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Goofin' Hood & His Melancholy Men
Reviewed: 02/05/2017
Robs From The Scummy Rich & Gives To The Goofball Poor!
All right; I see that it only took about nineteen episodes or so before this show had to stoop to going into another era in order to get over, since their self contained world couldn't get the job done. Basically; Goofy tells Max the story of Robin Hood because Max doesn't like history -- like most kids and even some adults (Kit: Guilty! Gregory: Ditto!) -- only Robin Hood is Goofy's ancestor. Hey; it's no less believable than Rocket Robin Hood (and it's already better animated even if you look at the animation studio below) so this should be great. And hey; at least Goofy is telling the story in his own self-contained world and thus is believable. Don't get me started on Darkwing Doubloon again; that was a mess of stupidity on the writers part. So how does this episode fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Dean Stefan and the late Bruce Talkington who also story edited. The animation was provided by Sunwoo Animation.
Opening Moment #1: This episode uses the second version of the opening in that it's the usual changing of shots in between seasons. Wow; that didn't take long. One involves Goofy on a dragon with marshmellows and one involved with pizza and Pistol bouncing on Pete's chest. HAHA! The rumor mill suggests that this was changed to eliminate the black legs of Goofy; but at least one shot of black legs Goofy is still in the opening (the one where Goofy is bumping after being shocked). My guess is that this episode was delayed until much later due to some copyright nonsense or something along those lines and the DVD order goes according to the animation paper order; which explains why the pilot is midway through the second volume of the DVD.
We begin this one either at sunrise or BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as there is violin music in the background during the sky shot of Goofy's house. Okay; I have figured out that Goofy's house is painted lime green and Pete's is painted pink. It took me that long to figure that one out. Waffles is screaming and running on a rug in the house as Goofy comes downstairs wondering why the cat is having a panic attack. I know it's the music, but I know that Goofy has abused Waffles unintentionally in the past. Evidence #1: Waffles runs upstairs and knocks Goofy over and blinds Goofy by sitting on his eyes. Goofy gets up and tumbles down the stairs as there is a logic break as there are now a tie and socks on the rails where there was none before. Goofy pops Waffles from his face and declares him okay. No he is not, Goofy. He's panicking as Goofy thought he caught his tongue in the blender again. Someone needs to house train him, STAT! And so does Waffles for that matter. Waffles is moaning as Goofy asks Waffles what is wrong and in comes Max sulking with his violin. He whines and calls playing the violin a dweeb's chore basically. Which is perfect for Max and the blue dweeb known as Mega Man. The Ruby-Spears version. Max does the worst violin playing I have ever witnessed and it's clear he's doing this on purpose because earlier in the episode; the violin music was perfectly fine. What a jerk?! This only serves to cause torture on Waffles as he hides in Goofy's shirt; and surprisely, no tickling spot. Huh?! Waffles grabs Goofy's ankle and flings him through the wooden for the contracted SDSA spot (Scooby-Doo Snow Angel Spot; copyright Hanna Barbera, all rights reserved); before fleeing. Goofy claims that Max wanted to be in the school band and Goofy's glad he got to play the violin as Max is confused. Jump cut to Goofy taking a giant red book from the shelf as Max panics and sits down on the green sofa promising to practice as long as no photo albums are involved. Geez; Max really is a dweeb. Goofy talks about picture books having a thousand words (plus - an encyclopedia, natch.) and sits down next to Max crushing the violin on the sofa. Huh.
