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Terminal Pete
Reviewed: 02/10/2017
Well; His Personality Is Certainly Terminal.
Well; now that we got Inspector Goofy out of the way; we continue on as Pete and Goofy play up the misunderstanding plot device that everyone hates so much as Pete thinks he is dying, ala Baloo in Bearly Alive. Yeah; Pete focused plots tend to suck a lot; like Monty focused plots in Rescue Rangers. So how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Stephen Levi and the late Bruce Talkington whom also story edited and did an additional voice. The animation was provided by Wang Film Productions.
Opening Moment #1: Like Shake, Rattle & Goof; this episode uses the first opening unlike "Inspector Goof" which uses the second opening. Yeah; it's Rescue Rangers all over again only it's the footage and not the music.
We begin this one with pink wood trim episode letters and a sky shot of the suburban Spoonerville. Pan over to Goofy's backyard and then zoom into Pete's backyard as we jump cut to Chainsaw snoring in the backyard. Chainsaw wakes up as he jumps into the air on cue as Pete comes in acting like a redneck on his green lawnmower tractor. Jump cut to Chainsaw trying to do chinups on a branch of a tree and failing badly. Pan west to Waffles being a smugass; making certain that he justifies the abuse he usually gets from Goofy. Rule #1 of arguments: Never give the other side ammunition; even if they cannot refute your arguments. Know thy enemy, know thy stupidity. So Waffles causally walks over and tickles Chainsaw under the armpits, because...why not? Chainsaw laughs badly and let's go of the branch; getting WARNERED in the process. Chainsaw somehow falls into an out of nowhere hole in the backyard that we never saw until now. Huh?! Chainsaw bounces into the air and out comes...Gopher? From Winnie The Pooh; only he cannot speak a lick now? Chainsaw falls flat on his face as Gopher protests this outrage. I yawn in response. In comes Pete with the lawnmower tractor as Gopher and Chainsaw bail into the hole; Chainsaw gets booted out and lands right in Pete's face. Tractor bumps into tree and Waffles gets WARNERED! Waffles falls in gopher hole and that fall lasts about five seconds before the bump occurs. Waffles gets booted out of course as Gopher comes out to give Waffles the business; but they are forced to bail because Pete cannot see a damn thing. Gopher somehow went back into his hole and returns with a blue purse and clothes on a stick and storms off stage right. Pete ruins the lawn and turns it golden brown. Oh wait; that's the next episode, my mistake. Whoa, Nelly; we end up in a bunch of daisies and Pete grabs Chainsaw proclaiming that he hates flowers. And probably ruined lawns, too. Jump cut to Goofy in his backyard digging a hole and measuring it with the tape measure. Goofy calls it perfect as the tape measure refuses to go back into a compressed position and pefers a stretched position. Goofy fights tape measure; Goofy gets tied up by the tape measure. Goofy breaks the tape measure after calling it defective and tells the hole to stay put; because he'll be back in a jiffy. Because lubing a hole requires some Jiffy Lube. HA! I kill me! Goofy bails as Gopher comes in and measures the hole; calling it perfect. Yeah; I'll bet.
