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Everything's Coming Up Goofy
Reviewed: 03/03/2017
The Actual Beginning Of The Goof Troop.
Well; after thirty episodes of ranting and with still three episodes on the DVD Volume 2 Disc One set left to do before this one; we finally arrive with the first episode of the two part pilot. I don't understand why it's midway through the first disc of the second volume of the DVD set; leading me to conclude that it's order is in animation order instead of airing order; which should have been on Volume One, Disc One. I never understood the purist mentality of having episodes in animated order when the show is episodic to begin with. Anyhow; you would think this was a forty-four minute episode; but it's not true. This episode is 22 minutes long and it was combined with Good Neighbour Goof as a double bill and then combined into a 45 minute special. Now; you would also think that this would be an epic story like Darkwing Duck's pilot or even the ultra wacky Wuzzles pilot or even Fluppy Dogs. Well; the plot of this entire pilot is simple: Goofy moves out of previous town with Max and they go to Spoonerville to a new home which happens to be next door to Pete. Pete and Goofy (well mostly Pete) hate each other (really only Pete) and PJ and Max are separated. PJ and Max try to make the neighbours reconcile and all's well. Yeah. Remember two years ago and Plunder and Lightning and how historic that was? Now; we simply move to a new town, hate the neighbour, and then kiss and make up. The days of epic were gone...until Awakening from Gargoyles at least. So how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Marion Wells and story edited by Karl Geurs. The animation was provided by Walt Disney Animation Australia, PTY Limited.
Interesting Moment #1: Before I begin this; I will be reviewing the syndication version of this pilot as the special was named "Forever Goof". It was originally broadcast as a one-hour special on September 5, 1992, accompanied by the "Gotta Be Gettin' Goofy" music video and a rerun of The Goofy Success Story.[1] I will not be reviewing the music video, nor the rerun of the Goofy Success Story since the later is simply a clip show and the music video I cannot find at this time. I don't think either segment is available on Youtube at the moment, either.
We begin this one (and the series no less) with a red letter episode title as we see the red jeep parked on a smallest property overlooking the river you ever did see. There is a trailer on the cliff along with a picnic table, lamp , mailbox and three trash cans. Zoom in as we head inside the trailer which has an oversized kitchen where Goofy is frying food on a stove. Remember The Wuzzles where we see them having a picnic at the start of their show? Yeah; we have gone full circle now. So like nearly every DTVA show up to this point; they start with the babyfaces doing mumdane things. Only Darkwing Duck's was truly exciting and Rescue Rangers was fun in it's own sort of mundane way. Ironically; the only two shows to open with the heels doing stuff were Gummi Bears and TaleSpin; and TaleSpin has the most exciting opening of all the pilots. Goofy is cooking with a paddle and humming. And to think; this is still more exciting than the pilot of Quack Pack, which is Transmission Impossible by the way. Ponder that one for a moment. Goofy is cooking sweet and sour meatballs by the way and channeling the flipping powers of Pasquelie before paddling them meatballs good. Goofy calls for Max (who changed his name from Goofy Junior by the way) as Max skateboards in and hits a plank of wood on the way in, which was out of nowhere. Did I mention that the table is a ping pong table and they are currently playing the game with meatballs at they eat the meatballs one at a time. There are plates set up for no reason. They do a long rally with one as we jump cut to Waffles on a green chair looking annoyed as hell over this. Waffles tries to eat the meatballs; but no luck as the door opens to reveal the orange haired/mustache post officer which shows that this show is so tedious that I have forgotten the episode he was in. All you need to know is that he does appear at least one more time in another episode which I already previously ranted on. Two meatballs into the eyes! And one in the mouth as the post officer proclaims that it's Wednesday; so he does know Goofy's cooking. The stamp is changing colors literally frame by frame as the officer shows off a letter to Goofy.
Goofy grabs the letter and yes; this post officer has a first name: George! Too bad the character designs are so monoculture that it was not a monkey, although this George might be curious. Apparently; Goofy is making flying chicken wings tomorrow, which I would pay good money to see once and only once. Goofy looks at the letter and then sits down on the green chair and nearly squashes Waffles in the process. Goofy claims that good things come in small packages. Well; giants also often come with small packages; in which mine is inverted half of the time. Goofy opens the letter and he's excited because it's his diploma as Max skateboards over as we get the narrator talking about a diploma that I cannot read because it's written in a language I don't either understand or it doesn't exist since having one might be copyright infringement. Also; it's an excuse to bring back the "How To Narrator" to explain the diploma to us and he has defeated the course in Widget Waffler Deluxe. Max's expression is so priceless, you know this has to be Goofy winning in a videogame. His full name is G.G. Goof now; so it's Goofy G. Goof or G. Goofy Goof; ala S. Scott Bullock. Goofy has white skin legs as he jumps up and down; and even says "Rapture"! Goofy goes over to a box and proclaims that he can take that old job in his old home town of Spoonerville. Goofy packs up the box with clothes from the conveniently placed clothesline and tells Max to pack up because they are moving up in the world. Of course; Goofy takes the box and the clothes drop through and onto the floor. Max is not liking this, asking about his friends. You know; writers, if you want to do this; it would be in your best interest to actually SHOW these friends of Max so there is actual context to what Max is saying, because the trailer appears to be parked in the middle of nowhere with no other trailers in sight! Goofy basically exposes that Max has no real friends because he claims that there are plenty of trees in Spoonerville, and there is even a lake as Goofy continues packing. So forgive me if I don't have much sympathy for Max here. Show me them friends, Max; and I'll reconsider your feelings.
