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As Goof Would Have It
Reviewed: 05/02/2017
Translation: Stop Being Too Fat...AGAIN!
Okay; more scheming from the fat bastard known as Pete as this time, Pete tricks a diet food company by using a picture of Goofy to display himself. Yeah; like anyone should buy this wholesale. Oh look; Stephen Levi's back for more pain and amusement. So, how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!
This episode is written by Stephen Levi. The story is edited by Carter Crocker. The animation was provided by Walt Disney Animation Australia, PTY Limited.
We begin this one with Pete in the backyard with a plate of donuts on his belly on his lawnchair complete with title card colored yellow/green with cyan blue tips. Pete is waxing pretty much the same creed I used to follow before I got diabetes in 2003. Pete is wearing a lot of pink and red while reading a nature magazine it seems. Pete is also in the swimming pool in an inner tube with black flippers and a red umbrella as apparently; the book he's reading claims that he consumated more than some countries. I think you mean "consumed" more. Stop changing words to please 1990's kids. They are the current asshole demographic; for Pete's sakes. We see the dog ear fat bastard with a watch and a chicken bone necklace. He's much bigger than Baloo and Hoppo put together, natch. Pete is much more diplomatic about him. Sure; he schemes a lot and acts like a scoiopath, but he doesn't do any of that fat shaming crap, no siree! He draws the line when it comes to that. He turns the page and now the fat bastard has turned into Mr. Bones. As Jay Leno would say: SHAD UP~! Pete laughs at him; so punching down on thin people is a-okay with him as Goofy is bouncing in his backyard off an off-screen trampoline wearing a green gym suit, sneakers and matching color headband. Pete doesn't care what he's doing, other than being Brad Marchand unintentionally. Pete threatens to call the police on Goofy and then notices the Lickety-Split Diet plan; where you can lose seven hundred pounds in five days. That means I would be dead, Baloo would be dead, Hoppo would be dead and even Pete would be on death's door. This is total BS to me. Might as well say "Lose all your weight" as shown in Jay Leno's Headlines segments. More out of control bouncing from Goofy as he calls this anemic exercising. I'll say, Goofy; I'll say. At least it's Goofy screwing up words and not Pete. So Pete reads some more and the book tells him to send his picture of him to the diet center and they'll sell him a supply diet bars for $79.99. Which means, two I would believe. So the guise of it is that Pete gets paid $25 per pound up to 1000 pounds lost. This sounds like a bad business move to me.
So Goofy bounces more and gets his track suit coat stuck against a tree branch. The tree branch literally breaks four seconds later and he crashes off-screen, kicking up a lost of dust in the process. I think he also broke the trampoline as Pete reads that it's twenty five pesos per square foot of paunch as Pete eats all the donuts on his plate and claims that he's in such good shape. You sure are, Pete. You are shaped like a beached whale at this point. Pete pets his belly and the orange inner tube pops and becomes small as Pete splashes into the water; and Jim Cummings, the hero to dozens of DAF Radio fans, forgets to sell the promo about the defective raft while being underwater. And then the swimming pool implodes and Pete lies on his back in the backyard as he blows off the defective swimming pool. Pete decides to find some bucks to shed after all as we scene change to the front of the property as Pete runs in with an evenlope and like a stupid idiot decides to lick the stamp in front of the mailbox, instead of inside on the table where no wind is present to blow it away...Oh wait; I forgot about Peg. Never mind. So he mails the post card of himself and personally; if this were today, there would be a montage of mishaps occuring and Pete would lose a hundred pounds BEFORE the bars arrived. That would actually be funny. Of course, it's 1992, so the post office truck arrives with the magic of getting the picture off-screen and then drives away stage left. Three seconds later; the truck arrives; gives the bars off-screen to Pete and drives away in the same direction as the first one. Not funny. Pete runs into the living room, cutting promos about money, money and more money; as he opens the parcel and starts pigging out on the diet bars, right in front of Peg. Is this worth eating vomitted cardboard now, Pete? Pete basically tells the truth on his scheme as Peg is not impressed by this. What a shocker?! Peg blows it off because it's one bar per meal. Ummm; Peg. This guy eats like, eight meals a day, so he needs eight bars and is only at five. Pete claims that he needs six meals a day to make this work; but Peg no sells anyway.
