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Fish Hooks
Halloween Haul/Fish Talent Show Rant
Reviewed: 10/25/2011
Which is about half a ton of candy.....
Well; here it is, the final two episodes of Fish Hooks for 2011 for me. Since I did the first four shorts of Kick Buttowski season 2; I might as well do the season 2 debut of Fish Hooks with it. This one is a Halloween special as the fish try to do what all kids do on Halloween night; but get screwed over by Jocktopus. Surprising? Of course not. So how do they get their sugar rush of the year? And then we end it with another fight to see who gets the legal right to claim sanity for one year. Or maybe not. So; let's rant on shall we...?
Halloween Haul is written and storyboards are done by Darin McGowan. The story is done by Nick Confalone, Neal Dusedau, Megan McCarthy and Tim McKeon. The episode is directed by Willaim Reiss and C.H. Greenblatt. Four story credits? Really guys? Darin started as a storyboard artist for Rocket Power, As Told By Ginger, Christmas Is Here Again, The Mr. Men Show, Sit Down Shut Up, Re-Animated and did several storyboards for Futurama. The Replacements is her DTVA debut and also did sound directing for two upcoming movies: Jinn and The Littlest Angel. Her only other credit is animation direction for Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi. Neal Dusedau has only three known credits: The Happening, Munich as an assistant to Barry Mendel (who is a producer) and Peacock as associate producer. Fish Hooks is his DTVA and story writing debut. Don't ask me why. Fish Talent Show is written and storyboards are done by C.H. Greenblatt, William Reiss, Blake Lemons and Neil Graf. The story is done by Tim McKeon while direction is done by C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss. Any reason for four writers (besides making more space for me) guys?! All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
Halloween Haul: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Used Candy. Isn't that just asking for your business to shut down?) AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). Of course the whole place is littered with Halloween decorations, three Jack-O-Lanterns and a Christmas wreath on the back of a car. That must be Bud's car as we head inside and it's littered with decorations as Bud uses the buffer (I truly missed you fine international object) and Bud is wearing a hockey mask. Like I'm going to take Bud seriously being a past NHL hockey player. Even rednecks have standards....OF VIOLENCE~! So we get a flash of light and cut to a tank as a spider is shooting webs saying Happy Halloween and mice gnawing in another tank a pumpkin into a Jack-O-Lantern. Then we see a rabbit hopping on a book in front of the lamp and howls at it like a wolf with the most distrubing lip puckering ever on a Disney show. Okay; that was different. Anyhow; we head inside the fish tank village as it's spooky, decorated and everyone is in costume. One of the costume freaks ( a pink fish) actually tries the old sword in the armpit trick to simulate getting stabbed in the heart. I see Bea's parents giving candy (or fish flakes depending on your poison) and the Chovie Twins as we cut to the anime background and see Bea and Milo swimming stage left like crazy. Milo is wearing watermelon candy and Bea's costume has a fish hook on her head (Oh; the pain!). Take one guess who is chasing them. They swim into the house as Oscar is at the fridge having milk and there is an eaten apple in the fridge which Oscar doesn't even notice. Oscar states that they are back sooner than he expected.
Milo spins him around and sadly no milk shoots through Oscar's nose. Milo tells him that he won't believe what happened. Oscar mentions Jocktopus and Milo's story is blown. What a prick this Oscar fellow is? At least wait until Milo goes through the valley of the shadow of death part before you tell him the obvious. Milo asks how he knew and we see Sunny (!!!Wow; I didn't think they would remember him) outside getting mugged for candy by Jocktopus and his tentacles. Oscar proclaims that this happens every year (since Jocktopus came into the world.) as we get the anime still of Jocktopus' terror of eating candy and handling Albert Glass, Oscar, Bea, Fimberly and Milo like the bully that he is. Amazing enough; this is the closest thing to hard drawn we have seen in the new Disney. On second thought; stick to Flash guys. We return to reality (no, not really) as Oscar lies on the coach proclaiming that he likes candy; but hates getting terrorized by Jocktopus. I think Don Karnage would like to have a word with you. And of course Bea has to ruin the freakin buzz by trying to act and have a spotlight on her. She gives Oscar a feedback card (basically it's a thumbs up, thumbs down card) as she wants feedback on her acting in the horror genre and Oscar gives her a thumbs down. HAHA! Sorry Bea; but if you want to get into the horror genre; you'll have to have a voice that is lower than the hum of a fridge. See; she's not as scary as Milo wearing a piece of sushi. Okay; I totally disagree with this. Milo is NOT scary in a sushi outfit. Bea's soft corn porno acting skills are much scarier than this Oscar. You just don't like raw fish. Not to say that this is a bad thing; just an observation. And we jackhammer scary sounds and a white fish background. Still not scary Milo. Cute yes; but not scary.
