Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The web master has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the web master and no one else. The web master has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Fish Hooks
Milo Gets A Ninja/Dropsy! Rant
Reviewed: 01/27/2011
Richard Simmons Gets A Samba Baby!
We are now deep into the January 2011 episodes with this beauty as Milo hires some ninjas to counter Jocktopus. Apparently; making Jocktopus look like a pussy wasn't enough for these sadistic fish. ....And we go into part two (after spending forever trying to find a source video on Youtube) as there is a fish disease a-coming. Needless to say; I'm facing one of my own which apparently makes this series look better than it actually is. Oh and Milo is apparently faking it. Yeah; let's rant on shall we...?!
Milo Gets A Ninja is written and storyboard are done by Alex Almaguer, Derek Evanick and C.H. Greenblatt. The story was done by Tim McKeon and directed by C.H. Greenblatt. Alex started with Johnny Bravo in 1999 and then it's off to Time Squad, My Life As A Teenage Robot, Evil Con Carne, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Random Cartoons, Grim & Evil (and the spin offs), Chowder, and Underfist: Halloween Bash. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and that's it. Dropsy is written and storyboards are done by Ian Wasseluk and Neil Graf. The story is done by Jackie Buscarino and directed by William Reiss. According to USIMDB: there are two Neil Grafs in Art Department and one has Fish Hooks as it's only work and the other has King of the Hill, Random Cartoons (Adventure Time) and Teenius. So there you go. All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
Milo Gets A Ninja: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (sign of the day: Kung-fu lessons. Redneck Kung-fu lessons?! Shoot me now!) as we see Bud doing the lamest karate moves and noises this side of Drake Mallard. We then head into the hallway as Albert Glass is going to be shattered glass at the expense of Jocktopus. Well; someone needs to get his heel heat back and Albert's the only one who can give it back to him I guess. Albert get shaken as Jocktopus compares Albert's head to a snow globe. We then pan over to Bea, Oscar and Milo as Bea is sadden by this mistreatment while Milo is outrage that their freedom is trampled by Jocktopus. They want to take the school back and they cheer...for about five seconds as Oscar sulks and everyone catches themselves. Then Bea and Oscar notice that Milo is poking on Jocktopus from behind as he wants to talk. Bea and Oscar panic; but it's too late as Jocktopus turns around and looks INTENSE BABEE! I see he has been taking HHH's joy juice again. Milo tells him that beating up Mr. Glass is not cool. I beg to differ Milo as Jocktopus POPS Milo right out of the fish tank....literally. And the punch was MAN-SIZED and on screen too. So the rule of Kit getting punched in the face by an octopus is still legal in the new Disney. Jocktopus asks if anyone wants to criticize him and even he wonders that question too. Milo finally lands in a fishbowl upside down and sighs. Milo proclaims that it's useless to live if he cannot protect the ones he loves. Wait; he LOVES Albert Glass? Since when? Sure; he's doesn't hate him; but what the hell?
Then we hear shouting and we see an angry mob surrounding two ninja fish with wooden swords and we get some slow motion ninja action before they clash swords and the crowd pops. One of the ninja wears red and has spiky hair; the other wears black. So the black one by default is voiced by Richard Hortiz; the voice of Mouth from Kick Buttowski. Spiky Ninja is voiced by James Sie who started in The Untouchables in 1993 and then it was Chain Reaction, Strawberry Fields and U.S. Marshals. Then he did mostly cameos and typecasting for Jackie Chan in the Jackie Chan video game and the series and then Bruce Lee in that video game. The Emperor's New School is his DTVA debut and then he appeared on WITCH as Chen Lin, Handy Manny as Mr Chu and the Replacements as Master Pho. He has 74 titles to his resume and Kung Fu Panda: Legend of Awesomeness as Monkey is his most recent DTVA debut. He also did a 1995 play called Island of The Blue Dolphins which played in Chicago, Illinois. So after basically a * 1/2 sword fight and a *** 1/2 insult fest; the black ninja bashes the sword away and the red spiky ninja floats to the surface and surrenders. The black ninja isn't so happy with the victory though as he jumps up onto the edge of the bowl and then does some flips into the bowl with Milo. Milo calls his skills mad as black ninja demands answers to this outrage.
