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Reviewed: 01/15/2017
Far Encounters Of The Rookie Writers.
Okay, we head to the second to last episode on the disc, but for ranting purposes, it's the final one as Max and PJ channel Baloo and Kit in War Of The Weirds, only using television and making everyone look like idiots. Yeah; this really happened. So how does this episode fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Jeff Saylor and story edited by Jymn Magon. Jeff's resume: X-Men, Bonkers and Goof Troop. That's it and it's becoming a trend now. The animation was done by Walt Disney Animation Australia PTY, Limited.
We begin this one with a closeup shot of a coat hanger stuck to a wooden block with a giant marble that looks like Jupiter pasted poorly with glue (along with other white marbles) as the title of the episode is in cheese color with red outlines for diamonds. PJ cuts a promo about the solar system as he picks up the model and the Jupiter model snaps from the coat hanger and smashes onto the floor off-screen. Max claims that Mars fell out of orbit, take eleven. Even though it looks nothing like Mars and it's bigger than all of the other planets. The other three are white and nothing like any planet I have seen. So PJ sticks the marble back as we jump cut to Max in a lawn chair with Pete's sunglasses on throwing playing cards -- for no reason -- claiming that this is totally tweaked. So this idea was tweaked by Mick Foley? I find that hard to believe, Max. Max is trying to throw the cards into a red baseball cap and missing every time. Max then rubs the cards and none of them go into the hat; including the tease from the four of diamonds. Even with the tease, it was clear it wasn't going in. Max is flustered as PJ claims that this is fun. Yeah; it's fun to change the Jupiter marble into a white marble when holding the model Peej. The white marble drops as Max blows it off because it's making his eyes yawn. Geez; now they are admitting that this show makes my eyes yawn. PJ defends his model and model screws him. Max points out the obvious and PJ needs to ace this science test by having something flashier and more pizzaz. Yeah; because no teacher on Earth is going to give high marks for facts and proving the evidence. It's a beauty contest, you see. Max does a dance on the desk while spewing 1990's kid words that went out of style the second he said it. Oh; and we get Chevy Novas; which I guess is under the copyright archive portion of the deal. Or they are part of the MPAA and thus can ignore their own ideas. Either one is acceptable. Needless to say; PJ is not amused. PJ and Max scheme and Max deduces that they need to make a video for the science project as PJ likes this idea and then realizes that this is going to take time and work and he doesn't like it. See how relatable PJ is to the kids, critics of the world? I can hear the execs saying that right now. Max tells PJ to trust him; and it's so sarcastic that it makes me want to not trust him at all. At least Kit was serious enough to act like I could trust him.
So we scene change to outside a building containing a ballerina school and we head inside as Goofy is doing balancing moves and struggling with them mightly; while the dance instructor (Charlie Adler in his Howard Huge voice) (a Goofy clone with brown hair wearing a white shirt, purple coat, pink scarf, purple pants, pink legwarmers and cyan blue shoes. The kind of guy who bigots would hate I might add.) with cane is telling him to push harder and harder. Think creative and visualize, he says. No sir; you do not want Goofy to think creative. That is asking for trouble. Apparently; this dancer is actually teaching Goofy how to be a mime. Is Goofy auditioning for a silent film? Because if he is then (a) no one cares about silent films anymore even if they love silence in their movies and (b) That kills the redneck scream and chuckle which are a third of Goofy's good points. a 66% Goofy is a Pod Goof. I'm just saying. So we scene change to Goofy pratfalling on his face and the teacher clapping and praising him. Of course; Goofy didn't even grunt, so that's why. Next; it's time to practice the mime cards. I should note that the teacher pronounces it as meme with the first "i" in mime changed to a "e". So yes; he invented the word meme to be abused on the internet for all of eternity. Lovely! So we show off cards as Goofy does the scissors pose and looking goofy while doing it; which is fitting by the way. Then the tree pose. Then the chicken pose as he breaks the law of the mime by doing the rooster call with sound effects. Mimes aren't supposed to make any sounds; so mimicking Chargeman Ken's sound (as in no sound effects) makes perfect sense here. Cameo: Donald Duck's face shows up in the next card for the duck pose. Goofy's reaction is priceless here; thinking "Isn't that copyright infringement, master?" as he hides like a coward. Teacher doesn't care; he loved it. HAHA! Goofy gets up as the teacher proclaims that he has passed the Arthur Humanities School Of Street Theater. He gives Goofy a diploma and Goofy is so happy to inform Max of this as the teacher helps him up and tells him to get a flashy costume to go out with and dazzle Max with your miming skills. Hey; Goofy as a mime is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Max and PJ making a video about a science project: Opposite of money. Goofy salute him as the teacher tells him not to talk; so Goofy covers his mouth. Goofy and teacher walk out the door as the teacher squeals before this.
