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Calling All Goofs

Reviewed: 05/09/2017

This Show Might Soon Be Over!


Well; for me at least. I'm almost glad that this tedious series is over, (well for now anyway) but at least this episode will be dandy as Pete screws Goofy out of a vacation to meet his family, so Peg basically tells Pete that he's going to hell and hell is bringing his family members to Spoonerville. HA! I am so loving this as a plot. So, how does this episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?!

This episode is written by Marion Wells. The story is edited by Karl Geurs and the late Bruce Talkington. The animation was provided by Wang Film Productions.


We begin this one with an orange/yellow title and public domain music playing at Goofy's house. Oh; and a dog is barking, cannot forget that. The front door opens and out comes Goofy with the TICKLE TRUNK OF DEATH, struggling as Goofy proclaims that they need to hurry up because if they miss their next flight, they'll have to wait ten years for the next family reunion of the Goof clan. So yes; their last name is indeed Goof. Out comes Max and PJ will oversized suitcases as PJ calls Goofy worked up. Max points out that Goofy hasn't seen them since he was a kid as Goofy ties the tickle trunk onto the roof of the car. Max gives Goofy a suitcase and of course, they have never seen Max(ie); so there's that. Goofy doesn't want to disappoint them; which I don't think is possible with Goofy at this point as Goofy grabs a second suitcase and has weak knees and sweating profusely. Goofy still manages to put the suitcase in the jeep and we go through the checking process as PJ has the house key for this; which Goofy proclaims that this will be a great reunion. Max asks if he has the money for the tickets and of course Goofy has forgotten and runs into the house. He goes through the entire house, collecting money as he claims that he sold fleas to a flea circus and sold candy wrappers for a penny a ton. He found two hundred dollars (with some of them in a roll container of icing) as Max is jumping up and down since the plane leaves in twenty minutes. Goofy gets in the car along with Max as they buckle up. Max thanks PJ for feeding Waffles and tells them to call them at Aunt Goofhelia's Aardvark Ranch in Tiera Del Foongo. I think it's supposed to be Tierra Del Fuego; which is an archipelago off the southernmost tip of the South American mainland, across the Strait of Magellan. I don't know if Disney Captions knows what they are doing, or it's a trademark issue (even though this show is supposed to take place in the anthro version of the real world. Also; Max's aunt is Aunt Goophelia; which I would argue against since her name is supposed to have Goof in it; thus my translation of the name. Goofy backs out of the driveway and they drive away while PJ waves at them.

So the jeep decides after dozens of episodes to cough, wheeze and spit out metal parts as Goofy panics because this is the absolute last thing he wanted to happen. Undertaker music plays as Max points out the red oil leaking censor light and tells Goofy to turn off the engine. They bounce and stop right near to Pete's used auto car lot of course and the two goofs get out of the car and yell for Pete's help as he puts ribbons in a picture frame on a cherry red car with wooden sides and a broken down front bumper. Goofy and Max push the car into the car lot as Goofy informs Pete that his car is sick. Pete seems happy to see this for some reason. By the way; we aren't even two minutes in and they have wasted ten minutes already! Pete takes off his suit coat and rolls his sleeves as he checks the back of the engine and pulls out more stuff and discovers that there is a screw loose. Oh, come on; Pete! No one's buying that you aren't referencing Goofy in saying that. Even Goofy thinks Pete is working him; so you know Pete has no clarification skills whatsoever. Pete blows him off and points out that his engine has a screw loose. I'm still confused and I'm not Goofy. See what happens when you hate people for no reason, Pete?! Pete offers to fix it for a dollar and Goofy brings out the MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Pete gets dollar signs in his eyes and starts to destroy the engine; because we have to make it like Pete is scheming on Goofy in every episode, even though the first legit repair would assure Goofy would have missed his flight, let alone be able to pay the two hundred dollar airplane tickets. So yeah; Pete is making up repairs as it comes along and this would have worked a lot better if Pete was the one who sabotaged Goofy's car to begin with; instead of this being a mere mechanical failure, or an act of God. I'm just saying. Pete asks how much they have and Goofy brings out the two hundred wet dollars; which is the price of two tickets; making the whole thing look more obvious that it didn't matter if Pete screwed them out of their money. Max is not liking this at all as Pete takes the money and drags Goofy into his office for some H2O and that is that.

