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To Heir Is Human
Reviewed: 02/20/2017
To Err Is Pete Faking.
Well; we finally are at the end of disc three of Goof Troop (I still have Leader Of The Pack to do to finish the volume) as Pete is scheming...AGAIN! This time, he fakes illness in order to make PJ dot the job Pete's doing. Yeah; because nothing can go wrong with a child selling cars now, can't it? You know, I'm starting to get tired of Pete scheming in nearly every episode of this. I swear that I'm watching TaleSpin when it gets Flanderized or something. So how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Marion Wells and story edited by Karl Geurs. The animation was provided by Sunwoo Animation.
We begin this one with a black screen, a blue title card and a ticking clock. Jump cut to a classroom door and on top is a clock ticking away. Jump cut to Max and PJ looking at the clock as they blink their eyes as the clock ticks; which is a nice attention to detail spot there by Sunwoo. By the way; four minutes equals nineteen seconds in this world as the bell rings and only PJ and Max run out yelling summer vacation. So wait; if they are the only ones who went to school, then what happened to the other students? Were they in school for the last day and they were the only ones? Or were they in detention and this was their last day? Oh wait; it's the last day as they get run over in a stampede of students. Yawn. So the kids smile at each other and we scene change to Max and PJ on skateboards wearing helmets and knee pads, skateboarding on the sidewalk. Max basically wants to play video games until his fingers won't flex. Segata Sanshiro would be proud of this boy; yessire! PJ wants to watch movies until his eyes bug out. No; I do not want to see that movie or movies as we get all the trappings that is summer vacation as it's three months of freedom. So we head inside Pete's gas shop as Pete is at the cashier's counter plugging in numbers in the cash register and whining as Goofy is standing at the front of the line looking confused along with another customer wearing a green shirt with blue pants. Pete is whining about not getting fun and thrills. I just love how he complains and whines about working when his car lot is SELF-OWNED! I mean; he could have an actual lunch break since he sets the hours in the first place! Oh; and maybe if he wants more customers, his prices shouldn't be fifty bucks for a....You get the picture here. Goofy takes off his shoe and still has black feet as the total is $377 after all this, because Pete's job is killing him. Just him? What a jerk Pete is? Goofy claims that he only has $2.50 and Pete takes the money and Goofy is giddy for getting a discount. Goofy proclaims that Pete was short-changed in life and Goofy still got a break. Yeah; even an asshole like Pete is giving his enemy a break. What an idiot?! More whining and complaining from Pete as he grabs the green shirt guy by the ankles and shakes him down for money. Pete continues to complain and then throws the guy behind him because Petey's got a plan! Pete rubs his hands with glee as he wants someone to mind the store for him. I don't see why this is a heel move though.
Jump cut to in front of the arcade as PJ and Max get off their skateboard as they are going to play video games in the arcade, watch movies in the theater and then a couple rounds of Goony Golf all in one day. Geez; take it easy. You have three months of summer off. Why not play video games today, then watch a movie tomorrow and then play Goony Golf the day after, and just play each one of them longer. Then rotate every three days; unless you want to do something else for fun. Why not read comics until 2 pm and then swim until nightfall. Then go fishing. Somehow; Pete is yelling for PJ far away and we can still somehow hear him as we see Pete waving on top of the office of his used car lot. Max groans as PJ insists that everything is fine and he'll be back in fifteen minutes and he promises. I hope Max doesn't see him again until 18:12 of the DVD; because then I can laugh at Marion Wells for breaking the fourth wall and thinking that this would get over. PJ takes off his helmet and we scene change to inside Pete's office as PJ walks into the lot and Pete is in the office spying on him. Why would you bother? Pete sits in a rolling chair wearing a white fuzzy coat and does the worst faking of sickness I have ever seen. It sounds like he's a really bad chain smoker. Pete comes in and of course he buys something is wrong as Pete keeps denying that he's sick, which is funny because he's not sick. Even in faking sickness, he acts like a toxic manly man. The one time where going against his toxic code in order to get what he wants was in his best interest, and he still cannot do it. Pete's long gone now in beyond saving. Pete flops to the floor and then he bounces right into the bench. Wow; he would make a great pro wrestler, natch. He can sell well, that's for sure. PJ accuses Pete of conning him as Pete grabs up and goes into wacky melodramatics as he claims to have suffered from palpitations of the alter ego. Palpitations is a noticeably rapid, strong, or irregular heartbeat due to agitation, exertion, or illness by the way. The rest is pure fabrication as PJ wants to know and Pete tells him that he doesn't want to know. Pete puts on fake giant human ears on and then shakes them off claiming that the ear lobes start flaking off. PJ grabs the fake ears and of course he panics, wanting to call a doctor. Geez; PJ you are such a moron since you did the exact same thing to Pete in Axed By Addition!
