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And Baby Makes Three
Reviewed: 04/09/2017
Well; PJ Is The Size Of Two Babies At Least!
Anyone who has read my reviews before has noticed how much I sing the praises of one Libby/Elizabeth Hinson as a writer. When she writes on a DTVA show regardless of it's quality, it's like a breath of fresh air after spending ten weeks in an outhouse with Dusty Rhodes and his ass. So; what was Libby Hinson's plan for this show as a writer: Let's see: This show has Pete scheming 90% of the time. I am a pathos writer. So; I'm going to do a pathos episode and have PJ, Max, and Pistol scheme on Pete because there are rumors that Peg is having a baby and they will be ignored; which trust me, 90% of kids whose parents have a baby can relate to instantly. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Libby Hinson. The story was edited by Karl Geurs. The animation was provided by Walt Disney Animation Australia, PTY, Limited.
We begin this one with tutti-fruiti colors on the title and a sky shot of the properties while we see PJ with a lawnmower. Oh; and he cannot start the mower either. Geez; maybe there is something to these goof cooties Pete is talking about. This needs to be researched further. Or not. The mower cord snaps and PJ takes a bump on his ass off-screen. The cord wraps around his face as Pete is yelling at PJ off-screen. PJ is channeling Pete in his grumbling about buying a break as Pete continues to yell at PJ. PJ's expressions look like a Pete clone by the way. PJ walks over to the lawnmower and replaces the cord and starts it up again. PJ teases yelling at it again; but the lawnmower starts and PJ is forced to hang on again. The lawnmower runs stage left as we jump cut to inside a room which appears to be Peg's office. Peg is at a desk looking at a couple of pictures in red, one of them looks like a generic castle. Peg goes on about some home named the Minx Mansion as she wants to do a commission on that thing. The closeup of the castle looks like a cyan blue mansion and Peg's eyes are crystal blue as well, which is awkward. Peg claims that if she could gain money from this; she would buy Pistol a doll house, a video arcade for PJ and a really big boat for Pete. Let me guess; a really big boat so Pete doesn't have to sleep in the doghouse anymore when he's bad, he can sleep in the boat anytime. Then we get a dirty question from Pete: We hear crashing and Pete says and I quote: "Have you seen my lug nuts?" Peg's reaction looks like she wants to kill someone as she says: "The Titanic". Another thing of note: This is one of the few times in DTVA where a female character (and even rarer, a main female character) does not appear flat chested. Peg tells Pete to check under the sprocket wrench collection. The phone rings and Peg answers it; despite not seeing a phone on the desk when we first saw Peg at her desk. Peg's company name is called "Peg-O-My-Heart-Realty". Is she running a dating service on the side there? Lots of mumbling on the phone ensues; but Peg is delighted because someone is interested in the Minx Mansion. As she says this; she is now flat chested again. Sigh.
Peg is giddy as she can be and wants to meet the would be buyer there in fifteen minutes flat. Peg hangs up and then is dancing like she just won the lottery and the Wrestlemania main event. Scene change to Peg wearing almost the same outfit that Rebecca was going to wear in TaleSpin before they made her over. You know what; I was wrong. I thought Rebecca's outfits were changed due to sexism, (although I'm certain everyone was relieved when they were changed) it was not to date the show after all. Peg walks out and hugs PJ who was hanging onto the lawnmower complete with grass clippings on everyone. Peg also kisses the grass clipping on the way out too; causing her to have a grass mustache and beard as she has got a big surprise for him and the kids. Jump cut to Pete in the garage building something and reading stupid instructions as Peg comes in to inform him that she's selling the Taj Mahal. You know Peg; if you are going to lie good, make sure your lie sounds believable. Peg comes in and kisses Pete to transfer the full on beard to Pete before leaving. Pete is confusing himself as Peg tells him that he's got a big surprise for him as well. Pete mumbles as we cut to a sky shot of PJ at the front raking the lawn which has a maze like cut there. Another logic break: Far shot: flat. Closeup shot: A hill of grass clippings are shown as PJ proclaims that he only has seven more summers until he's grown up and free of this grind. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I like PJ; but he doesn't have the two clicks in the making of a clue here. PJ plops onto the hill and calculates that this is 366 weeks and 2,556 days. Get over yourself, PJ; it's only seven years. It's not like when Lenny is suffering or anything. Man; 1990's kids are such wimps. This leads to Pete yelling at PJ off-screen yet about finishing up chores. PJ brings out a sheet of paper and reads it. PJ yells back that he is almost done and has two more chores left, which is to scrub the pool with a toothbrush and pick dog hairs out of carpet with tweezers. Those don't really offend PJ; until the last one which is to play with Pistol in which he panics. PJ calls himself a fedual serf disguised as the family son. HA!
