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For Pete's Sake
Reviewed: 04/01/2017
...Stop Scheming On Goofy Already!
Well; someone on Wikipedia thought it was funny to try to make this sound not like another Pete scheme; but here is the plot according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Pete accidentally wrecks his Swiss-army hedge clipper, and decides to deceive Goofy into thinking that he did it instead, knowing that it would cost him a lot to replace. Goofy, discovering it and buying into his scheme as planned, writes him an apology note saying he will get him a replacement. When receiving it, Pete however rips it in half, reading only the first half of it. From reading only that portion out of context, coinciding with being just after Pete has cheated a bunch of customers out of selling them defective used cars and realizing it, he becomes downright paranoid and thinks that someone's out to murder him. This sounds like a police blotter on The Jay Leno Show. How does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Steve Sustarsic and the story is edited by Dean Stefan. The animation was provided by Kennedy Cartoons, Inc.
We begin this one in between Pete's and Goofy's properties with a yellow/green title screen. The garage door of Pete's house opens and out comes Pete's car. It does a lot of bouncing, which is a clear motif of Kennedy Cartoons. How can you not be entertained by this movement, you stupid idiot critics?! Then we get the most obvious logic break ever: Pete gets out of his car and this looks like the Tiny Toons animation team did the artwork for this episode as we see what appears to be a chainsaw which is similar to a swiss army knife; only it's a swiss army chainsaw. Note that this object was NEVER seen until right now! Either that thing has teleportation powers and is sentient; or Kennedy Cartoons is too damn distracted by things moving to not plug up logic holes! Pete does the worst acting of sadness ever as the hedge clippers have a cuckoo clock taped on the side of the thing. The cuckoo bird cuckoos about five times; so I predict Kennedy will break internal logic about five times (including the first time here) before the end of this episode; and then the cuckoo bird dies. Considering the plot of this episode, how symbolic? Pete drops the hedge clippers and proclaims that it will cost him a fortune to replace; but then gets inspired because you have to scheme Goofy out of his well earned money, since that is the only plot they can find useful for Pete since this is an asinine sitcom after all. Pete goes over to Goofy's parked jeep and places the thing underneath the wheel of Goofy's jeep proclaiming that he's so rotton he gets goose bumps. Goofy hums and walks outside after Pete bails behind the brick wall. Of course; Goofy notices the hedge clippers and thinks Goofy did it, buying Pete's plan, hook, line and sinker. Because he's Goofy and he's a stupid idiot. So we get church bells in the background as we scene change to a sky shot of the dining room/living room as Goofy brings out a piece of paper and pencil; and sits down at the table because he's going to write a letter of apology and an I owe you to Pete for destroying the swiss army hedge clippers; which Pete actually ran over, but whatever. Goofy is such a stupid idiot that he wonders how many R's in Pete.
Goofy proclaims that he'll write sloppy so the spelling won't show; so his spelling is officially worse than Baloo and Kit's put together. Goofy writes and the pencil end breaks; causing Goofy to claim that the pencil has run out of gas. Har har! Goofy brings out a can of pencils; half of them sharped, other half not and Goofy makes an unleaded joke. Har har! Cameo alert: One of the magazine features Darkwing Duck on the cover. Also; all the magazines come out of nowhere and look poorly drawn. So there's internal logic break number two for Kennedy Cartoons today. So he brings out the out of nowhere scissors and glue; bringing the total out of nowhere logic breaks to three. Oops; almost forgot; the can of pencils wasn't on the table either, so it's four logic breaks now. We aren't even three minutes in and they are already one logic break away from proving me right. In less than three scenes no less. Goofy cuts and pastes words onto the piece of paper and generally makes a mess of himself. The letter says: I'm going to get you a new hedge clipper. Sorry. Goofy. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Goofy is a mess and is sorry. So we head to Pete's used car lot as Pete is knocking on a denizen's red corvette as he claims that the old heap is falling apart. The denizen I think has appeared before in this lot as the grey haired dog ear asks about trading it in. That red corvette looks fine to me; so I call BS on Pete right there. Pete goes into the consideration of the cost of inflation, deflation and vegatation, it costs a wrecking ball (yip; total BS on Pete's part) from an out of nowhere crane. There's five logic breaks in less than three minutes and exactly three scenes. Did I just say...Oh, never mind. Kennedy defenders: Sod off, stupid idiot! Look at the movement! This is animation! This is not real life! Are you not entertained by...POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Me: Listen, I would love to see the movement, but it's my job to point out that you are doing it at the expense of internal logic. Fix the internal logic first and then I'll praise you for your movement, which is very limited at best. Okay? So the red corvette is flatter than my sex life making Pete look like a greedy bastard of course.