Pete sobs because the doctor have never heard of this "condition". Yes they have; it's calling "faking". Your son did the exact same thing in Axed By Addition for goodness sakes! Worse; guess who also wrote Axed By Addition? The same writer who wrote THIS episode! With the same story editor, even! PJ shouldn't be falling for this because HE'S the one who pulled off this stunt on PETE! Pete kinds a photo of Peg, Pistol and Chainsaw and kisses it, telling PJ not to worry about him. PJ is given the photo and tells PJ to take care of the females as he sobs on the fridge. God; this is so weak and pathetic, and Pete is faking it to boot! PJ is not liking this prospect as Pete tells PJ to wear the pants in the family and take over the used car lot to bring home the bacon. Pete opens the blinds of a window to show the lot as PJ gasps because PJ cannot even drive yet. Pete proclaims that he doesn't want Peg to scrub floors and Pistol to peddle pencils, and Chainsaw to pull sleds in Canada. Wait; that last one sounds good, in the sense that Chainsaw isn't ruining the backyard with his burying of international objects on a regular basis. PJ screams no and hops like a maniac as he asks Pete want he wants himself to do. Pete drags PJ out of the office proclaiming that he will be teaching PJ how to sell cars and generally be a scrooge ass; and be ready to do so by tomorrow morning. PJ leaves the office as Pete is acting all evil again. Scene change to Max outside the arcade and I swear the arcade is totally different from the one we saw earlier in the episode. There is a payphone and a bicycle at the place, too. Max is sulking at the front door; doing Gruffi poses and checking his watch. So the payphone is there and it rings. How PJ was able to figure out the payphone number where Max was is a mystery to me since PJ never checked the payphone there in the first place. Max answers the phone and PJ informs him that he's counting Pete's lung nuts as Max is not amused by this and wants to meet him at the movie theater. Then the phone line goes dead as Max is cutting a promo. Jump cut to Pete and PJ hiding behind a car at Pete's car lot. PJ is now wearing Pete's clothes only a junior version of it. That to me is child cruelty. They watch an old lady with a green umbrella and purple dress kick the wheels of a grey lemon car that might as well be on the scrap heap.
Pete claims that catching a sucker is like hooking a fish and you just need the right bait. And then you switch it up! Get it?! Bait and switch...POW! OUCH! Ummmm... The old lady's purse looks like a really awkward looking purple brick by the way as Pete comes in doing the sweet talk routine on the light car, the car of the future. More like the car of the past. Say, back when Herny Ford was building his first car. The old woman is impressed as Pete goes over to PJ and tells her to reel it in. PJ awkwardly walks in; which tells him that Pete bought PJ's clothes and forgot to make sure they were big enough to fit him as PJ bonks into the car and that opens the hood. Surprisely; that didn't break the car into a million pieces. Oh; and there is no engine in the car as it's light on the pocket book because there is no engine to repair. The woman is swing her umbrella at Pete for this outrage as Pete grabs her and walks her to the next car, telling off PJ to get this eyes checked. Pete cuts a promo about a super see-through windshield. We see an old car that looks like something from the 1920's with no windshield at all. Pete somehow still wipes the no windshield and the old lady doesn't even notice; but only does when PJ is given the cloth and goes through the windshield into the front seat of the car while cutting a promo about flow throughing; and such as that. Finally the old woman gets it and bashes Pete in the head with the umbrella off-screen and storms off fuming. By the way; PJ is wearing a blue tie for no reason as PJ admits that he's no good at this. Pete assures him that his bad habit is that he tells the truth. Pete gives PJ a blue book and tells PJ that it's Pete's Golden Rules Of Car Sales; which the cover contains a star and Pete's head; just to show off his ego. PJ is not happy about this because he wants Pete to stick around longer; but Pete starts to back up and cough. Pete continues his fake sickness of tonsil-cords. Intense Stink-itis, huh? I do not think it means what Pete thinks it means. Apparently; without PJ, Peg will be mopping up mud holes, Pistol will be selling day-old socks and Chainsaw will be working as a ringmaster in a flea circus. Geez; that last one sounds like MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! Pete cries over PJ as PJ looks at the book as this is getting creepy now. So we head to Pete's house and into PJ's bedroom as PJ is reading Pete's lemon book of doom. He fumbles and stumbles over the book of course, before getting it right of course.