So we head back to Goofy's house BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as Goofy drags himself into the house while Max drags out luggage; both looking mightly defeated as then in driving like a mad person and stopping at the driveway is a large van driven by Peg. Peg asks Max what the hell happened here as the far shot showed her pissed off while the closeup showed her looking gravely concerned. Worse; the next shot shows PJ coming out of nowhere for no reason as Max proclaims that they missed the reunion while their car broke down. It took all of their money to fix it because the car had an acid upset battery problem which Peg does the Gruffi pose and claims that it's a bloated repair bill. You know Marion; if you want me to believe that Pete is a scumbag who ruined the family reunion for the two; maybe you should have Pete admit that he sabotaged the car, then it would make what Peg is going to do have some justification. Otherwise; you're making Peg look like an asshole. Peg gets out and claims that Pete is NOT going to get away with this as the babyfaces walk into the house as Goofy has disappeared for no reason. We also discover that the family reunion is for Max's grandfather, whose name is Gooferamus G. Goof. Peg goes to the kitchen and gets on the phone as she tells Max to write down the family's addresses and for PJ to start a shopping list. Peg is on the phone calling a 1-800 number and wire a telegram to inform Max's family members and all the Goofs we can find. Which is four of them by the way and they are heading to Spoonerville for the family reunion, BABEE! Personally; I like this gesture, but I would love it even more if Pete had sabotaged the car to begin with; which he didn't. Peg is dumping out stuff for cash as Max loves this idea, but then recoils because someone has to pay for it. Now; who will pay for this, could it be...Pete? Because Pete overcharged them on an otherwise legit repair that would assure the two goofs that they would not get on the plane to begin with. I realize Pete is a scumbag; but he didn't cause the car to break down in storyline. Even Max is questionning this decision as Peg laughs it off; because it would ruin the surprise.

So we fade to black and return with Peg and Pete sleeping in their beds AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the doorbell rings. Pete is snoring and then he wakes up one-eyed. Pete gets out and gets into his bunny slippers wonder who in the name of insomnia woke him up as he walks out of the room and down the stairs towards the door. The lights are turned on by Pete as he opens the door. We then see Goofy dressed up like a grandmother...POW! OUCH! Ummm...Oh wait; this must be Aunt Goofhelia complete with green pantyhose with phalic symbols on the knees, two frying pans on a belt, white apron, blue dress, Ilana Ruxpin hairstyle with blue needle, lipstick on the lips and a spatula greeting Pete with redneck chuckle (voiced by Bill Farmer) as Pete tells her to peddle her pots elsewhere and calls her a walking nightmare. Geez; you are really lazy with the projection there, Pete. Pete slams the door as Peg comes down and invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH as the doorbell rings some more, which Pete blows off Goofhelia as a supperware lady. Pete; the pointy finger can put eyes out more than the fingerpoke of doom, I would answer the door. Pete opens the door and Peg believes that this is Aunt Goofhelia. Geez Peg; how do you know it's her? It could be Goofy cross-dressing as her aunt. Of course; it'a Aunt Goofhelia as she looks so happy to see Peg and Pete. Peg and Goofhelia hug Pete which causes Pete to be whacked in the face with a frying pan. This spot is the thing I love to point out to ECW mutants who defend ECW as not being a cartoon, despite doing such cartoon spots as hitting people with frying pans. This is the reason why it's been often called "violent crap" because that is what ECW was. Pete's mouth is shut as a result as Goofhelia proclaims that she brought her portable kitchen for cooking her family dishes. Because, why not? One of her dishes is Torpedo Chicken which can sink any strong stomach. Peg shows her the kitchen and is thrilled to hear this (sort of); as she can dump the stuff in the kitchen. Pete grabs Peg by the arm and we have a whisper yell conference. I'm fine with this since it's not like the plan needs to be a secret.

Peg claims that it's just a party in which Pete asks why at two am in the morning. Pete gets steamed and then spasms like mad as the doorbell rings again. Is this a symptom of the dreaded "Goof cooties" Pete keeps claiming exists? Because to the average person; this is symptoms of insecurity. Occam Razor says so and it never lies, doesn't it? Peg pushes Pete to the door and Pete answers it to reveal Goofy in army gear addressing himself as Pattonleather Goof (Jim Cummings), who is reporting for reunion duty. Remind me to never hire him as my security advisor, his security has as many holes as Michael Flynn's security plans for Donald Trump. Pattonleather throws his army duffel bag into Pete, Pete bounces and lands into the luggage of Aunt Goofhelia loaded with pots and pans. Lovely! Goofhelia gets coy about Pattonleather's training techinques which makes couch potatoes into limp spaghetti. They hug and Pete get stomped in the head in the process. Pete has a strainer on his head as Pattonleather claims that he has almost the whole country in shape. Well; he did say 'almost'. Geez; I wonder who's the only guy who is out of shape here. As Bray Wyatt would yell to Pete right now: "Run!". Pete doesn't and gets smacked around by Pattonleather as he is so honest about it that he is blowing Peg's cover in the process. Peg tells Goofhelia where the kitchen is as Pete demands answers to this outrage and before Peg can answer/scream at Pete; the doorbell rings again. Pete thinks that they look like Goofy and Peg claims that the family resemblance is quite uncanny. You don't say?! Peg goes to answer to door this time as Pete does some facial ticks and then asks to know what is going on here. In comes another Goofy driving a flying motorcycle wearing a lab coat, brown pants, brown shoes and has white facial hair with out of control hair on his head. His motorcycle is pink in color by the way as Peg deduces that this is Cousin Werner Von Goof. Since he's a scientist; he also wears glasses and bowls over Pete again. Okay; Werner's the best Goof of the four in this reunion right there folks.

