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Fish Hooks
Oscar Makes An Impression/Employee Discount Rant
Reviewed: 10/05/2011
Not The Best Of Impressions I Say.....
Yes folks; this is unofficially the final episodes of season one of Fish Hooks on the rant shack. Our first short deals with Oscar getting married because Zeus think he's the Queen of England...or something. Then our second short must be the silliest one of them all: Milo looking after a red dress (but not a real red dress, that's cruel!!). Umm; yeah. So; let's rant on shall we...?
Oscar Makes An Impression is written, storyboard and directed by Mr. Warburton. The story is done by Oscar himself. If your sarcasm meter is broken; it's Justin Roiland. Employee Discount is written and storyboards are done by Diana Lafyatis. The story is done by Meghan McCarthy and directed by William Reiss and C.H. Greenblatt. All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
Oscar Makes An Impression: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Crumpets. I thought rednecks hated Redcoats?!) as Bud marches with the English Solider hat and a broom. Unless you have a red coat on; it doesn't work as a joke. Get over it writers of the world. Anyhow; we find out that it's a black cat and Bud is forced to bail with his life. Yeap; black cats ARE bad luck. Wearing them on your head is worse luck. We head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as Milo makes a funny face and doing voice impressions. Oscar closes his locker and blows him off for weirding him out. Milo was doing an impression of Zeus Mussels. It sounds nothing like him as Bea floats in and Milo does his dumb face routine for her. We get our first OMG from Bea and apparently confuses him with Randy as she uses her cellphone to call Nurse Fishington. Milo isn't amused as he doesn't understand why no one gets his impressions. Oscar weasel words the reason because he didn't use a Swedish accent. Except Zeus Mussel doesn't HAVE an accent. Bea ribs Oscar as she recalls Oscar doing impressions on the Fish Queen of England and Milo blows it off. Bea wants Oscar to show Milo; but Oscar isn't so sure of doing it because it sucks. Bea claims otherwise and calls it cute much to Oscar's surprise.
So Oscar slides on the floor to allow Clamantha to spit on him for no good reason. He steals one of the cheerleaders shell tiaras which poofs up her orange hair (she's talking to Bo Gregory by the way) as Oscar puts on pearl earrings (which would have made more sense with Clamantha) and he drags his mouth down to looking like Bert from Sesasme Street. Milo is in awe and Bea has the Gruffi pose on smiling. Oscar does her Queen of England impressionand goes crazy. I'm sorry; but Oscar's voice cannot do a proper British accent to save his life. Milo thinks she is actually here and Bea has to reassure him that it's only Oscar acting like a crazy lady. Okay; she didn't say that, but it's implied. And I think Oscar is going to see a flush toilet somewhere down the road. Milo becames Scooby to Bea's Shaggy as Oscar waves and goes crazy as the Hanna Barbara sound effects keep going and going. Then he and Zeus have a meeting of the minds...and it wasn't at the tea table. Zeus gets off the second OMG of the episode (What? Did the writers watch the Bratz movie before doing this short?) because Oscar's impression is too good for him to notice that Oscar is not the Fish Queen of England. Zeus is so giddy to see her despite shouting half of his lines and proclaims that he'll show her around in his limo. Milo and Bea want to join in as Oscar tries to reason with Zeus but screws himself by doing the impression that she need to fly back to Fish England. Yeah; because if he blew his cover NOW; the episode would be over. Zeus calls this perfect and he'll drive. HA! Oscar screams badly as we get the zoom out shot of Oscar in the limo in the backseat.
So we get that horrible Union Jack Music of Doom as they drive and shatter through the glass and the limo does flips in the air outside the tanks. Wait; so how did Zeus pass HIS driving test again? They do the impossible jump of doom and land in Fish England's tank as Oscar continues to scream badly. They land on the road inside the tank and we head to one of those snow globes of Fish London as we head inside the backseat as Oscar and Bea do a disco better than Kick Buttowski could ever do. Oscar's wink eye is so contrived that it's funny as Milo thinks this is great. Oscar thinks he's crazy because Mussels will figure this out. Milo blows it off because by the time that happens he would have driven them around town. And apparently; the limo has about ten seat rows too. So we go to the Teddy Ruxpin Song of Doom as we get more OMG's. Look; besides the fact that OMG is internet lingo; why bother? Disney does allow the use of the word god anyway. They just don't allow it mixed with god damn. And OMG can be Oh my goodness or Oh my goddess too. It's not that special. Oh and Brandon Bubbler makes another cameo appearance on stage in this sequence that I refuse to call. More English spots including the house of wax, autographs and Oscar generally having a better time of it. Oh and Captain Aquarium makes another appearance in the photographs too. And the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE disrespect the Wax model of the queen because Oscar's impression isn't enough for them I guess.