The teacher also tells him to look out for talent agents as I discover that the teacher is wearing Mickey Mouse gloves. He tells Goofy to reach for the stars as Goofy says okay-dokay and then proceeds to trip and tumble down the stairs. The teacher closes the door declaring that he has trained another genius. Who obviously has a second talent in slapstick miming. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Scene change to Goofy's residence as we head inside Max's room as he's setting up a scene involving a lot of planets, white cloth and a step ladder. Why yes folks; Max and PJ's science project is a science fiction project, which is fitting considering how much of a load of fiction Disney spews on a regular basis. PJ points out that you cannot invade Earth in blue jeans. Max is hanging planet models as he claims that he'll come up with something. He always does...which always makes him look sleazy. In comes Goofy wearing a silver bodysuit and mask; looking like the Silver Surfer. Okay; I think we can now concede that "Dial M For Monkey" segment with the Silver Spooner was banned because Silver Spooner had gay overtones. Which is good because it proves that bigotry was the cause and not censorship by copyright that caused it, and thus I can safely say that it was totally unjustified and that moral guardians are terrible human beings that are demons in blessed robes. As usual. Max whispers yells to PJ that Goofy was talking a pantomime class as PJ asks what he is wearing and Goofy claims that it's tinfoil. I think we have out first literal example of someone wearing a tinfoil hat and not using it as a device to keep evil out. Goofy is heading downtown to perform and asks Max if he wants to come. Max no sells because he has to help PJ with his homework. And really; that is a totally reasonable response, so kudos to Max for finding a reasonable reason to not embarrass himself in front of Goofy again. Goofy sighs; but then recoils and wants to reach for the stars. And then zips his lips; because mimes don't talk, you see. Max is not amused as PJ is liking this routine and then Max grabs him by the arm and drags him into the bedroom. Goofy waves as we jump cut to Max throwing out stuff from a closet like a Wuzzle. Max takes out a video camera and then is flustered because it requires a VCR and theirs is broken. Goofy forgot to buy a VCR after Midnight Movie Madness? Geez; money must be tight now, which explains why Goofy is talking mime classes.
So Max gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and proclaims that they'll use PJ's VCR; and PJ blows him off because if Pete finds out, they'll get plastered. Wait; so he's going to make you drink alcohol?! What a criminally assholish monster this Pete is? And speaking of the evil one himself; he's in the backyard making cement with a trovel and a plank as Peg calls out for him. Pete is scraping the stuff on the brick BBQ as Peg comes in with a mug of coffee asking if it's the pottery kiln that Pete promised her. Pete (wearing a white apron) claims that it's a barbecue designed to roast an ostrich. Peg bails to get some food ready and actually doesn't get angry as she gives Pete the mug of coffee. Pete drinks it and he goes nuts as he basically vomits on screen. Pete demands to know what this is; while claiming to like it as Peg claims that it's Tasmanian tar roast coffee that was on sale and she bought fifty pounds of it. The coffee is so acidic that it eats through the mug, shatters the mug and drops onto the ground making molten lava in a circle. Even Rebecca Cunningham would never stoop to this low in terms of being a jerk as Pete ponders it over and decides to use the coffee as charcoal lighter. So we scene change to Pete still cementing his BBQ as Max and PJ come out with the VCR. Pete says morning to them and then recoils and realizes that they have the VCR and calls them out on it. Max and PJ stop as PJ is holding the VCR claiming that he needs the VCR for a science project. Pete demands to know where the ping pong balls, which makes me realize that Pete was actively trying to get PJ to flunk this project. What a nice asshole Pete was there?! PJ admits that he's making a science fiction video instead; because you see, teacher are grading this project on looks, not science. So who cares if this is a fantasy? Pete no sells the deal because he's the father and is king of this castle, thus the VCR is his property and thus Pete hates to share, you see. Max is flustered as PJ sort of understands Pete's pateriarchy which is no ugiler than the real life version of it. Pete orders PJ to put it back and both kids enter the living room with the VCR. PJ proclaims that they'll have to do the model after all; but Max decides to end-around Pete by proclaiming that they'll just plug the VCR in Pete's house and do the science project in Pete's house. Which actually is a smart move on Max's part.