PJ salutes and is dripping with sarcasm, although I'm certain he's also dripping something else as we scene change to Pistol's room as PJ is dressed as....BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The scariest thing about this is; PJ is a much more funnier clown than the clown in (Infantible) Teen Titans GO (Fish)! PJ is juggling a lot of balls. Oh wait...while standing on a small podium while Pistol is riding on her tricycle around them and a bunch of stuffed animals, while wearing a pink tutu. Why she needed to wear that outfit is a mystery to me. Pistol rides and calls this the funiest thing ever. I'm shocked Molly didn't have Kit do this in TaleSpin actually. PJ calls it almost as fun as degunking the gutters. PJ drops his balls. Oh wait...and then bends over. Oh wait...POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Okay; he ripped his pants as well. We get a subtle underwear shot and a not subtle rip in the pants as Pistol drags PJ like a cave man after he knocked out a cave woman and dragged her to the cave. Only Pistol sits him down for a tea party instead of caveman doing horrible things to her. The chair of course breaks; so Pistol drags PJ and pushes him into the doll house literally. PJ is just bored now about this game of "Dolly-Dolly? Where's My Dolly?". I'm hoping they play Sibling Rivalry next; just for me to get a cheap shot in. The doll house shatters and crumbles. Pistol has the Gruffi pose on (as well as a banana yellow shirt) and claims that he was a lot more fun when he was a lot littler. Huh; but when he was littler, Pistol was barely born. PJ asks the obvious here as Pistol would love to have a tiny little brother to play with. PJ likes this and pets Pistol (Must...resist...Gidget...joke) saying that if she asks Pete about it; she might get one. Pistol thanks PJ and hugs him before exiting stage left. PJ is relieved as it's one down and then he checks his paper and there's fifty to go. Wait; wasn't there two more jobs left? Shouldn't this be moved to before he mowed the lawn, like at the beginning of the episode? I hope Libby doesn't stoop to this show's low anymore; because that would give Libby a reputation she doesn't deserve to have. PJ wants to be saved; and he's hosed anyway.
Jump cut to Pete continuing to put together something that looks like a Rube-Goldbergish style iron cage. I swear that is what he is making. In comes Pistol looking all cute asking for a little brother, while trying to act like she's not bugging him. Pete mumbles through this and says yes to it anyway without him noticing and she can have it as soon as Peg gets home. Pete continues to work as Pistol thanks him, jumps on him and kisses him in that order. Pistol jumps off and bails stage right as Pete puts something through the slot; and the whole project crumbles like a Warner Brother character about to fall into a pit. Pete groans loudly as we head outside to the backyard with Pistol hopping onto the diving board of the pool while PJ is scrubbing the pool with a toothbrush. Pistol informs PJ that Pete has accepted her request to bring in a little brother. PJ gives up and accuses Pistol of joking and Pistol claims that she is not and she's spitting a lot during this for no reason. This baby brother thing is happening when Peg comes home. PJ then gets Peg's echoy voice stating the big surprise as PJ flops out of the pool and calls the baby brother a slob. Pistol corrects him, calling him a littler slob. PJ rips the paper and proclaims that this little brother is perfect to get out of chores. Ummm; I don't think this is how it works, PJ. PJ is so happy that he runs up to the treehouse in Max's backyard as we see Max in the treehouse reading a blue covered book. PJ is so giddy that he needs to be slugged for his own good. Max doesn't care about this, claiming that they are letting him see a Brass Knuckleheads concert. Ironically; this is band that does exist in Nova Scotia. PJ noogies Max's head and then proclaims that they are giving him a first class ticket to freedom. Apparently; Brass Knuckleheads is giving away a free little brother. Isn't that human trafficking? I call BS on that one, PJ. I'm shocked Max isn't calling this one out. PJ flops onto a mattress and acts like Pete at eleven years old. I think. He might have been nine depending on the location. Max calls this way cool; and then catches himself and calls it way uncool. Yeah; because PJ is trying to get out of his responsibilies. That's way uncool, right?