So as this is happening; the phone rings in PJ's room. Since when did Pete allow PJ to have a phone in the room. I guess it's for the internet on the computer in the room; but PJ answers it anyway while stumbling and fumbling over the word and Max calls him out for calling him a weenie. HAHA! Considering this series; that would be accurate. I mean; who wouldn't want Goofy as a father? After all; he makes the son look even better then he would ever be if Goofy was compentant! So we talk as PJ wants to talk to him next week and then realizes that they were going to see a movie as we jump cut to Max in a phone booth in front of the movie theater. They were supposed to see a movie two hours ago and then play Goony Golf, which Max is accusing PJ of cancelling that as well. PJ is tied up in phone cords and stammering like an idiot. Now; if I was a best friend or ally to PJ; I would ask about Pete because PJ is Pete's son and therefore, I could deduce that Pete is brainwashing PJ somehow and something is wrong. Max gives him an ultimatum: Just say that he doesn't want to hang out with Max this summer. I would dump my friend right there; because if I was PJ's best friend, I would be worried that Pete is starting something. Because the razor of this show is that Pete is scheming something and using PJ as his pawn! This happens in a lot of the episodes and even MAX has been a part of those schemes. I would not be saying "If you don't want to hang out with me, just say so." I would be saying: "Is Pete trying to mess up our summer again?!"; because that would be accurate. I would not be blaming the victim here as there is more stammering from PJ and he calls Gooney Golf, Golf Gooney which Max corrects. What a jerk?! He only got the words in the wrong order, it's not like PJ called it Gooey Golf or Golf Gooey or something like that. Why are they friends, again?! Max hangs up as PJ is on his ass on the floor horrifed of losing his dad and his best friend. Yes; PJ is so stupid that he clearly cannot tell his dad is faking all this. This is why you teach criticial thinking skills and non-verbal cue skills as a child before their brains start to gain evil influences like Pete. Scene change to the garage with Chainsaw in a corner, snoring.
Pete walks to a conveniently placed mirror humming; wearing a dumb fish hook hat and notices Chainsaw snoring; and gets all evil. We get another sequence of Pete fishing with steak bait to wake up Chainsaw. Chainsaw bites the steak, Pete laughs and falls into his chair, Chainsaw snaps the line, Pete flies backwards crashing into a pile of boxes with a green bucket on his head and PJ runs in yelling for Pete. PJ plucks the bucket off his head and Pete goes into more "melodramatics" and the more he does, the worst the acting is. There is no way even PJ should be falling for this and yet he falls for it hook, line and sinker. He trips on a box and falls on his back on the cement. What an idiot?! He's fading fast into this lie; I wouldn't care to say I don't miss you. We repeat the joke about Peg scrubbing oil slicks, Pistol selling empty toothpaste tubes and Chainsaw working as a herd dog on a bee farm. Yes folks; Pete is sexist because the dog is getting all the good jobs in these promos he is cutting. Chainsaw licks it's chops and walks off not giving a damn. Yes folks; Chainsaw is SMARTER than PJ. Pete finishes saying that they got you and then fakes fainting dead away. PJ is all horrified as Pete blinks on cue to sell that he's faking and we head to Gooney Golf at dusk as Max goes over to the payphone (with a golf club no less) and grabs the phone. He teases dialing and then hangs up, leaves the golf club and sighs in frustration as he walks off away from the hard camera in frustration; ending the segment nearly ten minutes in. Again; I am just not feeling this episode and nothying they do is even funny now. It's just not funny seeing PJ act like a stupid idiot if Pete isn't even bothering to make this sound remotely convincing to me. Even the target audience would have seen through this and think that Pete is the worst actor in the world, and PJ is a total idiot and shouldn't be backed up, even though he is a victim. Plus; there isn't even the grace of Goofy to save us so far.
