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Mrs. Spoonerville
Reviewed: 03/28/2017
Pete VS Goofy To Gain $3000 Of Nothing!
Well; Pete has another scheme on his hands in order to screw Goofy: Slobbish Pete plays Mr. Clean in order to win a house cleaning contest against Goofy. Because of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Might as well get this one over with. How does this episode fare?! Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Steve Cuden and the story is edited by Carter Crocker. The animation was provided by Wang Film Productions.
We begin this one in front of Goofy's house with red/yellow colored title and obvious public domain music. Pan up to the windows as Goofy comes down on a zip lane harness with a pink sponge and bucket washing windows. Goofy bounces up above windows and hums the worst tune ever. Bounce again and it's wiper blades time for the windows as Goofy screws up the worst tune ever. He's not even trying to make this into a song. So we zoom out and pan west to Pete's house as Pete is on the roof fixing a small sattelite dish. Wait; I thought the dish was on the ground? We hear Peg yelling at Pete to take out the garbage since it's garbage day. Please do not encourage the writers today, Peg; I'm not in the mood. Pete of course lies and then catches himself as Peg comes out with a small sack, mad. Peg sees Goofy bouncing and tying himself into the most awkward curifix position in history as shown at 1:42 of the DVD. Bucket drops as it hits the rake; causing Waffles to somehow fly into the air and land on Pete's back. Pete gets up and has to sell it like he loses his balance; but it's impossible to take this seriously. Waffles screeches and claws on Pete's back as Pete sways, as Waffles somehow gets off Pete, Pete slides down the roof and destroys the dish in the process. Pete falls in trash can with dish on head as Peg blows him off because he's not helpful around the house like Goofy is. Goofy somehow got out of his curfix position in order to do the upside down straight jacket position and talk about his clean windows that he can see through them. Pete struggles to get out of the trash can and complains; because he's a lazy gasbag who schemes and wants to ruin Goofy's life. That would be what Pete says; if he was an honest assbag; but he's not. Peg blows him off and basically tells him to start helping out more. You know Peg; if you want him to sell, there should be a consequence to it if Pete doesn't do the deed. There wasn't. She just walks away as Pete complains about his Sputnik-2 dish being destroyed. Cry me a river; you assbag! I should have known you were in cahoots with those stupid communists!
Speaking of destroyed; witness the logic in this scene: Goofy was in the curifix position in one shot; then the upside down straightjacket shot; and now he's pulling on ropes for no reason. So Goofy bow and arrows himself and crashes into the trash can which squashes Pete in the process. Goofy is confused, which I say "join the club" and Pete screams causing Goofy to pop out. Pete squeezes out and accuses Goofy of making him look bad in front of Peg. That is so Donald Trumpish it isn't funny. I don't think Goofy needs to help Peg make you look bad in any way, gasbag! Goofy then invokes the best retort of all time: Oh no, Petey; you was doing just fine by yourself. Sadly; this retort is only going to set Pete's machine gun to kill now. Goofy then explains that he was refining his skills for the Mrs. Spoonerville Society's Semi-bi-annual Househelper Contest! See; if a contest like this can be for men; why can't women be soliders or football players or even aliens from....Okay; I won't play that joke. POW! OUCH! Ummmmm... Pete of course is a sexist assbag and calls the contest boneheaded and moronic and a total complete waste of time. Yeah; because taking care of yourself is totally boneheaded and moronic. The projection is really thick in these manplaining parts. Goofy does admit that the competition is tough as Pete continues to taunt him some more on the grand prize as Goofy admits that the new pair of tweezers was last year's prize. Yeah; that sucked. So it's no surprise that the contest is raising the incentive to enter this time with a weed whacker, salad maker (wonder if it comes with actual words?), nose hair trimmer and $3000. Pete blows it off and then the dreaded dollar signs in eyes with cash register ding forces Pete to catch himself. Pete grabs Goofy and asks about the $3000 and Goofy claims that it is, but he wasn't really listening. So I call shenagins on this. Pete loves this because he can buy 350 channel satellite dish with a can opener. Yawn. Speaking of yawn; since when did Pete gain a workers belt with sleeve containing a screwdriver and wire cutters?
