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Fish Hooks
The Dark Side Of Fish/Dollars & Fish Rant
Reviewed: 02/22/2011
It's The Dark Side Of The New Disney BS&P!
Woopie! We are finally at the end of the halfway point of Fish Hooks Season One. Our first of the shorts is all about Oscar becoming an emo goth which actually makes sense when you think about Oscar flushing himself down the toilet in Funny Fish. However; considering how they screwed up that episode AND Oscar's trek into midevil world; I'm not exactly thrilled of doing an Oscar focused episode. Then again; he's not Bea so it's an improvement. Our second half of Fish Hooks deals with a parody of Justin Bieber; the Beaver Cleaver Singer~! Geez; let's see where this goes now shall we....?!
The Darker Side of Fish is written and storyboards are done by Blake Lemons and William Reiss. The story is written by Mr. Warburton (!!!) and directed by William Reiss. Blake Lemons has done Chowder and the short Cost of Living. That's it. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut. Tom Warburton has one of the most interesting resumes I have ever seen from the new Disney: School House Rock in 1973 was his debut, then Fast Food Matador and Doug in 1991, then The Dana Carvey Show, Saturday Night Live, TV Funhouse, Codename: Kids Next Door, Life, Sheep In The Big City, Beavis & Butt-Head and even wrote sound track for Home Road Movies. Believe it or not; Pepper Ann is his DTVA debut. He has six writing credits, 10 animation department credits, three producer, ten director, one production designer, 1 actor credit, 1 soundtrack and three art department credits to his resume. So yeah; very interesting indeed. Dollars and Fish is written and storyboards are done by Neil Graf. The story was done by Jackie Buscarino and Justin "Oscar" Roiland. The short was directed by C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss. Oh and Bassy finally returns after her terrible start in Fish Sleepover Party. All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
The Dark Side Of Fish: We begin this episode with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (sign: Candelabras. I'm SHOCKED that a redneck pet store owner can SPELL that word; let alone understand it.) as Bud is getting his ass sucked by vampire bats after trying to recycle the footage literally. Good; I see these bat have some common sense. A vampire bat does his closeup and we cut to Deranged Kermit The Frog's class. I know he's called Doctor Frog; but my version of the name is much funnier. We see the class focused on Esgormargot on a stool (NOT THAT ONE!) with a piece of paper. Basically; she cuts the lamest bunny promo I have ever heard and Milo still cheers and claps. Well; he has ADD; so it doesn't take much to amuse him I guess. Deranged Kermit calls it radical and bends his neck at 90 degrees just to amuse me. Esgormargot slimes away proclaiming that she can only try. I think her definition of trying is different than mine. Everyone claps anyway as Deranged Kermit calls for Oscar next and Oscar and Milo slap skin because Oscar will ace this poetry stuff. Oscar floats over to the stool and cuts a computer poetry promo. BS&P Alert: Oscar calls the Blue Screen of Death; the Blue Screen of Pain (which in hindsight makes more sense than BSOD).
Ironically; he ends by saying I die (death reference #1 for the episode) at the end of it. Everyone is stunned silence with flies. Oscar cannot believe this. I can't either since that poem actually sounds awesome. Milo wants more bunnies and the classmates clap for Milo. I smell a flushed toilet in Oscar's future. Oscar then gets all pissy and sweaty because poems are about expressing real emotions. Well; so is television but I don't see the new Disney trying that anytime soon. Bea and Milo run in to cure him of the sweat and Oscar panics because no one understands him. Well; no one understands me; but I don't get all pissed about it. Oscar floats out the door stage right and Deranged Kermit calls for Albert Glass as Albert floats over to the stool and cuts the same bunny only it actually sounds like poetry. HAHA! Oscar's been proven WRONG again. You can make poetry out of bunnies; Albert just did it. Milo rightfullly cheers for that one and the rest of the class claps. Oh; if that doesn't make Oscar look weak already......