After the commercial break; we head to a lake somewhere in Ohio as we hear a man on the radio say that it's 90 degrees outside; which is over 32 degrees Celsius. Keep in mind; Pete is fishing at the lake as hundreds of sailboats teleport onto the lake from all directions. That makes no sense. Plus; I wouldn't be out fishing at 90*F out there. More like 70*F out there. Jump cut to outside Pete's car lot with PJ on the sidewalk pacing around horrified because they have been open for a whole hour and still no customers in sight. PJ checks his watch declaring that the family will be homeless if he doesn't sell some cars quickly. PJ consults the book and reads rule number twenty: If you are not swimming in suckers? Grab them with a gimmick! Geez; the used car salesman business is like professional wrestling after all. Jump cut to Goofy and Max in the jeep driving on the road as Goofy's hat is just as abusrd, but more fitting on him than Pete's hat. Max proclaims that PJ would rather see week old garbage than him. Max, shut up! Pete Pete can hear you, you know! Goofy doesn't think it's his style to chuck a friend and senses something wrong with this picture. Then we hear PJ on a megaphone doing the hard sell; while wearing a clown outfit and being on silts on top of the office building where the car lot is. PJ's outfit is very generic; but he really ups the creep factor with the eyes and the cock megaphone tied around his mouth. PJ loses his balance on the silts and flies back right into the arms of Goofy who somehow run over to the street near the rotary. Max peels off the cock megaphone from his mouth and demands answers. So yeah; it's 10:31 on the DVD, so it was more like seven minutes flat. PJ goldbricks and looks like such a nervous wreck that he grabs Max and sobs because it's about Pete. PJ's melodramatics are much better than Pete's by the way; which is cart blanche evidence that Pete is clearly faking it. PJ even has a white spotted green hanky to blow his nose in for fun. Goofy buys it hook, line and sinker like a stupid idiot. Which is fitting because it is Goofy we are talking about here. Max has a white hanky and he stammers and his acting is even better than Pete's. Wow; I didn't think Dana Hill had it in her to pull this off. This is beyond the pale stupid and the kids should know better; but Goofy's understandable because he's a stupid idio...IT! More PJ hysterics; which are hilarious for the wrong reasons I might add. He cannot sell cars to save his ass of course.
More clownish nose blowing (but I repeat myself) as Goofy and Max offer to help PJ with getting a good publicty gimmick as Goofy refers to a car dealer once wrestling an alligator. If I find out that it's Ed's Auto; then no wonder Pete is so jealous of him. More sobbing and clown noises as PJ is so weak that he loses wrestling matches to Pistol. I'm sorry; but it's not as funny as Kit losing tickle fights to Molly. It just isn't. Goofy claims that Pete always wanted some thrills as PJ thinks it's a swell idea because his minutes are numbered anyway. Wait; are we talking about Pete or his cell phone plan here?! They hug each other and sob; as I laugh until I cried when I shouldn't. This was the funniest two minutes in the series and nothing is going to top it so let's move on to Pete leaving his bedroom with the picnic basket of yogi's (complete with steel metal handle) and a blue backpack. Jump cut to a shot of a stand with a lamp and radio; with the fishing rod and hat propped against the radio. We discover that the radio announcer is talking about stupid moments on the lake and we break for the following as it's Special Event Day at Pete's Used Cars. Pete grabs the fishing pole ready to bail; but stops. The radio announcer continues, claiming that Honest Pete...AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, sir! The radio announcer claims that Pete is going to mud-wrestle Bulldozer Bob, get shot out of an elephant trunk (because you cannot say cannon shaped like an elephant trunk because BS&P won't let you say gun anymore, am I right?), wear a body suit of balloons, anything to sell you a car, you see. Pete loves this as rule nineteen states that you promise everything and give them nothing...AND THE ROCKS MEANS NOTHING! Pete is about to go out the door; when suddenly a crew cut dogear in a brown trench coat with a badge, grey pants and brown shoes is at the door. Pete walks past the man and the man calls him out because he's here to catch him because he belongs to the Federal Department of Truth In Advertising. Geez; this has to be the most hypocritical agency the government has ever produced. Pete is packing his RV with his gear as Detective Sunday tells Pete to do the stunts as promised, or Pete's going to jail for false advertising. Because apparently; hitting him in the wallet is considered a conflict of interest, am I right? FDTIA is voiced by Frank Welker by the way in a better voice than most characters in this show.