Gopher dives into the hole Goofy dug; because he's voiced by I believe the late Bruce Talkington or Frank Welker depending on what mood I was in doing this rant. Goofy returns with a wheelbarrow containing a small tree. Goofy plants tree calling it, it's new home. Tree is rejected by Gopher. Goofy is confused and calls it spring planting. Goofy plants tree; tree pops out as Goofy wipes his hands clean. Goofy rolls up sleeves not amused anymore; and you know he's serious when he's spitting on his Mickey Mouse gloves. So we get some planting springing action for a while to amuse me some more as Goofy is tired and panting. Goofy is not happy anymore and we slam the tree into the hole and Goofy does the jackhammer spot with his legs. The clouds of dust overwhelm the screen and as they clear; the hole is completely unchanged anyway. That makes no sense at all as Goofy claims that gardening takes a little tender love and care. It also takes logic and reason; which Goofy is very short of. Tree pops out and hits Goofy in the chest; and he oversells it by bumping on his back about twenty feet away from the hole with the tree on his belly. Goofy runs over to the hole and tries to grab something, pulling back, showing off his squash and stretch method which looks goofy and then gets pulled into the hole, making him go out of sight. Redneck scream ensues as Gopher drags Goofy out of the hole onto the surface; wipes it's hands clean and goes back into the hole. Goofy blows him off and bails; returning with the garden hose as he aims to give Gopher that long overdue bath. I don't understand why Michael Gough was unavailable to play Gopher; since he was playing voices throughout this series anyway. Goofy drives down the garden hose as we sky shot pan to Pete's backyard as Pete is relaxing on his lawnmower tractor with an umbrella and a can of peanuts on his belly. Pete burps and is generally enjoying himself. Pete pets tractor and wonders if Peg will let him keep the tractor in the bedroom. Answer: Of course not! In comes Pistol with most mixed nuts, acting annoying. Pete pets Pistol on the head and asks what she wants; and Pistol wants Pete to play with her. Pete kindly no sells because he's pooped, you see as Gopher pops up from the ground in Pete's backyard. Pete tells Pistol to go play with someone else and make miserable, Pistol sees Gopher and plucks him from the ground. Gopher is begging and Pete thinks Pistol is begging and tells her to buzz off on that. Jerk.
Pete then turns around and panics because Pistol is playing with Gopher and some mixed nuts. Gopher burps on cue as he loves mixed nuts too. Pete I betcha hopes he chokes on them as much as Goofy would. Speaking of the Goofster; Goofy continues to push in more garden hose into the hole. Yeah; we are five minutes into this scene and nothing of note has happened yet. Pete grabs Pistol and protests this outrage because Gopher is a wild animal. That is slander if I ever heard it. Pistol is sitting in the back of the tractor with Pete starting it up because he accuses the Gopher of ruining the backyard. What a horrible judge of character Pete is?! Even Pistol is defending Gopher, so you know Pete's full of crap. Gopher bails as Pete calls him Pistol's ex-friend. From the hole Gopher dug; out comes the garden hose as we jump cut to Goofy's arm turning on the sprinkler system. Pistol runs off the tractor and heads to protect Gopher. Pete is yelling as Goofy lets go a blob of water from the hose and it sprays Pete in the ass and he jumps into the air as the tractor drives away stage left. The tractor makes a figure eight into the lawn and then slices the garden hose, causing Pete to free fall and crash flat on his face on the ground. Goofy runs in swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh my gosh!) and is amused because he fixed the wrong little varmint. HEE HEE! Pete mock talks back and wishes he was Baloo in Mach One For The Gipper. Pete gets up and grabs Goofy by the tie, readying himself to slug Goofy a new one; but Goofy points to Pistol being chased by the lawnmower tractor, and sounding less annoying while this happens. Gopher comes dangerously close to the thing as Goofy wants Gopher, Pete wants the mower and they both want to scream for Pistol. The tractor chases Pistol whom Gopher is running with her being carried over Gopher's head. Pistol runs around and away as the tractor circles the tree and somehow cuts it down with Waffles still on the tree branch. Goofy and Pete run in as Gopher and Pistol run in the opposite direction having a meet and greet in between this. Goofy and Pete realize and notice the tractor coming straight at them. You wanna see repeition in a DTVA show; this spot is one of the most annoying in this series, bar none. Goofy and Pete bail and it's the Scooby-Doo Chase Sequence The Lawnmower Edition~! Goofy dives into the swimming pool as Pete tries to get in; but the tractor crashes into Pete, we get muted screaming and light flashes before we fade to black. It took six and a half minutes for the plot to advance here as we return to see the backyard is a mess as the swimming pool is destroyed of course. Pan over to the sheltered bench in the backyard as Pete is lying down on the bench with his eyes open and appears to be sleeping. He is seriously hurt and Peg should be calling a doctor instead of asking him to speak to her on the swinging bench.