So; next up we jump cut to Pete counting money while a black haired dogear denizen wearing a brown shirt and brown pants walks around a blue colored car which looks more generic than my sex life. It only cost him a thousand dollars; which is five hundred dollars too much, even in peak condition. Certainly more than the two cent corvette in the last scene, that is for sure. Denizen gets in car as Pete calls himself a pushover. Well; when it comes to Peg; that is perfectly accurate. Denizen starts car and drives out as the engine sputters, wheels come off and the car scrapes right into the road. Third denizen gives Pete money and drives in a blue jeep which bounces and breaks onto the street within fifteen seconds. Then the jeep acts like a bucking horse and heads northeast and out of sight. Jump cut to a fourth denizen who remotely looks like someone new with a hat on kicking the tires on a green car and even they deflate on cue, causing Pete to repump them with a tire pump out of nowhere of course. Front tire teases exploding on the far shot; but it simply deflate on the close shot. That's six logic breaks now; although this one isn't Kennedy's fault this time. Pete pumps that tire up. Denizen #4 does the lightest love tap on the hood and gives the thumbs up and money to Pete. Pete smiles with the evil used car salesman grin as we scene change to Pete changing the odometer on the dashboard to 170 miles (or kilometres; doesn't matter since the amount was closer to 900,000 anyway); and gets money from someone as the engine sputters; but otherwise is gone without incident. Pete calls him a sucker and another dissatisfied customer. Scene change to Goofy arriving at the car lot and we get him practicing the fine art of not being seen complete with the Fred Flintstone twinkletoes spot. So Goofy is now stealing a gimmick that is better suited than Pete. That's just peachy. Goofy puts the letter underneath the door lamenting about Pete not seeing him since he ruined his hedgeclippers. Why is the wrecking balled red corvette still there in the shot? There's number six for Kennedy as we see Pete at his desk writing and then gets up complaining about the Better Business Bureau again.
Now; I have no problem with that reference being in the show because it's supposed to be a government agency. Pete then does the idiot plot mistake of the episode by ripping the letter in half instead of opening it up with a letter opener like real business men do. So Pete throws out the second half of the letter (which makes this even worse) and reads the letter which simply says: im Going 2 Get You! Geez; it's bad enough this happens on the internet everyday; but I didn't realize it started with Goofy mailing letters with randomized capitals and bad grammar. Maybe Goofy really is a bad influence on everyone...NAH! Pete of course laughs it off because who would want to get him and then he drops the letter and thinks that someone is in fact trying to kill him. Oh come on, Pete! It's clearly the Boogyman who sent that letter! The WWE one; not the fictional one. Pete bounces over to his desk and calls for the police. So we scene change to inside Pete's office as Pete and the inspector from Counterfeit Goof are exchanging notes on the situation as he claims that 99/100 times, this is nothing. Yeah; 99% of the time, it's nothing, in 1992. Nowadays; there's no way this doesn't get taken seriously, even if Pete is a scumbag. Pete is relieved until the inspector relives a tale about his first case and he was a used car salesman, implying that this car salesman was murdered as Pete asks if it's just like him. The inspector says no because this salesman was crooked and ripped off his customer. Wait; this makes no sense because Pete was exposed as a fraud about four episodes ago in In Goof We Trust. Pete is nervous as hell as the inspector talks about this case in grave detail as Pete's teeth are chattering. Since this is not Sunwoo; this is not watching a classic! Inspector's shadow turns into a grizzly bear and Eisner's not fooled, because if he was, TaleSpin would be renewed for 35 episodes. We see a lot of eyes in the scene for no reason; but it's for artistic purposes, so I'll forgive Kennedy for that at least. And then he disappeared. Yes; despite being allowed to say die and kill; this guy disappeared like a Dragon Quest character...