Pete is confused by this and we scene change to Pete's Car lot as about two dozen people show up for the mud wrestling event as the entire ring is a mud pen with wooden edges and shaped like a boxing ring. We see Bulldozer Bob in a yellow singlet, black trunks and grey boots making a sphere of mud in the ring. The crowd chatter among themselves for a while. He also has a red bandana and looks like someone who could kill with their looks alone as the mud sphere smashes to bits in his hands. Wow; his hands can harden mud, too as Pete is forced into the ring, wimpering about his condition wearing a blue bodysuit with a red bodysuit overlaid that he has to physically be helped in the ring by PJ and Goofy. PJ basically tells him that if he does this; the family is set for life. Pete calls this a good point and offers Goofy to wrestle him; which would be a main event anywhere in the cartoon world. Okay; maybe not as the law agent threatens the handcuffs, because no subs are allowed. So Pete has to wrestle Bulldozer Bob, which is going to be the worst match in the history of the fictional cartoon world. Remind me to never hire this government official as a booker if he ever gets fired from his job. PJ proclaims that he's going to tell Peg and Pistol he went out in a shower of bone chips. What a disgusting thing to say PJ; even if he deserves every bit of it?! PJ tries to hug Pete; but Pete gets grabbed by Bulldozer Bob and Pete is already trying to play a weasel in this. Bob no sells and whomps him; turning him into a basketball and dribbing him all around the ring while Max claims that this will be quick...maybe pain-less. Pete gets thrown out as the crowd goes nuts and gives money to PJ for $25-50 bucks top. HAHA! Glad someone has remembered how bad those cars are. Pete's arms are rearranged as he protests this outrage as Goofy comes in and slaps a bodysuit with balloons on it. Max proclaims that he's doing great as Goofy grabs Pete and we scene change to Goofy on a wooden ladder putting Pete into the trunk of an elephant. Let me repeat that: Goofy, who weighes a third of what Pete weighs can lift Pete up on a wooden ladder and he's going to stuff him into the trunk of an actual elephant. Not a cannon disguised as an elephant, no. A real elephant. I realize that this is truth in advertising; but this is almost extreme cruelty of animals. PETA needs to stop throwing wine on fake fur and address this more serious issue, STAT! PJ claims that Pete is going to be the world's biggest human satellite as Max invokes the feather of doom on the trunk and the elephant blows his trunk into the air as Pete flies off the face of the earth as everyone cheers like this was the greatest day of their lives that Pete is gone. Goofy is the only one who feels sadness that Pete is gone. HAHA! I see a lot of Darkwing Duck hats flying around as Goofy wearing one. Darkwing Goofy?! Gosh; that might just get over. BLAM! Hee hee. Missed again, Drake! YOU ARE NOT...POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
PJ takes the money from customers for fun as Pete comes down back to earth and does the BUMP WITH CHEESE AND BACON into the pavement. That had to suck. For the pavement. Max claims that he's still alive...sadly for us. Pete is helped out as PJ claims that Pete has to swallow a squid now. Pete is not liking this at all and then proclaims that he's cured! YAY! Balloon pops and he falls flat on his face as even Goofy thinks Pete is dellusional. HA! Goofy thinks he's suffering from Reverse Brainitis. Wait; judging by that non-verbal cue, Goofy knows Pete is faking everything and was just playing along. So Goofy and Max drag him home claiming that Pete should spend his last days at home as PJ counts the money thinking that it's enough to keep them from going to the bread line; all while Pete is protesting this outrage like a good little scoiopath that he is. Now; at this point, the episode should be over because Pete got his comeupperance (albeit he should swallow the squid; I guess they didn't promise that since the law agent would have cut them off at the pass there; which he didn't) for using his son to buy a fishing trip that he could have gotten just by closing the shop