vain. Gusto swears on his bloody honor that the sky is not falling which is greeted with the conveniently placed bird trap door opening and Arte Deco whacking Gusto in the back of the head and they fall to the ground in a decent bump. HA HA! Gusto admits that he could be wrong as Grammi is more concerned with Artie Deco's beak being frozen. Artie states that it's a cold beak and a warm heart. I guess James Barber met him from somewhere which Gruffi blows Artie off for having an empty head. Although that would easily explain Gusto very well. Grammi takes Artie Deco over to the chair and feeds him warm coca which causes his beak to return to Sea Duck form. Whew..and I almost fought Baloo would have a polar bear episode there.
Anyhow; the babyfaces notices a plant spring which Artie was apparently holding (although we don't see it until now) stating that everywhere else in Dunwyn; it is officially spring and it is only winter in Gummi Glenn. Gruffi blows off Gusto's suggestion of bad weather because something is really wrong here as we go to the far shot of the living room for no reason. So we cut to the hallway as Tummi, Cubbi and Sunni exchange notes on the situation. Cubbi then decides to do the whole cool thing to do: Find spring outside. So he goes into the closet and we cut to the icy Quick Tunnel as Cubbi, Sunni and Tummi are in their winter outfits which are not only cool; but warm and functional as well. Sunni gets the green coat; what a shock and Cubbi gets the crimson red one. Tummi gets the boring brown one which shows that sometimes Tummi has no real taste of fashion. They get into the Quick Car and complain about the cold as Cubbi pulls the lever and we get the fastest Quick Tunnel sequence in history. It just looks ultra- weird with all the ice around as Tummi is panicky about ten seconds in because the Quick Car is heading onto the lake which is completely frozen and that causes the Quick Car to spin out of control.
Nice touch from the animators in that spot; along with the writers in general. This sequence ends with the Quick Car going backwards and into the darkness as Sunni complains that she cannot see. Snow blindness can be a nasty minister can it Miss Teenybopper?! And then logic break #1 rears it's ugly head as the Quick Car is now driving the opposite way and they go right through the cave which is left wide open for no reason whatsoever other than to give the kids a safer bump to ride on. Although the icicles don't help the safety all that much and they plow through into the forest and the Quick Car continues to ride onto the snow now. Now the kids can practice their bobsledding as they lean to keep the Quick Car from bashing into a tree. However; the bobsled goes into an area where it is spring time in full bloom and the Quick Car grinds to a halt while managing to avoid damage whatsoever. Sunni and Cubbi look in awe as Artie Deco was correct about the situation. We get the spring pan side shot in that sequence as the kids get out of the Quick Car and wonders who's responsible for this and there is someone laughing their butts off as we see a funny Corey Burton version of Odin arrive to gleefully ask Tummi if he wants more snow. Sadly; he's not Odin; he's Chillbeard because it he were the real Odin; he wouldn't be using his snowhorn to make the new area fill with snow and winter. The real Odin would use Spiritual Lancer to MURDER those bears for his bread.
Just for Fun Rant #2: If Gummi Bears could perform attacks like in Valkyrie Profile than here are the attacks they would do (the VP names are not spelled right; I don't have time to go through and check them):
Cavin:
Round Lip Saber (Lucian's Ougi)
Tuxford:
Final Blast/Justice Stream (Arginim/Lawfer Ougi)
Sunni:
Layer Storm (Lewythen Ougi)
Cubbi:
Crimson Curse (A corruption of Brahams' Bloody Curse Ougi)
Ursila:
Hirst's Nibuleung Valesti (Hirst's Shingi)
Zummi:
Grand Trigger/Ifrit Caress/ Calmity Blast (Barbossa GM, Surt's GM,
Lezard GM VP2)
Unwin:
Soul Evocation
Gruffi:
Flashing Blade (Karshell's Ougi)
Grammi:
Dreaded Dragon (Aly's Secret Skill)
Gusto:
Sublime Horn
Tummi:
Sphere Strike (Badrach's Ougi)
Thornberry:
Ether Strike (Freya's Shingi)
Chillbeard:
Spiritual Lancer (Odin's Shingi)
Duke
Igthorn: Meteor
Swarm/Dragon Orb (Lezard's final GM/Loki's Shingi)
Princess
Calla: Acilea's
Nibuleung Valesti (Acilea's Ougi)
Lady
Bane: All Grand Magics
in both Valkyrie Profile games.