He also uses the sword as a threat as Milo gets giddy about holding the ninja's sword and the black ninja refuses. What a prick this ninja fellow is? See; it would create even more shame for him as Milo wants him to talk about his shame. See; little Timmy (wait; so this guy is the ninja version of Kick Buttowski? Shoot me now...) the sword was forged by Big Timmy (who we see waving to Little Timmy in a ghost image) to protect everyone; but the ninja uses it for sport and that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Sounds like the perfect ninja to me. The ninja calls himself pitiful; but Milo no sells because he is lucky to meet him. See; he's going to use the ninja to bring peace to Freshwater High School. The ninja does the only thing in this situation: Ask who his name is. Ummm; yeah. So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH outside in the court as the crowd is watching Jocktopus beat up Albert Glass again. And then Jocktopus does the funniest thing I have seen a heel do since Bushroot planting Drake Mallard in a flower pot: screw Albert Glass like a light bulb into the light socket. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm SHOCKED Megavolt didn't think to steal that one for Drake Mallard too. Jocktopus turns Albert Glass on just to be a dick and tells him that he's all lit up...Oh man; that was more disturbing than I had intended. He also stammers on the metaphors too.
So we cut to Oscar and Bea sitting down on the bench (and thus being part of the problem instead of the solution) as Bea blows off everyone for not coming to her last play and supporting violence over the "arts". Geez; with that porno acting Bea? I would have settled for this beatdown (called taunting by BS&P. Riiiiiigggghhhhhttttt....) of Mr. Glass. Jocktopus wants to know who is next as no one including Jumbo Shrimp wants in. What a shock that was? And yes; Jumbo Shrimp can talk as he is voiced by Steven Christopher Parker who started in 2004 with Air and Traces shorts followed by Little Miss Sunshine, Bad Blood, Juno, and Smother. He appeared on E.R. as Harold Zelinsky and did mostly bit roles from there. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut. He has 31 titles to his resume and Section B, The Apologist and Smash are his most recent credits being released this year. Jocktopus wants someone to be whomped good; so Milo proclaims that that it's his turn. One problem: Jocktopus already did that twice in Happy Birthday Jocktopus and Funny Fish. Oscar is not liking this at all as Jocktopus kisses all eight tentacles in a row and kisses the far right one to indicate that this is the tentacle he is using to pound Milo into silly putty. I see Jocktopus is going for the LIBERAL LEFT HOOK OF DEATH today. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmmm...It's also his favorite see as Milo brings out the NINJA OF DOOM because everything is better with ninjas see. Oh and Clamantha has finally made her appearance as the ninja does some back flips and jumps into the water air and lands in front of Jocktopus. Okay; this is an even match up; so Jocktopus at least isn't going to lose as much heat as he would if Milo was the ninja.
Jocktopus blows off the ninja because he's the resident bully of course and Milo gives him the warning to walk away now and Jocktopus naturally no sells because he's not afraid of a black ninja. Jocktopus attempts the POWER OF THE PUNCH on Milo; but the POWER OF THE MASAMUNE counters it. Jocktopus's tentacle is majorly screwed up. This would have worked better if the sword was like a pole; since Jock caught the punch on the blade of the sword and thus should bleed. Idiots! So Jocktopus uses the POWER OF THE PUNCHES TIMES EIGHT and all of them are countered easily. Milo wants Jocktopus to have a time out and the ninja backs Jocktopus away right into a jump cut as Jocktopus is in a small fishbowl in a dark room. Jocktopus proclaims that he's in lockup. Whatever. We head back to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as the Freshwater fish are happy as Oscar proclaims that Milo has done the impossible. No, not really Oscar since you guys already defeated Jocktopus twice before this one. Bea is impressed by the new boyfriend for her to screw with and Albert thanks him too. Milo is happy to see his smile. Now at this point; the episode should be over; but of course we are only half way through the short which means the "abuse of power" angle finally takes over which is also seriously overplayed.