for a couple of days since he OWNS the auto lot. There's one small problem; we are not even sixteen minutes in and since these are 22 minute episodes, you know what that means. It means it's time to invokes Cartoon Duck Syndrome on this episode. Yeah; because we got seven minutes of time to kill; and a minute and a half to kill for the second act alone. So we head in the kitchen with Peg baking chocolate chip cookies as PJ comes in asking if this is enough. Peg is confused as PJ looks like he's about to cry as PJ puts the money on the table as Peg wants to know what is going on here. So PJ confesses and sobs loudly that daddy is "dying" and Peg instantly deduces that Pete did this to gain a fishing trip. Peg is pissed off as Goofy and Max comes in to inform Peg that Pete's in bed, still acting like Pete is dying, which makes no sense since Goofy's non-verbal cue indicated that he might be onto Pete's doing. Bad booking there, Marion. So Peg basically yells at them saying that Pete tricked them and all of them are shocked and appalled at this despite being tricked countless times in this series already. These people are so much stupid idiots; except for Peg of course. Then the boys and Goofy sob loudly which is so pathetic that I laughed at it. Seriously, I did. Peg tells them to calm down because fishing fever is a stubborn disease where the cure must be drastic so to speak as we end the episode seventeen minutes in. Yes folks; this is basically Wrecks, Lies & Videotape all over again with the finish which is Crock Around The Clock all over again. Only Goofy is supposed to be stupid. That was a real funny middle; but this is pointless since Pete has pretty much given up the fishing trip now.
After the commercial break; we see Pete sneaking in the living room and then calls for Peg and PJ. Pete hears nothing and he's fit to the bit to get back to work; doing exercises and feeling great. Geez; even his lying exercises cannot convince me he's telling the truth, even if after almost getting killed by the elephant trunk cannon shot did in fact happen and it would make anyone want to go back to their 9-5 job. Pete asks where Peg is and we get a doorbell ringing. Pete opens in and it's Goofy, Max and PJ in scrubs and white masks. Oh wonderful; we are going to do the Crock Around The Clock finish now as they jump Pete and strap him to a gruney. Pete screams for Peg as Peg looks mad and then stops and acts like Pete is actually sick. HAHA! So they stuff him into the back of a purple van. (Copyright Alert: The Red Cross is still on the back of the van.) You know; this would have been slightly more convincing if you didn't tape up white papers with red crosses on the front and sides of the van. It's Pete's van by the way as Peg calls the clinic: Quick Cure Clinic for the Hopeless. So anyone but Bob Hope I see? Maybe Bulldozer Bob's last name is Hope. That would have been a funny gag if the wrestler was a doctor of this clinic. Sadly; I don't expect Marion to get it, but I'm disappointed if Geurs doesn't see dollar signs in this gag. So Pete is pleading for mercy as Goofy drives the van around a circular part of town while playing a casette tape inside the radio on a PJ radio promo about Pete's Used Cars, literally trying to give Pete a heart attack. I would call this gross medicial malpractice; but this is GOOFY we are talking about here. Second; since when was the two properties in the middle of a cul-de-sac? That makes no sense; and it's a stupid joke just the same. It was an excuse not to animate a driving sequence around town for a while and then simply return to Goofy's house. PJ puts a purple mask on Pete's eyes as Pete looks like he's hyperventilating now. So they open the back and wheel the gruney into the house as Pete is pleading and protesting because only his profit margin is a problem. Peg plays the Hopeless Clinical doctor as she accurately describes Pete's condition in three easy phrases. In other words; his entire personality is sick. What a shock that this?! There's is only one quick treatment for this as we scene change to Pete hanging upside down from a golden light fixture as this is the old fashioned Heebie-Jeebian blood purification treatment.