Bea sulks as no one is going to get to see her act. And she sezs it like it's a BAD THING. Milo looks out the window and see's his saving grave from the evils of Jocktopus and Oscar notices it too as they are going outside the tanks this year to trick or treat with the other animals in the pet store. Oscar proclaims that everyone's invited...except for Jocktopus of course. Damn; I was hoping Randy Pincherson would not be invited too. So we head outside the tanks (already?!) as we see Shellsea looking like the electric haired banshee. I'm guessing it's Albert Glass and Jumbo Shrimp in the jackass costume...and it's really Fimberly and Koi Fish. Oooookkkkaaayyyy. Koi grunts that she's the ass. Albert Glass is the fish version of Harry Potter and Jumbo Shrimp is his owl friend. Sadly; Albert forgets the glasses. Clamantha is confused and wearing pink hair fuzzled. I see Clamantha is lazy too unless she's stalking Oscar. Bea acts by being a disgusting zombie which would be no worse if she was acting normally. POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... Oh wait; she's salivating at Steve Jackson who is the shirtless werewolf. THAT'S SEXIST~! Nice to see Oscar call him out on it too. And he bounces the weakest boobies ever and the girls still sell. Esgormargot is a ghost of course which is fitting since she's as invisible as Zipper is in Rescue Rangers. Oscar thinks that we're all here; but here comes Randy "I wish I was like Kenny Powers" Pincherson with his red wagon and wearing a pirate costume. I betcha Milo is pissed off because he didn't think of it first. And I wouldn't blame him.
Oscar asks why he should be trusted as Milo admits that he invited him for the big ass red wagon. Randy claims that Jocktopus steals his candy as well and normally wouldn't give out his services since they are like mayo and orange juice and they don't mix. I beg to differ Randy. They mix better than oil and water that's for sure. He'll do anything for candy and Milo sees it as being trustworthy. Well; that would be a good excuse not to be a backstabber and Oscar decides to let him join. If I don't see Randy Pincherson at least tease a heel turn before this episode ends; I'll be so disappointed. Bea yells eyes and we do the eye washing spot that always happens outside the tanks. So we scene change as Fimblery and Koi Fish are pulling the red wagon filled with fish and chips. Okay; just fish as Randy is on retain duty. And we get our first house as it's the dog house of Murphy from Doggonit. Leg comes down and gives candy. Yes my friends; a dog has a huge statch of candy on reverse for such things at Trick or Treating. Why do you ask?
Doorbell rings; second house, same recyled group pose, same promo and it's the bird from Flying Fish making his second appearance. He gives them apples (three each) and we go to door #3 and it's the KILLER CAT OF DEATH who screams and forces the wagon and the fish to ride backwards. Door #4 doorbell rings, and we see it's the Gecko tank (I'm guessing it's Nigel Geckoswski judging by the last name of the family on the doorbell) and he smells them and gives them deordorant. Not a bad choice all things considered. Door #5 bell rings and we get the six eyed old lady spider something and Bea does her less than Z-Grade porno acting skills on her. She gives her the feedback back and she fills it out and it's the second thumbs down. HAHA! I called that one before it happened I should note. If Bea cannot even scare clueless Milo; then she is hosed as a horror actress. Bea blows the spider lady off and does a Grade S SCARE OF DEATH in response. HA! Everyone sells it and she gives them candy as Bea is not amused. HA! BE JEALOUS BEA!
