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Gargoyles: A Lighthouse In The Sea Of Time
Reviewed: 08/17/2013
Hudson Trying To Read? Am I Watching Teddy Ruxpin Again?
Well kiddies; we have our first episode with Macbeth returning as he wants to steal something while Hudson stays behind to learn the joys of reading with an unlikely person that if you have watched the show I did for the Father's Day Specials; you'll do a double take. Even bigger double take if you remember Gummi Bears too. So let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Michael Reaves, Lydia Marano & Brynne Stephens. Animation is done by Sunwoo Animation. Oh dear; after Metamorphosis, this isn't a good sign.
Opening Moment #1: Wanna bet that the recap is from Enter Macbeth? I thought you would know. Sadly; they miss the best part of it when MacBeth proclaimed that he named Demona.
We begin this one with a closeup shot of an owl perched on a branch of the tree with the moon in the background. The owl flies around as we zoom out and pan west to a cave with the entrance surrounded by spotlights. Then we head inside as two humans in outfitter's gear with flashlight are crawling around and looking inside. The female one with glasses on is addressed as Duane by the male explorer (B.J. Ward) as the male guy is wearing an Indiana Jones hat and has red hair with a mustache. We finally end up inside an abandoned room which looks like a witch's cave; which includes a harp that is still playing on a sill for no reason. Duane dusts off a CHEST OF DEMONS and reads the inscription that this is Celtic in nature and it says "The seeker of knowledge need fear nothing here. The destroyer, everything." Ooookkkkaaayyyy; that makes sense. I think. Anyhow; Duane opens the chest and there is a lot of blue energy waves that touch the two researchers; then create an image of Ramuh/Merlin before going into the chest again. Duane slowly opens it and we see some steam; but inside are about a half dozen scrolls from Merlin according to the male researcher. We return to inside the clock tower AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Al Khan has a mass scale heart attack and dies. No, not really. However; check out all the book reading dudes and dudettes. So we find out that the scrolls of Marlin will be shown at the Metropolitan Museum for further study as I discover that Lexington is a book worm. Brooklyn is reading Tempo while Lex is reading a cyan blue magazine as Lex wonders if Merlin really wrote those scrolls. Apparently, Merlin was born about 400 years before the Magus and was a white wizard. Goliath proclaims that Brooklyn can learn more by going to the police library (which is not smart because; you know police in NYC never sleep); but Broadway is eating like Tummi and blowing off books because they are marks on a page. Lexington blows him off while playing tug of war with Bronx as Broadway proclaims that he can't read and isn't missing anything. Wow; I can fully see Patrick Star and Broadway now and the only difference is Patrick is a star and Broadway is not. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
Brooklyn proclaims that ignorance is truly bliss; only instead of being directed at Broadway, it's at Hudson. Hudson is watching Celebrity Hockey and tells Bronx to come over here. I see they are trying to sell hockey two years early. It doesn't work of course. Eliza leaves because she has to be part of the scrolls escort team with Matt Bluestone. Goliath wonders what the scrolls contain and Eliza claims it's magic spells causing a closeup of Goliath's face as if to say that those scrolls are in danger or something. So we head out to sea with two tanker ships together as a small boat transports between them and then the left ship bails. That looked choppier than the choppy waves in this scene. We see Duane greet Eliza and Matt as they are climbing onto the ship and then a far shot of the ship on the choppy waves and then inside the captain's house as Duane shows Eliza and Matt the scrolls. Speaking of Sunwoo's animation creditability streak: We had a half dozen scrolls shown in the first shot; now it's down to two big ones. UGH! They are under glass as we see a sea captain in the background who has Macbeth's beard. Hmm; you don't suppose? Okay; so they look in awe as we see a brown haired radar guy seeing three green specks on the radar coming from the northeast as we cut to outside and see two jet planes shooting blue lasers at the ship's windows which Eliza orders everyone to duck and everyone does as glass shatters everywhere; which in any other reality would have cut the denizens inside and blood would be pouring. This kind of renders the blood in two previous episodes to be pointless middle fingers at BS&P do you not think? So Duane sells a headache and then sells being knocked out as Eliza puts her underneath the console. That was weird. The captain of the HMS Churchill sneaks over to the transmitter and calls for a mayday as we see all the gargoyles (minus Bronx) in the sky as Hudson proclaims that he was right in thinking that those jets belong to Xanatos. Wait; how did Goliath deduce that? Xanatos isn't the only rich man in the world you know. Lexington calls the jets; harrier jets because they land like helicopters. And Lexington is a bookworm.