Werner lands on Pete's back after Pete panics and talks with a bad German accent (Frank Welker) and cuts a promo about saving billions of hours of drudgery, starting with the stove and wants some really fast food. Pete panics and pleads for him to stop because he's done enough damage in spite of not doing any damage whatsoever. Peg tells him to sod off because that's no way to treat guests. Peg pokes Pete in the nose on the way out as Pete is fuming because that implies that they are staying here; and he refuses it because he'll get Goof cooties. Or something as Peg claims that they are only staying until the reunion which confuses Pete. Pete is about to walk; when he is ordered to freeze and in comes Goofy in messed up artist gear as he is Michael Angelo Goof; or M. Angelo Goof (Rob Paulsen); because if you say the full name; the Mirage legal department will get pissed off; even though Michaelangelo the painter is public domain to begin with. Pete's pose is so goofy; that only a Goof would see this a smudge of post-cubicle expressionism, a splatter of la-de-dada (he speaks from experience, I see; judging by his outfit) and he goes to an out of nowhere easel, brings out his painting tools and starts fingerpainting in such a way that I wouldn't be surprised if we break logic and he paints a realistic Pete instead of blobs of purple colors like he is right here. See Oscar turning flour and roses into baked cookies in Fish Hook in Flores Doraes Gorgous. We see the result and it's neither, as it's post-modern art with a purple splott on the canvas. He's also got a bad French accent as he gives the orginal portait to Pete and thanks him for being generous. What a tool Michael Angelo Goof is?! Pete even more so. Pete lands on his ass as this will someday be worth a small fortune to be pay for the reunion for Goofy. So yes; never hire a Goof to keep a secret, they are too brutally honest to keep one. Pete stammers like a stupid idiot as Peg comes in and basically confesses that she did it to screw Pete because Pete screwed Goofy out of his money. You know; if you really want to convince me of that; you could have Pete admit that he sabotaged Goofy's car beforehand.

Don't get me wrong; I love this and all, but I would love it more if Pete actually really deserved it. And it would make more sense if Goofy had more than two hundred dollars; or the tickets cost fifty dollars a piece and they had an extra hundred dollars of spending money and then Pete screws them out of it. Because the way Marion wrote it, the broken down car wasn't Pete's fault and they wouldn't have enough money for two tickets anyway. Plus; even if there was a legit screw loose; they probably wouldn't make it to the airport anyway. This just makes Peg look more like the jerk in this setup compared to Pete; which I don't believe was what Marion intended. Michael runs in with the easel and kisses Pete for fun, and even a few of those right on the lips for good measure. Pete protests this outrage and I don't care either way. Pete shoves him and bonks into the conveniently placed easel and trips around and crashes into the kitchen cupboards. Peg comes in and tells Pete to stay out of the way if he isn't going to help them. Pete gets up and he's pissed as he is going to help get them out yesterday and getting into Peg's face. Peg gets in Pete's face and basically threatens to divorce him for this which backs Pete down as he is just a stupid idiot now. Pete asks when the reunion is and Peg claims that it's high noon tomorrow. Which Pete checks his watch and claims that it's nine hours away as he slumps down...

John Cena: That is balderdash! Nine hours away, that's insane! It's...twenty one hours away, right?!

Ummm; yes, since high noon means "midnight". So we head to the living room with Peg giving the Goofs white sheets for bed, not for a KKK convention! Just so you need to know. So Werner will sleep on the sofa and the rest will sleep in the bedrooms as Pistol and PJ watch on and then the kids bail so they can call Max on it. Peg then declares that someone has to sleep on the floor. Pete backs up instantly; steps on Chainsaw's bowl of dogfood, trips and goes through the basement door; bounces down the stairs and lands in a box of toys asleep and knocked out. Peg confirms Pete's resting place and closes the door and that is that. Fade to black and head to Max's room as Max is asleep in his bed. The green phone rings on the top drawers (NOT THOSE ONES!) as Max answers the phone, and it's PJ to inform them that they are here and Max is happy as we circle fade out to end the segment nine and a half minutes in. I like this episode so far; but not as much as I used to due to the tiny problem with the booking. However; let's see how the rest of the episode is shaping up before I decide to not mark out on Pete getting screwed here. Oh; and I noticed that the grandfather has not arrived yet. Huh...

