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All The Goof That's Fit To Print
Reviewed: 02/19/2017
And All The Jerk That's Fit To Sell.
So we are slowly walking to the end of the first volume of Goof Troop as Pete is being scummy again to drum up business for his lot; by generating fake news. Problem is; he's using Max a reporter. This cannot end well for Pete. So, how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Steve Cuden and story edited by Carter Crocker. The animation was provided by Sunwoo Animation.
We begin this one with a really awkward shot of Pete's house as we have an episode title made from blurry newsprint. Zoom out to show Max and PJ raking leaves and mowing the lawn in that order as PJ is wearing a grey shirt and blue pants. He's also using a hand mower just to make Pete look like a bigger asshole. PJ whines about working as Max proclaims that whoever said that youth's wasted on the young was living in a condo. Max grabs the sack and then we see Pete's stuffed black car back up into the driveway; and the camera was clearly let on for three seconds too long because it goes directly into the hard camera; and it might as well have been a freeze frame. Out comes Pete and Goofy as Goofy greets Pete and thanks him for allowing Max to pick up some extra money which Pete agrees because a boy's never too young to learn the honest value of an honest dollar. I can hear Kit snickering in the background as I speak. Pete claims to be an enlightened employer; which is prima facile evidence that being a business person is having a degree of scoiopathism. Goofy gets in his jeep and leaves; as Pete claims that he's easing them into the harsh realities of the world; and then yells at the kids when they are out of earshot because they are sleeping on the job. Of course! Max and PJ unload the boxes from the back of the car as PJ asks what Pete has and Pete claims that they are strategic advertising appliances. They are actually buttons containing images of Pete looking like a crappy carnival barker; which is in part due to Sunwoo's artwork skills. Or lack thereof. Pete cuts a promo where if he screws up the deal; he'll eat raw meat. In which Max doesn't look impressed. I would believe Pete would eat raw meat; it's not like I would ever do such a thing. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Max gets buttoned on the head for fun by Pete and then Pete slaps buttons onto his car as Pete tells us the wonderful world of advertising. Pete buttons everyone on the property; including the house explaining that you need to stretch the truth a little to get people to believe you. Well; he did say "truth" here; so stretching it might be beneficial. Problem is; Pete lies a lot and he's stretching big fat lies way beyond 11 just to sell a product. Pete then yells at them to clean the driveway with small toothbrushes before slamming the door inside the house; just to be a dick of course. Max and PJ shrug their shoulders and that is that.
Scene change to Pete in the living room sitting at his chair being lazy. Did I mention that he buttoned the inside the house? In comes a badly drawn Max and PJ looking tired; and then they are drawn better on the closeup shot. Max pushes PJ because he wants Pete to ask him. Ask him what? This does not sound like a good idea, Max. PJ stammers as Pete slowly wakes up; making sure to praise the stickers. Geez; those are the thickest stickers I have ever seen. Anyhow; PJ would like to get paid and Pete agrees with him. So he gives the two kids twenty-five cents a piece for twelve hours work. Geez; I can see it now: Donald Trump issues executive order to lower the minimum wage to twenty-five cents for twelve hours. Max is protesting this outrage. Yeah; it should be fifty cents for twelve hours work. One quarter every six hours. I mean; arcade machine cost fifty cents per play you know. And to think; Kit got one dollar for thirty minutes work when he was Dan Dawson's partner in Stormy Weather. Sure; Dan Dawson is much, much more of a scummy monster heel than Pete will ever be, but at least Pete should pay them two bucks for twelve hours work. Pete agrees that this is balderdash and replaces the quarters with...nickels because they look oh so similar. What an asshole Pete Pete is?! Max thought he was getting minimum wage (which would be $4.25 an hour; so they each get fifty-one dollars.) and Pete says it doesn't get more minimum than that. So, Spoonerville has banned the penny already?! Geez; even Canada wasn't that quick on the draw on that issue! Max claims that he wishes he joined a union as Pete blows them off for being pampered like rich people. Pete backs them up and yells at them claiming that he walked five miles in deep snow just to get to a coal mine. That is balderdash everyone! That's insane. It was more like he walked half a mile in no snow just to get to school. I'm certain you won on the level one difficulty rather than the level 99.99 that he is claiming here. Key in the lie: He claims that there are 12 days in a week. Max and PJ do a funny roll spot as this is going on as Pete continues to claim that he got no days off; not even Arbor Day. Ummm; everyone usually works on Arbor Day; so there's another lie. Pete backs them up to the door and proclaims that it's time for these Rockafellers to bare witness to a real job. PJ and Max are shaking and chattering with Hanna Barbera sound effects. Now you know you are watching a classic!
