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Major Goof
Reviewed: 03/18/2017
The Story Of The 2016 Presidental Election!
Here is the next episode in the "Pete Show of Schemes" as Pete is scheming on Goofy and company and making them into miltary figures on a mission with some army guy named Uncle Bob, who happens to be related to Peg. Geez; when will Pete's scheming end? Oh; and Stephen is writing here too; how lovely. So, how does this episode fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Stephen Levi and the late Bruce Talkington who also story edited. The animation was provided by Walt Disney Animation Australia PTY, Limited.
We begin this one with public domain music in the suburbs of Spoonerville as a male general's voice is yelling to charge because they got somebody on the run. Geez; is this guy after the title card color stylist who thought it was a good idea to paint the French flag on them. Geez; hating the French is so 2002, sir! Oh wait; they are after Max and PJ as they retreat. Then we get a cock crowing (And Disney Captions actually calls it that! Wow; just wow.) and objects shattering as we zoom into the backyard of Goofy's property as Waffles is sleeping on top of the trash can and then yawns. Max and PJ go all brokeback on us in the foreground, welding the most awkward looking supersoakers I have ever seen. Max claims that they will never be found as a Pete like catnose pops from the trash can with the smallest toy gun I have ever seen (wow; it's true, military men do have small dicks. Still better than being inverted like mine.); wearing a two star military helmet and green army gear. AMBUSH~!! And yes; that is what the kids say as they get sprayed with water. PJ is trying to bail stage left and having limited success as the army dood hides in the trash can again. Max grabs onto PJ to stop him because they have him where they want him. Yeah; I'll bet. Max and PJ surround the trash can with their supersoakers set to profits. Max calls the miltary mind a mystery to him; which shows how much he knows about minds in general. PJ and Max open the trash can and spray it with water; as Chainsaw jumps out of the trashcan panicking and running like a Hanna Barbera character. Max looks into the trash can and there is some trash; but no miltary man. This is an intentional logic break because Max and PJ cannot believe that this happened, because it makes no sense to them. Max and PJ gets sprayed by the army man's tiniest supersoaker in history as PJ gets stuffed in the trash can in the process. Anime pan over to the army men wearing a pink dress on a clothesline enjoying himself as he slips through the pink dress and bails stage right. Max wants more as he claims that he has not began to squirt. I think you just ended it right there, Maxie. Scene change to Pete's living room as Pete is in his chair watching television and eating popcorn.
The male announcer as it's close to the Fourth Of July (so yes; Goof Troop did USA Birthday episode! Take THAT, TaleSpin!) and you can get a super deal on a patriotic RV from Earl Yokel. Yes folks; this is the guy Pete was trying to run out of business in Inspector Goofy. Not only that; we get to see Earl Yokel in a white chicken suit walking around his car lot; which shows that Pete does have a point of calling him Yokel Earl. Earl calls Pete porky and an RV pirate. I don't call Pete ever selling RV's on his used car lot, so I call false advertising here. Pete spits popcorn on cue and is insulted by this clear case of body shaming, as Pete calls Earl a bird face. Earl hopes Pete is watching because he challenges Pete to outsell Earl "Uncle Sam" Yokel while saluting during the Fourth Of July red, white and blue tag sale. He's doing this while everyone is looking at him funny in the car lot. You know Pete's rep as a fraud and stereotype is obvious when everyone wants to buy a car from a guy dressed in a white chicken suit. Pete is disgusted and proclaims that this means war! Yeah; and this means lawsuit from Warner Brothers! You don't steal Bugs Bunny's catchphrase and get away with it! Okay; maybe you do. Pete paces around wondering what gimmick to use to outsell that loudmouth. Pete then mumbles about letting the air out of so-and-so's tires. Which ones? Oddsmakers suggest that 2:1 Goofy, 5:1 Earl, 7:1 Army Guy, 10:1 Max, 500000:1 Peg. He also uses sawed-off as a phrase here as Max and PJ run in and whirlwind Pete good. Pete turns around after some sputtering and invokes the pointy finger of death on the kids; calling them runts. PJ is hiding behind a chair and states that the army guy's name is uncle Bob and he's teaching them commando tactics. So PJ is the daddy's psycho and mommy's little solider! I would be amused; if the implications on the real world weren't so scary. Max pops up claiming that Uncle Bob is amazing and could be anywhere. Geez; Uncle Bob is one privacy lawsuit away then on his commando tactics! That's a bad sign right there. Pete calls him a blowhard and claims that he couldn't commando his big toe. Whew; that's a relief, I thought Uncle Bob was Jim Cornette for a second there. So; if you have a Wendy's in Spoonerville; you are all safe. For now anyway. By the way...
