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Gargoyles: Protection
Reviewed: 09/21/2013
Patrick Star Style!
Welcome to Volume 2, Part 1, Disc 3 of Gargoyles as we begin what will be the final three episodes before the real crazy stuff begins. This episode I am ranting on is all about Eliza's "bad cop" side as she tries to take down Tony Dracon again despite doing that in The Silver Falcon earlier. Yeah; some things never change around NYC. So; let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written and story edited by the late Gary Sperling. Animation is done by Walt Disney Animation Japan with additional services done by Sae Rom Production Company Limited.
Opening Moment #1: We do a recap of Deadly Force on the Eliza/Anthony Dracon feud; including a final money shot of Dracon getting his face murdered on the stairs by Broadway; which is ruined by the worst jump cut I have ever seen as it cuts to Broadway and Eliza embracing each other. Oh great; Sae Rom is animating this episode; but the backgrounds at least will not suck, much.
We begin this one we a sequence of a white man in a black trench coat and green tie signaling for a taxi and getting in. The taxi drives away and we cut over to a building that has the name "Art & Louis" on the sign; as the blue title of the episode appears on the screen. Geez; that was pointless. Art & Louis sounds like a pun on Aunt Louise for some reason. There is a lot of pink in the building as this place looks like a licensed eatery. We see a brown haired woman in a banana yellow dress walking with a brown haired man wearing a white shirt, gray pants and blue tie. So the couple is arguing over paying some gangsters money to stay in business; and it's hard to tell if they are talking about gangsters, mobsters, or business men like Douglas Benson who are just hopelessly losers. I discover that the female's name is Louis and the male's name is Artie which doesn't explain why the sign has "Art" on it. I mean "Artie" is a great pun for "Hearty" as in "Hearty Meals" or something among those lines. Artie notices a stray briefcase and inspects it, but doesn't open it. Here's a bit of a clue: When there is only one briefcase in the room and someone is threatening you to pay up that isn't a legit business; the briefcase has a bomb inside it. Artie sets the briefcase down and walks out of the diner with Louis as we cut to inside the briefcase and we have a time bomb. Yeah; it's so okay to show this on a lowly diner; but when they do a plot line when a head of state is involved; it's effectively "banned" (Flying Dupes...moot point...on DVD...from Disney Store...Whatever...). So we cut to outside as the couple walks off-screen and the diner completely explodes and somehow the two were able to duck and be unharmed despite the explosion appearing to create a fireball so big and tall that it should have burn them to ashes. Artie looks up and blames Dracon for this as we cut to inside a black limo with Tony Dracon looking quite amused. Then we cut to the limo stopping on the sidewalk as Glasses is walking on the sidewalk. The limo door opens and in comes Glasses as indeed; Anthony Dracon was behind the scheme of blowing up the restaurant because he wants to send a message see.
That message is obvious that you pay Tony Dracon; or something bad will happen to you and your place. And you wouldn't want anything bad happening now would ya?! Glasses does have some disturbing news on this situation because someone is muscling on his turf see. Glasses claims that a crooked cop is doing this and Tony blows "him" off for this; but Glasses claims that the officer is a "she". So Tony tells him to send a message to "her". So we head back to "Art & Louis" on fire as the firefighters are trying to put out the blaze...struggling. We pan over to the other side of the sidewalk as Travis is interviewing Louis and Artie as Artie wants to tell everyone who it is; but Louis yells that they don't know anything and then walk off stage right. Travis states that this is not surprising behavior as there is police speculation that Anthony Dracon is tightening up the protection racket grip he is as we cut to inside the clock tower with Broadway watching television on Hudson's loveseat with wings folded into his chest. I guess Hudson has gone to see Jeffrey Robbins again. Goliath comes in asking what the hell is a "protection racket" and Broadway answers without stumbling or fumbling with the words that criminal threaten people with their lives and/or property damage if they don't cough up that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Goliath is angry and demands to know where the police are. More to the point: Where the hell is Eliza?! Broadway claims that he doesn't know; she has been missing in the last few days. So we cut to outside the police station as someone walks in and see a lone man walking into the station, then we cut to inside the computer control where Morgan and Maria are talking to each other in the background. I should note that Rachel is voicing Maria this time unlike in Revelations. We see one of the men looking at a computer monitor of a criminal profile while eating doughnuts and then Maria walks over and notices Matt Bluestone with his hands on Anthony Dracon's second in command. Maria asks Matt about Eliza and Matt doesn't know either; but he did bring in one of Tony's associate who finally has a name; which is Pal Joey. Okay.