Scene change to Pete's scummy car lot in the morning at exactly four minutes in. Jump cut to PJ and Max working on a car as Max complains about child labor laws in this country. Yes; but Spoonerville is a ass backwards redneck town whom as the most silliest laws in the world. See Inspector Goofy for all the rotton details. Pete comes in and slaps Max's back as he opens the fuel tank and gas sprays right in Max's face; and then Pete taunts him like a scummy monster heel. Wow; even Dan Dawson treated Kit better than this. Pete claims that it's a taste of the real working world and it's living proof that there is no such thing as an honest job. PJ gets smacked in the ass with a rolled up newspaper causing the air hose to go wild, tying up Max's ankles, giving PJ's teeth an air brushing and other various dumb stuff. PJ pulls on the airhose and Max bonks into PJ as we jump cut to Pete in his office sniffing a newspaper. So we see in the background out the window as Max and PJ fight with the airhose. Pete flips through the newspaper because he bought newspaper ad space and figured it was on page one. He flips through and finds nothing...AND THE ROCK SAYS NOTHING in there that represents his ad. Yes folks; even the newspapers don't want Pete's blood money. Pete literally has to use a magnifying glass to discover his carnival barker ad and he's outraged because it's a wart, not an ad. So yes; the newspaper gave the ad all the attention it deserved. Pete blows off the newspaper, accusing them of being bigger crooks than him. Ah; Pete is now dealing in alternative facts in this show. Remember this is in 1992 and few has access to the internet. Pete storms outside and throws the newspaper down because he would never pull a stunt like that if he owed the newspaper. Ah; but he would have no problem trying to put Elliot's Auto out of business in Inspector Goofy; so Pete is lying again. Pete causally leans against the air pump machine and ponders over owning his own newspaper and then pushes the red button. This causes Max and PJ to fall like a comet off-screen into the pavement. That had to suck; both are hating life even more than usual. Pete asks Max and PJ what their English grades are and Max claims it's a B+; while PJ is rubbing him head stammering and not sure about that and claims that it started with an F. From the guy who got an A in math in Axed By Addition. Pete ponders it over and allows PJ to do the editorial section.
So Pete explains to the kids that he's starting his own newspaper because reasons! One involves being scummy as he offers PJ and Max to become his star reporters. Pete chuckles as we scene change to inside Goofy's house as Goofy is changing light bulbs in his ceiling light fixture. Of course the ladder is in the perfect position for Pete to open the door and bonk the ladder Goofy was on as Pete poisons the well claiming that Max and PJ are turning into lazy, lifeless slugs. Maybe they are because you are robbing them of their childhood. I can understand ruining my childhood because I'm almost forty now and thus I'm not supposed to be a child anymore, but come on! Goofy swings on the light fixture and is slicing the ceiling in half doing it as Pete sits down on the sofa in front of the fake fruit salad bowl talking about the kids learning a trade as Goofy goes head first into the wall. Pete unpeels a banana because he wants to really swallow the point home. Goofy is about to respond; but notices some out of nowhere termite damage somewhere as Pete wants to fertilize American know-how in the kids before the country goes bottom up. What a really horrible choice of words there, Pete?! Goofy is trying to pop his head out of the wall and agrees with him; but wasn't sure about it. Goofy pops and flies stage left with the redneck scream to amuse me as he takes another wall breaking bump into the wall. Then Goofy falls down and breaks a table and tips over the conveniently placed grandfather's clock. Because smashing things is funny. At least it's Goofy's own property and he's just being an idiot (and not doing it out of malice). I can fully accept that as a spot. Oh; and would you be shocked if the clock MURDERED Goofy on the head as well? Somehow; this causes Goofy to go through the floor and find his knitting needles. Pete comes over and pulls Goofy up by his shirt; informing him of starting a newspaper for himself. He's making the kids reporters. Because you see; Pete is practicing the not fine art of lying by omission. Also I notice that Goofy has knitting needles up his ass as well. Goofy plucks the needles out of his ass as Pete tells him the nation is at stake. Geez; I shudder, only for a much different reason. I should point out that Pete pronounces United States as "untied states". And to think; we have Pete Pete running the country now, under the guise of Donald Trump. Only Pete has gotten A LOT WORSE since 1992. Oh; and just to make Pete look even worse; Goofy can pronounce United States properly. Yes; GOOFY! Pete proclaims that there is one minor detail before they can get started and that is that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH.