Uncle Bob is voiced by the late William Windom (passed away in 2012) and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): He was perhaps best known for his work on television, including two episodes of The Twilight Zone. He portrayed Glen Morley, a fictional congressman from Minnesota, a role based on Windom's own Republican great-grandfather and namesake in the ABC sitcom The Farmer's Daughter, co-starring Inger Stevens as his beautiful young housekeeper. Windom also achieved fame as the character of cartoonist John Monroe on the sitcom My World and Welcome to It, for which he won an Emmy Award for Best Actor in a Comedy Series; as Commodore Matt Decker, commander of the doomed USS Constellation in the Star Trek episode "The Doomsday Machine;" the character Randy Lane in the Night Gallery episode "They're Tearing Down Tim Riley's Bar;" perhaps the most common recurring character, Dr. Seth Hazlitt, on the CBS series Murder, She Wrote; as the President of the United States in the feature film Escape from the Planet of the Apes; and for voicing Puppetino in Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night. Windom was born in New York City, the son of Isobel Wells (née Peckham) and Paul Windom, an architect.[1][2] He was the great-grandson of the United States Secretary of the Treasury of the same name. He served in the United States Army in the European Theater of Operations in World War II, as a paratrooper with Company B, 1st Battalion 508th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 82nd Airborne Division.[3]Windom's first motion picture role was as Mr. Gilmer, the prosecutor of Tom Robinson in the 1962 Academy Award-winning To Kill a Mockingbird. In 1968, he starred with Frank Sinatra in The Detective, playing a homophobic killer. The role received great reviews from The New York Times. From September 1963 to April 1966, he co-starred in the television version of the previous film, The Farmer's Daughter, a series about a young Minnesota woman who becomes the housekeeper for a widowed congressman.
In the 1969–1970 NBC series My World and Welcome to It, Windom played the James Thurberesque lead and received an Emmy Award for Outstanding Continued Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Comedy Series. After the cancellation of the series, Windom toured the country for a time in a one-man Thurber show. After the run was completed, Windom filmed the pilot for a new series Is there a Doctor in the House? with Rosemary Forsyth. The pilot was written with both actors in mind for the two starring roles, and while it was well received by the critics and in viewership ratings in both its first run and a rerun in the summer of 1971, it was not picked up for a series. He was a regular for a decade on the series Murder, She Wrote with Angela Lansbury as mystery writer Jessica Fletcher. His initial appearance in the role was in October 1985. (He had previously appeared as a guest star playing another character in April 1985.) The producers enjoyed his work, and consequently invited him to return at the beginning of the second season to take on the role permanently. He briefly left the show to work on another series in 1990, but the show was short-lived and he returned to Murder, She Wrote as a semi-regular for the remainder of the run of that series.[citation needed] To fans of science fiction television, Windom was best known as the tortured Commodore of the USS Constellation Matt Decker in the Star Trek episode "The Doomsday Machine," a role he reprised nearly 40 years later for Star Trek New Voyages. He died on August 16, 2012, at the age of 88 at his home in Woodacre, California, from congestive heart failure.[1] He was survived by four of his children– Rachel, Heather, Hope and Rebel – and four grandchildren. He began his career on The Philco-Goodyear Television Playhouse as Tybalt in 1949. Goof Troop was his only DTVA appearance. Just (Grandpa Wrinkle) was his final credit. He has 253 Acting credits, 14 Self credits, 1 Thanks credit and 3 Archive Footage credits to his resume. Yeah; it's been a long while since I had a new tribute to the list of tributes for this show. They were cutting corners like mad at this point.