So we head inside PJ's room as Pete is destroying PJ's rocket bed, or at the very least, the pillows, mattress and white blanket. Peg demands answers to this outrage as Pete claims that he's trying to help out more around the house as he struggles and complains about the starch in the bedsheets. Pete is straight jacketed as Peg unwraps him proclaiming that there are two ways to make a bed: the right way and the Donald Trump way. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Peg makes the bed in five seconds and takes a coin in her hands. Pete then proceeds to sexually harass Peg into teaching him the art of making a bed, making him look like the most pathetic assbag in history. Peg decides to entertain the thought and asks what he wants. Pete doesn't want anything except to grow as a man and win the contest; causing him to hold his mouth because he's a stupid idiot. Peg is on to him big time now as Pete admits that he wants to win the Mrs. Spoonerville Society's Househelper Contest. This causes Peg to literally roll on PJ's bed laughing her ass off. This went on for far too long; but I don't care because Pete deserved it for acting like a toxic macho man all these years and now has to stoop to being a terrible feminist in order to win $3000. So yeah; this was his problem, not mine. And then Peg stops selling and says not to make her laugh. That was in fact funny as Pete blows her off as Peg proclaims that he has two chances of winning, slim and none and slim walked out the door. Pete then proclaims that he'll do it himself as Peg blows him off and storms off slamming the door; basically telling him that she isn't helping him anyway. Geez; is this a contest to see who can be the biggest jackass of the show; because if so, Peg needs to quit right now. She cannot hold Pete's asshole in this department and I'm certain only toxic macho masuclinty would ever want that role. Pete grabs a vacuum cleaner and proclaims that he'll show them all and win this damn contest; because he's Mrs. Spoonerville. He turns on the vacuum cleaner and proclaims that they will hear him roar as he raises up the vaccum cleaner. Now this episode really sucks. HAHA!
Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Shuan Desmond.
Scene change to Pete at the ironing board ironing clothes in the living room with a pink apron on. Sadly; he makes a gaping hole into a blue shirt as Pete flicks it onto some plant vase as there are shirts with holes in them on a pile. Pete claims that he's getting the hang of this as we head outside at a window with Max and PJ as Max claims that Peg has let herself go, no offense. If there was ever a time PJ wanted to punch Max in the face for what happened in Slightly Dinghy, this was the time to do it. PJ mopes instead as Max claims that Pete cannot fold a towel. I betcha neither Max or PJ can either. Max and PJ walk towards Goofy's contest as Goofy is going to clean up at the contest. Jump cut to inside Goofy's house with Goofy and a white shirt as he irons the shirt in the living room and manages to turn it into a paper swan with buttons on it. How about that for magical cleaning solutions? Goofy throws the swan into the clothes hamper and it turns back into a white shirt with details. Max opens the door and yells; which causes Goofy to tie himself up again with shirts and drops down to the ground in another awkward position. He relates his uncle and the circus while squeezing like me moving bowels on the toilet. Goofy then jumps and we get concussion city again. Goofy then comes down, bonks the iron and crashes in a heap with the ironing board as Max comes over proclaiming that we have a problem. We sure do; this show is tedious to the core! Ironing board spins and Goofy's positioning is so awkward that it should make any artist who draws women in sexually awkward positions to stop doing it right now. Underwear shot ensues as Goofy pops his body out of the ironing board (and his clothes are literally inverted as Goofy's shirt was his pants and his pants are now his shirt. Somehow; his tie is in the same position, so BS&P RULEZ~!) as Max tells Goofy that Pete has entered Mrs. Spoonerville. Max spins Goofy around and whirlwinds Goofy; which sets his clothes back to normal. Somehow. Goofy realizes that the competition is tougher now (Peg: HAHAHAHAHA. No.) and Goofy will have to train harder to force Pete to walk all over him.
