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Leader Of The Pack
Reviewed: 02/25/2017
No Dorks On The DTVA's Turf!
Well, here we go, it's time for Max and PJ to earn what I consider to be their crew cut of the series. Basically; a heelish greaser named Duke and his gang take over a burger joint and prevent Max and PJ from having a burger; so they enlist help from Max's cousin Debbie. Yeah; that is the plot. So; how does this episode measure up now? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Marion Wells and Jeffrey Scott. The story was edited by Karl Geurs. The animation was provided by Sunwoo Animation.
We begin this one with a sky shot of a burger joint with the title card in green letters. Zoom in to a crowd of denizens shooting the breeze and eating as a roller skating catnose with red hair comes out in a purple dress and golden waistlace wheeling in with a tray of a hamburger with lettuce and a toothpicked olive on top and a container of soda. Then a hot rod car roars in and causes smoke and wind as the kids are horrified by this. Then the hot rod car stops and the roof opens to reveal a bully like small guy in a blue coat and white armored shirt; with arms that are bigger than his legs sitting on a chair that raises from the roof. He calls the denizens, Pharaoh's and declares that he's the leader of this group. The teenagers cheer like mad; because he's hasn't done anything heelish yet, so he must be a babyface. We discover that his name is Duke (Jerry Houser voices him by the way) and gives the victory sign as everyone gets Double Behemoth Burgers on his account. So we get two female rollerskaters coming out with trays of burgers and one soda; as we get repeated shots of the same hands digging into the hamburgers. It was so obvious, even I could see it. Duke tips his container of soda as we pan south to a wooden fence with Max and PJ looking on. Max wonders what he would give for a Double Behemoth Burger and PJ gleefully answers that one for me. PJ kicks a tin can as he proclaims that Duke always throws them out because Duke always says this line to them:
Duke: Hey! No dweebs on the Pharaoh's turf!
Okay; I always thought it was "No geeks on the Pharaoh's turf!" Did DTVA change the line in the second run syndication edition; or was it always "dweebs"? (Note From The Future: No; they used geek later on.) Now; I don't understand why they cannot get in. I mean; sure Max and PJ are "dweebs" in storyline, but if I'm the owner of the burger joint; wouldn't I want Max and PJ's business? Max skateboards and jumps on three trash cans and onto the top of the brick wall asking who's a dweeb. If you believe Dr. Wily in the Ruby-Spears edition, Mega Man. Although he's a "blue dweeb"; which may or may not be a regular old dweeb. Then the dweebs admit that they are. HAHA! Max spins on his skateboard claiming that this is a free country and he'll walk in there and chow down on a Double Behemoth Burger as he pleases. Never mind that it was a free country that created greasers like Duke. PJ asks how he is going to eat a big beefy one (Max's words, not PJ's nor mine) without any teeth. See; Duke is eighteen years old and you cannot fight the Duke. Plus; there are other burger joints around as Max and PJ walk away from the hard camera on a sidewalk. PJ goes on selling the Double Behemoth Burger as Max blows him off. HA! So yeah; Duke looks remotely like a cult of personality type heel that can be the number one heel of the show. Problem is; he's still on the totem pole of heels; very low in comparsion to other heels in other DTVA shows. Sad! Really, really, sad. Scene change to in the kitchen with Goofy bringing out some mustard and ketchup from the fridge. Most people do not keep mustard in the fridge as Goofy puts what appears to be a pancake in the toaster. He humming a conga drum-equse tune as he flips a hot dog in the frying pan. Toaster dings itself and out comes a hot dog bun. Why yes; Goofy toasts buns in a regular toaster, why do you ask? Goofy squirts mustard into a hot dog bun as the phone rings from ten feet away. Goofy grabs the phone with the hotdog bun in his right hand and answers it while using the hot dog as the phone itself. Goofy bites phone! HAHA! We discover that a female voice is on the phone and Disney Caption gives it away as Debbie (voiced by Kath Soucie by the way) as we discover that Debbie is Goofy's niece. Goofy thinks it's a celluar hotdog. HAHA! We then cut to Max and PJ outside sulking on the steps as he informs Max that his cousin Debbie is coming for a visit; which wakes up Max as he blames lack of burgers for his brain farts.