So we scene change to both properties being littered with black wire as the wire is going down the chimney. Now; this makes no sense because how can Pete not notice this?! Anyhow; we head into the living room as Max is hooking up the VCR and PJ is questionning this hookup. Max claims it was a piece of cake as we look at the back and the back looks absoluely nothing...AND THE ROCKS SAYS NOTHING like the front. Bad, bad form there Walt Disney Animation Australia. He also claims that most adults are techno-wimps compared to kids. Sadly; I have to concede that point to him, since I'm a wimp when it comes to smartphones. Max puts in a videotape and proclaims that they return to Max's bedroom to film it. Why not just film it in PJ's room? Then you don't have to waste all that black cord and not run the risk of Pete noticing you using his VCR. Max pushes a button and leaves; but somehow the red satellite dish button glows red as we cut to Pete at the BBQ cementing it further as we pan over to the satellite dish as the icon on the base of it glows red. The satellite dish rotates and it destroys the chimney of the BBQ and buries Pete in the rubble. HAHA! I see Max has exposed a fatal flaw in the positioning of your BBQ there, Pete Pete. Pete is not buried as I thought he was and blames it on cheap cement. BS&P RULEZ~! Cut to a street where the purple dressed old lady and her baby are on the sidewalk sitting on a bench and in a carriage -- in that order-- reading a newspaer and doing nothing -- in that order --. In comes Silver Surfer Goofy wondering where to find an audience. He notices the woman and the baby (with red hair) as he's thinking in his mind because he's a mime and refuses to speak. A great promo when you cannot talk. Goofy goes over to the baby and does the chicken dance on the baby. Baby is not thrilled to see him as he pulls on Goofy's nose and slingshots him into a trashcan. Yeah, whatever. So we head back to Max's bedroom with lots of black cord outside as Max praises Goofy for coming up with a good idea as PJ is tinfoiling himself into an alien. Awww; this is not going to end well for everyone involved, I just know it. Max is already covered in tinfoil as he adjusts the camera as we get a shot of the fakest alien spaceship outside of Planet 9 From Outer Space. Max and PJ get in; push lights on and uses a fire extingisher to make a lot of smoke/foam because that's the Z-grade way of making fog effects. Peachy!
Max then tells PJ to talk weird and make threats; despite the camera clearly being on, so yes; Max has zero idea how to make a movie. Oh wait; Max has a remote control and turns the camera on with zoom in. So Goofy and Max cut space fiction promos like they are going out of style. Considering how low rent this looks; no one should be buying this at all. In War Of The Weirds; Kit and Baloo got away with this because it was on the radio and "Theatre of the Mind" effect rules were in place, which made the whole thing a lot more believable and realistic. You cannot get away with it if you have visuals because unless you are a movie professional who knows the ins and outs of how to make the thing look real; there's no way you can make this believable to the point where no one believes that these are just two kids making a movie. This is like Night Of Horror; only less believable because we know the thing is fake. So in the end; it makes everyone from here on out, look like total idiots. So we sky shot pan over to Pete at the BBQ as we hear the promos from the kids as the thing is being broadcasted by satellite throughout the planet Earth. PJ makes a reference to C3PO from Star Wars. I believe Max's name is based on a model of a VHS tape. Basically; the guise of this is that the tinfoil aliens are from a planet three zillion light years away (killing the believability of this in the process. Even trillion would work better here.) and they are taking over like the bWo; only I can believe Stevie Richards taking over pro wrestling then I could these two losers. Oh; and to kill the believability even more, PJ wants to close down all the schools. Like a bunch of aliens give a crap about something like that. So we head to Spoonerville's science building which halfway look like a prison on the outside. Head inside central control as three scientists and controllers are watching this. The short scientist in the middle of two Goofy clones all are holding cellphones and are talking to some general on the phone claiming that there is a signal coming from outer space. Yes folks; they bought it, hook, line and sinker. Cannot suspend my disbelief for this stupidty. Unpossible! By the way; I mention the look of the prison because two of the controllers look like punk versions of Max when he gets older; all wearing cyan blue leather suit jackets and ties. Max wants to speak with their leader and they want them to cooperate with their scout on the ground, or they'll dust them with a dust buster.