Goofy is about to tell the story of his great times ten grandfather Goofin Hood. Yes folks; Goofy is going to tell us this show's version of Robin Hood. And his ancestor is the main character. Geez; this proves that the Mary Sue/Gary Stu thing is just another version of "I don't like this character because it's so great and I have to cut it down to size because I practice non-confromity"; without realizing that you are conforming to a concept anyway and being hypocritical about it. And this conforming is usually the most jackass version of it. Max is not amused by this as Goofy puts the crushed violin down on the ground as Goofin Hood is Sir Goofy of Knock Knees, who was the greatest bowman in England. Geez; that is like the greatest downhill skier in England back in 1988. So we hit the Goofy Flashback~ as we head to Tucker Forest (recycled from Polly Wants A Treasure in TaleSpin of course) as we see Pete dressed like the Sheriff of Notingham (from Robin Hood; the Disney version) riding a jackass. Why doesn't that surprise me?! He has two heavies dressed in middle ages gear carrying a wooden tray containing THE CHEST OF DEMONS. And no; I'm not talking about Pete's chest here. Jump cut to a buck teeth catnose in Robin Hood gear with a container of arrows and bow as he is one of the many troops of a group called the Melancholy Men. Which by the way is a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause. Somehow; this makes sense. We have another catnose who is huge and has the smallest quarter staff he could find. He looks like a very young Friar Tuck as Goofy explains that the troop sucks at being heels as there is a third Robin Hood guy has a sword and is going to swing from a rope as the group cuts Sheriff Pete off at the pass in the most obvious way that they have to be caught and inprisoned because they are total idiots, you see. Friar Suck whacks Buckteeth John in the back of the head with the 1/16th staff.
Pete decides to play along with this comedy of errors as Friar Suck sounds like Herb Muddlefoot (Jim Cummings) while Buckteeth John is not amused by it. BJ sounds like Gopher; so it's probably Michael Gough voicing him. BJ pounds FS's noggin and FS apologizes because he sucks. BJ threatens violence as SP (Sheriff Pete) bonks his nose into BJ's face and dares him. BJ wants SP to forfeit the TM (tax money; not Pokemon technique machines by the way) or else. SP chooses else; and BJ tries to fire a arrow into Pete's nose; the bow slingshots out of sight. Yip; these Melancholy Men might as well change their name to Suckancholy Men. Evidence #1: Two of the men swing like Tarzan and have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't at the stockcade as they squash BJ. SP calls them more fun than amateur night in the torture chamber. SP rides the jackass away laughing with his henchmen as he proclaims that he's the best sheriff ever because he's at his best at doing absolutely nothing. Luigi? Are you listening? Pete decides to raise the tax in celebration of this "feat" like the scum sucking bastard that he is. Scene change to the Castle Of...I don't know; the paper sign on the tree is no help to me. The castle of course is on a cliff with no moat whatsoever, but still has a path and drawbridge. Fanfare music plays. Goofy the narrator helps me as Sheriff Pete is Sir Pete and the name of the castle is called...wait for it...Half-Baked Ham Castle! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sadly; the Prince John lookalike's name is Prince Freddy. It should be Prince Burnt Cheese On Rye in order to pay off the joke. Apparently; Freddy makes Pete a little nervous as the squeaky voice Freddy in a king's outfit rushes towards the CHEST OF DEMONS, it magically opens and Freddy kises his money. Ooookkkkaaaayyyyy. Pete is slightly repulsed by this. I am too; because Freddy don't know if there are any diseases on that money. I betcha Pete doesn't know either. Pete claims that everyone loves Prince Freddy; which I betcha is a lie. Except for the Suckancholy Men of course; which is in fact true. Out of nowhere we see a blue clothed nobleman in a cage with a chicken logo on front.
Okay; so we have random humor on this show. What was the point of that; other than him saying that he's not too fond of the spud. Who?! Don't you mean spuds since the SM is more than one person? We discover that it's Richard The Chicken-Hearted in the cage; so that means it wasn't random humor and is actually a storyline. Okay; I can accept that. Freddy taunts him because Richard used to be the king of England before Freddy pulled off the coup-etait. Let me guess; Freddy threaten to choke a chicken and that made Richard submit. Oh, come on moral guardians! How can you not see that one coming a mile away?! Freddy sounds like Huge from "Where There's Smoke; There's Goof" by the way; so it's Frank Welker voicing Freddy (since Pat Fraley doesn't appear on the credits of this episode) as he threatens to kidnap the princess as we see Pistol above a railing near some high windows where a warthog's head is shown. She's dressed in middle age women's gear complete with cheese colored cone hat as Richard is trying to grab the crown and fails. Freddy has an unfortunate personality. Still better than Bubsy's; so Richard is still hosed. Freddy is gravely offended by this and Richard is heading to the dungeon. I don't know why since he's already in a shark cage as Freddy is going to kidnap Pistol to have his way with Richard, threatening to busterino Richard. Yeah; I'll bet. During this; Pistol grabbed the warthog head and throws it down on Freddy's head. Pistol blows him off and calls Freddy icky, like Vicky from Fairly Oddparents. Pistol is going to save Daddy; which is funny because her real dad is supposed to be Sir Pete, the sheriff since Pistol's father is supposed to be Pete. But she's implying that her real dad is Richard. This is so confusing to me. It sounds like Pete is Peg's second husband and I can only shudder to think how evil this first husband was for Peg to want to jettison him forever. I'm shocked Peg is still alive in storyline at this point. I know it's Disney; but this confuses me. Pistol slides down the railing and does a dropkick to one of the henchmen causing him to bonk into the second henchmen, so Pistol has been watching Kit Cloudkicker tapes.