Goofy grabs the iron and sets up the ironing board; only to trip over it and crash off-screen stage left. Some things never change with Goofy; I guess. Head into the kitchen as Pete is at the counter with a big ass ball of dough as he slams the dough into the counter and then pounds on it while proving that his singing is only slightly better than Goofy. At least Pete is trying to sing in tune with the non-existent music. Pete is doing fine until he is tired and needs a break. In comes Max through the side door as he asks Mr. P for a cup of sugar. Wait; since when would Max ask for such a thing? I smell a rat here and it's not Pete this time around. Then we get an out of nowhere baking sheet and Pete plops the dough into it; the dust makes him cough and Pete blows off Max because he's baking. Max opens the cupboards and raids it for food as Goofy is making triple ripple peanut butter upside down marshmallow cakes for the contest. Holy crap; he'll win the contest for sure now! Pete is behind Max and as this is going on, the dough in the baking pan is rising far beyond any dough could do in real life. Oh great; now Larson and Gary have gone into the dried yeast business. How gross is that?! Pete is angry as Max bails the with the paper bag of stuff and then Peg comes in and asks about the amount of yeast in the dough. Pete of course thought it was pint and cannot read a recipe book that says, pinch. I know what body part Peg will pinch Pete next; but that's TMI so let's watch the dough engulf Pete while Pete makes excuses and then it explodes and dough splats six times causing Peg to duck. Peg is about to open her mouth; but Pete blows it off as he's the literal doughboy for Pillsbury. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So we head to Goofy's kitchen as Goofy is filling up the washing machine with dishes and clothes because it saves time, saves water, save soaps and saves having to be Goofy's friend. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Goofy fills the machine with soap and closes the door as we see Goofy mopping the floor with a mop and a bucket of water proclaiming that he's not half as dumb as he looks. Ummm; if that were the case; you would be Sports Goofy; not Goofy Goofy.
Goofy then proclaims that he should read the mop instructions first and...I'm trying to figure out what he did wrong; but I don't think mopping yourself into a corner is all that funny. Scene change to Pete in the kitchen with a pink sponge mop with green handle and...complains about the door being put over there. Wait; what?! I'm guessing that this was a mopping yourself into a corner; but we all do that and Goofy did the same, so...what?! Scene change to Goofy sleeping with the mop in the corner and then we see the washing machine chugging soap out of the door as Goofy goes to it claiming that the floor is dry at last. That lasts five seconds as the door pops open and we have a flood of dishwater, but no dishes or clothes. Goofy surfs the wave out of the house and into the backyard as we jump cut back to Pete standing with his mop proclaiming that this wasn't bad for a used car salesman. Remind me to never hire one to do cleaning duties in my house as the door opens and the Goofy wave swamps Pete and then we cut back outside as we get a lot of punching sounds and bumping sounds, but nothing else. Not even water coming out of the front of the property. That is the defintion of lazy animation right there, folks. Scene change to Pete on the chair knitting Linus' blanket, which I'm sure Pete needs for security and sucking his thumb when Goofy beats him in the contest. HEY! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Chainsaw gnaws on the ball of blue yarn for fun as Pete is confusing himself again; causing Chainsaw to tie up her ankles in the process and get caught in the blue blanket. Okay; remember Super Ducktales where Wang Films did a perverted gag where Fenton's binoculars seem to grow about a foot on every shot it is shown?! This is the exact same gag; only at least it made sense since Pete was knitting a boat warmer and it had to extend about six feet with every shot to make it believable. So Wang Films has at least learned something from it's crappy animation practices and did it better. YEAH! (Jay Leno handclapping ensues) So we scene change to Pete sneaking to the back door (which always changes with every episode) to see how the competition is doing.