Pistol, PJ, Max (with a black mask on; in an obvious Wang Films coloring mistake) and Goofy are watching on. Pete is groggy; but can see Peg as he wants a pony for Christmas. Pete is knocked silly as Goofy panics as it's time to calls the imfirmiary...ERRR...infoamery...ERRRR...the hospital. The gang grab Pete as Goofy wants to drive. The babyfaces are shocked as we head to the streets of Spoonerville as Goofy's driving is worse than Pete's since it causes cars to turn into machine like horses with neighing sounds. Goofy's car races as we get some of the worst drawings of maps on the sky shot; that leads to a multiple car pile up and cars stopping. This leads to Goofy's jeep already crashed into a conveniently placed brown tree. Hey; am I watching "He's Bonkers", again?! Pan over to the hospital and this one doesn't have a the Red Cross logo, nor a Pandemic Star on it. It looks like an apartment building to me. Jump cut to PJ in the waiting room reading a magazine about antomony as we see stylized organs clear as mud. Thank goodness they didn't show photo realistic ones; that would have scared everyone away, not just the MG's. Moral guardians, everyone. Max gags and is almost ready to vomit judging by his face, reading this. Good thing he doesn't watch R-rated anime; he would lose his organs from over the top vomitting. Pistol and Peg are playing with string; looking concerned while Goofy is pondering stuff. Gopher is also there in a chair reading a magazine while Goofy is actually pondering how to get the round log into the square hole, because he's an idiot. Gopher gnaws through the magazine to waste some more time and eats it. Then the doctor comes in (a short guy with a shaving brush hairstyle and mustache; with glasses on) and informs Peg that Pete's head is fine. Then admits that it's back to normal since his head is made of solid bone. Are you sure you are not confusing Pete with Dumptruck, doc? So Peg is relieved and thanks him as the doctor wants to shoot some more x-rays to make sure everything is fine before taking him home. Then the doctor pets Gopher and talks to him like a human being. Why?! Why not?! Pistol holds Gopher and proclaims that it's her and the doctor gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and panics as Gopher squeezes the doctor's nose for good measure. Yeah; this doctor needs his medical license revoked. Or at least he needs a new prescription and fitting of new glasses. The doctor orders Gopher out because this is a hospital, not a cartoon. Yip; this guy has no grasp of reality at all.
So Gopher bails and runs around the hospital, dodging patients. At least no patients were harmed; unlike Axed By Addition; so BS&P has clearly stepped in at this point. Gopher runs into the room where Pete is lying on a grungey with IV's and a blanket as he's still groggy. Pete apparently hates sweetheart dances judging by the promo he cuts. Gopher hides in Pete's blankets on his belly; causing him to giggle. So we hear a doctor saying that they need a few pictures for the X-rays and we're done as they bring the x-ray machine and forget to check to see if there is anything that is going to obstruct the picture. I wish that they had the doctors start the scene with Pete talking about doing the x-rays and then leave before Gopher comes in. At least then; it makes it look like the doctor did everything they could do, and then stuff happens. Instead; I have no clue weither the doctors did the check or not and it makes them look like idiots. So we smile (well; Gopher does as he pops out clear as day) and the X-ray takes the picture. Okay; this proves the doctors are stupid because all they have to do is tell the doctor that the Gopher showed up in the photos and that is that. The problem with that is: It doesn't advance the plot because the plot is based on Bearly Alive which has been done twice already in TaleSpin and Ducktales, and this one is even less convincing since the doctors have already seen that Gopher was interfering with the shot. But they have to ignore it anyway because the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT says you must. So we head inside the hallway just outside as Pete and Gopher are snoring together in perfect harmony. Awww; my heart melted as Pistol comes in with a canister of mixed nuts and bangs it to get Gopher's attention. Gopher wakes up and jumps from the bed, runs up and dives into the canister of mixed nuts and Pistol bails out of the room. Pete wakes up with shutter eyes opening as some of the men outside call this horrible. Pete is frightened like a timid rabbit as the two men are proclaiming that they cannot believe "he" let it get so bad. Pete is amusing that "he" is himself of course as the doctors proclaim that ripping it out and starting over won't work and it's all over for him as Pete can only say "mama" and that ends the segment nine minutes in. Oh lord; this is the misunderstanding death plot and this might be the least convincing one of them all.