Goofy is still forgetting to tape the bottom of the box as now Max won't have to fish in the sink; even though there is a RIVER in the background overlooking the trailer. Oh, and his old school "friend" Pete is there. Scare quotes intentional of course as Max suddenly warms up to it. So yes; Max really doesn't have any friends. Goofy bails with the empty book; as he proclaims "What a guy?!" Baloo: "What a lie?! Goodbye!" Scene change to a sky shot of a lake somewhere in Spoonerville as Pete in a blue captain's uniform on the back of his boat is fishing while sitting down. Oh wait; it's a model of a lake because the real Pete is playing with the model containing a stoned version of himself as a model dummy. When Peg sees Pete; she wishes he was the model dummy in the boat and not the real one she married. We discover that this is all a model of Pete's future property to create a hotel and resort near his property with it's own lake and mountain side as we see Pete is in the living room playing with the motorboat, like a manchild. He makes cowboy references as we finally got a motive for Pete screwing out Goofy: Pete wants to use the property Goofy is going to get to build a hotel and resort at and behind Pete's property. At least; that is Pete's wet dream as Chainsaw growls at the conveniently placed picnic table containing a picnic basket and model turkey legs. Pete takes out the world's tiniest axe (no joke) and chops down a palm tree; as the palm tree falls and bonks into Chainsaw's head, overselling it like it was a real palm tree. Might as well call Chainsaw Dolph Ziggler now. Pete blows off Chainsaw and then goes into the background as it is a complete and utter mess. Pete is sizing up his property and then breaks through a wooden plank which is helpfully marked as he sizes up what will be Goofy's property in storyline. Of course; Pete wants to destroy the house as Peg arrives calling him dimplebuns. Peg comes in claiming that Pete has dellusions. You don't say?! I reckon he also has a scoiopathic complex as well. Case in point: Pete start selling that his stress levels are so high that he goes red eyes and acts like a stupid idiot:
Peg: Wait; how could you tell the difference?!
Gregory:
The eyes, Peg. Stress = red eyes and No-Stress = blue eyes.
Peg:
I see...Continue on and really lay it into him good!
Gregory:
I'll see what I can do about that...
Peg is not amused; even though that's because she's married to him. Me; I'm somewhat amused by this lame attempt to oversell the fact that Pete is in need of a personality transplant. Pete is given a paper bag and Pete blows into it because he's hyper-ventalating. And now I need one to put on my head even though it will be impossible to unsee that image. Peg concedes that she cannot find a buyer for this property and it's harder to sell than the mumps. Probably because Pete is as diseased as the mumps! Maybe you should look into the fact that your beloved is a gallstone around your neck and it's high time you dump him before he does something that will make a classic Forsenic Files case. But no; Peg proclaims that if someone doesn't buy the property by nine pm tonight; Pete gets the property outright. Pete snirks with evil intentions on that one as we head back to the trailer as a moving truck has arrived with a large gash on the back. Why? Why not?! Did I mention that the trailer is literally next to a brick apartment building which we don't see until now. It's not a logic break since the green tree was moved enough in the first scene to make it so we don't see it, it's just odd. So Goofy is literally outside the city limits of Spoonerville, I'm guessing as a metaphor for Goofy being an outsider. So we see Homer (whose gimmick is the same as the guest characters in Your Baloo's In The Mail) who is a dogear with brown hair wearing a pink shirt, red strapped brown overalls and a stocking shaped cyan blue hat turning around cutting promos as Goofy throws him a box of plates and he misses them completely shattering them. I blame Goofy for that one: He needs the "Sometimes You Got To Take Your Time" song from Teddy Ruxpin. Jump cut to Max with the plank of wood inside the trailer emptying it and putting in the box proclaiming that he had some goof times in this trailer. Goofy comes in proclaiming that he'll have even more in Spoonerville. Goofy continues to pack the box; including unintentionally grabbing Waffles by the neck and stuffing him into the box as he waxes about getting a new house with a lawn, garden and tomatey plants.