So Bob sneaks up from behind and raspberries the kids from behind Pete's back. That amused me for some reason. PJ and Max hide down and proclaim that to let him have it. Oddmakers: 1000:1 Bob, 1.1:1 Pete. Pete is confused; so it's 1:1 odds now and the kids spray Pete in the face with their awkward orange supersoakers. Max and PJ then run over as General Bob is down on the ground on his belly as they point their supersoakers at him. Pete then invokes the pointy finger of death on Bob! Oh; now this means war as Bob states that this is not over yet; calling them rookie as he invokes the "pull the carpet off the babyfaces" spot; so it's clear Kit taught him that one. Max and PJ hide behind Pete as Bob soaks Pete's face good. Pete is protesting this as Bob proclaims that he who squirts and runs away, lives to squirt another day. Would have worked a lot better; if squirting could actually kill you. It doesn't. More like: "He who squirts and runs away; is dry from squriting for another day." Bob bails stage left as Max and PJ follow him; remembering to stomp on Pete's face twice, so they learned that one from Molly. Pete gets up and going to do something to those kids; which is nothing, because Peg is standing right there with the Gruffi pose. Geez; I wonder who will get blamed for this mess, eh? Pete stammers like a stupid idiot as Peg of course is blaming Pete for the mess. Peg does the choke job on his tie as Pete claims that he had nothing to do with it and it's all the kids and Uncle Bob's fault. Which is in fact, true. Pete of course gets pulled by the ear by Peg as we discover that Uncle Bob is the uncle of Peg Pete. Peg tells Pete to leave Brigadier General Robert E. Lee Sparrowhawk alone because Bob is in retirement see, and thus is untouchable from responsability, see. And apparently; so are the kids, so the default lies with Pete. Peg picks up a stand and places it down and Robert is acting strange because he feels useless. Yeah; he feels useless because he doesn't know anything else, but fighting and once he loses the right to do that, what is he then? POW! OUCH! Ummm... Peg claims that he has a good heart (not with that body it's not) as Pete is more worried about his head, which I cannot argue. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Peg has a lamp and asks Pete if he said something and Pete claims that he said he wasn't alone with the kids as Peg throws all the stuff onto Pete; which is bigger than his body weight; talking about how PJ and Max love him. Sounds about right.
Peg stuffs the featherduster into Pete's pile of cleaning knick-knacks and tells him to dust her knick-knacks. That sounds like entrapment to me, Peg. POW! OUCH! Ummm...Pete whines because he has work to do since Earl Yokel's commercials are killing his business. I would worry more about Peg killing your business right now, Pete. Peg comes over and stretchs his jaw as she calls this thoughtful; since she wants Pete to have Uncle Bob come over to shoot commercials with Pete to help secure the business. Pete cannot believe this; but before he can protest, Peg kisses him on the cheek causing Pete to drop the cleaning products. Thankfully; no soap was involved as Peg giggles since Pete never had such a good idea in his life. Nice one below the belt there, Peg. Peg tries to leave to tell Bob; but Pete cuts her off and Pete wants to tell him because he wants to make Bob's face light up with joy. I don't think it means what you think it means, Pete as he holds the toilet comb as Peg walks off and proclaims that Pete no longer has to clean up the living room (Good! Because Pete did nothing to deserve that.). Pete still isn't thrilled because Bob is ruining his life, instead of Pete doing it to himself. Pete ponders over how to get rid of Bob who only takes orders from the U.S. Army. So yes; Goof Troop takes place in the Ducktales-equse universe. Pete brushes the back of his hair with the toilet brush and we all get dinged for that. Because Pete has a Krackpotkin plan as he bends the brush. Scene change to outside of Goofy's property on the sidewalk next to a fire hydrant as birds are chirping and Max and PJ are running around with their supersoakers looking for Uncle Bob I betcha. Uncle Bob pops from the fire hydrant and twinkle toes stage left. It's funny that this is a fake hydrant since no water pillar is shown at all; even though it's placed in a spot where a fire hydrant should be there. So; nice hiding place there, dood. So we zoom in towards Goofy's house as Goofy's voice finally beckons as he is reading instructions on something which are available in Spanish, French, Dutch, Italian and in English. Sadly; they are not available in Goofish. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So we are in the kitchen with Goofy sitting down with the paper of instructions on how to repair the sink plumbing as the How-To-Narrator has return to annoy everyone as usual. Apparently; cat's are not allowed to repair stuff. And we accuse them of being mean?!