Then somehow; he was found ten years later and the inspector shows the picture of him to Pete. Geez; this inspector is a sadist to keep that picture with him all those years. Pete looks at it and it's horrible according to him. Of course; no one in the audience sees it, so I assume that it was a corpse. Pfft; go watch Foresnic Files if you want to see brief shots of dead bodies, there's lots of that! Then we discover that it's really a bowl of chili which he won first place at the policeman's chili cook off. Okay; I can see why he kept that picture; but Pete is not amused at that one. Pete is given another picture and it's him as being like a bowl of chili. Yes; they killed him and dismembered him. I'm shocked a wood chipper wasn't involved here, since this has happened before. Pete shudders in fear as the inspector tells him that it's often someone close to him, like a family member, a neighbour or a foreign diplomat. I'm certain that third one is off the list of suspects. The inspector is grabbed by Pete as he pleads for mercy and assistance. The inspector pushes him off and wipes his coat, telling Pete to calm down because there is a 75% chance that it's nothing. Wait; you originally said 99%? Huh. Maybe the inspector has something to hide and is trying to push us all off the scent...Even Pete is noticing this as the inspector goes into approximations like 99, 70, tomato, tomahto. That sounds like the inspector is a prime suspect in this case. Pete is sat down as the inspector tells Pete to clam down and relax; and bump up the life insurance policy. Hmmm; who is stats wise, the most likely suspect in an attempted murder case? The one who gains the most from bumping up the life insurance policy. Which would be Peg; who always seems to boss and control Pete around. Pete panics on cue with alarm bells as the inspector opens the door and leaves claiming that it was just trying to be funny. What a sadist this inspector is? You would think he's trying to murder Pete via a heart attack. Also of note; the blue mat out of nowhere says "Yo!" on it, for no reason. Pete chatters teeth and looks stressed out, yee-haw.
Scene change to outside the office and then head inside as Pete is looking out of the window blinds looking really paranoid beyond belief. Pete claims that no letter is going to spook him and he's got nerves of steel. Peg wishes he had nerves of cinnamon, since Pete is more unpleasant than a Mr. Enter reviewing a crappy cartoon episode. Kind of like me, actually. Okay, Kennedy; WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PETE'S NOSE?! Is he wearing a mask or something? Pete then hears the phone ring and takes an out of nowhere baseball bat and smashes it to pieces. So we scene change to outside the hardware strore (also from Counterfeit Goof) AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Goofy's jeep backs up and drives towards the hard camera. Goofy is driving while Max is sorting out goodies such as shears, chainsaw, ax, hammer...and then Max gets nailed in the throat with the cuckoo clock bird, causing Max to hit the roof. Not as funny as Kit's ass being on fire in Pizza Pie In The Sky. Goofy of course reads the instruction poster while driving, forcing Max to drive the jeep across the street. I just love how there is car horns blaring in a scene where there are zero cars in the scene. I blame the sound effects guy for this one. Head to an intersection with Pete's car standing at the lights waiting for the light to turn green. At least Kennedy Cartoons got the light sequence right; so kudos for that at least. Pete claims that everything is just fine; so he's a TNA fan. Light turns green and Pete drives into the middle of the intersection; as Goofy's jeep bonks into the car and the black car gets whirlwinded in the process. Max asks if he felt something and Pete's car smashes into a lamp pole just like that. Pete somehow manages to tear the roof of the car up on cue and wonders if that car was the suspect's car? Yip. Jump cut to an alleyway as Pete is practicing the fine art of not being seen; but is talking way too much to be effective. Sound effects guy should be commended for the voice effects being changed here; but that detail was pointless. So we jump cut to a junkyard as a cat screeches and Pete bails into a graveyard where there are two Christian Crosses clear as day. YAY! Once again; I knew I would notice them if I looked hard enough. Strangely; Darkwing Duck's graveyards had no crosses at all. Even though this episode is implying that Pete might get murdered, this is the first reference to death in the episode nearly eight minutes in. And even though; he has to break the fourth wall to remind us that he didn't mean it literally. Remember two years ago when Bearly Alive couldn't help it by saying kill and dying fifteen times?