So Goofy and Max head to the jeep as they pack the boxes onto the top of the jeep. Max literally has to keep Homer from falling as Homer is acting drunk and as he walks stage left, he crashes into something off-screen. So Goofy and Max are in the jeep as we zoom out and discover that the river background is a hoax because it's simply a painting on a cloth because the property is literally in a city polluted by smoke. Goofy wonders what will happen to the old homestead as he drives the jeep away and after ten seconds of looking at the property...nothing happens. BOO! Scene change to Peg at Goofy's future property doing the hard sell on it with a couple as they enter the place. We discover inside the front door that there is a video camera inside as we jump cut to a satellite dish moving up on it's own inside Pete's backyard. Jump cut to Pete in the living room watching television with the remote control on the sofa. Pete turns the television on and is basically spying on Peg and the would-be buyers. The buyers are so far impressed with the house as they claim that if the downstairs is as good as the upstairs, they are taking it. Peg bails to get the papers to sign the deal on the house as Pete is sarcastically taking about cartoonies. So he pushes a button on the remote which somehow is the transmitter signal to bring down the most generic spider in history. No one under six years old should be afraid of this spider; but I betcha these two couples will be so scared that they refuse to buy and leave Peg hanging. I check the DVD...The woman is screaming; but the man simply cuts the bug and puts it in the jar. So no; I'm not damn good here. Pete is impressed as he brings out the out of nowhere cell phone which is in greyscale like the B&W television he has and calls the bug loving man (with oversized belt and tie) to inform him that he's from the Concerned Neighbourly Buyers' Protection Agency; or CNBPA; and that the house is on an earthquake fault as he pushes another button on the remote and that shakes the house. The woman screams even more and now that I think about it more; she looks like a clone of Diane Pickles from Rugrats.
So we get more rumbling as Diane Dill and Buglover Dill rush out of the house and bowl over Peg and her papers on the front steps. Peg is on his ass frustrated and wonders why since this is the tenth time this week. Ummm; check your husband, I think his personality is defective. Case in point: Jump cut to Pete calling Earl's Rents because he wants to rent a steamroller. Big enough to flatten a house. He's the definintion of counting chickens and cocks before they hatch. Scene change to a roadside with Goofy driving his jeep on it. Long driving sequence through interchanges and causing pileups ensue as they drive into the mountains. Goofy literally drives up a mountain like a total idiot as the jeep stops and Max and Goofy push the jeep up the hill. Yeah; this is probably the most thrilling part of the pilot and it's not all that thrilling. Goofy is mangling his sense of direction like an idiot; which is fine because in storyline, he's supposed to be an idiot. They make it to the top of the hill which contains a power pole wired to a conveniently placed phone booth as Max notices the town of Spoonerville is just ahead down the hill. Goofy then remembers that he forgot to call Pete and tell him that he's coming back to Spoonerville. This is the one time being rude and not calling him would be a better bet. Waffles has since got out of his box as Goofy goes into the phone booth. Jump cut to Pete's living room as Pete is taking down notes. Wait; I thought he already rented the steamroller. Why would he need to take the notes down for it again?! He writes down more items; including lots of trout eggs as he goes to the door. The phone rings and Pete is not amused by this as he walks over to his wireless phone and answers it. One Ha-yuck is all Goofy needs for Pete to change expressions into complete shock as Pete hangs up and is in total denial. HA! Pete is about to leave again as the phone rings. Three guesses who it is and the first two don't count. Sadly; we get nothing but gibberish from the phone because this conversation would be a riot to listen too. Pete of course hates him because Goofy is brainless as he finds out that he's coming to Spoonerville. Pete is stammering, YA!
So Pete tells him not to take the main end because of construction and the bridge is out. I betcha he's lying and the main road is the only way to get into Spoonerville. Anyhow; the jeep starts to slowly go down the hill to fetch a pail of It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck nuts. 2:1 odds Waffles is responsible for it. Max yells for Goofy as Goofy notices and panics. They chase after the jeep as Goofy is somehow still on the phone while running and taking notes from Pete; all falsehoods of course because they have to go 700 miles, then due south for three days until they get to the state line. Anyone with half of a brain would have figured out that this was a big fat lie; but this is GOOFY we are talking about here. The phone line breaks; but Goofy says goodbye anyway while chasing his jeep. Pete mocks him on the way out as he runs out of the house. Jump cut to more jeep chasing as Goofy trips and falls into the conveniently placed baby carriage. Why does Goofy need that?! Answer: To be Goofy of course. Box bonks onto Goofy's head and Waffles grabs onto Goofy's head in response. Max stops on the hairpin turn like a stupid idiot; because that is the signal for "I'm going to get bonked into the baby carriage", which is exactly what happens. They fly over the cliff and they become WARNERED~! Somehow; this leads them to be stuffed into the jeep the second the jeep is completely down the hill. How about that for convenience?! The Backyardigans would be proud about that spot. Now Waffles is driving the car and screeching as this leads to the first of what would be many spots featuring the babyfaces (and heels) heading straight for a mach truck. Max is screaminng as the car hugs the railing to avoid the truck which takes up one and a half lanes somehow. Which is why no heavy trucks are allowed there in the first place? Goofy is pushing on the brakes; and surprisely, doesn't break them through the floor as Goofy is yelling at Waffles to get off of him. Then we hear a train siern as a train is coming from the train track crossing over the bridge as Max stammers for Dad to end the segment nearly nine minutes in. Yes; the highlight of this episode is the jeep itself. Yawn.