So Matt Bluestone gets in Pal's face because he wants him to explain the restaurant bombing; which Pal claims that he doesn't know about it and doesn't eat much in restaurants anyway. Memo to Pal: Make sure you absolutely say "never eaten in a restaurant" because "much" indicates that you do go to restaurants and incriminates you. Matt drags him into the first interrogation room which is helpfully labeled with a mini chalkboard which clearly Sae Rom has never seen a piece of chalk before because there is no chalk stick present; but a pen wrapped in rope. Maria tells Matt that if he ever sees Eliza; to tell her to come to Maria because she wants a "word" with her. So we head into the empty 90% dark room which has only a table, chair and a window with one way glass. Matt takes off his jacket and puts it on the chair, and paces around telling Pal that his officers think Anthony is behind the bombing; but Pal blows it off because he thinks a female cop on the take is the one who bombed the place which pisses off Matt like mad as he calls Pal a punk and then we get a knock on the door and Matt answers it to find Eliza Maza as she walks on in and orders Matt to leave because she wants to do the ratting out on Pal; and Mr. Clean wants none of this. Oooooo..YEAH!! So Matt leaves and closes the green door with wire on the opening as Eliza grabs Pal Joey by the coat and demands that Tony gets the message that she is taking over Tony's turf BABEE! This is clearly a setup because if it isn't, then why would Eliza be so careless to act like a gangster INSIDE the room which has one way glass where Maria and Matt can clearly see and hear her yelling? I mean; with all that experience which has been booked as such in every episode up to this point; why act like this now, unless it was a setup? It is sad though; because "Bad Cop Eliza Maza" is awesome. So we hear Maria outside wanting Eliza and Eliza drops the riot act and walks outside the door as we overhear Maria claiming that there is a tip that Eliza is the one that has been demanding money from the storekeepers. Pal gets up and walks to the door overhearing everything as Eliza blows it off as garbage.
Maria is not buying this crap which is strange as Matt defends her with his bloody honor and Maria tells him to save it for the investigation as Eliza cannot believe this silliness and is about to walk out. Maria calls for her and tells her that until the matter is resolved; she is suspended without pay; and demands her badge and gun. Eliza and Maria both say the exact same thing which is that they expected more from each other and Eliza hands in her badge and gun; and she leaves out of the police station. We see Eliza walking away on the sky shot as Broadway and Goliath notice her walking down the sidewalk without saying a word. Goliath proclaims that something is wrong and wants to follow her this time as we head to the grand hotel of doom which has the worst animated fountain I have ever seen. We head to the top floor inside a suite with Tony Dracon sitting on a red sofa answering a phone. I notice that the coffee table has the most unusual candlestick holder I have ever seen. So we discover that Pal Joey is calling from a payphone from a sidewalk intersection which means that he somehow got out of the police station despite the fact that we never saw him escape the room. We saw him come towards the door when Maria was accusing Eliza of being on the take; but never actually escape. Bad, bad form there guys! Pal informs him that Eliza has gone rogue and is acting weird. Tony is surprised by this as there is another call on his phone and he switched over to that one as we discover a white shirt, black vested, black haired bartender is on the phone inside a bar as he notices Eliza has joined the NWO! Not really; since the NWO didn't exist for another eight months at least. She's playing pool in the background while wearing SWANK black gear with a purple vest and a midriff. Lovely! Dracon tells the bartender to stall for time which indicates that Dracon has been watching Larry Z tapes recently. So the bartender hangs up the phone (and drinks what appears to be milk from a conveniently placed glass.) and he walks over to Eliza playing pool and of course Sae Rom's continuity on the pool game is like Wang Films' and Sunwoo animating this. Even more absurd; the strike ball is a white/black ball; for no reason as Eliza tells him that he wants protection and she wants money as we see her shoot the ZEN BALL OF DOOM into the hard camera and that ends the segment seven and a half minutes in. Now; I love "bad cop Eliza"; but she is clearly playing Kit Cloudkicker from Plunder and Lightning Part Three. Which is great still. Sae Rom's animating still sucks; but at least they can do TaleSpin like backgrounds.