More Pete walking around the wrong part of town in total fear and gulping as a cat comes out of the trash can and no one can take this cat seriously as a threat to anyone. Pete runs away stage right and falls through the sewer hole into the sewer below the middle of the street. It's pitch darkness in the sewer so Pete lights a match (Toon Disney cut alert! Which Toon Disney didn't cut...TaleSpin haters!) and we head under the sewer; which looks like a bunch of caves with a wooden sign. We hear a dull roar and Pete is shaking like a leaf claiming that it was an echo. More nervous shaking ensues as Pete claims that he always had a hyperactive imagination. You don't say?! So a large lizard like shadow appears out of nowhere and Pete screams and flees northeast...Here's another logic break: Pete runs away northeast from the hole. Then he pops out of the sewer hole in the exact same spot he entered. WHAT?! He didn't move six inches from it before he ran off northeast from the shadow! Of course; the shadow is a tiny mouse climbing out as Pete runs faster than Sonic The Hedgehog on speed. *RIMSHOT*! This leads to a Kennedy Cartoons logic break: Pete runs into his house; and Pete just goes through the door without any indication that the door was openor shut. Nor there was a Scooby-Doo Snow Angel spot; which would have made more sense, since Pete is now boarding up the door with wood and nails. He also boarded up a solar ceiling window and a window to the right as Peg shows up and calls Pete bunny feet. Pete of course claims that he's redecorating the place. Sure he is; as if the place is being condemned and marked for demolition. Here comes the Ax...Here comes the Smasher...POW! OUCH! Ummm...Yeah; that sucked. Pete wants Peg to be brutal (you know something is wrong when PETE is the one who wants Peg to be brutal) as a wooden plank smacks Pete from behind (like a heel on a heel). This causes Pete to run upstair as Peg plays Butterbear and gets whirlwinded. Peg looks dazed and confused as we end the segment nine minutes in. Wow; it's been a while since we had a short act. This was fine so far.
After the commercial break; it's morning at the Pete household as Pete is in the house guarding the boarded door wearing his pj's as Peg points out the obvious to us. Pete claims that today is a holiday; which all the customers of world say "YAY! We're not going to be ripped off now!" Peg is confused as Pete calls this holiday "People Named Felix Day" and doesn't want to offend people named Felix. Down comes PJ and Pistol as Pistol is talking a mile a minute asking about getting a ride to school. Ummm; that wouldn't be possible since Pete has no car since Daddy almost got ran over by a "MURDERER"~! It serves PEOPLE~! Of course; Pete has to lie, even though someone trying to kill him was in fact remotely possible; and wants the kids to stay home, which of course the kids love and Peg does not. Pete grabs Pistol and claims that he wants to get to know them as PJ is confused now. Pistol checks Pete's head and there is no sign of fever as Pete sits down on his chair and stammers before saying that Pete wants to rap. Oh boy; this should be fun to mock. Sadly; Pete just wants to talk as Pete doesn't even know PJ is in sixth grade, the same grade as Kit, so PJ is twelve. Wait a second; PJ and Max are in the same grade and Max is ten and a half, so Max should be in grade five. There's some fridge logic for ye; unless Max is supposed to be twelve. Pete acts like this is an amazing revelation and Peg does the Gruffi pose in response. Pistol says she's in kindergarden; so I'm guessing five years old; a year younger than Molly as Pete acts like this is the greatest thing ever. Peg acts like this is the dumbest thing Pete has ever done. PJ asks if Pete is done and bails to walk to school and Pistol follows his lead stage left. PJ stammers on wanting to do this chat again real soon. Oh; and Pete is wearing bunny slippers, too! HA! Didn't think I would catch that continuity didn't I?! Well...I did. So Pete wants to talk to Peg and Peg proclaims that she doesn't go to school; causing Pete to do a belly laugh. What a stupid idiot?! Then we get a knock on the door and Pete is shaking like a leaf; but his voice acting acts like it's nothing special.
Pete is praying and sweating like he's in a convention of Oscars as Peg states the obvious for us. This leads to a whiplashing jump cut of Pete sliding against a wall holding a folded umbrella. Pete makes it to the door; looks out the window door and sees Max and they both scream on cue. Max runs away from the door and out of sight as Pete slides down against the door as Pete calls that a close one. Scene change to Goofy's property and inside Goofy's house as Goofy is writing another letter to Pete in the dining room proclaiming that his surprise is gonna come any day. Ironically; he's writing it down this time, instead of cutting and pasting, completely killing the continuity the episode was shooting for. Waffles is on the table looking bored as Goofy puts the letter in the envelope and seals it. He states that it's a reminder that he is going to replace the swiss army hedge clipper that Goofy thinks he destroyed. Waffles licks the envelope of course; because we need a grossout spot in a Disney cartoon. Jump cut to Pete at his window shaking like a leaf with teeth chattering sound effects as Peg is blowing him off for fogging up the window. We then see a statue of a goofy clone attracting birds on the other side of the street; which Pete mistakes as the guy who might want to kill him. Oh; and this house on the opposite side looks almost like Goofy's; only painted pink. Peg gleefully answers that one for me as she embraces Pete; and Pete claims that you can never be too careful. If only he took that advice as a used car salesman; he wouldn't be such a scumbag. Peg calls Pete froggy feet and asks if he's all right. Pete then springs like a toxic macho man and claims that he's fine. Ummm; no you are not, Pete. Your car crashed into a lamp post. You are not fine. Just tell her the truth for once. Pete shows off his teeth to Peg and it's clear that the writers and animators alike are trying to kill time here. Again; the biggest complaint I have with Goof Troop is present here: This is an eleven minute plot that they are stretching out into twenty-two minutes, so it's mostly downtime for half of the episode. Peg says okay and walks off stage right, probably having enough of these tedious spots. I don't blame her.