Broadway blows it off because when life is this exciting; who needs books? God; and we accuse modern cartoons of this crap? I also realized that the sea captain is not MacBeth and his bear turned from white to brown when he went for the transmitter. So the harrier jets land and two guys who look like Owen and Hyena only with laser guns and shades. And you thought Fry was overexposed in Rescue Rangers? Actually; it's funny since both fandoms have some of the most vocal fans in the history of DTVA. I'm amazed TaleSpin fans haven't stooped to their low. Yet. Boy; I was PISSED about some forum member on Capcom's Unity forums as someone suggested giving Gummi Bears a game to right the wrong from the NES era. I don't think it is going to happen since that requires building the game from the ground up even if you keep the Ducktales engine; but I'm not blaming him for asking for one since Gummi Bears is a safe series to create a game on. Heck; making it a RPG would be ever better. However; a responder on the forum blew him off and basically said that anyone who picks anything but Gargoyles has brain damage. THAT pissed me off! It was completely ablest on his part and considering that this poster uses the lead character from House MD; it is quite fitting. I love how he responds after the Gummi Bears poster claimed Gargoyles is overrated; which is perfectly true. Here's a clue fans: Overrated does NOT equal BAD! It just means that the public as a whole has overestimated the quality of the show. You can still have an overrated show and it could still be great. Gargoyles that kind of show. The response to that is one of the worst memes in history and in TaleSpin's case it was: Bears Flying In Airplanes equals rejected. Seriously. Okay; first off: If Gargoyles gets a game first, GREAT!! It deserves one and I would play it in a heart beat. Like I am going to do with Ducktales Remastered. However; Gargoyles is only slightly a safer choice than TaleSpin is considering Disney's new values over the last five years or so.
Second; to imply that bears in airplanes was rejected is idiotic because to say that implies that the Disney execs rejected that show in the first place. In other words; to this poster, TaleSpin never existed. It was a conspiracy created by me because it looks like a real Walt Disney animated production; instead of a Disney Television Animation product. Yeah sure it was. Not only was it approved by the Disney brass; got toys and FIVE different video games; it went the 65 episode limit and got ratings which were tied with Tiny Toon Adventures, despite the fact that Disney's marketing department and marketing of the show was an absolute joke. So the show was a success. I still to this day say when I see people praise TaleSpin: How the f*** did Disney screw this show up? Disney should be ashamed for themselves for being dumbasses in thinking that bashing Warner Brothers was a good idea and not spending more time promoting the new show that had no track record and getting THAT over instead of the entire block of three shows that already had proven track records and got over! Also; I noticed the ablest asshole talked about Fluppy Dogs being rejected. It sure was; by CREATIVE! They didn't want it; but it got green lit anyway because Disney's brass overruled them. Thankfully it was rejected by the fans and died after one pilot episode that only I seem to know about. The Wuzzles barely last 13 episodes; Raw Toonage only 12! Rescue Rangers lasted 65 episodes and was on the ablest' approved list. And that one is a lot more overrated than Gargoyles is. So I think the Gummi Bears poster has a point and while I have no beef with a new Gargoyles game, the House MD poster can kindly go die in a fire. If that is the attitude of the majority of Gargoyles fans; then grow the hell up! Gargoyles was NOT beating Batman: The Animated Series in the ratings; otherwise it would still be going on today, albeit with a lot more comedy. And for those who spew the meme that the most episodes win the quality game: Gargoyles went 78 episodes; but even the most casual of Gargoyles fans say it's 65 episodes like TaleSpin. Ummm; Goliath Chronicles doesn't exist in their world is what I'm saying. Okay; enough of the bashing, let's continue on with the rant shall we...?!
So the Owen and Hyena look-a-like shoot like crazy and break the door down as it flies into Matt's face; but the camera quickly cuts to Eliza before it makes contact. Sigh. Eliza fights with Owen look-a-like; but is taken down. I wonder if this episode was originally supposed to have THE PACK~ in it? Although; I do admit that having Owen as Guile from Street Fighter 2 would have been MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. So Hyena look a like is about to shoot Duane who does the absolute stupid thing of grabbing the scrolls; but she stops because Duane yells at her. So she puts the gun away and then leg sweeps Duane and the scrolls go flying. Owen and Hyena look-a-likes grab them and bail to the harrier jets. They go inside the harrier jets as I have now concede that the Hyena look-a-like is Fleance since B.J. Ward is voicing her. They do some nice continuity with the red switches showing off red smoke when the planes take off and then Hudson grabs onto the Owen look-a-like jet cockpit window and crushes the glass. So we play jet flying, scroll bumping for a while as Goliath and the rest of the babyfaces fly around dodging blue laser fire while Eliza is outside yelling at Goliath that they have the scrolls. Laughable continuity error: When Broadway is grabbing onto the second jet; Fleance looks like the Owen look-a-like. GAUGH! So Hudson finally grabs the scroll on the floor; but since he touched the plane; the Owen look-a-like pushes a button which causes the whole plane to spark. Logic break: Only Hudson oversells it and flies into the ocean below. Wait; if the cockpit window has been shattered; then the electric sparks should have shocked the human pilot as well. Bad, bad logic break there guys! The babyfaces chase the heels northeast as Hudson floats up and it completely out with the scroll in his hand going to the west and none of the babyfaces even notice him. Pfffft; whatever guys!
