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Fish Hooks
Merry Fishmas, Milo/Milo On The Lam Rant
Reviewed: 12/21/2011
…And A Happy Old Year.
Well; it had to happen sooner or later. Fish Hooks just had to have a Christmas episode; and Milo trying to avoid detention too. It's very difficult to rant on Christmas specials when the old episodes from years past have set the bar extremely high for such plots. I've said time and time again that Jolly Molly Christmas is the standard bearer for DTVA and that trying to do a pathos episode now would be impossible for anyone to top. I'm hoping this is all comedy since it would still be difficult; but not impossible to top It's A Wonderful Leaf. As for Milo On The Lam; this episode hasn't even aired in North America yet; but has aired in the UK. So how do these episodes do?! Let's rant on shall we...?
Merry Fishmas, Milo is written and storyboards done by Sherm Cohen, C.H. Greenblatt, William Reiss and Carson Kuglar. The story is done by Nick Confalone, Neal Dusedau, Megan McCarthy, and Tim McKeon. The direction is done by William Reiss and C.H. Greenblatt. Milo On The Lam is written and storyboards by Blake Lemon and Neil Graf. The story is done by Nick Confalone, Neal Dusedau, Megan McCarthy, and Tim McKeon. Carson did work on Hey Arnold! (series and movie), Stuart Little, Party Wagon, and Spongebob Squarepants (movie and series). Brandy & Mr. Whiskers is his DTVA debut. That's it. All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
Merry Fishmas, Milo: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Fake Beards) as Bud's shop is decorated with Christmas decorations and a wreath on the back of the car. Bud is playing Santa on a chair asking the animals what they want for Christmas. We head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as the fish are cheering because we have the flash snow storm and Milo mugs for the camera. Continuity Error #1: It's supposed to be Fish Christmas or Fishmas as per the title, but he acts as if it was Christmas only. Milo's having a Fishmas party too and everyone is invited. He then throws a snowball into the camera and we segue to the Teddy Ruxpin song of doom which I refuse to call. The guise of this is that Milo hands out green invite cards to his party. Most of the spots involve the usual in-character stuff: Fimberly being clumsey, Piranha and Jocktopus burying the nerds, Clamantha being dumb enough to stick her tongue on a steel pole etc. Cute spot as the emo goth fish made bat angels in the snow at a graveyard no less. Who sezs the new Disney doesn't allow such things?! So we end with Milo doing a flip off a one horse open sleigh and then he notices someone ho'ing and a shadow of a snowman who looks like Fish Santa. Milo gets giddy about this; and then Bea shatters my hopes and dreams and pops from the head to greet Milo. Milo's response is cute (Well ginger my bread. Come on; you got to admit that pun was charming.) as Bea declares herself a mall Santa and does the worst ho'ing that doesn't involve...you guessed it. POW! OUCH! Ummmm...So did she apparently.
Anyhow; Milo wants her to wrap his present while twisting his head and Bea admits that she didn't get the job but thinks she nailed the part and those details still don't mean a damn thing to her. So Milo sticks the invite card in the kisser and wants to celebrate her big break as a mall Santa and then bails to help Oscar decorate while bowling over Bea. No male on female contact? What no male on female contact? So we return to Oscar's house as Milo enters through the door and the place is STILL normal. Milo wants answers to this outrage as he heads downstairs and see Oscar near his computer sulking. Milo does some more booking names and then Oscar panics because he has a...wait for it...a pimple! OH MY GOD NO! IT'S THE PIMPLE OF THE MPAA! Oh wait; it's just a stupid pimple. Milo even agrees with me that Oscar is overreacting so you know Oscar is being stupid since Bea being stupid is sexist right?! Then Milo slaps Oscar silly. HAHA! Doesn't remove the pimple though as Oscar looks in the mirror. So Milo goes for pimple removal skill #2: a pizza which is so greasy that he smears it on Oscar's face. HAHA! Even funnier is that he does it all the time and he looks like a demented mutant and then he works it by jumping onto Oscar's face while using his ass to suck the pizza into Oscar's face. HAHA! Oscar pushes him off and Milo somehow teleports behind Oscar when he returns as the pizza doesn't work. Oscar calls the pimple stress related due to the party. Milo claims that parties are easy and Oscar breaks out in a rash of pimples on everything that needs to be done. HEE HEE! I think Oscar's controlling them to weasel his way out of the party. After all; a certain female clam is invited and that can only spell doom for Oscar.