After the commercial break; we see the jeep cross the train tracks twice without hitting the train and it looked kind of muted actually. Jump cut to the jeep bouncing and riding into the train tunnel as screaming ensues. Speaking of logic breaks: the train was behind them when they crossed the tacks a second time and now it's in front of them when they go into the tunnel. You couldn't just have Goofy turn right and be chased by the train?! We go through the tunnel as the jeep is stuck against the front grill of the train. It gets pushed over the cliff on the bridge as the train steers right and the jeep free falls as it drives like a rocket off the ramp and through a metal trussle bridge. The road warps up like gum as the jeep arrives within the Spoonerville city limits. By the way; it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Max is screamed out of his wits as Goofy wants to give Max the ten cent tour. Actually; that would be a good thing, but it will never be as epic as showing Cape Suzette for the first time. So Goofy gives the 411 on Spoonerville as it was built on reclaimed swamp in 1932 and it is home to the world's worst-dressed store window. Yawn. I would love to hear Cape Suzette's story. Burger Behemoth is El-Bobbo Burgers in the pilot; why this wasn't changed in syndication is a mystery to me. Lots of uninteresting stuff as Max is more scared than bored. Apparently; this is Chuck Barry's hometown; which I call BS since his birthplace is Saint Louis, Missouri. Waffles is declawing down as we go through the suburbs as it's clear that Goofy is doing this to kill time because there is nothing interesting about Spoonerville at all. The only thing that was interesting was Hugh's highrise and it was totally out of place and looked like a building code violation away from being torn down. Goofy is now mangling metaphors and sentences like mad; so even he's admitting in his own way that this is a waste of time.
Cape Suzette did a lot more to interest me long BEFORE Baloo did the grand tour (Read: The Cliff Guns alone; along with the narrow entrance) and that tour lasted a good forty seconds or so; and Baloo just showed it without saying more than one sentence. The visuals told the story better. Here; Goofy is talking a mile a minute, not because kids love talking and mixing metaphors (although Goofy mixing metaphors is many buys); it's at best a cover because Spoonerville is the worst town in DTVA history. At worst; it's just there to kill time because this is a 45 minute episode plot which would be better served as a 22 minute one. The story of this show in fact. Goofy's steering wheel comes off as Goofy floors the brakes through the jeep, so you cannot say that spot didn't have a pay off. Goofy goes towards the motorboat on Pete's property and stops about six inches in front of it. How about that? The Fred Flintstone breaking system works! Oh god, it works! I need a drink since Goofy dented the motorboat. Goofy and Max open the doors and fall out as trash covers them. How fitting?! Ha-yuck! Max takes a gong like bump off his head with the golden lamp and he's groggy. He staggers like a drunk as we see PJ for the first time looking out the window. So Max staggers to the window; they look at each other and then scream loudly before bailing. Yawn. Jump cut to Goofy lying on his belly out of the car looking like he's drunk as Waffles comes out and bonks off Goofy's head. Then we get a mind boggling logic break: Waffles is practicing the fine art of not being seen on the bushes. Waffles looks in between the bushes and found nothing. Waffles bails stage left. Out from in between the bushes is Chainsaw for no reason growling. Wait; what?! So Chainsaw goes after Waffles off-screen and proceeds to beat Waffles up off-screen (I think) as we jump cut to the front door as it opens and out comes Peg and the debut of Pistol. Yes folks; all the characters got introduced within the first ten minutes. Peg is smiling as she goes in with the RIC FLAIR BROOMSTICK OF DEATH and is about to murder Goofy; but then sees him and recoils.