So we end the pointless song with Oscar waving to his clique at the London Clock of Doom and then we cut to a shot of outside London as the sun rises and a cock crows. So we head in the streets of London (the old streets judging by the stone pattern) as the Goofs With Attitude are dressed up. Milo looks like a British Solider who forgot to wear a red coat (which is continuity from the beginning of the short; so I'll live) and Bea has the pink samboro. Sadly; it's not the onion version of it. Milo calls it the best night ever and Oscar agrees. He's wearing an I love British shirt which today would sound a little different and not in a good way. Did I mention that Oscar got a red form finger too?! Bea has the glasses on and she wants to do this all away and Oscar flops on his back like a dead fish on cue. Leave it to the soft core porn invader to CDS the episode so to speak. Oscar pops up and he's done being the Fish Queen of England. Milo asks why since he had fun and wants to eat, drink and be merry all over again like it's 1812. Oscar doesn't want to pretend to be someone else and Milo asks why not. Oscar just wants to go home, eat some fish flake pops and watch television. Zzzzzzzzzzz. As Milo and Bea demonstrated and Oscar blows them off for ditching his true self and the limo drives in conviently for him to open the door, walk inside and shut it. The limo drives away and here comes another limo as Zeus Mussels is driving and he's panicky. Ummm; yeah.
So we head inside the limo Oscar is in as Oscar is in between some fish snobs sipping cups of tea. Oscar thinks he's in the wrong limo. NO?! REALLY?! One of the fishes (the pink one) is grateful for her presence and they are not too late. Oscar asks what that is and the snobs laugh out loud. Oscar is horrified as we cut to the Mussel's limbo driving on the street with reckless abandon. So HE'S the one who taught the Wuzzles how to drive?! Peachy, just peachy. Bea notices the church nearby as Mussels calls it Westminster Abbey and the queen would only go there to get....and we segue to a closeup of Oscar's fugly mug as he panics because he is going to get married. Oh; if Clamantha doesn't show up as his bribe; I'll be so disappointed. We zoom out as the pink fish is still drinking tea talking about her marrying Earl Penswick as Oscar panics again. The lady with the glasses and curly hair proclaims that they are children at heart when a wedding arises and we have more tea sipping. So we head to the Abbey of Doom as Bea and Milo somehow butt their way over the crowd and inside as apparently; the quote of OMG's is 3 since Bea is doing her normal swear here. So we zoom out and see the ladies and Oscar in wedding dresses. Oscar gets the roses of course because he's the queen see. Bea panics and wants to put a stop to this as Milo wants to stop it because Oscar didn't ask him to be his best man while in tears. Geez; I wonder why?!
Bea blows him off (BOO! HISS!) as a nobleman wearing a red tie and a CHL mustache over his mouth is asking where the alter is because he's going to marry Oscar. Ooooooo...For those who think this is shocking; you are pretending Feminine Air never happened. So Oscar tries to explain to the Justice of the Peace in his regular voice which should have been enough to convince him that this was a sham. He no sells because he's at the right wedding and let's get this wedding started. So he starts the usual speech and then notices that there is no groom and calls him a bloke. So Bea pushes in and it's clearly Milo in a neat disguise. The fins give him away. Okay; this is an awesome idea Bea has come up with. Damn; I hate it when BEA finds a way to get over. Milo is wearing a golden comb on his nose as we continue the wedding from hell as he wants to apologize AND save him. The JOTP isn't amused because he's getting to the good part. Sadly; no consent in this wedding as he asks for objections and here comes Zeus Mussels barraging in and he's afraid that he will not allow Oscar to marry this bitch (pointing to Milo). WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?! Did Tiny Lister seriously call Milo a bitch?! I rewind the video several times and I cannot deny it. Mussels called Milo a bitch. Oh my god; that is going to open a serious can of worms on Disney that is for sure. That is going to be edited in the second run for sure now.
