Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The webmaster has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the webmaster and no one else. The webmaster has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Unreal Estate
Reviewed: 01/02/2017
Well; That's A Great Thing To Call The Housing Bubble!
Well; here we are, my first official rant of 2017 has arrived a day late and twenty dollars short. Anyhow; the last episode was very boring and Goofy was barely on screen for twenty seconds. Now this one had Goofy on screen a lot longer and PJ and Max didn't arrive; although someone in this episode was impersonating him for some reason. Anyhow; the plot for this episode is this: Pete is forced to fix up a lake house site to prove that he loves Peg more than his motorboat; but Pete spends most of the fees to fix up the house on a stupid telescope gun, so he is forced to enlist Goofy into helping him. Hijinks and other things ensue. Think Your Baloo's In The Mail; only it works. Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Cathryn Perdue and story edited by Jymn Magon. The animation was done by Walt Disney Animation Australia PTY, Limited
We begin this one with a shot of a lamp post near a street with a poster that is basically for a comic book for Darkwing Duck. Of course; comics is spelt "comix" for no reason and the title card uses white diamond outlines againest a red background. So we pan over to PJ's house and then scene change to somewhere on Pete's boat as Pete is wearing an orange shirt, green shirts and socks; shoes and a hat lying down on a lawn chair reading a magazine called "Modern Boatsman"; which cannot be any worse than our modern sportsmen of today. Pete whistles as we look inside the magazine for an ad for something called the new Ultra-fin; which is a laser-guided telescopian fish-finder. Even though the magazine says "telescope & fish-finder". Is that phrase trademarked or something? Pete then frames the shot of the front of his boat; because he's the Kevin Nash of the show. Only Kevin Nash was thin and tall; while Pete is in the middle and very fat. Pete wonders where to get the money as he then recoils and decides to steal...ERR..sneak a hundred from PJ's saving account, two hundred from Pistol's college fund, and two hundred from....Well; I'm guessing it's Peg's iron will safe, but the hammering in the background completely cuts Pete off. We see Pete get up and look at a tree on Goofy's property as Goofy is hammering nails on a surprisely solid treehouse wearing blue overalls and a cyan blue shirt. Pete blows off Goofy's hammering as Goofy giggles like a redneck because he has a few more tappy-taps left. It's a surprise treehouse for his son, you see. Pete gets back on lawn chair and tells Goofy to keep it down. What down, Pete? If it's your weight; good luck, you'll need it. The wooden plank is acting like a rubberband nailed to a wall as Goofy tells it to be quiet and then puts cotton in his ear. HAHA! Goofy nails the board; causing the nail to comes out (somehow) and the board slingshots stage left and clobbers Pete in the head with it. Pete sells for one second and then blows Goofy off. At least it was made of wood and not metal; so it's not as cringeworthy as a steel chair, but it still pretty painful. By the way; Pete calls Goofy an idjit; not idiot Disney Captions. Goofy cannot hear anything, DUH! I knew those cotton balls would be useful for something. Pete rolls up his sleeves and gets up; only to get cut off by Peg's voice as he dives underneath the boat. Do you get the feeling that Peg makes Rebecca look like the nicest person you will ever met?
Because that is clearly what Pete is implying in his own actions as we cut to Peg in a green suit, white shirt and black bowtie; not being happy about Pete's disappearance at the door. Peg walks around as Pete is sitting on the ground at the boat reading his magazine. Apparently; this new fish-finder can spot fish to fifty feet deep. He wants to catch some fish called Steely Mouth as Peg calls for Pete because she has a job for him. One that actually involves being honest and being committed to fair play; which is the exact opposite of Pete's gimmick. Pete assures the boat that nothing is coming between him and the boat this weekend in grabbing Steely Mouth as Peg comes in from behind with a suitcase blowing him off for that. HA! Pete gasps and gets up; remembering to bump into the steel anchor with his head of course. Because concussions are funny, you see. Maybe in 1992; but not anymore. Pete is trying to defend himself; but Peg has the Gruffi pose on, accusing Pete of working on his boat again. Why is that a bad thing, Peg? At least he's not trying to screw Goofy and his son like he normally does; you're just acting like a jerk? I thought that was supposed to be Rebecca Cunningham's gimmick? Sexist men say that in doublespeak; so it must be true. Peg is upset because she thinks Pete loves the boat more than her. Geez; I wonder why that is the case? Pete half-asses the embrace as flies buzz in for fun. Yeah; like I'm buying that Pete Pete loves her more than that boat. Pete then squashes fly against boat hull and wipes the boat hull clean. That is of course enough for Peg to take the hint and storm out with her luggage. So Peg puts her stuff in the car as she tells us that she is selling the lake house on Monday, so she needs him to fix up the house this weekend. Peg gets in the car as Pete whines about it; as Peg assures him that he won't be alone since she hired some jambroni named Dutch Spackle to help him. Peg shows off the money and then orders Pete to not goof off and not to play with his boat for one weekend at most. Pete takes the money and promises that no goofiness will occur. Yeah; I'll bet as Peg pulls on Pete's orange shirt telling him how important the clients are; which are completely unnamed of course. Pete promises as Peg and Pete tease kissing on the lips; but Peg drives away, leaving him hanging. HAHA! I know this because Peg says "Miss You...Your Face!" in between the goodbyes.