Max paces around as PJ talks about which chores to give first. You can just tell Pete's toxic influence has rubbed off on PJ now after years of being Pete's son. Max thankfully grabs PJ and gets in his face to stop this stupidity as PJ is like "what?" and Max responds by saying "Freddie Finkelstein!" PJ asks about him and then recoils in total shock and appallment. Now PJ and Max are pacing around; because you see, Freddie Finkelstein had a baby and that baby took center stage. First of all; this would have been better if Freddie Finkelstein was a real character, or barring that, a Disney character from the past who had this happen to him. Neither exists; so I have no idea what they are talking about, other than the guise of it being that the baby overshadows the kids and the parents ignore Freddie. Pete of course is so insecure that he'll be aced out like Freddie was. To be fair; this plot line makes sense because many kids when a newcomer comes out do feel concerned that they will no longer be taken seriously and shoved off in favor of the baby. But that usually happens when the baby is actually around, not before they even see him. Of course; there is no baby brother coming, but PJ is already certain that he's screwed since Pistol already likes the baby brother more. Although PJ almost never plays with Pistol, so why should Pistol care about PJ. This is one of the few plots that wouldn't work in TaleSpin with Kit being the odd boy out so to speak; simply because Kit has been alone for so long as an orphan runaway that being ignored would have him say: "So what else is new?" and he's so used to it by now. Besides; he understands the responsibilty Rebecca would have because Rebecca is already taking care of Molly. Max and PJ plop on the mattress talking about the "consequences" (which there are none, since there is no brother forthcoming) of this. Half of the Christmas presents is generous since there would be FIVE people getting gifts in that setup; so it should be one-fifth. Max protests this outrage because only PJ does all the chores in that household. Max is motivating PJ into being strong and take down the dweeb in diapers, so even he has an idea how this works.
Max orders PJ to prove his stake in being Pete's number one son as PJ growls in such a lame fashion that being number two might not be so bad. PJ and Max jump down the treehouse on a rope acting like complete fools and then run in as Max produces an out of nowhere basket as PJ plucks weeds and Max catches them. You know; if you want to prove yourself as the alpha boy (oh god, I feel dirty now); then do this without Max then. Put the basket in the middle of the backyard and then do what you were doing there. Easy. Ditto with white washing...ERRRR..I mean painting the fence white. Ditto painting the window...ERRR...I mean, washing the windows while on a ladder being towed on a wagon by Max. So we jump cut to a shot of the backyard sparkling as Max and PJ look on beaming as Pete is yelling for someone to find his 5/8th socket wrench. PJ notices Pete walking away as Pete ignores PJ calling it great and asks where his drill press is. Now normally; this is Pete's personality, so I wouldn't put it past him to say something like this. However; PJ scratches his head as if he thinks Pete is ignoring him because of some "baby" coming instead of Pete being Pete. So we HIT THE MONTAGE~! Again! PJ irons clothes, washes Pete's car, trims the hedges while wearing vampire fangs (what a cad PJ is?) making them into romancized statues of Pete of course. PJ loses the vampire fangs on the next shot as he calls for Pete to look at this and of course, Pete is yelling at PJ asking for his captain's hat. This causes PJ to fall back and faint dead away. HAHA! Yes; he fell off the ladder and he wasn't drinking or dinking, honest! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Oh; and even though he only fell eight feet, the bump was a subtle version of a bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON. Max comes in to console PJ as PJ asks what does he have to do to be a top banana around here? Ummm; you have to be tall, musclar and have a full head of hair. Oh wait; that's WWE. Finally; at nearly the ten minute mark, Goofy arrives impressed by PJ's work. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. From GOOFY of all people.