One of the classmates has a closeup of his eye and it's the goth emo of doom as we head to the hallway and see Oscar protesting this outrage of using bunnies in a SERIOUS medium. That doesn't sound like Mr. Hardcore in the very least, no siree. We then see the emo goth fish come out and actually take Oscar's side of thing because bunnies ruin lives with their irrepressible cuteness. I guess Bugs Bunny played a prank on his grandfather or something in one of the WB shorts. The guy in question is Razor Von Doom for the two of you who care and he's voiced by Maxwell Atoms. Razor of Doom gives Oscar his calling card (a white card. Dammit; I know this is Disney; but if you are going to call him Razor Von Doom; give Oscar a shaving razor or something. Or sound like Scott Hall sans being drunk) and proclaims that he liked Oscar's poem of the truth and how the audience mocked him. He does have a point there since bunny poetry is so limited. Just because Albert Glass nailed it perfectly just goes to show you how limited it actually is. Oscar thinks it's an accounting card; so Razor wants Oscar to turn it to the other side and Oscar does and it's black and it's Razor V. Doom Master of the Macabre. Oooooh, scary. NOT! Sorry; I don't find a skull with bat wings scary. Razor has never seen a Moogle before. Oscar claims this is serious and Razor proclaims that life is serious....and of course his cellphone ring tone is a bunch of funny horns. Ah; the wonders of goth hypocrisy. And it's his mother on the phone as Razor wants three tiny pizzas.
Oscar proclaims that Razor has the same problems he has and wants to hug him; but Razor backs away and Oscar face plants himself. No physical contact allowed; but Oscar is not alone see. See if he embraces the dark side; he'll reject the bunnies as a rabbit in a window sheds a tear. Memo to Wabbit: GET OVER IT! Oscar wasn't THAT into you long BEFORE he turned goth. Razor goes on and on as his posse shows up which are all goth versions of Bea, Milo and Jocktopus. Huh? Wouldn't it make more sense to have a goth version of Clamantha since she is in love with Oscar? Oscar asks how they fit into that tiny shadow. Except the shadow was large enough for them to fit anyway. Bad form there Mr. Lemons. Anyhow; Oscar loves it and taps his fins in the air as Razor proclaims that they will have to work on his goth skills if he is going to be able to hang around them.
So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH outside and then to a closeup of the mirror as Oscar is putting on makeup. Oh my Jonas; he's going to be a gay goth. Considering how much they are outcasts; it wouldn't surprise me if some of them are legit gay. I have no issue with this whatsoever since Oscar looks better in makeup compared to Bea in makeup. Okay; I admit it. Bea in general is usually the opposite of money. Oscar loves this goth look as he turns around and Razor slams his mouth because goths only frown see. We then cut to Fimberly, Shellsea (who both are getting her batting average up to Clamantha at this point), Bea and Milo noticing Oscar and Fimberly gets her contracted line in as we get a dramatic music shot of Oscar looking like a dark clown from hell. Shellsea likes it too; but Milo and Bea are SHOCKED and APPALLED. Milo goes over and drops Oscar on his side and calls him sick and pale. So he's like me with H1N1? Bea corrects him because Oscar is wearing makeup and Milo blows it off because only clowns wear makeup which Bea blows off because she's wearing makeup. Exactly. What is your point Bea? You're not a clown? So you forgot Queen Bea already huh? Milo gets the sparkle on his eyes because he calls it like he sees it. HAHA! I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Oscar greets them like a depressed goth and Milo opens the mouth and notices that two of his teeth of are gone. Oscar proclaims that he filed them down to half fangs. OUCH! That had to be painful. Can you guess the obvious logic break to this before this episode ends?
He wears dark clothes to show his dark soul. Geez; that is kind of redundant if you ask me. Here comes Razor V. Doom as we discover that Oscar has changed his name to Asarya Bubblethorn. Ooooookkkkkkkkkkaaayyyyy. That makes changing your name to Mister T sound normal. Bea is confused and Milo mocks Asarya (might as well call him that as a suitable punchline to the whole episode since it sounds like a KKK name to me) and Oscar screams at him because it's Bubblethorn. Razor proclaims that they are headed to the library to bare their tormented souls near the radiator and he'll be waiting for Asarya. Asarya proclaims that they understand him and Milo mocks him calling him a funky chicken. Someone needs to work out the jokes better here because it should be depressed tuna instead. Asarya covers his mouth because he's acting like the real him and does the phantom wave dance. Asarya floats stage left proclaiming that the abyss awaits him. Bea and Milo just look confused.