After the commercial break; we head back to the hallway of Pete's house as Pete comes out stumbling and holding his head as he wants a Goof-free cup of coffee. Can we give him a Super Loaded Personality Transplant Coffee instead?! Goofhelia grabs him and we head to the kitchen and I'm sadden that Michael Angelo Goof is not strumming on a banjo. Why not a redneck French artist?! Goofhelia puts Pete on a stool (NOT THAT ONE!) in front of the stove island as she puts a bib on Pete and feeds him her special fire hot chili. Almost a bowl full in fact as Pete's mouth is literally on fire now. And then she spoons ANOTHER one into Pete's mouth causing alarm bells to ring and this somehow puts the fire out and burns Pete's tongue to ashes. Scene change to Goofy in his living room, sniffling and looking at a picture of his family as he steps on a spinning stool (NOT THAT ONE!) and tries to hang a B&W picture of the family members on the wall above the fireplace; but he's so distraught that he misses the nail completely, missed his fingers completely and spins around on the stool and is forced to sit on his ass holding the picture. Goofy cannot find the hammer and we get a BALLOON OF CHILD CORRUPTING DOOM with a hammer and a sarcastic symbols inside it. Hey, stop stealing my gimmick, show! Jump cut back to Pete slowly struggling to get back up in the kitchen as Goofhelia is now making hot salsa tea and pouring it from a yellow tea kettle into a cup. I don't know if Goof Cooties exist; but I do know Gedo's fashion sense when I see it. Pete bails to the fridge and opens it to reveal a freezing glass jug of ice cold water. Ummm; unless you put it in the freezer, ice cold water doesn't look like that. Peg then cuts him off and drags him off to see what Goofy wants because apparently, Goofy wants Pete. She even accuses him of stuffing his face. What a sadist?! He just wants some water! Since when does water make you fat?! Peg pushes him to the front door as Pete is told to tell Goofy to leave until noon and not tell him anything about the reunion even if he has to take him to Disneyland.

So Pete is pushed out the door and the door is shut as Goofy asks Pete to borrow his hammer. At this point; I would give him what he wants. Hell; I would have awkward conversations with Goofy, since better the devil you know, then the four devils you really don't know. Not including Peg now. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Good one Peg; good one. I suspect Pete will be stupid and not do any of this. Pete invokes the flamethrower spot on cue of course. Goofy suspects something and is in tears, bringing out the hanky and blowing his nose as Pete is struggling to stop breathing fire. Goofy claims that he's having visions of Aunt Goofhelia's fire breath chili claiming yet another victim. Pete gets the CHEAP HEAT OF PAIN (because it's not suppose to be funny) as Goofy decides to bail stage right and forget about the hammer. And all of his fingers are cheering with glee. Goofy walks out of sight as Pete runs in a panic and finds the conveniently placed garden hose. He grabs it and fills his belly with dirty water and of course in a cartoon, water really does make you look really fat. Pete is so bloated as he walks to his front door and opens it. Of course; he's stuck because he's just TOO FAT. Geez; how much salt was in that water? Pete squeezes through the door and bounces in right in front of Pattonleather; who might have the best band name in the 1990's ever. I love where this is going now. Pete gushes water and Pattonleather pushes Pete accusing him of gaining a hundred pounds overnight. More like three minutes. Did I just say? Oh, never mind. A note about my ranting style: The last episode I do in a run like this; I tend to get a million times more annoying than usual and just go all the way with a rant to the point where even the ranter reading it afterwards gets sick of it. Pattonleather drags him into the living room and orders a thousand pushups with a boon box on his back. Only a boon box? That sounds way too generous even for me.

Thankfully; this stereo weights more than Pete and Pete can barely do one as the water is squeezed out of his body. Pete's back is screaming and we are screaming for joy seeing this, so screw him. Pattonleather is now on top of the stereo as we discover that Pattonleather is also a quack doctor as this is the first sign of terminal sedentaryitis. Well; if you want to get really medical about the lifestyle; I guess this sounds about right. So Pattonleather's gimmick is that he sounds like a scientist, but he's just a dumb redneck army guy who tries to sound smart. Pete is confused as Pattonleather points out that his joints will lock, blood hardens and only killer calisthenics can save him. They better be much better than Caron's version of it in Chargeman Ken; although I can at least believe in Pete bargining into a ladies room. Pattonleather invokes the riding crop on Pete's ass and we start doing the pushups of doom as Pete is being tortured and he's not even being waterboarded; even though this kind of thing might be worse than waterboarding. Ponder that for a moment. Pete does about ten pushups and then gives up. That seems to be enough for Pattonleather as he throws Pete out into the living room and yells at him to do the bunny hop around the block. Sounds reasonable to me. This is done to prevent SEAMEN~Tification. I guess this is the city version of Pertification. Pete is hopping as Peg comes out with a box of party flavors and clown horns. She then accuses PETE of weaseling his way out of helping her. Pete is stammering like a stupid idiot; instead of just saying that Pattonleather wants him to do a bunny hop around the block. If I was smart; I would just tell her the truth because it would be on Pattonleather's orders. Of course; it doesn't matter, it's not like Peg is buying what Pete sells anyway since Pete is a money grubbing scumbag. Peg stuffs a green balloon in his mouth and tells Pete to blow on them. Are we going to accuse Pete of doing a blowjob like that balloon spot in Gumball now? Jump cut to Goofy on the green sofa looking at the photo album looking defeated. I should note that the photo album is completely blank with no pictures in it. Goofy hears a noise and goes to the window as we see Pete on the sidewalk bunny hopping and blowing up balloons at the same time. Pete hates it as he trips and splats off-screen as Goofy shakes his head because it reminded him of Pattonleather, his uncle. Goofy checks his watch and claims that he is out for his morning rights about now; which Michael is decorating the place for the reunion.