Well; I would say that this is Pete cheating again; but Max was cheating on Pete earlier with stealing food from Pete's cupboard, so this is a case of "what goes around, comes around" and at least Pete hasn't stolen anything. Yet. Pete peeps into the door window as we jump cut to Goofy in the kitchen washing dishes in the sink with purple rubber gloves. Goofy spins a plate as we see black colored arms on Goofy as Pete is impressed by Goofy's channeling of Dave THE CLEANING BARBARIAN OF LAUGHS skills. At least Goofy is not a barbarian, so him cooking and cleaning is perfectly fine and somehow fitting considering that he couldn't be a toxic manly man if his life depended on it. Goofy is doing the trampoline spot with drying the dishes as Pete is not liking this at all. Goofy bounces the dish and it shatters onto the edge of the counter into a pile of broken dishes as Goofy claims that he almost had it this time. Goofy takes out a dish and it screws Goofy around, slipping and sliding and twisting and all that stuff as it somehow spins on the counter and doesn't shatter. Pete wonders how he can win the $3000 now and sulks off stage right. Goofy looks at the plate and thinks this might prove that he knows what he is doing and it flies off the counter and shatters off-screen. So we head inside Pete's living room as Pete comes in with all the mail and closes the door with his foot. He bumps the mail away in a corner and opens a parcel containing a blue covered book. So Pete notices that the book is DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS~!) as Pete reads the book. Pete goes over reading and sits on the chair as Chainsaw is forced to bail on cue. Pete then panics because the big rule of the contest is that judges will pre-judge all contestants in their homes the day before the contest and....And what? We don't know because Pete proclaims that he's doomed. Why is Pete doomed?! They don't say because that ends the segment almost eleven minutes in. Wow; we were chugging along fine until the last fifteen seconds or so. And above all; there is only one that is always doomed and it's Nintendo. It's in the Holy Bible in a certain dog whistle code only I can understand.
After the commercial break; we see Pete in the kitchen cleaning the sides with a toothbrush doing chores like nothing before like vacuum the ceiling, spackle the dog, and shampoo the dishes. Geez; and people accuse Mister T of mangling the English language?! In comes Peg yelling at Pete and for once I'm with Pete this time. Will you let Pete make the mistake himself?! Even Rebecca Cunningham knew not to baby Baloo in his get rich quick schemes until it was to the point where he was harming others! Of course, Pete sees her as a giant ass bottle of Linseed oil. I am not making this up; that is what Pete sees! Peg yells at him for being stupid because winning isn't everything. Pete calls this bullcrap of course. You know Pete, if you want us to have slightly more sympathy for your promo; you could tell us why you are doomed! Pete calls it his destiny and I can now see why CM Punk blew off Alberto Del Rio in his promos in WWE. This leads to Pete hanging onto Peg's legs and begging and pleading for help and mercy. Mercy? Help? From Peg "Legs" Pete?! Surely you jest, Pete! Peg calls him out for begging and Peg decides to help after all as long as Pete does anything she says, when she says it and how she says it. Pete is on a chair and Pete nods claiming that he's putty in her domesticating hands. Peg proclaims that she is going to enjoy this as we do a teleportation scene changer of the exact shot she cut this promo; only she has a green/blue hat and a whistle, like she's a coach on a football team or something. So she blows the whistle and cuts a promo to zero hour and judgment day and there is still work to be done as Peg finds dirt on the counter with her finger. Pete answers without question and mangles her into unintentionally implying that she's transgender. Idiot! Pete also does some stupid thing with cleaning the dust from her finger with the tie. Peg continues her coaching spiel as Pete salutes her as we scene change to the grocery store as Pete comes out with the groceries and stuffs them into his car as the car is loaded beyond belief. Pete gets into the car and speeds off after running down the list of chores he did.
Scene change to inside the living room as Pete opens the door and walks in with a bag of groceries and keys in his mouth as Pistol is running around a messy living room being chased by PJ; who apparently Pistol is playing a protestor and PJ is playing a police officer. I only say that because Pistol is protesting that she has rights as a free citizen. Pete spits out the keys and is angry about the living room being a total mess. They are also dressed in silly dress outfits and trying to pound each other with sacks of cans. Why? Why not?! Pete yells at them to freeze and demands answers to this outrage as Pistol pretty much explains it all to me and tries to bail stage left. Sadly; she's got a skirt that is too large and therefore Pete can easily step on it to cut her off. Pete is pissed off as he checks his watch since the judge will be here in twenty-five seconds. Pete panics as he pushes the kids out of the living room as Peg is angry at him and Pete yells at her for causing this mess; but Peg claims that the living room isn't the mess, the kitchen is a mess. Do you get the idea that maybe Peg is intentionally sabotaging Pete just to send a message about being an irresponsible gasbag?! Because if my husband could win $3000; I would be doing whatever it takes to make him into a champ, including making sure no one screws it up. Not that I blame her for wanting to send the message; but $3000 doesn't grow on trees, you know. Except in cartoons, as seen in Darkwing Duck in an episode that I thought sucked badly. Pete fluffs up the pillows on the sofa and the doorbell rings causing Pete to gasp. Pete huddles PJ and Pistol and tells them to bail and tidy up the place as Pete opens the door and lets the two judges in. They look like every snobbish stereotype you ever saw with their noses pointed straight up. Pete is buttering them up; and the thin female judge (in the blue dress) tells him to save the butter for the popcorn. That made me laugh and so we check the living room and it's neat, clean and average. Pete is not thrilled about this as they check the fireplace.