After the commercial break; we return with Pete holding his white blanket like a security blanket as the doctors proclaim that it's the end of the line for this puppy. Pete is in denial and calls it impossible; calling it flum-doodle. Well; Pete's reaction is really realistic on the writers part; so kudos to them at least. Zoom out of his room as he is holding pillows over his ears and discover that they are in the cleaning area as the sinks and pipes are torn out. We see two dognoses in hard hats (one is fat and wearing grey overalls with a brown shirt and one of them is wearing a red shirt with boots as they discuss ripping out more sinks; so yes, Pete was right in not listening to them. We discover that the fat dognose's name is Toby as Toby is sort of cooking with gas. In comes the doctor protesting this outrage as the two goofs were fixing a leaky faucet and didn't have the right washer; so they made it up as they went along showing a sack of washers. The doctor is rightfully pissed off as he tries to kick their asses and the two goofs bail out of the room. Because this doctor hates gophers and comedy, I guess. What an old fart he is?! Jump cut to Goofy slipping on the kicked washers and pipes and falling flat on his face as Toby and Tall run out stage left. The doctor blows Goofy off for wanting to ruin his faucets. Oh lord; what an asshole this doctor is?! Goofy dusts himself off as he gets up and claims that he would think nothing of the sort. Ummm; Goofy is a lot more dangerous when he doesn't think. Goofy only wants to know how Pete's doing. The doctor recoils and thinks it's all right for him to come into the area as they walk in. The doctor finds the x-ray images on the counter as we jump cut to Pete with the pillows around his ears suffering. He has had enough of this "torture" and wants to know the truth. But can he handle the truth?! Probably not. Pete jumps from the grungy and runs to the door as the doctor cannot believe what he is seeing on the x-ray. Goofy asks if this is bad as the doctor laughs. Yip; he's an asshole. Pete looks on as he calls himself a medical joke and a riddle of mother nature. The doctor puts the x-ray up to see (the one with Pete & the gopher of course) and claims that Pete is either terminal or a gopher. This cease being funny because we know that your x-ray techinicans have to ignore this because the plot demands it! Bearly Alive was much more convincing than this. Goofy asks if Pete's a goner and the doctor shoves him because he's on a roll here. Jerk!
He asks Goofy is he knows how many times there was something to laugh about in the hospital. Umm; it's time for the good doctor to retire and watch ER shows on TLC, STAT! The doctor elbows Goofy and proclaims that he won't last until Groundhog day. That would have worked a lot better; if Gopher was actually a groundhog. Massive bad joke, epic fail! By the way; TaleSpin and Ducktales got to the "I'm dying" parts at least four to five minutes BEFORE this episode has even got to the setup of this. Think about that for a moment and sulk! Goofy doesn't get it; but Pete of course thinks the doctor is being serious. The doctor treats Goofy's response like it's a joke. I think we found someone who is a bigger scoiopathic asshole than Pete Pete. Ponder that one for a moment. The doctor slaps Goofy in the back so hard; I'm shocked Goofy doesn't need surgery for it. The doctor jokes some more and Doctor O'Meyer was a much better person that this asshole; and O'Meyer is a mechanical doctor; not a real doctor! Ponder that one for a moment and realize that this assholish doctor is causing splash damage to real life doctor who have to put up with the crap of quackmeisters and woomeisters the world over. Plus; the writers are clearly doing this because this is a show that is required to go twenty two minutes; but has nothing to show that it can even go eleven minutes. Goofy is selling it like the doctor is serious because he has no sense that the doctor is joking which makes the doctor look even more malicious. The doctor wants to joke prank on Pete as he's helping Goofy up as Pete comes in sulking as he heard everything and like Goofy; he thinks the doctor is serious about him being dead. The doctor blows him off and orders Pete to go home since there's nothing more they can do here. I'm shocked that he hasn't told Pete to sell him his spare parts. Yet. Pete grabs him and pleads for the doctor to not tell his family. Yeah; because if he did, the doctor will say that Pete is actually fine and that would end the episode right there. The doctor of course blows him off and thinks they don't have a sense of humor either as the doctor storms out. My doctor is much better in professional conduct than this loser. The doctor slams the door and Goofy blows off the doctor's bedside manners as Pete finally gets off death reference #1 of the episode over eleven and a half minutes in.