Dustman called; he wants him gimmick back, Max. The scientist (Frank Welker) looks ill as he claims that Max has gotten a sub-vacuous plutonic extricater, which is science speak for Goofy Killer~! The general yells in the phone and says panic at the end as the scientist proclaims that he hopes the public doesn't see this. Yeah; because it would be very bad since this episode is using Double Darkwings logic here as we cut to a store with no sign on it as a bunch of denizen are gathering outside looking at a television and watching Max's really Z-grade level school play. He calls the denizens, earthnoids as the scout has super powers. Well; I guess if you are someone who bumps for a million guys, you can call that a super power. Sadly; I'm certain he can not destroy buildings with a wave of his hand. Cause damage with his body? Oh, hell yeah! Everyone gasps in shock as Silver Surfer Goofy walks in and sees a whole crowd. Uh-oh! Goofy goes over and poke a female cat with glasses on, on the shoulder. She turns around and starts to blow him off; then gets the lightbulb of bloody clairty, turns around screams. The crowd instantly panics and walks backwards in fear and contriveness. Goofy is happy about them being a captive audience; although he's using it in a different context to everyone else here, even though Goofy's context is more accurate than theirs. So Goofy mimes for a while as the crowd is talking and unable to bail for some reason. In comes the science talk that looks like a television network truck as the three scientists open the door; and the small scientist thinks Goofy is making a force field. Yeah; he's making one to keep scummy quackmeisters like you who believe in stupid tinfoil alien from...
Staci: Don't say it!
Bradley: Uranus!
Staci:
Very mature, B-Man!
Goofy confuses them for being talent agents and quite frankly, they would be a million times more believable as talent agents than scientists. Goofy wonders about them as the crowd gets angry and someone in green overalls orders everyone to stop him. Goofy tells them to calm down in his mind and still does the redneck laugh even though he's thinking about it. Personally; I realize that it's impossible to have an accent when you think, but the redneck laugh is too funny to not be a thought. So Goofy gets tackled by the mob and they literally bury him with a denizen tomb. Wow; they really do hate Goofy. Which means Goofy is over and getting two movie releases. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAYUCK! Goofy is on bottom making jokes about Elvis as the scientists throw him into a padded cell in the back of the truck. Wait; so the science center was formally a mental hospital? Wow Disney, just wow. Goofy gets up as the doors close as he thinks about no autographs; as the truck speeds away as we end the segment 11 and a quarter minutes in. This was amusing but that's mostly because it's Goofy we are talking about. Otherwise; this is literally a poor man's War Of The Weirds; which is fine, but I would rather watch the real thing on TaleSpin.
After the commercial break; we head inside an interview room with Silver Surfer Goofy sitting down on a chair as a camera is pointed at him from above. Goofy does the metal twisting of his neck; making him the most believable alien of the three. How fitting this must be as Goofy thinks he's in a television studio as he gets up and looks at the camera wanting to do impression because it will make him a star. The fact that Goofy is already a star in real life makes this look hilarious in hindsight. So we head to the control room outside as the controller is watching from a monitor while the scientists are watching from the two-way glass window and taking down notes for my amusement. The short scientist is now claiming that he has the ability to actually lean against invisible gamma rays. So we continue back to the Z-grade movie with Maxamelting and C3PJ cutting promos demonstrating that they are calculating their attack; which is a lie since calculating requires loving math and these two don't like school stuff. They want to steal planes, food, national monuments and rednecks for anal testing. Okay; I made up that last part. We get shots of people in a bar, a child watching on television and we hear the kids from the streets as the denizens are waiting for an excuse to panic and run in a disorganized fashion. Apparently; cordless shaver, pogosticks and toothpaste are berserk buttons in Spoonerville. Surprisely; no one is panicking, although they are clearly confused. Scene change to Pete at the BBQ twerking. Yes folks; twerking. As in "bouncing the ass into the hard camera". Pete frames his BBQ like Kevin Nash and calls it the Rembrandt of Rotisseries. Yawn. Ron Popeil is much smaller and more effective than this one Pete Pete. In comes Pistol and Peg as Peg has a trash can lid with melted tinfoil on it; as even they are buying this alien invasion. I am very disappointed in you Peg "Leg" Pete. Pete blows her off for interupting him over a joke about tinfoil moon rocks; which in this case is in fact a joke. Pistol believes Peg; although that's understandable given her age. Pete cannot believe this and he's the one who's not an idiot. Pete blames Peg for encouraging her and Peg invokes the Rebecca Cunningham ear pull on Pete, only a lot more unjustified in her behaviour because Pete is right. No one in real life would believe this joke. Rebecca Cunningham wasn't buying Baloo's alien invasion in War Of The Weirds, so why is Peg buying into a Z-grade movie video.