Door #6 is rung and it's the first official appearance of Snake and Mouse. Oh goody; I can finally do the tribute for Vanessa Marshall who started with Law & Order in 1994 and then the video game Dune 2000 in 1998 as the narrator. She was Irwin in Grim & Evil, and various cameos in mostly video games such as Prototype, No More Heroes, Gun, Viewtiful Joe 2 among others. WITCH is her DTVA debut. She also narrated Best Of Five, and did wardrobe for Sleeping Dogs Lie and Sahara. She has 119 titles to her resume; most of them video games. Strange Fame: Love & Sax and the Rage video game are her most recent credits. Snake you know as done by the same voice who does Shellsea. Snake is giddy as the fish do their usual trick or treating and Mouse hates the costume; most so Bea's. HAHA! Bea is PISSED off and that's her problem.
Snake's tail gives them lots of candy and we scene change to the filled up wagon as everyone enjoys some candy and there is no Jocktopus to screw with them. Everyone gets their contracted lines in as Fimberly wonders who is pulling the wagon as we pan over and it's Jocktopus and his football players. Damn; I just knew that with six minutes to go that this would happen. Jocktopus tells them to smell his feet even though he has tentacles and demands the candy. So Milo throws a piece of candy into the place where the bird seed is hidden. Jocktopus no sells because he's not stupid. So Oscar throws one into the same area and Jocktopus is resisting; but starting to crack. After two pieces of candy? Oh please Jock. And he finally cracks and tells them not to go anywhere; so everyone bails stage right with the wagon and the football players stand there and do absolutely nothing. I see they are still sore from Fish School Musical.
Everyone is not amused that Jocktopus found them in a Jocktopus free zone. I wonder if he's wearing a fish tank? If that doesn't play into the finish then this episode is going to suck. Oscar runs with the wagon and tells everyone that they will be fine as long as they don't run into obstacles and it's a dead end of junk at ten o'clock. So much for that plan as Oscar gets on the wagon and runs off the ramp; despite the ramp being non-existant. It goes into the air and bounces off the shelves that turn into ramps. Radio Flyer references abound as I yawn and don't care. Bea and Oscar have a bonding moment as Oscar suddenly loves Halloween now. And then a tire blows up. No really; I'm as shocked as you are since we are not even seven minutes into this episode. Milo looks at the damage and proclaims that it was pinched. UH OH! Can you smell heel turn coming as Randy blows them off claiming that Milo is accusing him of double crossing him to join Jocktopus. Answer: Does it really matter if you do Randy?
I mean; you are a greedy hell's poison backstabber in this cartoon. You don't have to join Jocktopus as Milo apologizes and then Randy admits that he turned heel. What a freakin shock that is as Randy eats marzipan for fun. Every single time; every F'N time Milo, he does this and he drops the quality of the episode like a stone. And he left a trail of marzipan on the floor which makes no sense whatsoever as Jocktopus is here with the football players. Oscar's reaction is AWESOME here as Randy admits that Jocktopus promised him half of the candy. And calls them ding dongs. So Jocktopus grabs everyone and squeezes them as Albert sums up the situation perfectly here. The football player taunt for a bit before Jocktopus replaces the wheel with one of them. Doesn't matter which one since all three are involved in pulling the wagon as Jocktopus puts a blanket over the candy as he gets on board. Randy wants to spilt up the candy and he gets double crossed and kicked off. What a shock that is?!