Then we jump cut to Michael showing off his secret art painting techinques to Pistol while wearing goggles. Michael stirs a bucket of orange paint and cuts promos about being absurd while throwing paint on the giant screen television. I'm surprised Pistol isn't grinning from ear to ear here. Wang Films coloring stylist credtiability streak continues as when Pistol gains the bucket of paint, it's green colored now, for no reason. Pistol is tossing paint like there's no tomorrow (way to stick it to Pete there, man) as this is more fun than finger painting Pete's car. And damn; I wish she actually did that in the series now as Max and PJ come in with colored ribbons which I thought were Slinkys for a second there. Pistol spins around as the front door opens and Pete is RIGHT THERE to get splooshed with green paint, and I laughed. Everyone stops and looks like they had a food fight and the police have come to break it up now. Michael claims that Pete is a natural. He's a natural all right; an all natural asshole! Pete asks what the hell has Michael done and Michael calls this a masterpiece. It sure is; a masterpiece in making a mess and encouraging junk science execs to encourage this sort of behavior in every episode of modern cartoons without any context, logic nor reason. Pete is screaming so loud that the door is warping and it prevent Goofy from opening it, natch. Everyone does the worst sell job of covering their ears, and it looks like they are more ashamed than in pain. We hear Goofy call out for Pete as Pete heads out as Goofy is shocked by Pete's look. Pete insists that he's working on an art project with PJ. Man; what a savage half-truth that was?! Goofy is disappointed because Uncle Angelo was going to do one with Max. Goofy feels bad, but decides not to interfere with artistic genius, and he's going to get to that reunion somehow. Pete turns around and heads inside as the living room is messier and messier by the second. Pistol runs in and talks a mile a minute on Pete again as Pistol wants Pete to help; but Pete goes upstairs because he has to change, and there is two more hours left as he is going into the shower to take the longest bath and shave in history. Riiiigggghhhtttt. There are people who have taken 11-24 hour baths; I'm not fooled, Pete Pete. Just like you being unable to understand the difference between noon and high noon.

Pete opens the shower curtain and in the bath tub is Werner with an eyeball radar device which sprays a cannon shot of water right at Pete and Pete flies into the wall, hard. Pete is screaming and panicky as Pete tries to bail and opens another door as Werner seems to have the Z-grade move teleport working overtime today as he brings out the out of nowhere red supersoaker with toothbrush on the end because he loves clean teeth. Why is there a weather vane on top of the super soaker. Other than "He did it to be Werner Von Goof!"; because that would be stealing Doctor Axelotte's gimmick. Pete bails and rips the toilet seat off as Pete takes a toothbrush in the bum; ala the elf getting shot there in Gauntlet. Pete screams for help on cue as the toothbrush buzzsaws through the toilet seat cover and bores a hole through it. OUCH! Pete bails down the steps and makes it to the front door as he's tired and cannot take it anymore. Peg comes out right on cue and gives Pete a list of food about half the length expected as it's basically two weeks as Pete protests this because the reunion is at high noon which is in an hour and fifteen minutes. Peg claims that it's just the beginning. Okay; if you are going to extend the angle, just tell him that high noon is at midnight, not noon. Okay; I know high noon and noon are interchangable, so what? At least high noon being at midnight makes a difference in the cartoon and you can screw Pete that way. It's not like he can stand the Goofs NOW! Pete is panicky as we head into Pete's bedroom as he is reading newspapers on the bed proclaiming that he needs to get rid of the Goofs, because Pete is an asshole who never learns that his scheming got into this mess. It's a perfect storm of apathy, stupidity and insanity. Oh wait; that's Chargeman Ken. Pete rips the ad and proclaims that there is a cargo ship heading to Tierra Del Funego which leaves at noon for cheap as he dials a phone (speaking of being dirt cheap...) as the name of the service is Slime O'the Sea as Pete proclaims that he is going to trick them into believing that they are taking them on a trip to the Spoonerville harbour. Har har! That ends the segment fifteen and a half minutes in. I love this episode in spite of the spotty booking in places.

