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Fish Hooks
Fail Fish/Funny Fish Rant
Reviewed: 01/13/2011
Stop With The Boring Fish Puns Please.....
Well; we are officially at the halfway point of Season one of Fish Hooks for rant purposes. Since there is a huge snowstorm in my area I am home today to complete the second short as Milo is failing Grade 11! Man; that's an unlucky number to be in school.....and now we go to Oscar trying to be funny and failing at it worse than Milo trying to fail Grade 11! Yeah; let's rant on shall we...?!
Fail Fish is written and storyboards are done by Ian Wasseluk. The story is done by Tim McKeon and directed by William Reiss. Funny Fish is written and storyboard are done by Clayton Marrow, story is done by Andy Rheingold with direction done by Carl Greenblatt. All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
Fail Fish: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Tutoring. Riiiiggghhhhhttttt Bud. I wonder what that involves?) as Bud is using Febreze on the tank containing the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and then sprays the stuff in his armpits. Considering that the stuff is usually safe; it's all right. Although there have been rumblings of it being unsafe for household pets; so the pedlum of stupidty swings back to his determit as a pet store owner. We then zoom in to the tank and then head to Mr. Baldwin's class. Mr. Baldwin is showing us a toilet today. Oh; this lecture might actually be interesting for a change. And yes folks; Clamantha is in this one too (along with Bo Gregory too). See; this is how Shellon won the battle of the Water Loo. I see Baldwin hasn't have his Seanut Butter Coffee today as Milo rushes him in a blur to the window because there is a bunny rabbit watching them. How did this fish pass Grade ONE; I'll never know. So Baldin uses the ASS PINK CLIPPER OF DEATH to reel him in. Okay that is extremely disturbing even for me. Baldwin unhooks him because it's learning time and not look at the bunny time. Milo gets it while rubbing his ass and then floats over and embraces Milo and Bea. Milo does some squiggyness to waste time much to the disdain of Baldwin....Milo might not have much of an attention span; but it's still better than Fanboy and Chum Chum's which have zero attention spans.
Anyhow; Baldwin is annoyed but continues his lecture (I wonder if the school really knows how inappros it is to talk about a battle involving a toilet) and then gets annoyed because Milo is doing Bea's hair. Naturally; he blows off Milo instead of the one who wanted her hair done in the first place; Bea because she is a girl and in the new Disney; you DON'T defame females. That is being sexist see and that's worse than being called a racist see (although context wise; that wouldn't be sarcastic). So Baldwin invokes the pop quiz and Milo is busy in the back of the room dressing up the skeleton. The scariest thing about this is that Milo is smart enough to keep his mouth shut throughout the thing. Fanboy & Chum Chum cannot even do THAT. Oh and he's French kissing the skeleton which is just plain creepy and very close to necrophilia than Rebecca making love with William Stansbury. Yeah; the skeleton is probably fake; but that didn't stop HHH Kane from making love with a doll of Katie Vick. So Baldwin wants Milo to see him after class and Oscar and Bea realize that this is trouble.
Scene changer (Wow; it's the crappy WUZZLE CLOCK SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM today) as Baldwin is sitting on the desk while Milo is in a bag of water. Seriously; that is where Milo is in. Baldwin needs to talk and Milo thinks he is having trouble with the ladies. Baldwin agrees with him; but he wants to talk about Milo instead because he's failing this class. Yeah; it's the pilot episode from Fanboy & Chum Chum; only with a more over character than both those losers combined. This would be fun if this plotline wasn't so overplayed. So if Milo fails tomorrow's final exam; he's staying in Grade 11 BABEE! Milo is SHOCKED and APPALLED and then does the Gruffi pose as a dare because he's so awesome that Baldwin wants to keep him. Riiiiiggggghhhhttttt Milo. Baldwin pushes him aside because he stopped laughing in 1986. Must be after finding out that he was having a baby too. Baldwin tells Milo to study like he's never studied before so he can save Baldwin for him....ERRRR....I mean Milo saves himself from another year with Baldwin. Same thing basically. Milo of course is still not quite getting the message like the idiot that he is because he thinks Baldwin is funny despite Baldwin's inability to laugh. I'll give Baldwin this; he may be no Mossiery nor Pomeroy; but he's no Miss Finster. In short: BORING~! Milo wants some lunch now as he goes to the door and brusts the bag of water that he's in and it pops in Baldwin's kisser. HAHA! Baldwin is SERIOUS BABEE!