Zeus waddles over to Oscar and wants to ask his hand in marriage. Oscar is terrified as the JOTP blows it off because she's married to the Duke and Milo agrees with him. Milo blows his cover calling Oscar his brother; but the JOTP ignores it because he wants them to fight over it because that is the English way. Anyhow; Zeus accepts the challenge and so the JOTP proclaims that they will duel in the biggest tradition of Fish England: A Slow Jam Rap Duel. Oh god help us all! That is a BS&P decision if I ever saw one. What; no sword duel?! I'm not calling this crap as Zeus takes the microphone and we rap like a bunch of sucky mussels. The crowd pops their hats over that one and so does Zeus' tumors I see. We see Bea and I'm going to guess that she's Lady Eelbottom beside her talking. Which is silly considering that she doesn't look like an eel. I'm guessing that they didn't want to reference her with the blue squid which looks like a cold Miss Lips.
Anyhow; Lady Eelbottom is voiced by April Winchell (FINALLY! I got to her so I won't have to mention her in the Kick Buttowski rant) who began as Connie in Kid Power in 1972 and then went straight to voice acting from there starting in 1988 with Who Framed Roger Rabbit as Mrs. Herman. Darkwing Duck was her DTVA debut as Bianca Beaksley in Fraudcast News, then she was Peg in Goof Troop (You want to see FemiNazi; Peg is as close as we got in DTVA), Dyl Piquel in Bonkers, Shaua Coyle in Gargoyles, Woman in Aladdin The Series, Tanya in Mighty Ducks The Series, Doris Deer in Shnookums & Meat Funny Cartoon Show, various characters in Timon & Pumbaa, cameos in Quack Pack, cameos in Jungle Cubs, Cruella De Vil in 101 Dalimations: The Series, Amazon Guard in Hercules The Series, Miss Finster in Recess, Clarabelle Cow in House of Mouse/Mickey's Mouseworks, Pwerta in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command, Lydia in Pepper Ann, Terk in Tarzan The Series, Nora in Lloyd In Space, Hypnotheria in Teamo Supremo, cameos in Lilo & Stich: The Series, Bernice in Kim Possible, cameos in Phineas & Ferb and Helga in Kick Buttowski. She has 114 credits to her resume. Strange Fame Love & Sax as Pawnbroker is her most recent credit. She also wrote three Roseanne episodes.
The JOTP likes it and then introduces the Duke to the crowd. So it's Milo's turn (with the spotlight IN SHADOWS) and at the very least, this should be fun to mock. Yes; they are using the same music; why do you ask? And he does his impressions from the beginning of the episode! Okay; this is quite pointless since all Oscar has to do is blow his cover and this will all be over. Still; Milo doing funny faces is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. Bea as always is opposite of money. And we get crickets as Zeus is declared the winner. Some countries have zero taste. So that leads to a laughable bonding moment with Oscar and Milo as Milo cries like a baby as usual. Oscar claims that he could do worse as Zeus is a good mussel. Anyhow; Milo backs off and the JOTP finishes his spiel and asks for any objections as the doors open and here comes the real Fish Queen of England. UH OH! She demands Milo, Mussels and Oscar out of the Abbey NOW! The dumb babyface run out on the second yell of course and then we cut to on the street as Milo and Oscar are on their knees praying and begging for mercy like a bunch of crybabies. Then we hear the soft corn porn invader herself as she invited the queen over. Why not just do that from the start?! Oh wait; I know. Grumble, grumble.
Actually; she punches the wax dummy in the mouth and her head comes off as we find out that Bea was the voice of the queen. Damn you Bea! Oscar and Milo scream badly as Bea points out the obvious to us. Oscar claims that he knew that (Riiigggghhhhtttt) as Bea huddles with her Best Friends Until She Marries Oscar as Oscar admits that he had fun being a queen and Milo wants to go home and watch television. So all three goofs race for the right to avoid heating the Fish Flake pops as the real DUKE OF DOOM floats towards the real Fish Queen of England and we discover that the Fish Queen of England was mimicking Oscar all along. SWEVERE~! We get photographs of the queen with Oscar's shirt on getting MURDERED by Jocktopus and annoyed by Clamantha and getting a failing grade from Mr. Baldwin on the Fish England test. So yeah the old stereotype of the queen being out of touch with the country is alive and well. Circle fade out to end the episode at 10:30 approx. Stereotypical as hell; but Oscar and Milo kept bringing the funny and got it over. Great ending too for a change. *** 1/2 (70%).