After the commercial break; we see Pete stuffing Aunt Goofhelia into his car, as he proclaims that they are taking a tour of the harbour as he is allowing Peg and the kids to finish putting the finishing touches on the celebration. Pete gets into the front as Pattonleather gets to play the backseat driver in this outfit. Why doesn't that surprise me?! Pattonleather pushes on Pete's forehead for a while because his eyebrows need to get in shape. Listen Pattonleather; do you have a techinque to get his mental hygenie in order?! So Pete's car is out of the driveway and riding down the street as we jump cut to a window shot of Goofy on the phone with Slime O'the Sea as he is calling to gain two tickets to Tierra Del Fungeo. Wait; didn't he have only two hundred dollars for that and Pete screwed him out of it? So, what?! This to me is just an excuse to book the finish on the carego ship with the Goofs reuniting. Oh; it costs two dollars per person, paid in 20 10-cent installments. This would make more sense if Goofy had two dollars left to begin with when Pete screwed him out of his money. It's little things like this that prevent this episode from being hilarious and awesome. As is; it's just very good and funny. Goofy hangs up as it will be a few days late; but at least he'll see everyone now. Jump cut to Peg climbing down the stepladder after putting up a helium balloon of Goofy's face, which looks way too much like Max's face, but Max cannot tell the difference anyway. Max is giddy about this as Peg gives Max a black blindfold and tells him to fetch Goofy while she fetches the Goofs. So we scene change to Max entering the house, calling for Goofy as Goofy gets up from behind and blindfolds Max anyway. HAHA! That was funny as Goofy has a surprise for him. I think we all know where this is going now as Max is dragged out of the house despite Max is trying to tell Goofy something, but gets cut off anyway. Jump cut to the steel boat of doom as the Goofs all board the boat while Pete informs them that he has taken the tour a hundred times and he's going to contact Peg now and bow out. The Goofs of course buy this because they are stupid idiots.

Goofhelia thanks Pete anyway, ha-yuck! Pete gets kissed, again; but sadly, it's only once. Lipstick makes contact and Pete is disgusted by this and sputters and staggers to his car and proclaims good riddance to goofy rubbish. Of course! Pete waves goodbye; gets into his car and drives away. In comes Goofy's jeep as Goofy gets out and grabs the luggage. Max is still blindfolded asking when they get to his surprise and Goofy tells him to hold his cowlick. That sounds lewd. Jump cut to the Goofs up on a metal catwalk with two posts above the ocean liner as Pattonleather claims that he can see Goofy's house from here and claims that he would flip if he knew how close they were. Goofy drags Max on the ship, complaining as we jump cut back to the messiest living room ever...before Johnny Test did this in many, many a episode with PJ, Pistol and Peg as Peg asks how all the Goofs could vanish just like that. The irony is that the Goofs are much closer than ever NOW; then they were BEFORE Pete did this scheme. Peg gets that icky feeling and the kids proclaim that yes, Pete is a scumbag basically. What a shocker?! Oh; and speaking of the scumbag asshole, here he comes now chuckling. I think you can guess where this is going now...Peg comes out tapping her foot as Pete claims that it was a family emergency and they had to leave. Wow; Pete used Occam's Razor here. Too bad in cartoons; they don't work nearly as well as in real life. No shock; Peg shuts him up and no sells the excuse as she tells him to get them back here or else. She doesn't say "or else"; but if you recall, she said Pete would have to do everything by himself forever earlier in the episode, so there is your threat right there. Peg slams the door and Pete yells "oh mama" as we do a three way slash scene changer of doom and Pete is going aboard the ocean liner; but gets cut off by a big ass Goofy clone wearing a beige shirt, the smallest sailor hat he could find and brown pants. Pete claims that he wants some Goofs; and the sailor proclaims that he isn't going without a ticket.

Pete asks for an IOU; sailor gives him an ass kicking and kicks him into a conveniently placed box of oranges which is big enough to fit Pete inside on the docks. If more people were like this sailor, Pete would be forced to stop being a total asshole. One of the sailors on the docks is nailing a cargo box shut and then comes over, seals the orange box with nails and Pete is trapped. Someone yells to load up those crates (I assume it's the sailor who kicked Pete into the orange crate to begin with, making him look like a stupid idiot.) as the JAWS OF HALF LIFE grabs the crates and puts them on the ship. The captain calls for the anchors to rise as Goofy takes off the black blindfold off of Max, and Max is shocked and appalled as they are sailing out of Spoonerville Harbour, as they are off to TDF BABEE! Max looks sea sick as he is about to confess that the family is actually...And Aunt Goofhelia yells out that, they are here! Everyone slides down a rope and buries Goofy in a sea of Goofs causing Max to bounce away. Ha-yuck & yee-haw! So we do the meet and greet as Goofy introduces Max to the Goofs and then he asks how in the Goofdom did they get here as we see Pete bouncing on top of a box of crates and crashes onto the deck, exposing Pete with an orange in his mouth. All this needs is a fireplace and we can roast him over an open flame. Pete spits out the orange and greets them with not much emotion, which is no surprise of course. Goofhelia gets all kissy-kissy and cuddly with Pete and despite all the screwing Pete did, they did not care at all about this. They praise him for screwing them. This is the definition of apathy and insanity mixed in together. Add on stupidity and they might as well be the American version of the Izzy family from Chargeman Ken. Goofhelia hugs Pete and declares him the guest of the party as Goofy wants to make him an honorary Goof. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This might be the second funniest form of torture, ever; next to tickling of course. Pete is protesting this hugging as there was more hugging in this segment than Bayley has ever done in her career in WWE. Pete gets kissed again by Goofhelia as Pete hates this. HA!