Yes; Peg thought it was really Pete and wanted to murder him with the broomstick. Geez; this marriage is really on the rocks since Peg couldn't sell the damn house. Peg notices Goofy and we meet and greet just after Goofy stops acting drunk. Which is about five seconds or so. Peg and Goofy met in high school as they really have a talk and in the middle of the talk; Peg yells at Pistol to stay away from the slugs. I hope it's not the real slugs because Goofy is confused as hell as Peg screams at Peg to leave the slug alone. Major logic break: Pistol is holding an earthworm as Peg is screaming. Slugs do not look like earthworms, Peg. Did the creators of Earthworm Jim threaten legal action for defamation of character or something, since Peg was screaming that earthworms (or slugs in her mind) are slimy, scummy and filthy. Be careful about saying that Peg; Pete will hear you! Pistol does the gulity grin of doom as she hides the worm behind her back as Peg notices Max The Drunken Lamp Ghost as Peg takes off the lamp post. Goofy does feel bad about dinging the motorboat of Pete's as Peg assures him Pete will not notice. Ummm; if Goofy's around, yes he will! Peg invites Goofy and Max into the house and as they go in; Peg screams at Pistol to wash her hands as Pistol was looking at the worm again in clear view of Peg. Wow; what an asshole Peg is?! She's probably one of those anti-vaccine fools who seriously thinks that kids will choose the concreate sidewalk over the muddy road to play with. I think it was Thingy from Orac's Respectful Insolance. (See Chris comment #62 for more details). Pistol simply rubs it on her skirt behind her mother's back and we jump cut to PJ rubbing the motorboat. How he got out of the house without me noticing is another matter. Pistol runs over to PJ as he calls Goofy and Max, dead meat and that Pete will blow his gut. Ummm; that would make Pete the one who is dead meat; not Goofy, PJ. Pistol bets it's the spleen and they bet a quarter on this while shaking hands. Exactly the same spot the twins of Bubsy did in their pilot. So yes; Bubsy was mocking Goof Troop and it failed badly. Why doesn't that surprise me?
Peg tells her kids to say hello to their new guests. Peg introduces PJ to Max as Max is introduced by Goofy. They look like they want to be somewhere else as they say hi and make sure they are looking directly into the hard camera while doing it. They couldn't have cared less. Even Baloo being introduced to Rebecca was more exciting than is and they were adults. Don't get me started on Molly's introduction when Kit notices her. They shake hands; again not making eye contact. Pistol is hyper when she shakes Goofy's hand which was more exciting than any of this by default. She shakes Waffles and Max's hands as well as we jump cut to Pete inside his steamroller pushing the red button as Pete is wearing camping gear proclaiming that the deadline is five minutes away from being over. By morning; the house will be fish fodder. Okay; there is only two ways to book this: (1) Peg meant that the deadline was nine am tomorrow; which she claimed it was nine tonight in the dialogue; so that would make no sense; or (2) Peg gives the papers to Goofy and signs them within five minutes giving Goofy the property outright. The second one makes sense; but if you go five minutes in real time (at 11:46), the second act ends with two minutes to spare. I betcha this ends in five seconds. So Pete and the steamroller come out of the garage as apparently; the garage is like a Tardis; in that various floats of fake objects on trays come out; including a steel swimming pool. Pete drives over to the property and puts the spotlight on the future Goofy property as Pete checks his watch at 12:16. Yes; four minutes and 55 seconds is equal to thirty seconds our time. You couldn't say; thirty-five or even forty seconds?! Pete shows the evil teeth smile and mans the levers (JESUS TIMES TWO~!) and then notices a large dent on his motorboat. Now; you would think: Ignore it. You won; just demolish the house and then get after the guy who dented your boat. I betcha that he stops and acts like a stupid idiot. I check the DVD...Damn; I'm so good. Sadly; only one red eye is shown; and the other is pea soup green as he laughs and blabbers like an idiot for a while.
Rocket spot kills his hair as well as he drops and then comes up; whimpers and screams as zoom out towards the space and planets of course. Jump cut to PJ in the hallway knocking on the door as Pistol opens the door and PJ gives the quarter to Pistol as it was the spleen. HAHA! Yeah; that mockery from the twins of Bubsy was so great; wasn't it, despite the fact that they didn't pay off the spot in Bubsy unlike Goof Troop which in fact did. Sadly; the animators screwed it up and almost had Pistol appear to drop it; but she still grabs it without making sure that they did the animation of her teasing to drop it. Similar to the snowflake landing on Rebecca's nose before it was suppose to land on Rebecca's nose in A Jolly Molly Christmas. Jump cut to Peg looking out the door calling for Mr. Honeybuns. I doubt that seriously, Peg; since that would make Pete lovable, which he is not. Goofy pops out the door and Pete is a scoiopathic train whistle now. Goofy greets Pete like he always does, ha-yuck! Pete is rubbing his finger on his mouth and blabbering like a stupid idiot as Peg brings out the paper bag because it's hyper-ventalating time! I see where Pistol got her rapid talking from as Goofy and Peg run in and stuff a paper bag on Pete's head to try to calm him down. In reality; it's to kill time. Peg wants Goofy to hold him down; so Goofy holds him by the ankles. Holding him down is not one of Goofy's strength as Goofy tells Pete to take ten deep breaths. Pete kicks the lever (JESUS~!) because Goofy wants to start over and Pete steamrolls his motorboat over and Pete starts to be shocked, appalled, panicky, horrified and is probably going to sob like a baby now. Pete pushes the lever (JESUS~!) and everything behind the steamroller pushes up and everything begins to fall over; as the palm trees destroy the steel tank filled with water on the way down. Goofy is so into it; that he yells "timber" as Pete is flooded as he comes down and goes through into the sewers in the whirlpool spot. All the babyfaces run over to the manhole cover in the middle of the street. Everyone is shocked and amazed; except for Peg, who invites them to dinner. HAHA!