If I was remaking the series; the ending would involve Cavin being killed by Igthorn (or by Lady Bane) and then Cubbi gets so emotional that he basically releases Valkyrie's version of Nibuleung Valesti at the end boss of Valkyrie Profile 2 and then die due to using up his life to stop the evil. He and Cavin go on to become angel knights for Valhalla. Of course; that would involve adding some form of Norse mythology into the mix. Sadly; I got sidetracked so back to the rant. That snow horn looks like a badly designed flashlight as Chillbeard basically turns the whole area into winter again. Sunni is scared as she wants answers and Chillbeard gleefully gives them to her. He is the lord of winter and master of the north wind. Sunni is relieved to hear that as she asks him about being winter somewhere else. Sign of a teenybopper: Not being able to phrase the sentences properly so that you make clear sense of what you are trying to say.
Chillbeard doesn't know; but he knows that he is a selfish being who can do whatever he wants and he'll keep it winter right here and right now forevermore. All gods have that attitude problem; must be the jealousy factor. Chillbeard rumbles of course which allows icicles to fall down which miss Tummi by a country mile. The animators have got to do a better job in cutting it close. Tummi thinks the rumbling is resonable. Chillbeard now wants to play with the Gummi Bears and Tummi goes into his usual literal mode so it is countered with an elbow to the ribs by Sunni. Why? Tummi didn't say anything wrong....DIVA! Sunni whisper yells that they will play his little game until they get the snow horn from Chillbeard. Memo to future voice actor: if you are going to whisper; do it with a much quieter tone next time; otherwise you get exposed as you see right here. Tummi asks what fun Chillbeard has in mind. I don't think they are going to love the answer here...
We cut to behind a snowbank as Cubbi is now complaining about his throat. Nice to see someone can speak better than most human beings nowadays. They are of course playing War In The Snow Fort as the kids are making snowballs as their devious plan to get the snow horn away from Chillbeard. Sunni the diva wants to throw the snowballs while Tummi and Cubbi do the hard part and steal the horn. I guess Sunni considers Tummi's throwing skills to be too slow. Tummi wants to vote; but Chillbeard interrupts that because he's ready to MURDER them and the kids foolishly get into position to nail him with snowballs. Sadly; Chillbeard made the ice fort and he invokes his snow horn to invoke a snowball big enough to MURDER them into a snowy tomb. Chillbeard laughs his butt off on that spot. Sunni, Sunni, Sunni did you honestly think that beating a guy in his own element was going to be easy you little diva?! The kids pop up and Cubbi gleefully blows off Sunni for her obviously stupid MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN. I love Cubbi's sarcasm on that moment.
So we cut to the kids on a hill with Chillbeard as he wants to show them the new sport in the world of Asgard called skiing. I guess he was the one who was supposed to teach Goofy how to ski; but he was unavailable due to Walt's apparent hate with anything related to the divine world or pagan world depending on your point of view. The skis and ski poles are made of icicles for you big fat information (God condemn Stacy Stickler from Stickin Around. Another show that must come to DVD just for my sick pleasure). And of course; it's ladies first so Sunni is first down the track of course much to her protests. I think he should have pushed Cubbi first since he's a child. That would imply that Sunni is a lady see which she hardly is. Sunni slides down the hill and somehow keeps straight during the entire process. I guess TMS is too lazy to animate her in any struggle today as Chillbeard goes down next. I guess Chillbeard is a child see which pretty much gives away the finish in advance. That leaves Cubbi and Tummi on top of the hill as Cubbi has a plan of his own. Cubbi uses an ice ball to unfreeze his boots which are stuck to the ice skis. Tummi attempts to do that; but Cubbi stops him because he needs them. See; Cubbi gets onto Tumm's neck ala Kit and Mogwli on Baloo's shoulders and they are going to use the element of surprise to grab the horn from Chillbeard. This plan is a million times better than Sunni's plan. Sadly; Cubbi's plan is already broken as Chillbeard and Sunni have already stopped at the bottom and Chillbeard turns around to see where Cubbi and Tummi are.