Pattonleather and Pete do the dreaded TWO-FISTED WRAPAROUND HANDSHAKE OF DEATH as Pete gets whirlwinded for his trouble. Then he gets smacked in the back as Pete is corkscrewed as Pattonleather calls this not bad for a beginner. Goofhelia grabs Pete and asks Pete want he wants to do. Pete stammers like a stupid idiot as he notices the motor boat conveniently hanging from the ship. Pete then proclaims that to hell with what Peg thinks he cannot take this anymore. Cue picture of Yuuchi holding his head from Chargeman Ken! So for the third time in this episode alone, Pete is scheming to weasel his way out of this by playing hide and seek. He tells the Goofs to hide while he digitalizes because you see, saying count down is protected by copyright. So this is the final countdown of this series for me until the next DVD set comes out. Pete shoves Goofy anyway and gets on his knees, no peeking of course, and counts. I was deeply disappointed when I discover that the Goofs did in fact sell this and not just stand there. That would have been funnier. Pete gets up, looks around and runs upstairs to where the conveniently placed motorboat is. He jumps into it as the key is already in the slot. If you cannot guess where all the Goofs are, you have no business reading this rant. Hint: There is a white sheet in the back of the motorboat. Engines start and roar as the motorboat dives into the water and drives away as Pete thinks he's safe. Riiiiigggghhhtttt. It's either the WRAITH OF PEG or the TORTURE OF GOOF for you, Pete. Doesn't give you much wiggle room there. So Pete bounces the motorboat and it lands on the docks and then we get a lot of bouncing of the motorboat in town as we jump cut to Peg and the kids as Peg checks her watch on the sidewalk as Pete has twenty seconds left or face the doghouse again. I'm sure Pete would choose the doghouse forever at this point as Pete crashes into the front window of Goofy's house and bounces inside it off the walls off-screen. Then; the house implodes completely and crashes down, destroying it.

Peg and the kids run in as we see Pete in the motorboat dizzy as hell as Peg shakes Pete and yells at him because this is costing her a fortune. Now, now; you shouldn't be stealing Rebecca's gimmick, ha-yuck! Oh; and damn I'm so good as the Goofs all come out and they defend Pete for his actions, even though he was the one who was driving the motorboat. I can only shudder to think what a Goof lawyer would be like, he would be dumber than Matt Straver at this point. Somehow; Goofy magically appears out of nowhere despite not being in the motorboat and this causes Pete to back up and stammer like a stupid idiot. Goofy asks how he knew and Pete sobs loudly while Goofy is sobbing with him like a buddy. Aw! My heart melted. Sweet delicious tears. I wonder which ones taste better. It would like the Coke/Pepsi wars with these two. So we head in the kitchen as the babyfaces are shooting the breeze. Max blows a party flavor and makes PJ eat it. HAHA! PJ was not amused as Pistol and Michael are having fun with strawberry ice cream on the table as Pattonleather is eating steak, potatoes and peas for fun. Goofhelia wants to do some barn storming style as it will only cost Pete 1/10th of the price. If only Goofhelia, if only. But it will take a month as Pattonleather flicks his fork. Pete looks miserable; but he is not protesting at least. Goofhelia brings in a basket of dinner rolls as Pete takes one and tries to eat it. I see Goofhelia got her cooking lessons from Granni Gummi. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SPLOOSH! EWWWWWW! Ummmm... Goofhelia pinches Pete's cheek for fun like all aunts do as Michael sits in Pete's lap and wants to paint his car into a pre-primitive neo-classicism. I see he stutters as much as Pete does. Werner hugs him and wants to jet propel the satellite dish while Pattonleather wants to turn him into a marathon man. I think you are just about to, right around...Oh wait; Peg cuts them off with tapping the water glass with a knife. But wait! Peg proclaims that they are not going to some jabroni motel, oh no. They are staying here for the night as Pete panics and runs right out of the house; jumps into the motorboat; finds some out of nowhere oars and rows down the street as we circle fade out to end the episode, disc three and volume two of Goof Troop at 21:16. YAY! Pattonleather will win his wet dream fetish yet! Outside of some weak booking and the usual Wang Films mistakes, this episode was AWESOME and HILARIOUS! Sadly; this means it's very good and funny; so call it **** 1/4 (85%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Yeah; this was a great way to end the second volume of Goof Troop: Pete gets tortured for screwing a family of Goofs and Goofy out of his money. There's no way I'm not going to want to see this. And this is exactly what I got. Well; almost. Almost being that the early booking had it with Pete doing the screwjob that wasn't caused by him. It was Pete being Pete; not Pete sabotaging Goofy's car and then screwing him out of the money. Because, even if Pete didn't screw him, Goofy wouldn't have enough to make the trip and probably wouldn't have made it to the airport anyway. This also messed up the climax when Goofy booked the boat ride later on as well, although it wasn't nearly as exposed as the first part. In turn; this made Peg's actions seem a lot more mean-spirited than they should have been. Don't get me wrong; Pete deserves to get screwed for screwing Goofy for all those times, but a little tighter plotting would have helped this be a perfect episode, rather than a very good episode. Wang Films animation was sloppy at times, but it wasn't so sloppy that it ruined the flow of the episode which was really well done. The Goof family are all stereotypes, but all of them were funny and hilarious. The Michael/Pistol spots were a thing of beauty to say the least. Overall; this was a very good episode that could have been one of the best episodes of Goof Troop if it was animated a bit better and booked a bit tighter. Then again; this show isn't all that good, so it's a blessing either way. So there you go, this is the end of volume two of Goof Troop and fifty-five of the seventy-nine episodes are completed. So after 55 episodes; the tally is 12 thumbs up, 13 thumbs down, 30 thumbs in the middle. I am personally not going to go over my opinions on the subject in detail. In summary; my opinions haven't changed all that much.