So Peg goes on about just wanting Pete to be Pete; which I find impossible to believe considering the last episode where she was teasing keeping Pete as a fly. Anyhow; Pete takes offense to this and accuses Peg of thinking he cannot lose weight. Peg agrees with Pete on that sentiment as Pete groans about more than one word and Peg mocks him for having more than one spare tire. Pete has had enough of this fat shaming from Peg and runs upstairs proclaiming that he'll be one rich, skinny guy as he cannot fit through the door and he calls the door defective. Memo to kids: If you consider something is defective, it might very well be defective. If everything is considered defective, maybe you are defective and it's time to heal thyself! Pete is the perfect personification of that. Peg is amused by this as we scene change to morning in the house of Pete as Pete is in the bathroom in his robe checking his weight on the scale and he broke the electronic scale. I'm just waiting for him to call the scale defective. For those who thought Baloo was fat shamed: Pete was shamed no less than three times in this series alone. Pete goes through the ceiling/floor and is on his ass in the kitchen while Peg is pouring coffee from the coffee pot on the island. Pistol asks if he's dropping more weight and Pete goes through the floor into the basement and gets stuck in the furance as the place is smoking like crazy. Scene change as Pete goes into his bedroom with the broken scale and as expected, he blames the scale for being defective. I'm shocked he didn't call the ceiling, the floor and the furance defective yet. He throws the scale out the window and it bonks off Waffles' head off-screen of course. Then buttons pop from his shirt as Pete is looking out proclaiming that he needs a picture of him losing a pound or two hundred and sees Goofy doing the stupidest hamstring unstrung moves known to dogear kind. So Pete's latest scheme is to photograph Goofy and put it in place of his picture instead. Which is kind of funny when you consider how many weight-loss ads have the fakest "after" photos in history. So consider Pete a pioneer in terms of "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" here.
So Goofy is stretching on the sidewalk; and cutting silly promos in the process. Why is he exercising like mad? I'm glad he is doing this; but there is no motive as to why. Although; there are people who wish I had no motive for exercising and that you just make like Nike and just do it. In comes Max and PJ with red wagons as Goofy asks what they are doing barely past the crack of dawn. Max and PJ have empty wagons that will soon contain cookies for sale and the one who sells the most cookies gets a Certificate of Appreciation. Compared to nowadays where you just show up and they give you that already. Personally; I like nowadays; because at least the certificate of appreciation makes sense here. If you make it to sell the most cookies; you should get a trophy and five percent of the profits; or a week's supply of cookies. Or and there are two front row seats to the concert. What a horrible prize this is?! Should be eight seats; considering what Pete is turning into. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Goofy wants chocolate cookies that are the vanilla kind; so he wants an Oero cookie. Odd since this show has no problems engaging in blantant references to real life products. Guess Oero is copyrighted as Max and PJ bail stage left to get the boxes of cookies. Out comes Pete wearing a red sweatcoat, cheese headband, red jogging pants with cheese trim and black shoes. That is the most disgusting cheese consumer I have ever witnessed, Billybob! POW! OUCH! Ummm.. So Goofy walks stage right with the power walk and Pete joins him to exchange notes with Goofy. God; that stomach makes me look like I'm a buck fifty in comparison. So Pete tries to distract Goofy with the most contrived acting of "make you look"; and Goofy still falls for it. Pete brings out the camera and walks backwards, but somehow falls into the sewer through a manhole cover. Surprisely; he doesn't get stuck in it, despite the fact he couldn't get through a bigger door in his house. Yeah; that was an obvious logic break as Pete pops up after hitting a metal pipe off-screen and Goofy deduces that it's a telephone pole. Which someone falling from it would be more believable, natch.