Circle scene changer and we head to the library as logic breaks and they are at the table instead of the radiator like they claimed to be. I club BS&P! Albert Glass and Esgormargot are sitting on the opposite side probably gossiping on all this as Razor calls upon his partners of misery to the 3rd biweek of their poetry group. They hold hands and proclaims that there will be no judging allowed either as he addresses Bleak Molly (the only female fish in the group with purple tipped hair) to read some poetry. Bleak Molly is voiced by Eva Amurri who started in 1992 with Bob Roberts and then Dead Man Walking as a child actress and did ADR for said movie. She then did teenager roles in 1999 with Anywhere But Here, Earthly Possessions, Made-Up, The Banger Sisters (Ginger), Saved!, The Education of Charlie Banks as Mary, The Life Before Her Eyes as Maureen, Middle of Nowhere as Grace, Animals as Jane and New York, I Love You as Sarah. She did some cameos on Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Mercy, Children's Hospital and House; while playing Jackie in Californication. Fish Hooks is her DTVA debut. She has 22 titles to her resume. Stag, Isolation and AmeriQua are her most recent credits coming up in 2011. She also was a set production assistant for Mission to Mars. Bleak Molly reads that the rainbow should hang up because he's busy and Razor proclaims that he heard better off a bubblegum wrapper.
Bleak Molly rightfully calls him out for judging her; so Razor changes the subject and asks about blond hair and Bleak Molly freaks and floats away stage left. So Razor V. Doom is also a sexist. Well; I didn't expect them to be enlightened since they have no light in their souls to begin with. I see the Quiet please sign has been broken not ten seconds into this scene as Razor calls for Bubblethorn to do his poetry and Asarya is sweating with glee. Razor just wants him to begin the poem and Asarya seems more giddy and nervous and going on and on about how someone can understand him. Man; Razor sounds more rational the more I see him. Thankfully; Razor slaps Oscar in the face; which is screwed up because it's violence see, but the power of suggestion works here that the slap felt like an anvil. Asarya gets his notepad paper and does his worst frowning face ever and cuts his poem about ravens pecking his laptop. So a raven is like C-L-A-M-A-N-.. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Anyhow; the posse loved it because it was miserable and they clap. Asarya cheers that one. I see he still needs to work on his responses to praise with this group. Razor thankfully re-arranges his face to a frown and they groan.
Scene changer and we head to the lunch room as we see in the far shot Fimberly and Shellsea walking to the tables together with their lunches and in the lunch lineup; it's Asarya, Razor, Prinaha in front of Asarya and Bo Gregory in the back. Razor asks for every food that is the color black and the lunch lady drops it on the tray plate. The lunch lady asks what Asarya wants and he wants the Amborsia Salad and Razor gets offended by it. Asarya asks what's wrong and likes being with them. Razor accuses Asarya of being in league with the bunnies and Asarya panics like mad because he hate bunnies. Razor isn't so sure about Asarya's dark side and Asarya is in black tears crying as some bleed onto Razor's face which he takes as a good sign; but not a certain sign. Razor won't be sure until he is "initiated" and Asarya asks if it means endless poetry reading and Razor proclaims it's something like that. Then they both do the worst yodeling in history as they float over to the table as Milo watches on as his tray drops onto the floor and he screams......