Jocktopus cuts a Whip It promo and we leave as Randy pleads for candy; but Jocktopus doesn't give a damn. HAHA! FINALLY! Someone double crossed Mr. Hell Poison who thinks he's Kenny Powers! And then he proclaims that he'll just buy the candy and we get the OUT OF NOWHERE helicopter as Randy climbs up; blows off the suckers and cuts his weak promo. Whatever Randy. Clamantha admits that she had a heck of a day as everyone sulks and cries badly. Fimberly making funny faces with Milo was cute though. And Koi Fish burying Steve Jackson's face and messing up his hair. Esgormagort gets her contracted line in (the same F'n one she uses in these situations) and Oscar is PISSED off. We see Milo trying to catch his tail and Oscar accuses Fimberly of writing love letters to Taylor Swordfish after she was given a restraining. Wait; WHAT THE HELL?! Where did that one come from?
Shellsea of course talks behind Oscar's back while being on her cell phone as Esgormargot asks what to do and Oscar tells them to get in the jackass costume. Ooookkkkkaaayyyy; methinks Oscar is on an illegal substance. So we cut to Jocktopus on wagon as he whips the talking football players driving the wagon and then we here comes the Western chase sequence. In a Halloween episode? Seriously?! Oscar kicks Albert Glass in the face and he claims that it tickled. Riiigggghhhhtttt Albert. You officially have Stockholm Syndrome as Bea tells him to stay focus as we run off as Oscar tells Jock to give up. Jock no sells and whips it as we dodge and run into the ant farm which shatters and here comes the ANTS FROM HELL. I'm calling it now: All the candy gets eaten by the ant and the fish learn about SHARING the candy. That's the only finish that makes sense now.
So Oscar demands Jock to surrender and Jock blows him off. So Oscar tells him if Bea scares him and Bea pops up and does her dumb howling spot again. If Jocktopus sells this then he has no heat left. I check the video....Dammit! Actually; YAY since Jocktopus was scared not by her being scary; but her bad acting. HAHA! So Jocktopus still has his heat as a heel. After all; I cannot argue with the overwhelming logic of Bea soft corn porno acting skills. Bea decides to accept it as everyone gets on the wagon somehow as Jocktopus hangs onto the side and his hat gets buzzsawed by the stampeding ants. Jocktopus pleads for help and Oscar agrees to it only if Jocktopus agrees to never terrorize them on Halloween again. Jocktopus thinks it over and decides to agree with it as we get the pinky swear and Jocktopus hates it; but sells anyway as he gets on. And then we break logic as the wagon is somehow on the top of the shelves and is about to go off the cliff.
Everyone panics; but this is what Oscar wants and we go off the cliff complete with candy whip on the football players and Powerpuff Girls slow motion. And despite being on the left side of the tanks in the background; they still manage to get into the left tank and despite the candy landing on the right tank; it still has it as the candy entombing them when they land on the ground in the fish tank. Bad, bad, bad, BAD FORM there guys! The TRIO OF GOOFS pop up and throw candy in response. Whatever. So we head to the HALLOWEEN ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as everyone in Freshwater High is having a good time as we pan over to the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE as Milo thanks Oscar for saving the day. Too bad he couldn't save the false logic of that last sequence. Oscar is all gushy inside as he proclaims that they don't have to worry about Jocktopus ruining Halloween again......
Now that should have been the end; but we go to the SPONGEBOB CARD OF DEATH without funny deadpan narrator to 24 days later as we see the entire gang at the table celebrating Thanksgiving with turkey and all the trimmings and Jocktopus breaks through the window and steals the turkey just after Oscar blesses it. HAHA! I actually like this ending better. Jocktopus yells his name and runs away stage right and that ends the episode at 10:40 approx. Just okay; but that last sequence for the finish was screwed up like an average match in Total Impact Wrestling. At least they didn't go for the obvious finish this time. ** 1/2 (50%).
Fish Talent Show: We begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Inflatable Legs. Oh lord; don't bring back Crazy Legs, please just don't) as Bud is bouncing a blue ball on his arm (NOT THAT ONE!). He smiles and then the KILLER CAT OF DOOM is on a unicycle juggling three colored balls (NOT THOSE ONES!) so Bud throws his away and walks out. Whatever as we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and we head onstage with Zeus Mussels doing shadow tricks while generally yelling (as per his gimmick) as this is his talent. He asks for the kids talent and everyone raises their hands. And then Zeus blows them off because he wants them to save it for the talent show. Everyone loves it so much that they pop for it. Hey; it's better than Zeus' usual class: Scream at every possible moment like a heel. Albert Glass asks what is the prize and Zeus shows them a pack of Super Duper Coupons.