So we walk in the park as Pete appears to be hunched back and suffering from back pain. Goofy tells him to think light thoughts and empty his head, just like him. So we play Sinkers & Floaters in 1992 (although this would be about two years after Takeshi's Castle existed) as Goofy floats and Pete sinks quicker than a stone. Goofy says that it's like no pain, no Spain. That was funny. Goofy continues to mangle metaphors like Mike Adams mangles science as Pete tells him to close his eyes because there is a black thing on his nose, which Goofy deduces that it is his nose. Pete then puts his fishing hat on Goofy's head out of nowhere and steps back to take the picture; and when he pushes the button, water comes out of it. Pete calls the camera defective; to which I say that Pete is seriously defective. Goofy turns around and demands answers to this outrage as Pete stammers like a stupid idiot. Then he simply tells the truth and still lies by omission; which Goofy accepts carte-blanche; because he's a stupid idiot. Pete is loving this as Goofy poses and tells him to shoot. Pete's psychopathy is clearly shown when he saids that he would love too, but he only has the camera with him. Yes folks; if only BS&P allows him to have a gun, he would shoot Goofy with it. What a hater Pete is?! So Pete snaps the photo which we magically see behind a background and that is that. So we scene change to PJ and Max struggling with towering boxes of cookies in the wagon as PJ complains about ringing every doorbell to sell the cookies; and Max claims that they don't have to because they are selling them to just the two biggest eaters in Spoonerville. Take one guess who those two are. So we head inside Goofy's living room as the kids bring in a pile of boxes of cookies; but Goofy only takes one and only wants one; because it will go right to the lips. Considering that the mouth gets the most exercise when eating (That's why when you eat celery; you lose calories instead of gaining them); I find that hard to believe. Considering Goofy's figure, at least buy five of them. You can always save four of them for later. Goofy is confused as the kids groan.
Scene change to Pete saying that he'll only buy a buck fifty and the kids groan because Goofy's too into being an exercise bastard and Pete is a too into being a cheap bastard. So Pete brings out the picture of Goofy and proclaims that he'll be so rich he'll need his own bank to hold all the money. So he puts the letter in the envelope as we head inside an office with a blue suit wearing man looking at the envelope and letter of the pictures and is amazed because he's an even bigger stupid idiot than Goofy and Pete put together. I discover through Disney Captions that his name is Burt as he turns around wearing a greaser brown hair style and pink pants. There is a grunt with male pattern baldness wearing a green shirt, brown pants and shoes as he is grabbed and thrown down to the ground. Burt wants to call him and his advisors because he is going to build his ad campaign around this adonis. Ummm; Pete is basically Adrian Adonis; not Chris Adonis, sir. So we head to Pete's living room as he is pigging out on the chair with potato chips. Peg is answering the phone in the kitchen and claims that there is no Adonis living here. Are you sure, Peg? I'm pretty much Adrian is living here. Pete overhears this and runs in grabbing the phone, claiming that Peg's roast is burning and the baby's diaper needs changing. Wait; so Pete still believes that Peg is still having a baby, after all this time? Nah, couldn't be. Peg is not amused by this; but I am though. Oh and there's a cab as Peg blows him off. Pete shoves Peg away off-screen and Pete is on the phone. It's Burt on the phone and he's really happy to see him because the pictures were fantastic. I'm sorry; but after all the fraudant ads on weight-loss; I have no sympathy for Burt being screwed by Pete. I consider this as returning the favor. So bascially; Pete wants a personal cheque and thinks he's won; but Burt wants interviews and such; because you see, the pictures were so impressive that he wants to exploit Pete for his enterprise instead of just paying him. Pete no sells because he is making excuses about not having his picture taken while pacing around. Can you tell the plan is backfiring in his face now? Pete even claims that cameras steal souls.