So Peg drives away and if you cannot guess what happens next; you have no business reading this rant. That's right; Pete goes to the conventiently placed phone on the umbrella table and calls a store called Aquatic Doodads and files an order for the Ultra-fin telescope and fish finder. Literally ten seconds after Peg had gone out of sight; because you see, Pete is a heel while Baloo is merely a well meaning pilot who is an idiot. We do the WUZZLE SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM as we see the thing is a white NES Zapper with telescope neon green lens and it's already mounted on the boat. I have now realized that Peg's gimmick is that she is a real estate agent and a superbusy mother. Hmmm; Johnny Ass has one of those, too. In fact; that one dresses exactly like Peg was dressed in this episode! Pete kisses the twenty bucks left over (which is the same amount Rebecca gave to Baloo in Your Baloo's In The Mail; the worst television episode in the series.) as the phone rings and we see Pistol run in to answer it. Pistol is calling Peg and Pistol informs her that Pete is NOT working on his boat; and Pete praises her. Pistol giggles and then claims that he REALLY IS working on his boat; causing Pete to freak out. HAHA! Pete tries to get out of his boat; but the rope inside the boat somehow snags his left ankle causing him to trip and hang his shorts onto the back of the thing, causing the anchor to fly into the air and get caught in his pants creating a really distrubing visual of Pete's symbolic romanacized manhood at around 4:23 of the DVD. Pistol incriminates Pete some more claiming that he bought something, too. Pistol teases for a while; just to allow Pete to run in showing a gratious shot of his white red spotted underwear and a bit of his ass crack to boot. Surprisely; it was less crack than the baby from A Bad Reflection On You Part One. Pete finally grabs the phone and tries to explain that Pistol is merely screwing with her head. Well; he's half right about that, and that might be ommitting someone else's head to boot; one that she's probably doing more screwing of. Peg of course is yelling at him and it sounds a lot better on the phone then face to face, I might add. Pete struggles with the phone and the anchor literally up his ass as Pete lies about giving Dutch Spackle the money of course; so Peg wants to call Dutch Spackle at the lake. Pete screams and Peg tells him to tell Dutch to paint the house Peppermint Pink; which is the color of an eraser. Huh.
Pete obeys her and hangs up the phone while his pants are clearly down. Kiss-kiss, indeed. Pete takes out the twenty bucks and wonders who would be stupid enough to work for twenty bucks. Geez; I wonder where this is going, now. We then hear Goofy screaming as wood board are crunching. Cut to the tree as Goofy is swinging on a rope with the rope tied around his hips. Apparently; he is painting the treehouse yellow or gluing something. Geez; even this treehouse realizes that Gedo fashion sense is terrible if it's screwing Goofy like this. Pete calls this awfully conventient and walks over to Goofy calling this a great job neighbour. Well; there's a backhanded compliment if I ever saw one. Pete calls this so professional as one of the boards is plucking loose as Pete calls this lumber poetry. Pete of course embraces Goofy; causing the paint brush to splatter banana yellow paint onto Pete. Somehow; that is an improvement. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm... Pete is not impressed as he somehow climbs up the treehouse despite Goofy being in front of the ladder and one of wooden rungs gets unintentionally ripped off by Pete. I feel dirty saying that, actually. Pete looks like he wants to be somewhere else; but recoils as he wishes he had a project that was worthy of Goofy's skills. Yeah; I'll bet. Goofy giggles and lets go of the rope; meaning Goofy has just been WARNERED~! Of course! Cut to Pete leaning on a rail (which is a bad idea, by the way) as he has a little project for Goofy and offer Goofy his job as Goofy is surprised by this. Pete even offers to pay twenty dollars for this fix-up project as Goofy accepts and it appears that he is lying down on the grass. That is less stupid than Pete leaning on the railing because the railing breaks and Pete free falls off-screen like a total idiot. So we cut to the house on the lake which is basically a cabin on a hill; with a wooden staircase down the hill towards a dock with Pete's motorboat and two power poles with one of them in the water with a conventiently placed payphone on it. More public domain music ensues as we cut to Goofy in a purple shirt and white overalls hammering a nail into the lime green siding outside the house. Oh wait; it's not Goofy; it's actually the real Dutch Spackle, who looks exactly like Max, only with an adult voice and a brown mustache. Geez; that is some lazy character design there, maaannnnnnn!
Dutch Spackle is voiced by the late Charles Nelson Reilly (passed away in 2007) and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Reilly was born in The Bronx, New York City, the son of Charles Joseph Reilly, an Irish Catholic commercial artist, and Signe Elvera Nelson, a Swedish Lutheran.[1] When young, he would often make his own puppet theater to amuse himself. His mother, foreshadowing his future as an entertainer, often would tell him to "save it for the stage."[2] At age 13, he survived the infamous 1944 Hartford Circus Fire,[3] which killed 169 people in Connecticut. As a result, he never sat in an audience again throughout the remainder of his life. Because of the event's trauma, he rarely attended theater, stating that the large crowds reminded him of what happened that day.[4] As a boy, Reilly developed a love for opera and desired to become an opera singer. He entered the Hartt School of Music as a voice major, but eventually abandoned this pursuit when he realized that he lacked the natural vocal talent to have a major career. However, opera remained a lifelong passion, and he was a frequent guest on opera-themed radio programs, including the Metropolitan Opera radio broadcasts. He directed opera productions for the Lyric Opera of Chicago, Dallas Opera, Portland Opera, San Diego Opera, and Santa Fe Opera, among others. He was good friends with opera singers Renée Fleming, Rod Gilfry, Roberta Peters, and Eileen Farrell.[5] Reilly made his film debut in 1957 with an uncredited role in A Face in the Crowd, directed by Elia Kazan, though most of his early career was spent on the stage. He was a regular and popular performer in comic roles for several summer seasons in the 1950s at the Starlight Theatre in Kansas City, Missouri. Reilly appeared in many Off Broadway productions. His big break came in 1960 with the enormously successful original Broadway production of Bye Bye Birdie.