Max explains that he has to do it because there is a new baby coming. Goofy is amazed as he calls it the pitter-patter of another Pete. If only Goofy, if only. Knowing Goofy; I'm certain that if he had another child, he would be dragging Max into it instead of ignoring him like Pete does even when Pete isn't having a baby. Goofy praises PJ's work because it's all spiffed up for the new arrival. HAHA! Don't you just love it when the idiot points out the obvious flaw in PJ's plan. All PJ did was make the baby's job of distracting the adults and Pistol a lot easier now. Goofy bails to congratulate Pete as Max tries to explain this; but no dice. Jump cut to Pete designing the worst speedboat ever, which is hilarious considering that Peg's present for him is a giant ass boat. Pete is screwing with the steering wheel. See what I did there? In comes Goofy to congratulate Pete on the new addition. Goofy leans on the motorboat side and calls Pete, Dad. Pete smacks him for that one and orders him not to touch her because she's not ready yet. Goofy asks if the baby is female as Pete claims that all boats are shes. I've already addressed this sexism in Plunder and Lightning, but I'm tired of every object being called a "she". At worst; it proves that the person is sexist, at best, it proves that the person has no life and needs to get out of his echo chamber. Objects can be "he"; it's okay Pete. Goofy waves it off anyway because he's referring to the baby Peg is having. Pete is shocked and then asks if he has boat polish in his ears, or did Goofy say Peg is having a baby? Now this is a misunderstanding plot I can get behind, as long as it makes Pete look paranoid. Goofy asks if Peg told her and Pete proclaims that she did claim that she was returning home with a big surprise and then catches himself and goes nuts running outside wanting everything to be ready including painting the house, right in front of PJ and Max. Pete is also riding a Rube-Goldbergian pogo stick during this. HAHA! Pete runs into the house yelling as PJ's expression is priceless on that one to end the segment eleven minutes in as PJ is now pond scum. Yip; Libby is writing this episode now. Great start so far.
After the commercial break; we head back into Pete's garage as Pete asks why doesn't anyone tell him these things, even though it was GOOFY who just did. See PJ; Pete was only being Pete when he was ignoring you. How would a baby not existing make him any different? Pete is dancing around in a panic and falls on his ass asking what he is going to do three times. He sounds like Wanda Li from the Magic School Bus; which Libby Hinson has also wrote episodes for. Goofy's response is classic: You feed them, you burp them, you sing them a lullaby (but not Home Is Where The Heart Is of course; because that song is so wrong) and put them to sleep in the nursery. Good thing he said nursery there; because if he didn't, you would think he meant "kill the little bastard"! Pete admits that is a good point and then gets in Goofy's face because they have no nursery. I am so loving this episode so far. Pete shakes Goofy as Goofy basically says that Pete can build one before Peg gets home. Oh this should be fun to mock as Pete drops Goofy and goes to the bench to find his tool calling this a great idea; while showing more underwear garments than Molly Cunningham ever did in this scene. Pete is throwing stuff out like a Wuzzle and somehow the bench has gained the powers of Eleroo's pouch. Goofy carries stuff and watches on as Pete panics. Goofy gets dropped by the world's tinest safe; which would have been funnier if that safe was half of the size it was in this scene. Jump cut to PJ and Max sitting on the rocket bed sulking. Max then says that maybe they are targeting the wrong audience as PJ complains about Max figuring this out after eighty-five gallons of sweat. SHAD UP PJ~! You lying weasel. Max's Krackpotkin plan is basically to impress Pistol and her G-rated life. Max has the Gruffi pose on as Max wants PJ to be all the playmate Pistol wants. PJ is not liking this at all as Max proclaims that PJ is going to stake out his brotherly terrority even if it kills him.