Which segues into Milo in the gym shaped like a basketball on the ball rack. Okay; that was pretty funny. He screams for Bea as we zoom out to see Bea and Fimberly playing volleyball as Bea notices him and Coach Richard Salmons grabs Milo as a volleyball. Oh goody; we get Miloyball. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Salmon bounces the ball to Bea and Bea grabs it (CHEATER!) and blows off Milo because this is co-ed. Milo of course snickers at the obvious considering that the students are female and Salmons is barely male. Milo tries to explain that he needs help; but Bea is in the middle of the game as she serves to Bo Gregory (who's ALL man thus killing the logic of whatever the writers were shooting for here) and Bo Gregory kills it proclaiming that the ball just talked to him. Bea cheats as we REPEAT THE FOOTAGE only with Milo trying to explain again; but gets killed by Bea to Shellsea who serves back to Bea. Milo finally explains that he is about to join the goth clowns forever and Bea proclaims that they must do something....and we segue into singing while playing volleyball as Milo crashes into the glass ceiling while Coach Salmon bids farewell HAHA! Milo as a volleyball equals MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Asaraya being a goth forever also equals money. Bea wearing makeup equals opposite of money.
So we head to Razor V. Doom's house which contains tombstones in the front yard and OH MY JONAS; one of them is shaped like a Christian Cross. THIS IS A SPECIAL DAY! Boy; those old Disney folks sure sound so dumb eh fellows? See; I can talk like a redneck and still know how to use grammar properly. We then head to inside Razor's dining room near DA....HOLE (SLURP!) as Razor V. Doom, Dread Squid, Milogoth and Bleak Molly (Ah I see she and Razor reconciled. How nice of him. NOT!) surround DA...HOLE (SLURP!) with Asarya. Sadly; the hole is not shaped like a pentagram. Damn; so close too. Asarya cheers; recoils and then does the worst moan in history as Razor invokes the slime hair gel which doesn't create the spike effect. Heh. Razor then uses the spooky eyeball lenses which I'm sure will get a boycott from Mike Adams real soon. Remember his tirade on Lady Goo-Goo Gaga? No Mike; she doesn't worship death. She worships........ME! No, not really. And the tattoo is stamped on which is painfully mistimed with the sound effects. Although Asarya's scream was top notch and timed perfectly.
Asarya's calls this miserably easy. Not quite Asarya; but you are close. Razor proclaims that there is one final test and he must throw all the stuff that represent happiness into the pit. Wait a second; this plotline was done already....in The Weekenders. I remember now; it's all coming back to me now. This version is so much better than that one though. And yes; I stooped to a Celine Dion joke; so shoot me. The posse groans as Asarya asks what it is and Razor calls it the worst thing imaginable as we get the Kirby's Epic Yarn version of Fishington. Oooookkkkkkkkkayyyyy. Thankfully; Razor proclaims that it's much worse. Okay; I buy that notion. Asarya shakes because he didn't come prepared to throw anything into the pit....and here comes Bea and Milo dressed up like a clown. Milo then mocks Razor proclaiming that he basically has a sense of humor about himself. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there Milo.
They float over to Oscar (yeah; I'm tired of doing this pun) as Oscar demands answers to this outrage. Bea proclaims that she did some research on this goth thing and they brought him a poem to throw into the pit. Milo takes the notepad and reads it saying that it's okay to be serious and to be sad; but not to forget the friends that you have. They love bunnies; but they really miss him as Oscar's face lights up as apparently they understand him now. Oscar is touched by this as Razor blows off the poem and Oscar finally realizes that Razor is a liar, hypocritical and engages in psychological projection. Razor asks what is he talking about and Oscar tells him he's judgmental. Razor doesn't seem to care either way. Oscar then rips off his costume (which is the only way the logic would have made sense - good thinking) and proclaims that he's no longer Bubblethorne and he's Oscar who is friend of Bea and Milo. Whatever; as long as you are happy Oscar. Razor is not amused and all three babyfaces get thrown into the pit as Razor tells him that they are playing at the Hookey Poke at eight tonight and throws the card into the pit for good measure before leaving. So the babyfaces free fall right into the bunny cage as they are on top of white rabbits. Milo and Bea pet the bunny as Oscar thinks Razor is a coward and then the rabbit bunny goes into hell and screams at Oscar to end the short at 10:20 approx. Better than the Weekenders version and with a cute finish and ending. Overall; not bad at all. *** 1/4 (65%).