After the commercial break; we head outside as I discover that the place is called "Dave's Ball & Stick". Yeap; crap got past the radar right there which means one of Dave's "balls" was given for a transplant. Or something. Anyhow; Eliza notices that one of the hanging light fixtures has a frayed wire and claims that it could cause a real fire as she pokes it and it sparks blue and then the whole lighting fixture comes down and shatters on the table. Eliza proclaims that the inspectors would have a field day shutting this place down; unless something happens before then. The bartender pleads for mercy and Eliza decides to let him pay per week; or else she gets really unhappy and likes to make people miserable and loves to shove pool sticks up someone's chin. Then we get a knock on the door as we see coming in which are Glasses and Pal Joey who has escaped custody it seems. Glasses tells her that he wants to talk and Eliza gives the stick back to the bartender and walks out. So we head outside as all three humans get into the back seat of the car and Pal Joey and Glasses are the bread to an Eliza sandwich. Yeah; that is not an indication that they don't want to do evil things to her. Anyway; they claim that Eliza is the problem and Eliza claims that she is the solution. And right on cue; comes Goliath to force the white haired driver off the road and the car hits the lamp post. I just realized that the bartender's name is indeed Dave and he looks like a sleazy version of Dave Seville from Alvin & The Chipmunks. Goliath grabs Glasses while Pal Joey tries to escape from the scene; but bumps into Broadway in white eyes mode. Eliza groans and it's clear that this is a sting operation because she sezs "not now!". So Eliza gets out and blows off Goliath and Broadway; demanding them to put the heels down (which they do) and Eliza tells them to leave her alone because they are not puppies. Broadway and Goliath just stand there and look confused as all the heels get into the damaged car and drive away without further incident. Goliath thinks Eliza is under a magic spell; but Broadway is pondering over this. I cannot take anything you ponder seriously Mr. "Patrick Star" Broadway. Goofball!
So we head to Tony Dracon's office as Tony is at his desk looking shocked about Eliza having the monsters under her control. Glasses explains that Eliza was talking down at them like little kids as Anthony seems to think this is a great lead as he orders Glasses, Pal Joey and some mobster guy to leave to make that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH and inform Eliza to come on in. So we cut to outside the office as a blond haired trench coat guy who might be Pal Joey's dumb twin brother holding a gun while sitting on the sofa while Eliza simply paces in front of him. We see the goon squad come out of the office as Glasses tells Eliza that the boss wants to see her right now! So Tony tries to sweet talk her into having an amazing Caesar salad (and goodness; I want to have one right about now) as Eliza pushes Tony around for him to get the point so to speak. Tony asks Eliza about how she decided to get into his turf and be on the take. Eliza sits down on a sofa and asks how Tony stays out of jail...and then answers her own question. As noted; she references The Silver Falcon incident indirectly and since Dracon got bail; she wondered what the point of this was while patting the sofa. Tony sits down and does some french to annoy the "Speak English Only" audience and Eliza states that she'll have something to eat after all as Tony lights up the telephone and calls someone. Man; his telephone flashes blue lights like nothing. Anyhow; we head back to the corner store from Reawakening and head inside to find Matt Bluestone dressing up as a clerk while the store clerk thinks Matt is over his head on these things and is tilting at windmills. We discover that his name is Mr. Jaffe and he's voiced by the same guy who voices Travis. Apparently; Mr. Jaffe has heard Matt's Illuminati theories as a dog barks and Glasses walks into the store like a casual prick. It's hilarious that Matt is wearing the same black rimmed glasses as Glasses is as Jaffe asks if he could help him; but Glasses gets in his name claiming that it's the other way around. Glasses goes over and wipes off the shelf of green beans as he talks about vandals, armed robbers and arsonists doing bad things in this bad neighborhood. Yip! Yip!