Pete goes to a conveniently placed mirror to check himself; which shows that telling scoiopaths to look in the mirror is totally ineffective against them. Pete looks in the mirror and now Pete is having halluications of Pete yelling at him to pull himself together. And finally; we get our second reference to death as Pete finally calls the suspect a killer. Mirror Pete tells him to calm down because the killer doesn't know where he lives and Pete breathes a sigh of relief and he can stay in his house for the rest of his life and has nothing to worry out. Then we hear a buzzer and a letter shoots underneath the door towards Pete. Pete picks up the letter and thinks it's a bill or a letter from Ed McMahon. Maybe it's from Vince McMahon and wants to sign you up as the next Mantaur or something. Pete opens the letter properly this time and reads it; causing Pete to sweat and panic on cue. Pete goes to the mirror and pleads for Mirror Pete to help. Mirror Help packs his luggage, blows off Pete and bails stage left. Scene change to AFTER HAPPY HOUR in the bedroom as Pete is shaking like a leaf in bed with a teddy bear beside him. Geez; that's the first case of teddy bear cruelty I have ever seen on camera. Then we get a classic Kennedy logic break: Pan over to Peg wearing hair curlers and Pete (and blanket) disappears like it teleported out of the scene completely. This animation company kills me! Peg wakes up and asks if hamster lips is still awake. I would ask if hamster lips has been teleported to death at this point. Oh wait; Pete's back and holding a cannon and wearing a green army hat. Well; that justifys the teleport then! Pete claims he's fine and asks why Peg thinks something is wrong. Pete; you do know she asks that question every episode since being married? Jump cut to outside the window as a tree is knocking on the door. Wow; Spoonerville is a windbag-equse type of town. I guess calling it the Windy Town wasn't enough to get past Chiacgo's trademark.
So Pete screams, jumps into the air and here's another logic break: He appears to hide under the bed; but the next shot has a cannon ball go through the window and then the next shot after that has Pete at the side of the bed whimpering. And Chainsaw has somehow appeared next to Peg as Peg wants Pete to switch to decaff. Or better yet; Pete actually tells her the truth. So we head to the living room after a shot of the house and thank god Kennedy made sure the window was still blown out in that shot. Pete is in front of the television as Peg tells him to relax and watch. The living room is now painted red, for no reason and looks barren. Wow; I never thought TaleSpin's backgrounds for Higher For Hire would be so consistant. Peg bails to go fix him a snack as the television is turned on as we hear a man and a woman talking about milk helping him sleep; while Pete is sucking his thumb wearing the Mickey Mouse gloves. That is gross! The man realizes that the milk tastes like almonds which by the way; thanks to Foresnic Files, I know that something that tastes like almonds, but is not almonds is code for something being laced with aresnic, a deadly poison. Of courses; the man dies on the screen as Pete is scared shaking again. Pete bounces the chair backwards and hides and of course the television program avoids the word kill; despite being a late night show which would not be BS&P'ed to death. Pete changes the channel after the woman on television is laughing and in comes Peg with milk to help him sleep. Pete teases taking it and then gets the child corrupting balloon of doom featuring the police inspector talking about the crime being done by someone close. Pete invokes the most violent no in history complete with more wind than outside; because this is exactly what this episode needs, more windbags! Peg's curlers pluck off and somehow; her hair is eight times longer than it usually is. Geez; she needs a haircut, STAT! Peg is not amused as we scene change to Pete walking up the steps. You know; if Peg is the suspect, I would be calling the police right now. Or tell her the turth and see if she tries something and then call the police. That would make sense, but no.