Okay; here's a logic break: The thin judge has Mickey Mouse gloves on both hands. So she then goes to her purse and finds a Mickey Mouse glove to put on her right hand. As she does this; the right hand on the close up has no Mickey Mouse glove. So where did the original glove go?! You couldn't have her take off the glove before this? In a show where you have twenty-two minutes to work with? This is stupid. So the thin judge touches the fireplace top and there is dust on the glove; causing Pete to panic, run in and start sexually harassing the judge. In comes Pistol with a bucket of water yelling as the female judge proclaims that child labour is not encouraged in the home. Wait a second; how do you know that Pistol is cleaning up the place? She might be cosplaying a janitor? Have you ever thought about that? Jesus; I thought sexist men were the only ones who had fetishes with rigid gender roles?! What; can't Pistol decide if she wants to be a janitor and follow her dreams as becoming one? Sure; it's a dead end job, but even that can be romantaized. See Spongebob Squarepants, fry cook. Pete's excuse is so laughable that I laughed at it. Pete should know the fine art of Occam's Razor; but that would imply that Pete doesn't think this is a razor owned by Occam. Peg is pulling on Pete (and we accuse Molly of being an ankle biter...) and wants $50. Probably wants fifty hugs and kisses from daddy. See how fun Occam's Razor can be? Pete does use Occam's Razor and the judges don't buy it anyway even with Pistol blowing Pete off. The judges tell Pete to study Goofy instead and to stop using his children as a crutch for his flaws basically. They leave as Pete is pleading and begging and bribery as the judges walk out of sight. Pete slams the door and blows off Goofy and he's going to CHEAT TO WIN basically. Yeah; simple, clean and neat as we circle fade out and then return in Goofy's bedroom as Goofy is in his pj's yawning up a storm. He goes to the window of his bedroom and closes the window. Pan down to behind a tree near the property as Pete is hiding behind it proclaiming that it's time for a little creative performance enchancement. Steroids?! Really, show?!
Oh wait; he means sabotage. Or does he mean, sabotage by injection of performance enchancing drugs (PEDS)?! Pete practices the fine art of not being seen and opens the garage door proclaiming that he is going to fix Goof's wagon. And Pete steps on Goofy's red wagon, trips and bounces into the back of the garage off-screen as we jump cut to Goofy waking up in his bed. He deduces that it's the creepy crawly creatures. Wait; so a bunch of perverted people have tried to kidnap Max or something?! Well; that doesn't surprise me? Not to mention that if that were true; they are really stupidier than Goofy as well. Goofy proclaims that he's greatful for putting in the extra large trap as it snaps off-screen and Pete screams. And people accuse Goofy of not being a sadist?! Sad! Goofy yawns and goes back to sleep as we jump cut to Pete in the garage with a giant bear trap on his ass. Pete is now pissed as he is going all out on Goofy now to end the segment almost sixteen minutes in. Wait; if Pete is doomed because the rule that the judges pre-judge the homes before the contest; and since they didn't like what they saw in Pete using kids, doesn't that DQ Pete from the contest? I mean; if that doesn't DQ him; then what is the point of pre-judging the homes before the contest? And if he is DQ'ed from the contest; why is this episode even continuing, unless Pete is doing this to make sure Goofy doesn't win. Which would make Pete look like the most petty guy in the room and a heel; which would be better, but Goofy would have to win then. Oh man; Steve Cuden really booked himself into a corner with this angle. And of course; Pete is trying to screw Goofy in another scheme, like we haven't seen this in 90% of the episodes in this series thus far. Is that the best this asinine sitcom cartoon can do?! Geez; no wonder Warner Brothers and Fox were laughing their asses off like Peg earlier in this episode.