So we head to the docks as four police cars arrives on the docks and Matt Bluestone is taking notes while Duane continues to insist that it could be anyone since the scrolls are wanted by everyone. Eliza practices the fine art of not being seen as she bails behind the crates as we see Goliath, Lexington, and Brooklyn brooding around. Goliath calls the scrolls too tempting as Eliza claims that Xanatos is behind this right away. Wow; Xanatos really has an effect on her now after what happened to Derek a couple of episodes ago. Sadly; she has no evidence and without it; Goliath claims that it falls on the gargoyles. It makes sense from a certain perspective if the gargoyles were already exposed; but that hasn't happened yet. So we head to a shore line as we see Hudson lying on his belly with one of the scrolls slowly waking up. We see that he's landed in front of a house with a brick gate littered with cat like gargoyles. Oookkkkaaayyyy. Hudson tries to walk about four or five steps; but then plops on the ground appearing to be dead. So we head to a castle as the harrier jet go around the back as there is a huge garage door opening which contains a jet hanger. The harrier jets land as Fleance hops out of the plane while the Owen look-a-like is mocked. I have now concluded that the Owen look-a-like is voiced by Frank Welker; so it's either Banquo or Gilgamesh. Probably Banquo as he is concerned about losing the scroll more than damage to his plane. Fleance proclaims that the boss will have him for dinner with a spoon. That doesn't sound all that gruesome. Even cutting with dull scissors and sewing with dull needles that Don Karnage threatened to do to Baloo was a lot more gruesome. Banquo claims that they are still one for two as Broadway practices the fine art of not being seen in the foreground as he has the scroll. The two henchmen turn around and there's a hole on the side of Fleance's jet. HA! When the Tummi Patrick Star voice outclasses you; you know you suck as henchmen.
So we head to Castle Wyvern and in David Xanatos' office as Owen Burnett is typing on the computer on the northeast side of the office for no reason. He turns around as there is rumbling and the doors fling wide open as Goliath, Brooklyn and Lexington enter without knocking, as usual. Goliath demands to know where Hudson and Broadway are, but Owen has no idea. Goliath demands that they take them there as Owen checks his tablet and in one of those "What were the writers and animators thinking?" moments; he claims that he cannot do that in the most cheeriest voice I have ever heard. WHAT THE HELL?! Goliath and company turn around and leave proclaiming that they'll find them themselves as we get a closeup of Owen smiling. Yeah; way to go, you killed the whole ironic point of Owen's character. There better be a good reason for it; or else. So we head back to the hanger inside the castle as Banquo and Fleance look in oil barrels while Broadway continues to hide away. Sadly; he makes too much noise flying over the stuff as Fleance and Banquo turn around and have ther guns pointed. Another logic break: Broadway went over everything in one shot; but when he springs the oil barrels to tackle down the henchmen; he's behind the oil barrels and there is at least one boxed crate behind him undamaged. Broadway bails stage left and crumbles through the hanger door. He tries to bail; but stops at the sound of a familiar voice as we see Macbeth finally walk into view. Which begs the question: How did he rebuild his castle quickly? Or how did he find a new one? Either question is valid at this point as Broadway is horrified in the rain storm and that ends the segment 10 minutes in. I just realized that I missed a logic break: I said that the babyfaces noticed Broadway on one of the jet planes? So logically, they should go after them right? Well; instead of going after them; or appearing to go after them, the gargoyles minus Hudson and Broadway are at the docks in NYC with Eliza. WHY?! That makes no sense! This episode is dying before my eyes here and we aren't even halfway through! Am I watching Gargoyles or a bad Darkwing Duck episode here?
After the commercial break; we continue with Broadway defending the scroll with his bloody honor against Macbeth. This is not going to end well for either guy in this fight. For Broadway; it's his health, for Macbeth, his reputation as a badass. Seriously; curb-stomping a Tummi gargoyle who looks like Patrick Star makes you look like a geek. So they talk; Broadway charges as Macbeth grabs him and spins him into the hanger door and Broadway impacts it. Broadway falls into the mud despite the fact that the road was paved as Macbeth taunts him as Broadway goes into white eyes mode. Macbeth praises his courage; but he doesn't have a prayer and throws one pearl which emits green smoke as Broadway coughs like mad and then teases a no sell; and then drops dead. MacBeth steals the golden case and opens it to reveal two scrolls. Okay; that makes more sense; but there should be THREE cases instead of two because I'm dead certain there were six scrolls instead of four. Macbeth than proclaims that the scrolls were sealed by his own hand. So he was around since 600 AD? Huh? Am I missing something here? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! So he reads the scroll and they only have the second and final scroll which Macbeth declares useless and dangerous without the first scroll. My head hurts here because why should the first scroll matter? Unless they are teaching you how to do magic before the advance spells; but otherwise, it makes no sense. Macbeth demands to know where the first scroll is and we cut to the bricked gated house as Hudson is slowly waking up as a dog licks Hudson's face. We then discover that the owner is an African American man in a blue sweater and blue jeans wearing dark shades as it's clear to everyone and their dog that the man is visually impaired....