In spite of the fact that Pete took his picture at the beginning of the episode. Cameras don't steal souls; Pete doesn't have one. Literally (because no one has one actually) and figurally. Of course; Burt points out that he signed an agreement which involves an restraining order and gaining the male born first child. Wait; so if he fails to comply and lies; that means PJ would be Burt's?! And it's breach of contract Stephen. Not that it matter; I mean, Pete deserves to be sued out of existence, but it's not like I have sympathy for Burt anyway since suing him out of existence would also be a conflict of interest. Not that it neccessarly stopped anyone, but whatever. Pete is on his ass and stammers before accepting the terms and Burt will be at Pete's in three days. Pete hangs up the phone and sobs like a baby. Sadly; no delicious tears come out because Pete is so bad as a heel that he cannot cry tears. So we scene change to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Pete is on the rowing bicycle because he has to lose 180 pounds in three days and once again, Pete's math makes Scott Steiner look like a genius. It's sixty pounds, not ten, Pete. And this rowing bicycle is attached to a video game which features a simulation of Pete heading straight for mach trucks. Okay; for those who complain about Infantible Teen Titans Go Fish bashing critics, here's a prime example of it in 1992. Stephen did this on purpose to rib on people like me. Get over it modern cartoon critics of the world. This has happened before and I'm sorry; I'm just going to point it out and move on. Somehow; Pete heads straight into a mach truck and we get a huge crash as the bicycle is destroyed and somehow there are tire trucks on Pete who is on his belly on the floor wincing. WHAT?! Okay; I understand ribbing me; but come on, Stephen! No surprise; he calls the bicycle defective. So we head to the bathroom as Goofy walks in wearing a pink bath robe and shower cap. And yes; he's still has black feet; so there you go. Goofy climbs into the bathtub and takes off his bathrobe inside while humming. Pete appears on top of a wooden ladder and puts a red hose into the bathtub. Why? I don't know what the hell he is doing here.
Okay; here's a BS&P moment that makes BS&P looks extremely stupid in hindsight: Pete hangs the hose on the shower curtain and then climbs down to set up the rest of the hose to his house. The shot they used to have the hose on the curtain was inside the shower, showing Goofy naked as a jaybird clear as day. Yes; they didn't show Goofy taking off his bathrobe; but showing him naked is perfectly okay. Two years ago; Baloo was intentionally and unintentionally stripping off his shirt in at least two to three episodes; right in front of Kit Cloudkicker no less! This is so stupid; it burns! Pete heads into his garages and has created a makeshift wooden sauna which would easily be confused as an outhouse as Pete sits down wearing yellow towels on his head and his body as the steam increases a lot and there is a lot of animation, but not much else. So we scene change to Pete at the bathroom getting onto a new scale with barefeet impressions on it. He steps on it; and his slippers create the squeak sounds in the process. I would take those off, Pete; they add to the weight. Not that it makes a big difference, but still. He only lost less than a tenth of a pound. Oh my god; it's a miracle! Pete actually lost weight! Pass the kleenex! POW! OUCH! Ummm...Yeah; Pete is shocked and appalled by this as there are only two more days to go before he's screwed and that ends the segment 11 and a quarter minutes in. Most weight loss stories are average and this is average so far.
After the commercial break; we head back to Pete's house as a cock is crowing as Pete has completely changed back into his purple robe and blue pj's as he panics because he'll be sued and thrown in jail for this. Uh-huh, Pete. Like we care. See what fat shaming can do to someone, especially a scumbag like Pete. When a normal human being gets shamed; it's tragic. When a scoiopath does it, it's dangerous and criminal. Pete then ponders scheming that he'll change his name and committ ID fraud; and then sulks and walks downstairs because that is how he got into this mess in the first place. Pete heads out to grab the newspaper claiming that he must have the answer and it'll hit him any second now. And so; Goofy bonks into Pete and this somehow causes Pete to spin like a windmill with papers flying before falling onto the ground. I see Pete is now stealing Kit's overselling of a punch to the face by an octopus. What depths will Pete stoop, in order to gain heat on himself?! Goofy and Pete slowly get up as Pete is acting all diabolical as we scene change to jogging in the park with Pete being completely behind Goofy as we talk about respect and when was the last time he said this. I just love how Goofy claims that it's never, even though that would literally be the answer for actually admiring and respecting Goofy by Pete. More talking and climbing ropes make Gregory Weagle something something as Pete cannot even climb a rope; so that makes two of us now. Goofy is shedding a tear, those salty tears as Pete admits that they are a different spieces compared to Goofy; which is the first time that they have told us that directly on television. Usually it only took two episodes of TaleSpin before that happened. This creates an ultra-awkward slingshot spot with the two idiots crashing off-screen. Goofy is on top and Pete is buried in a wooden plank tomb of course, where he belongs forever. Pete rises out with a plank and Goofy on his head and calls this a sign he has never seen before. Well; when you have no empathy, you become shocked at that side of him, Pete. Pete then screams at him; finding about eight ways of calling him a stupid idiot. Then he catches himself of course.