Yeah; because saying "personality transplant" is way too offensive and obvious, even for DTVA. So the doctors come in and spin him into a whirlwind spot for fun and my amusement. Peg wants to torment Pete some more as PJ plays the cassette tape of PJ cutting more promos on Pete's used cars for two dollars. OUCH! Pete is angry and proclaims that he has to stop him demanding to be let down. Geez; how fitting as the lamp fixture breaks and Pete crashes onto the wooden table; which somehow doesn't break. I AM THE TABLE~! Pete gets buggy eyed glasses on for good measure as Peg treats this as a disease. You know; this would have been a great comeupperance angle if Pete hadn't got his comeupperance about five minutes ago and was willing to go back to work and forget that PJ was working for them. Now; it's simply tormenting Pete just because Peg isn't the one giving him the comeupperance. Peg declares that this treatment failed and it's time for the East Albanian Earthworm Pack. So basically; we go into the bathroom and Pete gets thrown into a bathtub filled with mud and earthworms. I don't see anything Albanian about this; so this is quackery right from the start. Even as a "suppose to be a torture device to get back at Pete" treatment; this is quackery. Peg tells him to stop making the earthworms angry; as she really wants to make him squirm as we replay the cassette tape with PJ cutting promos with every car costing one dollar. Finally; a price that actually fits the cars Pete is selling. Who says PJ is a sleazy used carsalesman?! Pete is protesting and screaming as Peg proclaims that the patient is getting angry and it's time for the Pre-Columbian Putrid Purge. Listen; I like it when the heel gets tormented for his sins; but Pete already got his comeupperance when he had to wrestle Bulldozer Bob and be a human stattelite just to get himself out of jail time for false advertising. He has been punished enough by any reasonable standard. This is the defacto definition of torture porn. Sure; this phrase is commonly abused and used in place of "bullying"; but this is not the case here. This is torture and it's done in a pronographic matter. So we head to the living room as Pete is strapped to a gruney as Pete has a purple funnel in his mouth. Peg comes in with a pitcher of vinegar, mustard and cod liver oil. I guess the cod liver oil is the stuff that make it putrid. Needless to say; Pete if force fed this and forced to hear PJ cut promos again. Apparently; the Pre-Columbian Putrid Purge works on one in ten thousand with a kill rate of 9999. Geez; and I thought coffee emmas up the asshole was putrid. I realize that this is a torture device, but the only reason Peg is doing this, besides the fact that Peg is a sadist that even Rebecca Cunningham couldn't be, is that they need to kill five minutes of episode since the episode was pretty much resolved at the fifteen minute mark and Pete would have fired PJ anyway at the end of this. Pete is screaming for help as Peg claims that is all they can do and he'll have to go home and wait for the results.
In comes Goofy dressed up as the undertaker, so they are now adding "Balooest of The Bluebloods" to the mix. Thankfully; the kids, Goofy and Peg are far more convincing in this torture porn than Pete was in acting sick, so there's that going for this at least. He is wearing glasses and has brought an actual wooden casket. They stuff Pete in the casket as Pete is kicking and screaming to them to drive them to the car lot. Goofy claims that he's not going there, he's going to the graveyard as he puts the cover over Pete and I think Goofy blew his cover by chuckling. Go to black with heartbeats ensuing as we head outside as Goofy takes off his disguise while dragging the casket to Pete's house while Pete is screaming. Goofy is giddy because Pete is cured and hugs him. Aw! My heart melted. However; Goofy has some very bad news because his car lot went out of business. I just love how Goofy said all this without cracking; as Pete grabs him and shakes him. Goofy drops the keys and Pete throws Goofy away. Pete grabs the key and gets in Goofy's jeep and drives off to the car lot and crashes into a lamp pole in front of the lot. Pete looks out and the place looked boarded up; and looks no different than in Inspector Goofy. We then see Peg playing Cinderella on the ground washing the sidewalk while Pistol is selling hankies on the street. Both are in rags and barefoot and nearly barefoot respectfully. Oh; and then we get the greatest thing I have ever seen: Waffles is riding on Chainsaw's back at a horse. Oh great; who does Waffles think he is: Sid Sixeiro?! Pete runs into the office to see Max sitting down in swim trunks and red sandals (Goofy has black feet; but Max has white feet here for no reason) as PJ is sobbing on the desk. Max is crying with him because he did his best...At making Pete demand his pants back as PJ is happy to give them as he strips to his summer gear and the kids run out as Pete yells at them and blames PJ for giving him the kooky idea of letting a child run the place. The boys grab their fishing rods as Pete doesn't want them for thirty years and they skateboard out yelling three months of freedom. Pete is shocked and then proclaims that something doesn't