Oscar panics because he can no longer show his face. Considering that Clamantha is invited; is that really a bad thing? Milo consoles him and tells him to lie down and rest the face while he decorates the place. Oscar tries to speak; but Milo shuts him up because the face sezs it all. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. So we head to the mall as shoppers are outside and the kids are causing chaos and mayhem inside. Yes folks; Barb is back and blowing off more than ever before. She wants Fish Santa right now and Bea pops from the chimney and floats down to begin her job. Barb tells her that she's not Fish Santa and she stuffs Bea in a Fish Elf suit. Are we really shocked to see that? Bea wonders who is playing Fish Santa and we pan over to the chair and it's THE EVIL ONE~! Seriously; it is. Goodbye quality episode; we hardly knew ye. Why is it that every episode involving Barb is crappy? Bea cannot believe it as Barb claims that Randy is big; despite being way shorter than Louie in Jolly Molly Christmas. Bea points out the obvious flaw in Randy's body; but Randy counters with the flip cardboard model of Santa which doubles as a place for children to sit in his lap. Randy admits that this is all for the money and Bea protests this. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Bea? Barb takes the box and floats out as Randy calls Bea a naughty little girl and winks. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Now how am I going to mock Randy now?! Bea's response indicates that someone got crap past the radar too.
So we head back to Oscar's house as Milo is decorating the place and not doing a bad job of it. Unless you count the tree as it collapses on the floor and buries Milo. Milo pops up and proclaims that this isn't working and that if he doesn't get this place decorated in time; he ruins Christmas for everyone. He slips on a bowling ball and does a MAN-SIZED splat into the fish tank and it doesn't shatter. BOO! HISS! Milo looks at the sky AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and wishes that Fish Santa was here to perform some Christmas magic. A star shoots in the sky and then we see Fish Santa beside Milo OUT OF NOWHERE. And he speaks a lot like Bobcat Goldthwait. Oh wait. Milo is as stunned as I am.
Fish
Santa is voiced by Bobcat Goldthwait and according to the USIMDB:
Robert
Francis 'Bobcat' Goldthwait, born May 26, 1962, is an American
comedian. He is most widely known for his high pitch voice during his
comedy acts. He was born in Syracuse, New York in 1962. He decided on
a career as a comedian at an early age and was performing
professionally while still in high school at the age of 15. He and
his classmate, Tom
Kenny, performed in a comedy duo, billing themselves as "Bobcat
and Tomcat". Goldthwait became recognized as a solo stand-up
comedian and had three televised concert specials in the 1980s: Bob
Goldthwait - Is He Like That All the Time?, Evening
with Bobcat Goldthwait: Share the Warmth (1987) (V) and Meat
Bob.
Goldthwait's first major film role was in Police
Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985). He reprised the role in
the next two films in the series. During the fall of 1993, Goldthwait
did stand-up material as an opening act for Nirvana
on what would be their final North American tour. He has made several
guest appearances on talk shows as well as comedy programs including
"The Ben Stiller
Show" (1992). On May 9, 1994, he made a controversial
appearance on "The
Tonight Show with Jay Leno" (1992), where, on impulse, he
set a couch on fire. This incident was then the basis of the plot for
his subsequent appearance on "The
Larry Sanders Show" (1992).
One of the most
recognizable features of Goldthwait's performances is his voice.
Goldthwait has voiced characters on the television series "Capitol
Critters" (1992); "The
Moxy Show" (1995); "Unhappily
Ever After" (1995); "Hercules"
(1998) and "Buzz
Lightyear of Star Command" (2000). He has also appeared, as
himself, hosting the comedy quiz show "Bobcat's
Big Ass Show" (1998). Goldthwait has released two comedy
albums: "Meat Bob" (1988) on Chrysalis Records and "I
Don't Mean to Insult You, but You Look Like Bobcat Goldthwait"
(23 September, 2003) on Comedy Central Records. He made his feature
film directorial debut
with Shakes the Clown
(1991), which he wrote and starred in as well. His film, Windy
City Heat (2003) (TV), won a Comedia Award
for Best Comedy Film at Montreal's Just for Laughs Film Festival in
2004. He married Ann Luly in 1986 at the age of 24. The couple have
two children (now grown), Tasha and Taylor, and divorced in May 1998.
At one time, Goldthwait was engaged to his "Unhappily
Ever After" (1995) co-star, Nikki Cox, but the couple has
since split.