Pete is dragged in protesting this outrage and he's got a point there. So they head inside to watch the Z-Grade movie as Maxamelting claims that they aren't joking. You are wearing tinfoil, Max. I can not take anything you say seriously. That look sucks! So Max shows a picture of a crater called Calamityville; implying that they blew up a fictional town. Max claims that he liked that town too and Spoonerville is next. You wish you were Goldberg, Max. Television fizzles out as we head to a news studio with a Goofy clone with wacky hair and ears wearing a blue suit with red bowtie proclaiming that this was shown just moments ago. He tells them not to panic; and then panics and screams to run for your lives crumbling paper in the air for added effect. What a bunch of idiots?! Pistol and Peg claim that they told him so. Yeah; you told them that you believe in this nonsense! Pete stammers as Peg tells Pistol to pack her thing because they are leaving right away; but Pete blows them off because they are staying. Now you would think: Pete is invoking Occam's Razor here and thinking this is all a joke. Nope! Pete has the trophy and he's staying because he's going to fight those scumbuckets. Okay; he's slightly less of an idiot than the rest of his family, so let him fight. I betcha he'll weasel his way out of this in the end. Prove me wrong, Pete. Prove me wrong. So we head to the space center as the scientists observe Goofy miming a typewriter pose. In comes a dark skinned catnose nurse wearing all green with pumps as she informs them that they have tracked down the signal and it's not coming from space and it's being sent from Earth. The short scientists takes the piece of paper; skims through it and proclaims that aliens have landed in Spoonerville. Remind me to get his license to practice science revoked. So we head back to Pete's property as Pete is bulldozing the front lawn while Peg is wearing a pillow on her midsection and a pot on her head. Yes; that is exactly what I see here. She calls Pete "peanut brittle" and still insists that they leave town. Pete is also wearing similar ridockulous armor as he no sells because a man's home is his castle and he using the alien excuse to build a moat. Pete cuts a promo on the aliens and then knocks down his RV to it's side. So yes; the RV does make another appearance on this show. Peg asks what he's doing as Pete claims he's building a blockade. Not the worst answer in this entire episode; but still really dumb.
So it's getting close to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as green helicopters are flying overhead with spotlights on which Pete deduces it's the aliens. Okay; that is really stupid because we clearly saw them in a Z-grade UFO earlier. Why would they have a helicopter? That should have been enough to clue them in that they are not aliens; but it's still enough for Pete and Peg to run into the house as Peg complains about the freezer not being defrosted. Cut to the sky with the army guys in the helicopter scouring the area and noticing Pete bulldozing and destroying the wooden fence and the BBQ. Pete proclaims that no one is grilling on this earth man's BBQ. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I believe you, Pete; I believe you. What an idiot?! He also destroys the boat on the next pass, too as the army guy in the helicopter proclaims that Pete has lost his mind. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. The pilot does call this fear. Nah; I call it utter hate for everything including himself. So Pete gets off the bulldozer and goes to the garage to find something to fill the moat; but he has no water, for some reason. However; he notices the fifty pound bag of Tasmanian Tar Roasted Coffee and brings it out of the garage. Damn; I knew that would get involved somehow. Pete pours the stuff into the makeshift moat he bulldozed as the helicopter guys are completely confused. Pete fills the moat badly and then goes into the garage to get a flare gun which looks like a legit bullet shooting gun. Pete comes out and shoots the gun at the moat which creates a giant fireball (thus proving it's a flare gun) and the coffee turns into a giant smoke halo which raises into the sky and the helicopter goes through the ring. Cut back to the pilot transmitting to headquarter that they found the alien landing site because they deduced that the smoke halo was a signal for the alien. Why would an alien need to do old fashion smoke signals?! At least the Jurals have technology that was five hundred years ahead of humans, and at least a thousand years ahead of the actual Jurals using the technology themselves. So Homeboy to Duck; send all units and return to the Z-Grade movie video of Max and PJ doing their stupid alien gimmick some more. Sadly; he doesn't say "Your base are belong to us"; which would have been funnier at the time than today; but it's not like this show is dated anyway. So Max shuts off the camera and the fog effects as he asks PJ is this was an A+ project.