Goofy tells him not to worry because he'll be there when he dies and Pete sobs loudly. Of course. Goofy and Pete then hug and cry together in a really rare moment of humanity for both of them; even though the whole thing is bullcrap. Circle fade to black and then we return to Pete's residence as Pete makes metaphors about life nipping him in the bud. Pete sits down in his chair wondering what the world is going do without sweet, amiable me? Ummm; nothing that don't do when you were alive, even if you were legit sweet and amiable. That's what life normally does. Chainsaw jumps onto Pete's left knee and Pete blows him off; causing Chainsaw to flee stage right. Because he was being profound; you see. Yeah; that was the most fakest attempt of being profound I have ever seen. Most henchmen have more profoundness than Pete would ever have. And Pete's the number one "heel" of this asisine sitcom show. Pete then blames Chainsaw for getting his "gopher" beating this time. Geez Pete; you art really dumb. Dumber is his sweet talking routine as Peg is vacuuming the floor and generally ignoring him. Now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shuan Desmond.
Peg yells at Pete to lift his feet and Pete lifts them and puts them on the railing in a polite manner. Of course; it's Peg and Peg would put him in the doghouse if he didn't do that. More melodramatics with PJ and Pistol being mentioned. I love how he calls the dog stupid; because you would think he was calling his actual tool chainsaw stupid. Well; it takes a stupid idiot to know about stupid. Pete wants to make a difference while he's still here because apparently; he doesn't want to be forgotten. Well; that worked out better since Pete is on the A-list of heel characters in Disney; so I don't think that was a hard thing to do. It would have spared us this episode, that is for sure. Pete bails and returns, dumping Chainsaw on the chair and blows him off anyway. Pete then takes the nozzle from Peg and Peg demands answers to this "scheme", calling him Peter. Pete wants to vacuum the floor and Peg asks if he's all right as Pete assures her that he's all right. And he's right. Pete is fine; but Pete is an idiot who thinks all doctors are serious assclowns. Pete's promo on doing chores once in a while looked pretty creepy to me. Pete goes back into the living room as Peg thinks he might actually have a concussion. Nah; if he was concussed, he would be reliving his childhood years again. Pete makes a sexist comment about women and hard work because they don't turn up the vacuum cleaner a notch; so Pete turns it up a notch and now this episode uber sucks! HAHA! And no Ron; you are not repeating this promo...
Captain Obvious: Yeah; he sucks more than Professor Buzz's trash compactor.