So this is about disconnecting the sink for annual inspection and cleaning as Goofy claims that he loves this stuff. Yeah; because we have to kill time on this plot somehow, so why not have Goofy trying to do something and screw it worse than Joe "The Plumber" ever could. Oh wait; that is disrespectful. I meant; worse than I ever could. That's more like it. Waffles is stunned as Goofy picks up the saw and the How-To-Narrator is channeling Narrator Stan from The Wuzzles again as he can apparently see Goofy picking up the wrong object; and Goofy can hear him as he drops the saw and picks up the pipe wrench. Time for the narrator to confuse the hell out of Goofy again as Goofy is doing flips in the sink cupboard while Waffles stands there smiling and amused by all this. Probably one of the few times in this series that I'm on Waffles side. Waffles is clawing the floor as Goofy calls this a cinch. Of course; the narrator has to remind everyone that Goofy is a stupid idiot because he forgot to turn off the water. FLOOD OF DEATH ensues as Goofy screams and swims better than Vinnie Mac after a beer bath; while Waffles panics as usual. Goofy swims like a waterwheel by the way; in case anyone didn't notice. Goofy holds onto the cupboard doors and then we jump cut to the backyard with Max and PJ talking to Uncle Bob and marking out on him. A sparrow lands on Bob's helmet as PJ cannot believe that Bob has retired as Max calls this a waste because Bob is awesome. What a bunch of warmongers Uncle Bob has turned these kids into?! Bob believes that he's being reserved for something really special. Hmm; maybe being a the poser for the new bird bath in Spoonerville National Cemetary. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Bob shakes violently and blows off the birds as he calls them vultures. Sadly; none of them stole his nose that he probably blamed on eating a dead carrot stick many years ago. So we continue on with the exchanging of notes on the army saving him for something really special. Bob takes off his helmet as he has a hilariously bad crew haircut. Not as hilarious as Officer Neal from TNA; but still pretty bad. Bob claims that no one in the history of his military career has taken him by surprise. Oh Goofy?! I think I have a job for you...POW! OUCH! Ummm... PJ is amazed by this as Bob claims he has to be very stupid to surprise him. Can you smell the surprise; or do I have to spell it out for him?! So Goofy flies in backwards, bonks into Bob and they smack into the wooden fence and somehow the fence doesn't break and the bumps were completely wussy. Kit is smaller than Goofy and his bump into Baloo's belly was a lot more sick than this one. Goofy apologizes for this for not watching which way he was being blasted. Bob tells him to forsake the apology because Goofy is incredible. I'll say! Goofy is an incredible in being a stupid idiot.
Bob and Goofy get up as Bob calls this knocking off of his socks (which didn't happen by the way), thrilling. Bob proclaims that he is going to be best buddies from now on. Bob bails to change because he hates soggy underwear as Goofy asks the simple question we all know: Who was that guy? PJ claims that Bob is his uncle, which I assume Bucky is his aunt. Max announces Uncle Bob's full name and his status as retired while saluting. Goofy can believe it because he's pooped. So we scene change to Pete's backyard as Bob is walking around as Pete arrives dressed as a fake tree; which looks faker than Donald Trump's hair. No; that squirrel with the nut is only slightly more real than the tree as Bob and the tree salute each other. Then the tree whistles; invoking Bob's karate skills which were taught in the Darkwing Duck School of Self Defense. BLAM! Hee hee! Missed again, Drake! YOU ARE NOT....POW! OUCH! Ummm... Bob turns around as the squirrel looks concerned; but not panicky as Pete claims to be military intelligence. Geez; Pete is a bigger nut than the squirrel's nut on that tree outfit. Then a bunch of dogs show up as Bob scratches his head as Bob demands a password. Pete claims that the two dogs never told him because it was too secret, which Bob agrees on. Yeah; we have reached the cuckoo land now in this episode. Pete states that the message is that Bob is needed for a national emergency. The dogs bail stage left; doing dog things, rendering them pointless in this story of course. Bob is loving this as he asks what the special emergency is and Bob will know it when he sees it. Pete tells Bob to create a base of operations far away from Pete's property and Bob can use his own judgment on recruiting troops. Bob has the perfect solider for this mission and salutes the fake tree in response. The fake tree salutes him back with KP and Bob leaves stage right. So Kim Possible is now a farewell message? Pete calls Bob, General Moonbeam as he dings us again because it's the fourth of July and that general is perfect for his stragedy. Pete taps his heels on cue as we get a really stupid logic break: Pete goes into the back of his house through the glass door without opening it and simply disappears. It was never opened at all. What a stupid way to end the segment nearly eleven minutes in. This is an amusing episode to say the least; but I'm still tired of this being another Pete scheme to screw Goofy good.