Pete of course does the rapid fire sell to make the verbal contract go his way 75/25 instead of 80/20 like he usually does and Goofy has to accept because he's a stupid idiot and we have to advance the plot. Somehow. Goofy then stands up to Pete; and causes Pete to be scared with teeth chatter. Goofy proclaims that Pete is NOT going to pull a fast one on him; which means Pete gets it 80/20. Of course! Because Goofy doesn't like money all that much, I guess. Or he's a stupid idiot. Either way; it's 80/20. Goofy has an out of nowhere coin depenser in his belt and plucks coins from it. I don't get that sight gag, so don't ask me. Scene change to a zoom in shot of Goofy's house outside as we jump cut to a closet as Goofy is throwing out stuff like a long lost Wuzzle while PJ and Max look on. Goofy claims that he dreamed of being a reporter himself. Goofy brings out a box and blows dusts into the kids' face as he points out that he could have been one, if he mastered the English language. HAHA! Goofy walks out of the closet with the box as the kids are clearing the dust while Goofy sets the box on the table. Goofy opens the box to reveal "genuine authentic imitation artificial reporter outfits"; complete with moths flying out of the box to boot. Goofy claims that he kept them in mothballs all these years as he does the wacky dressing up whirlwind spot of doom. Goofy pardons his French; and I say "non". Goofy goes into melodramatics about reminding him of his own youth as Max likes this and wants to be rich before supper. PJ and Max try to leave; but Goofy cuts them off because there is a lot of things about reporting that tells you not to count your chickens with a hatchet. Okay; I can believe that at least. Goofy goes to the bookshelves and grabs his old reporting book. Can you smell the How To Narrator coming; or do I have to spell it out for ye? Of course; the books are stuck so good, Goofy has to pop it out and cause the other books to bury him. Goofy raises his arm and Max grabs the reporters book and the kids run out of the house into the backyard. We stop running and the narrator starts talking as Max opens the book on how to be a reporter. The opening page shows a nobleman in cheese colored clothes with a purple feather hat that looks like it could send Michael Eisner out of the Phantom Zone anyday now. Max turns the page to an adult version of Max in a trenchcoat with an orange tie and cowboy hat in front of a poorly drawn white limo holding a poorly drawn dollar bill. The narrator cuts a promo about how great the journalist is and even claims that a certified hack can pull a good six figure income. Somehow; I doubt Max and PJ are certified hacks. Hacks, yes. Certified, no.
PJ doesn't know where to start as the narrator continues his spiel as chapter one is finding a subject in which to report. In comes Chainsaw with a bone in his mouth. Max calls bingo on this. Personally; this is not a bad thing when you get started in this gig; because you need to do a test subject in order to finely tune your craft. So Chainsaw is as good as any right now as Chainsaw is burying a bone in the ground as Max and PJ watch on behind a tree. Why bother when Chainsaw doesn't care is another matter; but the narrator continues explaining the role of the reporter. Max writes down stuff on a notepad calling Chainsaw awesome and digging a hole that was awesome, so much so, it literally buried a thumbs up sticking PJ. Of course! Scene change to the sidewalk as Chainsaw walks on the sidewalk while PJ and Max follow him while practicing the fine art of not being seen. The narrator of course keeps ruining it by talking about journalistic ethics and responsibilites; which all boil down to: Don't get caught. So this leads to a sequence of Waffles hiding behind the bushes and attacking a post officer and chasing him down the street. It looks like some classic Disney character I almost never see, but I have no idea who he is. Max and PJ write down on notepads; calling it awesome. It sure is. Not. Scene change to Chainsaw in the backyard with a piece of cloth ripped from the post officer's pants as the narrator continues to ruin my buzz with his promos. It's about spelling and grammar as we repeat Kit's poem from Vowel Play. Chainsaw goes in through the doggie door of the house as Max and PJ write down on their notepads, calling this awesome. This is not awesome folks; this is dumb. Max of course thinks that this is not awesome enough; so let's try "very awesome". How about "not awesome"? It's accurate, fair and balanced. It's real news, even. Okay; I'm embellishing the whole thing here as the kids write some more on the notepads. Jump cut to Pete relaxing in his backyard near a tree; sitting down reading the newspaper on a lawn chair. Goofy slowly comes in with the most green peaish printing press he could find. Pete keeps lounging while complaining about deadlines and such. Goofy is also plowing Pete's lawn it seems, too. Goofy makes it to the treehouse. Now; you would think that Goofy would not be stupid enough to try to get the copying machine inside the treehouse?! However; this is GOOFY we are talking about. Of course he's going to try to get the copying machine into the treehouse. Somehow.