After the commercial break; we head to the same arena from The Incredible Bulk with spotlights and a bad parking lot as it is AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) we head into the theatre with a full crowd and a dog ear with mohawkish hair, a red suit, black bowtie, brown pants and shoes is on stage in front of the red curtain addressing the crowd. According to IMDB; it is supposed to be Biff Fuddled; but Disney Captions claims it's Smiley. 2:1 odds it's Smiley; since IMDB originally thought Guy Herbert was Guy Hibbert. So the announcer is making household jokes and none of them catch as PJ, Max, Pistol and Peg arrive in the front row. So the announcer opens the curtain and Mr. Goofy, Mr. Pete both trip and fall like stupid idiots; and then Mr. Butler, Mr. Cook and Mr. Shine all come in. You can basically tell who is who without me saying anything because they look like stereotypes of their names. Apparently; Duckworth thought this contest was above him; Myron was busy and I don't even want to know what Scrooge McDuck's excuse is. BOP! OUCH! Ummmm... Pete calls this a law firm. It sure is; the law firm for defending stereotype cartoon characters in shows. HA-YUCK! Goofy thinks it's a cleaning staff; which sadly isn't as funny. Why are there three stoves in the background? Shouldn't there be five of everything? So unless those three are a tag team, you only had them there for the sake of a joke, right? I ask because we scene change and it's time for the first segment which is the serving tea to the judges. The set needs to be reinforced with more bright colors; there's a lot of white in this scene. Bigots. Apparently; this art of serving tea is very ancient. Geez; isn't this an obvious dare to change the channel. Mr. Butler breaks the ice first as Pete blows him off for having no style and no form. Pete claims that he give tea serving a bad name. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there, Pete?! Pete comes in with a red wagonish toolbox with the kettle on top. I betcha Pete screws this up badly.
Which begs the question: Why is he still in the contest? I thought the point of pre-judging was to remove most of the bad apples so the contest doesn't turn into a total debacle?! Pete brings out an oily cloth and the thin judge blows him off. Now if anyone is complaining about my description of the judge, blame Cuden for NOT giving her an actual name. And no; me giving her my own name would just make it worse! So Pete wraps it around her neck anyway like an asshole. See; you should have DQ'ed him from the contest when he was using his kids when you had the chance. Idiots! Peg is trying hard not to get pissed off as Pete blows kisses back at her when pouring the tea as it overflows. It flows down the table and despite being three feet away from the table; they still sell as if the tea landed on them. I blame Wang for that one as the pink dressed judge pushes Pete away; but still doesn't DQ him from the contest. I don't know why as Pete is not liking where this is going. Oh sod off Pete; that's MY line! In comes Goofy and Pete turns into scheming Pete because it's time to CHEAT TO WIN~! Goofy hums a tune as Pete plucks the golden spike from the tray wheel and the wheel comes off as Goofy panics on cue. Cup and kettle go flying (why is there a cup when the cups are on the judge's table? Never accuse Goofy of not being a completist, that is for sure) as Goofy rushes in and grabs it. Sadly; Mickey Mouse gloves cannot protect you from burns and scalding as Goofy's hands turn red and he oversells pain on cue. Okay; good to know. Goofy throws up the kettle and it pours tea through a rope and create two paths and they both perfectly land in the tea cups of the judges. The two judge drink tea and call this very clever. So, round one goes to Goofy as we scene change to the announcer as round two is floor polishing. Mr. Shine runs in with the BUFFER OF MICHAEL polishing the floor. Here's a question: Why is Pete screwing Goofy and no one else? I mean; if he wants to win the contest, shouldn't he be trying to screw everyone to win, instead of just one?! Because Pete only screwing Goofy makes sense if Pete was already DQ'ed from the contest!! This is stupid.