And everyone pops for it. Yeah; because the most common piece of paper in history is something to cheer about.It makes store owner jump for joy after their attempt to gain customers backfired in the face of higher prices due to theft, oil prices and fraud. Zeus yells at them to shine and we scene change as everyone dresses up and practices. I see the Lobster Nephews have returned with a trampoline and Jumbo Shrimp looks like a carnival barker. And he's performing a duet with Albert Glass too. Esgormargot does her ten seconds of work by twirling a ribbon on a stick and it gets in her face and she gives up. Okay; she doesn't say it; but we know she did since she states that trying is weak sauce. Bo Gregory makes me chuckle by rolling an ear of corn. HAHA! Razor Von Doom and his EMO Goth band are doing their usual routine (as seen in several episodes before) which is classical music. Ummm; yeah.
So we cut to Oscar and Milo backstage as Oscar is impressed by the competition and Milo proclaims that they need to step their game up. Oscar thinks they have no talent. Memo to Oscar: You do have a talent; it involves flushing yourself down the toilet. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... Milo disagrees and twirls upside down which is not as impressive underwater. The girls (Bea, Shellsea and "I have more focus episodes than Shellsea" Clamantha) are excited; well Bea is anyway. Bea claims that they have bursting talent. Yeah; one has a soft core porno voice, one dresses like a female stereotype and the other has a Granny voice that gets easily fooled by laptops. Bursting with talent indeed! Shellsea has the tight belt on today and Clamantha wants a love circle. Geez; I wonder who that will involve? Oscar, run now or your ROOM FEED!
Shellsea wants to lay it on thick in roundabout terms and they hold hands in a circle. They have the love in and they are great....in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummm.... Bea holds up their hands (and tongue) as she proclaims that they will dominate...in bed. And we jackhammer Bea, Shellsea and Clamantha as stars pour out of them...in bed. This turns out to be a setup for them to become the Salsa Crazy Legs Girls. Yeah; it's really evil when Randy Pincherson steals from Milo; but it's perfectly okay to defame and steal Milo's Crazy Legs routine. Not to mention the fact that I do not want to SEE that nonsense ever again. Shellsea likes it and Clamantha springs a leak as her legs are inflatable, just like her boyfriends. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! BOINK! OUCH! Ummmm...
She blows it up again as Bea claims that she has a killer routine...in bed. And she shows the DANCE PATTERN OF PAIN AND SUFFERING as Shellsea was ready before it went in style and we DISCO JACKHAMMER OF AWESOMENESS~! She may be the most stereotypical female in the show; but she's the most awesome girl of the group. And now we DANCE, DANCE, DANCE TO THEIR DOOM. HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Thank you; you are a lifesaver. And we sing and this one is very good which ends with Clamantha getting her ass kicked and she pinballs throughout the theatre. And magically; everyone has left. Whatever guys. Clamantha is upside down on the stage and she gets all snippy and almost swears legit (what the he..ck?). Apparently; Shellsea kicked her in the face. I see the "kick Clamantha in the face" program I installed in Shellsea is working fine. BOINK! OUCH! Ummmm....
Shellsea's defensive is downright laughable that I laughed at it. Seriously; I did. And the fact that I like it when Clamantha gets thrown around. Clamantha blows it off as Bea tells them to keep their eyes on the prize. Clamantha ignores it (YAY!) and demands an apology and Shellsea no sells because she wants an apology for Clamantha busting her inflatable foot. To be honest; I think Clamantha should apologize; since she has a hard face. POW! OUCH! Ummmm....Clamantha no sells and Shellsea tells her to shut her face and both leave in opposite directions. I think they left because they realized that Bea has little talent anyway; but they cannot say that because Bea is the star and we cannot have her lose face now can't we? Bea can only giggle like an insecure wench....