This I approve of as Richard calls Pistol her little petunia; which sounds like Pistol is his beloved. That was awkward. Richard tells Pistol to procure assistance from the Suckancholy Men of Tucker Forest because that is this kingdom's only hope. This kingdom is deader than my sex life as Pistol rushes like Sonic and manages to barge through the door and out of the castle as the henchmen have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't in the torture chamber. Never mind that the henchmen were knocked out thirty seconds earlier. Geez; Pistol is having better luck with these losers than the Suckancholy Men; why not just find a weapon, train with it and make the Jean D'Arc-equse comeback instead of having a bunch of loser men who cannot fire an arrow correctly; let alone not hit the broad side of a barn properly?! Freddy is pissed and you know Freddy is terrible when he needs a warthog's head on his head in order to appear threatening. Pete tells him not to worry because he can handle those Sucky Men of Tucker Forest with ease as Freddy threatens...something...that makes Pete gulp. We return to reality (no, not really) as Goofy is telling the story and Max is snoring on the sofa asleep. Wow; Max is such a loser. This story is really amusing to me, even when I last saw it as a child. What a dweeb Max is?! Anyhow; Goofy has only setup the story to introduce his ancestor known as Sir Goofy of Knock Knees. Goofy continues the story anyway without waking up Max (I guess you cannot use torturous music on a child even if it's all right for a child to inflict torture on a pet or adult. I club BS&P!) as we get a B&W photo shot of Sir Goof of Knock Knees in Robin Hood gear with a music book stand which he puts down in the middle of Tucker Forest. Did I mention SGKK's bow doubles as a bow for the violin? Sir Goofy of Recycling Music is more like it. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So SGKK plays the violin and a tree timbers and squashes him. HAHA! Yip; nature really touched back at him. HA-YUCK! Goofy explains that he kept practicing because he's Sir Goofy. He's also insane.
Three knights out of nowhere uncork their swords because Goofy has violated the laws of hunting. SGKK claims that he was making music as the greet hat knight claims that he's hunting for a good note. Geez; he wishes he was me in making bad jokes. The three knights laugh as SGKK claims that he takes requests. Green Hat Knight wants him to play "So Low I Can't Hear You". A quote straight out of Camp Rock from 2008 created by Disney Channel during the live action fetish years. GHK gives SGKK a coin and tells him to get his ears fixed. Instead of giving him coin; you should choke on these nuts! SGKK takes the coin and puts it in his pocket. He plays so loud that we have an earthquake and of course the knights cannot hear him because his music is so loud it causes rumbling and killed eardrums. It also shatters metal armor like glass too. OUCH! So SGKK screws up his bow as the bow of the violin becomes an arrow for a violin's crossbow. GHK brings out his sword; tries to yell at him to stop; but the violin is fired and the bow nails the hat into the tree. SGKK takes out another bow and wants to play more music as the knights in footies toss him sacks of money and bail like scalded dognoses. HA! SGKK loves music business. Hey; it's not like people love to give money to screeching music and singing voices these days, so SG was a pioneer in that regard. So we head back to the Castle Of Half-Baked Ham with more fanfare music as Goofy claims that the news of SGKK's "heroics" are spreading like wildfire. So a bunch of jabornis are whispering to each other and this ends with Pistol on a barrel getting the spot. At last! There is a "champion" to stand up to the sniveling Prince Freddy. Which is repeated by the narrator and then her. For those who complain about modern cartoons doing these spots and are 1990's kids; YOU are the ones who pioneered it. YOU are the ones who started it! This is YOUR fault! YOU didn't have to do this stupid f'n thing! Goofy blows it off and Pistol apologizes anyway. Okay; that part is different from the modern cartoons, but it is still 1990's kids fault.