Sadly for Max; (not for me though) as Goofy comes out and plops white sheets in Max's arms informing him that Debbie is coming and staying in Max's room. Max is offended by this and asks where he is sleeping as Goofy states that he's sleeping in Goofy's room because he doesn't want Max to sleep with Waffles or on the sofa. Why not the sofa?! I can understand not allowing Max to sleep with Waffles; but he's not allowed on the sofa? Max screams and runs in the house throwing the sheets into the air. Methinks he hates cleaning sheets. At least I hope it is. At least that would make him merely lazy, rather than being a lazy sexist. Goofy wonders what the hell that was and PJ explains that Max is having a really bad day. Geez; and I thought it was Max being insecure about Goofy's quirky decisions again as PJ enters Max's room, which I think looks way more unfinished than usual. Max is blowing off life as he kicks a basketball and proclaims that Debbie is a dweeb, too. What an insecure jerk Max is?! PJ asks if he doesn't like Debbie as the basketball bounces and shatters something off-screen, but we don't see it as Max says bingo on that. Max goes to some drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) and brings out a B&W picture of Debbie who looks like a catnose version of Gosalyn with freckles. I don't see anything ugly about her; you insecure dweeb! Debbie is shown changing Max's diaper as Max wants PJ to have the picture and PJ calls the baby in the picture a dweeb. Max calls him out for it and PJ apologizes. Max claims that PJ isn't half as sorry as he was as we HIT THE "FLASHBACK"~! Scare quotes intentional. So in Max's mind, Debbie is a sadist who tries to choke Max to death with baby powder. Are you sure Max isn't confusing Debbie with Vickie from Fairly Oddparents?! Max changes the sheets as Max blows off Duke and Debbie and proclaims that it will be 105 before he gets any respect. Geez; I wonder why, you insecure little dweeb? Max then gets inspired and we head back to the burger joint near the wooden fence as Max is looking through a hole in the fence proclaiming that the target is the takeout window. PJ asks about armies since Duke is in his hot rod having a burger and drink. Max has a Krackpotkin Plan proclaiming that Duke wouldn't hit a woman. This cannot end well for Max; because most greasers hate the women, you see. Unless they cower in severitude towards them.
So we head to the parking lot of the burger joint as Max and PJ come in dressed as an old lady and old gentlemen. See; even kids are allowed to cross dress in DTVA for disguise purposes. So if Kit wants to dress like a woman for disguise purposes, he can. He doesn't have to; since Baloo is all the more willing to do that for him. Now out of nowhere; there is a blond haired woman with a green dress (but not a real green dress, cause that's cruel) with red loop earrings cuddling up to Duke and she's voiced by Teresa Ganzel, who voiced the same type of character when she voiced Preena Lot in Darkwing Duck. Ironically; Jerry Houser was also in the same episode, voicing a similar character who was named Hamilton Hamstring. And we accuse modern cartoons of this nonsense? So Blond Preena Lot is cutting promos on how lovable Duke is while Duke is eating with his mouth full. So the dressed up kids think they have Duke fooled as they make it to the take out counter as the skaterolling woman from earlier is taking their order. Max and PJ give out their order as they act like the most awkward old man and old woman you ever saw. The blond woman in the car with Duke is so loving this as Duke stops drinking and notices Max and PJ's sneakers. Because you see; Duke is ageist as well and thinks the old man and old woman stereotype is that they never wear sneakers. By the way; two burgers, fries and drinks cost $7.49 including taxes. Two Big Mac Meals cost $12 plus taxes today in case you want an inflation lesson. Max goes for his pockets; but PJ blows him off, since the money is in the purse. That was clearly done to kill me because the money was in the blue purse. It doesn't matter since Duke's an ageist prick and can see the sneakers as blowing their cover. So Duke is behind them with two greasers with the same style of hair and the same style of body types; which is large top and smaller legs. There is a black haired greaser wearing a green shirt, brown coat and blue pants; while the light brown haired one has a red shirt, dark brown coat and brown pants. Duke is also wearing tan pants as Max and PJ are grabbed and there is a slingshot sound effect as we jump cut to outside the wooden fence to a conveniently placed dumpster as Max and PJ land in the dumpster. PJ wants to quit; but Max wants in as they go over to a picture of a hot woman in a bikini driving a covertte like car in an ad.