In the groundbreaking musical, Reilly had a small onstage part and was the standby for Dick Van Dyke in the leading role of Albert Peterson. In 1961, Reilly was in the original cast of another big Broadway hit, the Pulitzer prize-winning musical How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. For his memorable origination of the role of Bud Frump, Reilly earned a 1962 Tony Award for featured actor in a musical. In 1964, Reilly was featured in the original cast of yet another giant Broadway success, Hello, Dolly! For originating the role of Cornelius Hackl, Reilly received a second nomination for a Tony Award for performance by an actor in a featured role in a musical. While he kept active in Broadway shows, Reilly would soon become better-known for his TV work, appearing regularly on television in the 1960s. For example, he appeared both as one of the What's My Line? Mystery Guests and as a panelist on that popular Sunday night CBS-TV program. In 1965, he made regular appearances on The Steve Lawrence Show, which aired for a single season. Television commercials he made throughout the 1960s and 1970s included Excedrin and Bic Banana Ink Crayons, in which he wore a banana costume. From 1968 to 1970, he appeared as the uptight, easily flustered character Claymore Gregg on the television series The Ghost & Mrs. Muir, which also starred Hope Lange and Edward Mulhare. The series updated a popular fantasy romance film of the 1940s into a broad situation comedy, and Reilly's character, who was not in the original movie, was the focus of many of the gags. In one episode of the show, Reilly was reunited with his Hello, Dolly! original Broadway castmate Eileen Brennan. Reilly also appeared as a regular on The Dean Martin Show, and had multiple guest appearances on television series, including McMillan & Wife, The Patty Duke Show, Here's Lucy, Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, The Love Boat, and Love, American Style.
In 1971, Reilly appeared as the evil magician Hoodoo in Lidsville, a psychedelically flavored live-action children's program produced by Sid and Marty Krofft that aired on Saturday mornings on ABC. The show was about a boy who falls into a magician's hat and enters a magical world of hat-humans. Through these roles, as well as the title role in Uncle Croc's Block, and appearing once on Walt Disney's The Mouse Factory that Reilly's voice and mannerisms became familiar to a generation of young fans. Reilly was also a frequent guest on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, appearing more than one hundred times. Because Reilly was such a lively and reliable talk-show guest and lived within blocks of the Burbank studios where The Tonight Show was taped, he was often asked to be a last-minute replacement for scheduled guests who did not make it to the studio in time. Reilly was perhaps best known as a fixture on game shows, primarily due to his appearances as a regular panelist on the television game show Match Game. Reilly was one of the longest-running guests, and often engaged in arguments with fellow regular Brett Somers (the two generally sat next to each other on the show--Somers in the upper middle seat and Reilly in the upper right seat). Reilly typically offered sardonic commentary and peppered his answers with homosexuality-themed double entendres that pushed the boundaries of 1970s television standards.[6] During the taping of Match Game 74, Reilly left for a short time to film the made-for-TV movie Hamburgers (1974), also starring Sid Caesar and Charlie Callas. From 1975 to 1976, Reilly starred in another live-action children's program called Uncle Croc's Block, with Jonathan Harris. Reilly was often a guest celebrity on the 1984 game show Body Language, including one week with Lucille Ball and another week with Audrey Landers.