Milo then floats in the hallway complete with Hana Barbara running sound effect. Wow; they are STILL using Horta Editorial sound effects still? We pan left to the locker area as Bea is getting stuff from her locker and swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh my gosh. Yeah; I should stop noting them until they use different swears) asking about Baldwin as Oscar wonders if Baldwin has girl troubles. Milo admits that he has such and he's going to hold him back a year if he doesn't pass tomorrow's test. Milo thinks that this is a conspiracy to keep Milo in his class because he cannot bear to part with him. Oscar and Bea panic because it's horrible news see because it will hurt his chances of getting into a good college (Bullcrap! I was held back about five times in Special Ed before going to Grade 7 and got into CompuCollege) and they lose him as a friend. Milo proclaims that someone is being overdramatic while ironically being overdramatic. I see the Bea syndrome is infecting Milo today. Oscar then reveals that accroding to DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) of the school; people in different grades cannot be friends and Milo calls it crazy talk. I agree with him because it often is in real life and then here comes a red/pink fish with good teeth and a blue backwards baseball cap and curly hair as he agrees with Oscar and Bea.
The fish is Kevin is voiced by Jason Earles who started as cameo kids in MadTv, Still Standing and The Shield in 2003 before appearing as Thomas Gates in National Treasure and then Ernie in American Pie Presents Band Camp. His big break was as Jackson Stewart in Hannah Montana (movie and television series). Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut and his most recent credit is Holly, Jingles and Clyde 3D coming in 2011. He has 22 credits to his resume; along with 13 self credits including the 79th Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade. Yeah; a guy who was in a R-rated films goes G. That's not a condemnation; just an observation. He then shows pictures of their adventures again in Grade 10 and before that I guess including involvement with the killer cat which makes no sense since according to Fish Out Of Water; Milo's trek into the petshop was their FIRST adventure outside and Kevin was NOT involved. Oh wait; he remembers that Milo had a dog and they saved Christmas. Ummm; yeah Kevin is lying through his teeth. No wonder he failed Grade 10. He cheated and that's why no one remembers him..Why do I get the feeling that this is not Kevin; but Clamantha in another disguise? Milo swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE and realizes his folly as he pleads for help from Oscar. Oscar offers to help as Bea proclaims that they won't let this test break their friendship; while admitting that she doesn't like details again. Oh; and they forget who Kevin is and Kevin bawls and runs away stage right. Whatever.
So we head to inside the bedroom of Oscar and Milo (double bunk beds) as Milo is sitting in a desk and Bea and Oscar have unleashed the chalkboard of doom on us which reads Freshwater Final Exam. Bea asks Milo if he's read to study like he's never studied before. Milo calls this a breeze and stammers on being a study guy. He then proclaims that he can absorb any information given to him like a history lesson paper that he crumbles and eats. And since fart jokes are funny; we have burping. Umm; yeah as Milo rubs his stomach as the information is absorbed through his body as Bea and Oscar are stunned. And naturally he forgets and Oscar feels disdain coming on thee. Bea is flustered as Oscar proclaims that it's time for new tactics. So we head to the stage (probably at the school which begs the question - What perks does Bea get at this school?) as Milo is still at his desk as Bea is on stage. See; the old pesky study habits have no postive effect on Milo; so she is invoking the POWER OF THE THEATRE~! This is going to backfire simply because Bea's acting skills are on par with Miss Kane's. As in....not much.
So Bea calls for places and we see Shellsea, Fimberly, Koi, Escarmargot and Clamantha go on stage as they renact Thanksgiving Day in Fish Hooks lingo. This would make more sense if the airdate was during Thanksgiving weekend instead of Funny Fish being played during that time. Esgormargot has a cold as she sneezes and Bea plays a turkey and is crabby at Fimberly. Whatever; I'm more bored than Milo is at this crap as Shellsea isn't amused. Bea gets all trampy (what a shock?) because they must pull together for Milo's sake. Bea asks for Clamantha's line and Clamantha calls herself a calm and Bea gets all pissy. HAHA! That's the second funniest thing Clamantha has done; next to dressing up as Doris Flores Gorgrous. See; it's 1620 and it's the first FishGiving which is like whatever. Bea asked if he learned anything and Milo proclaims that he interperts this as a sick cowboy wanted some turkey. Considering all the revisionist history I read on a daily basis; that might actually be 100% accurate. Might. Wah sounds ensue as no one is amused and Milo panics because it's not right and he's going to lose them forever. With friends like those; getting held back a grade suddenly doesn't sound so bad. So we go back to the house near the trapdoor as Milo goes to Oscar and asks for help. Oscar agrees to; but he also points out that his study skills is more on the science level. Milo agrees to it and Oscar tells him to close his eyes and listen to just the sound of his voice. Milo actually sells it for once and they go downstairs while Oscar makes weird noises. Ooookkkkkayyyyy.