So we head outside to the backyard of Pete's property as the sattelite dish is destroying the tree. Jump cut to inside the living room as Max is sitting on Pete's chair playing with the remote as the television is completely fuzzy and not working. PJ and Pistol are sitting on chairs looking ashamed of something, I don't know. Goofy is deep in thought standing as Max calls Pete's remote the weirdest video game he ever saw. Goofy then starts praising Pete which causes PJ to do that smile that says: "No, he really isn't a prince; but we have to sell it that way because Pete will kill us if we don't." Goofy calls him kind and a real crown jewel in the hard-hat of humanity. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Goofy; you really know how to make us laugh at you for stupid comments like this! PJ asks Pistol where they came from and I'm guessing it's Chicago or Hamilton, Ontario, Canada since Spoonerville is in Ohio. Jump cut to the kitchen as Peg is at the counter kneeling dough while Pete is on the island cutting a turkey (with a discolored bone on the right side) calling her butterlips. He's complaining about something because he had to work tonight. He wanted Peg to invite them to dinner next year as Peg gives him the bread dough. Peg proclaims that she didn't invite them to stay for dinner; she invited them to stay with them for the night. At least. Pete whimpers like a scalded catnose on cue. Jump cut back to the living room as we hear crashing off-screen. Goofy goes into complete melodramatics about Pete's "humanity". Pistol guesses "Outer Mongolia" as we jump cut back inside the kitchen as Pete is not a pothead literally popping out of the carnage of pots and pan complaining that Peg has lost her garbanzos as Pete puts the dough into the meat grinder as Peg points out that it's only for a couple of nights until their moving truck makes it to Spoonerville. You know; the one driven by slower than Homer Simpson, Homer Slowson. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Pete stammers like an idiot because he now realizing that they are moving in. Pete asks if it's somewhere in their state; then town and street as he has torn his own sleeve on his shirt as Peg turns around and shows the "For Sale" sigtn which says sold in red letter; thus confirming that Goofy had indeed signed the DEED OF DEATH and the property is now his. Pete sobs like crazy because his plans for the hotel are shattered by this. As if the fact that his props were destroyed in the steamroller wasn't enough to do that. Jump cut to the living room as Pete's remote is officially smoking as Goofy is so overselling this that I laughed until I cried. Goofy; you are awesome. Sadly; everyone else is not. PJ and Pistol look ashamed to be in the same room with him as PJ claims that it's Mars. Scene change to Goofy and Peg looking in the photo album of Goofy and Peg doing cheer leading while Pete was the wide reciever; because the tight end position would be too filthy for him. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Goofy accuses the coach of being unfair to Pete because he lost the big game since Goofy literally kicked Pete in the face in the photos; and BS&P strikes again as they covered it up with impact stars. Remember when you could punch someone in the face in DTVA and not have that happen? I'm puzzled as to what Peg saw in Pete; when it's clear Goofy was Mr. Right for her. I would love to hear Peg's reasoning for this because I'm drawing blank here. We discover that they are at the dinner table as Pete is eating a stalk of celery as PJ asks him why he lied about winning the big game. At least Pete had a good excuse for losing the game and no wonder he's pissed off at Goofy as he looks like he wants to murder someone. PJ recoils as Pete bangs on the table with a bone of ham as Peg tells Pistol to go up for bed and tells PJ to lead Max to his bedroom as PJ has that look of "good idea, anything to get away from the murderous rampage of Pete. Jump cut to Goofy telling Max to play nice with PJ because Pete's son is swell. That might be true; but PJ gets yelled at by Pete and PJ goes over to him.