Bobcat began directing ABC's "Jimmy
Kimmel Live!" (2003) in the fall 2004 season. Since joining
the show's crew, the ratings went up to 2 million viewers a night,
with the numbers rising nearly 50% with the teenage demographic. In
May of 2006, he left to pursue his film career as a
filmmaker/director but has since returned to the show. Goldthwait's
most recent feature, "Sleeping Dogs Lie" (formally Stay
(2006/I)), starring Melinda
Page Hamilton, was in the 2006 Sundance Film Festival and it was
part of the "Independent Dramatic Features" competition.
"Sleeping Dogs Lie" is about a youthful, impulsive sexual
encounter which opens the door to a dark comedy about the
complexities of honesty.
It was also nominated for the Grand Jury Prize in the "Dramatic Features" category. "Sleeping Dogs Lie" was picked up in a mid-six figure deal for distribution in north America by Roadside Attractions & Samuel Goldwyn Films at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival. A French film company called "Gaumont" bought it for the international rights to the film in France. "Tartan Films", a UK-based production company, also bought it for international rights in the United Kingdom. The film was released in the US on October 20, 2006. His acting debut was in Massive Retaliation in 1984 as Ernie Rust. Hercules The Animated Series as Pain is his DTVA debut, and then he was in Buzz Lightyear of Star Command as XL, House of Mouse as Pain and Nosy in Lilo & Stitch The Series. I Confess is his most recent acting credit. He has 78 acting credits, 14 directing credits (debut: Shakes the Clown in 1991, most recent: God Bless America in 2011.), seven writing credits, two producer credits (Stay and Windy City Heat), three soundtrack credits and 50 Self credits. He appears on Hollywood Squares a lot like Gilbert Gottfried does.
Milo then panics and MURDERS Fish Santa with the purse thinking it is an inturder. HAHA! Fish Santa claims that he is real and Milo does a Grade S fisking of Fish Santa which includes seeing if his belly is filled with jelly. Fish Santa is basically a yellow fat fish wearing Santa gear in sparkles and acting like Bobcat Goldthwait. Apparently; what makes him the real deal is Fish Santa has a gingerbread tattoo who is holding two candycanes. Time to redecorate as he uses his Santa Finger of Magic to turn the mess into Christmas presents, a buffet table and shaking ass. Milo is loving this as we segue to Teddy Ruxpin song number two and holy crap; they are using the copyrighted song It's Magic. Didn't see that one coming at all. More shooting magic as the whole place is decorated properly with holly berries and leaves as the border. Milo is so loving this as Fish Santa sits down and wiggles to Milo pointing out that the Christmas tree still needs to be done; which looks like something out of a Peanut's special. Milo tugs on Santa's beard and pleads to be Santa's little helper. Fish Santa agrees and untugs his mitt to reveal a human arm (!!) and Milo embraces it and feels the spirits going through his fish veins. Santa shoots a laser which changes the tree into a Christmas tree. Milo loves this too as there is still a need for a tree topper. Fish Santa and Milo ponder over this....
....and we segue back to the Fish Mall because the writers simply hate me and want more facetime for THE EVIL ONE~! And he lives up to his name as Elf Bea wants Mall Evil Santa to allow the kid on his lap to tell him what he wants for Christmas. Randy blows her off and uses the out of nowhere remote control and ejects the kid off his lap and he lands right on the table where a fatass yellow fish is drinking and generally bored. Nice faceplant there kid. Bea is PISSED off at Randy as Randy agrees to stop because this mall sucks and he's going home as he takes off twinkletoes style. Bea has had enough and it's clear that she has some pent up rage and revenge for the diary incident as she tackles Randy down and we have a Mall Santa Elf catfish fight. CATFISH FIGHT! CATFISH FIGHT! CATFISH FIGHT! Barb comes in demanding answers to this outrage and Randy lies through his teeth about listening to those children and Bea got pissed off and attacked him. Other than the listening part; it's totally accurate. Bea pleads her case and I betcha she gets fired as a result. And damn I'm good as Bea gets Barb her elf hat and sulks off. I don't know why she is upset. Considering who she is dealing with; this is a blessing in disguise and we no longer have to deal with THE EVIL ONE anymore. So this episode's quality just went up.