Goofy lifts the machine over his head and his knees begin knocking. So Pete comes in and sticks a tack up his ass. Seriously; that is what he does. Goofy screams and breaks through the treehouse floor; which somehow manage to get the machine to pop through the hole and land on the floor without breaking the rest of the floor. Yeah. Goofy hangs onto the legs as he is chuckling at this of course. Scene change to inside the treehouse with Pete showing off his car lot ad and ordering Goofy and the kids to copy it to make it crisp, clean and big, since he wants the ad to be the main event of his newspaper. Max shows off his newspaper articles; and Pete steals them and grumbles because he don't care about that. So yes; Goofy is going to use a copying machine. Stop me if I'm repeating myself that this is not going to end well for Pete. Goofy feeds the paper as we connect a bunch of non-connecting metaphors and somehow it spits out paper and buries Pete in a tomb of newspapers. HA! Yip; Goofy does know how to use a copying machine and it still didn't end well for Pete. Spinning newspaper scene of doom as we head to the streets of Spoonerville as a black car parks next to the sidewalk. The door opens and Max and PJ are booted out of the car as Pete yells at them to sell them newspapers. Max and PJ walk on the sidewalk around town doing the paperboy sell of doom as people are actually stupid enough to buy these newspapers. And read them and sound like the most boring people you have ever met. Lots of talk of being awesome in the most boring matter possible. Then the people of Spoonerville turn on the kids and throw the newspapers at the kids asking for their money back. Geez; talk about punching down on them as Pete and Goofy come in and Pete looks at the newspaper and half of the time; the mouth flaps do not match what Pete is mumbling or saying. Goofy asks if this is awesome, and Pete blows it off as awful and putrid as he demands his money back. PJ and Max are crushed as they sulk away as Goofy points out that it's free to family members. But Goofy; he wants his free back because he wasted about a minute doing mumbling that Sunwoo screwed up. Pete gets in his car and speeds away pissed off as PJ and Max walk away from the hard camera as Goofy feels bad to end the segment twelve and a half minutes in.
After the commercial break; we head to Pete's living room as Pete is burning newspapers in the fireplace. Yes; Pete is a book burning monster, too. Pete calls the newspaper garbage and it doesn't sell his ad at all. Goofy sniffs the newspaper and calls it a lily-of-the-valley odor. Don't ask me what that is; I don't speak redneck all that well. Goofy accuses Pete of being kind of hard on Max and PJ. Kind of, Goofy? More like, "I hate you and wish you were dead" kind of hard was Pete Pete. Pete blows Goofy off for this as Goofy then starts to talk about the kids being too young to do certain stuff and Pete asks him to repeat it. Then Goofy talks like Mister T on those Saturday Night Live sketches where he would say "Stay in drugs and don't do milk". Seriously; that is what Goofy sounds like in this promo as Pete grabs him, calling him a genius. Geez; making fun of Mister T's speech impedient sure paid off for SNL; so why not Goofy? Pete drags Goofy out of the house and closes the door. Cut to outside Goofy's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as there is a green truck with a wooden back on it parked in the driveway. We head into the basement with a bunch of computers, water cooler and a mainframe-equse printing machine. Pete is demonstrating the best computer money can buy. Sadly; it's not enough to buy a clue that this idea is not working at all when your star reporters are TERRIBLE at finding something remotely newsworthy. Goofy pushes a button on the mainframe and gets the electric shock whip of pain complete with Dalek x-ray laser effects. This causes the entire place to explode of course, destroying everything. Yawn; whatever. Pete is surprisely reserved and holds out his hand as Goofy gives him more grey ash money because we have to buy new equipment. To be fair; this was Goofy's fault, so I'll give Pete the benefit of the doubt in this one. Scene change to inside Pete's office as Pete has his feet on the desk sitting down. In comes Max and PJ in their reporter outfits as they are going to do an interview. Okay; I was sulking at the guy who hates my reporting. Why not just quit and have Goofy do the interview? Pete hopes it's not too tough and chuckles as Max has a few questions for Mr. P; which Pete likes as he gets flashed because he wanted his good side and was stupid enough to turn around facing the flashing bulb like an idiot.