Scene change to PJ in Pistol's room wearing yellow footy PJ's and fly wings while Pistol is wrapping pink skipping rope all over PJ and having a great time. PJ is panicking and screaming for help and there is none forthcoming. Never knew Molly had so much restraint. They are playing "Spider & The Fly" as Pistol pulls on the rope and whirlwinds PJ like the Tazmanian Devil. PJ is in full moron Pete mode as Max shakes his head at the door. PJ drops on his back in front of Max as Pistol jumps on PJ's belly giggling. Pistol bounces up and down and shows a glorified shot of her panties on the way up. And we accuse anime of this nonsense? She wants PJ to do it again of course. PJ is screaming and he cannot take it anymore. Cue Yuuchi and his amazing headache selling spot from Chargeman Ken. PJ goes on a triade about giving up and it wouldn't matter if he joined the foreign legion, change his age as even Pistol is asking what the hell is wrong here. In comes Max proclaiming that he's a broken boy. Oh sod off Max! You ablest...Oh wait; PJ really is broken down. He tilts Pistol's head as Max sounds like someone who is doing the morality play on her because PJ is only mortal. Yeah; convenient for the "alpha male" to be weak after months of acting strong. Maybe if you would stop acting like gods and start acting like a mortal; then I could give some sympathy to thee. BS&P alert: If you poke him with crayons, will he not bleed? The answer is that he will not bleed because crayons are not hard enough to poke and draw blood. Coloring pencils on the other hand... Max does an absolute guilt trip on Pistol for not caring about his big brother; which is hilarious considering that Max is an only child. Pistol is in tears as Max is shaming her basically and then Max throws PJ away like a Kleenex. Why are they still friends, again? Pistol states that she still loves you and that's real, BRUTHA~! I believe her actually. Even before this BS with Max. Pistol consoles PJ and claims that it might not be a boy. Wait; what? Wasn't Pistol the one who wanted a boy? PJ is shocked by this as Max is surprised as they get up and slap skin anyway. HAHA! Insecurity? What's that?
So they do-see-do around saying the day is saved, thanks to the Secure Pistols. Oh man; I can just hear the drops and dibs on the band name for that one. And then they stop with Max on top of PJ; realizing that this is a bad idea as a drum is drumming in the background. Because you see, if it is a girl than Pistol will be the one who gets ignored by the adults. Geez Max, I didn't know parents with newcomers could stoop to such child abuse such as sleeping in the basement with the spiders, mold and fungus. And if there is mold; shouldn't Pete's house be evacated or something right now? Pistol is of course blowing this off because when it comes to babes, she's number one around here. So Peg is number two in this family? Jeepers! So in comes Goofy and Pete with a ladder and various paint cans, wallpaper paste, brushes, a new sink and even a concrete driller. Why do they need a concrete driller is a mystery to me, outside of defaulting that he did it to be Goofy. Pistol is asking what the deal is and I don't blame her. Why does Goofy need a concrete driller? Goofy is reading a book proclaiming that they are re-modeling her room for the baby. Uh-oh! Apparently; Goofy is reading a book from Doctor Liverwurst on the Psychology of Nursery Decor. And to think; Doctor Liverwurst might be a better executed quack doctor than Mike Adams ever will be. Ponder that for a moment. Pistol stammers a lot of buts in one sentence and she's not being hyper here. She asks where she is sleeping and Goofy claims that Pete said something about sharing PJ's room. Of course! PJ is not happy about that one, either. So then the entire room is changed completely and the adults might as well have been teleported into another room by the looks of it. Bad form there, animators. Also; Goofy's book as it's cover changed from yellow to red now. Goofy is stirring the glue in the bucket while Pete is nailing a really awkward looking crib with wooden fence wood and chains hanging from the ceiling. Geez; does Pete think this baby is a harden criminal or something? Must be Libby's wacky brain working overtime here. Case in point: Goofy claims that the color of the decor can raise the IQ of a baby by 140!
That is so pure unadultered BS that it has to be Libby Hinson writing this because I can believe that in that fantasy world, actually. Goofy takes the bucket and splashes Pete with pea green color which causes Pete to fly into the wall and stick to said wall. Goofy comes over and wallpapers Pete with orange solid wallpaper. HAHA! He claims that the baby is going to be a rocket scientist as we jump cut to the front door with the kids sulking. They are doomed, DOOMED I say! Nope; there is only one entity in reality that will always be doomed. Hint: It's mascot is an Italian plumber who is selling a portable/console/car game system hybrid that might be more over than Wii and DS combined when all is said and done. Pistol claims that she was extra good on the Christmas presents this year (Riiigggghhhttt!) and then gets up and proclaims that she is not going to stand for this two-bit, no talent (HA! That's too easy to mock!), diaper-soiling cramper cramp their lifestyles. Ageist bigot, the answer is yes you will! Even if the baby doesn't exist. PJ answers: "Probably." Yip. Pistol has a Krackpotkin plan in mind and the three kids all slap skin at the same time as we return to the new nursery as the crib is now raised about four feet above the floor. Why? Why not? The walls are painted with rainbows, a moon with a face, Saturn planets and a lot of stars. No pentacles, sadly as Goofy rushes in with the WOODEN GRINDER OF STUPIDITY and knocks over a ladder and crashes off-screen. Somehow; we pan over to see Pete on his ass on the floor with a bucket of cyan blue paint on his head. Pete plucks the bucket off his head and then the doorbell rings; just as Pete cans the sandpaper machine. HA! The sand grinder is shaking inside as Pete slams Goofy on the bucket and bails to answer the door. The redneck chuckle is much funnier with this anyway as we jump cut to Pete already with the door opened and looking around. He looks down and notices a giant basket wrapped in a pink cloth with a note attached to it. Pete opens the basket and reads the note which claims to be from Peg informing Pete that the baby came a little early.