Pete is walking up the stairs proclaiming that he needs to pull himself together and is in denial mode claiming that Peg would never hurt him. After all the stupid things Pete has done; you would think otherwise, but no. Pete then hears squeaky footsteps as we see PJ in yellow footies walk into the hallways and then we see shadows as Pistol comes out to grab something on the floor and walks away as Pete walks to his bedroom to see Chainsaw with white glowing whites in it's eyes as the inspector's echoing voice is annoying me now. We see that the balloon of doom featuring the inspector is following him and Pete smacks it away as we get killer reference #2 (death reference #3. Bearly Alive, I do believe was up to at least eight references at this point.) as Pete blows him off because Chainsaw as the killer makes no sense. Geez Pete; you don't believe in Z-grade movies then? Pete leaves and thinks Chainsaw is the killer and didn't know she could write. Funny thing is; if Chainsaw looked like the original prototype version in this show; this would actually be believable. Anyhow; it's morning and the window has magically repaired itself just like that. We head into the hallway as Peg, PJ and Pistol are in the hallway in front of Pete's bedroom door. Peg is knocking on it demanding that he open it. Peg has clearly barricaded the door and proclaims that he cannot open it and asks if Peg is her real name. Peg does the Gruffi pose on cue as PJ asks Peg is Pete has gone flako. He's been "flako" for the past twenty-seven years that I remembered him. Peg proclaims that he under a lot of pressure and wants to hide all the sharp objects. Now; Peg is saying this because she's afraid Pete will hurt himself. Pete is afraid because Peg and family are going to kill him. Remember the difference here and guess which one is the true one. Pete locks the barricade with a chain and padlock as Pete claims they are acting weird, which is projection at it's finest. Case in point; Pete goes to the window and sees Goofy putting out the trash. Pete then proclaims that he'll get Goofy to protect him and he trusts him. It's official; Pete has flipped his lid and he's really gone off script here.
Pete's grin is so priceless here as he dings himself and proclaims that he'll wait until dark. Scene change to Pete's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Peg is in the kitchen on the phone talking to someone as she states that she's worried because he's locked himself in the bedroom all day. She's worried because this is strange behaviour, even for Pete. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. We cut to Goofy's kitchen...oh my god! For those who think Louie L'Amour is a gross person; witness Goofy kneeding dough with his bare feet on the floor while answering the phone and mopping said floor. Oh wait; the dough was a white cloth; which makes more sense. Sorry. Goofy tells Peg not to worry about this and then slips and crashes stage right into something off-screen. Surprisely; no cats screamed in this spot as we jump cut to the living room with Pete walking with that ultra stupid nose mask that no one would be fooled calling out for Goofy. Then I realize that Pete has somehow entered Goofy's kitchen from his living room watching Max and Goofy assemble Pete's new swiss army hedge clippers. Max and Goofy talk about Pete getting the big surprise as Pete sees this as Goofy and Max are the ones who want to kill him. Pete backs up in shock and cannot believe his eyes and ears. Pete runs, trips and falls as a magazine falls on his head from a coffee table. Pete proclaims that Goofy is the one out to get him and that ends the segment sixteen minutes in. Again; this is okay, but come on! You cannot say that Goofy is out to kill you, Pete; after saying killer twice? Two years ago; Baloo, Rebecca, WildCat and even Kit were saying die and kill like it was going out of style. I can understand this happening in 2000 or even 1995; but 1992? Get out of town! And above all; how did Pete get into Goofy's house in the first place? That makes no sense at all. Did I miss a scene earlier?
After the commercial break; we head back to Pete's house as Peg is on the red sofa cross legged; reading lines on a book. Peg turns the page and in comes Pete slamming the door open and stammering like a stupid idiot. Pete lies on the armrest as Peg asks what is wrong. Why does Peg have flesh colored lips now? Pete inhales and in comes Goofy and Max with a box and he panics. Peg shoves Pete and informs him that she invited Max and Goofy to dinner. Pete then backs up and smashes into the wall; causing it to crumble around Pete as Goofy has a surprise for him and has been wanting to give it to him for quite a while. Goofy gives Pete the box and hears ticking sounds. Pete panics like crazy and runs into the backyard. Pete then throws the box into the swimming pool in a panic. Goofy and Peg are at the window; Goofy is amused, Peg is not. Goofy claims that this is a strange place to put a hedge clipper in and this should have been the point where Pete hears it and asks about it, eliminating Goofy from the list of suspects out to get him. Of course; we have five and a half minutes left in this show, so we have to invokes CDS on the episode and Pete has to ignore this. Because kids just want comedy, see. And because execs think ending an episode properly is for old farts who are not their target audience anyway. Goofy thinks Pete is overexcited by the surprise. Yeah; I'll bet. So we head to the dinner table with all the babyfaces and Pete at the table, minus the pets and Peg of course. Pete's teeth are chattering like mad as PJ is holding up a fork for no reason. PJ then scrapes the table with it to create squeaky noises as Peg comes in with a turkey. Peg then asks Goofy to crave up the turkey. Now; any reasonable person would look at this and say: "She wants Goofy to cut the turkey on the platter. Okay." Problem is; Pete is like a terrible critic for Free Birds who screams bloody murder and thinks saying: "Those must be some angry birds!" is some kind of sublimital message to make you play some video game on mobile phones called "Angry Birds". Anyone who thinks that; SHADDUP~!