They stop at a checkered cloth table and Oscar stops Milo and then tells him to open his eyes. He then tells him to behold the POWER OF SEA TROY~! We see Jumbo Shrimp (in a rare spot) and Albert Glass (which I often confused with Atticus who is the voice talent's first name who does Mr. Glass' voice) appear as they are the Greek invaders and Albert breaks a plate. Oooookkkkkaayyyy. I think even Oscar gets the point of that one too. Oscar gets to patrol the Fish Trojan Defense. In other words; this is the RPG Greek version of Bea's play which is actually better this way; thank you. Milo is stunned as Oscar as we have devilish archers and spearman defending them VS. Achillies and the Mighty Ajax which Ajax looks like a Gundam robot. Oscar proclaims that this battle is for the most beautiful girl in the world. Which so happens to be a doll with Bea's picture replacing the red-haired face of the doll. Oooookkkkkkayyyyyy. I think we got the _picture_ there Oscar. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Milo thinks it's Bea and Oscar fumbles and stumbles because it's Helen of Troy Fish. Riiiiiggggghhhhttttt Oscar. Anyhow; we continue for a while as Milo asks for something and then gets on the table because they are missing one critical detail. See; he has zero idea what they are talking about. Quite frankly; after that sequence, I'm asking the same question too. Wah sounds ensue. So we get the Scene changer to the living room as Milo sulks around and apologizes for not getting anything right. We then cut to Bea and Oscar on the couch admitting that they covered the basics and decide that Oscar is an untraditional student and Milo tells Bea to shut up. Didn't see that one coming at all. Oscar then tells him that his brain works differently. NO?! REALLY?! I didn't see that one coming at all; no siree. Milo proclaims that he gives up because his brain is non-stick like cooking spray which was invented on May 4th, 1986. Bea and Oscar are SHOCKED. I am too; because that's the same day Mr. Baldwin stopped laughing! See; make the joke and then pay it off. Oh; and Milo is full of crap actually. Non stick cooking spray was invented in 1957 by Leon Rubin and Arthur Meyerhoff Sr. For goodness sake; why not change Mr. Baldwin's joke to 1957 so that it not only pays off the joke; it's accurate research and makes Milo look smart. This actually makes him look weaker. Although the jellyfish fact is close; it's actually 94% water; but that's average.
See he saw this while getting run over by an Albert Glass Non-Cooking Spray Can and was in the jellyfish tank. I'm not going to bother referring to the fish dates; I'll leave those as an excercise to the reader. And the purple jellyfish proclaims that he's only 5% jelly as we see a jar of purple jelly which talks. Whatever. It's 6% protein by the way as we cut to Milo, Oscar and Bea having fun while getting themselves flushed down the toilet. Bea is pissed off now; because he remembers all the times Milo nearly got them killed (death reference #1) and Oscar then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that this is how Milo learns. See; he learns by being threatened; so they have to kill Milo as they jump up and down with glee. Okay; this episode just got better...and I do MEAN better. Milo is not liking where this is going and I beg to differ. Seeing Milo almost get killed equals MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Seeing Bea doing cinema to refresh Milo's mind equals opposite of money. So we go to the Teddy Ruxpin singing sequence as Milo is now fishing bait for Oscar's fishing line as they fish. Once again; since this is a song; I don't have to call spots. Then it's Milo channelling the powers of Webby from Microducks From Outter Space. Sadly; Milo doesn't have a dress to ruin. He already ruined that dress in Fish Sleepover Party. The song sucks by the way and sounds too loud and brash to be taken seriously. And Milo is a worm to a bird and he pokes the bird with a pencil. Fish John Hancock? Something tells me it was originally John Fishcock and that was considered too offensive even for Disney.