Thanks, Captain Obvious! Lots of sucking and causing roof damage ensues as Chainsaw whimpers; but Peg pulls the plug before anyone sucking can be done in this episode. Sadly; she cannot stop the doctor from sucking ass in bad jokes. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Peg comes in and feigns thanking him for cleaning up as Pete looks like he knows he is going to be screamed at by Peg. And Peg screams at Pete, ordering him to go help someone else in Austraila. Oh come on, Peg; we don't need another animation company being poisoned by Pete's suckage. That's Kennedy Cartoons' gimmick! Ha-yuck! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Scene change to outside Pete's house as we sort of zoom into the garage as Pete is showing off his tools which includes a Russian army jackhammer. I don't believe Pete for one second that it came from Russia because in Russia, jackhammer hammers you! Wait; he has a portable oil derrick?! I find that hard to believe, too. Anyhow; this sets up Goofy doing the Kit spot of handling more stuff than this own body weight; which doesn't annoy me nearly as much when Goofy is the victim than it does with Kit. Goofy has no idea what to say and Pete tells him to think nothing of it. Ummm; Goofy is much more dangerous when he doesn't think. Pete wants Goofy to love them like family and Goofy walks out promising to as Pete is stepping on the cord; causing Goofy to trip and fall; crashing off-screen in a tomb of tools. Tools go flying, redneck screams ensue, this is getting silly now. Death reference #2 ensues as Pete thinks Goofy is too dumb to live. Nah; I think he's too dumb to die. Head inside PJ's room as PJ is wearing Rebecca's sweater on for no reason. He's in the rocket bed reading comics with Max who is reading on the floor. In comes Pete with a brown shirt on showing off a hanger of ties to PJ; because he might need them. They are power ties as he sits down near his son and proclaims that he needs them to grow up like his own dad. Riiigggghhhttttt. Grow up to abuse his own kids and making them look weak, yeah; very rich. So Pete puts on ties and it's clear that he invests in TIE WOO~! It's the tie version of shampoo woo! PJ's response: Keep them for now and maybe I'll borrow them later. HAHA! Pete groans on cue and embraces PJ as to him; it's better to have them now then later, for good luck. Max isn't all that impressed by this tie woo as Pete calls him Goofette, implying that Max is a girl. UGH! Pete flicks a quarter to Max and tells him not to spend it all in one place. So yes; Pete hates Max more than Goofy in storyline. Well; Max did screw up Pete's RV, so I can see why he's not giving Max anything special. Pete walks out and the kids are shocked by this. PJ scratches his head and wonders what is wrong with him as we head out to the backyard near the sheltered swing bench as Pistol is having a pretend tea party with Gopher.
That is exactly what I saw. In come Pete calling for Pistol-face as Gopher is eating what appears to be crescent moon shaped chocolate chip cookies. Pete sees Gopher and now is pissed because the gopher ruined his life, see. Nah; it was the asshole doctor who ruined your life. The doctor may or may not vote Republican too. Pete then recoils and says mower before grabbing the gopher as he bails. Why he had to change what he said is a mystery to me because saying "wrecked my life" is not a metaphor for dying. Get over it, writers of the world. Pistol comes in pleading for Pete not to kill him. Pete asks why he shouldn't and Pistol claims that the gopher is her friend. And really; who can argue? Pistol claims that he plays with him when Pete's not around and this causes Pete to recoil in sulking as Pistol clarifies that it's when he's too busy. Pete pets the gopher claiming that he's cute for a nasty, buck-toothed, root-chewing rodent. Oh; and Ed Whalen? Go away...AGAIN! The gopher kisses Pete, Pete spits like a maniac because he might get rabies or something. Pistol giggles at his expense as he places gopher back to the tea table on a seat opposite as Pete sits down with him. Pistol leaps into Pete's lap and Pete wants some tea before earthworm breath eats all the mixed nuts. Oh come on, Pete; you're giving yourself so little credit for being an asshole who thinks he's being generous and kind. Pistol and Pete drink out of nowhere cups of tea and that is that. Scene change to a hill BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Goofy and Pete are sitting on top of a hill exchanging notes on the situation. Goofy wants Pete to tell them that he's dying; but Pete refuses due to the sloppy goodbyes. Pete of course cannot say destiny right and calls it density as he wants to seek it now that he is going to die anyway. Goofy of course is surprised by this as Pete relates a story when he was a little spud; where he wanted to be a Hollywood stuntman. Wait; I thought being a cartoon character was an automatic job of being one? Anyhow; he claims he was too scared...ERRR..I mean, too smart to do it; but with only his life to lose now, it's his chance to get spiffy with the time he has left. So Goofy embraces Pete and tells him good luck and proclaims that things will get better as a seagull flies in and poops on Pete off-screen of course, so even the birds think this is...you guessed it. Goofy gives Pete a hanky, telling him to wear a hat as Pete wipes off the poop on-screen (poop we do not see) and that ends the segment 17 and a quarter minutes in. Geez; this was all right, but damn this is so stupid.