From 1976 on, Reilly primarily taught acting and directing for television and theater, including directing Julie Harris (with whom he had acted in Skyscraper in 1965–66), who was portraying Emily Dickinson in her one-woman Broadway play The Belle of Amherst, by William Luce. In 1979, he directed Ira Levin's play Break a Leg on Broadway. Despite the previous year's success of Levin's Deathtrap, Break a Leg closed after one performance. Reilly earned a 1997 Tony Award nomination as Best Director of a Play for the revival of The Gin Game, starring Julie Harris, . In 1990, he directed episodes of Evening Shade. Reilly also made guest appearances in the 1990s on The Drew Carey Show, The Larry Sanders Show, Family Matters, Second Noah, and as eccentric writer Jose Chung in the television series The X-Files ("Jose Chung's From Outer Space"), Millennium ("Jose Chung's Doomsday Defense"), and occasionally as the voice of "The Dirty Bubble" in the animated series SpongeBob SquarePants, before he was replaced by Tom Kenny. Reilly was nominated for Emmy Awards in 1998 and 1999 for his performances in The Drew Carey Show and Millennium, respectively. Reilly was a longtime teacher of acting at HB Studio, the acting studio founded by Herbert Berghof and made famous by Berghof and his wife, the renowned stage actress Uta Hagen. His acting students included Lily Tomlin, Bette Midler, and Gary Burghoff. Reilly had a voice role in three films by Don Bluth: All Dogs go to Heaven as Killer in 1989, Rock-a-Doodle as Hunch in 1991, and A Troll in Central Park as King Llort in 1994. In each one, he played the villain's dim-witted sidekick. Magazine and newspaper profiles of Reilly throughout the 1970s and 1980s did not mention his personal life or sexuality. Many years after the cancellation of Match Game, he revealed his homosexuality in his theatrical one-man show, Save It for the Stage: The Life of Reilly.[7]
Much like fellow game-show regular Paul Lynde of the same era, despite Reilly's off-camera silence, he gave signals on-camera of a campy persona. In many episodes of Match Game, he lampooned himself by briefly affecting "YO!" in a deep voice and the nickname "Chuck" and self-consciously describing how "butch" he was. Many years after his game show career ended, he mentioned in a 2002 interview with Entertainment Tonight that he felt no need to explain his joke about "Chuck," and that he never purposely hid being gay from anyone. Patrick Hughes III, a set decorator and dresser, was Reilly's domestic partner; the two met backstage while Reilly appeared on the game show Battlestars, although their partnership was not revealed publicly. They lived together in Beverly Hills.[8] Despite sporting what appeared to be a full head of hair for most of the prime of his television career, Reilly was in fact bald, wearing a toupée throughout most of his appearances in the 1970s and 1980s.[citation needed] During the taping of Match Game 74, his toupée became the joke of the filming when Reilly had to go to NYC to have his toupée adjusted. During the taping of several episodes, Reilly was seen wearing different hats because his toupée was back in NY waiting for him to be fitted. This was the start of the long-running jokes on Match Game about his hair. He abandoned the toupée in the late 1990s and appeared bald in public for the rest of his life. He dramatized the experience in his stage show, The Life of Reilly.[citation needed] In one episode of Match Game '78 he took off his toupee and gave it to a bald contestant by putting it on his head. You can briefly see Reilly's bald head as he rushed back to his seat and put on a hat to cover up. Reilly spent his later life primarily touring the country directing theater and opera, and offering audiences a glimpse into his background and personal life with a critically acclaimed one-man play chronicling his life, called Save It for the Stage: The Life of Reilly.
In 2004, his final two performances of his play in North Hollywood, California were filmed as the basis for an autobiographical independent film titled The Life of Reilly.[9] Reilly was ill with respiratory problems while filming The Life of Reilly, and retired from directing and performing immediately after the final day of shooting. The show premiered in March 2006 at the South by Southwest film festival, and Reilly's performance in the film received great acclaim. Reilly canceled his personal appearance at South by Southwest due to illness, and by the time the film premiered, he had been hospitalized. Reilly died of pneumonia at his home on May 25, 2007, and his body was cremated.[10] That weekend, the Game Show Network was dedicated to Reilly, airing his funniest episodes of Match Game. He began his career in A Face in The Crowd in 1957 in an uncredited role. Goof Troop is his DTVA debut and he voiced Minos in Hercules The Animated Series. Tom & Jerry in Shiver Me Whiskers as Red Parrot Stan was his final acting credit. He has 65 Acting credits, 8 Soundtrack credits, 1 Writer, Art Department and Music Department credit apiece, 90 Self credits, and 5 Archive Footage credits to his resume. Anyhow; Pete grabs his hammer and raises him into the air. Dutch protests this outrage and introduces himself. Pete introduces himself and fires him. Dutch is dropped on his ass and looks mighty confused as Pete yells at him to scram as his services are not needed anymore. So we finally see Goofy as his metal rope tie falls down to his ankles and Goofy greets, trips and pratfalls on his face. HAHA! A professional at work, indeed! The hammer goes flying out of Goofy's hand and MURDERS Pete on the head again; because concussions are funny, you see. Dutch protests this because Peg hired him; so Pete blows him off because she isn't here, so go fish! This would have been funny if Dutch Spackle went to the dock and went fishing after Pete said this line; only for Pete to yell at him to vacate the premises; but Pete already yells at him to vacate the premises; so the joke doesn't catch. Pete grabs a container of paint thinner and thrusts it into Dutch's hands. Dutch explains that it's his special blend paint thinner; but Pete takes him and throws him right onto the docks, then Pete slingshots Dutch's toolbox and the box bonks off Dutch's head and the tools spread around in a circle around him.