...and we scene change to the lunch room as Bea has her lunch tray and notices that Clamantha and Shellsea are at the table and refuse to speak to each other. So I'm guessing that this is the writer's way of getting Shellsea a focus episode. Bea (complete with mature lighting) proclaims that this could get ugly. NO?! REALLY?! So Bea sits down in the middle as neither side seems to want to see each other either. Bea tries to make small talk; but no dice as Bea wants the coupon book badly and in comes Milo dressed up as a puppet Robin Hood. HAHA! We then zoom out to see Oscar controlling Milo and wearing the CHL mustache and calling Milo a puppet boy. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I may be an old fart; but Milo Moments are usually funny. Milo asks for feedback and Bea calls it cute; but she wants them to cut the act out. I personally disagree Bea; if Milo cannot make Shellsea and Clamantha smile, then you are screwed Bea...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummm...
Oscar decides to let it go as they float up ending with a flourish as Bea proclaims that they are somehow going to let Puppet Boy and Toilet Master... POW! OUCH! Ummmm....win as we see Milo and Oscar demonstrate their act to Albert Glass and Jumbo Shrimp and Albert laughs. Good for him too as neither Shellsea nor Clamantha sell it because they have nothing to say. In Shellsea's case, this is terrible. In Clamantha's case; that is an improvement. BOINK! OUCH! Ummmmm.... Fimberly enters and calls this unacceptable. Here's a little clue Fimberly: Replace one of them in the Salsa Dance. That'll show them, most so Clamantha. Oh; and since she's been kicked in the face before; that means Shellsea should apologize. On second thought; you can kiss my ass Fimberly!
Bea is not liking this one bit as Esgormargot takes Shellsea's side and demands that Clamantha apologizes. When the Zipper sounds like the sane one of the group; it means Clamantha should pucker up and kiss Shellsea's feet.....and apologize of course. They slap skin and Shellsea gets goo of course because Esgormargot has Chum Chum's nose. Or something. Anyhow; Koi Fish enters and sides with Clamantha, while Jumbo Shrimp sides with Shellsea because he's scared of Shellsea. Oooookkkaaay as Bea grabs Albert and wants him to make it stop because he's the sane one of the series. Albert does not take this as a ringing endorsement (YAY!) as we have a problem and Bea drops him and he shatters off-screen. Bea oversells panic and here comes THE EVIL ONE HIMSELF. You know who he is; you know....and he's selling shirts to both guys like the greedy bastard that he is. So Sunny takes Clamantha's side and Jocktopus takes Shellsea's side. Okay; Jocktopus is a legit bully, why would he take on ANY side?! Bo Gregory and the Chovie Twins join Clamantha, The Lobster Nephews take Shellsea's side as we go outside the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and we have a shouting match with Team Clamantha VS. Team Shellsea. So the final teams look like this....
Team
Shellsea:
Shellsea,
Jocktopus, Esgormargot, Jumbo Shrimp, The Lobster Nephews, Punt, Mr.
Baldwin, Nurse Fishington.
Team
Clamantha:
Clamantha,
Koi Fish, Fimberly, Sunny, Bo Gregory, The Chovie Twins, Fumble,
Doctor Frog aka Deranged Kermit, Principal Stickler.
Team
Neutral:
Bea,
Oscar, Milo, Randy Pincherson.