Scene change to outside some anime colored woods as we hear violin sounds and men screaming like they are being tortured by Don Karnage in Captains Outragous. The men scream for something (Not their Mama as Disney Captions claims) as we head inside the forest as SGKK has stopped playing music and all the men are gone as swords, shields, treasure chests and money is left on the ground. SGKK loves this music stuff as Pistol jumps onto a CHEST OF DEMONS and talks a hundred miles per hour. Because it's funny, you see. Don't listen to those old 1990's kids farts who claim that it's annoying. They hate kids even though they were one once. They are hypocrites you see. Never mind that they are annoyed because they cannot understand half of what Pistol is saying, not because of her voice. She wants SGKK to thrash Freddy and Pete; and as a reward, SGKK becomes their royal musician. SGKK shakes on the deal as BJ arrvies with his Suckancholy Men. Apparently; BJ is Sir Festor Swollen (who appears as a regular on this show, by the way) as Friar Suck and the two worst swingers in history surround Pistol and SGKK. SFS now has a bone to pick with you because SGKK has screwed them out of their money and this is their turf, which Goofy is butting his business in, you see. SFS teases a "Loser Leaves Town" match; and then offers SGKK to become their leader. Because, why not? After all; they aren't called the Suckancholy Men and even they realize that they are no match for Sir Goofy's knee knocking music that can kill eardrums within fifty paces. Goofy loves it so much that he gets a dream sequence within a dream sequence of being on stage with the Suckancholy Men. And to think; they are still better than Heath Slater. Ponder that for a moment and despair! Friar Suck's name according to Disney Captions is Sir Drumstick of course. Apparently; Sir Muddle is not available for some odd reason. They do the football victory spot on Sir Goofy and carry him through Tucker Forest. Friar Suck of course screws up using a "Three Muskateers" promo and SFS blows him off for being a stupid idiot. This ends the segment nine minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head back to reality (no, not really) as Max is now lying on the couch awake with Waffles on top of the couch. Goofy continues to read this hilariously convoluted Robin Hood story. Max yawns at the story; implying that he thinks this story is boring. Even Kit Cloudkicker would smack this dweeb and he's about the same age as Max. Max tries to bail; but Goofy grabs him by the shirt because he's not done yet. And really; I hope he isn't. So we head back to Castle Half-Baked Ham as Goofy proclaims that Goofin' Hood and his Suckancholy Men are number one with an arrow on Freddy's hit parade. Jump cut to Freddy in the CHEST OF DEMONS flicking a coin. See; their stealing doesn't bother him; but giving it to the poor. Because you see; that is a horrible thing that must be stopped because giving it to the poor makes Goofin' Hood and his Suckancholy babyfaces and makes Prince Freddy and Sir Pete look like monster scoiopatheic heels. They are in fact self aware that they are the bad guys here and want to kill them so they become babyfaces by default. I know they hate this because Freddy is so broke that the babyfaces will give THEM donations! Geez; even Teddy Ruxpin didn't stoop to this low. Pete then gets a Krackpotkin plan in store as we head outside in the entry with the peasants lining up; including Sir Pete dressed partially as a bum. Would have worked better if he wasn't in his Sheriff gear and was only wearing a torn black hooded robe. We see Pistol giving the denizens money and her singing is not bad. She sings better than Goofy plays the violin, that's for sure. Pete steps up and grabs Pistol by the arm. Pistol struggles and protests because she's a personal friend of Goofin' Hood. Ooops! Pete blows his cover on cue aware of this; which is why Pistol will never be Molly Cunningham. Pete gets into Pistol's face as he grabs the sack of money. We head to a tower inside Half-Baked Ham castle AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we head inside the throne room with Freddy pacing and protesting Pete's latest idea: holding a tournament. Yeah; because throwing a celebration of him is so not heelish at all, Pete.