Nah; this was a Z- project so much that even Bubba's grades in Bubba's Big Brainstorm were an improvement. PJ even references turning the Lincoln's Memorial into a video arcade. Oh, come on! How can anyone take this seriously as a serious alien invasion. Aliens don't give a crap about video arcades. This sounds like something kids would do as a prank on their spare time and they aren't even making an effort to make it sound believable. Max takes the mask off and wants to go watch the video tape. So we head outside as there are scientists, news crews, denizens and exactly one army guy in gear at Pete's house containing a moat. PJ and Max walk out of Goofy's house and then turn to their right as PJ's jaw just dropped in shock. Cut to a shot near a truck as a woman reporter with a microphone is being filmed and informing us that since the alien broadcasts began this afternoon, NASA has been able to capture this Martian scout. I'm guessing it's this branch of NASA in Brook Park, Ohio. That would make the most sense. They show the picture of Silver Surfer Goofy as the woman reporter (with hair that makes her look like Jeanette Miller) claims that the authorities now believe other aliens have landed here and are holding Pete Pete and his family captive. Somehow; this is partially true, if you believe Pete's annoyances towards the Goofs. There is a creepy bastard pervert leering at Jeanette Miller lookalike in the background; and she whacks him in the face with the microphone elbow and knocks him out. HAHA! Cut to the door with Pete opening the door behind a conveniently placed bunker. He drops into the bunker and peeps up from it to see a lot of light, a lot of police sounds and a lot of shadows of machines and people. In other words; a standoff that is going to turn ugly any minute now. Pete then fires his flare gun and destroys a jeep causing the Jeanette Miller lookalike to scream and bail stage right. I see who is enabling who here in terms of being a perverted creepy bastard. PJ cannot believe what has happened here as Max proclaims that they have to do something. PJ proclaims that it's time to fess up, which might have worked in War Of The Weirds because only Grogg believed that there were aliens and his superiors doesn't care at all and thus even if it was a hoax, nothing would happen to the babyfaces anyway. Max realizes this and wants to cover up by saving his dad. This ends the segment 16 and a quarter minutes in. This is a B-grade War Of The Weirds, only it requires everyone to look stupid in order to make it work, and none of them are dangerous enough to make the invasion hoax be such a bad idea. BS&P sucks also; but still...
After the commercial break; we head to the space center in Brook Park, Ohio near the barrier gate and then a pan shot of the area. Jump cut to Max climbing into a ventilation shaft as PJ asks if they even have Goofy in there. Max claims that it's NASA headquarters, so of course he is in there. Max tells him to hustle his buns and PJ sells; getting into the ventilation shaft. Cut to in a hallway as we open the vent from the wall and out comes PJ and Max. Only one screw is popped out; but the next shot contains all four screws on the ground. Cut to inside the control room as Goofy continues to do miming moves as the short scientist claims that something is bad here. In comes PJ and Max dressed up like Z-grade doctors calling this bad. You don't say?! I've heard of bad episode police; but never bad episode doctors. Short scientist demands to know who these two losers are and Max calls himself Doctor Maximillion (with glasses and a fake brown mustache) and his partner is Professor Peejfield (who looks more like an actual doctor; even though he clearly isn't.) are from the league of federated intergalatic body language. Also know as Mimes R'Us~! Yeah; I went there, so shoot me. Short scientist is confused by their presence as Goofy is contnuing to do mime poses because he's Goofy. Max claims that Goofy wants to cut out of there because he's not feeling well. Goofy is doing rooster and chicken poses for fun as Max claims that Goofy has the Cosmic Chicken Pox. The scientists ask if it's dangerous and all Max had to say is that it can kill you. Of course BS&P rules the roost so Max claims that your teeth get rearranged and ear wax melts. Wait; that when you are boxing, Max. Good thing everyone except the two fake aliens (Max and PJ) are idiots because this wouldn't work otherwise. Also you get House-itosis; which explains Pete building a moat at least. You also get a bloated liver and onions and male pattern baldness. Those are all symptoms I get on a regular basis. Oh; and it's catching. And yes; the scientist sell it like it is dangerous. Drake Mallard shooting his mouth is more contagious than this. How else would Darkwing Duck get that big of a fanbase?! Oh and the two taller scientists finally speak and they all bail in a panic. And to think; this was 1992. I wouldn't have brought Goofy as a space alien, let alone Max's disguise. Max and PJ come in and yell at Goofy to get out of here right now, but Goofy no sells and points to the camera.