Matt Dunerock (that's Matt Bluestone's new name for his goofy looking outfit) asks if they offer protection and Glasses claims that they do for a small fee of course. Matt basically tells him that a woman is pitching the same thing (a sign that this is a setup by Eliza) and wants the real man in charge to appear. Once that happens; then they'll pay once and Matt thinks that is reasonable. Glasses is not amused; but he walks out without saying a word as Mr. Jaffe is even less amused of this as we head inside what looks to be the exact same place that was bombed at the beginning of the episode. Geez; everyone is into this pink scheme today. Basically; Pal Joey pitches his protection promo to a black man and a latino lady both with glasses on and the woman really over sells the point of not wanting to be bullied by anyone. The man agrees and Pal Joey proclaims that it's their funeral and walks out the door. We then see that it was really Morgan and Maria Chez in the most convincing disguises I have seen in DTVA. Bravo people; now I hope the rest of the characters in DTVA do the same thing. Wishful thinking I know. So we head back to Dracon's suite as there is a feast a-brewing with Eliza and Tony as I discover that the thing on the coffee table is a statue of a woman. Man; Tony Dracon is truly overcompensating here and it's not just the food. There is a jar of jalapeno peppers which Eliza takes one of them out and eats it; claiming that she loves it. Oooookkkkkkaaaayyyyy. Dracon offers her the jar while cleaning his teeth as Eliza accepts said jar. So Eliza and Tony exchange notes on the flying monsters as Tony wants to bring them into the fold for some assistance. Eliza blows it off because they are unpredictable and they desire nothing; even if it's money nor power. And then the double window doors fling open and in comes Goliath and Broadway as Tony jumps over the sofa and sets his gun to profits. Broadway and Goliath then proclaim that this money and power stuff sounds appealing. Yeah; I can smell the obvious "they are in on the scheme Eliza is hatching" from a mile away. Eliza groans again as we end the segment 13 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we have Eliza looking confused and then introduces Broadway and Goliath to Tony Dracon which is kind of silly since Dracon has met Broadway three times in this series already. Dracon likes this muscle; but wonders why him and why now? Broadway claims that they want someone with all the angles. It's hard for me to say this; but, Broadway is a million times more convincing than Dale from "Mind Your Cheese's & Q's". Seriously. So Dracon is impressed as Glasses and Pal Joey come in with guns pointed claiming that there is bad news on the horizon; but Dracon blocks the way because they are upsetting the guests see. Glasses is confused; so Dracon changes it to partners as they are all working together as one big happy family now. Tony asks about these bad situations and Glasses informs Dracon that Mr. Jaffe wants to pay; but Eliza visited them beforehand and they want to see the man in charge; while the dry cleaners place are play hero and heroine and refuse to pay up. Dracon is amused by this and proclaims that Eliza, Dracon and Glasses will go to Mr. Jaffe's store; while Pal Joey goes to the cleaners with Goliath and Broadway which Pal Joey does not like at all. Heh. So Dracon cuddles with Eliza and almost calls her sugar before correcting himself which is cute before leaving as Pal Joey is stammering like an idiot asking if they would like a ride and Goliath proclaims that he has his own methods of transportation and he and Broadway go out of the window doors and fly away towards the bridge as Pal Joey is not liking this at all. So Broadway is flying and proclaims that if they cannot beat them; join them. Broadway is clearly entrenched in this movie character now as Goliath proclaims that as long as Eliza is safe; he will glide over to Jaffe's store and wants Broadway to go alone to the dry cleaners which surprises Broadway. So we see Pal at the side entrance of the dry cleaners with a suitcase on the west pan shot from the dumpster. So Pal goes in as we see Maria and Morgan cleaning up stuff in their disguises and then a blue canister gets thrown onto the floor and it emits green gas which completely knocks out both of them.