PJ's face looks off-model for some reason as he tells Max to dream on because Max has dellusions of getting in with that corvette. So Max brings out a saw. Why yes folks; Max is going to destroy people's properties with impunity and then we old farts aren't going to blow him off and blame everything on Johnny Ass...ERR...I mean, Johnny Test when he does it in his show. So Max cuts the woman's head out of the car and PJ grabs it as Max claims that this is worth one thousand Double Behemoth Burgers. Yeah; it's worth that to replace the sign you just vandalize, you insecure little criminal dweeb! PJ claims that this is worth twenty years in prison for grand theft billboard. Nah; you'll have to pay the value of one thousand Double Behemoth Burgers. So we scene change to the burger joint as Max makes the worst car noises ever while bringing in the cut out corvette with PJ holding the woman's head from said billboard. The denizens are instantly amused by this as PJ proclaims that the greatest thing about being a kid is that if you don't blow it, you live to be an adult. HAHA! But PJ; Max isn't an adult, he's an insecure little dweeb who thinks Debbie is a sadist teenager. Max thinks he's won as the blond haired woman with Duke points to the car while Duke continues to stuff his face as Duke pretty much figures this one out as we discover that PJ and Max are in a shopping cart. So the rollerskating woman (who has freckles this time) rolls out and takes Max's order. She rollerskates out as Duke comes in and engulfs Max in his shadows seconds after PJ and Max slap skin. Duke calls Max Goof "ice cold". I doubt that very much, Duke. Insecure dweeb? Yes. Ice cold? Nope. Duke decides to play along as PJ calls herself Clarise; who's woman voice is really bad by the way. Duke shakes PJ's hand and almost crushes it in the process as PJ looks like he's going to scream. Duke "praises" the wheels on the thing, because Duke can clearly see it's a shopping cart and wants to take the thing for a spin. Max stammers like an insecure little dweeb as the rollerskating woman comes in with the food on the tray and Duke attaches it to the side of the model shopping cart as Max insists that he's not hungry now. Duke is disappointed as he slams the burgers into Max's ears. Duke laughs as the cover is officially blown; while everyone laughs in unison. Geez Max; you are so fake that it makes fake news look real. Even when alternate facts are done by Billy Bob. Ponder that for a moment.
So Duke cuts a Terminator promo and kicks the shopping cart away leading to a sequence of every adult in the area getting nailed and doing whirlwind spots as a result. PJ takes a tray of fries in the face as the woman rollerskater takes a trash can to the ass as a result. Apparently; somone orders donuts because Max has then in his face. They almost get runned over by a car as they turn and they bump into the coveniently placed dumpster and stuff themselves into said dumpster. PJ almost gets head splatted as a result. The Pharoahs laugh their asses off and I cannot argue with them. Sure; they are heels and they are terrible people for making fun of Max and PJ. However; Max and PJ are going out of their way to proving their point instead of actually; you know, pointing out how hurtful the mocking actually is. Blond haired woman almost falls out of her seat laughing as Max and PJ sulk and walk through the wooden fence and out of sight as Duke proclaims that there are no dweebs on the Pharoah's turf. Time to find a new place to hangout, Max; your insecurity is getting in the way. Scene change to Max and PJ walking to the front steps. Max and PJ open the door and walk into the house. We hear horns honking outside. Max is already hating this because Debbie has arrived. Max and PJ close their eyes and open the door. We see Debbie in her pink corvette walking out; and she looks like Gosalyn if she was an adult; with an orange shirt, blue jeans, blue coat and red boots. She closes the door on the corvette as Debbie calls out for Max. Wolf howl ensued before this and after this the boys stammer like a bunch of sexist twits. Debbie walks with her luggage up towards the sidewalk and that ends the segment nine minutes in. Wow; that was a really fun segment thus far. Duke is at least the least generic heel in Goof Troop and he has some chrisma to go with it; and Debbie's really impressive thus far.