...And for those of you who have followed my rants over the years; you'll know that this exact same plot device was used in The Adventures of Gummi Bears in the episode What You See Is Me which was Tummi Gummi helping a blind woman from being robbed by Toadie and Duke Igthorn. And on a somewhat related note; I have now realized why Duke Igthorn hates being called Dukie too. I discovered through the Johnny Test reviews on TV.com that the talking dog in that show is named Dukie and is basically a BS&P word meaning turd or poop. In other words; the ogres have been unintentionally saying that Igthorn is poopy. Yes! I'm serious about this. I didn't even realize the insult until now. Thankfully for Gargoyles; the Seven Year Rule for that gimmick has expired, so it's all good. There is bigger problems with this episode than a redo plot line from 1986 believe me! So the black man asks Hudson if he needs a doctor and Hudson states that he only needs a place to heal before sunrise. He asks if he can lean on him and the black man agrees. If this were a white man doing it; it would be decried as racist even if the man was seriously injured like Hudson is right now. Hudson proclaims that he can give little in return over than a thank you. The man proclaims that this is payment in full and we discover that this name is Jeffrey Robins as he helps Hudson towards the house. Jeffrey Robins is voiced by the late Paul Winfield (passed away in 2004) and according to IMDB: Signifying intelligence, eloquence, versatility and quiet intensity, one of the more important, critically-acclaimed black actors to gain a Hollywood foothold in the 1970s was Paul Winfield. Born in 1939 in Portland, Oregon, he lived there in his early years before moving with his family to Los Angeles' Watts district. He showed early promise as a student at Manual Arts High School, earning distinction with several performance awards. As a senior, he earned his first professional acting job and extended his theatrical education with a two-year scholarship to the University of Portland in Oregon. Subsequent scholarships led to his studies at Stanford and Los Angeles City College, among other colleges.
He left UCLA just six credits short of his BA degree. Paul's first big break came in 1964 when actor/director Burgess Meredith gave him a role in Le Roi Jones' controversial one-act play "The Dutchman and the Toilet." Director Meredith cast him again four years in "The Latent Heterosexual" with Zero Mostel. Although he won a contract at Columbia Pictures in 1966 and built up his on-camera career with a succession of TV credits, he continued to focus on the legitimate stage. A member of the Stanford Repertory Theater, he concentrated on both classic and contemporary plays. In 1969 Paul joined the Inner City Cultural Center Theater in Los Angeles for two years, which offered a drama program for high school students. In the late 60s Paul redirected himself back to performing on TV and in films with guest work in more than 40 shows on the small screen, including a boyfriend role on the first season of the landmark black sitcom "Julia" (1968) starring Diahann Carroll. In films he was given a featured part in the Sidney Poitier starer The Lost Man (1969), and earned comparable roles in R.P.M. (1970) and Brother John (1971) before major stardom occurred. 1972 proved to be a banner year for Paul after winning the male lead opposite Cicely Tyson in the touching classic film Sounder (1972). His towering performance as a sharecropper who is imprisoned and tortured for stealing a ham for his impoverished family earned him an Oscar nomination for "Best Actor" -- the third black actor (Sidney Poitier and James Earl Jones preceded him) to receive such an honor at the time. From there a host of films and quality TV picture roles began arriving on his doorstep. In mini movies, Paul portrayed various historical/entertainment giants including Thurgood Marshall, Don King and baseball's Roy Campanella, and was Emmy-nominated for his portrayal of Martin Luther King, Jr. in "King" (1978) with "Sounder" co-star Cicely Tyson as wife Coretta.