Dollars & Fish: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Career Advice. Riiiiiggggghhhhtttt Bud) as we see Bud sweeping the floors with a rat watching and then does the moonwalk complete with Michael Jackson. THAT'S RACIST~! So we zoom into the Hokey Poke as we cut to a table with Bea, Milo, Oscar and Esgomargot sitting down as Milo asks what is up and Bea shrieks because on the television; it's Brandon Bubbler as we pan over to the television and we have our song barely a minute in. It's called U + ME = LUV. We see a graffiti brick wall, sparkle in the air and a Justin Beiber sound-a-like fish singing with the worst voice I have ever heard since Backstreet Boys...and we get the Backstreet Boys parody to annoy me some more. We then see the kids cheer and wave as Bea calls the song on fire as she wipes a tear from her eye. Yes; I'm an old fart; but this sucks still. Justin is a better singer than this as Bassy (finally) arrives with the pot of coffee as Oscar orders four fish flake shakes as Esgormargot wants chocolate. See; chocolate gives her pep as Albert joins in and proclaims that he has tickets to see Brandon Bubbler live.
Bea likes this and asks where he came from and Albert claims he's been here the whole time. So Esgormargot slimes him with mustard. Seriously; that is what she does. Albert asks if she wants tickets and Esgormargot sells and they slime away stage left. In any other universe; Esgormargot would be arrested for assault and battery on a dor..Oh wait; never mind. Bassy arrives stage right and puts the drinks down onto the table and the babyfaces all slurp down including a red crab who somehow has made it OUT OF NOWHERE. Oh goody; Randy Pincherson is back to screw with my mind. And he wastes no time in making passes to Bea which Bea blows him off for. Randy proclaims that Bea is his future wife and Oscar does an awesome spit take. Geez; you wasted all that on a girl with violent red hair. Oscar claims that he's going to merry Bea then catches himself meeting a snail as we anime pan over to a grey snail munching on fried chicken proclaiming that he's taken. He also took Sussman's voice too.
Oscar slurps on his shake like crazy as Bea blows off Randy and his evil smile. So Randy invokes that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH and offers Bea tickets to the concert and Bea no sells that bill of goods. See; Bea is not buying because that means Randy gets to marry her and she doesn't want to marry anyone. Oscar and Milo proclaim that they can buy tickets on their own and Randy blows them off proclaiming that he can buy hints and waddles out. Bea checks her purse and finds that she has enough and Oscar checks his text messenger and he buys two tickets himself on-line. Milo does the c sign and asks who is paying for his and Oscar proclaims that Milo should be paying through the nose. Milo then admits that he has zero money and doesn't even know where money comes from. Again; how does Milo get through life; I'll never know. Bea points out that money comes from job and Bea babysits and two baby fish come OUT OF NOWHERE and I betcha it goes the same place. Oscar tutors Jocktopus's football team and Oscar calls them books and one of the football members (They all look the same so I have no idea who is Pass or who is Fumble). Milo proclaims that jobs are terrible. He has a point: Oscar and Bea have TERRIBLE jobs. Basically; Bea and Oscar refuse to support Milo anymore and Milo is on his own as Milo gets all pissy in front of Bassy and shows off his human feet in high heels. EWWWWW! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! And the fish don't sell properly. Milo runs and jumps out the window for no apparent reason I can think of. Oscar asks Bea if they did the right thing and Bea proclaims that they did the best they know how.