add up here. So the final shot is a zoom out shot of the auto lot as Pete is calculating his life. HAHA! Circle fade out to end the episode, disc three and volume one of Goof Troop at 21:14. What a whiplash of an episode this was?! We got a boring beginning, a really funny middle and a torture porn climax with a decent ending that was booked the way it should be. I would perfer this type of episode then the average episode of Goof Troop; so call this *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow; I thought I was watching Kick Buttowski all over again. So; let's run down the three segments and their quality. The first act was fine and typical boring Goof Troop with another Pete scheme aimed at using PJ as a way to get out of work. It was not charming and it felt pretty underwelming to me because they repeat this scheme in every episode as a focus Pete episode. Pete is becoming a one gimmick character now and it's becoming frustrating to the point where I don't want to see him again. Plus; we did the fake sickness plot at least twice now, so it's a redo plotline. The second segment was great: It had the most convincing crying of all time by Goofy, Max and PJ; and Pete got his comeupperance for screwing PJ when he was forced by the law to do the stunt PJ promised to do. Pete was great in his sleazy, weasel, cowardly heel mode and I laughed at all of this. It should have ended with Pete going to PJ and firing him right there; and it would have been all over with. But no; that would have ended the episode short; so we had the third act which is basically the same climax they did with Wreck, Lies & Videotape; only they did a knockoff of the climax to Crock Around The Clock. Which is fine in itself because of the seven year rule; but this was done to kill time for the finish because Pete practically learned his lesson and was probably going to fire him in the end anyway. So we spend several minutes torturing Pete in which if it was done and Pete wasn't going to fire PJ; this might have worked; but this felt like torture porn by the defintion Mr. Enter and company have used and overused to the point of rendering the phrase to be totally meaningless. I wanted to laugh at this; but I simply couldn't. The finish and ending were exactly the way it should have been booked; so other than that, no complaints. Overall; this was a mixed episode with good stuff in the middle, boring stuff in the beginning and bad stuff at the end, basically.
So that ends almost all of Goof Troop Volume One; since I still have Leader Of The Pack left to do. The third disc count is one thumb up, five thumbs in the middle and three down. The second disc (discounting Leader Of The Pack) is two thumbs up, four in the middle and two thumbs down; for a grand total of 4 thumbs up, 6 thumbs down and 16 in the middle. Five thumbs up if you include the Christmas Special. My opinion hasn't changed much from the first go through of this series: The episodes have eleven minute plotlines stretched out to twenty two minutes and none of the new characters stand out in terms of personality. Goofy is awesome as always; but the tedious nature of the show is not helping him in any way. Pete is becoming a one joke character that it's not even funny and everyone else is fine, but I have seen better characters. The closest I have seen a character break out was Pistol; and that was because Hot Air was such a surprisely great episode that I was rooting for her to become the next Molly. Ironically; the two best episodes of the series are stories from the past where those ancestors are more over than the ones who are supposed to get over. Peg Doll is better than Peg Peg in every single way. Frank is better than Pete. Goofy's ancestor is cooler than Goofy; although both are really cool, so no worries there. Princess Pistol is better than real Pistol; but only slightly because she has had only one focused episode and it ruled. This is where the rose colored glasses do tell the truth because I don't feel like I am really being entertained here. TaleSpin felt like pure entertainment with drama and heart. It felt like the real Disney. This felt like something that could be the real Disney; but it is stretched out much farther than it's designed to me. Teddy Ruxpin had the same problem; but he really had a cool world and you can book a lot of things that wouldn't be in the storybooks the character was based on. Goofy shorts were intended to be no longer than seven to eight minutes long; so anything over eleven minutes is simply asking for trouble. The fact that they have to do episodes where we meet the characters ancestors is evidence that this is not working well; and the competition is laughing at Disney instead of being fearful for them. TaleSpin's biggest problem was creating 44 minute plotlines in 22 minutes while Goof Troop is 11 minute plotlines in 22 minutes. It's much easier to compress an episode than it is to expand it. So next weekend; I'll be finishing up the whole DVD set with Leader Of The Pack; and then it's off to working on the Goof Troop pilot episodes. Yes; they are going to do a 44 minute pilot episode in a show where anything over eleven minutes is trouble. What more can I say? So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.