Throughout the 70s and 80s he earned solid distinction in such prestige projects as "Backstairs at the White House" (1979), "Roots: The Next Generations" (1979) (another Emmy nomination), The Sophisticated Gents (1981) (TV), "The Blue and the Gray" (1982), Sister, Sister (1982) (TV), James Baldwin's "American Playhouse: Go Tell It on the Mountain (#4.5)" (1985), Under Siege (1986) (TV) and The Women of Brewster Place (1989) (TV). Although the big screen did not offer the same consistent quality following his breakthrough with "Sounder," he nevertheless turned in strong roles in Conrack (1974), Huckleberry Finn (1974), A Hero Ain't Nothin' But a Sandwich (1978) (again with Ms. Tyson), Damnation Alley (1977), Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) and White Dog (1982). Paul never achieved the promise of a Sidney Poitier-like stardom and his roles diminished in size. Relegated to character roles, he still appeared in such quality TV as Breathing Lessons (1994) (TV), although he was not the major focus. After two nominations, he finally won the Emmy for a guest performance as a judge on "Picket Fences." Paul's showier work at this period of time included the film Catfish in Black Bean Sauce (1999) and a surprise cross-dressing cameo as Aunt Matilda in Relax... It's Just Sex (1998). On stage he graced such productions as "Richard III" (at New York's Lincoln Center Theatre), "Othello," "The Merry Wives of Windsor," "The Seagull," "A Few Good Men," "Happy Endings" and "Checkmates," which became his sole Broadway credit. Paul also served as Artist in Residence at the University of Hawaii and subsequently at the University of California at Santa Barbara. In his final years he narrated the A&E crime series "City Confidential" (1998), appeared as a teacher in a TV adaptation of his earlier success Sounder (2003) (TV), and enjoyed a recurring role as Sam for many years on the series "Touched by an Angel" (1994).
Suffering from obesity and diabetes in later life, Paul passed away from a heart attack at age 62 in 2004, and was survived by a sister, Patricia. His longtime companion of 30 years, set designer and architect Charles Gillan Jr. predeceased him by two years. He began his career as Mitch in Perry Mason in 1965. Gargoyles is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Touched By An Angel is his final credit. He has 124 acting credits, and 22 Self credits to his resume. So we head into the skies in Macbeth's ship now as Broadway is chained in the back of the cockpit protesting that Macbeth cannot keep him her forever. Macbeth agrees but not until he has the first scroll. So Merlin has only two scrolls? That's a weak ass magician. Banquo does the worst whisper ever as he speaks in a slightly lower voice than normal proclaiming that he saw Hudson sink with the scroll and it will be in the bottom of the ocean. Macbeth clearly heard him and tells him what he's going to do if that happens and both henchmen are shocked and appalled with bagpipe music. So we head to Jeffrey's house as it's still raining pretty hard as we head into the living room with Hudson and Jeffrey sitting down in chairs as Hudson looks at a picture of Jeffrey's Purple Heart medal that he got rescuing kids in Vietnam as he explains that he did see a mine coming and the shrapnel basically killed the man's eye sight. Jeffrey decided to write novels for a while as he has a library of books behind him. He pulls out a certain book as Hudson opens it and wonders about the tiny bumps on the pages as Jeffrey explains that it's braille which allows him to understand words and their meanings. So we are milking 1986 all over again aren't we (Gummi Bear blind angle with Teddy Ruxpin disabled/educational angle)? Hudson is amazed that he wrote all those novels on the shelf; and Jeffrey chuckles at that since he only wrote a few modest successes and then it all dried up. So Jeff finds the English version for Hudson to see and Hudson cannot tell the difference between a mark and a dot as Jeff notices that Hudson cannot read.
Now; I thought Hudson could read; but just didn't care so that doesn't exactly make sense because Broadway was the one with contempt with books so why not have Broadway be at the house with Jeff while Hudson tackle Macbeth instead. Now people will say that it's a ripoff of What You See Is Me; but that's wrong because Tummi wasn't reading, he was trying to help a woman from getting robbed. There is a big enough difference. I just find it silly that Hudson cannot read considering that this is insulting to elders in general and more towards a modern cartoon take rather than an ancient one. Broadway is the one with the issue with books; why not have HIM doing that while Hudson grabs all the action and then do an ending where Broadway pulls Hudson from the television and shows how good reading is. That would be ironic and no more insulting than having Hudson doing this angle while Broadway is meat for Macbeth. The only way I can see anyone doing this is the excuse: "Give Hudson something to do" which is silly because having him foil Macbeth is giving him something to do other than watching television. So we head into the rainy stormy skies as Macbeth's ship is flying to the east now. Eeek! So we head inside with Macbeth checking the radar wondering if the scrolls are on the beach and or Hudson as well. Broadway just rants on him and calls Merlin another stupid magician. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection and Jealousy much there Broadway? Look; the Magus was stupid; but he panicked at least and cared about Katherine's safety in spite of Katherine's disdain of Gargoyles. Macbeth does the hard sell on Merlin and sadly I have to agree with Broadway in this case because Merlin has to be a stupid magician if he only wrote TWO scrolls of magic. You would think a kick ass magician would write 20-30 scrolls of his magical wares? Anyhow; he goes into this speech about how he took King Arthur and molded him into a benevolent king who brought peace to the world and this ends with a thunderclap. That was great and the best moment in the episode bar none as Macbeth's speech was perfect here.