Goofy walks out with Max as Max shows that everyone is gone and Goofy finally speaks for the first time in like fifteen minutes. PJ tries to explain that this isn't a TV tryout since Goofy mentions this; but Max covers his mouth as Goofy sits down. Why did you do that? Goofy wanted to make Max proud of him and Max claims that he is proud of him. Goofy blows it off because he was terrible and wouldn't never be on television despite being on television right now. That was in fact funny. Max claims that he will and stands him up. Umm; he already is on television, but I guess he meant in storyline so we head to Goofy's house as Goofy is shocked and appalled at all the damage Pete did to his house. Goofy wants to know what is going on as Max claims that they are filming a show at Pete's house. A science fiction classic. GooALF?! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Oh; and Max called the talent agents on it and they want Goofy to be part of the show. You know; this is one of the biggest reasons why I think Cape Suzette is the most rational world in DTVA history. Everyone in Spoonerville has to be stupider than Goofy Goof, even the normally smart Peg and Pistol, in order to make this plot work. So Goofy puts on his helmet as Max proclaims that he needs to make a grand entrance. Max gives PJ a fire extinguisher as we pan over to people moving and talking as we cut to Pete's bunker with the flare gun telling everyone to eat hot phosphrous and calling the aliens Venusian Varmints. Bigot. He fires it off the satellite dish and he's forced to dunk to avoid the shot. It destroys a window and he bails like a HB character on steroids, getting off two more death references. He bangs on the door he barricaded like a total idiot. This lead to a great idiot spot: Pistol and Peg set up a rolling pin on a Rube-Goldbergish device. Pete breaks down the door. Peg slingshots rolling pin and Pete bonks into rolling pin and somehow flies out of the house like a rocket. That is so great and so utterly stupid at the same time. Mythbuster would debunk this myth in a second. In real life; the rolling pin would either bonk off Pete and land with Pete getting knocked out; or it would go through Pete like a bullet. The second one will never happen in DTVA; the first one might depending on they frame the shot. Peg admits that she screwed up and then Peg and Pistol run out; grab Pete by the ankles and drag him into the house; locking the door. Pete of course is concussed.
Pete wants to stay for cartoons as if he is a kid now. Personally; him being a child in this state is a lot better than him trying to pretend that he's an adult. Pete shakes some of the cobwebs as he asks Pistol for a nice glass of water. Pistol completely no sells because she's not thirsty. Because you cannot tell him that he dug up the pipes in the lawn with his moat?! That either makes no sense, or Pistol is a jerk. So the scientist is yelling from a megaphone saying that they come in peace and want to talk to them. Pete gets pissed off and bounces around calling them purple people eaters. I wish the scientists were wearing purple; just to make my life complete. So Pistol opens the door and we get a charming sequence of Peg shooting veggies and fruits at the news crew outside including the dreaded watermelon on a Goofy clone. That...was...racist. Also a lot of meat flies around as everyone runs in a disogranized fashion. Then we get the most disgusting moment in Pete's life: He calls them solar-sissies and throws a bowling trophy which bounces off the head of Jeanette Miller...ERRR...I mean, Danielle Wrathmaker as she signs off before falling to the ground, probably dead, certainly knocked out. So a fridge gets thrown out as Pete takes a cream pie to the face as a result. Not enough karma, guys! I mean; Pete assaulted a woman with a trophy on camera in a fit of paranoia. Horrible! Somehow; this pie knocks him out. Screw you, writers! False equalivance by a damn mile! Pistol fires a plunger arrow and a Goofy clone takes it on the nose. Sadly; it's not Max Goof. Then everyone stops because Max is cutting a promo claiming that the alien has escaped. Cut to the roof as we see Goofy on the roof as everyone gasps. He has a rocket pack on (the same one from Meanwhile, Back On The Ramp, natch.) as Goofy is losing his balance as Max wants to interpert for him. Sadly; it won't be half as funny as John Cena translating Kenzo Sazuki's promos as Max claims that he cannot stand mankind and he's returning to Mars, and won't destroy the Earth after all. Probably because the alien doesn't want to stoop to Pete's level in sexist heeldom. Goofy waves goodbye and starts his rocket pack while Max translates goodbye in ten languages, don't care. Max thinks it's working even though the rocket pack is clearly not and Max does some squeal acting as Pete gets on the roof with his TROPHY OF SEXIST DEATH as he proclaims that Goofy isn't getting off scoff free for wrecking his house. Even though, everything was clearly done by Pete. This is all Pete's fault. I hope Peg yells at him to remind him of that; which she doesn't. Yet.