So Milo dons the white shriff's hat of doom with blue star because he is going to clean up Freshwater High School with the LAW OF MILO BABEE! Everyone pops on that one and I do not like where this is going. So we head to class as Mr. Baldwin is doing is usual lectures; this time on the science of paperclips. He calls them interesting as a hay ball rolls into the classroom and in comes Milo (with Grade-Z cowboy hat) and his pet ninja from the shadows. Milo is chewing on a hay stick too as Baldwin is as confused as I am. Milo proclaims that he's only here to make sure things are peaceful and just. Baldwin calls it wonderful as Milo and Ninja go to their seats and Baldwin calls for a pop quiz and Koi Fish panics like mad; and so does Fimberly as quiz freaks her out. Jumbo Shrimp (in probably his only speaking appearance in this series) calls it unfair. I beg to differ as the red carb calls it an injustice and Clamantha loves it of course. I betcha she and Baldwin will be the first fish in lockup due to the LAW OF MILO. I'm guessing that the red crab is Randy Pincherman who is voiced by Josh Sussman who started with My Crazy Life in 2005 and the television movie Zip. He then appeared on Drake & Josh as Clayton, What About Brian as Ben, Hugh Normous in Wizards of Waverly Palace, Cecil Greenblatt (!!!) in Warren The Ape and was Jacob Ben Israel in Glee. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut. He has 24 titles to his resume and five self credits including the Cupcake Wars. Ooooo...yeah! Wish Wizard, The Elevator short and Amy Alyson Fans are his most recent credits.
I check the Youtube video.....Oh wait; Clamantha hates them too along with Albert Glass. WHAT THE HELL? That goes completely against their characters guys. Milo and pet Ninja rise up and Baldwin asks if he needs to bring out the glue again. Oh yeah; the old child abuse trick. I see Milo's anger is justified now; just for a much different reason. See; surprise pop quiz is okay; gluing a child to a seat (and maybe it's mouth) is child abuse and illegal. Just so you need to know Milo and Mr. Baldwin. The ninja stalks Mr. Baldwin and Baldwin wants his lawyer and a phone call. Good luck on that one sir; you deserve to be fired after that promo. All the students cheer for Milo and his pet ninja. Like I said before; I have no problem with this scene and it's payoff; I only have a problem with the reasoning Milo gives. Milo proclaims that justice is served as we see Baldwin locked up in a goldfish bowl. Baldwin proclaims that he's looking for a new job. Well; thanks to your child abuse antics; you'll be lucky if Fish Flakes rehires you again. Sadly; I believe this episode is going to get worse now.
So we head to the hallway as Fimberly and Koi Fish are exchanging notes because Koi Fish won't believe what Steve Jackson said as they try to whisper to each other and Milo comes in between them and proclaims that secrets only hurt other fish. So we logically go to lockup to see Fimberly and Koi Fish locked up in goldfish bowls. What a second? WHAT THE HELL IS JUMBO SHRIMP DOING IN LOCKUP?! What did he do wrong? Logic break #1 for the episode right there. So we head back to Esgorargot sneezing slime as Milo catches her with the pet ninja since sneezing causes germs. Okay; I can accept Milo locking her up as we see her in a fish bowl in lockup. So we cut to the stage as Mr. Mussels (Oh goody; Tiny "Zeus/Z Gangasta Wrestler" Lister gets his second appearance of the series) voice acts normal and Milo calls him out for scaring fish with his voice. Predictably; he's in lockup fishbowl too. We zoom out and also Shellsea, Headphone Joe and the Lobster Nephews are in lock down. WHAT THE HELL DID SHELLSEA DO? I guess Milo think Shellsea is a sexist stereotype; which is silly considering the IQ of Milo in general. We head to the principal office as Milo and pet Ninja have Stickler surrounded. His crime: sharper pointing. THAT'S RACIST MILO! Sticker is in lock down as we zoom out and everyone is in lock down as they protest this outrage. Well; mostly Shellsea, Headphone Joe and Mr. Mussels along with Fimberly, Koi Fish and Esgormargot. Bo Gregory and Coach Salmons seem amused as they are in for the crime of falling down and their teeth hurting fish. Why does that not surprise me?
So we get a shot of the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as paper flutters around and we head into the hallway as there is no one but a mess there. Milo floats in with his pet ninja proclaiming how safe everything is as they turn the corner and there is a shaking Albert Glass trying to say hello. He stammers like crazy; but Milo and the ninja ignore him as Albert wipes the sweat off of him. Sadly; we get the next logic break as Albert tries to leave stage right; but Milo and Ninja catch him. Dammit Milo; you are getting to Asshole Bumblelion levels now; which is fine by me. Milo basically uses circular logic about a president of something and Albert cannot respond as he is in lockup in a fishbowl as Milo wants him to think about what he did. And here comes Oscar and Bea (with water tanks) to blow him off since Albert is the nicest guy in the school. She has a point there; although Albert is also the biggest coward of the school too. Milo blows it off because Albert was reckless and he was only doing what was the best interest of the students. Bea points out the obvious logical fallacy of Milo's point as we zoom out and Milo agrees that he did get some of the teachers too. So then we see fishbowl crash and Fimberly goes free as we see Oscar has somehow teleport up to the shelves in pushing Jumbo Shrimp. Whatever guys.