Now; anyone with any experience in children knows that babies do not leave the hospital the instant they are born. I recall it usually takes a week or two of hospitalization for the mother and the child before they are sent home. Since in storyline; it hasn't even been a full day, this reeks of a massive setup on the kids part. And you know what; I approve of this because it's high time Pete felt what it's like to be schemed out like he does in almost every episode in this series I have seen thus far and many more to come. This is so great as Pete is a little suspious about someone closing the deal. As if Peg was implying that she had sex with another man to get said baby; and was cheating on Pete. And really; who could blame Peg at this point; after all the bullcrap Pete has put everyone in this family through. Pete proclaims that he don't need a baby and has one coming; and he goes into the house and slams the door. Why am I not surprised by Pete's reaction to this? Oh wait; he reopens the door and panics as he sees PJ dressed up like the fattest baby you ever did see. He might as well have been Scrooge McDuck from Super Ducktales; only much more believable due to PJ's age. PJ sucks his thumb and wiggles his toes as we get the "Rock-a-bye Baby" song playing in the background. PJ throws a raspberry; which is a clear sign of a dead giveaway that it's PJ; but of course Pete buys into this hook, line and sinker. This ends the segment nearly sixteen minutes in. Oh; this is going to be fun to mock; I assure thee. Pete is finally going to get his for scheming everyone in this family and Goofy's as well. Outside of some obvious animation mistakes and a few logic breaks, this episode is awesome.
After the commercial break; we head into Pete's house with Pete carrying Baby PJ (speaking of dibs on band names...) by the basket into said house. Pete is struggling with this because it was a big surprise just like Peg said. HAHA! Jump cut to Pistol sliding down a railing and is now giddy about this newcomer to the Pete family as Max follows her in kind. Pistol proceeds to pull on PJ's face and calls him a little bugger. Which is a mild swear word on the same level as damn in the UK, believe it or not. Pete claims that it looks like PJ when he was a cute baby. OUCH indeed, PJ! So Pete attempts the most devastating move in all of DTVA; but PJ no sells and bites him on the finger. Good; I'm glad they buried that stupid move. Pete sells red plusing thumb as Max sarcastically claims that the baby is hungry. Oh and Max elbows Pistol in response. No male on female contact? What no male on female contact? Pistol gets it and wants to give PJ some chow as Pete struggles to lift up the basket as he wants to go into the kitchen; but the redneck scream of death beckons; which means the sand grinder has won his war with Goofy and the bucket. Pete drops the basket and goes upstairs to find Goofy and the kids laugh when his back is turned. So am I; I just love how Pete is finally getting his after all the schemes he pulled on everyone. So we get to waste a lot of time with Pete chasing Goofy and the bucket of a sand grinder in Pistol's/the new nursery room. In comes Pistol claiming that the baby is really doing it as Pete panics on cue and runs out of the bedroom (after being squashed behind a door for no reason looking concussed) into the kitchen and the kitchen is a complete mess. Even big babies couldn't make this big of a mess that didn't involve poop as we jump cut to PJ on the floor eating a whole pizza. Somehow; PJ has a full pizza as Pete gets into his face and we have a tug of war pizza; showing the awesome punching down powers of Pete for all to see. Pete then takes the basket with PJ (and of course; his punching down gives him the strength to handle the basket with PJ in it now) and goes out allowing PJ to throw the pizza in his kisser. HAHA!