After the commercial break; we cut to Max and PJ at the door looking excited. Max and PJ closes the door as Max proclaims that his dweeby sister has grown up. Okay; she has. Now when will YOU grow up Max Goof?! Max shoves PJ and proclaims that Debbie is hot; and he has a Krackpotkin Plan: She is going to be the key to getting all the Double Behemoth burgers they can eat. Yes folks; Max is going to use Debbie's sex appeal to get what he wants; instead of just going to another burger joint. Goofy comes in asking if a car pulled up. Ummm; yes Goofy. Max whirlwinds Goofy and Goofy's version sucks. Max runs like a hurricane and runs into the bathroom and takes a bath. With his swimming trunks on. Don't ask; it's a nudity thing. Max finishes his ten seconds bath and returns doing Tazmanian spots to put on his new geeky clothes which are basically a formal version of what Max usually wears. Oh; and Max has done his hair like a gentlemen as he butts in front of Goofy and opens the door to reveal Debbie at the door. Max is talking like the most insecure gentlemen and he of course screws up his French saying chapeau rather than chateau. Debbie greets him and decides to play along as apparently; PJ was smashed into the wall when Max opened the door because PJ drops down on his face on the floor. Goofy greets her and both of them grab the bags saying that they got this. They walk in opposite directions causing the luggage to open and the clothes go flying. Goofy has a blue cloth on his head as he proclaims that he takes a trip when he picks up a suitcase. I'll say! Somehow; a piece of clothing landed on PJ's head as it's taken off as PJ is stammering. Max introduces PJ to Debbie as PJ shakes her hand and calls her Dweebie. OUCH! PJ then proclaims that she doesn't look like she's into torture. Hmmm; so is PJ implying that Max might be embellishing the truth a lot; or maybe outright...ummm...lying?! Perish the thought! Goofs NEVER lie, am I right?! Debbie instantly asks Max if he's still insisting that she tried to choke him to death with baby powder (second death reference in the episode). Ummmmmmm...yip. Max denies it; because he's an...you guessed it. Max hits PJ's belly and talks about Double Behemoth burgers as PJ stammers like an idiot. Debbie loves this because the Burger Behemoth Drive In is the best burger joint in the world. Well; if Debbie says it is, then it must be true; Duke dweeb busting squad aside.
So basically; Debbie accepts Max's offer to go to the Burger Behemoth Drive In for supper as PJ salivates. Max holds Debbie's hand and they walk out towards the car as Max proclaims that he'll be back with the burgers. So we head out into the streets of Spoonerville AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Debbie is driving and Max is the "navigator" of this outfit. Max tells Debbie that there is one thing about this particular drive-in that he hasn't told her yet. Max asks Debbie to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night; while praying. Debbie is confused as they drive into the Burger Behemoth drive-in and park right next to the hot rod car where Duke and the blond haired woman are chowing down on food. Wow; the Backyardigans would watch this and say: "Geez; that was awfully convenient of them!" Duke is eating as the blond haired woman is impressed with Max's waving. Duke is about to back up his car and then stops and catches himself looking more confused than I am. Debbie is not looking too comfrontable here as Duke is so charmed by this Debbie fellow that the blond haired woman is now realizing that she is going to be dumped now since she has her frown dump face on while the hot rod crashes into a lamp pole; which causes Duke's face to bounce back and forward in order to bonk into a tray of ketchup. The denizens all laugh at his expense for being a stupid idiot who is probably NOT drunk. Max is weeing in glee as Duke's bodyguards aren't laughing, which is really odd and proves that they aren't stupid henchmen. Nowadays; those henchmen laugh at him too; because everyone has to be stupid because being stupid is funny. Sometimes it is; sometimes it isn't. Context is your friend everyone! Max of course blows his cover as this has been going on for SIX months. What an insecure dweeb Max is?! Debbie is not exactly thrilled by this; but she thanks him anyway since she knows what it's like to be called a dweeb. Hmmm; do I sense that she's implying that Max is projecting here? I hope so. So the rollerskater waiter from earlier comes in and asks for orders. Disney Captions is claiming that she was chewing gum. That did not happen in the audio. Same order as always; only for four this time: Goofy, Max, Debbie and PJ of course. Max also starts to get a little more desperate as Duke has woken up for his stupor and revs up the hot rod. Duke drives left and then backs up the car next to the pink corvette Debbie is driving. Smoke ensues; but no coughing.