Pete basically tells him to not get too friendly with Max because he's crawling with Goof germs. Which is of course; the goofy version of cooties; making Pete look like a complete manchild. At least the Infantible Teen Titans Go Fish characters are teenagers and thus aren't full adults yet, so they come off as slightly less patheic than Pete does here. Chainsaw does her ten seconds of work by biting into the bone ham club Pete has in his hands. Pete tells PJ to "protect himself". If only Pete would "heal himself"; but I don't see that happening anything soon. Oh; and he throws Chainsaw out of the house with the ham and bone club for fun. Max climbs up the stairs with PJ following him wearing a gas mask. Even Gosalyn's wearing of one was more believable than this. Goofs don't have cooties; get over it PJ. Your father is a sexist prick! PJ and Max enter the bedroom of PJ's as Max is giddy and wondering what PJ did to get all this stuff as Max is looking at the lamenated comic books called the Toxic Offenders. PJ grabs it and Max cannot read them because Pete has ordered him to not expose it to air; or ceasing pages. Because you see; Pete is a money grubbing bastard who hates fun and anyone from the Goofy family. Max finds a model plane and throws it to PJ as PJ doesn't want to fly because one crash and he's history. As in; PJ. Max then rides on the skateboard as PJ grabs it with his foot and PJ points out that Pete doesn't want the wheels scuffed. Max asks PJ if there is anything he can play with and PJ says no. Because it's all an investment and if that investment dies; his throat gets cut since PJ did a throat silt gesture that was on his chin. Max is sitting on the rocket bed calling PJ a poor dude. But Max; investing in the future gives someone agency you see. Never mind; the one with agency in this is Pete and not PJ. There is a pillar containing a model tank still in the glass case which is because Pete doesn't want dirt in the gears. For those of you who complain about characters being way too loud in modern cartoons; Max was way too loud here. Just saying. Max asks about the sidewalk; and PJ claims it's too many leaves. Thingy is Pete Pete in bot form; there's no other explaination.
So we deduce that the only thing left is the wall and ceiling according to PJ as Max grabs some plunger darts and has an idea. At least here; the BS&P'ing of the darts makes sense since using real darts would not work for the next scene. Speaking of the next scene; we head to Pete playing with his new motorboat model which is his model property/fantasy as the motorboat now has a gun on it. There is a dummy model of Goofy (but I repeat myself) on the shoreline as Pete fires a missile and burns dummy Goofy in effgy. Speaking of people who need mental hygenie cleaning; witness Pete. We hear popping noises as Pete stops and goes into the living room, acting shocked and appalled as we see the model tank driving up the walls and ceiling, taking the paint right off the ceiling. Okay; I think we found a reason to nix that idea, Max. I'm guessing the plungers in the plunger darts are responsible for this. Max and PJ of course blow their cover seconds later cosplaying about bandits at four o'clocks. Projection, thy name is Max and PJ. Pete panics as PJ slides down the rail as Pete grabs the remote control and PJ pleads for him not to push the red button. Pete does on the side of the remote; which makes the tank land on the television set and fires a missile; causing Pete to lose his hair again. The missile bounces around making more holes in the living room as Goofy brings in a tray of tea while Peg has a pie with her. Pete asks when the moving truck is supposed to arrive. The pie is destroyed right on cue seconds before Peg asks if anything wants pie; which was funny. Cut to outside as more shooting ensues with white lights flickering in the background as Max wants to yank the batteries as the segment ends eighteen and a half minutes in. Wow; that was a really long and pointless segment since everyone is killing time due to Homer's slow moving truck.
After the commercial break; we head inside the living room with the clock ticking on Pete's fireplace. Slow pan west to Max sleeping on the sofa in bloody red covers with a pink pillow. Jump cut to PJ's bedroom as PJ is sleeping in his rocket bed in his yellow footy pj's. PJ tosses to his right as he is holding the tank in his hands. If that is punishment for causing holes in the living room; which has been magically repaired as if nothing has happened. Jump cut to Pistol's room as Chainsaw and Waffles have a staredown and growl on the bed board; but Pistol grabs them and hugs them. Aw! My heart melted. No, not really. Peg is sleeping in her room as we jump cut to the attic as Goofy is in his pj's bouncing on the cot for fun while Pete is holding a dozen folded bloody crimson red sheets as Pete drops the sheets on Goofy and blows him off because Peg ordered him to play nice. Peg's definition of nice is clear; but Pete has none because he's a jackass as Pete goes over and slides into bed. Fade to black and we hear crashing and smashing going on seconds later as we come back to Peg's bedroom as Pete pushes on Peg forcing her to do nothing but sigh and sleep. HAHA! Even she isn't giving Pete any time to waste yelling at him. So Pete walks over to the door near the attic as we hear a lot of smashing going on behind the door. Pete brings out a golf from the conveniently placed golf bag next to the wall near the door. Pete stands beside the door as Goofy opens the door and walks out. Pete swings at Goofy; but misses and knocks the golf bag over. Pete steps on the golfballs and slides on the floor for a while; all while stammering like a stupid idiot. So Goofy notices him and pulls out a chair. He sits down and proceeds to sing him a lullaby. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And what I mean by lullaby is; the most upbeat, wake you up music version of "De Camptown Ladies" ever. This is the best part of the pilot, hands down! Pete slides down the hallway and tumbles down the steps and nearly kills himself in the process as he is hurt badly since he's clearly sleeping with his eyes open. Goofy comes down and asks "Still awake?" I died. Goofy thinks he needs another chorus as Pete hears this and goes into STUPID IDIOT BLABBER MODE as he does a Scooby-Doo snow angel spot into the outside door while taking off his pj's, for no reason. Then another one into the garage as he finds his black car and crashes through the garage door backwards again. I think I know the finish now: Pete drives to find the moving truck, forces the truck to come to Goofy's new house by morning and then Pete forces Max and Goofy out of his house and plops them into his property, end episode.