Anyhow; Goofy brings out his BUFFER OF MICHAEL as Pete grabs on wanting to give him a hand as he flicks the red switch. Goofy goes into a whirlwind around the floor and it sparkles like a Sunwoo convention. Because this is exactly what this episode needs, more windbags. The judges love it as round two goes to Goofy as Goofy runs over Pete while he is groaning. This causes another circle fade out and we return with the announcer sniffing either the air or a clue. Okay; just the air. So round three is cooking a speciality as we head to the stoves as Mr. Cook comes in with a board of cut up veggies and places them into the out of nowhere flying fan on a gas stove. Not enough blue in that flame Wang; not enough blue color. So yeah; Wang Films doesn't know how gas stoves work. The judges like it already, much to Pete's surprise. Mr. Cook turns around as he's serving olives on toothpicks. Wait; so what is he cooking on the stove? The crowd is popping for this as Pete's cooking is a mess of suck on the stove. I'm not joking; there is liquid leaking on the stove and on the floor as Pete brings the pot of his famous chili which is not for the faint of stomach. No crap, Sh*tlock~! The judges are already trying to seal their lips; but Pete force spoon feeds chili into their mouths. CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS and we have GOOFY JUDGES ON FIRE~! That is a six alarm on the ten alarm scale of chili. Sadly for Pete; this is not what the judges are look for. Pete gets flamethrowers in short spurts as Pete is charred and might as well be BBQ'ed. Scene changer ensues as we see Goofy start up a chainsaw blender and puts in carrots. Like I'm making that one up?! Seriously; that is how Goofy started up the blender. The judges walk to him as Pete is in the foreground proclaiming that he'll never get it in gear this way. Pete then shows some gears and a grater in his hands as Goofy hears something wrong and grabs the glass pitcher of the blender. This causes him to whirlwind and bounce around stage left. The blender's top opens as we get pinball action which completely defies the law of physics and somehow still lands in the double boiler without spilling a drop. Yip!
Crowd pops as the judges use wooden spoon and taste his veggie soup. They love it of course as Goofy wins round three and unless the final round is worth five points; Goofy has won this contest outright. The announcer proclaims that they will be right back after words from their sponsor. Yes folks; this contest is on television! I didn't know Spoonerville had a public access channel?! The sponsor is Nipsy Wipsy Cat Food. Geez; get out of Libby Hinson's statch of rejected stupid puns for products, will you Steve? So we fade to black (what?! Did the circle fade out quit in protest or something?) and return backstage as Pete hides behind two lockers. Pete proclaims that he is going to eliminate some competition. Now; I thought it would be Goofy; but in comes Mr. Cook. Why him? Goofy is the one winning the whole thing! Besides; the entire storyline has been Pete cheating on Goofy. Why would you need to the eliminate everyone else? This only makes sense if there was a second place prize that was nearly as good as the first prize; but there's no such incentive mentioned, because the writer never took that into consideration when booking this. DUMB! Pete claims Mr. Cook won Mr. Whatever because Pete simply throws him into the locker and locks the door. Oh; and now there are three locker doors instead of two; which makes more sense, but is still a logic break. Pete calls out Mr. Shine who is in the locker room with Mr. Butler. The final round better be worth five rounds of wins; or this makes no sense at all. Mr. Shine of course falls for the phone call trick and gets stuffed in the third locker. Pete calls out Mr. Jeeves Butler (If only Mr. Butler was a bulldog; that would have reminded me of the college basketball team that almost won the NCAA tournament as a mid-major a long while ago.) and he falls for it and get stuffed in the first locker to the left off-screen. Pete wipes his hands clean of responsibilty like a good heel would. Pete proclaims that it's just him and Goofy and he can beat him with one hand tied behind his back. Goofy is kicking your ass in this contest, PETE! You suck anyway!