The flags in the background look not good as Pete proclaims that this plan is designed to capture SGKK because he is personal friends with Princess Pistol and thus would want to rescue her. Pete explains that they don't want him to show up when they don't expect him to; so fix it so that he shows up when they expect him to. They giggle like heels for a while as Freddy calls Pete clever. So we fade to black as I suspect that this was the Non-American commercial break, and we return to morning outside Half-Baked Ham Castle as Goofin' Hood and his band of Suckancholy Men walk into Sir Pete's trap wearing fake glasses and mustaches. SFS should have dyed his brown; just to make it even more obvious that it's them. SGKK proclaims that they are here for something; but SGKK has zero idea what it is. SFS proclaims that they are here to rescue the princess while Goofy keeps Sir Pete busy at the tournament. How did they know about Pistol being kidnapped? I hope it's from an informat we don't know because if it was on the tournament parchment; then these guys really do suck! Goofy doesn't know how to do that and so SFS gives him the BOOK OF DOOM and tells Goofy to follow it. Uh-oh! I think we all know where this is going. They enter the castle as Goofy is fine with this as we jump cut to somewhere in the castle grounds as we have the most Z-grade version of the archer's tournament from the Disney edition of Robin Hood complete with cobble stone ground and bushes in the background that wouldn't grow on them. We see the return of the green hat knight from earlier in noble clothes with Sir Pete and Prince Freddy at the royal booth with the two henchmen as horn blowers. Really a Z-grade tournament, which is perfect for Sir Goofy of Knock Knees. Even the target and fanfare is beyond low rent. Freddy looks around as he claims that there is no one who is ten feet tall in a black hood. Ummm; that was Pete in his disguise when he kidnapped Pistol earlier in the episode.
So the GHK begins his spiel to the crowd (all six of them, including Pete and Goofy) and Prince Freddy gets horns blaring in the ears which causes his knees to knock. Geez; have the henchmen turned to the Goof Side~?! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Freddy hold his ears and protests this outrage as he brings out a hanky and we let the games begin. He shakes it for a few seconds and the horns blare in his ears for him to drop the hanky. So we cut and we see that there is a crowd present of fifteen peasants or so, only one is a woman. There must have been a lot of inbreeding in this castle, if you catch my drift. Pete comes over and calls them cowards because no one is dumb enough to take on Sir Pete. Sir Pete claims that he has won every tournament in the last five years and he laughs as SGKK comes in and accepts Pete's challenge. Because he's really stupid, you see. Then again; the Disney version of Robin Hood was also stupid enough to try this, so there's two peas in a pod, so to speak. Everyone gasps as Pete asks who the hell is this and Goofy calls himself a humble subject. Never mind that he's dressed similar to Sir Festor Swollen which he met earlier in the episode. Also; it doesn't help that he admits that he's in disguise. Pete plays along because he's proud and wants to win this thing, and if he loses then he can expose Goofin Hood and put him in prison as originally planned. It's not like Robin Hoof where the king wants to beat the cow in a grazing contest even though losing it would fatten RH up so much that he cannot squash anyone and then he would be easy pickins for the heels to slaughter the sacred cow. So yeah; this episode has a bigger clue than Totally Tasteless Videos. Pete calls him a peasant as he draws his bow and arrow to shoot. Goofy whisper yells that itinerant serf is a better term as Pete gets an easy bullseye as Sunwoo's background logic is dumb because there are two targets now and they are both near the castle walls instead of far away from them. Pete orders SGKK to beat that as SGKK walks forward and reads the book as the dreaded How-To-Narrator has returned. You know; if you really want to do this spot; it would be wise if we actually SEE a nobleman in this scene doing commentary like this because that would make sense and be funny at the same time. Somehow; I doubt that would happen.