We see Pal near the door as he slides the suitcase in with the gas mask on his mouth and blows off Broadway because he can do this without such Gargoyle help. Also; we pan up to see Broadway looking on proclaiming that bad guys are always in such a hurry. So he jumps and lands in front of Pal Joey with his front facing the hard camera. He turns around and grabs Pal proclaiming that there has been a change in plans; but is forced to let go and dodge the red laser fire because the gray haired mobster arrives with his Deadly Force Weapon of Doom. Wait; wasn't he supposed to be with Dracon? So Broadway dodges and hides behind the dumpster, and then uses the dumpster to rush them and bangs into the alleyway which somehow faces inside the alleyway despite Broadway was going in the direction of the street. Yawn. Pal and White dodge it; but White loses his gun and Broadway grabs him and throws him into Pal Joey and they have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't at the pool table. So Broadway finds some lead pipes in the garbage can which appears out of nowhere and uses them to tie up the heels. That seems to be a proper method of binding from these gargoyles. So Broadway is dragging Pal Joey and White somewhere; and then Pal wakes up and panics because the bomb is only set for three minutes. Did I just say...?! Oh wait; never mind as Broadway drops the heels on the ground and goes inside. He grabs the suitcase and opens it to reveal the bomb and grabs it. He runs outside and climbs the walls and then flies over across the bridge and over the harbor. Now I would have thrown the bomb into the ocean; but Broadway doesn't even do that and it explodes right in his face, but somehow he is not dead and flies away unharmed. What a stupid logic break this is?! Even worse; this makes the finish to City of Stone even stupider in hindsight because it shows that explosions do not harm gargoyles; so Demona's plans were pointless. Idiots!
Broadway just sezs jalapeno and flies stage left as we head to Mr. Jaffe's general store as the car has arrived and Dracon and Eliza in shadow come out while Glasses waits in the car. So we see Jaffe and Matt Dunerock cleaning up the place as Eliza and Tony walk in as Matt does all the talking in this as Dracon proclaims that he is in charge. Dracon makes it simple as they pay up; there are no problems. Don't pay up and there will be problems, including doing the exact same thing Glasses did earlier in the same store. Matt asks about said problems and Tony proclaims that he'll blow up the place as we pan over to the obvious video camera on the ceiling and Matt calls this crystal clear and brings out a legit TaleSpin bullet shooting gun. YES! FINALLY! Eliza goes into Tony's suit and grabs the fake looking gun from Tony because Tony is under arrest. Tony proclaims that they could have been great together. Eliza calls him sugar and proclaims that she already has a partner named Matt Bluestone as Matt finally blows his cover; and Tony steals the gun back; grabs Eliza and points the gun at her. Then the door opens and in comes Glasses and White? WHAT?! Wasn't he already tied up at the dry cleaners? They have laser guns that sound like machine gun fire as Jaffe and Matt hide behind a shelf as the heels shoot at the shelves and the first shot shows actual damage and then on the next shot showing Matt and Jaffe hiding; the damage is gone and every time the shooting is repeated; there is signs if shrapnel; but no signs of actual damage. Oy vey Sae Rom! So Dracon orders Glasses to kill them and then the doors slam open and in comes Goliath as he flings the glasses driver into the car and he's knocked out. Glasses tries to shoot; but Matt jumps in and tackles him down; leaving what we all wanted to see: Eliza Maza kicking Tony Dracon's ass as she gets in a beautiful punch and then a roundhouse kick right in the face. Toon Disney cut out the spin kick; but not the punch in a major surprise. I guess the punch was done in such a way to adhere to the "No shots to the face" rule.