I have nothing really to say myself. We zoom into the entrance as Bea is PISSED as she must do something about this madness. So We head to the Yearbook Room as Clamantha is using her mouth as a pair of scissors to cut Shellsea pictures out of every yearbook she could find. How fitting that Bea Stays In The Picture started this show and we end season one with Bea Stays In The Picture. Bea comes in and the scissor fly out of her mouth and stick on the dress. They are the same green scissors I always use. So Clamantha stole my scissors. Yeap; she should apologize to Shellsea and I take Shellsea's side of things. Bea wants to get the Salsa Crazy Legs team back together and Clamantha refuses until Shellsea apologizes. Well; that was pretty direct. Bea then lies that Shellsea actually apologized and that she's sweating the fact that Clamantha wasn't there and Shellsea wants to "tell" her that Clamantha was right and she was wrong. Are we going to sing the "I was right" song? Because if we are; I'm deducting a star from the episode. Clamantha teases a no sell and Bea panics and sweats like an idiot before Clamantha spits a pearl right in Bea's kisser. HA! Bea breathes a sigh of relief and Clamantha wants some help in pasting the pictures back in.
So we scene change to a dressing room which so happens to be Shellsea's. It sezs Girrrls on it and it's in stereotypical female colors. And inside is the dirtest bathroom I have ever seen in a school as Bea is pleading for Shellsea because it tears her up to get worked up about this. Even though Shellsea sells like an emo even when she's angry. Bea tells her that Clamantha has officially "apologized" and Shellsea doesn't buy it and talks about lipstick which gives me the DISCO JACKHAMMER OF DOOM to amuse me some more. HEE HEE! Bea proclaims that Shellsea was totally in the right in this one. I agree that Shellsea is in the right; but Bea is a lying little wench. Bea wants to return to rehearsal; and Shellsea no sells. YIPPEEEEE! Bea panics and Shellsea finally relents and we do the fist pump. Geez; those are deadly man, as deadly as knee on knee collision in ice hockey.
Then the door opens and Koi Fish is crying for goodness knows what reason and jumps over the bathroom stall much to the shock of Shellsea and Bea. Ooooookkkkkaaayyyyy. So we head back on stage as Bea is doing her Salsa lead dance wearing her dumb outfit of course as Clamantha and Shellsea re-enter with their inflatable legs and fruit hat of course. They look at each other and bow to show respect. Bea likes this (BOO! HISS! You are a bald face liar Bea!) as the past is behind them and we dance and sing again...and Clamantha gets her ass kicked again. HA! Shellsea is PISSED off and he uses her flower to deflate the inflatable legs and quits on the spot. Now it's BEA'S turn to apologize in my view; for being a LIAR~!
Anyhow; Bea wants to do a duet with Clamantha and Clamantha quits because Bea might kick her ass too. Nice to see that she NOTICED that Bea was lying all along. Bea proclaims that the dream is dead (death reference #1) and panics by holding her eye sockets down on the closeup complete with jackhammered background. So we segue to Bea crying inside a room as Bea plops onto a blue loveseat and sobs. We discover that she has called for Miss Lips which cannot be a good idea because we zoom out and discover that Oscar and Milo are tangled in the puppet string. HAHA! Miss Lips calls this a royal mess. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments as Lips pulls on Milo's fins. Oscar wants scissors and apparently Miss Lips stole the scissors from Clamantha as she destroys the desk furnishings with the scissors and Milo panics on cue. HEE HEE! Bea unties them and Oscar and Milo thank her for it. Bea proclaims that this is one thing she can do right and sobs like a baby. I have no sympathy for her since she lied to both of them about apologizing. Lips claims that she is having a poo-poo day; and Lips likes the legs and ponders about them before losing herself...AGAIN! Bea gives Oscar the legs (because he likes them too) and the dance routine since Oscar needs an act (Huh? So the puppet Robin Hood Boy is out? Dammit!) and Milo gets Bea's wig. Oscar asks Bea if she wants to dance with them and Bea realizes that she didn't think that and agrees.