Scene changer of doom and we are back in the Hokey Poke for no reason I can think of as we see Bea and Oscar looking ugly over a bunch of French books. Bea whines about crying babies for hours at a time and Oscar has it easy since the football team can feed themselves. Oscar blows that one off as he feeds the whining football team. This is what happens when you become friends with Jocktopus; I guess. Bea wipes off their faces and sees Milo's hair. Bea proclaims Milo will be sorry and then we see Milo come in on a motorcycle of bling. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT?! And he crashes into the Hokey Poke and shoots money from a cannon. Who does Milo think he is, Donald Trump? He then crashes the motorcycle into the floor right in front of the conveniently placed fire chief fish (check the yellow hat) as he blows off Milo. Whatever sir. Chief is voiced by Blake Clark and according to the USIMDB: For the last 20 or so years, Blake Clark has been doing stand-up comedy on the club circuit, on The Tonight Show, on HBO comedy specials, on Late Night with David Letterman, and The Conan O'Brien Show. In addition, he has been in over 50 feature motion pictures and hundreds of episodic television shows. A decorated Infantry Platoon Leader in Vietnam, Blake brought the plight of the Vietnam Veteran to the people of America I a humorous way in the Eighties and was "adopted" by numerous Veteran Organizations throughout the United States. Having moved from his home state of Georgia to Hollywood, Blake soon landed his first Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and soon thereafter, was cast in his first of many recurring roles on television as Fred the Chauffeur on Remington Steele. Since then, he has been Harry, the hardware guy on Home Improvement; Jules, the next door neighbor on The Drew Carey Show; Chet Hunter, the finagling father of Sean Hunter on Boy Meets World; and Bob, the womanizing boss on the Jamie Foxx Show. However, Blake is perhaps best known as Farmer Fran, the unintelligible Cajun coach in The Waterboy. And he recently received critical acclaim as Drew Barrymore's father in the hit movie 50 First Dates. He has traveled the world doing comedy and recently went to Iraq for an extended USO Tour with Drew Carey. Blake is a warm, intelligent, funny and innovative social commentator with a quiet patriotism that he lives as well as portrays. His comedy runs the gamut from observation on the current military conflict to his Southern root in Georgia. He is a man of all seasons. He started in 1981 with The Greatest American Hero; but hasn't gotten into animation until Toy Story 3 of last year. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut. He has 86 titles to his resume. Son of Morning, Highland Park, and Rango as Buford are his most recent credits. He also wrote You're Right...I'm Sorry television movie in 1990 and appeared on Redneck Comedy Roundup along with 16 other self appearances. Ooookkkkkaaayyy.
Moving right along; Milo floats over to the table as Bea asks what happened. Good question there Bea; although that question would be more suitable to ask the writers at this point. Milo does some mumbling and uncloaks his red king robe complete with diamond jackhammer background. Okay; that was different at least. Milo sits down as Oscar asks if he got a job and Milo answers no. Like anyone would give a job with that much money to a 4 year mind in a 14 year old body. Bea asks about the tickets and Milo proclaims that he will be buying one. See; he got the money from Randy Pincherson. That still doesn't make any sense. See; this plot is better suited for Bea since Randy and Bea actually have the issue with each other and this would be liking selling her soul to the devil. Problem is in the new Disney; doing that with a female makes you a rotten sexist and we can't have any of that "sensibility" plotting and storytelling now can't we? Oscar proclaims that it doesn't make any sense (YAY!) as Randy arrives proclaiming that it's bad business since Milo has been given a loan.
Again; this makes more sense with Bea since Bea has the issue with Randy and not Milo. Milo claims that it's a donation; but Randy corrects himself as per terms in the agreement and that logically leads to the flashback as we head to the hallway with Randy with the bills of money stating that this is a loan and not a donation and wants Milo to understand. Milo lies through his teeth of course and we jackhammer diamond background back to reality (no, not reality). So Milo proclaims that Randy should pay him a loan to pay off that loan. Oh man; even Baloo wouldn't go that fat and I betcha Randy no sells that one. I check the video....Damn; I'm good...and Milo must pay with his own money plus 300% interest by tonight; or he will suffer the pinch...and we even get Randy pinching Milo in an orange/yellow/red explosion background just to force the point. LAME! Why not just send him to jail or a nuthouse or just steal all of Milo's stuff? Makes more sense than...THE PITCH! A worse version of...THE SWITCH! Oscar calls him a monster. Compared to whom Oscar? Jocktopus? Randy proclaims that fish swim and crabs pinch and he leaves with his calling card. Oscar basically said it all as Bea leaves with the babies because this stinks of DEATH (death reference #1 for the episode). Milo cries that he's going to be pinched.