Duke sounds incredibly drunk now as he goes for Debbie's hair and looks as insulting as his words. About damn time Duke turned into a sexist heel instead of a sexist tweener who I'm forced to cheer against my will. Duke asks her why she's hanging out with a dweeb like Max. Ummm; because she's Max's cousin?! That would be the biggest reason. Second biggest reason: He's a lot less sexist than you, Duke! Debbie of course no sells and hugs Max calling him a brick brain. HA! Duke grabs Debbie's arm because apparently; Duke is such a sexist bastard that he wants to make her his you know what! I hope Debbie MURDERS him; Duke is clearly more drunk than that bouncer in For Whom The Bell Klangs Part One. Apparently; Debbie is the new Queen of the Pharoahs. I betcha the original one was the blond haired woman in the hot rod car. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm good and Duke pushes a red button and she gets the Team Rocket exit from a raised chair. Not as bad as Pinch Sitter's ending with Kendell; because at least this woman didn't get assaulted with mud and clothes. Still that was one violent dumping of a girlfriend. I hope he sues Duke for non-support; I'm certainly he has a pot to piss in since he can offer free Double Behemoth Burgers for everyone he likes. Oh wait; she lands in the conveniently placed dumpster. When are modern cartoons going to stop stealing the worst spots from ancient cartoons and make irredeemable spots of their own?! I wish the critics would say that because that would expose their confirmation bias; and amuse me to no end. The blond haired woman is now wearing pink pants and red pumps and calls Duke, Dukie. Well; Duke is full of poop for doing that on her; so calling him Dukie is quite accurate. So Duke is grabbing Debbie's wrists while Debbie struggles to get free. Max tries to run in; but the light brown haired bodyguard grabs him and sits him down blowing him off because you don't talk to the King of the Pharaohs that way. Geez; I thought the real king of the Pharaohs was Pharaoh Man from Mega Man 4. I mean; he punched Mega Man in the face! Let's see Duke do that to Max! Anything to get back at Max for punching PJ in the face in Slightly Dinghy. The rollerskater waiter rollerskates in and the meal is fourteen fifty. Is there a "Buy two meals; get two more for $7.01" deal at this burger joint? Max gives her a twenty and tells her to keep the change. Max grabs the tray as Debbie continues to struggle with Duke.
Duke wants to cruise and Debbie finally pushes back and invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH on Duke! And a good one, too! Duke struggles to get up and proclaims that no one does that to the Pharaohs and gets away with it. Max proclaims that he's right as he brings out a straw filled with a French fry and blow darts the red button in which Duke is in the navigator's seat; and gets bounced out of his hot rod car. The blond haired woman gets out of the dumpster as Duke lands in the dumpster. The bodyguards are shocked and appalled. The light brown haired bodyguard turns around and demands them to get the dweeb. Max blow darts fries like a machine gun at the heels as they hide behind an oil barrel. Disney Captions has the dark brown haired bodyguard as Eddie and the one screaming in pain and pinned against the wall with fries as J.J. Eddie takes a ketchup filled burger in the face for fun as Max twirls a straw. Debbie giggles and calls this nice shooting asking if Max has a license of that thing. The answer is obviously no as Debbie backs up the car and drives away. Duke pops from the dumpster and the blond haired woman returns and slams a Behemoth Burger Happy Meal of Death on him. HAHA! Max waves goodbye to him on the way home and taunts him to boot. Duke proclaims that Max won this round and the next round is his; so this feud must continue to end the segment fourteen minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to Max's backyard as PJ and Max are on the step as Max accurately explains to PJ what happened, while using Honeymooner references. Debbie is sitting down under the umbrella stand table with Goofy. Max calls it beautiful and that is true as Debbie references Max channeling Machine Gun Kelly. Goofy puts some litter in the trash can and his hand is stuck in a cup. Goofy wanted in on the action next time; which would be a riot anywhere in