So we cut to a side door as Pete is looking for something in between the door as Goofy profusely apologizes for taking this man's job. HAHA! Pete dumps boards, buckets and boxes into Goofy's hands and assures him that Goofy is twice the professional that Dutch Spackle is. I don't think Pete Pete has any idea what that means. Pete also stuffs a ladder and a bucket of peppermint pink paint; which disappears on the next shot when Pete and Goofy go around the house; which has at least one broken window. Pete explains what he wants done to the house which including nailing down flower boxes, fixing trim, repair the porch railing and re-hang the door. Which Goofy course; confuses that with ringing a door bell. Pete finds two peppermint pink paint buckets on the ground and puts them on the boards. Because you see; Goofy is doing all the work while Pete gets all the glory. Remember that in storyline; Goofy is getting paid here and not Pete; so Pete doesn't have to do any work. However; it's a bad idea. Not because Pete is a lazy heel; but because...Well; you'll see soon enough. Goofy is shoved away stage left as he brings out his out of nowhere Ultra-fin. Wait; I thought that motor boat was Pete's and the thing was already mounted to the back of the boat. That makes no sense. Pete wanting to do a trial run of the thing makes sense; but still. You couldn't have Pete just say that and walk towards the docks with the thing on the back of the motorboat? You really think kids are this stupid?! We discover that there is a trout called Steely Mouth who will never stand a chance. Oh wait; I know why he dismounted the Ultra-fin. He wanted to spin the thing because Pete! Cut to Dutch on the docks throwing his hammer into the lake as the phone rings. Dutch answers the phone. Three guesses as to who is calling and the first two do not count. Yeap; it's Peg as Dutch is trying to explain that his husband has swindled him out of his job (let alone his payday); but Pete boots him into the conventienly placed green dilapidated boat in the water (sadly; it's not Matt Hardy's) which was never shown in the first shot of this scene. DUMB! Pete grabs the phone as he claims Dutch is right here as Pete boots the green boat away as it skips out of sight. Pete has his fishing rod and we clearly hear it click; and so can Peg as she screams at him to not go fishing. Pete calls him Sugar-Shins and asks if he would break a promise. Answer: Of course!
Pete kisses at the phone and then hangs up instantly; and then Pete proclaims that what she cannot see, cannot hurt her. I'm pretty sure most women would dispute that claim profusely. Pete walks to the motorboat with the Ultra-fin and then the phone rings seconds later. Pete drops the fishing rod and goes to the phone and answers it. Pete answers and it's Peg just checking. HAHA! Pete hangs the phone and then dismisses this as a one off. Ummm; I wouldn't be so sure about that, Pete Pete. So Pete climbs into his white motorboat and I swear that he threw the Ultra-fin in the drink with the fishing rod. We get a long sequence of Pete backing out from the docks and driving it into the middle of the lake. Cut to a shot of a purple fish with pink spot jumping up from the water into the water. Cut to Pete driving the motorboat addressing the fish as Steely Mouth. Geez; I'm disappointed; I thought this fish would be metallic grey as there is a harpoon mounted to the front of the boat. Then the telephone rings as Pete is forced to turn around; but panics as Goofy runs in to answer the phone. Yes folks; there are cliff hanging us on us as Pete (the heel) doesn't want Goofy (the babyface) to answer the phone at the segment ends nine and a half minutes in. This is already better than TaleSpin's Your Baloo's In The Mail, although that episode got killed by a terrible finish and ending more than everything else. This is just a cute, fun episode of Pete swindling everyone and in this case, there's nothing wrong about that.
After the commercial break; we see Goofy make it to the phone on the docks. The phone is ringing at the same time Pete is panicking on his motorboat. Pete pleads for Goofy the nincompoop to turn back; because he'll answer the phone. Pete turns the boat around as I realize that it would have been funnier if Pete called Goofy a nincoomgoof. Goofy has the phone and says hello; so Pete bumps the motorboat into the dock; causing it to break so much that Goofy takes a whacky bump into the drink. HAHA! Now that's more like it, Goofster! The phone floats in mid air just as Pete jumps down and grabs it. It's Peg on the phone, of course as Pete lies that he was just being happy on the phone for her. Yeah; I'll bet. He also does the worst Goofy laugh in history as Peg apparently heard the motorboat; which Pete lies is Dutch's sander. Pete tells Peg he needs to get back to work and hangs up. Goofy gets onto the dock and Pete order him back to work and no more touching the phone. Oh come on, Pete; he's wasn't going to make love with it, I swear to God! Scene change to the house as Goofy puts up a steel ladder with rope on it while humming a tune. Goofy puts a cover covered with paint on the ground and does the Goofy laugh to amuse me. He hooks a bucket of paint thinner on the ladder humming some more and looks for the book of doom which is called "How To Paint" in red ladders complete with a picture of a bucket of blue paint and a red handled brush. Sadly; the thing and the toolbox propping it up is next to a tree; so Goofy goes over and grabs it; the rope has snagged his ankle and is pushing the ladder up into the sky. Well; the part of it with the bucket of paint thinner attached by a hook. Goofy takes the red handled brush and opens the book as we get the old "How To..." narrator routine we always heard from the cartoon shorts (Corey Burton is providing the voice here). So Goofy goes over to the ladder following the directions the narrator gives us. Problem is; the paint bucket is no longer at ground level, so he's basically pretending to follow the directions while acting like he's doing it while reading the book. HAHA! Goofy then looks past the book and there is no paint on the siding as the narrator tells us that if it flows too smoothly; you need more paint. Goofy then notices that the paint bucket is missing; and calls it disappearing paint. Well; he's partially right about that as he looks up to notice the bucket high in the sky. Goofy reads and climbs the ladder like an idiot.