Mr. Krabs: What a crybaby?!
I cannot argue with that one sir. So we head back to Milo's living room as Milo hides in the cushions and it doesn't work. Yeah; that really worked for the Quack Pack nephews and the Ninja Lumberjacks video tape Donald got in the mail. Seriously; I ask again, what is Donald doing watching a Japanese anime movie called Ninja Lumberjacks? At least we know why Brad Buttowski likes the Binkini Lumberjack Channel. See he was looking for cash and found a Babe Ruthfish card and a half eaten cookie. He thinks of selling something and he eats the card and asks if anyone wants to buy a half eaten cookie. So we hear the doorbell ring and it's clear it's Randy Pincherson at the door wanting his money. What? It's AFTER HAPPY HOUR already? Milo does the dumb voice claiming that he's not here and to come back later. Randy no sells for three seconds and then decides to leave. Milo breathes a sigh of relief and OUT OF NOWHERE comes Randy Pincherman. Milo screams like death on that response as Randy wants his money. Now if this happens BEFORE HAPPY HOUR than Randy is trespassing and should leave until AFTER HAPPY HOUR; come back and try this again. Somehow; I doubt the writers care about CONTINUITY, or logic and common sense at this point. Milo gives him a cookie and Randy actually sells it and then pinches it and now Milo gets the BIG PINCH OF DEATH and Milo cries and whines as Randy goes for the kill in slow motion and jackhammer backgrounds. Now the episode should be over; but Oscar and Bea come in with the Gruffi poses proclaiming that they paid his debts so Randy wouldn't pinch him. WHAT THE HELL? Again; this would make more sense with Bea since you know. I hate BS&P; I seriously do now. Randy is not amused because he loves messing with Milo's mind. Milo is SHOCKED that they would pay his debts. Randy does his calling card and floats away stage north which is just not as good as when Deranged Kermit does it.
Milo is so happy because friends always come through. Considering that we have about four minutes left; I think Milo's friendship is going on the rocks since Bea and Oscar had to sell their tickets to pay back Randy on Milo's behalf. I check the Youtube video....Damn; I'm so good. Good shove there too Oscar. Bea is so beside herself. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Spare me the crocodile tears guys; I am so not buying this crap. Besides; it's not like male on female shoving isn't allowed (see Don Karnage shoving Aunt Louise twice in the same episode). I'm not even going to try to recap the pathos scene because it contrived, forced and seeing Milo buried just seems wrong to me. Memo to Bea: Projection much there? Switch the dialog between the two and it sounds a lot better. Oscar has had enough of Milo because there are no second chances and they both walk out on him almost holding hands. Milo face plants and cries. I'll give Corey Baxter this; he has a lot of courage to be doing this crap. Seriously; I mean it too. Milo proclaims that he must get his friends back and he must work as that segues into the Hokey Poke as he tells the Chief that he's ready to work. Wait; so the hook fish yellow hat guy is the manager of the Hokey Poke?
The Chief wants no part of him; but Bassy shows him that the Hokey Poke is extremely full. So the chief agrees to put him to work; but Milo the punk has only one job to do and that is to work the cash register. Milo screams like a banshee as the chief explains that he only has to open the register and put in the money and then Milo screams that the Chief is a monster. Okay with that hook on his fin; he has a point, but why is Milo getting buried here? Milo gets put on the red stool (YOU MONSTER!) and tells Milo not to screw this one up since even a baby can do this; even Milo the baby. So someone gives Milo a dollar bill as we get some YES! NO! nodding to waste some time. Ah; the always ineffective, let's do some silence and see if the kids laugh at it. At least the squeak sound helps this scene out a bit. Well; only a little bit. Then we segue into a song and in a major shock; no one is singing it. Milo does the sweat pointy finger of death on the cash register and finally opens it and puts the dollar bill in slowly.