Did I mention that Oscar and Bea hold up cue cards during these scenes of various things Milo needs to learn. He literally takes his nose off to grind it off a grinding wheel which Oscar notes. That last one was pretty funny; the rest of the tortures, not so much. Did I mention that they did the MAGIC LENS BURN LASER OF DOOM spot lifted from the promos for Johnny Test? Anyhow; we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and inside the classroom as Mr. Baldwin proclaims that it's test time. Only Clamantha is happy for this to happen as Baldwin takes to the front of the class. Now there are a little over two minutes left which means there are three finishes they can consider and oddmakers if you please.
[1.]
Milo passes the test with flying colors and Jocktopus gets held back
thus burying him. Odds: 3:1
[2.] Milo fails the test by one mark
and we do the Sheepskin Deep finish. Odds 100:1
[3.] Milo fails
the test by one mark; but everyone else fails and gets held back thus
pushing the reset button. Odds 2:1
Number two I love; but that is too time consuming to be effective here. Number one is unlikely because of Funny Fish so I'm going to take the obvious finish which is number three which would be a really stupid finish despite being the only logical one that doesn't bury Jocktopus since it would render all of Milo's torture pointless. Baldwin proclaims that it smells like fish as he then notices on the MARTIAL ARTS ZOOM IN OF DOOM that Milo is not at his desk. Then the door slams open and in comes Milo who looks like he got punched in the face by Jocktopus. Milo proclaims that he's fine; just needs help to get to his desk. Oscar and Bea help him to his seat as Milo proclaims that he studied until it hurts. When Milo can sell better than you; you know Kick is hosed. Baldwin puts the paper down and decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. Hey; when you get tormented like that just to study, you better give him the benefit of the doubt.
So we cut to a clock as it's 8:00 am and we get scenes of Milo doing the exam and he's focused BABEE! And he's stopped selling his overdramatics too I see. Wait; if this is the final exam; Bea and Oscar shouldn't be looking at his paper while Milo is doing the EXAM. There's a stupid logic break if I ever saw one. More Milo pumping and clock seeing make Gregory Weagle something something as at 10:00 am; Milo puts the pencil down and he's DONE! So Baldwin takes the exam (Baldwin should DQ Milo since Bea and Oscar were beside him during the entire thing and looking at his paper) and goes to correct it as Milo spies on him from behind like a little child. Oscar and Bea join as Baldwin gets pissed off and screams like mad in response. Milo asks what he got and Baldwin proclaims that he barely pass which is basically finish #1 which is the only finish that actually would please me; make sense and still give Milo heat. Milo cheers for victory (as well as Baldwin cheering for his hair) as Milo still has his friends and Bea/Oscar join him feeling proud. Sadly; since Jocktopus hasn't spoken yet that means I betcha Baldwin holds him back a grade. I check the Youtube video....It doesn't happen thank god as Milo goes to the skeleton he dressed up (or Baldwin; it's hard to tell) and calls her smokin as the head comes off to end the episode at 10:20. This was barely good thanks to the climax and the finish was the best one they could do. Still; this plot device is WAY overplayed. I guess Sheepskin Deep was just that damn good. *** (60%).
Funny Fish: We begin with Western music and the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (sign: Practical Jokes) as Bud The Janitor Guy as he changes a light bulb with the buffer. He leaves and the KILLER ASS CAT OF RABIDNESS get on top of the buffer to watch a screeching bird. Whatever. We zoom into Milo and Oscar's living room as we see Bea, Oscar and Milo watching the cat while eating popcorn. Seriously; that is what they do and Bea and Milo mock the cat for being a loser. Oscar has the cricket sounds on full blast because he doesn't get the point of laughing at the killer cat. Needless to say; the cat loses its balance off the buffer and misses the bird completely; and lands in the snake pit to get squeezed by the snakes and then bounces into the bucket and runs away. Like I said; the animation is contrived as it usually is with 2D CGI models. We cut back to Milo and Bea laughing while Oscar doesn't get the joke. So at least one fish understands the pain I go through watching these shows from Disney at least. Bea and Milo roll on the floor as Bea proclaims that she could pee herself and Milo proclaims that he already did and Bea completely catches herself. Now THAT IS funny. For the wrong reasons of course; but still HAHA funny...and really sad at the same time. Oscar just looks at the idiots and Milo asks why he didn't laugh and Oscar screams and goes to the trapdoor and opens it and hides into the basement I do believe. Milo asks what happened to him and Bea wants him to check his brother out.