the cartoon world. Max rides down the rail on his skateboard and groans. Debbie is not buying Max's lame attempt to hide the skateboard; as she asks how he did that. Max claims that if Goofy went; then it'll prove that he's just a kid. Debbie asks what the hell is wrong with that? Ummm; something about abuse of power not mixing with a child in power?! PJ I think slipped and fell off his skateboard for no reason. Max and PJ ask Debbie to ask Duke about it. Debbie insists that he's rushing it because you are only young once and it's gone forever. Donald Trump is living proof that this is false as Max blows it off because he is a kid. Yes; so what the hell is your point, Max? Max then proclaims that if Debbie wasn't there, he would be majorly trashed for it as Max walks away. Debbie grabs the skateboard and proclaims that he's got a lot more going for it than Max thinks. Max blows it off because Duke has a car. I wish he said: "And Kit surfs clouds and can fly an airplane; and he's only six months older than I am!". But alas. He's also got two bodyguards as Debbie claims that she has a plan. She motions over to Max and PJ and we scene change to the Burger Behemoth Drive In as Duke is drinking a container of soda in his hot rod car. The rollerskating waiter rolls in and Duke gets off a sexist remark on the woman and the woman backslaps his arm and rollerskates away stage left, calling him bug breath. In comes Max on his skateboard cheering as he jumps and lands with his skateboard right in the passenger side of Duke's hot rod. Max jumps out of the car and tries to bail; but Duke grabs him and threatens to pound him into hamburger. Yum...Goof hamburger. SLURP! POW! OUCH! Ummm...In comes Debbie walking like she doesn't care and greets Duke once and Max twice. This causes Duke's jaw to drop in shock; that Max has to push up his jaw to shut it. Jump cut to Debbie at a table drinking a container of soda that came out of nowhere.
Duke is jealous as he smacks Max's back asking what Max has got that Duke don't got. Ummm; some basic human decency, even if he's almost as quirky as Goofy. Almost. Max talks and proclaims that they are breaking up. Duke is shocked to hear that considering that Debbie is showing no sign of hate towards Max at all. Duke is falling for it because it's a stupid idiot on top of being a sexist twit. Max claims that he's moving onto bigger and better things. Hopefully; I that involves actually growing up. Duke grabs Max and threatens violence; but is willing to let him live long enough to ask him how he got Debbie to like Max in the first place. Max decides that he's dumping her, so there's no harm in sharing his secret. Max runs stage left out of sight and then tells Duke to come over here. Duke foolishly walks into the same direction as Max as we jump cut to the bodyguards looking confused and having a burger while making hand signals. Jump cut to Max behind the bushes motioning to Duke. Duke runs to the bushes as Duke hides behind the bushes. The bodyguards listen from a short distance as Max claims that he knows what Debbie likes. Max explains that Debbie's outfit is the difference and it's like a job in dressing for success. Ooookkkkaaayyyy, whatever you say Max. Duke is confused but he agrees to do whatever Max says. This cannot end well for Duke, I assure thee. So we scene change to the parking lot of the Burger Behemoth as the teenagers are shooting the breeze in a G-rated way. Everyone sees Duke wearing the most 1920'ish children school student gear I have ever seen and it looks so ill-fitting that the FASHION POLICE OF LAW would kill themselves. Seriously; I mean it. Debbie is in the front seat of the car eating during this as the denizens are laughing at Duke, while the bodyguards are shocked and appalled. Duke is cutting promos about dressing for success and Debbie is laughing hard at this. Where is Johnny Knoxville's GIANT SLAP HAND OF DEATH when we need it; because Duke is such a tool. The bodyguards come in to inform them that Duke is embarrassing the Pharaohs. You don't say?! Duke backs up and walks over to Max; grabbing him as he is holding back his laughter. Duke is ready to slug him; but Max claims Duke is doing great...at being a tool. Okay; Max didn't say that, but we all know it's true. Max tells him to so the donkey goo-goo alphabet rap. The WHAT?! Duke is asking the same thing right now.