Employee Discount: We begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Tuxedo Rental) as Bud is doing boat signals with a bunch of clothes while looking in the mirror. Is he doing the redneck signals for how to vote in the 2012 election? So we head to Oscar's house as there are boxes filled with stuff and Bea is only adding to the madness when she floats in. We pan up to a box hill as we see Milo taking out a teddy bear and he's giddy. Bea reminds him that she's not giving away any of her stuff. Although it wouldn't be a bad idea to get rid of the teddy bear if she wanted to play mind games with her mother. See; her tank is being cleaned and Milo has to look after the stuff. Oh come on; you know someone is being set up here! Question is: Milo or Bea?! Or worse, Oscar just to mock him? Anyhow; Milo still doesn't understand as she tries on Bea's summer hat with blue and peach flowers which look like icing. Bea claims that there is one more thing to look after which is her dress for the school dance. She opens it calling it a Night in Fish Paradise. Maybe it's just me being an old fart; but school dances suck in my view. And the red dress sparkles of course. And Bea yodels like the Rock after slipping the tongue. Milo does the same and then does some laughable flips and lands on his back losing the hat. And then does some grabbing motions as Bea seems to be rethinking this whole thing.
Bea asks where Oscar is and Milo claims that Oscar told him that he's at the gym; but really he's roleplaying with Jumbo Shrimp and Albert Glass. Geez; I wonder why Oscar needs to do that. I smell a flushed toilet in Oscar's future; but Oscar won't be in it. Bea states that she feels more secure with Oscar looking at the dress and Milo feels offended by this lack of trustworthiness. Why doesn't that surprise me? Personally; I wouldn't trust Bea with mowing my lawn; if I HAD one. Case in point: A cow moos in the background when she lies and then admits that she doesn't trust him. Milo cannot believe this and cries like a baby. Bea gets all flustered and decides to let him watch the dress. Thrilling stuff eh? Milo loves that one as he pumps his arm. Bea tells him not to screw up the dress; which includes not letting it catch on fire. Geez; Bea has no heat whatsoever if she's afraid that the red dress would have more heat than her. Bea has some stuff to do and she will be back tonight...and she's counting on him. Sadly; there's no "no matter what" which means Milo will not bother to show effort as Bea floats out the door. Milo has the red dress as we cut to outside with Oscar looking like a badly dressed goblin; so he makes it to the front door and does the MAGICAL CLOTHES CHANGE OF DOOM to change into gym gear looking like a dorky version of Richard Simmons. So Oscar opens the door and lies through his teeth as Milo is sitting down with a bowl of popcorn watching television.
So Milo tells Oscar that he missed Bea and Oscar breathes a sigh of relief as he takes off the gym stuff and we see Milo is WEARING the red dress. That better not be a real red dress because that would be cruel and unusual punishment on Milo see. Milo claims that he's wearing Bea's dress so he knows it's always safe because he doesn't even trust the box it came in. Oscar realizes this and goes into the dumbest drunk stupdor in history. And that covers A LOT of ground as he thinks Milo is Bea in a dress looking as hot as her current heat. To him; that's boiling hot. To us, it's freezing cold. Milo asks if he likes it and Oscar gets creeped out and demands that Milo take the damn dress off. Milo in a red dress is MONEY BABEE! Bea in a hot red dress is opposite of money so sod off Oscar and BE JEALOUS! Oscar claims that he's streching it out (codeword: You are making me look bad.) and Milo no sells because he's protecting it see. I don't blame him; the censors are a bunch of losers if they think Milo in a dress is an abomination. Oscar tries to grab Milo's hand; so Milo slaps Oscar's fin away. So Oscar tackles him down onto the floor and we get maybe the most distrubing moment in Fish Hooks history ( besides Zeus Mussels calling Milo a bitch) as Milo is on his belly and Oscar is grabbing the dress right near Milo's ass. Milo turns around and we do the GRECO ROMAN KUNCKLE UP OF DEATH and the fight ensues and the dress rips in the back. I blame Oscar for this because he dropped Milo onto the floor in the first place.