So we head to the basement bedroom as Oscar is playing on his computer. Do I get the feeling that Oscar is based on me without the weight problems or hyper screaming? Milo opens the trapdoor and asks Oscar how he's doing and he is fine. So Milo gets overdramatic because Oscar is blogging. Yeah; Oscar is the me I always wanted to be. Milo floats down and proclaims that Oscar is not fine because he always blogs when he is upset. Other than the hyperbole of doing it every time; I do get pissed once in a while and need to blog to vent my frustrations. Oscar blows him off and wants Milo to continue watching the killer cat which isn't going to happen because the show is already over. Milo asks if he needs a hug and Oscar blows him off for it; so Milo hugs him from behind. LET THE POWER OF THE HUG SPEAK~! Bea comes down and then panics because Oscar is blogging. So blogging leads to school shootings? Is that what this episode is implying? Oscar doesn't want to talk; so Bea decides to invoke THE FACE OF DOOM. Now I know that some people think I am being totally sarcastic; but Bea does call that move The Face. Mere mortals cannot do what Bea tries to do to get over. Milo wants her to be gentle as Oscar turns around and Bea is wearing the PAPERBAG OF SHAME complete with a piece of white paper and sounding like a robot. As opposed to Miss Kane's normal voice? Oscar sweats bullets on that one because Bea is now a computer screen. As opposed to Miss Kane's normal face? POW! OUCH! Ummmmm....
Oscar finally concedes that he doesn't get what is so funny about seeing a killer cat getting squeezed by a snake. I don't get it either Oscar; but you don't have to hyper-ventilate your feelings about it. See; he doesn't get anything Bea and Milo laugh about and feels like an outcast. Bea continues her robot voice and it feels sorry for him. Riiiiiiiiigggghhhhtttttttt CPU Bea. I cannot take her seriously doing that gig considering who is voicing her. Milo wants Bea to stop being emotion-less and Bea sells as Bea proclaims that the #1 thing girls love in a man is a sense of humor which is ironic considering Bea Stays In The Picture. See; Oscar has good traits such as cleaning (the #1 sign of being a heel. Good one Bea) and Milo comments on Oscar using the soap as Oscar looks like he's sucked a lemon and then bawls. No one ever accused Fish Hooks of being from the Skydivers School of Emoting; that is for sure. Unlike a certain Super Dave wannabe I know. Oscar asks for help because he wants to laugh. Milo asks if they can do this and Bea proclaims that they must for Oscar. Milo cheers for it and so does Oscar. Whatever guys....
Scene changer as Milo is sitting on the couch while Milo pulls on his mouth about a dozen times because Oscar needs to relax his mouth. I think Oscar needs that head message that is long overdue. See; Oscar is funny blind like those who are color blind so Milo has the solution to that which is....wait for it.....the EYE SPRING GLASSES OF DOOM. Wah..wah...wah sound ensues. Milo proclaims that the masters are ready to teach Oscar what is funny. If hearing Milo say Milovia doesn't promote even a chuckle from Oscar; then Oscar is completely hopeless. Bea give Milo his script of laughter and Milo refuses it because it's _all natural_ laughter and doesn't go for that _big pharmacy_ laughter for Milo. Bea throws the script away and it shatters glass off-screen. Whatever Bea. Bea starts with the knock knock joke and not even Oscar can sell that one. Milo forgets his line so we do it again and Milo screws up badly. HAHA! Bea blows him off (BOO! HISS!) and suggests the script; but Milo blows it off because scripts are for suckers. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there Milo. And then Headphone Joe appear OUT OF NOWHERE and licks the screen. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Joe isn't a bad character; but what the hell? Oscar asks if he should be laughing and Bea states that he isn't supposed to yet. Bea proclaims that they must do it for Oscar and then ponders as Milo blows her off for it.
See, Bea is using the power of visualization and she is going to tell a joke at a packed nightclub. So Milo visualizes that he's a surfing polar bear and he growls. HAHA! Wait; a surfing polar bear? Does Kit have an albino girlfriend he's not telling us about? Anyhow; Bea blows him off again (BOO! HISS! AGAIN!) as if they don't tell him the joke; Oscar will never be normal. If Milo cannot make Oscar laugh with his voice of Corey Baxter; then Oscar is hosed. Oscar sniffs and then we head back to the basement blogging and searching the Fish Search Engine. So Babelfish has gone beyond translations I see. He types sense of humor and he gets funny feet and humor 101. So he clicks and waits (Man; fish internet is terrible) and we replay the entire _Fish Home Video_ of the killer cat getting squeezed by the snake. Oscar is not amused as Milo arrives pushing the chair wanting Oscar to replay the video. Milo shoves himself in front of the screen as Oscar goes to the toilet and flushes himself...and I do mean FLUSHES himself. Oscar might not laugh; but that last one sure was funny....again; for the wrong reasons of course. Milo then turns around; panics and then pulls Oscar from the toilet. Wait; so he was trying to commit suicide? Really? I thought the new Disney was AGAINST these things even if implied.