Pete is dizzy as PJ keeps taking picture and Max proceeds to play absolute hardball on Pete with actual hard hitting business on his cheating role in his used car business. Pete stammers for a while before finally getting that and goes over to the door as he accuses the kids of trying to dig up dirt to tug at the heartstrings of the readers. Ummm; yeah, that's how it usually works in the media business. As long as it's honest and accurate, why is this wrong? Max is standing on the desk as Pete tells him that he'll never find any muck to rake in this outfit. I beg to differ, Pete. There's lots of muck about your marriage with Peg that I still don't know yet. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Pete takes the kids and plops them outside basically telling them to make Pete awesome, or else. Geez; I think they have a better chance of doing that; in the context of being awesomely vile. He also calls them sleazy journalists; which would be a backhand compliment by the way. Pete shuts the door and we scene change to Max and PJ on the sidewalk talking about spending five years in grade school writing about clean toilets. Oh come on, Max! That would be a step up from your reporting on Chainsaw doing stupid pet tricks. CHOMP! OUCH! Ummm... PJ sums it up as Max props himself against a newspaper stand showing a newspaper named: "Gufilhfad Oeek Msit Noeysiam"; which sounds like a newspaper from Norway. There is a picture of a chicken hydra laying a giant egg as the headline is supposed to be: "Three-headed chicken gives birth to hockey team." I guess that newspaper name means "The Norweigan Inquitor". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Max gets a Krackpotkin plan as if telling the truth fails; we'll just make it up. Yeah; like fake news, even. And it's not like Pete didn't want them to make up crap as they went along either. Scene change to inside the basement with Max at the table writing up fiction with PJ watching on. Max proclaims that this will get the whole town talking. We see an image of a part hamster, part human, part rutabaga alien wearing purple overalls and part of his heat is like a volcano like green hat. He also has tusks and an orange beard; and looks thirty feet tall. PJ reads the headline as this consumes Spoonerville. Apparently; there is someone named Elvis along the missing. Well; that part is ture at least; in the context of being dead. PJ asks if they are stretching reality a little too far. Ummmmmmmm...compared to Pete, PJ?
Ummmmmmmmm...nope. Max decides to channel Pete's ad advice and PJ decides to go along with it as we head outside to an industrial size printing press that you would usually see on How It's Made. Pan west to Goofy with the world's tinest screwdriver as he ends adjusting it. The claw arm grabs Goofy and we get a sequence of Goofy getting squashed and stretched into a walking newspaper. At least Sunwoo didn't screw it up; much. Goofy's voice is also compressed along with the crick in his neck as he chuckles like an idiot. Pete brings in a box of stickers and sticks one of his carnvial barker sticks onto the printing press. Pete orders Goofy to personally stick on that sticker for the one thousand and one copies he wants to print. Max and PJ come in with the newspaper copy as Goofy puts them into the machine and starts pushing buttons. Oh; and Pete informs us that the double fudge ice cream sundaes are all on Goofy's bill as always. Pete's reason for screwing Goofy again: Because it was Goofy who got this whole thing running. Which is why Pete is going to get...IT! So the babyfaces run away into the hard camera. The rumbling of the machine causes the stickers to fall into the machine and on the final shot; the final pressing of newspapers show the sticker attached to the face of the alien Max drew. This ends the segment sixteen and a half minutes in. Wanna bet Pete never actually checks the newspapers before delivering them? Furthermore; why would Pete want Max and PJ to write anything when they have already failed him once? I just don't get any of this booking here.