The narrator tells us that this is how to be a knight in his spare time. You would think after the lawsuit about "How To Be A Hitman" would have told BS&P to tell creative to buzz off on doing these spots; but they continue on unabaited. Narrator tells us the bow and arrow is a perfect marriage of tensile strength and delicacy of tension and release. Somebody has been hitting the thesearus and getting drunk off of it. Goofy plucks the bow and brings out an arrow; calling the bow a nice tone. I guess the violin bow is not within regulations, sadly. That sucks. Of course; he puts the pointed end into the bowstring instead of the feathered end, causing the narrator to blow him off. Geez; he really does sound like Mr. Enter! Of course the narrator is a smugass who likes to see Goofy taut the bow so much that he becomes the arrow. I stand corrected! Even Mr. Enter is not good at being a smugass as this narrartor. Goofy releases and get shot, destroying the target and eating Pete's arrow to boot. And apparently there are two spare targets instead of one. So I betcha there will be exactly three rounds in this tournament. Glad to see someone was on the ball with this, eh? Pete throws down his bow in disgust. Geez, Pete that's a DQ in my book, so you won that round. Jump cut back to GHK reading from a script that the next event is jousting. Of course Freddy gets ear killed by the horns. Freddy hates it; but he's too dumb to throw his henchmen in the dungeon...Oh wait...Goofy calls this easy and comes forward telling jokes about saddle sores and horses. Oh; did you hear about the one where Dino Bravo sucks. He's the absolute worst. So bad that if was the Mountie, he would destroy wrestling and the RCMP in one fell swoop. BUM-BUM-CHING~! I'm shocked that BS&P allowed the Crusades to be mentioned. Did Toon Disney edit this line out? I don't remember. I see someone has stolen Sid Seixeiro's sound effects control panel, mostly the rimshot button. Pete uses the lance to stop him because it's jousting, not jestering. But Goofy was jousting, he was jousting for the fool's job. HA-YUCK! *RIMSHOT*! I don't think I was making a funnie on that one.
Pete is in a full suit of armor and his jackass has some red cloth armor on. So we get the jousting midway through it as Goofy is riding a white horse with blue and gold trim as Goofy cannot stay on the saddle for more than two seconds. We get a lot of Scooby-Doo running sound and running effects. Now you know you are watching a classic! I've been waiting so long to say that in this show. Of course; the narrator orders Goofy to keep the damn spear up; but as he says that Goofy's spear goes into the opposite direction. Goofy flops on the spear as Pete runs past, so Pete wins round two, right. Ummm; nope. Goofy spings back; bonks Pete off his horse and Pete goes flying as Goofy sits backwards on Pete's jackass. Sadly; Goofy tries to tell the jackass to calm down; it doesn't and rams into the castle walls off-screen as armor goes flying on-screen and that is that. Jump cut back to GHK reading from his script that the last event will be the most difficult of them all. I think Pete won both events thus far; so why bother having this one. It's not like this is anything but a trap. Oh; and they are modeling swimsuits. Of course! Freddy scoffs at it and gets his ears murdered again despite being smart enough to cover his ears. So we head to in front of a tent is a runway like a model show as Goofy is modeling a blue suit with lime green on the front. Goofy walks forward as Calvin Klein gets referenced. Remember when if you wanted to do a brand name; you had to parodize the name it to avoid copyright. Here, they aren't even trying to do that. Pete shows off his metal shorts with purple unitard with red feathered hat. I say Pete wins round three and the tournament right there folks. Goofy is called Veiny Legs as Goofy accuses Pete of being Knobby Knees. Uh-oh; Pete declares that he doesn't have Knock Knees; and then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that it's SGKK as Freddy hides behind GHK and orders him arrested, tried "fairly" (Riiigggghhhhttt) and then behead him. What? No hanging after that? Wimps. SGKK proclaims that you have to love the criminal justice system in this town and that ends the segment nearly sixteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head inside the dungeon as we pan over to the prison cell with SGKK and Richard exchanging notes on the situation. Apparently; Goofy won the entire tournament. *RIMSHOT*! But he's going to be beheaded tomorrow morning. *RIMSHOT*! He even imagines the probable situation of if he lost this tournament; which is BS because even by any reasonable measure, he lost 2-1 to Pete anyway. We hear fanfare and Richard doesn't like it as Goofy thinks it's the birth of the blues. HAHA! If only Goofy, if only. Richard blows him off because that is the signal that Pistol has been convicted of treason against the crown. Why yes folks; this show is going to tease that Pistol, the most annoying character in the show, is going to face an adult death sentence.
Pistol: Eat your heart out, Molly!
Gregory: You
do realize you are going to get your head chopped off and die in
storyline!
Pistol: Dammit!