So Pete tells Goofy to move a tiny bit and Goofy gets off Pete's back as Pete has a preposition for him. Well; good thing it isn't a proposition, then we would never hear the end of it at this rate. So Goofy and Pete do tire jumping for a while as Pete wants to know how Goofy gets through life without killing himself basically. Pete of course, was much more long-winded in his explaination than I was, but that is the guise of it. Pete is stuck in the tires and is pushing it off as Goofy goes to the pole vault which doubles as a climbing rope device which Pete is so big and tall that he could do it while walking on the ground. Goofy thinks Pete is putting him on because he thought Pete knew this stuff. Pete claims that it was a false facade; which is ironic because he's pulling one on Goofy right now. He basically fails at life as a blue bird perches on the rope; which sets up Pete getting off the rope and the bird slingshots away. Well; he is a success at cruelty to animals, if that counts for anything, I guess. Goofy feels bad for him because he only thought Pete was just short tempered and selfish. Yeah; that's what I thought, too. Along with being a red collared-criminal and a redshirt failure at grammar. Pete claims that even that is a facade (which makes him a much more evil bastard than I thought he would be) as we head back to the house. Goofy agrees to help him as Pete pushes it over to his house, despite the animation showing him pushing Goofy towards Goof's own property. Yeah; these animators are stupid as Pete wants him to be realistical and Goofy's name is now Pete, so you can tell where this angle is going now. Goofy calls him Pete; and Pete wants to be called by his middle name. Goofy asks what his middle name is and Pete says "Goofy". Really? Okay; this proves how much of an asshole Pete is; because he hates Goofy and yet his middle name is called Goofy? That's self-hate, folks! Goofy likes it because it has a familiar ring to it as Pete bails and that is that. So yeah; the story is that Pete is Goofy and Goofy is Pete.
Yeah, whatever; let's go to Pete's house BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as we head inside Pete's living room as Pete makes a lot of BS claims to Peg sitting on the arm of a yellow sofa. Peg is either not impressed; or wondering like "Am I believing this crap?". Apparently; Pete is claiming that Goofy has chronic worship of him; which Peg does the Gruffi pose on full blast, while Pete claims that they have to be gentle like according to some quack doctor. Peg's response is classic and I don't need to repeat it here. Pete claims that despite their down and downs but if a fish and Goofy were drowning, he would save Goofy. Yes you would; with the little caveat that Peg would be RIGHT THERE to make sure of it. Pete then admits that he would save him right after the fish right in front of Peg. Peg, who would normally catch him on that, is confused. WHAT?! Pete claims that he is going to allow Goofy to stay at the house for a few days to let him get over his mental anguish. Peg is not happy about this; as if she gets that this is BS. Pete is touching Peg away stage left and even putting the guilt shame on her claiming that she doesn't want to be responsible for Goofy going off the deep end. I'll tell you what Pete; you're scummy plans always seem to go into the deep end and never come back. Peg finally relents and walks off with her nose in the air; basically wiping her hands clean of this. I don't blame her; I'm getting tired of this show and these Pete schemes. Pete acts like a devilish man as we head to outside Pete's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Goofy makes it to the door with a pillow, a fishing rod, a broken tennis racket and a bird cage. Why does he have a pillow with him? He rings the doorbell (which there is no sign of one anywhere) and Pete answers the door and throws him in so Goofy cannot escape to bring in Waffles, because Goofy set the mousetraps. Sadly; he has completely forgot about Max at this point; although we haven't seen Max nor PJ since these two stiffs stiffed them on the cookies. Goofy of course messes up and Pete gets in his face and...ah; here comes Max and PJ with the boxes of cookies now.