Cubbi and Tummi ski down the hill and try to grab the horn; but Chillbeard sees that one and raises the horn up. Chillbeard doesn't like that trick; so he invokes the horn to create an icy slope beneath Tummi's skis and it's SKI JUMP TIME! Tummi jumps off the ICE SKI RAMP OF DEATH and they fall right into the deep snow. And since there is lots of fluffy snow present (about four feet by my count); there is no bump present. Finally; a no bump spot that makes sense. Sun Woo should be ashamed of themselves for using that in Summer with DARKWING...DUCK. Cubbi pops up along with Tummi as Chillbeard calls them out for stealing his wind horn. The kids lie to him of course and Sunni comes out and states that she's had enough of this. Where is Bubbles when you REALLY NEED HIM Sunni Gummi?! Chillbeard is REALLY PISSED now (and I do mean PISSED) as he invokes the horn and freezes a snowy tree and it shatters into a million pieces. Tummi thinks Chillbeard doesn't want to hear about spring anymore as Sunni is out of idea. Tummi doesn't have one of his own as he puts his hat out and some snow covers him. Cubbi then has his latest plan: Play snow bears. This should be good as we cut to the kids going over to Chillbeard and daring him to play a game without using his horn. Chillbeard accepts the dare like a really dumb kid. That pretty much gives away the finish right there. Sunni suggest that they play hide and seek and Chillbeard accepts it as he puts his horn right on top of the tree and starts counting. The Gummi Bears hide as Chillbeard gets to five and then starting cheating as he starts at fifty now.
I think we know who this Chillbeard really is. We cut over to the kids putting their winter clothes on the snow bears that they made as Sunni is complaining about the cold. Cubbi nicely blows it off because this will give them the horn. Chillbeard stops counting and starts looking for them. Chillbeard thinks he knows where they are as he walks away. The kids pop up from the snowbank and have a clear path to the horn. However; it's too high to reach so Cubbi suggests bouncing as he uncorks his VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE; but it's frozen solid. FINALLY! An episode where they are forced to use cunning instead of their crutch. Now that's a quality screwjob as they say. We cut over to Chillbeard grabbing the snow bears and of course he gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY that he is screwed as we cut back to the tree as the kids use the old faithful three person ladder spot to grab the horn and Cubbi is nowhere near grabbing the horn as Chillbeard grabs the Gummi Bears and he's not very happy with this deception.
Of course if Zummi had his fire spell; this episode would be OVER in about five minutes flat; however, that would involve killing Chillbeard and Disney's not going to allow that. Chillbeard doesn't like the treason these children did so he puts them into an ice cage to freeze them to death. What a sadist?! Cubbi has one more MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and it's to use the VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE to bounce out. Sunni is getting tired of Cubbi's failed plan. Maybe if you grew six more inches; you would have got the horn by now. Cubbi's plan to use the obvious crutch: warm themselves up which would unfreeze the juice. So they warm themselves in silly jumping. In real life this would NEVER WORK THIS WELL THIS FAST. Then again; cartoon fuzzy logic works in really silly ways. We cut over to Chillbeard looking at the winter clothes wondering why the Gummi Bears would turn on him.
Hey freezejack; they hate winter and want you to go away. They care about their family not freezing to death. You heard?! Chillbeard hears the huffing from the kids and walks back to the ice cage. The kids try the VIAL OF ROIDED JUICE and it still isn't warm enough; so Cubbi shakes the vial and it manages to flow a little juice out and it's BUTT BOUNCING TIME! They bounces out of the ground and manage to bounce underneath Chillbeard completely and back up from behind him. Great snow spot there as they grab the horn and bounce away. However; Chillbeard isn't going to let that happen easily as he invokes the giant snowball and bounces it right on the kids. YOU HEARTLESS CERTIN. Okay; the kids bounce out safely and the horn starts up and they rocket around like a balloon buzzing around when the air comes out from the butt end of it. Chillbeard tries to grab it; but the WINDS OF ICY DEATH manage to hold Chillbeard back for a change. How do you like your medicine now Frosty Butt?! The kids fly around and then free fall right onto the ground with the horn firing on full blast! Tummi proclaims that it will bury all of Dumbwin.