Milo is SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) as Oscar proclaims that he's setting things right. So teleporting in Grade Z fashion is setting things right. Got it Oscar as Milo climbs up the shelves. More fishbowls crash down to the ground off-screen (they go too fast for me to notice) as we see Oscar trying to push the one with Baldwin thanks him for doing him a favor. Then Milo grabs onto the other side of the fishbowl and screams for Oscar to stop. Do you notice the obvious logic break; or do I have to spell it out for ye? Hint: WHERE THE HELL IS THE NINJA IN ALL THIS? Milo screams beautifully for his ninja and Bea has him distracted. Okay; logic break is popped out of the short. That's all I ask of you. Ninja does get Milo's call and jumps into action as we continue the tug of war with Oscar and Milo and the Baldwin fishbowl. The ninja arrives with the sword as Milo orders Oscar into the fishbowl and Oscar calls him out for being a bigger bully than Jocktopus. Which snaps Milo out of it as he sees everyone whining in their fishbowls. I see Clamantha is in lockdown too; hopefully for her crappy voice. Milo then decides that this is not worth it anymore. Personally; I would have turned Milo into a psychopath and have the ninja turn on Milo just so the ending would be justified. Oh and Oscar is slammed into the fishbowl as Milo asks for his sword and the ninja gives it to him. Milo then decides to play fetch as he throws the sword away and the ninja goes after it like a dog. Whatever.
Milo then goes into his speech about screwing his friends over and then turns on everyone by proclaiming that he'll get an army of robot to get his dreams. HAHA! Okay; I take it back; this is a much better finish. So everyone tackles Milo good (how I don't know) and we go to the SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM. We go to ground level as Oscar and Bea are thankful that everything is back to normal which involves Jocktopus squeezing the life out of Albert Glass and a glass wearing student. How fitting that Jocktopus finally got his heat back. Jocktopus needs to send royalty checks to Albert Glass when they get out of high school. He certainly knows how to sell a beating. Bea and Oscar giggle as ninja arrives asking if they want to do to the Hokey Poke for food. Oscar and Bea asks how he read their minds and the ninja proclaims that ninja have that power..and then he takes it all back. HAHA! The new babyfaces leave to get food for Milo as he is in lock down in a fishbowl (Well; he was in one from the start; so...) and takes it somewhat well as he needs curtains. That ends the short at 10:20 approx. Logic breaks aside and the usual silly antics; this short was really good as Jocktopus got all his heat back and Milo's asshole Bumblelion routine was as close to the real thing as he is going to get. **** (80%).
Dropsy!: We begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (sign of the day: medical supplies) as Bud is marching rubber duckie like ducks with a kazoo. WHAT THE HELL? So we zoom into the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and then inside Mr. Baldwin's classroom as Mr. Baldwin proclaims that it took all day; but he finally got a sweet drawing of robot fighting a dinosaur. Ookkkkaaayyy; someone is clearly regressing into their childhood again. Although with Milo around; it's sort of understandable. Apparently his best friend is going to be so jealous of him. Riiiiiiggghhhhtttt Mr. Baldwin; whatever you say. We hear Albert Glass coughing and I know this because he's the only character voiced by a 12 year old kid. Baldwin blows him off and Albert looks like he got his face re-arranged from Jocktopus in the previous short. Yeah; CONTINUITY and everything to boot. Albert coughs and throws up like a maniac and then drops dead head first on the desk which actually makes everyone sell. And for those on the Clamantha watch; yes she is in this short too. Milo asks if he's all right and the closeup of him looks so disgusting that the answer is clearly a no. He floats upside into the water and Baldwin finally sells and panics because he has the...wait for it....Dropsy. I'm guessing this is much worse than getting the dreaded Suds from Spongebob Squarepants. That was in my opinion the best short in all of Spongebob Squarepants history and it MADE Sandy No Sell Sweetcheeks as a character. I'm serious too. Who didn't want to see Patrick kiss the CATCUS JACK OF DOOM near the end?