After the commercial break; we head inside Goofy's kitchen as we have quite the plumbing pipe puzzle to solve here. Goofy comes in with the paper as he's confused because English is Greek to him. Yeah; it's so hard to get instructions in Goofish; but bigots are everywhere, so there's that. Goofy has the wrench as Uncle Bob comes in whispering and motioning to Goofy to come over to him. Bob is now literally in the sink as Goofy comes over and looks underneath the sink. Bob grabs Goofy and pulls him into the cupboard; slamming the door. Bob asks if he's alone as Waffles is standing at the door outside; which Goofy claims that he doesn't know because it's too dark to see. We have a tickle fight off-screen with pots banging for fun and then an on-screen shot of Goofy booting Bob in the face. I'm shocked this wasn't edited out in syndication as Waffles watches on from outside as Waffles looks at us and is like; "You're believing this?". Answer: yes. So we exchange notes on the situation complete with squeak sound to the nose by Bob. Bob claims that this moment will be looked back with pride for the rest of Goofy's life. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't think you want that to happen, General. We get more rumbling as Goofy claims that he forgot to turn off the water again. Wait; so how come this didn't happen at the beginning of the scene? This water is very selective today, methinks. So Waffles looks into the hard camera and we blow through the roof into a three way water spout spot. Scene change to Pete's house claiming that he was there as we head inside as Pete is dressed like the American flag version of Super Dave Osborne with a riding crop cutting a promo about the first men on earth traded a broken stone wheel for a pork chop, he was there. This is really creepy. When the first RV salesman sold a covered wagon with a leaky canvas top and no warranty, Pete was there. So Pete stole the parts for the Shortcut in Ducktales? Mirror eye shot as he is going to show Earl Yokel up because he was there. Pete then proclaims that he needs a tank with an 88-MM cannon to promote RV sales. Scene change to the countryside as Bob is driving his jeep with PJ, Max and Goofy. Goofy thanks Bob for bringing the kids along as Bob cuts a promo about boys, codgers, teenagers, infants, adults and I couldn't make out the analogy either, Goofy. Goofy claims that his tongue would go numb on that promo. You don't say?!