The kids all giggle on cue from the basket to behind the bushes. Then they blow their cover and walk in as we scene change to Pete putting PJ on an out of nowhere see-saw with horses as the handles. Goofy shouts some more as Pete panics again and runs back to help Goofy with the strampeding bucket/sand grinder some more; since we heard glass shattering in a room with no glass other than the window. Pete of course opens the door and actually does the smart thing way too late: unplug the damn thing. It took you that long to figure it out? Worse; this is one of the few times I wish they didn't figure this out because Goofy stampeding on a bucket sand grinder is hilarious. Of course; the sand grinder goes through the floor and Goofy free falls. Of course; Pete forgets to let go of the cord and he goes through the floor; but gets stuck because Pete is too fat. Pete pops himself from the thing as Goofy gets the bucket on his head. Pete reels him in and blows off this lousy day. Goofy then notices Baby PJ outside bouncing and it has a radio transmitter device in it's hands. We discover that it's bouncing off the giant sattelite dish while Max is mock calling Pete on this moment. Pete panics as we get a classic Mighty Ducks moment in Goof Troop: Pete bails stage left even though the door is stage right. Geez; the assembly animation is truly showing here as Goofy free falls through the ceiling again of course. Jump cut to Pistol watching PJ do cannon balls on the sattelite dish as Pistol is so "happy" this is happening. Pete talks in knots and then demands Baby PJ come down from there and PJ is happy to come in and literally squash Pete so much that he has been planted deep into the earth. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was even funnier than when Bushroot literally planted Drake into a flower pot. I never want this entertainment to end; even though I know it will. PJ twinkle toes and it sounds like they did a peeing metaphor with this before PJ bails stage left. Pete pops himself out and wipes his body clean blowing off the baby, claiming that PJ wasn't this bad. See; this proves memories are not infallable. Pistol is really laying this thing on thick for my entertainment.
Max then comes in with a notepad and a cordless phone informing Pete that PJ is at the store buying a year's supply of baby products and wants Pete to either pay for it; or to ask Peg for the $1270. That sounds low balled to me. According to a 2010 USDA report; the average is around $12,000 a year. I'm guessing at 60% a decade before this (according to a newspaper), it was $7000 a year. So in 1990; it would be around $4000; so yeah, low balled. Pete gasps in horror anyway and runs back inside because the nursery isn't finished yet and Peg's almost home. Pete runs into the nursery and effectively buries Goofy by hammering and nailing wood to cover up the floor. Goofy bounces off rungs of ladder and breaks them as he heads onto the floor. That looked BS&P'ed to me as Pete puts a rainbow style rug on the floor as Pete is painting the side wall cyan blue with a paintbrush. Max calls for Pete again to inform us that PJ is taking the engine out of his car. Oh come on now; this proves it's PJ! I betcha Pete will not notice the implausibility of a baby managed to take out an entire engine like he didn't notice the huge mess in the kitchen that most babies couldn't pull off unless it was covered in poop. Pete bites bristles on paintbrush and he better hope that paint is non-toxic, although with Pete around, could you really tell? Pete runs out into the front door and it's cartoon panic time as PJ is hammering the front engine of Pete's car. Why did PJ need the carjack on this one? PJ pounds the car into the pavement as Pete comes in and calls him a bad baby. Gosh; I hope he spanks Baby PJ; just so I can use the evidence in his trial for being a child abuser and the reason why Donald Trump became president. PJ instantly is in tears and does the most crying and sobbing that he has ever done in this series. Pete grabs PJ by the neck and is not thrilled about this at all. To Pete: Sod off and LIKE IT! Jump cut to Goofy in the house with a bucket on his head talking about the woo of Doctor Liverwrust which claims that early signs of mechanical aptitude ought to be encouraged. Which is fair to say; but this implies that the baby is real and not someone dressed up as one. So, it's still quackery.