After the commercial break; we head to Goofy's house outside with the newspapers in the back of the green truck parked in the driveway. So Goofy is putting the newspapers into the back and manages to bounces into the back and bury himself in newspapers. Goofy flops flat on his face on the cement and gets stepped on by Pete. Pete tells Max and PJ to not toss the newspapers until they see the whites in their eyes. Ummm; isn't that assault? Max and PJ hop into the back into the newspaper truck as Pete wants to move out. How I want Peg to say that to Pete for the longest time? POW! OUCH! Ummm... So we spend about twenty seconds or so leaving the driveway and going into the city unloading newspapers off the truck and putting them into the newspaper holders for people to buy. This all happens in complete silence, outside of the music in the background. And of course; we never see any of them throw newspapers into people's face, rendering the previous threat by Pete, pointless. We head inside Goofy's living room as Goofy is humming and going to his chair to sit down to read this stupid idiotic newspaper. But I repeat myself. Goofy chuckles at the headline about that alien and thinks that they are on the metric system. Yeah; because the imperial system is a Real Amerikkkan System (TM). Yeah; let's make it more obvious that Americans really wanted to just be England without being servitude to the English. Talk about misreading your past there, dood! Goofy looks at the photo and proclaims that Pete and the alien do look familar. Well; they both are monsters in terms of being scoiopaths; so yeah, I can totally see the resemblence here. Goofy then gets the LIGHT BULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY (Uh-oh! You are FUBAR'ed if Goofy gets that) and panics because Pete is an alien from:
Staci: Don't say it!
Bradley: Uranus!
Gregory:
Somehow; that might be accurate. Immature; but
accurate.
Staci/Bradley: Huh?!
Speaking of aliens; jump cut to Pete in his bedroom turning on the television from his bed. Where is Peg?! Considering that April Winchell is on the credits in cameo roles; this is kind of surprising. There is a Western playing in the background (check the audio; there is clear gun shooting noises in the background) as Pete wants to get some shuteye because he has customer to fleece in the morning. Then we hear screaming from Goofy and Pete is not amused, claiming that it's Doofus. Ummm; nope. Doofus Drake does not sound like that at all! In comes Goofy yelling at Pete as Pete tells him to go play on the interstate. Geez; that was a wonderful way to kill the buzz there, Pete. Goofy gets on his case because he thought they were friends. So wait; you are upset that Pete is an alien? After all the bullcrap Pete has pulled off on you throughout this series, you expect us to believe that this is what kills the friendship?! That only makes you look like a bigot who cannot understand the fine elgance of alien lif...Oh wait; it's Pete. Never mind what I said. Pete is not impressed; until Goofy shows him the newspaper and now Pete is panicky as we head outside to see Max and PJ delivering newspapers door to door for a while as we jump cut to the street complete with fake backgrounds since this is a car driving scene as Pete is driving his black car and blowing off Goofy for talking him into this stupid idea in the first place. Goofy is stammering and I would think it would be to call him out on his projection; but I'm certain it's about Pete's alien relatives. I would love to see Pete's relatives and then discover that they are much nicer and much more enlightened than he will ever be. Pete pushes Goofy out of the car and orders him to grab those papers. Goofy hangs out of the car as he grabs newspapers and we get a charming split screen of the newspapers bonking off of Pete's head, like they were made of bricks. So we get more footage of Max and PJ tossing newspapers to sidewalks as the black car arrives right in front of the Huge Highrise building. Jump cut to inside the hallway as newspapers are stolen. Scene change to the top of the Huge Highrise on a entrance look off as Goofy slowly walks over to the newspaper with the wind whipping around the area. The wind makes the newspaper go flying as Goofy makes the leap of faith and grabs the newspaper. Goofy gets WARNERED because gravity still exists in the cartoon world of course.