Then Dracon grabs the bag of flour which is out of nowhere and shoves it right into Eliza causing her to impact the shelves with a MAN-SIZED bump. Dracon tries to run away into the street; but here comes Goliath who grabs Dracon and we go up into the skies (as the entire city below looks like watching a Gameboy television. Yeah; Sae Rom is not on it's best behavior today) as Goliath threatens to drop him for trying to prey on the innocent and call it protection; and he actually drops him. WH...?! Oh wait; he swoops down and grabs him again because gargoyle justice is not human justice. Wait; that makes no sense. If gargoyle justice is not human justice; then gargoyle justice has to be unjustified. That makes the gargoyles actual monsters. Good going guys! We see the driver handcuffed by Eliza on the black car as Goliath lands and drops Dracon on his ass in front of her. Goliath asks if there is enough evidence to convict a leech and Eliza proclaims that it's airtight and thanks him. So Goliath leaves to tend to Broadway as he climbs up the walls of the store and flies away as police cars arrive including Maria and Morgan as Morgan comes in and officially handcuffs Dracon while Maria gives Eliza her badge back; but doesn't give her the gun back. Huh. I wonder why she didn't? They thank each other as Matt brings in the driver and Glasses as apparently; the driver is no longer handcuffed. Silly logic break is a silly logic break. So we head back to the clock tower as Broadway is on the perch eating jalapeno peppers from the jar while Eliza wonders how they knew about her scheme. Goliath claims that they know something was amiss and Broadway figured it out and belches on cue. Goliath claims that he found it hard to believe that Eliza would turn to a life of crime. Eliza states that the corrupt are the first to believe that someone can be corrupted; and that is half true since no one is perfect. Therefore; you need protection and sometimes from yourself. So Goliath offers to protect Eliza; Eliza offers to protect Goliath and they both offer to protect the city as Broadway comes up and offers a jalapeno pepper to Goliath. Goliath eats the pepper and he no sells for about ten seconds before yelling "JALAPENO!" with a doubling echo as we zoom out and go to the sunrise over NYC to end the episode at 21:15 approx. That last spot was DUMB! However; this is more subtle than (SPOILER ALERT!) Goliath getting hit in the face with a banana cream pie by a security guard who swears revenge on Goliath's honor. And before you say "JALAPENO" (The dubbed anime style of "FACKING BULLSHEET!); I assure you that this actually happened. Too bad it doesn't happen in this DVD set. Another fun episode with a dumb ending and Sae Rom animating like an idiot. Don't ever let Sae Rom animate damage ever again, Okay?! *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; more Tony Dracon equals more fun and Broadway is always on the case. Okay; I realize well in advance that Eliza was faking this as there were enough signs to point out the obvious setup with the biggest one being yelling at Pal Joey in the interrogation room which sounded like obvious gang mentality and there was clearly a one way glass window shown in the room. Eliza was really cool and Broadway was more convincing than most goofballs when it comes to trying to act serious. I could take Broadway seriously as a henchmen for Eliza as a gangster; unlike Dale who I cannot take seriously at all and can't ponder him kicking anyone's ass. Broadway I could with no problem even with the Patrick Star voice. Eliza's routine of corrupt cop was great and he seduced Tony Dracon perfectly in this one. Plus; we got a great payoff with Eliza kicking Dracon's ass in two blows; that was awesome. Sadly; Sae Rom's animating still sucks as they cannot animate damage properly as shown in the laser beam shooting in Mr. Jaffe's store. And sadly; this is the episode where they started making Goliath look like a complete fool at the end with him eating the pepper and the heat went into his mouth. Trust me; it is going to get more contrived as we progress later on. Overall; a really good episode with some crappy animation and a dumb ending. Next up is The Cage as the Mutate decide to finally get their revenge on Goliath and then we end with The Price and Hudson is turned to stone... FOREVER! FOREVER! FOREVER! AND EVER! So....
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.