Goofy heads outside and he and Pete have a meeting of the minds. And it wasn't at the hospital; although Baby PJ may soon need one because he goes flying into the air and where he lands, do I care? Pete acts like an asshole of course as PJ bails into the garage with the kids. Max is pushing PJ into the boat as PJ asks Pistol if they are coming. Pistol thinks he's kidding. I don't think he is as the two stupid idiot, but funny for a change adults get up. Pete somehow panics on cue and runs while carrying Goofy using his ankle to bring Goofy with him via the bucket on Goofy's head. You got all that? How did Pete know PJ was going into the boat? Goofy claims that Pete has a nautical bent. You don't say?! Pete goes into the garage and Baby PJ is in the new boat with a sailor's cap on. Awwww! My heart melted. PJ plays with the WHEEL OF MORALITY and breaks the fin off in the process. I can see why Peg wanted to buy him a new boat instead of having him build one. Pete panics and runs in. Pete jumps onto the boat and trips as PJ bounces out of the boat. This somehow causes the engines to start. Motorboat rides and ramps off the front hood of Pete's car in a really neat visual and the motorboat gets stuck in a tree. The only thing missing in this was Letoa the Woodsprite coming out and blowing them off for having it stuck in her tree. Tree bounces motorboat back over Pete's house as PJ amuses us with a decent baby voice as he says his first word "birdy". Awesome! Motorboat drops into the swimming pool and goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) and it destroys the swimming pool. Motorboat crashes into the wall and somehow lands perfectly back on the wooden supports in the garage. How about THAT?! Sadly; the supports break anyway so it is not the table. A propeller came loose as PJ and Max walk in and somehow, PJ has changed into regular clothes as Pete and Goofy are knocked silly. PJ and Max gently smack their fathers to wake them up. Pete wakes up and they are tied up (sort of) as Pete takes the captain's hat and whacks Goofy with it protesting this outrage; because it's NEVER Pete's fault.
Goofy then asks the obvious question: "Isn't the baby a he?" Pete stops on cue and then starts to panic yet again. The kids ask "what baby?" as Pete stammers and is having a nervous breakdown as Pistol claims that this was all a dream. Damn; I wish it was not; but Libby only has twenty two minutes to work with; so there you go. Pete does the routine of disbelief because it looked so real. Well; it was almost real Pete as Pete finally is glad that he has only Pistol and PJ as kids as he embraces them and as this is going on, Pistol and PJ slap skin. So this leave just the ending now as Peg comes in calling for Pete as Peg brings out a basket containing a blue blanket and ribbon. Pete instantly thinks he's in a Spongebob SquarePants version of a dream and panics on cue and runs out of the garage, whirlwinds Peg as the basket flies into the air and the two male adults are off and out of sight. One of them willfully and the other one unwillfully screaming for help. PJ grabs the basket and he and Pistol gulp on cue. Peg opens the basket asking what is eating Pete as we discover that it's flower necklaces because they are all going to Hawaii BABEE for the rest of their lives...ERRR...really a couple of weeks. Good one Libby; good one. No writer on this show would have noticed that. Peg brings out the travel guide for fun as they are booked at the Kona Mona Hula-Hula Poi Poi and the kids instantly sigh on cue. Peg is giddy about this as we see the kids all fainted with no bumping whatsoever. Something tells me the original ending was supposed to be a fainting hit the ground sound instead as PJ is speaking gibberish and concussed on cue at the same time as we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:10. This is the best episode of the series bar none, and that means the first perfect episode at ***** (100%). Libby Hinson's still got it. Sadly; Bonkers would be her last DTVA episode before leaving; which does make me sad.
THE REVIEW LINE
I am officially convinced that Libby Hinson can make any DTVA show look good; after this episode. She got to tell the story that I think most kids wanted to tell and it was funny and even well written to the point where I literally didn't want the entertainment to stop. Even the filler with Goofy was entertaining. While it's not as heartful as many of her TaleSpin episodes; it was on par with Ransom Of The Red Chimp in terms of hilarious; because she wrote an episode that reverse the roles of the Pete family. The kids got to play Pete while Pete played victim and it was sold to the hilt that I didn't want the episode to end; but it had to. Yes; this is a misunderstanding episode; but I understood it because many kids do feel this way about new borns coming into the world; and it was believable in feeling while at the same time being so over the top during the third act that it made the whole misunderstanding funny and enjoyable. There were a number of animation mistakes and one or two logic breaks here and there; but the writing and characters more than made up for them. Not much to say other than what I have said in the rant; I think this is the best episode of the series, and I recommend you check this one out, most so the third act with baby PJ and Pete. Sadly; Pete is a jackass with no empathy or self-awareness, so he'll never learn his lesson. It's also great to see a great episode that only uses the main characters and no one else. There was only one five second moment with Peg on the phone; but it was audio only. Last up for Goof Troop on disc two is Big City Blues; which has a tough act to follow and I don't see it topping this episode. So....
Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.