After the commercial break; we head to the front door of Goofy's house as Peg knocks on the door yelling for Goofy because she wants to speak with him. Goofy opens the door as he's preparing pancake batter (I think) and greets Peg. Peg blows off Goofy like a jerk and demands answers about what Pete is doing right now. Oh; and everyone's here, including the doctor. Wait; Peg shows a note and is saying density?! Can someone please explain why they are saying that instead of destiny? Kit and Baloo said "destiny" without any problems; so is this a BS&P decision or is everyone acting like morons in the writing department. Doctor just wants Pete to pay the hospital bill as Goofy pours batter on his head claiming that Pete was disappointed that you couldn't save him from that terminal chest gopher stuff. Peg teases with the Gruffi pose that she knows what's going on; and then shakes the doctor demanding answers to this outage. The doctor claims that he was joking and Pete didn't find it funny. The doctor is living proof of that comedy rule to never assume that it's funny as Goofy is surprised that this was a joke. Personally; "Never assume it's funny." isn't the first rule of comedy. It should be "Never assume it's a good idea." Hey, it makes just as much sense and it doesn't make people counter you so much. The doctor asks who is stupid enough to believe in something as silly as terminal chest gopher. Ummm; Mike Adams, I persume? Doctor gets pancake batter on nose and he hates it. Well; take your medicine and like it because Peg is justified in giving this doctor the treatment Rebecca gave on Jack Cases in A Spy In The Ointment. Max sums up the stupidity of this episode in one promo as Peg still wants answers and Goofy drags Peg to the car because she's going to know about it. Everyone except the doctor follows; because he wants to get paid. Hey doc; you forfeited the payment for his medicial malpractice in this one. Gopher kisses doctor on the lips and bails. HA! That doctor should only be so lucky. Doctor is panicking as he needs an ambulence because he was kissed by a gopher. Why isn't this piece of quackery getting his license revoked right now?! I thought Doctor Von Swine was the worst doctor in DTVA?! So we drive through the country side in Goofy's jeep as Peg asks where they are going and Goofy proclaims that it's to save him from his density. Will you all stop saying that?!
So we head through into the desert as the exact same crew from Hot Air has returned to film Pete in what appears to be a similar bodysuit to Chargeman Ken; only fatter. Pete is wearing a helmet of course as the director is yelling through his megaphone for attention as Pete is having second thoughts. The catnose direction is slobbering all over him and telling him to relax because he's a stuntperson now. The director stands on Pete's head and tells him to leave the thinking to the director and only to think about him being famous when his commercial hits the big time. Pete likes this as the director claims that he'll be a national treasure like Mount Rushmore. Nah; more like Mount Moreslush. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Oh; and the director is the only one who says "destiny" correct; so everyone including Peg looks like an idiot. Goofy I can understand; but Peg? And Pete says it right, too. What a stupid joke that was?! Pete climbs up a wooden tower aiming for Mount Rushmore as there is a giant upwards plunger on top of the wooden tower. Cut to the dog cameraman (Rob Paulsen) telling the director that he never thought that the director would find anyone to do this crap. So in comes Goofy's jeep as Goofy asks Peg why Pete would pick to do the stunt here and Peg states that it's the only one that is so silly. Of course! Jump cut to Pete in the giant plunger stammering like an idiot, because this is way beyond idiotic. Director is calling the shot as he tells the machine to wind him down and tells Pete that they will be ready whenever he's ready. Pete stutters saying that he will. Jump cut to the road as Goofy's jeep drives towards the hard camera as Peg is whining about time. Which is pointless because we jump cut to the cameraman saying that Pete is not going to say "go" no matter how long they wait. Pete is scared as the plunger is in position as the director concedes that he's not as dumb as he looks. In comes Goofy's jeep for the save exactly twenty minutes in. Umbrella gets busted off as the director eats Goofy's jeep dust and coughs violently. The director demands answers to this outage as the jeep stops and the babyfaces pop up from the sun roof. Goofy pleads Pete not to do it. Please, Pete; do it! The world will not think less of you...(Since they aren't thinking about you, anyway.) The director thinks that's the signal to "go"; even though it was supposed to be PETE saying that like a total idiot. Yip; director yells action of course.