The narrator cuts a promo as the rope snags the ladder and pushes the high part of the ladder causing Goofy to push off the ladder and somehow hang himself upside down for no reason and then hangs right side up as he flies high into the air and where he lands; do we really care? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh...nope. Goofy is reading in midair just to be Goofy of course. The rope is gone; the wind whistles, Goofy looks at the ground like an idiot and gets WARNERED; remember to do about four flips in the process. (Darkwing Duck: Showoff!) The ladder sticks up the top of his paints as the peppermint pink bucket of paint is grabbed on the rebound and the ladder crashes right into the roof of the house. Ladder rungs get shattered in the process; but the roof suffers surprisely little damage as a result. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Goofy then slices through the house side. YAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! The paint goes flying out of the bucket, causing Goofy (wearing a tutu made of roof titles) to panic as he literally becomes nonsense on silts as he catches the paint; but the silts bonk into a tree stump (of course). He trips, the bucket lands on his head and the paint flies and covers the entire house as a result. You got all that?! Book bonks off his bucket and head which somehow dented the bucket. Riiiggggghhhhtttt! The narrator asks if that wasn't easy and Goofy laughs and says yes. So we head to the front door as Goofy is sanding the house door with a belt sander. See; Pete was right all along! I hope that was Dutch's sander; just for Pete to rub it into Peg some more. Goofy tries to turn off the sander; but it sparks and it's out of control much to Goofy's protests. Thankfully; Goofy switches it off and puts it down on the wooden floor as Goofy taps the door with a hammer; which somehow causes the sander to turn on again. Geez; there's a lawsuit forthcoming for that defective sander; and probably a wooden plank laying to follow soon after that. The sander destroys Goofy's chair of course in revenge. HAHA! Goofy's breaks the door off it's hinges and then jumps cuts to Goofy running away from said sander. Huh? What happened there? The sander unplugs from an extension cord and Goofy goes into the garage with it. Goofy then bashes the sander on the ground and it keeps acting like it's still plugged. Geez; that is one Creepypasta sander there as Goofy brings out a wooden box and the sander gets stuffed and sat down by Goofy, in that order.
Then we get breathing a sigh of relief, wiping off sweat and a lot of smoke. Uh-oh! GOOFY REDNECK ON FIRE~! HAHA! Goofy hits ceiling (which thankfully is not glass) and we cut back to the motorboat with Pete doing tests with the Ultra-fin as Dutch Spackle returns in the green dilapidated boat (I betcha that's the guy Matt Hardy bought his boat from) pleading for Pete to come back with him. Pete blows him off because Steely Mouth is down there somewhere. Dutch is stammering, trying to point out to Pete that disaster has struck the lake house; but Pete blows him off and tells him to go away basically. Pete then looks at the house and we clearly see it is on fire. Somehow. I say that because Goofy was in the garage and it was on fire; as Goofy screams for help. Pete blows off Dutch; Dutch tries to blow off Pete; but the motorboat splooshes him with water. Hey, Dutch, go follow his advice and then find a phone and call Peg up. Not only will you get your revenge on Pete for screwing you; you can also throw the "what you can't see, can't hurt you" attitude of Pete right back in his face as a punchline for the whole gag. Pete lands the motorboat at the dock and jumps out. He runs in yelling at Goofy who is literally fanning the flames outside. HAHA! Pete grabs a bucket of paint thinner, thinking that it's water as Goofy pleads for him not to throw it into the fire. Yes folks; Goofy is only officially SMARTER than Pete in this setup. AWESOME! Pete no sells; throws it into the fire. We cut to a far shot of a nuclear explosion (Riiigggghhhhtttttt...That means the letter bomb from On A Wing & A Bear look ultra-realistic in comparsion.) causing Goofy and Pete to fly onto the docks on their backs. Surprisely; only the garage burns to the ashes while everything is perfectly intact. Riiiigggggghhhhtttttt. That paint thinner has more selective memories than Donald Trump. And I mean that in the nicest way of course. Pete apparently left him alone for fifteen lousy minutes as Goofy begins to beg off because this is PETE PETE we are talking about. Oh; and I say his name twice, because Pete is his last name and his first name. I didn't make the names up here. Of course, the phone rings before Pete can even make a move on Goofy. Saved by Peg "Legs" Pete! Pete of course answers the phone; instead of leaving her hanging. She's coming home tomorrow instead of Monday now as Pete groans, kiss-kiss and then hangs up.
Pete is now panicky because Peg is coming home tomorrow. Geez; I wonder why. Maybe it has something to do with hearing the evidence of the truth in the background, which is not coming out of Pete's mouth. Nor his ass. Pete has to rebuilt a garage in a day as Dutch returns mocking Pete and then shows a "DIY Garage Book" for fun. Pete takes the book; likes the idea and then boots the dilapidated boat away as it probably skips to Cameron, North Carolina. Somehow. So we scene change to the same shot at the beginning of this scene; only it's BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (Sunset) as Goofy is sitting on the porch bench near the door as Pete paces around wanting that cock-a-mamie kit? Goofy tells Pete not to worry; because it will be here before dark. And literally three seconds later; a red truck comes in, the hatch opens and out comes a wooden box with fragile on it. Cut to a shot of the lake with the birds chirping in the background, which we never see. Pete says it's here and it's time to go as we go into AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and lord knows, this is the most wonderful time when a goof is around. So we fade to black and we hear hammering and crashing sounds in the background. So yes; the animators are so cheap that we never are going to get a montage of the two guys hammering and crashing into each other. I guess in 1992; you allowed the kids to use their imaginations, which doesn't really work when you are watching television because if I wanted to do that, I would just read a book which is basically the same thing using the words as helpful hints to what is going on. We hear a lot of yelling, screaming and getting nailed in the process. I wish I was kidding; but that is what happened. We hear a rooster crow as we get a sunrise; which involves just removing the shadows and a rooster crowing. We then see Goofy and Pete in a crumbled heap on the ground, snoring loudly. Complete with more public domain music. It sounds like Quack Pack was stealing a lot of its cues from this show too. I shouldn't laugh at the next spot; but dammit it was funny: Pete wakes up after Goofy is sleeping swinging the hammer right onto Pete's head. That was one of the few times I didn't cringe at the spot; because it was unintentional.