Pete screams in Goofy's face, Goofy is confused, Pete facepalms and PJ asks why this is happening. You got all that? Max is confused, Pete screams, Goofy is sitting in the chair and according to Pete, desecrating. Yeah; because in storyline, Pete believes in goof cooties. In comes Peg actually talking nice to Pete in order to get him to stop acting like an asshole and Pete almost bites her head off before catching himself and pushes Goofy onto the chair. The animation made it look like he pushed him in between Goofy's legs and his arm looked like a very long dick. No one can accuse me of having a clean, healthy mind, that is for sure. Goofy thanks Goofy for it and it sounds so condescending that Pete still cringes in disgust over it. Scene change to Goofy, who has taken his shoes and socks on; and has pink bunny slippers on. Goofy is snoring; so this is the time for Max and PJ to bring in the cookies and let Goofy smell them. Goofy pushes them aside because he has to watch his figurine, so to speak. PJ claims that he never worries about his figurine, except right now because if he doesn't, PJ will be Burt's new son. Goofy then starts to eat a cookie as Max has a notepad to start a tab for him. Uh-oh! I think we all know where this is going. Jump cut to the kitchen table as there is a turkey with a knife and fork sticking out of it as we are watching the most idiotic football game ever. Just listen to the announcer here; he's so off on his call. THIS call from a football game is much better and much more accurate, too! HA-YUCK! Pete is literally drooling on cue as Peg comes in asking what is gnawing him since he refuses to eat his turkey. Pete of course is protesting Goofy's watching of television as Goofy yells to Peg for more soda pop. Pete then simply storms off and proclaims that he's going next door to meditate. Goofy then one up's Pete in the troll department by telling Pete to feed Waffles and calls Pete a goofball. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good one, Goofy; good one.
Pete growls and I wait with baited breath to hear the mousetraps snap like crazy. Surprisely; this hasn't happen in this segment. Yet. Pete growls and head inside to fling the door open and wakes up Waffles. Pete pants as he tries to rationalize this because there is still two days left to go before it's all over. Pete stalks Waffles and that's enough for Waffles to run like a scalded cat upstairs as Pete blows off Goofy for sitting in his chair and taking his name. Because you see; it's NEVER Pete's fault that he stole Goofy's name to get easy money. Baloo's schemes are much more ethical than this losers schemes. Pete goes on and on as he continues to stalk Waffles into the basement; which Waffles then proceeds to run back into the house and the door is slammed shut. Pete tries to open the door; but it has locked himself. Pete protests this outrage; the floor above the stairs breaks and Pete gets WARNERED as a result. Pete crashes off-screen, screams for help and that ends the segment nearly nineteen minutes in. Yes folks; despite Goofy saying that moustraps were set; not one mousetrap snapped during this segment, which was supposed to be the punchline of the segment. Pete should be clubbing BS&P before he ever touches Goofy in my humble opinion.
After the commercial break; we head to Pete's house and head to the kitchen as Goofy calls Peg a lint ball where eating pancakes with PJ as PJ looks mightly confused. Goofy pigs down on the pancakes as Peg is whisper yelling to PJ that Goofy is unbearable to her. PJ defends Goofy by claiming that he gives a better allowance. Well; that's code word for: He's actually buying our cookies. Goofy asks for more marmalade and wheat-germ pancakes, because he loves them of course. So we scene change to Goofy's house as Pete is still complaining about trying to get the hell out of a lobster trap. Oh wait; it's BS&P stepping in because you cannot say "death trap" anymore, it seems. Jump cut to Pete in the basement raiding a fridge, for no reason. Pete then turns around and sees the moustrap with a block of Swiss Cheese on it and it turns into a giant block of Swiss Cheese in a bowl of salad according to Pete. Pete is so delluisonal as he walks towards it and a mouse arrives doing the Gruffi pose. Ummm; Pete is doing YOU a favor there, little one. Pete's thumb gets trapped, the cheese snaps back, lands in the mouse's left hand and Pete screams. Now thank him, mouse; even if he's a scoiopathetic scumbag. Pete pulls the trap and there is thumping in the thumb, but no redness; so he's fine. Pete is desparate for food and discovers a tin of either tuna or Waffles' cat food. Either answer is acceptable now as this is just overbooked now and it's time to mercy kill this episode now. It's French Gourment Cat Food and it's all his, according to Pete. There is one problem with this idea: No can opener. So Pete falls to his knees and sobs loudly. Speaking of overbooking; we now have Pete trying to open the can open with the piping inside Goofy's house after failing to use the block holder on the wood bench earlier which Pete failed to notice. The pipes break and Pete gets sprayed in the face with hot water as a result; since it was over the hot water heater. The place floods now as Pete continues to scream for help as morning has arisen outside of Goofy's house. Scene change to Peg in the living room coming down the stairs as Max and PJ walk in with tons of boxes of cookies.