Pete is flung into the air and where he lands, does anyone care? Babyfaces get out of the jeep as PJ and Max do not like him coming down despite Pistol wanting Pete to come down. The director tells them to relax as they bring in an out of nowhere wooden platform containing a giant ass nut bran muffin, because you see; they are filming a commercial for Pillbox and are demonstrating the air softness of their line of bran muffins. Pete comes down and bounces off the muffin like a giant ass trampoline back into the air. Pete's screaming is awesome in a good way, I might add. Goofy proclaims that he has news for Pete as he bounces off the muffin again. Goofy tells him that the bad news is; Pete has to pay the doctor. Pete asks what the good news is and Goofy tells him that he is going to live which surprises Pete. Peg does the Gruffi pose and proclaims that he'll live until he gets home. Yeah; because you just have to threaten doghouse violence on him at some point. Anyhow; the gopher has somehow rushed into this scene and one of the nuts in the muffin is the hot air release valve as he pulls it letting out the hot air. Pete asks if he's sure of this and Goofy says it's positive. Pete channels me in basically saying "Yeah; I'll bet!" and free fall and crashes into the cart off-screen and rips his stunt suit. I think since it was off-screen and we faded to black again. Pete's screaming is still off the charts great here. Oh and apparently; a cat screamed in this scene, too. We return to Pete's house as Pete is like a mummy now on the chair as Peg is featherdusting him; reminding him to never keep secrets from her ever again. She calls him a mummy dummy. HAHA! Peg tells him to sit there and have his mixed nuts while she bails to fix dinner. Pete tries to get to the bowl; but he's so stiff that he cannot reach the bowl. So the gopher steals the bowl and bails with it as Pete protests like an idiot and gets up; and falls down yelling for help as he destroys the lamp and coffee table; while turning into a makeshift one. HAHA! The gopher returns and sits on the table eating the nuts while Pete protests this outrage. HAHA! Pistol joins in for fun and my amusement as Pete threatens to kill the little rat fink if it's the last thing he ever did. Yeah; I'll bet. Pete swears under his breath as we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:18. Well; this was better than Inspector Goofy, but I can see why people hate the misunderstanding plot device a lot, especially since it requires the professionals to be stupid as well. ** 1/4 (45%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Okay; imagine Bearly Alive where it took six minutes just to start the actual plot. Imagine a Bearly Alive where the doctors are beyond the pale stupid and act like assholes. Imagine a Bearly Alive where the getting along spots took almost the entire second act and was just there with some good moments. Imagine a Bearly Alive where the destiny request starts in the third act, rather than near the end of the first. Imagine a Bearly Alive with no epic subplot of Howard Huge taking away airplanes and it was basically Pete being a stuntman. That's this episode in a nutshell. There were some funny moments in this; but I just couldn't get into this without realizing how stupid the misunderstanding was and Pete is much smarter than this to fall for this and think the doctor was serious about him being dead. Goofy is understandable, because he's Goofy and cannot see a joke coming a mile away like we can. Wang Films was fine for the most part; and the ending was cute, but otherwise, it was a below average episode based on a plot device that most people don't like in the best of episodes of it's ilk. Like Bearly Alive; which at least had problems due to certain areas of booking that were extremely dumb (See; henchmen leaving the scene and never coming back at all). Oh; and to think, there's more stupid Pete plots yet to come, so get used to it. So...
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.