Max asks where are they going as PJ asks what they are going to do; and Bob claims that it's top secret so those details are not said. All Bob says is that the world will be a better place when they are through. Geez; Goofy is awesome, so he's already done that by default. Max calls this radical because they are going to hug trees. HAHA! PJ calls it cool as we arrived at the abandoned army base somewhere in Spoonerville as Bob does the most dangerous stopping of a car I have ever seen and somehow everyone is safe. The dust engulfs the babyfaces as Bob calls this the Spoonerville County Militia Armory and Surplus Depot. So yes; Spoonerville is also a county in Ohio. The dust clear as we see a really bad boarded up red building that looks like a cross between a school and a firehouse; which the kids love anyway. We see some broken down hangers as we walk around while Bob is honored and privileged of preparing them all to meet the oncoming emergency. Max and PJ are giddy over this as Goofy asks what this emergency is again. Bob calls him Gyrene and claims that he knows it when he sees it. Which to me is the phrase of arrogance, unless you have such expertise in it. Which you really don't need to say it. Max and PJ slap skin over this trained solider as Bob gives them green army basics training manuals. Then it's advanced tactics as Goofy walks away and this leads to a segueway as Goofy is wearing army shorts, a tank top, green socks and shoes as the How To Narrator rears his ugly head again. Okay; now the writers are just trying to rib on me now since Goofy can hear voices now. No one wants to hear the voices in Goofy's head, writers! So we begin with the obstacle course of doom as Goofy puts the book in his shorts and his shorts fall down before he pulls them back up again. So Goofy gets set and he runs like a roadrunner and then like the wind. An easterly wind this time and shut up narrator, I'm trying to call this. Goofy gives us the thumbs up to the hard camera; which is the signal for: "hit the brick wall and perform the Scooby-Doo snow angel spot." Which is exactly what he does. Goofy drops out as we scene change to an abyss using the exact same background as the ending to the New Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh! Goofy runs in a westerly wind direction this time and his shorts keep falling down. SHUT UP, NARRATOR~! Sadly; the rope undoes itself from the branch of the tree and drops; so Goofy falls into the abyss.
By the way; Goofy literally get WARNERED on that spot; complete with Wily E. Coyote camera angles. Also last seen in Destiny Rides Again. So we see a bubbly muddy pit and then pan up to see Goofy on the left side with a backpack as he has to do the high wire act across it. Goofy of course is so unstable as he does whirlwind tricks on it. Okay narrator; now you are literally screwing this up and I cannot laugh at it in good conscience. Shut up already! So the rope drops into the sticky mud and Goofy is standing calling it too heavy; so he removes his backpack and places it on a wooden stump. That is not enough to catapult Goofy into the air. Goofy wipes his head with a cloth and tosses it. This is enough to catapult Goofy into the air. Jump cut to Pete in his stupid Super David American outfit outside the military area (check the razor wire barb wire fence) as Pete uncovers the tank of doom which contains 24 V awesomeness according to Pete. Pete claims that this will be fun during rush hour. Yeah; I'll bet, I'm sure it will be fun to run over your enemies with that thing. Pete claims that the tank is obsolete; which is fitting considering how obsolete Pete is as a used car salesman. Pete needs to get a life if he's treating his tank like a woman, that's a bad sign right there. Pete states that no one is going to stop him from making him a star and selling a lot of RV's. Since when has Pete been selling RV's in this show? I know he has one, but having one doesn't equal selling them. Then we get the best moment ever: Pete sees Goofy coming towards him. Pete steps back one step. Pete takes out cloth and dusts ground with it in the spot where he thinks Goofy will land. Pete waits and then gets squashed by Goofy anyway. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! That bump created dust and it was WITH CHEESE AND BACON~! Goofy pops up and thanks him for catching him as Pete blows him off for appearing out of nowhere as Bob comes in and demands answers to this outrage to end the segment sixteen minutes in. Oh; this should be good now...
After the commercial break; we have the troops and Pete standing together as Bob demands to know why Pete is hanging around this area dressed as a Boy Scout. Wait; THAT'S a Boy Scout outfit?!! Cue Bobby Heenan losing it...AGAIN! And Bob accuses PETE of having dellusions of grandeur?! Hideously hilarious! Pete actually tells the truth for a change as he wants a tank for his sales campaign. I think we know where this is going now. You see; Pete didn't lie here, which means in everyone's eyes, Pete must be lying about it since the truth hurts him greatly. Bob asks why he should believe him. Pete claims that Bob has believed everything about him before as Max is confused and so is PJ. I'm confused too. Like; how should I buy anything Pete says. Pete has never considered the consequences of crying wolf at all. Figures; knowing Pete. Pete basically confesses his sin right in front of the males as Goofy is not impressed by this as Bob is in shock as Pete admits that he was the military intelligence; which PJ calls a really scary concept. You don't say?! Bob is absolutely crushed by this as he sulks off realizing that he was made into a stupid idiot by a used car salesman. Which is in fact true. I like Bob; but the facts are the facts here. The kids run after him as Goofy has the Gruffi pose on and is not happy with Pete's treatment; and Pete isn't buying this and thinks Bob knows that he was working him. Goofy isn't so sure and I agree with this. Bob didn't give off any non-verbal cues that he knows Pete was goofing around on him. I think Pete really did hurt his feelings; which is not hard to do, considering how much of an assholish gasbag Pete is. Pete don't care; and just wants to start up the tank as we jump cut to Uncle Bob with his helmet sulking on an oil barrel. In comes the kids to make the save. Now; if you remember Whistlestop Jackson, Legend; I loved the way they handled the elder in that one. Let's see if they can do it again. Max wants PJ to talk to him because PJ is a bonehead and PJ is his uncle. Well; we are off to a bad start on this already. PJ waves hello to his uncle as the kids sit together and Max blows off PJ. Oh sod off, Max! Bob tells Max to stand down as you cannot make the truth a lie. Ummm; yes you can. If the truth cannot be backed up by facts and evidence, then by proxy, it's a lie.