Anyhow; the class is confused as Baldwin takes papers from his desk and pushes the dreaded RED BUTTON OF DOOM as the RED LIGHT SIRENS OF PAIN WHINE. In comes Stickler and Fishington with the dreaded plastic bag and Fishington does some flips and basically bag tags Albert Glass as Bea asks what the hell is going on. Ummm; Albert has a disease worse than the Suds and brittle bone disease combined. That's what's going on Bea. See; Dropsy is a form of the chicken pox for fish. One problem with this: Dropsy doesn't produce those spots that chicken pox do. Something tells me that Albert really has the fish version of H1N1; but BS&P disallowed it due to probably offending people and making a mockery of science. Oh and Albert will be all right. I beg to differ Stickler since he is IN a plastic bag. Clamantha does make me laugh by asking the dumbest question ever: What's a chicken and we get a Kirby's Epic Yarn chicken in a farm asking what is a fish. Don't ask me why I laughed seeing that; maybe that crappy voice is giving me Clamantha Syndrome. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
So we head to the nurse's room of doom (helpfully labeled as such) as we see a shot of Albert coughing up a lung figure of speech of course. We see that Bea, Oscar, Milo and Jocktopus are here as Stickler orders everyone to wash their hands so the fish just wiggle their arms. Whatever guys. Stickler orders Fishington to turn around because her face is hideous and we get the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM from Tale of Sir Oscar Fish only in reverse with one more red fly. Albert groans as Milo feels bad for Albert being stuck in a boring nurse room. However; Bea has something to cheer him up as she invokes the GADGET TRICK OF DOOM to reveal....wait for it....a tuna fish casserole? Ummm; yeah whatever Bea. Oscar panics; but Bea assures him that it's doesn't use natural tuna in roundabout terms and so we get the Epic Yarn face of Fishington again. Yeah; I don't get it either; both ways.
Milo is not amused because Albert now gets free food just because he's sick. Oh; and I betcha Jocktopus cannot beat him up for a week either. Oscar comes forward and he has done all of Albert's homework. Well no shock there since he is friends with Albert as proven in Fail Fish. Albert takes it well since it warms his sick heart and everyone thinks it's cute. How did Clamantha get into the room? Even Jocktopus has a heart; who knew. Milo is not amused to see that either and damn I'm good as Jocktopus has the perfect sub which is to punch balloons with Albert's mug on them. HAHA! Oh and he pops the balloons of course to force the point. Then Clamantha does her ten seconds of work by spitting out $10,000 just because Albert is sick and the money goes flying. How does THAT work in water? Milo is SHOCKED and APPALLED as he has a Krackpotkin plan in mind which is to do the old Patrick Star routine of blowing bubbles behind their backs and then claim he has The Suds too. Sadly for Patrick; I'm betting that the idiot fish will buy that bill of goods. Milo goes upside down and Bea sells it hook, line and sinker. HAHA! Damn I'm so good. Oscar is not buying this crap (YAY!) as Oscar accuses Milo of so faking it. As opposed to just faking it?
Milo wants to have a whisper yell conference with Oscar and so they whisper yell. See; Milo has a Krackpotkin plan to get all this free attention and I'm betting Oscar will no sell that bill of goods too. After all; as Oscar would say that it's lying see. He has a point there Milo; I mean faking sickness has proven to be criminal you know. Remember that "cancer" victim who got charged for faking cancer a while ago? So Milo points out the hypocrisy of Oscar lying about someone losing their wig and Oscar is SHOCKED and APPALLED. See; Oscar needed that wig for his RPG group as we see Oscar dressed up as a red-haired goblin complete with jackhammering background. Yeah; that is so out of place. See; I can say that too and sound better than you pop-culture talkers out there. Milo asks Oscar to stop being a stick in the mud because he's not hurting anyone and to keep a secret. So I guess Oscar sells as Stickler is SHOCKED and APPALLED as Milo does the worst fake sickness I have ever seen outside of a Z-grade movie. Well; there's one form of acting Corey Baxter sucks at. Oscar looks like he wants to be somewhere else as Stickler orders Fishington to turn around and she turns to the tank before correcting herself and she invokes the plastic bag and Milo gets bag tagged and Milo loves this. Here's a memo to Milo: If you are going to do this; don't stop selling the damn sickness.