Broadway accuses him of being there which is not out of place continuity wise in this show as Macbeth laughs it off and claims he read about it in a book. Broadway counters claiming that he explains it like he was there as Macbeth checks the radar and it shows a shot of Jeffrey's house with lime neon green lines going horizontal and vertical on the screen. Geez; the heel's technology is more advanced than the babyfaces. Is this some sort of anti-tech message that I'm reading too much into here? We get a near shot of the gargoyle cat like statue on the gate for no reason at all as we head back to inside Xanatos' office as it's almost sunrise. Owen is reading the newspaper as apparently; Lexington stayed behind despite the fact that we saw him with Goliath as they left. I'm given up counting logic breaks a long time ago because this is par for the course since one of the writers is the same one who wrote Ghost of a Chance for Rescue Rangers and Metamorphosis two rants ago. She make Chuck Tately look like Libby Hinson in terms of quality writing. She's only slightly worse than Eric Lewald and Jeremy Crushner combined in terms of quality writing by the way. Goliath has returned and demands to know where they are as Owen has gone back into character proclaiming that all the jets owned by Xanatos are in the shop; but he could try Macbeth. Wait; so you just knew that by now? So his happy face was just a ploy all along? Geez; that would have worked better if Owen had just stayed in character. BAH! Goliath is shocked of this development as we return to the living room with Hudson and Jeffrey exchanging notes on reading. Basically Hudson thinks he's too old to learn and Jeffrey thinks it's hogwash. He learned braille at almost 40 years old and he'll learn a new way of reading at age 80. Somehow; he's going to learn that much sooner than he expects. Hudson then admits that he has never told his clan that he cannot read. Personally; I would not have said "clan" here because you do realize that this blows your cover Hudson! He needs a teacher and a PR director STAT!
Hudson is also ashamed of himself as Jeffrey proclaims that there is nothing shameful about someone who cannot read; but it is shameful to stay that way. Something tells me this guy was a psychologist before he was a war veteran because only someone like a psychologist would say such a thing since most people would shun and deny jobs to folks like Hudson even if they were angry white males. So Hudson turns around and looks out the window as it's almost sunrise. Hudson grabs the scroll canister (okay; I've decided to ignore the obvious problem with the scrolls) and runs to the door as Jeffrey thinks his preaching has run him off. That was not preaching Jeff; that was being a social engineer. Hudson tells him that he needs to leave since it's almost sunrise as Hudson runs out and jumps on the brick wall with the statues and turns into a stone statue with canister in hand. Jeffrey comes out hearing a noise; but no response from Hudson so he goes back in the house. We pan up to the sky as MacBeth's ship is just over them and go inside as Broadway is chained down as a stone statue (so at least that continuity is still maintained) as Macbeth orders the ship to come down and that ends the segment 16 minutes in. Well; this was better than the first act in terms of logic, but this is not the Gargoyles people praise. This is the Gargoyles who is a dramatic version of Darkwing Duck using a Gummi Bears plot from 1986. With not so good execution.
After the commercial break; we see the ship land right in front of the gate which the scroll canister is right there for all to see. Jeffrey is inside the house and hears noises as his dog ; who I finally realize it in fact Gilla which Jeffrey addressed the dog earlier; but his real name is Gilgamesh. This one only growls. Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy V it is not. Check out Lousy Canuck's recent post on a comic strip where Deadpool gets his ass kicked by a man who is championing transgender rights when Deadpool tackled down a super villain who went from a male and transformed into a female cheerleader. That was awesome! This episode is not. Jeff demands answers as we see Macbeth trying to grab the canister ; but then notices the man looking at him as he stops and addresses himself as Lennox Macduff as he was here to find Hudson and was hoping he was all right. Jeffrey proclaims that he left this morning and MacBeth just thanks him and walks out as Jeff goes back into the house and Macbeth brings out the evil smile and goes to Hudson's statue; grabs the canister and leaves without incident. So we go to sunset at the house as the sun sets; and Hudson lives again. Hudson drops on the ground in front of the sliding window doors where Jeffrey and Gilgamesh hear noises from the chair. So Jeffrey invites Hudson to come inside as Gilgamesh and Hudson get to know each other. Hudson proclaims that he cannot stay as he asks about a canister; but Jeff hasn't seen it. He has known about Lennox Macduff being here and Hudson has no idea who he is. Jeff goes inside to the book shelves as he calls the name phony because it's based on a play called Macbeth and Hudson realizes that he took it. He assures Jeffrey that he is certain this MacDuff...ERRR...Macbeth is no friend of his. So Jeff goes through is braille phone book as he looks through names. I know that he is using the blue phone book because he tells Hudson that there is an address too. Hudson calls this a magic box and Jeffrey asks aren't all of them. Ummmmmmmmm... no.