PJ asks if he was a great solider and Bob claims that he'll never find out. So Bob just admitted that he wasn't a great solider at all. So he lied about it. I would call him out on it right now. Jump cut back to the tank as Goofy is putting ribbons on the antenna asking about the banner. Pete claims that this is all in good time as he needs to get the motor running on the tank. Goofy finds the green army manual and claims that you have got to twist the doohickey around and Pete blows him off like a toxic macho man who don't need that reading and learning, dood. Pete is in the tank in a chair manning the levers (JESUS~! JESUS~!) as he starts up the tank and it rumbles. Goofy tells him to drive carefully. Considering who is reading the manual; it's both ironic and not convincing Pete nor me in any way that this manual has creditability. That's like the Junior Woodchuck Guide Book in Ducktales; only read by a redneck. Nothing good can come out of it. Goofy insists that it doesn't have wheels as Goofy rides on conveyer belt as the tank moves stage right. Goofy loses book as Pete steers so badly that he crashes into the abandoned hanger and destroy it. Pete SMASH~! Goofy yells for help and demands Pete stop the tank; which we know Pete will no sell; because it's GOOFY of course. However; Pete cannot stop the thing anyway and it's a tank out of control. Goofy goes under the belt and gets coated with mud on the way up. Pete bonks into lookoff tower and Goofy gets dusted and forced to hang onto the supports (which are wooden, by the way) as the tank bails stage left. Goofy is glad for the tower; but it's creaking and crumbling as the kids and Uncle Bob run in. Bob demands answers to this outrage as the tower finally falls and everyone has to beat feet and fall back, in that order. Tower is destroyed; but Goofy is merely concussed of course; but I repeat myself. Bob demands to know what is going on; and Goofy points out the obvious to everyone. And I do mean, everyone. Everyone bails in various direction as the tank drives by to the northwest with Pete screaming for help. Now; normally, I don't do quotes because most of the quotes on this show are not hilarious, but this one was:
Goofy: Umm, Pete's having a little trouble with his tank!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No fleas on you, Goofy. No fleas on you! Bob calls the machine a killer if you don't know what you are doing. Ah; the story of Pete and Donald Trump's life, nice one Bob. Goofy and Max proclaims that only Bob can save Pete and Bob ponders it over. He decides this is the time to save him and tells the kids to call Peg and go home. Bob grabs Goofy as they have a job to do. Max and PJ stop and proclaim Bob is even braver than he thought. So you did believe that Bob was lying all those years. So we scene change as the tank clobbers and downs trees; as the jeep bounces in from behind after it. Bob is driving and Goofy is playing cheerleader; which is a really dangerous position knowing Goofy's devastating kicking power in the pilot episode. Oh wait; Goofy's driving and Bob is playing cheerleader. That's LESS dangerous. Not by much mind you; but still. Goofy drive onto potholes and hits one causing Goofy and Bob to fly into the air as the steering wheel breaks. They free fall into a hanger vent just in line with the tank driving in. How convenient is that?! Goofy is rolling on the belt wheels again as Bob is stuck in the porthole of the tank. Bob grabs Goofy as he hates it like the dickens. Yes; yes you do, Goofy. Goofy and Bob head into the tank as Bob closes the porthole as they are heading for a cliff. Of course! Bob checks the parts; and none of them work because Pete handles tanks like he handles cars; very poorly. So Bob insists we flip a switch and turn off the engine; making Pete look like the guy who is stupid and then tries to claim that he knew that. So Bob switches off the engine about ten seconds too late and we bob and weave on the cliff for a while. See what I did there? Pete asks Bob for manual instruction and of course; the manual doesn't say anything. Of course! However; a trained solider knows what to do and he mans the controls. This causes Pete to grab Bob and claim that he's going to smoosh them (crush them as I stated in The Incredible Shrinking Molly); but Goofy grabs Pete as we tetter-totter for a bit before Bob flips the plastic case off the controls and pushes the tiny red button on it, which fires the gun and the tank flies backwards into the air and where it lands, will Peg ever care? So the flag comes out with Pete's picture on it flapping in the wind. Thankfully; it's not his flapdoodle as we head to the town of Spoonerville.