Scene changer and we see Milo and Albert upside down in their tanks as it comes with a bed and a toilet and a free television as they are staying in the tanks for a solid week. And of course the adults of the new DTVA are so stupid; they don't realize that Milo has completely stop selling the sickness. Memo to Stickler: Being upside down doesn't mean he has the Dropsy. Just so you would like to know. Stickler proclaims that he's making sure they are comfortable as Milo loves this because he gets a 61 inch wide screen television set on top of the 200 inch television. The fact that Milo is pointing at the screen with glee should be indication of Milo clearly faking. However; this is the new Disney where the adults are dumber than the children. And Disney is surprised when people like Steet point out how childish their shows have become. Oh and Milo gets a waterbed (like floating on water; which is quite redundant here) and an upside down toilet. Stickler proclaims that they need to share and wish for a speedy recovery as Stickler and Fishington walk out. Another idiotic thing: Oscar touched Milo earlier so Oscar should have Dropsy by proxy if Milo contracted it from Albert. Milo is so loving this as he wants Albert to make a smoothe and Albert wants his mom. Milo calls it hilarious. I call it sadistic if you ask me. More groaning and wheezing from Albert that is so convincing that if TaleSpin ever gets rebooted; he's the new Oscar Vandersnoot. This is getting upsetting to watch as Milo wants his smoothe. I see the Bumblelion effect is still not completely out of his system yet.
So the door slams open and in comes Coach Richard Salmons as Milo wants Salmons to make a smoothe and Salmons offers something even better which is a song. Oh goody; we get to pad the running time with Richard Simmons singing. It can only be an improvement to the cliche in general. Strangely; Mr. Baldwin seems to be smarter than everyone; so Milo actually sells the sickness as Baldwin puts the present down on the floor and then runs away like a girl screaming. Whatever Baldwin. Milo does the samba for a while and gets fed grapes by the HUMAN ARM OF DOOM like a king. Eh. Then it's the miracle pony rides with the seahorses spot. So far Richard Simmons singing a samba is the best song in this entire series. This pretty much gives me new found respect for Teddy Ruxpin when I have to hear him sing in his show and books. Fimberly plays pass the coconut with Milo for fun and one drops on her head. Seahorse vocals ensue; then it's the old Guitar Hero playing video game spot with drink cup hat. Am I the only sport fan around here who thinks that device makes people look like morons? Well; at Milo's Guitar Hero playing is better than Quack Pack's Huey Duck and at least doesn't have to zap his audience into loving him with the mind control braces. Jumbo Shrimp joins in with Fimberly as Bea has a Save Milo sign. Why? How about a Save DTVA From Bea's Suck...Oh wait; never mind. Oscar is not amused and yeah; he's being a stick in the mud. It's not Milo's fault that you stole that red wig for RPGing and then trying to tell Milo about lying. I'm surprised Baloo hasn't tried that tact with Kit since lying by omission is his forte. POW! OUCH! Hey...
So the song ends as Clamantha has returned and Coach Salmons asked if that made him feel better and Milo winks proclaiming that it didn't help one bit. Well; that is true since he isn't sick to begin with anyway. Scene changer as we see Milo skipping rope upside down. Okay; that is really neat; although he needs to use a navy blue rope instead of the purple one to keep his manliness intact. Oscars floats in and he has brought some ice cream for Albert. Milo then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as he gets giddy. Oscar blows off Milo because it's for real sick fish as Albert feels thankful for the present at least. Milo is getting EVIL as Oscar stands his ground on Milo demanding that Oscar gives him icecream. They do some noises and then Milo does the Gruffi pose and reminds him of Iotta and Oscar finally gives up and gives him the ice cream in disgust. Oscar proclaims that this is not right; but Albert doesn't mind Milo getting the ice cream anyway. He is probably lactose intolerant anyway. I'm not saying that Albert is; just a theory I have since most dorks seem to be saddled with that sickness too. Milo calls Albert kind and Oscar is not amused.