So naive, even more so than Molly is half of the time. Goofy reassures him that nothing will go wrong because his band of Suckancholy men have everything under control. Yeah; I'll bet. Yip; they all get thrown in the same prison cell as Goofy now is thinking worrying is a good idea. So we get the battering ram spot from the Suckancholy men. Sadly; they are so stupid that they don't use SGKK and instead use Friar Suck's body instead. They drop to the ground and calls this no use because they need the right key. Goofy comes in with a bow because keys are his business; but he needs horse hair to make some string. Now; if you want to see an example of BS&P notes; here it is: It would make sense to say "horse hair" if the white horse from earlier in the episode was also in the dungeon and the babyface gang up on it and cut his hair. However; the white horse is nowhere to be seen because someone complained that this is animal abuse and PETA would start calling; so instead, everyone gangs up on Sir Festor and his brown beard which is not horse hair. If they had said "cat hair"; then this would make sense because Festor is a catnose in storyline. If you are going to please BS&P; just say "cat hair" instead of horse hair so it makes the sense make sense. It's not that hard to do and both Dean and Bruce have been in the business long enough to not make such a rookie mistake. And dammit; this episode was chugging along so well, too! Festor is confused and panicky and pleading for mercy as they tackle him down and we get the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST FIGHT OF DOOM by the babyfaces. Geez; what a bunch of assholes they are?! All of them! So they leave him with a beard cut job that would make Brutus Beefcake hang his head in shame. Scene change to Goofy plucking his bow because he's the best bowman in England, you heard? So he rubs the bowstring aginest the iron bars of the cell door as he concludes that the key for this is B-. Which is the average score for most of the good Goof Troop episodes; which works out to three stars, give or take a quarter.
Everyone covers their eyes and there is rumbling; until the door simply falls flat on the floor. Yip; that was really B flat. *RIMSHOT*! Goofy wants to rescue Princess Pistol and we run out of the prison cell and through the hallways, up the stairs we go. We found a way to waste some time because this show is based on a character who do five minute spurts per show. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Why did you hit me? It's all true, you know. Goofy goes to the lookout as Pistol is standing before Freddy in the throne room with Pete as Freddy demands to know why Pistol betrayed the kingdom and sided with Outlaws. Pistol screams and cuts a promo at a hundred miles per hour basically saying that Freddy is a thief, robber and outlaw. Geez; I realize BS&P is an ass sometimes, but even calling Freddy a terrorist wouldn't be far off base, since Freddy does actually have power as a king in storyline. At least Pistol didn't call the king; "Shoebat's new boyfriend", that would be stealing my gimmick and I demand she pay a fine of...ummm....five cents. So Pete gags her with tape to shut her up. Freddy declares her guilty as charged and she is going to get her head cut off. Goofy swings like Tarzan, misses Pistol because Pete grabs her and feints Goofy; causing Goofy to crash into the throne and take out Freddy. Pete proclaims that there will be no goofing around as he brings out the sword and Goofy counters by bouncing his ass into Pete's face and knocking him completely out. That was embarrassing to say the least. Sadly; Goofy is hung out to dry as a cloning machine was found in this story because six henchmen wearing the same clothes as the previous two earlier, welding swords and axes. Goofy claims that he has a Krackpotkin Plan as we scene change to the courtyard on stage as Goofy and Pistol are literally on the chopping blocks about to be beheaded as Pistol blows Goofy off for that one. Oh; and there's a completely new henchmen who is as big as Pete welding a pole axe with a brown vest, red sweater and striped pants. Pete walks up to the stage and this is poorly done because Pistol and Goofy don't seen to have their hands tied behind their backs. I club BS&P!