So we segue to the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE with their inflatable legs. Bea is wearing her normal costume; Oscar has the green onion sambero and Milo is dressed like a chili pepper. SCORE!! So Miss Lips claps and Bea tells them to follow her lead as we dance and sing again and Milo kicks Oscar right in the face of course; just to be Milo. HAHA! Oscar sells pain of course. Wow; Clamantha is a wuss because Oscar at least stood his ground this time. Bea panics again; but Oscar assures her that Milo is just a clutz. After so many Milo Moments; HE JUST REALIZED THAT NOW?! Bea looks at the dance routine and realizes something wrong with it as Miss Lips admires her arms as paddles. Whatever Miss Lips; mother of Jeff Lips. Anyhow; we return to the stage as Bea wants to show Clamantha and Shellsea something and we REPEAT THE DAMN DANCE which allows Oscar to get kicked in the face again. Shellsea has the Gruffi pose on full blast (didn't like the underselling eh?) as Bea explains that it was the dance pattern that was defective. And who drew up the dance pattern? Bea of course and I doubt that she would apologize for it either. Shellsea isn't buying it and Clamantha wants Milo to apologize. So Milo DOES IT AGAIN and Shellsea no sells. AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! Oscar is yelling for mercy and Shellsea finally gets it after some reverse psychology. Bea shows the dance moves and admits that it's no one fault except for her own and it sounds like she's weaseling it too as she had the dancers too close therefore the fatal flaw always occured. Next week on FOX: When hyperbole goes bad!
Shellsea and Clamantha apparently realize that this fight is pointless and decide to make up and live happily ever after. Milo is not happy because he was liking this routine too. Geez; I wonder why Milo?! HEE HEE! Bea turns around and we got the ANGRY FACE OF DEATH jackhammer as we see Zeus holding a sign !Cinco Pescados! Don't ask me what it means; I don't know much Spanish anyway. The curtain opens and we have the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE PLUS GRANNY CLAM AND WALKING FEMALE STEREOTYPE appearing to a packed crowd as everyone for no apparent reason has decided to cheer on both females even though they we at each others throats picking sides earlier. Bad logic break there guys. And so we dance and they show enough respect to not sing as Milo does the best dance moves of the group.
Shellsea and Milo shoot the fruit cannons and we get a rain of fruit as Jumbo Shrimp and Albert Glass are impressed themselves. We finish quickly as everyone pops for it. Meh; it's a *** dance; mostly for the fruit cannons as the biggest fruit in the audience loves it. I talking about Coach Salmons of course as Zeus bounces in and declares this act the winner of the Fish Talent Show as the group embraces the coupon book complete with rainbow jackhammer background. Pfft; whatever. Fimberly and Koi Fish are the ONLY ones who still believe in Clamantha are backstage looking stunned because they didn't go on yet and Fimberly gasps in horror as we circle fade out to end the episode and officially season one at 10:40 approx. Just okay; mostly due to Milo and Shellsea being themselves of course. Just don't ever allow Fimberly to choose sides ever again, Okay? *** 1/4 (65%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this was the usual Halloween plot of getting candy without the horror and grace of Garfield, but it was put together well enough to stand on it's own and Jocktopus was pretty much okay in this one. Most of all when he double crossed Randy Pincherson which I was waiting to see done. The finish itself would have been great if they didn't ruin the final sequence as the candy landed in the wrong tank; but it acted like it moved and then jumped into the right fish tank which makes zero sense. And what is with Fimberly and that restraining order she got? I hope the writers have something up their sleeves for Season 2 to justify that throwaway line. And I liked the ending. So it was just your average Fish Hooks love in with a screwed up finish.
We finally end season one for real with a middling episode. Okay; the Salsa Inflatable Legs thing was pretty cool; but the whole fight between Clamantha and Shellsea was just silly; make even more so by the school choosing sides and then disregarding it as a one off joke. So I didn't care about it and Bea only made it worse by lying about it and then crying to no sympathy heat whatsoever. And Bea's apology is so weasel-worded that it isn't funny. I did like Milo and Oscar's puppet routine which was cool and the ending was all right despite the logic breaking at the end with the school returning neutral for no reason that I can think of. Overall; just another average episode in Fish Hooks. So that officially ends the seemly endless season one of Fish Hooks. Season Two will return in early November; but I won't be ranting on them until 2012; so there you go. So that leaves the last ten episodes of Kick Buttowski left to do. So......
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time.