Oscar proclaims that it's hopeless now as Milo reminds him of the time when he tried to stuff 20 apples in his mouth. He also loves grapes too as Milo proclaims that he could never stuff 20 apples in his mouth so he pretended to do it. Oscar asks what exactly he did because he gave him $20 (in fish dollars of course) as Milo explains his Krackpotkin plan: pretend to laugh at every joke so he can be normal. Could be worse I guess as Oscar accepts the challenge. Oscar hums and Milo calls that a dying hamster (Death reference #1 for the episode almost five minutes in) as Oscar tries again and the braces exposed laugh is somewhat better and Milo blows it off. So Oscar tries again and Milo invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH to laugh harder and Oscar oversells because if there is one thing in DTVA you don't screw with; it's the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH. Milo shuts his mouth and thinks he overdid it because he doesn't want Oscar to be a psychopath. I think Oscar as one would be awesome; so shame on Milo for leeching off Oscar's heat. Oscar giggles to get it right though.
Scene changer and we head to Freshwater High in the hallway as we see various animals floating around while Bea and Milo meet at the lockers exchanging jokes. See; it's not pudding it's shampoo and they laugh. Yeah; I cannot take those jokes seriously even if I tried. Oscar laughs with them and I must say his laugh is more natural then Milo and Bea combined. Wonder if that is intentional or not? So Bea and Milo give the thumbs up on this plan as Milo laughs his ass off. Whatever as we go into the Teddy Ruxpin singing sequence which means I don't have to call spots much. We begin with Baldwin doing a super serious lecture (written on the blackboard as such) and Oscar laughs at it with Bea and Milo. So Baldwin has detention written on the blackboard and Oscar laughs in predictable fashion with Bea and Milo only in the room. More LOL on the text messenger as they are in the library. Oscar laughs with his friends; no one is amused...I fast forward. The song is okay; but this is clearly to pad the running time of this episode. Milo's burping and Oscar's spit take was cute though. Bea, Fimberly and Emo Kid not so much. The entire cafeteria does it and we get more laughter in the classroom as they set the record for most people in detention in fish history.
So we head in the hallway as Oscar continues to laugh as Shellsea, Koi and Clamantha (she gets almost as much face time as Bea; almost) praise Oscar as we see Bo Gregory stalking Oscar as he talks about losing his dirt pile; but Oscar's laughter pepped him up. They slap fins as Oscar laughs some more as the Emo kids praise him and then we finally get trouble as we see a spiked gray urchin with glasses and a bow tie sitting on a chair. Oh my goodness; it's Principal Stickler who is voiced by Jerry Stiller. According to the USIMDB: As the short, hypertensive male counterpart of the stellar husband-and-wife comedy team "Stiller & Meara," Jerry Stiller and wife Anne Meara were on top of the comedy game in the 1960s, a steady and hilarious presence on TV variety, notably "Toast of the Town" (1948) (aka "The Ed Sullivan Show"), on which they appeared 36 times. Decades later his career was revitalized in the role of the raucous, gasket-blowing Frank Costanza on the sitcom classic "Seinfeld" (1990). The New York-born Stiller was, in the beginning, a drama major at the University of Syracuse. Though he'd played rather uneducated, blue-collar sorts for most of his career, he received a Bachelor of Science in Speech and Drama before making his 1951 acting debut on stage with Burgess Meredith in "The Silver Whistle." While a member of the improvisational team The Compass Players (the company later evolved into the well-known Second City troupe), he met Anne. They married in 1954 and began touring together on the national club circuit while giving new and inventive meaning to the term spousal comedy.