Max is set down on his feet claiming that this will be like putty in her hands. Duke walk with Max and accuses him of making him look like a geek. You mean "a dork" Duke; because "geek" is often a complement, not an insult even though it's incorrectly used as one. Duke and Max go into the bushes as Duke is so stupid that he still plays along with this. Scene change back to the denizens at the burger joint laughing like nuts now. The bodyguards are shocked and horrified as Duke is now dressed up as a baby on a hobby jackass with alphabet blocks. Yip; he's officially a tool now! Duke yells at everyone to shut up. Good luck on that one, Duke; which actually works! Wow; that was strong as Duke goes over to Debbie's car and does the Donkey Goo-Goo Alphabet Rap and...I have never heard the original one by Max at any point; but even without seeing it, I can safely conclude that Duke's version is complete crap without contradiction. The bodyguards are shocked and appalled in that order as Debbie thankfully pulls Duke's bib, calling him a tyke and orders him to take a hike because she's giving her diaper rash. YAY! So he's springed off his plush jackass and he crashes into a conveniently placed trash can which looks like a sand pail from the beach, natch. The bodyguard come in to console him as Duke deduces that Max has suckered him. Geez; you THINK?! Max is on the lawn laughing his ass off; but he gets caught by Duke and the bodyguards as they are ready to kill this dweeb whom made Duke a geek..ERRR..I mean, a tool. Debbie comes in and calls Max a sleazeball; and has no trouble wanting to take him out. Duke wants to pound him; but Debbie cuts him off because Duke needs to beat Max the slime on his own turf. Duke likes this and then like an idiot; he asks what the turf is that? Max does the Gruffi pose and challenges him to a skateboard race. Duke thinks Max is kidding as Debbie explains that they go through the junkyard, down the park and back. Duke wins; Debbie is Duke's queen and Max is screwed from Burger Behemoth forever (Yeah; they didn't say it, but I'm certain it's true); but if Max wins; he gets all the Behemoth Burgers he can eat. Max clears his throat and Debbie also adds the triple cheese part. Somehow; the bodyguards are pleading Duke not to do it. Max and Debbie taunt Duke as being a chicken coward. Duke yells at everyone to shut up...and he accepts the challenge because he's the King Of The Pharaohs, you see.
Scene change to a street as the rollerskating waiter pours ketchup on the street to create a starting line. I hope they got the proper permits for this; because I would hate to see a good burger joint go out of business for causing vandalism on the streets like this. Debbie yells to Max and Duke to get on their boards. They get on their boards and Duke still hasn't changed since Max put him in that toddler outfit earlier. Crowd cheers and is clearly too close to be doing nothing but daring a lawsuit in this whole thing. Duke and Max roll to the starting line. Debbie brings out a hanky and we get set as Max and Duke look at each other. Debbie swipes the hanky and we are GO!! So Max and Duke start skateboarding down the street away from the hard camera as the crowd cheers for death. Most are pretty much cheering for Max to win; which is a bad sign for Duke even if he wins. Duke is just behind Max; but Max is on the skateboard riding and doing nothing but being smug. Duke is finished now. Duke clips Max from behind as Max does a backflip onto the skateboard in the process. Duke thinks he's ahead and then we get the old "mach trucks come straight at us" spot; only it's two mach trucks in a two way street with one lane. Duke goes through the trucks and somehow gets flatter than my sex life even though Duke was clearly big enough to pass through without getting flattened. Bad logic there guys and shame on Scott and Wells to do that; just to make Duke get mailed in the mail box. Max knocks on mailbox and then skateboards away. Why would you bother doing that when you are going to win anyway? Duke breaks the mailbox open with letters flying because you cannot have the babyfaces getting all the "destroy people's properties with impunity" fun now, can't we? So we head into A-1 Wrecking Yard (Which is fitting considering how awful A-1 Productions was when they animated Rescue Rangers three years before this) as we do the junkyard obstacle course. IT'S UNCENSORED BABEE~! Oh; the irony?! Max is perfect; Duke is a disaster and lands on his ass on the skateboard looking backwards. They race up the junkpile and Max uses the moving wrecking ball (at night?!) to swing and come down safely on the ground. Duke gets to the top; dodges the wrecking ball and then gets whacked in the ass by it and freefalls into a pile of tires. Max mocks him before leaving stage left. Duke sneezes and pops out on the skateboard with a tire around his body.