Yeah; I know where this is going: Goofy eats the boxes of cookies and gets so fat within two days that when Burt arrives with his crew, he's screwed. Max and PJ walk stage left to the backyard as Goofy is in the pool off-screen by the way. Doorbell rings and Peg answers it to reveal Burt with camera and microphone as Burt shakes hands with her and talks like a pervert. Peg asks who the hell he is and what the hell he wants as we scene change back to Goofy's kitchen as the door flings open and out comes Pete in a basement flood as we see Goofy in the backyard -- weighing about ten times more than when we last saw him -- in the backyard pool reading the same magazine and wearing the same outfit Pete was wearing at the beginning of the episode! How about that?! Goofy panics as the giant wave comes out of Goofy's house and swamps the backyard of Pete's causing Goofy to swamp out of the pool and land next to Pete on their bellies like humans coming out of the water after getting swamped by a giant wave. Oh wait...Okay; Goofy eating and gaining two hundred pounds in two days might be unrealistic; but it's a lot more believable than what we are going to get here. So, Peg comes out of the backyard with Burt and informs Pete (which is Goofy; which I don't care because at least this episode is going to have a finish) and then is shocked and appalled. Now; I would be appalled by the vandalism that happened in my backyard caused by Goofy (which is Pete; which I don't care because at least this episode is...you guessed it) here; but nope! She's appalled because Goofy has Pete's weight and Pete's weight is like Goofy's now. Yes; Pete lost weight and didn't have to put up a facade anymore because he legit lost the weight. But since Goofy is Pete and Pete is Goofy; the contract has been breached anyway. No one can believe this and Burt panics on cue; blows off the deal and storms off stage left. Good; that is how it should end! Everyone is confused, except me because I don't care. It's a finish and the only one I'll accept; so there you go.
So here's the finish: Pete then notices that he's skinny and runs to the front to inform Burt that there is a misunderstanding and that he is the real Pete. And he's right; but it don't matter because Goofy comes in and claims that he's Pete. More localized confusion arises from this because Goofy doesn't know when to quit acting as Burt has a headache and declares them both Goofy. Goofy then asks what does that make Peg? Oh god, Goofy enough of the trolling already! The angle is DEAD, D-E-D! Pete gets on his knees begging for mercy; and Goofy continues to troll on him. Burt blows them off and threatens to call the police on Pete if he doesn't let go. Burt then pushes Pete off of him anyway and storms off stage left. Pete turns around and is ready to murder Goofy legit, blowing him off because he's PETE DAMMIT! Missing comma intentional, honest! Pete is stopped by PJ and Max who inform him that he is owed $300 for cookies. HAHA! Pete is confused and then gets pissed off and chases Goofy yelling at him like he's demanding a country song being played backwards. You know the joke about a country song being played backwards? You get your wife back, your house back, your food back, your name off, your television back...etc. and etc. Max and PJ follow Pete because they want their money of course as Peg stands there sighing that things are back to normal; but she's not confident that he can keep that weight off. I give it a week after Goofy and Pete stop running there Peg as we circle fade out to end the episode at 21:19. Just a dumb weight lost episode that went on forever and it felt sad in places, rather than being funny. It also doesn't help that there are three more episodes doing this plotline and one of them is on the DVD set I'm reviewing right now. Call it ** 1/4 (45%); because hell, I feel generous. Oh; and there was no Dutch Spackle anywhere in this episode; I assume Burt was voiced by Michael Bell.
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; it took them long enough to getting into fat shaming Pete in this cartoon. Again; this episode was below average because it's just another Pete scheme and he was scheming another scumbag like Burt (I just love the defense Burt gave that he knows scam artists, as if he's just speaking from experience. That's very rich.) so I had no sympathy for either one of them. The animation was pretty good for the much part and Goofy's trolling was kind of cute, but the main angle went on forever and the whole cookie delivery angle was pretty much time filler and an excuse for the finish to occur, so there really wasn't anything to write home about. Peg also seemed dumber than usual as well. Overall; just another Pete scheme in a series of them and it was very boring to me now. So...
Thumbs down for this episode and I'll see you all next time.