So we head back on stage on the table as the announcer proclaims that the three contestants have left the building and forfeited their chances of winning. So the final round is baking muffins and there is no indication that the final round is worth enough for Pete to have a chance to make the comeback and win! So this contest is useless now because even if Pete wins the final round, Goofy has won all three previous rounds with ease since the other three competitors forfeited. That is just bad booking on par with the Super Pose Down at Royal Rumble 1989! Pete drops his spoons and they shatter like glass off-screen. WHAT?! It makes sense for him to drop the spoons or whatever he dropped since it plays into the next spot which is Pete going down and replacing the sack of flour with SEAMEN-T~! But; shatter like glass? That makes no sense. So Goofy shovels SEAMEN-T~ into a bowl. Goofy puts blueberries and water into the bowl. Goofy blends well with the hand mixer and it goes really hard on him; so the cement is quick drying. Goofy get helicoptered around because he's Goofy and he's a stupid idiot who bumps for a million people and is awesome at doing that. Goofy goes into the air as Pete tells him to stop showing off. Oh sod off and like it, Pete! Pete unplugs the hand mixer and Goofy crashes into a heap onto the ground causing the crowd to gasp. Pete then makes the fatal error: He scoops the cement blueberry muffins into a baking pan and walks backwards to the oven. Ummm; hello? If you do that; they are PETE'S muffins now! Barring that; this is a double DQ and no one wins the grand prize. I'm betting on the later; since it has to be a swevere. Pete struggles and puts the muffins into the oven and shuts the door and as he leaves; a second oven appears out of nowhere! WHAT?! Wang Films; you suck! So the oven on the far left is shaking as Goofy opens it and the muffins have risen so much even though cement shouldn't expand so much that it bends and breaks your oven. Cartoon fuzzy logic strikes again! Goofy takes out the biggest cement muffin in captivity and struggles with it while managing to slam the door shut with his foot.
So Goofy manages to get it on the table and it lands on it and somehow; the table bends; but doesn't break. I AM THE TABLE~! Instead; we get an earthquake. WHAT?! So we get a lot of pinballing as apparently; the statue with the toaster was designed to work with actual toast being popped. If that isn't a dangerous weapon, I don't know what is. Then the statue with the slice of pie slides off, everyone tries to bail; but everyone gets murdered with the bump WITH CHEESE AND BACON on stage. So one of the judges hands a letter to the announcer and the announcer opens it. He reads the following: Goofy has been disqualifed for assault with a deadly bake good. Yes folks; you have to almost literally kill someone to get DQ in this event. Of course; this means Pete wins the contest by default. He won! By cheating four guys! Why hasn't Wrestling For Dollars signed him to a contract yet? Goofy hoists Pete up as they put the crown on his head and Pete does the worst sobbing I have ever seen. I was begging Peg to find a board with a nail and chase after him. They give him the combination device of doom which looks goofier than anything on Teddy Ruxpin and a cheque for $3000. Now personally; I would have fine with him winning; if it was $3000 in cash. No; it's $3000 worth of Nipsy Wipsy Cat Food. Didn't you do this exact stake in Cat's Entertainment; only with kitty litter?! For goodness sake; let him win his $3000 in cash and get it over with; and then have Peg grab it and proclaim that it will pay nicely for the damage done to the studio; if you want to screw Pete out of his win. Pete protests this outrage and Goofy grabs the cheque saying that he has a cat; which Pete doesn't. Pete says but and stammers like a stupid idiot doing it. Scene change to Pete's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR as we head inside with Pete in an apron and Peg is sitting in the chair blowing him off. You see; he's Mrs. Spoonerville and has 364 days left in his title reign. You know; this would have been a lot better if she said: "You're not forfeiting the prize; so you must clean the house for a year under the stipulations in the rulebook for this contest." But no; she makes a comment of how cute he is in the apron. Head to outside as Pete is screaming as we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:13. Okay; the first half was good; but the second half was a total mess of logic breaks and the ending sucked. ** 1/4 (45%).
THE REVIEW LINE
All right; I was not impressed with this episode. It's getting more and more difficult to care about another Pete scheme when there have been way too many of these and most of them aren't very good. This one was decent for the first half and it felt all right, despite a few contrived spots. Once the pre-judging of Pete's house was done, I suspected Pete was being DQ'ed from the event, but it wasn't the case at all. After that; it was a total mess by the animators and the booking of this made no sense as there was no incentive to do the final round, other than to lead to the DQ finish and have Pete win an event he didn't deserve to win in the first place. The judges had zero personality; the contestents were stereotypes in everything including the name and Peg was a bigger jerk than usual, which when Pete incurs her wrath, it's at least amusing. Overall; this was a below average episode, I have nothing more to say about it. So; let's just move on to the next episode which is probably just another Pete scheme anyway. So...
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.