So Pete drives through the countryside up and manages to find the truck; who has barely gotten away from Goofy's trailer earlier in the episode. Okay; Pete's red eyed anger is justified now. Pete cuts Homer off and yells at him to get to Spoonerville right now. Homer blows him off because he's not risking Goofy's dishes. YOU BROKE THE DISHES, YOU STUPID IDIOT! Homer; YOU JUST MADE THE LIST~! Pete jumps into the truck; throws Homer out and yells "sanity before crockery" before driving the moving truck back in the opposite direction through the countryside and into Spoonerville. It's all recycled backgrounds; so I'm not going to call it. He drives the truck and breaks some stuff before backing it up near Goofy's home. Pete runs into the house and grabs Max, Waffles and Goofy from their sleeping areas while singing about dumping goofs; before running out of the house with them. Pete runs into Goofy's house and throws them into the living room buried in their own junk. Pete wipes his hands clean of this. Called all this about seconds after Peg sealed the deal on Goofy buying the property I might add. Goofy pops up as Max hugs his skateboard and Goofy cheers like he just won the Wrestlemania main event. Goofy runs over and hugs Pete for being a life saver and a prince. Aw! My heart melted. Pete goes red eyed and into STUPID IDIOT BLABBER MODE as he shoves Goofy away and runs back into his house; closes the door and boards up the front door with the out of nowhere hammer and nails. Pete then becomes a tazmanian devil as he spins and destroys half of the living room flying into bed and into the cover. Pete blows into the paperbag to hyperventalate and sadly it doesn't kill him. Pete then stops and asks why he is flipping out on this; since he got them out of his house and first thing in the morning, he will get them out of their house. How?! They own the house now; so you cannot simply kick them out. Pete is totally dellusional; but I'm repeating myself here. Cue stereotypical evil Saturday morning cartoon laugh as Pete snuggles and then we hear Goofy yell to Max that they need to get the place into shape as we hear jackhammer noises and Pete wakes up with eyes all blood shot in shock to end the episode at 21:20. I say; end the episode because the pilot for all intent and purposes is over. The next episode is basically a filler episode for the special in 1992 to fill in the running time. This was just your basic Goof Troop episode which was a waste of time and only there to explain how Goofy and Max made it to Spoonerville and settled in next door to Pete. Outside of Goofy's lullaby spot that lead to the finish and the chasing of a jeep; it was mostly just there and inoffensive. Call it *** (60%).
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THE REVIEW LINE
Well; we finished the pilot episode and it was good; but no where near the great pilots that started with Gummi Bears. It was on the bottom with The Wuzzles and Fluppy Dogs. The Wuzzles and Fluppy Dogs were mostly bad because of poor execution, a mess of logic breaks and a lot of whining. Goof Troop has a much different problem that might be worse because Wuzzles/Fluppy Dogs did have a lot of exciting moments that they proceeded to screw up badly. Goof Troop didn't have a lot of bad logic or even execution; but it felt like an eleven minute episode stretched out to 22 minutes, which is the story of this show. The animation was great; but the story felt like they were just going through the motions and then just have Goofy do comedy, which he was great at. This show doesn't allow me to feel for the other characters outside of Goofy and Pete; so I don't really care about them. Pistol I think is the closest to making me care about her and Peg is proving that she's no Rebecca Cunningham. And that's the gist of this: This show is basically all about Goofy and this pilot hasn't really convinced me otherwise. I love Goofy and he was awesome here; but the other characters are just there to suck. Homer at least had a gimmick; but not much else. This episode felt it was written just to explain how Goofy and Max got to Spoonerville and to hell with writing a compelling story about the other characters who will be forced to pull their own weight once Goofy's awesomeness starts to wear off. I wasn't expecting Plunder and L:ightning (because goodness knows only Awakening and Treasure Of The Golden Sun can get even close to that epic pilot) in the least; but this was a disappointment as a pilot. Goofy was funny; but no one else was. So next up is basically the second half which you could put in any order and it would still be a standalone episode as Pete and Goofy force Max and PJ to never see each other again. Geez; where have I seen this threat before? Oh yeah; the Battletoads pilot. So....
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.