After well over a decade of fame together, they decided to pursue individual successes and both found it. A Broadway favorite in such shows as "Hurlyburly," "The Ritz" (he later recreated his role on film), "The Golden Apple," "Three Men on a Horse," "What's Wrong with This Picture," and "The Three Sisters," Stiller even appeared with Kevin Kline and Blythe Danner as Dogberry in William Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing" in 1988. Musicals were not out of his range, either, as he created the role of Launce in "Two Gentlemen of Verona" and co-starred as Nathan Detroit in a production of "Guys and Dolls." Although he kept afloat on TV as a '70s regular on "The Paul Lynde Show" (1972) and "Joe and Sons" (1975), he had some rocky years and Anne's pilot fizzled when they reunited for a possible "Stiller & Meara" sitcom. Then came eight seasons as Frank Costanza and his character star was reborn. Nominated for a 1997 Emmy Award and the recipient of the 1998 American Comedy Award, Stiller found back-to-back sitcom hits with "The King of Queens" (1998) as the irascible Arthur Spooner. He has also appeared in a number of his successful son, Ben Stiller's, comedy pictures including Heavy Weights (1995) and Zoolander (2001). Daughter Amy Stiller is also a thriving actress. He and Anne have written, performed and produced award-winning radio commercials together for such products as Blue Nun Wine, United Van Lines and Amalgamated Bank, among others. His autobiography "Married to Laughter" came out in 2000. He has 95 credits to his resume; Hercules was his DTVA debut and also appeared as Pretty Boy in Teacher's Pet (movie and television series). Flicker Box is his most recent credit along with Swinging with the Finkels.
Anyhow; Stickler wants Oscar in his office as he is stern...for about five seconds as we head inside and he's on stage presenting him with the award for the Most Popular Student in Freshwater High. WHAT THE HELL?! That makes no sense logic wise. I can tolerate the joke if Stickler was in his office telling joke to have some yucks; but this?! I'm sure Atticus Glass is crying as much as Oscar when he cuts his promo; albeit for much different reasons. So we head outside the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as the entire teenage fish population floats out. We head into the hallway as Oscar thanks Milo for his Krackpotkin plan working or pretend to laugh as they wink and then point fingers and then laugh their asses off. Escarmargot is not amused as then Jocktopus, Pass, Punt and Fumble (I guess) blitz in and take over. HAHA!
By the way Pass is voiced by Roger Craig Smith who started with the Ringmaster as a Mime in 1996 and about 90% of his credits are video games out of 51 credits. He was Deidra in Naruto, Noba in Bleach, Curtis in Resident Evil: Degeneration, Forge in Wolverine & The X-Men, and his most recent credit The Avengers: Earth's Mightest Heroes as Captain Marvel. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut and has even voiced Sonic The Hedgehog twice in video games (Sonic Free Riders and Sonic Colors). Other video games: Kinect Adventures, Resident Evil 5, Tekken 6, Madworld and Assassin's Creed 2 among others. He is also the performer for the Victory Song in Metal Gear Solid 4: Gun of Patriots. Sadly; Jocktopus trips on his tentacles and does a face plant. Yeah; this whole episode is a rib on people thinking that Disney's sense of humor is pratfalls. Milo and Escarmargot aren't happy as the football team turns around because Oscar is laughing his ass off over this. UH OH! Oscar is about to get a Bradley-equse pounding like nothing else. And he deserves it too. I mean who laughs at a pratfall; even if they like Disney anymore? I should point out that during the shock sequence of the fish outside and inside, Milo has magically floated over to Oscar already. Jocktopus invokes the SHADOW OF DOOM on Oscar and Milo; and Milo realizes this and does the cut throat zipper motion (Nice to see Disney still allows that spot.).
Oscar finally catches himself; and makes the fatal error of turning around and Jocktopus squeezes Oscar good. Basically; Jocktopus tells him to come to the field at 3:00 so he can punch his face off and then drops Oscar on his ass and jumps out. Oscar panics and holds onto Milo proclaiming that he only wanted to fit in and not get creamed into a pulp. He then runs away stage left through the TMS HALLWAY OF ANIMATION (repeat animation background about three times...) and then gets cornered by Pass, Punt and Fumble as Pass threatens violence if Oscar leaves as Punt or Fumble likes raspberry cake and then Oscar gets used as a football. HAHA! Now THAT is more like it. Oh; and Jocktopus gets cranky if he cannot push someone at 3:00 too. Oscar gets thrown on his ass in front of Milo and Bea as they console him. Oscar thought that laughing at everything was the way to go and Bea calls it a stupid idea in the worst way....and Milo proclaims that he tried to tell Oscar that. I see Milo has practiced the fine art of weaseling his way out of responsibility for his Krackpotkin plans. If only Baloo could learn from such a thing. Bea proclaims that he liked Oscar as he is. Huh? Does that make any sense since Bea seemed to like him when he was laughing in the song. Milo proclaims that he tried to tell Oscar that too. I am so not buying this crap. Bea proclaims that they must help Oscar; so Milo proclaims that they should pretend to laugh and Oscar blows him off because that is what got himself in trouble in the first place. Milo calls it more genius as I see he conflates genius with insanity as he whispers into Oscar's mouth. I do not want to know what that involves; trust me.