Pete panics the moment the big ass knife comes out, of course. Peg has that look of "See what you did; you stupid idiot critics!" as Pete is forced to recoil and realize, that it's the turkey. Which makes him better than those critics of Free Birds. Goofy carves the turkey and puts it on Pete's plate. Now; since Goofy did this without screwing up, this makes Pete stammer and not be hungry because Pete thinks Goofy is trying to poison him. Now to a reasonable person; we know Goofy is not going to poison Pete, but having the spot done without screwing up is brilliant because if Goofy had screwed this up, then Pete would know Goofy isn't trying to poison him and the episode would be over right there. Hey; if you are going to CDS the episode, at least make an effort to make it look good. Goofy hits him in the back with the knife pointing up; and his promo does not instill confidence in me because he's not screwing this up at all. Pete takes the turkey slice and gives it to Chainsaw, who is under the table scratching herself. Pete asks if she's queasy and Chainsaw points to her mouth in the universal sign of feeding her more. So Goofy puts another slice of turkey on Pete's plate. Pete stammers and then bails upstairs as he claims that he needs to change his shoelaces; even though he's not wearing any. In fact; Pete has been wearing the same outfit since the second act started. Pete goes into the bathroom and finds some bedsheet. Oh noes! NOT THE BEDSHEET ROPE SPOT~! ANYTHING BUT THAT~! (Kit: Swell; Gregory's back in mid-season Agnoy Booth form here!) So Pete ties the end of the bedsheet to the facuet of the sink claiming that he has watched a lot of prison movies. I was half expecting a "drop the soap" promo to be cut here; thankfully they did not cut it. Pete throws the bedsheet rope out of the window and Pistol instantly sees this and asks Peg about it. Peg ignores the question and tells Pistol to eat her carrots. Geez; those are the whitest carrots I have ever seen. They look like banana slices to me. So Pete climbs down and of course the facuet at the sink breaks; because Pete is just too fat. Pete lands on his ass on the deck and gets nailed in the head with the facuet. OW!
This concussed state causes Pete to run away like the Roadrunner over the wooden fence as the door to the deck opened during this whole silliness and out comes Peg. Peg proclaims that Pete has finally gone off the deep end...and then gets splashed with water. HAHA! Peg is not amused as Goofy admits that it was him. HAHA! He was the one who splashed water on Peg as he brings out the box and proclaims that he will track Pete down. and bring him back. Safe and sound, dead or alive. He should have said: "dead and alive"; that would have been funnier. And he still has to give him the hedge clipper which we all know he's going to try to use on Goofy when he finds out Goofy is not trying to kill him. So we scene change to Goofy walking in the street with the dreaded swiss army hedge clippers of death looking for Pete. Pete is hiding in the alleyway and proclaims that Goofy will have to catch him first. So Pete goes head first into a pipe and is walked like he's punch drunk. We hear Goofy yelling and see a shadow of the gimmicked weapon of doom causing Pete to panic and run into the night in shadow throughout Spoonerville as this is clearly being done to kill time. Pete goes into a movie theater, throws coins into the ticket counter and asks for one child's ticket please. He gets one because Pete's a manchild of course. Pete runs into the movie theater and sits down in a chair in the theatre as Pete is panting that Goofy will never find him in there. Jump cut to Goofy in the aisle yelling for Pete and then we see Pete literally teleport out of the chair and is running away from the movie theater just like that. Pete finds a conveniently placed police officer who looks like Goofy. Oh wait...Pete is panicking like mad now as he runs stage left to the sidewalk and calls for a taxi while pleading for mercy. He gets into the taxi and closes the door. The taxi speeds away and we have a taxi driver who looks like Goofy. Oh wait...Pete screams and runs out of the taxi, stumbling and fumbling along the way.