Then we get a shot at a clock with a spatula and a cooking spoon as it is 4 o'clock and here comes the chief to count the money and then he panics like crazy and Milo basically flops down like he's having a heart attack. Lucky for him; the chief regains his composure as it's all there and gives Milo four bills. Milo feels relived that he earned that money and then realizes that it isn't enough money. So the chief tells him to sell his bling motorcycle that is conveniently propped on the seat. Okay; that makes sense at least. We return to Oscar's living room (I guess they came back and felt relieved Milo is gone) as they watch television holding apples and singing badly. So Milo ups the class level by dancing on the television and gets pelted with an apple by Oscar. Oscar and Bea want him out; so Milo blocks the television and shows them three tickets to Brandon Bubbler's concert and then throws wads of money to Oscar and Bea which they realize that it's the money Milo owes them. They wonder if he worked for it and Milo claims that he did. Well; he did have a job so it's partially true. And he sold the bling motorcycle which he didn't need anyway.
So Milo asks if they want to party and Oscar and Bea hug Milo and they are Best Friends Forever or until Milo screws up again. Whichever comes sooner. So we head to the concert hall and then inside as the crowd rocks to Brandon Bubbler on stage with his BackFish Boys. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! SLAP! OUCH! HEE HEE....Everyone comes in as we see Milo, Bea and Oscar (Bea and Oscar have painted on color shirts which shows the artist level of these losers. As in; not much) as Milo looks tired more than anything else. Oh; and there's the OMG in there for the second time in the series as the babyfaces dance on the floor. I see Jumbo Shrimp, Koi Fish, Albert Glass, Esgormargot and French Dude dancing. Only Milo is sleeping against the stage as the painful song must continue on. Justin Bieber parody equals cure for insomnia. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Circle fade out to end the episode at 10:20 approx. The plot itself is good; but the wrong character was used to execute that plotl as if Bea was used; it would have generated the much needed heat and love she needed to get over for good. However; they used Milo and he got buried hard so I award no points and may I have no mercy on the writer's tormented souls. Call it ** (40%).
THE REVIEW LINE
So we got a mixed bag of shorts this week. The Darker Side Of Fish was a pretty fun ride and it was a lot better than the Weekenders version of it simply because Oscar is a lot less boring as a character and seeing him trying to be Bubblethorn was pretty funny. Razor was all right; but the scary goth character just wasn't there for me to take it seriously and he came off as sexist and projecting. Still; I love the finish and ending with the killer bunny scream on Oscar to accent the point. Overall; not bad at all and I got to see a Christian Cross tombstone in the new Disney. How about that for a "screw you" to the people who think the new Disney sucks.
On the other hand; Dollars and Fish wasn't so good. It wasn't for a lack of effort or even the storyline. The overall storyline, plot, timing, finish and ending were actually good booking decisions. And for once; no one sang like Teddy Ruxpin. Sadly; the worst booking decision sunk this plot and that was it was Milo who was used as the focus character and that buried him as a character. Sure; this kind of storyline worked wonders with Baloo; but Baloo needed that plot to develop his character and tone down his Jungle Book character. Milo's character is a baby sociopath and it doesn't work. Ironically enough; they should have penciled Bea into this (with some adjustments) because Bea is a greedy jerk and making her look stupid and have Oscar and Milo dump her would have worked wonders since the finish would have given Bea all the heat and character she needed to finally get over for good as I mentioned before. Plus; it would also give her tension and an issue with Randy Pincherson in a "deal with the devil" sort of way. That would have given us our third **** episode. Problem is; by doing it my way; I would be labeled a sexist because girls must be strong at all times according to Disney's thinking. Personally; I find that attitude sexist in itself since girls should think whatever they WANT to think and damn it to hell what boys and other girls THINK of said girl thinking that way. That's a balanced female character. This fits into Night Flight's thinking overall. Next up is Fish Floaters and Flying Fish with the former being an exercise in sexism...and Clamantha trying to be a boy of course. So....
Thumbs in the middle for The Darker Side of Fish and thumbs down for Dollars & Fish and I'll see you all next time.