Oscar and Milo panic on cue of course as Oscar proclaims that there are 19 school dances per year and they cannot ruin this for Bea. Only 19?! So they have two dances a month in this world? THAT'S WHACK even by Fish Hooks recently lowered standards. Milo claims that he can fix this and flexes his hips as he's in his underwear which is pointless considering that he's usually nude like Oscar anyway. He wants to get the glue stick and Oscar stops him. Dammit Oscar; let him fix it and ruin the dress some more. Anything to keep me from getting bored out of my skull. Oscar wants to replace it by going to Freshwater Mall and floats out stage left. Milo thinks it's a great idea. Oh brother.....Anyhow; we head to the mall and then in the mall hallways as Milo and Oscar float around looking for the store where the dress was bought. Oscar ponders where and Milo notices the store which so happens to have the display of the sparkle red dress which is called Carla Secrets. Whatever. So Oscar and Milo look at the dress and it's 1000 fish dollars. On a point; the preview said that it was $1000. So they removed the fish part in the preview. Why?! Who knows what devious thinking Disney marketing has? Anyhow; Milo asks how much money he has and Oscar has 912 arcade tokens. Oscar proclaims that they need to find a job and in a series of contrived ironies; Piranha storms out throws down her name tag, blows off the store and flies out remembering to punch down a vendor's stand in the process. I see she went to Jumbo Shrimp's HOUSE OF HOLY LIGHT STRENGTH. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is way too convient even by cartoon standards.
So Milo has a Krackpotkin plan as he wants to take the job at Carla Secrets so they can buy the dress for Bea. Oscar blows it off because Milo knows absolutely jack crap about fashion. Milo end arounds him by claiming to know everything about everything and drags him into the store. I hope one of them is carrying this episode on it's back because this episode is BOR-ING! So we head inside the store and we Oscar and Milo watching...Barb? I guess she got tired of dealing with Fish Flakes. Anyhow; she is reading their resumes (which would be a bigger riot than this episode) and they have referenced each other. So why should they hire them? I would like to know why Barb doesn't NOTICE these two from Bea Becomes An Adult Fish? That's a logic break if I ever saw one. So Milo ribs Oscar to show her his stuff and Oscar pulls his finger out of the socket. Oh; if Fanboy wasn't a total wussy before, he sure as hell is now. That's the first good spot of the episode and we're nearly halfway through the short already. And Barb puts on nametags and hires them. Oh come on Barb! We all know you noticed them beforehand. This was the secret handshake for you to notice. So the rules of engagement is that they sell based on commission and therefore get a percentage of what is sold. She shows the clothes and the counter and that concludes the training and here comes our first customer Fimberly into the store. Milo claims that he has this covered and floats over to Fimblery who is looking at a rack of purple dresses.
So we meet and greet in which Fimberly acts as if she NEVER met Milo. Damn these brain wiping writers as Fimberly is here to buy clothes to make her feel better about herself. Ho hum; another victim of pointless vanity commercialization. Milo brings her stage left to the shoe rack and Fimberly states that she doesn't need any new shoes and then gets nailed in the face with a red shoe. Okay; since WHEN is Fimberly the bump machine? I thought we agreed to have CLAMANTHA be the bump machine of this cartoon, at least on the babyface side. So Fimblery gets carried out of the store on a strecher by two fish with white coats as Milo blows her off on the way out. For some odd reason; I like Milo to be my service clerk in real life if I ever owned a store. Anyhow; we see Oscar folding up a blue shirt and then we pan over to Miss Lips whacking dresses off the coat rack. Jeepers; Miss Lips is getting MORE face time?! Oscar comes over to ask if she needed anything and at least Miss Lips notices who Oscar is. She is looking for a blouse in her size and Oscar asks what is her size and Miss Lips thinks she's a size 2. Actually; that sounds accurate and Oscar decides to check in the back and Miss Lips likes it so she whacks another dress rack for fun. When Miss Lips is entertaining me; you got a problem with this episode....