However; the real finish kicks in as the real Chillbeard arrives on his icy chariot with four Ice Fernirs. I should point out that I intentionally named Corey Burton as Chillbeard Jr's name wrong because it was really Brian Cummings doing Chillbeard Junior's voice and therefore it would give away the finish well in advance. Chillbeard Sr. (voiced by Corey Burton) jumps from his chariot and grabs his horn to stop it from blowing any more snow in this episode.. Hopefully..He lifts the kids onto his hand and grabs Chillbeard Junior by the cape and blows him off for being a foolish son and literally blows off his fake snow beard pretty officially showing what kind of devious kid he really is. Sunni wants answers and Chillbeard gives them as Tummi doesn't like the answers he's giving. However; Chillbeard is more upset with junior since he stole the hornwithout his permission of course and he's going to get a little talk after this episode is over. You are SO BUSTED JUNIOR! Chillbeard lets down the kids and tells them that spring will get anything back to normal.
He also asks for any request since Junior was such a bad boy as compensation. Sunni does have one thing in mind as we cut to Gusto, Gruffi and Grammi looking around the lake as the snow is melting and spring is slowly coming back. This is the first time I have heard the word freak used in DTVA I should note from Gusto. Artie Deco blows off the normal stuff because there are flying polar bears present as the adult bears look up and see Chillbeard's chariot as he creates an ice slide for the kid Gummi's to slide down. Chillbeard and Junior fly away for that little pep talk that will probably end in misery for junior if you know what I mean. The kids slide down onto the still frozen lake as the adult bears wonder where they were. Cubbi states that it's a long story which of course ends with Tummi cracking a really funny pun which earns him about a dozen snowballs into the face. When is Tummi ever going to learn not to do puns at the end of the episode?! Tummi protests this as we go to circle fade to black to end the episode at 10:47. Another good short; mainly because of they finally managed to show that the Gummi Bears are nothing without their juice and of course everyone was pretty awesome in this one. Sadly; there were too many cues which indicated what the finish was going to be; marring the episode quality. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
As we near the end of Volume One of the Gummi Bears; the shorts are getting better as a result. I really liked Close Encounters of the Gummi Kind here as the whole Gruffi Dummy thing was really funny once you realize that all of the jokes are mostly as the expense of Gruffi who has been a really annoying character in spite of his good performance. He needed a foil who was as annoying; but really vain to build sympathy heat and Gusto played that part to the hilt. I also love the whole idea Gusto had which was honestly well thought out; except for one small detail. Of course; the dummy doesn't look like anything like a real Gummi Bear, but the Dunwyn denizen are not exactly bright and the writers pretty much assured that it would be a character design. Dukie's presence was limited to a few scenes and he played them well. While Igthorn might have no heat left against the Gummi Bears; he still has enough heat with the humans so at least it won't be a complete fall from grace as I thought it would be. Toadie was is usual self and of course the animation was good.
In Snow's Your Old Man; this was a fun episode where the Gummi kids tried everything to stop Chillbeard Jr. but they forget that who they were dealing with and was forced to return to their crutch which is Gummi Berry Juice to get the horn away and defeat Chillbeard Jr. Sadly; there were a few too many ways to tell who the Gummi's were dealing with and that made the finish very predictable which was Chillbeard Sr. arriving to get his horn back. There were also a few animation errors; but nothing major. And Sunni of course got the honor of having the worst plans and Cubbi had the honor of having the best plans that were screwed up. Tummi got his usual performance in of course including the ending with the snowballs in the face. When will he ever learn not to do deadpan humor as his last spot because he knows he is going to get pelted. All in all; two very good short. Next up; the only episode of the season to have Cavin in it and a short with Sunni's second attempt to keep a pet. So....
Thumbs up for both episodes and I'll see you all next time.