Even worse; Goofy couldn't fall down and take a bump off-screen on the pavement, oh no. I counted...one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine direct sick bumps on the top of Goofy's head before bouncing his head off the canopy and landing conveniently right onto Pete on his ass after Pete leaves the Huge Highrise. Scene change to the suburban streets of Spoonerville as the green truck is still driving. Okay; here's a huge logic hole: Who the hell is driving the truck?! We never see the actual truck driver and it's not like Max and PJ are driving it either. They are throwing out newspapers. I didn't realize the obvious until right now. What the hell Steve?! It's 1992; there are no driverless trucks in that era. Maybe 2017 is believable if you stretch the bounds of creditability, but WHAT?! That damn stock doberman dog is back through the doggie door bouncing a newspaper backwards and all of them are blank. I know this is Sunwoo being cheap; but whatever. That damn dog is staring a hole and growling as Pete parks the car next to the sidewalk right in front of the house where the damn dog is and out comes Goofy as Pete then speeds off. I have heard of sending lambs to slaughter; but dognoses? Geez; come on Toby, what did dognoses ever do to you? Goofy grabs the newspaper and then makes the fatal mistake of sticking his ass out on the damn dog. Oh; that's why people hate twerking, then? It makes them rabid, it all makes sense now. Okay; it doesn't. Goofy bails and we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE NEWSPAPER DOBERMAN EDITION~! Lots of anime jump cuts and grabbing newspapers galore. Anime background running ensues as I'm officially watching Chargeman Ken all over again, only better animated. Goofy gets a ghost outfit on; but BS&P cannot allow KKK references, which would have made this even more fitting in hindsight; but BS&P RULEZ; so no go of course. Ghost sheet is gone and Goofy is now in a pink dress. HAHA! That's the spirit, Goofy; show those so called manly man how much of a man child you really are! So Pete drives by and grabs Goofy; stuffing him into the black car blowing him off for shopping of course. Scene change to Pete's house as the newspapers are unloaded into a giant pile in front of Pete's garage as Goofy lies on them saying that's all one thousand of them. Pete isn't so sure because there were supposed to be one thousand and one copies printed, wasn't there?
Pete is not exactly thrilled, but decides one paper will not do harm. Yeah; I mean, who would be stupid enough to believe that Pete's an alien anyway? In comes Max and PJ noticing the pile of newspapers in front of the garage as Pete is seething at the kids and wants to do "the talk". Oh noes; not "the talk"! ANYTHING ABOUT THAT! (Kit: I wondered when you were going to revisit the Agony Booth, Mr. Weagle?!) The thing is; it really wasn't anyone's fault and it was a case of stuff happens when the stickers unintentionally fell into the printing press. If anything; if you want to blame someone, Pete was the one who put the box on the printing press in the first place. So Pete fell on his own sword, you see. Thing is; it's NEVER Pete's fault and it's always a conspiracy by the Goofs to get them. And Max is RIGHT THERE waiting to be targeted by Pete's wrath. He wants to talk about journalistic ethics...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, Pete. Sadly; what's not funny is that he's going to admistrator some whipping some hides (tanning as they say); which is assault on a child. However; Pete yawns and proclaims that he'll do it two weeks later. Yeah; sure. PJ groans about this as Max agrees with him on the phony story...because television is the wave of the future of fake news. Oh man; this show has make a bunch of kids into fanfiction writers in the news. I hope you are proud of yourself there, DTVA! PJ is horrified because Max is in inspiration mode and pleads for him not to do this to him. I see he hasn't forgotten about Close Encounters Of The Mime Kind either. Heh. Max runs off as PJ follows while Goofy is sleeping on the pile. Scene change to Pete in bed in the bedroom yawning. So he turns on the television set on a stand on the side where Peg sleeps; which I'm sure she's so thrilled to see. Not. We get some upbeat dramatic music on the television as a woman reporter on the television informing us that the top story of the day as a sordid and shocking scandal has hit Spoonerville. The scandal: Pete is an alien who is consuming Spoonerville. Yes folks; this reporter is the one who bought the newspaper they didn't recall. Geez; that is so awfully convenient of this show, isn't it? Pete wakes up as we see that she's Danielle Wrathmaker only in a red suit this time at the desk showing off the same image from the newspaper. Oh; and Alien Pete sells used cars too. Cue Pete screaming as we zoom out into space to end the episode at 21:13. This was a mess of logic breaks; but otherwise fun enough. ** 3/4 (55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this is becoming a broken record for this series as we get another barely above average episode with some really stupid logic breaks (Who was driving the truck? Why would Pete let Max and PJ write stories when they screwed it up so badly the first time?) and some of the usual Sunwoo botchery. The idea of this was fun enough to enjoy; but we have seen better episodes in Ducktales and even in this series than this. It's just another typical greedy Pete scheme with Goofy doing his usual smooth bumping for a million guys and using kids as tools to pull off a scheme that fails because stuff happens with the stickers. That's all I have to say about it and this will be the shortest Review Line in a long ass time. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.