Pete shoves Goofy and then recoils and looks at the house as they literally built a wooden windmill right beside the house. Now that's the garage of the future! I'm shocked Matt Hardy hasn't stolen that design. Yet. Goofy plays charades for a bit as Pete squeezes the hat because they sent the wrong kit. Of course! Goofy offers to paint it pink and Pete blows him off for that one, as Goofy has a pink little mind. HAHA! Pete claims that no one would be stupid enough to buy that; and then offers Goofy a brush and they go over to paint the windmill as Pete is painting the windmilll. The winds begin to pick up as leaves are flying around just to cover up the fact that the animation is not just there to suck. Pete gets bonked in the back of the head with a wooden windmill blade and it whips so hard that the wind mill is connected to the garage and it lifts the entire house into the sky. That foundation sucks, says I. Pete grabs the bottom of the house and screams that this isn't happening as Goofy cannot grab him back down and falls flat on his face. Pete is shoveling dirt with his legs as he slides onto the dock and it so happens that the phone rings right there. HAHA! Pete foolishly answers the phone while still grabbing onto the house frame and windmill; which by the way would have been impossible to fly away, much less Pete can grab it and sail with it. Pete is stretched out ala the squid from It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck as Pete is acting like TNA is fine; when of course, neither of them are fine. Total Nonstop Deletion on the other hand was the funniest fine show in history. Peg then informs us that she will be home in thirty minutes. So Pete panics and lets go of the phone as the house sails away and flies into the drink, and I'm now convinced that the DVD masters has this issue of freezing the scene for three seconds before the segment sixteen minutes in. Now this is more like it!
After the commercial break; We return as Goofy apparently saved Pete during the commercial break because we cut to him with Pete on the docks. Goofy is shaking Pete as this sad music is playing and there's no way I can take this seriously even if I tried. Pete doesn't like green jello as Goofy is telling Pete to pull himself together. Yes; Goofy is telling him this and he wonders why no one takes him seriously?! Pete finally clears the cobwebs and wonders what to do because Peg will be here at any minute now as Dutch Spackle returns with the green dilapidated boat mocking Pete again. Pete sobs as Dutch proclaims that he's a jerk and deserved it; but he's not the one to hold a grudge as he proclaims that someone is selling a cottage on the next island over yonder as Pete using the Ultra-fin and notices that it's exactly alike! Expect the dock is completely different since there are no power poles nor telephone. Uh-huh; like I'm going to buy that Peg is not going to notice that one. Sure, Pete; sure. Then we get the most laughable logic break in history: Pete proclaims that he's saved and he shoves Goofy into the motorboat. They sail and they arrive at the new cottage. Now it looks exactly like the original one; complete with corrected dock. You couldn't just not do the Ultra-fin shot of the property beforehand?! STUPID! Even more impossible: Pete opens the door to the new cottage and who answers the door? Why it's Dutch Spackle of course! Why yes; Dutch literally teleported here with no sign that he was headed back to the cottage. Again; this is dumb. Pete stammers like an idiot (that makes two of us officially then) as Pete begs for mercy and Dutch proclaims that he holds no grudge againest him; so he'll give him the house as long as he names his price. Pete offers him his used cars; but Dutch no sells; because his price is Pete's motorboat you see as Pete is sobbing like crazy now all while Goofy is waving at the motorboat. HAHA! Dutch proclaims that it's his decision as Pete gets the image of Peg yelling at him to come through this time. Pete sobs and finally decides to agree on the terms; because the WRATH OF PEG is much, much worse than the WRAITH OF BECKEY. Pete gives him the keys and Dutch calls it a good deal; and even offers to give him his dingy free of charge. TMI, Dutch! TMI! Dutch Mantell should have done this guy's voice, it would have been more fitting.
So we scene change to the thrilling scene of Goofy and Pete pushing the house onto the dingies while it is tied to a rope about to be towed by the motorboat now owned by Dutch Spackle. Dutch is in the boat telling them to move it a little to the left. Dutch starts the engines and the motorboat rides away stage left causing the house to bounce down the hill. The boat flops onto some dingy on the water; even though we don't see it until the house is already on the dingy when it splashes down. UGH! Dutch blows them off for nearly scratching his boat. HAHA! Pete is not amused as he now has to use the dilapidated boat now. HAHA! Goofy comes in with pink paint as Pete tells Goofy to paint while he drives. Goofy splashes paint from the bucket onto the house as Pete drives the boat; but the house is sinking into the lake as Dutch whizzes past Pete proclaiming that he'll never get there until next March; before splashing water with the motorboat on Pete and then riding off. HAHA! Pete then proclaims that he cannot buy a break. Maybe; if you didn't buy the Ultra-fin and actually listened to Peg, you wouldn't have to buy such a break. Pete orders Goofy to shut the windows and Goofy takes FOREVER...FOREVER to get in and shut one window and he's underwater with the fishes. HA! Goofy and fish stare at each other and panic and bail in that order. Cut to Pete on the boat as Dutch returns using the Ultra-fin as he sees an wavy-road as a blue car drives down it. Laughable logic break: Dutch calls it a purple car; but Pete still acts as if it's Peg coming down. Dutch then offers his container of paint-thinner because it's potent stuff. Oh come on; now! Pete pours the pink substance into the motor tank and it explodes and the motorboat speeds up so much that the boat rises above water level now as Goofy surfs the wave from behind the house. Of course! We then get the dreaded rope snapping spot as Goofy panics on cue. Goofy runs from the back of the house, over the roof and makes the leap of faith to grab the rope; using his feet to grab onto the sill of the window. As this is going on, Steely Mouth jumps up and gets caught in Goofy's shirt as it's tail whacks Goofy in the face. Pete is shocked and then foolishly walks on the rope towards Goofy. Why would you do that?! Because Pete is not only a slimy heel; he's also stupider than Goofy, if that was humanly possible!