Suddenly; Pete is back inside his house in the basement closing the double wooden doors in the backyard and is cuddled up with Chainsaw acting like a manchild who cannot see how stupid this all is. Pete's attempt to rationalize his behaviour is hilarious; as if Goofy would ever move away from the house Peg herself signed. And you know Peg is going to find you at some point; so you are basically back where you started from act II, you stupid idiot! Pete shows off his shelves containing cans of beans and taking them as Chainsaw repulses in disgust. I have no idea if it's the beans or Pete in this scene as we hear something according to Pete. I sure didn't as he holds onto Chainsaw's mouth to prevent him from talking and Chainsaw bites him; causing Pete to scream. So Pete smacks Chainsaw onto the cold concrete floor as we hear Peg and Goofy deduce that Pete is in the basement. Pete then blames Chainsaw for being in on the conspiracy. If she was in on the conspiracy; she would be dead from the aresnic poisoning in the turkey meat; which she isn't dead. There is no conspiracy; except for the nut in your head, Pete. So we open the double doors in the basement. I don't know why they didn't go into the house; unless this is the only house in Spoonerville with a basement that is only accessible from outside. Goofy goes down the step with the gimmick plot device of death as Pete backs up and claims that he's going out like a man. If he said "manchild" that would be more accurate. Goofy shows the gimmick and Pete drops on his knees and begs for mercy. He holds onto Goofy's leg and promises he'll do anything Goofy wants as long as Goofy doesn't kill him. And finally; after avoiding the word kill and die for ten minutes straight; Pete says kill twice and die once. (#4, #5 and #6 of the episode) Goofy gives Pete the gimmick as Goofy sees Pete sobbing as Pete pleads for him not to choke him...and then recoils as Goofy shows him the hedge clippers - swiss army style. Pete starts protesting as he shows the top half of the letter and gives it to Goofy as Goofy points out that the bottom half is missing...
Okay; remember that Pete threw away the bottom half in his office earlier in the episode? Well; somehow, Pete manages to get the bottom half in his hands and reads it. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! Pete threw the bottom half of the letter away plain as day and somehow he got it back and above all; he NEVER read it until now?! You have got to be kidding me! This is beyond the pale stupid! If Goofy had simply said the bottom half of the letter; this would have been fine. But no; Pete has to magically get the second half of the letter back and he had the entire episode to read it if he did! Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Did I mention, dumb as a box of hammers?! Pete then just loses it and laughs as Peg doesn't know what to make of this. Join the club, Peg! Pete shows it off to the kids and Pete does it in a nearly dangrous way as the kids don't know what to make of it. Pistol wonders if this is genetic. Nah; it's nothing a personality transplant cannot fix. Peg comes over and Pete embraces her in a position that makes me feel like Peg is going to die now. Goofy; the ever irrational person that he is; tells everyone to leave the basement and let Pete have some privacy with the hedge clippers, effectively defusing a bad situation. The babyfaces all leave the basement as Pete is lying on his back laughing about chili as Chainsaw is still in the basement for some reason. Then we get another Kennedy Cartoons logic break as the door is now open despite the fact that the babyfaces clearly closed the door on their way out. Pete throws the gimmick down and claims that he wasn't really scared, like a toxic macho man. Pete does some lame karate moves and punching claiming that he knows karate, judo, kung pao, moo goo gai pan and he threatens to simonize their garfinkles! He sounds like an internet tough guy with a G-rated potty mouth as we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:14. This was an okay episode which stopped being hilarious after the fifteen minute mark and it became kind of sad. That finish wasn't impressive to me either. ** 3/4 (55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I really don't have much to say about this episode to be quite honest with you. It was your average Pete scheme that backfires; and the whole "Is Pete going to get killed by Goofy" was totally idiotic and felt watered down where you couldn't take anything seriously about it even if you tried. Goofy and Pete did the best they could with this idiot plot and it was fine, although that finish with the letter was stupid. Kennedy Cartoons was their usual "Movement over logic" self as it was a mess again, especially since I still wonder how Pete got out of his bedroom into Goofy's house. Overall; it was an average episode that didn't make my head hurt, but nothing I want to see again. It was a typical Goof Troop episode. So next up is the final episode of disc two of this volume set as PJ and Max say "FU" to their troubles and run away to the city. That makes it much more compelling than most Goof Troop episodes by default. This tread is getting to the point now where even I want to quit this show; but I'm a critic and this is my job. So...
Thumbs in the middle for this episode and I'll see you all next time.