So we head back to the castle as I'm still wondering how Macbeth got the castle back anyway. We see Banquo and Fleance on the ramparts while Macbeth is on the castle grounds as Broadway is chained up against a bronze shield designed wall. Broadway demands to know what he has planned as Macbeth has clearly decided against letting Broadway go. See; he wants to find a way to use the scrolls safely which is like trying to do wrestling moves safely like you hear in those "Don't Try This At Home" promos from WWE. He's also wanting to use those spells to do evil things to Broadway. Geez Macbeth; why not turn him into a starfish? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So we see Goliath, Lexington and Broadway land in the forest about 50 feet away from the castle and Hudson finally shows up! Yeah; the babyfaces finally find the castle despite the fact that in the end of the first Macbeth episode; the castle burned down to the ground. So; WHAT? I know Chris Barat was saying that when he found out from people on his blog that Wayforward had given him a "Special Thanks"; when he didn't do anything other than consult. He wanted me to verify that this in fact happened; so I found a Youtube video with the ending credits for the game and I can confirm that his name is on the Special Thanks list. I have a bad feeling that if a TaleSpin Remastered or new TaleSpin game (Keep dreaming fools!) then my name will be on it despite the fact that I would never had contact with them; much less any involvement in consulting. They'll probably read my website instead. Not sure about Steet if Steet's name got on the list though. Goliath asks about Broadway and Hudson proclaims that he hasn't seen him since the battle as we see smoke rising from the castle.
So the babyface fly into the sky as Banquo and Fleance notice them right away as Macbeth tells them to take care of it while opening the scroll. So Banquo goes to the wall which contains a console (above it is an angel statue reading a book. That's pretty symbolic isn't it?) and switches a knob which causes the turrets to come above the ramparts which is pretty neat. I also see that MacBeth has a pot with what appears to be an open flame. Now if you recall; in Enter Macbeth, a cauldron of fire was poured onto the ground which caused his castle to be set ablaze and it burned the castle to the ground. Now I'm no expert, but wouldn't it be safer if you just used spotlights instead of a cauldron with fire in it? I mean; how stupid do you have to be to not realize that you are literally asking for Backdraft to be replayed here. And wouldn't you know it; the henchmen fire the lasers and they hit the rocks and somehow they drop to the ground consuming the open flame cauldron of death and now the whole place is once again set on fire. What an idiot this Macbeth fellow is? He must be a pyromaniac; there is no better explanation forthcoming. Broadway proclaims that it's all over for Macbeth. If only Broadway, if only. This guy deserves a Darwin award; but he won't get it. Why? HAAAAAAAAA~! Macbeth is frustrated as he paints paint thinner on the seal of the scroll as we continue the shooting spree as Hudson has an idea to get past the cannon as they play misdirection and Goliath gets on Fleance's cannon and Hudson tackles Banquo's cannon and they shoot in each other and destroy the cannons. That was neat as Macbeth falls to the ground after nearly getting killed with flaming rocks in the process. Macbeth opens the first scroll and realizes that this is Merlin's diary which is worse considering that it's still only TWO scrolls! Macbeth is pissed as Goliath nails him from behind and grabs the scrolls. Macbeth is in a foul mood as he would say as Macbeth brings out his laser gun as Goliath orders Macbeth to release Broadway; or he'll burn the scrolls. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! Macbeth dares him to do it because the scrolls are useless to him anyway.
Now; why is this so stupid? Because the scrolls of Merlin belong to the Museum and at least Duane. So if Goliath burns the scrolls; he turns into a cowardly heel. That's not even the worst of it as Broadway screams at Goliath not to do it. Now you would think that he would say to him that the scrolls belong to the museum and thus burning them is vandalizing other people's property and dead wrong. Yeah; it's moralizing, but it makes perfect sense. But no; Broadway proclaims that you cannot burn these because they are Merlin's own words and they are thus magical. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? The most obvious reason to not burn the scrolls was right there; and you turned it into some magical thing about books. Books are a lot of great things to mankind. Being magical is NOT ONE OF THEM! Even worse; it was BROADWAY saying this when he had utter contempt for books throughout this entire episode. If Hudson had said this instead of Broadway; then it would have been much better (even better; Broadway sezs: "Oh; and they belong to the museum anyway."). How can this show make such an obvious, moralizing, crappy finish like this? And how can Gargoyles fan say that this show is much better than TaleSpin with a straight face? Thankfully; Macbeth ends this stupidity by getting his remote control and releasing Broadway; as he orders them off the property for trespassing and we get Goliath's wing as a segue back to the clock tower; so at least we only got to see part of the castle in flames instead of all of it this time. We see the babyfaces flying over as Goliath wants to return the scrolls to Eliza so they can be given back to the museum as Goliath offers to read them to Hudson; but Hudson insists that he'll read it himself when he knows how and Broadway's face lights up in happiness. So we head back to Jeffrey's living room as he is reading the newspaper (in braille of course) as he talks about the fuss of the scrolls of Merlin that he might have a book left in him.