Pete proclaims that since there were "no hard feelings". *RIMSHOT*! Pete decides to give them one last meal with swordfish and clam chowder as Jim Cummings' sucks pronouncing French words here. Goofy wants some prime rib as we hear rumbling and see shaking as the executator is flung backwards and is probably killed. Freddy thinks it's the horns again even though the sound I heard was much quieter. The music is playing as everyone scatters, and Freddy is panicking and wants this to stop already. Pistol is confused at this as Goofy claims that it's the Suckancholy Men playing his song. Yes folks; Goofy planned all of this from the start, somehow. Then we get a really stupid logic break as the entire castle on the far shot crumbles down completely including the surrounding the cliffs. That would be fine in itself; but when the dust clears on the close up shot; the courtyard is still pretty much intact, albeit severely damaged. That is just bad continuity by Sunwoo there. In comes Richard demanding the throne and has his cane on standby, just in case. Something black rides into the background for no reason at all as Freddy already submits as Goofy comes in and Pete brings out the sword again. Wait; if Freddy has already given up the throne, shouldn't he wait until AFTER Pete loses? This makes no sense, even if Freddy's a coward. So we begin the epic swordfight and after a **** swordfight, as we get shots of outside of night to day to night and so on as Goofy narrates that this battle went on for hours. Geez; Pete, you really are a loser. Memo to creative: Swordfights don't last days in real life. I'm just saying. Cock crows and Goofy informs us that the babyfaces won. Freddy and Pete are backed up with wooden pointers. Yes; that is how the swordfight ends. No dramatic finish where Goofy somehow outsmarts Pete at all. And we accuse The Return Of Slade of bait and switch?! So Goofy goes over to the music stand and he's the royal musician for Richard The Chicken-Hearted.
So Goofy cannot handle conducting well without Pistol helping him as Goofy goes over his lousy fiddling skills as we discover that Pistol plays the cymbals as part of this band, the only woman on the band I might add. Freddy is on tuba and Pete is on drums. Yes folks; Richard is so chicken hearted that he doesn't behead the heels for treason. I wonder how he lost the throne in the first place? Maybe it's because he trusted enemies like Freddy and Pete too much! Stupid idiot! Freddy whines about a headache and Pete rightfully tells him to shut up because Freddy is such a whiner. So we finally return to reality (no, not really) as Goofy wraps up the story. This actually was believable enough since it is Goofy we are talking about. Apparently; Goofy became the Pied Piper and drove rats out of Hamlin and also the rest of the population, proving that many times with a goof, the cure is worse than the disease. HA-YUCK! *RIMSHOT*! He also wrote an 1812 Overture before 1812 basically and he never stepped on a Beatle. Of course he didn't; none of them existed until well after you existed Goofy. So Max proclaims that he learned his lesson as he somehow finds his violin is no longer near the sofa and near a chair where his music stand is and we get a really stupid logic break: The violin sound sounds like a flute at first. Thankfully; it dies and we get the violin music as the violin string breaks; ala Caron's bad piano playing in When The Cuckoo Clock Strikes 3 in Chargeman Ken. Max calls this a complete bummer and wonders what to do now. Goofy reassures him that everything is fine as long as they have some cat gut. Oh for crying out loud, guys; that is the most blantant attempt to abuse Waffles I have ever seen! Screw you episode; just screw you! Waffles wakes up and panics as Max and Goofy are pleading for him to give him some. Waffles screams like hell and bails out the door doing another SBSA spot through the door as the cat races through the yard like it has it's head cut off as Max and Goofy laugh in the house. F*ck you two, just f*ck you. That ends the episode at 21:13. Wow; this was a really fun episode until that lousy ending. *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; we finally got through this episode and it was really fun outside of the lousy ending that was a really brazen attempt to abuse Waffles again. Sure; I don't have much sympathy for Waffles per se; but most of the time, Goofy's abuse of him was unintentional because Goofy is so stupid. This was on purpose; just to drive Waffles batty. It was really terrible. There were a few logic breaks as well as Sunwoo mess up's here and there; however, outside of the ending, great episode. It's Goofy playing Robin Hood for laughs, what more can I say that I didn't say in this review. I was disappointed somewhat that we didn't get an epic comedy finish for the swordfight because that would have been legendary. But I guess they figured Sunwoo screwed it up; so they added thirty seconds of Goofy running through the prison hallways to kill time. Oh well; it was a really fun episode and it was fun to review as well since Goofy was game to being mocked for my pleasure. So last up for disc two of volume one of this DVD set is Leader Of The Pack (Gargoyles; you have some explaining to do?!) which is the infamous Grease parody episode, best known for the phrase: "No geeks on the Pharoh's turf!" Yeah. So...
Thumbs in the middle pointing up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.