So we go to a shot of a clock as it strikes 3:00 clock as we head to the hallway and we have a ring of students surrounding Jocktopus. I see the Lobster Nephews are part of the gig as Jocktopus wants Oscar RIGHT NOW because his time is valuable. Milo yells in the background and in comes Bea, Oscar and Milo rushing in (complete with anime background) as Oscar isn't so certain of all this silliness. Oscar proclaims that he is doomed as they go into the student ring as Milo presents Jocktopus with Oscar ripe for the 3:00 pounding. Yeah; some friends indeed as Jocktopus squeezes Oscar and Jocktopus is giddy as a heel. Oscar sweats as Milo smiles and then Oscar laughs as Jocktopus gets more pissed off. So Jocktopus bounces the top of his head about five times on screen with bouncy sounds. OUCH! That is almost as sick as Baloo getting bounced off his head in Polly Wants A Treasure. Almost. Oscar laughs some more; so Jocktopus PUTS OUT THE OSCAR~! I see Steggy's legacy lives on. Oscar laughs some more and Jocktopus calls him a freak. Nah; Oscar is now officially a psychopath as Milo cheers for the worst as Jocktopus yells at the freaks to stop laughing at him and so everyone laughs at him and Jocktopus unhands Oscar. WHAT?! That was Milo's plan?! In real life; Oscar would have found a....Oh wait; never mind. After the shootings in a store involves a Congress Person by a crazed lunatic; I'll pass on the obvious mocking. Even the football team laughs at him and that sound in the background is Jocktopus' heat after this load of crap. Oh and Clamantha's laugh sucks too as she spits a pearl. Jocktopus bawls at everyone and storms off stage left to try to regain his heat as he has become Dukie 2010!
Oscar asks if Jocktopus is gone and yes Oscar he and his heat are gone. So another bully in the new Disney has lost his heat. I guess Jocktopus will be going to Heat Losing Anymonus joining Brad Buttowski, Reggie Bushroot and Duke Igthorn. Scene changer as we head to Oscar's living room as the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE sit down and exchange notes on the whole laughter. Needless to say it was painful; which is a real comments that isn't supposed to be a real comments. Oscar admits that he doesn't need to have a sense of humor to be friends with them which is probably the best we can expect from Oscar. Bea proclaims that they have been trying to tell him that from the start (No you were not Bea) as Milo points out that the show is starting as we zoom out to the pet shop as Bud grabs the snake which has since ate the cat. Yeah; whatever. The dangling allows the cat to escape and walk away stage left and Oscar doesn't get it to end the short at 10:20 approx. Okay start; terrible finish. The whole acceptance thing would have worked if they actually told him that from the start which didn't happen instead of skirting the issue. ** (40%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; we got an overplayed plot device in Fail Fish that could have been crappy, but it ended up being barely good thanks to Milo getting tortured along with me listening to the song that came with the sequences. Milo was his usual smooth self and while I did like the Simulation War Cinema from Oscar; Bea's play wasn't good as the whole thing was over dramatics and silly stuff over a plot device that has been done to death since shows about school existed. So; we got an average episode and I really don't have anything bad to say so I'll stop saying stuff about this one.
Wow; Funny Fish certainly didn't work out well. Once again; another heel bully dies heat wise for me as they rendered Jocktopus weak as hell near the end of the short and Milo's plan to make Oscar pretend laugh was not impressive considering that Roiland kept laughing naturally throughout the short. Plus; the whole sense of acceptance seemed contrived and forced because Milo and Bea seemed to go along with the plan of getting Oscar a sense of humor and the song was just okay and only to pad the running time. So we end up with a below average short. Next up is Baldwin The Super Fish and Dances With Wolf Fish which should be fun to watch.
Thumbs in the middle for Fail Fish and a thumbs down for Funny Fish and I'll see you next time.