Goof Troop is a tedious series to get through because nearly every episode goes on for too long. Goofy shorts are not designed to be more than ten minutes long; and streching it out over 22 minutes is just asking for trouble. Goofy's antics are also getting too repetitive at this point that I care less and less about it; so it's not as funny as it was earlier. Every episode has Pete scheming in it; although this last episode was great in spite of it because the consequences were off the charts by this show's standards. Peg and Pistol are almost nothing at this point. Pistol had a few great episodes on her own (Hot Air); but Peg's one focus episode fell really flat (Window Pains). This feels like an all-male show which is the opposite of what TaleSpin was built on where Rebecca and Molly were getting focused episodes and running with them in an awesome fashion. This feels more like a filler show and this show still has 24 episodes left, just because Goofy is more over than Baloo ever was. And the last eleven of the Disney Afternoon episodes are more of the same, minus a "Goofy Ancestor" past episode which have proven to be great and maybe one or two episodes with Max and PJ. The ABC versions on the other hand are a complete different beast altogether. Out of the thirteen episodes, only one clearly has Pete scheming as the main plot point. There is one "Goofy Ancestor" episode and the rest feature the kids and even one has Peg as the focus character (Goofin Up The Social Ladder). That right away makes the ABC episodes refreshing because it's different from the episodes in syndication. Sure; it's ABC and everything is wussified; but that's usually because of BS&P differences. When the syndication episodes featuring adults is the same thing over and over again, you get so tired of it that you are begging for BS&P to do something about it. Thus; you get this.

This also pretty much cements the executive theory that kids must be in the main event, because Goof Troop was the first sign of decline in DTVA and the Disney Afternoon had a chink in the armor; although I would argue that it happened with Darkwing Duck, but Darkwing Duck at least was fun most of the time even when the booking would tear my hair out. Personally; I don't care either way because I like great characters regardless of weither they are kids or adults. This is something most execs and critics don't understand and critics have less of an excuse for it because they are supposed to know better. Goof Troop is a crossroad series and the path lead to the downfall of Disney Afternoon when Bonkers finally reared it's ugly head and Disney was main eventing with direct television series from movies (although The Little Mermaid started it basically right around Goof Troop's run) and bringing out Gargoyles; which was laughed out of the building by Warner Brothers as an attempt to be someone else instead of themselves because the sentimental Disney cheese was wearing off and that reality sucks. It's sad; but the show must go on and it did until Quack Pack come and it took going to cartoon reality shows like Recess and a new animation style in order to get over again. Kind of like several years ago with Phineas & Ferb which brought the flat style and now we have an era where a reboot like Ducktales suddenly has a chance to be new again and get over. Even though I have no faith in them getting this so monster over that TaleSpin can come back; but at least it's getting over in spite of the flat style and I look forward to it. So that is it for Goof Troop and I'm ready to tackle on the New Disney era shows and finish Fish Hooks and Kick Buttowski, hopefully before the Father's Day Specials, and then I'm taking the summer off. I need a break from this because I'm going to be forty years old and I'm not getting any younger. I'm going to watch Ducktales 2017 as a fan when it comes out; not as a critic (well; at least until 2018) because I want to enjoy this series like I was a kid, instead of being an adult and hating it for no reason. All I can say is; good luck. So...

Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.

 

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