Goofy then yells at Pete to watch out as the motorboat ramps off the windmill garage roof and previous house (Yeah; like Peg is so not going to notice this!) as the dilapidated boat crashes into the docks; ramps up and shatters right on where the former house used to be. (Matt Hardy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!) The house flies into the air and it lands right on top of Pete as Goofy somehow changed direction 180 degrees and flies towards a mountain peak. WHAT?! The blue car finally stops near the mail box and Peg gets out as she sees the house is perfectly intact. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We zoom into the window in the basement as it opens and out comes an arm with Steely Mouth in the arm's hand. Wait; so Pete got a break after all! Damn! Sadly; this lasts about three seconds as Steely Mouth pops from the hand and bounces down the hill and into the water. He throws a raspberry and swims away; never to be seen again. I think. He might have been in Slightly Dinghy for all I know. Pete pops from the pink house outraged by this insult as Peg is so happy to see him anyway, because the house looks so perfect. Peg hugs and kisses Pete on cue while Pete stammers like an idiot. In comes a black limo car and out comes a giant woman cat with a yellow dress and blue pants with pink ankle warmers and white shoes; along with a lion like cat wearing an orange baseball cap, white shirt, white shorts with orange trim with orange/white sneakers. We have exactly one minute to go in this episode believe it or not. The buyers are Mr./Mrs. Sherbert by the way as we meet and greet. Mrs. Sherbert (April Winchell or Cathryn Perdue) calls it perfect and Mr. Sherbert (Rob Paulsen) calls out his boys in bulldozers and they level the house right down to the ground. Wait; WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?! Pete is shocked because they don't want the house. The Sheberts hate the house; but wanted the land anyway as they walk off stage left. Pete is whimpering beyond belief here and his tears are so delicious as Peg is consoling him because he did such a wonderful job. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Peg HAD to know this was coming; there's no way she can be that stupid. She did this just to force Pete about something other than himself; and dammit to hell it worked so well. Peg brings out the captains version of a present and opens it to reveal a white captain's hat and puts it on Pete's head. Pete is stammering and whimpering like there is no tomorrow.
Captain Obvious: THAT...was difficult to watch. But so wonderful at the same time.
Thank you; now go back to shilling for Misplays of The Month on Sportsnet 360, Captain Obvious! So we head back as Peg and Pete are sitting as apparently; the dilapidated boat magically repaired itself in between scenes. It's official! That is the boat Broken Matt Hardy bought! It's sunset now as they hug and kiss as they are being towed by Dutch Spackles' motorboat. So Dutch stops the boat and has a butterfly net as he shows it to the couple asking if they want to go another fifteen minutes. They ponder it over and Pete asks Peg: You have five bucks? I died. Peg puts the money in the net and we continue on with the kissy-kissy stuff. Awwwww! My heart melted. The motorboat drives away as horns are honking to end the episode at 21:18. Now this was a great episode and how Your Baloo's In The Mail should have went. Although; what happened to Goofy? They never showed any of that. Dammit! *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Okay; now this was a much more fun episode than Axed By Addition; mainly because Pete literally got his comeupparance for his behavior in so many ways; and still looked like the dumbest man on the planet. The third act was glorious and the set up was much more fun this time around. Sure; there were logic breaks and we didn't know what happened to Goofy after the Team Rocket exit; but this was a funny episode at Pete acted like a heel and paid for it like one. This is how to do the plot; which is something even TaleSpin couldn't pull off. How many episodes can say that they can do a redo plot better than TALESPIN?! Very few actually. The dilapidated boat in this was so awesome that I'm sure that it's serving Matt Hardy well as we speak; especially at the end of this episode. The finish to this was glorious and I'll say this about Goof Troop: If the episode setups weren't so tedious; this show would be godlike; because the payoffs to these episodes were great. Goofy was Goofy of course; because that is what he is and Dutch Spackle was great as well; although the voice should have been recasted to Zeb Coulter (Dutch Mantell everyone). Overall; this was an ultra fun episode and I loved it in spite of it's slow as molasses pacing. Well; sitcoms are like that, so I shouldn't be surprised. The next episode up for grabs is You Camp Take It With You as the males must take the boys camping because Peg said so. Well; if Peg said so, then it must be a good thing, right?!
Captain Obvious: Yes, and Gregory returns to work this Friday!
TMI, Captain Obvious! TMI! So....
Thumbs in the middle episode and I'll see you all next time.