He follows Max stage left and we head into the playground and Max ramps off the slide as Max does a stunt off of it. It looked cool; but Kit would yawn at such stuff and say: "Try that ten thousand feet in the air; Max." Duke tries the ramp and lands on the seesaw and somehow; Max was behind it, but he still got slingshot anyway. Explain THAT one, kids! Max flies into the air and where he lands, do we care? Max stomps on the seesaw and Duke flies into the air and where he lands, does Max even care? Duke crashes into the sand; which causes the steel rod jungle gym to pop off from the ground and land on Duke. This playground is NOT UP TO CODE~! At all! Duke whines that this is not how you treat the King of The Pharaohs. He's right. He deserves even WORSE than that! So he cries and whines as we scene change to Max coming into the parking lot; does another flip and lands on the building proclaiming that the leader is here as he declares himself the new King Of The Pharaohs. Max then realizes that he has only forty cents left in his pockets; so the bodyguards have to pay for the Double Behemoth Burgers as everyone is cheering, despite the fact it's clear that everyone has PJ's voice. The bodyguards are not amused as all the teenagers are eating in the morning as we head to the wooden fence as Duke and his bodyguards basically repeat the exact same promo Max and PJ did at the beginning of the episode. Duke decides that maybe they should just ask them to let them have one and they pop up from the fence as PJ, Max and Debbie are at the table eating and they blow them off because there's no more geeks on the Pharaoh's turf. HAHA! So Max laughs and we fade to black to end...Oh wait; Max then says "Not"! And he offers them a burger on them! Now THAT is a great ending and I am with BS&P for once. For one; Duke got his comeupperance and it's not like he's going to try to get his revenge on Max again. I mean, Debbie with Max for goodness sakes. Second; by ending the episode with them blowing them off; it just repeats the cycling of bullying. Max is not a monster heel and having it end that way makes Max into a little heel who just wants revenge rather than breaking the cycle; so having him say that final line makes sense actually. I approve of this BS&P meddling and we circle fade out to end the episode and volume 1 officially at 21:13. Best episode of the series, bar none, minus a few logic breaks by Sunwoo Animation near the end. Debbie is the best new character of the show by a mile and Duke was a pretty good heel. **** 3/4 (95%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow; this episode really did live up to my expections as the best episode of the series. And it's so amazing too. No Pete, no Pistol, no Peg. Goofy barely gets three minutes of screen time tops. Max and PJ were probably having their best performances of the entire episode. Debbie is the best new character of the show; and it's a crying shame because she should be in the regular rotation to boot! She was awesome in this entire ordeal and she and Max really had some of the best chemistry I have ever seen in this show. Duke was a perfectly fine sexist heel who hated dweebs. The finish was actually a bit anticlimatic mostly because Sunwoo was blowing spots again; but they couldn't help themselves, but everything was booked perfectly. The ending: If it was changed to add the final line at the end with Max; then it was a better decision than ending it with the taunt because it prevented Max from turning heel and making him look no different from Duke. Max's insecurities actually were tempered a lot by Debbie's responses, so that was a win. PJ was PJ and probably the only weak spot of the episode outside of the Sunwoo spot blowing. One more note: The pacing of this episode was awesome here. It felt like a real 22 minute episode as opposed to an eleven minute plot stretched out to 22 minutes with extreme padding. There was very little of it here. This is certainly the best Marion Wells script I have ever seen; even if it's a duo with Jeffrey Scott and I must say that it was the exact opposite of every average Goof Troop episode I have seen. This didn't feel tedious and slow at all. This flowed beautifully and I was rooting for the characters at the end instead of asking: "Please let it be over." I wish every episode was like that. So, next up is Volume two; which I'll start with one or two random episodes before starting the pilot next weekend. At least I won't have to hear the jackhammer noises in my DVD again. So...
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.