Clock scene changer as Stickler and Fishington as it has been a week and Milo is STILL riding a seahorse upside down as Milo finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY as we pan over and see that Mr. Glass is perfectly all right and right side up. He then does a complete flips and lands outside the tank as Albert is a singing and dancing BABEE! Bea is happy to see Albert is all better and goes to the tank. Now the smart thing for Milo to do (and screw Oscar good) is to get better and do the same and thus he gets away with the lie. Sadly for us; that would end the short in the next 15 seconds and we have four minutes left in the episode! So the sickness MUST CONTINUE! Milo's selling is much worse as his disease as Stickler is SHOCKED AND APPALLED because he's one of those 5% who never heals and we go to the Kirby's Epic Yarn shot of Fishington. WILL YOU STOP WITH THAT ALREADY GUYS?! Oh; and like I'm buying that this isn't a fish version of swine flu. Stickler wonders if she's sick too and Milo (who is right side up and thus this should blow his cover RIGHT THERE but it doesn't) wants more casserole and drops upside down again. Stickler blows it off (much to Oscar's non-amusement) because he needs to be in the Dropsy Something where Milo can be with fish like him. I think you can guess where this is going as Milo likes this and gets the CHILD CORRUPTING BALLOON OF DOOM of three Milo's greeting each other.
Oscar finally panics as he wants Milo to confess now; or they will send him away forever. Milo no sells as he'll send him a Macadamia Nut. He calls Milo jealous as Oscar counters that he isn't which of course NEVER works as he wants Milo to tell the truth. Milo then decides to tell the truth that he loves all of them and everyone buys it lock, stock and barrel. Except for Oscar of course. HAHA! Here's a clue Oscar: Tell THEM Milo is faking and prove that he's faking. You have a better case anyway then Milo telling the truth. Bea loves that poem as Milo proclaims that he'll love that casserole as the valve sucks him in through the tubes and Oscar realizes that he's gone. Bea responds claiming that he's really sick and Oscar really blows her off and bawls stage left. Bea accuses him of being a drama queen. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! False equivalence much there Bea? Milo goes through the tubes being giddy as day as he does the water slide ski jump and drops into a fish tank filled of Dropsy fish who are really sick. Milo actually likes this for about ten seconds and then he asks where the party is at. The sick fish groan and act generally sick, DUH! Yeah; Milo is THAT dumb. He is very stupid. And no one has learned anything. Which is apporos for such a pointless song. Unless it's the samba done by Richard Simmons. That was GOLD BABEE!
Milo asks for people named Milo and here comes Coach Salmon waving hello from the top of the tank. Milo proclaims that they sent him to the wrong tank and into a tank of sick fish. I beg to differ Milo as Salmons proclaims that it's terrible; but he cannot stay because he's returning to school to sing a song for Albert Glass' recovery party. Milo asks what tomfoolery is this. This is actually a really good finish now come to think of it as Salmons dips into the fish tank beside it and we sing the tropical paradise song again with Albert and Bea dancing and Oscar having to deal with Jocktopus and Clamantha in the same room. Fimberly, Baldwin, Fishington and Stickler has also arrived as we do the samba. HAHA! Milo turns right side up and proclaims that he was just kidding and Oscar blows him off because it's too late because he should have listened to his brother's sage advice. Milo doesn't like that as Oscar is certain that someone will give him a tuna casserole in there. Something tells me that this is a dream as one of the sick fish offers him a clean casserole and then his skin flaps off to reveal his guts. Milo screams in pain and then we circle fade out and WHAT? That's it? Dammit at 10:20 approx. Pretty good while it lasted; but what a stupid ending that was. *** 1/4 (65%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Some good shorts this time around. Milo Gets A Ninja is our second thumbs up episode of the series and really not much of a surprise as this one is a much improved version of In The Money with Milo's asshole Bumblelion routine and a really neat finish which justified the ending very nicely thank you very much. The ninja was also pretty cool and the short allowed Jocktopus to basically get all his heat back in one fell swoop thanks to him using Albert like a light bulb. Although there was the usual silliness and some gaping teleporting logic breaks; I really did like this episode and Milo got what he deserved.
Dropsy wasn't so great as the first six minutes of the episode was pretty good and Salmons' samba was classic; I found the ending to be completely mean-spirited and incomplete as it should have ended with Milo waking up from a dream. I also found Albert Glass' joke sequence to be quite unsettling; although that can be pinned on Atticus doing some R.J. Williams-equse acting more than anything else. Jocktopus punching the Albert Glass balloons was pretty funny too. So; a pretty good batch of shorts this time around. Next up is Fishing for Compliments: The Albert Glass Story and The Dark Side Of Fish. Sadly; it will be about two weeks before you see it because this rant will be up before those episodes even air for the first time on Disney Channel. Yeah; I'm all caught up with the series BABEE! So....
Thumbs up for Milo Gets A Ninja and thumbs in the middle for The Dark Side Of Fish; and I'll see you all next time.