Jump cut to inside an office with a desk containing lots of money, a ticker and Earl Yokel in a chicken suit counting his money, chickens and cocks all in one sitting. Take THAT Pete Pete! No wonder your business is failing so much. Then the crowd hears and sees something in the up as we get the Superman promo. This causes Earl to go to his window and open the blinds as he panics because they see the tank flying in the air as Porky Pete has wooed the crowd so much that they all turn on Earl Yokel; who by the way, is the owner of the same auto shop Pete tried to run out of business when Inspector Goofy was around and Earl was more honest than a saint without sin. Earl pleads for them to come back and then gets murdered by the crowd via being trampled by repeated animation of the crowd running and making Earl eat dust. Sigh. Jump cut to Pete's car lot as the tank crashes into Pete's office and destroying the entire lot. Well; I guess Earl got lucky then. Goofy's got googly eyes, a sign of a massive concussion. Bob comes out and calls it like being a solider as Goofy calls it a nice shot. I'll say! I'm sure Peg is laughing all the way to the bank on that one. Pete grabs Goofy and yells at him because his business is wrecked and Bob almost killed them. So yes; you can still say "kill" in a DTVA cartoon at this point. Crowd still runs in and showers Pete with dollar bills as Pete gets all giddy. Goofy claims that Bob really saved the business. Yeah; too bad, it's going to take all that money just to repair the entire car lot, but otherwise, the business has been saved. Thanks to Uncle Bob and his really broken 88MM tank. Pete walks over and shakes Uncle Bob's hand as Pete makes the perfect repellent to keep those sparrows off of Bob's head. Bob looks like he's regretting this handshake as Pete embraces him thanking Goofy for being right for once. Goofy proclaims that this proves that old soliders cannot buy, but they can certainly trade away. Redneck giggle, I don't know what Goofy is talking about; so end the episode at 21:15. Fun episode; but not as great as Whistlestop Jackson, Legend though. Although; it's nice that Pete for once didn't try to scheme Earl or Goofy this time; only Bob, who really needed a scheme to shake him up anyway. So call this *** 1/2 (70%). Could've been better if I understood some of the promos though.
THE REVIEW LINE
Okay; this was just a fun episode with funny moments out of the wazoo, some great animation and a good character in Uncle Bob. Sure; this is not Whistlestop Jackson, Legend; but it was inoffensive, it was fun and Goofy is always Goofy. Sure; it's another "Pete schemes on someone"; but Uncle Bob was fun; albeit a shallow character at best. Max's blow off on PJ during the BSOD sequence annoyed me and Peg blaming Pete for messing up the living room was bullcrap; although Peg did manage to make sure Pete got out of the consequences that Pete didn't deserve anyway; so I'm fine with it. The HTN (How To Narrator) has got to go now; he completely annoyed me during the army training sequence with his promos as Goofy was funny on his own without such narration, but the writers just had to drive the point home; making it feel unfunny in the end. Overall; this was a fun episode and nothing more, and there isn't anything wrong with that. Next up is A Goof For The People; which is Goof Troop's second environmental episode of the series and then we end disc one of the second volume with Goof Under My Roof; which I hated as a kid now. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.