Pete tries to whack Goofy with the trophy; but Goofy's miming causes Pete to miss; Pete pushes the button on the rocket pack, Pete falls off the roof, Goofy blasts into the air and deep into space. Yeah; this show is a sitcom version of Darkwing Duck, and it is just silly. I think you can guess the obvious logic break here. Even Bonkers had better sense to put on helmets than Goofy did. Goofy flies back down, spirals out of control, knocks Pete down, bonks into a brick tomb, rocket pack breaks and spirals deep into space causing everyone to cheer that the aliens are gone. Yeah; whatever. Max is relieved as PJ walks away from the truck and proclaims that he is going to look for that model again. So we scene change to Goofy's house. Now; I assume this took place months after the last scene because Pete's property is magically repaired; but it appears to have happened later on in the night, creating a huge logic hole here. I have a theory that television execs want kids to believe that things magically repair themselves on the next shot in order to justify giving them what they think kids want, which is wanton destruction of people's properties with impunity. Although; to be fair here, it was PETE who destroyed his own property. Yes; it was under false pretenses by Max, but no one in real life would ever buy Max's statements. Not even Donald J. Trump and idiots like him. We head inside Max's bedroom as Max is in bed in his footy pjs as Goofy is confused because the crew was gone when he woke up. Max calls this okay; because Goofy is too good for television anyway. I realize this is a storyline; but way to bury your own show there, Max! Goofy brings out a brochure detailing the wonders of Hopi Indian dancing. Oh sure, why not?! Your career as a mime is such a limited venture anyway. Max groans and buries himself on cue since classes start on Monday. HAHA! Sky shot of Pete's destroyed lawn; which only serves to expose the logic hole even further as Pete is talking to the moat he dug and blaming it on anything but himself. Pete throws the bricks wall and they causes the exposure of two silver tinfoil eggs as Pete blows off the sky for his failure of being a responsible adult. Pete notices the silver tinfoil eggs and drops them and bail behind the tree because he thinks they are alien eggs. Remind me to find a tinfoil hat not colored in silver for this man as he finds a branch and goes over and bashes the tinfoil eggs like a crazy maniac. Pete manages to float about three feet in the air while doing this as Pistol watches on from an upstairs window proclaiming that this is how you make mashed potatoes. HAHA! Circle fade out to end the episode and disc one of this volume (Already ranted on Slightly Dinghy) at 21:17. This was a comedy baby version of War Of The Weirds and it was good at that; but like Double Darkwings, it was a massive idiot plot that made everyone look stupider than the resident idiot. Goofy everyone. Call it *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this was Saylor's first episode written and while it was a very fun episode about Goofy playing a Silver Surfer Mime; it was also extremely stupid. Again; Max and PJ cause trouble and make Pete paranoid might sound funny, but when others get involved, it's really stupid and it's even worse than in War Of The Weirds, because really, only one person was fooled (maybe two in the case of WildCat) and thus everyone was either on it, or just didn't care making the military man look like a poster child for gun control. In this; it was like Double Darkwings, in that everyone was fooled including Peg, who is normally one who almost never falls for stupidity like this. There were some logic breaks and animation mistakes; but unlike Double Darkwings, Goofy was extremely funny and Pete was game to play the paranoid man; altrhough I cringed when Danielle Wrathmaker got murdered by the trophy. Overall; this was a fun episode that was marred by an idiot plot; but at least it was booked in such a way that they didn't have to do a broken Aesop in the process, which hurt War Of The Weirds, so it was really funny in spite of Max being a sleazebag once again. So that ends disc one of this series and the count so far is one thumbs up, one thumbs down and seven in the middle. Again; this is good in one sense because only one episode is bad, but it is bad in the other sense because there are no standout episodes and there's no one outside of Goofy and maybe Pete who stands out. Heels are second rate and the main characters are done better in previous shows. Also; this show has a pacing problem where you could compress the episode down and it would be barely half of the episode. However; in order to fill in the remaining time; since you cannot have many action scenes since it's a sitcom, you have to talk a lot and even kids will get tired of this in every episode. We want kids doing things, not talking. It's nice if they cut awesome promos; but we want them to do awesome stuff. We have kids who are decent characters for the most part; but none of them standout and it reminds me of how specials kids like Kit Cloudkicker, Molly Cunningham, Oscar Vandersnoot (a guest character no less), Cubbi Gummi, Sunni Gummi, the nephews, Webby, Gosalyn, Honker, even Tank are so much better than any of these kids, it's not even funny. We are barely nine episodes into this (not including the three extras I ranted on earlier); and I feel like I made a mistake ranting on this show because it feels so tedious to critique. And it also feels tedious to watch as well. TaleSpin was tedious to critique; but it was ultra fun to watch. The later is much more important than the former if you are an exec. Anyhow; I hope disc two picks up the pace, that's all I ask. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.