So we head out back in the dressing rooms as Miss Lips is inside dressing and Oscar floats in and she does struggling noises that sounds like she is having a laughable orgasm. I see Miss Lips comes from the Canadian School of Grunting. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Oscar wonders if she is all right and when we head inside Miss Lips has the dress on her head and has the puppy sad face on. So Miss Lips comes out and changes her mood to glee and then claims that she left her purse at home which Oscar points out that is not the case and Miss Lips proclaims that she's an idiot and then waves goodbye nicely and destroys the top of the door in the process. So Oscar puts the dress back and guess who shows up. Just guess who....Ummm; yeah. The GRANNY VOICE FROM HELL is back just to annoy me. And horrify Oscar. See; Clamantha is here for a full wardrobe and Oscar claims that she doesn't wear clothes. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Oscar? Alex Hirsh should seriously consider saying that previous line I wrote; just for a laugh because lord knows I need a good one now. Clamantha gleefully ignores him and goes on and on while Milo plays with blue high heels. So we have the PACMAN CHASE OF DOOM in the background as Milo's cellphone rings and he answers it. Yes; it's Bea calling as Milo lies about the dress not being ripped as another rack gets thrown down of course as Oscar bails stage left like a scalded fishdog. Hmmmm; fishdog...SLURP!! Bea informs them that she'll be at Oscar's house in one hour for the dance and hangs up. Milo's face is PRICELESS on that one too.
Milo panics and yells for Oscar which we discover is hiding behind a rack of dresses. Milo informs Oscar and Oscar panics because they made no money yet and Milo proclaims that they must make that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH NOW! So they open the coat rack and see Clamantha with the fish net as it's Oscar Fish-'Wabbit" season. Oscar refuses to sell clothes to Clamantha; so Milo proclaims that she'll have a sad time in Fish Paris. Fish Paris? Lame-O guys! Oscar is horrified as we get the pointless dream sequence as Bea is at the dance wearing a potato sack and sobbing. To quote Mr. Krabs on Squidward: What a baby?! Miss Kane cannot even sell that right either as we return to reality (no, not really) as Oscar can hear her crying...badly I might add. So Oscar pops out to Clamantha and stammers. So Clamantha spits out...a wad of dollars and Oscar offers to show Clamantha fifteen different fashions that might look good on her. Clamantha wants Oscar to button them for her and Oscar is not happy to hear that one. I smell Teddy Ruxpin singing of doom commencing and damn it to hell if I'm not right. It's basically Clamantha trying out stuff that she would never wear in a million years and fist pumping. In other words; nothing of note. So we scene change to the piles of stuff on the carrier and Oscar and Milo do their pleasure business promo as Clamantha even gives a tip of dollars to Oscar; remembering to invoke the tongue and stick it on Oscar's nose for good measure. HAHA!
Oscar has the money and proclaims that Clamantha's money is creepy; but it was worth it. Oscar counts the money, and they are short (sadly; we don't know how much) as they need one more sale in five minutes. The store is empty (as usual) and we see Mr. Baldwin floating towards the store. So Milo and Oscar rush out and force Mr. Baldwin into the store. Just swell eh? Mr. Baldwin has to shove their heads down to calm down the scary men and he agrees to buy the hat (the same type Milo wore at the beginning of the episode; only in a different color) as long as they leave him alone. Both boys agree and Baldwin gives them all the money he has and leaves. Now THAT gives new meaning to the term "highway robbery". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So Oscar and Milo proclaim that they can buy the dress now as we scene change to Barb at the cash register as she gift wraps it as it comes to $1000. However; since that doesn't include taxes; it comes up to $1079. UH OH! Like I don't know what happens next as the employee discount brings it down to $1000 and the boys look like they have been pucker punched by Jerry Bomb. Here's a clue writers: If you have the title called Employee Discount; then you telegraphed the finish well in advance BEFORE the show starts. At least in TaleSpin; they wait until about two minutes into the show before telegraphing the plot let alone the finish.