So he finds the out of nowhere mini tape recorder and records on the microphone (is this any different than doing the same thing on DS or 3DS?) as he cuts one of the best promos I have heard in DTVA history (including TaleSpin) as he talks about the written word being the thing that stands between memory and oblivion; how without it would erase all progress in teaching and learning and how it can open people to the past, holding mirrors to the present and prisms to all possible futures. As he is saying this; we cut outside to the gate with Hudson watching on with approval. That was awesome and I'm going to put the quote below in full:
Jeffrey: The written word is all that stands between memory and oblivion. Without books as our anchors, we are cast adrift, neither teaching, nor learning. They are windows on the past, mirrors on the present, and prisms reflecting all possible futures. Books are lighthouses erected in the dark sea of time.
That ends the episode at 20:45 approx. A perfect ending to an otherwise bad episode. The second act was fine along with the ending; but most of it was riddled with logic breaks and a finish that can be best described as the kind of moralizing that has plagued cartoons in the 1980's. You know; the ones that we wanted to see go away. There was just too many bad decisions in this episode to justify trying to do this episode which was supposed to be about Hudson learning to read. ** (40%). And that is being generous as half of that was for the ending alone. This is as close to Goliath Chronicles bullcrap as you can get.
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow; I wasn't expecting to actively HATE a Gargoyles episode; but this episode tore my hair out in frustration. I will admit the following was good about this: (1) The concept of the moral of reading was a great idea, (2) Jeffrey Robbins is an excellent character and his promo at the end of this eliminated much of the pain of this episode in general because he managed to cut this promo without making books as a form of magic or anything, and it makes perfect sense to boot. (3) While Jeffrey being blind is a redo of the "What You See Is Me" episode; the difference is that in this one; Hudson wasn't protecting anyone. And (4) Macbeth's attempt to fool Jeffrey was very good when he stole the canister. And Macbeth's promo on Merlin and King Arthur was really neat. Also Sunwoo was not very good; but I have seen worse from them. Now onto the bashing of this episode:
[1.] Hudson was the one who met Jeffrey while Broadway faced Macbeth. I think this is a dumb idea because I felt that Hudson knew how to read; but didn't care while Broadway had utter contempt with books. It would have better served if they switched places. Which seemed to be the case...
[2.] Owen basically killed his own gimmick by smiling and it went nowhere when he lapsed back into character. Lexington left with Goliath earlier in David's office and then when we came back there; Lexington was already in the office as Goliath walked in. Huh?
[3.] Fleance looks too similar to Hyena and Banquo looks like a Owen clone doing the Guile gimmick from Street Fighter II.
[4.] Macbeth being absolutely dumb near the finish by having a cauldron of flames despite the fact that his castle burned down in his debut episode and...
[5.] The finish was one of the stupidest because for one: Broadway was the one who cut the moral which sounded so FCC approved that it wasn't funny despite the fact that the producer promised not to stoop to nonsense moral BS like this. Also; Broadway had contempt for books throughout the entire episode and suddenly; he likes books now? Something tells me Broadway was originally slotted to take this episode but someone thought it was too similar to a Gummi Bears episode (Memo to creative: It's not even close even if a blind person was involved.); or wanted something for Hudson to do because he has only one focus episode (bad choice to use in this one in my view.) Not to mention that Goliath was going to burn the scrolls which if he did would make him exactly like every modern cartoon character we old farts condemn on a regular basis. You know; the one who destroy people's properties with immunity?
I'm astounded that people praise this show and conveniently ignore episodes like this that show that "overrated" smell that some of us casual fans who like the series; but don't think it's the best thing since sliced bread. Yes; all DTVA shows have moralizing. TaleSpin does it a lot; but 99% of the time; it works because of the pathos. I cared about then. Hell; Vowel Play (which is close to the subject of this episode actually in some ways) was totally absurd as a plot; but it worked because it was damn entertaining and it had a great finish with Baloo being completely naked. And it made the importance of spelling and grammar believable to the point that as a kid; I could look at it and say: "Wow; I'm going to improve my spelling and grammar!". This episode was more "What The Hell Did I See?"; and not in a good way. So we have reached a low point of the series. Thankfully; The Mirror is next and while I can predict the ending well in advance; I don't care because it is the most ironic ending in history. And it has Puck! What more could anyone want? So....
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.