So Oscar and Milo head home and slide in safe with the dress just about ten second before Bea walks in with a new hairstyle. At least this one doesn't make her look like an idiot and Oscar is so into it. Bea asks Milo about the dress and Milo gives her the gift wrapped dress and she opens it...and she notices right away that she's jobbed. Oh; I smelt that coming a mile away. Memo to boys: Girls are NOT REALLY STUPID. This is 2011; not 1961. Just so you would like to know. Then Milo finally confesses to the whole thing as Bea is shocked that they bought a $1000 dress and Oscar explains that they got jobs at Carla Secrets. So Bea proclaims that this is a geninue Carla Secret dress and not a ripoff from Chateau 21. So not only is she vain with porno style acting; she's also cheap. Milo asks why she made a big deal of it and Bea admits that she doesn't want to go back to the mall; but since they went through the trouble of buying it; they are going back to the mall to return it since she has a better use of the money.
So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as it's a Night in Fish Paris as everyone is in formal gear (including Bo Gregory who has Fimberly as a date; the Chovies are together) as Mr. Baldwin makes it to the steps and then gives the hat to a approaching Miss Lips. She tries it on and likes it as she goes through the door and crumbles the top of the wall. Whatever. So we see the carpet as a limo stops and out comes Bea in her red knockoff dress, Oscar in a blue tuxedo and Milo has a grey tuxedo with a top hat. Milo loves this as Bea asks why she spends it on pointless clothes when she could spent it on pointless limo and tuxedo services. Sounds sound to me as a ball of clothes rolls in and it's Clamantha proclaiming that she will wear them all since she couldn't decide. Heh. The GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE laugh as we circle fade out to end season one of Fish Hooks at 10:30 approx. What a dull and boring episode this was. Only a few cute spots; but a boring episode that we have seen done better years ago. Call it 1/2 * (10%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Oscar's been getting his mojo back as of late eh? Oscar Makes An Impression was the typical English episode. However; the whole silliness of Oscar being the queen I did find extremely funny and the whole marriage sequence was too funny to watch although they had to BS&P the duel to get it pass muster. Which is funny considering that Mr. Mussels called Milo a bitch during the whole thing. Still; the English stereotypes could have been toned down quite a bit and Bea was her usual smooth self as usual. I did like the finish and ending though as the queen proved to be just as infected as Oscar was with impressions. She seriously needs to learn her own country though. So overall; a fun episode.
The unofficial end of season one of Fish Hooks ends with a resounding thud which is kind of sad considering how this series has risen above the level of expectations (lots and lots of suck value). Employee Discount wasn't offensive as it was boring, dull and heat less. I simply didn't care if Bea got her dress ruined and Bea didn't seem to care either. The finish was telegraphed and most of the ending has been done to death before. There were a good decent moments; Milo wearing the dress and ruining it being one and Clamantha's chase with Oscar; but otherwise it was boring and nothing else seemed to click. Not a good way to end season one; they should have went with Fish School Musical as the last episode of the season and aired Halloween Haul for Season two on Halloween; like it's supposed to be.
So that is it for season one of Fish Hooks as I won't be touching season two until next year. We have done 39 episodes total; so we have five thumbs up, 22 in the middle and 12 thumbs down. OUCH!! Sure to many old farts and old Disney fans; this is completely unacceptable. Since exceptional-ism is so over-rated and considering that this is already an improvement over anything from the One Saturday Morning hell; I am not really complaining about the 12 thumbs down it got. Sure; this show will never be TaleSpin; nor even Phineas & Ferb. However; Fish Hooks doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it claims to be and it does it well enough. When the writing is good; the show is good. When it's bad; it's not Kick Buttowski bad which is fine by me. Milo's value is still good enough; but Oscar has been inconsistent and Bea is still problematic most of the time. Clamantha is improving character-wise (but not voice wise; oh no) and Shellsea and Albert Glass are a hoot. Mr. Baldwin is probably one of the better annoying boring adults I have seen, Stickler and Fishington was okay. Fimberly and Esgormargot are so one note jokes that they aren't funny. Jocktopus for the most part didn't have much heat until Fish School Musical and the rest I care less about. Again; the biggest problem with this show is rising above being just a cartoon version of Hannah Montana or the other live action shows Disney has and this one delivered sometimes. And really at this point; that's all we could ask for since Disney management won't change their demographics, Detroit Disease attitude anytime soon. So with this series done until Halloween Haul (which will be done on Halloween Week) I can focus on finishing Gummi Bears and Kick Buttowski Season One for the year before the big move to 50webs and then Ducktales for next year. So......
Thumbs in the middle for Oscar Makes An Impression and thumbs down for Employee Discount and I'll see you all next time.