So we head back to Milo and Fish Santa still pondering over the choice for a tree topper. They cannot decide and Fish Santa gets the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS, steam and calls it a lump of coal in his stocking. HEE HEE! Milo tells him not to worry because he has an expert to back him up as he opens the trapdoor and wants Oscar to come out and Oscar yells at him that he won't come out. Fish Santa claims that this is needed for a perfect Christmas. For the sake of argument; I'm not going to argue that overwhelming logic as Milo claims that Oscar is making Fish Santa cry. Which is exactly what Fish Santa does plus ho'ing which ruins the effect somehow since the ho'ing he does is lame acting. Oscar pops out realizing that Fish Santa is here and he shows his pimple face and Fish Santa screams like Mrs. Saint Nick after one too many Egger Bombs from the Fish Easter Bunny. Oh come on! You knew that joke was coming a mile away. Fish Santa trips on some gifts; goes through the tubes and then get shredded into the fan (!!!); but somehow remains intact minus his clothes and mitts, plus his underwater when he drops on the floor. I didn't think they would allow that spot either. Fish Santa tells them not to worry; he'll zap his clothes back on, but his magic hands are deader than my sex life. Fish Santa cannot deliver presents now and Oscar is too scary and Milo's too dumb, so we need a convincing Fish Santa and in comes Bea sulking as she tries to be the Simpson comic book critic; but stops when she notices Fish Santa. Yeah; like that is believable. If I saw Fish Santa looking like that; I would think he was an intruder. But we can't have Bea looking dumb because that's...you guessed it.
Bea wonders why he's here with arms broken and naked. It's funny how the new Disney can say that word; but old Disney could not. And who cares if it's distrubing anyway? Violence is pretty distrubing, being naked is not since we do it all the time. In private yes; but this IS a private home. Milo asks if she can play Fish Santa and save Christmas and Bea yodels and ho's as he gets her suitcase of costumes (helpfully labeled as such) and puts on the costume. Milo's plan is to have Milo and Bea save Christmas while Oscar tries to fix Fish Santa. Oscar isn't too thrilled as Bea and Oscar plop on the out of nowhere sleigh and eight tiny fish reindeer. We go into the sky as we see some reindeer jumping for fun as Milo throws presents to good nerds like Albert Glass (who gets a seapony) and Jumbo Shrimp (who gets the secrets of the universe). We see Bea with her sack of toys inside Shellsea's house as Shellsea floats into the living room with cookies and milk as she comments on Santa's weight and likes it. What? No Disco Jackhammer?! BOO! HISS! Milo (as elf) wakes up a sleeping Mr. Baldwin of course, because Mr. Baldwin deserves some Christmas cheer since he's not Mr. Mufflin. Baldwin wakes up after Bea and Milo bail and invokes the FCC HORN OF CENSORSHIP of course. And yes; even Barb gets a Christmas present and a raspberry blowoff from Santa Bea. We see the sleigh riding into the night...
..and then we segue to Oscar sitting down with Fish Santa tending to Fish Santa's broken hands using ointment. Fish Santa hand's feel better as Oscar calls this the only good thing he can do on Christmas Eve. Fish Santa blows him off thinking he can do more right than that and Oscar blows it off because his face has pimples on it. Fish Santa tries to pep him up; but no dice as we hear a loud bang and then the door is kicked open and in comes Milo proclaiming that Christmas is saved, all thanks to to Milo's awesome air guitar without the guitar playing. HAHA! In comes Bea who is apparently on fire literally; blowing off Milo for parking the sleigh. I see Milo got his parking skills from Kit Cloudkicker. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Hey...Bea notices something and Milo proclaims that it's a tree topper as we see Fish Santa using Oscar as a tree topper with a star on his face. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oscar is totally clueless, like a good dork would be. He clinbs down and sits down on the floor as we get the long sequence as his hands are being restored and getting so better; that his clothes are on and the magic hands shoot at the door and it opens to reveal the students from Freshwater High coming in. It's time to PART-IE~! Did I mention the magic turned the floor into a skating rink with the tree in the middle. Everyone cheers this on as the best Christmas ever as Clamantha float up with mistletoe hanging from a pipe cleaner hanging from top of her as she wants to pucker up on pimple faced Oscar. HAHA! Not even the force of the pimple will deny Clamantha some kissy-kissy stuff. Oscar screams as we zoom out to the far shot of the tank as we get the television Christmas card spot with candy canes. Happy Holidays indeed as we end the episode at 10:20 approx. Well; they played it for comedy and it delievered well enough, but the old fart bug of better Christmas pasts doesn't allow it to be awesome. It also doesn't help when Barb and Randy Pincherson ruin the fun for me. Call it *** 3/4 (75%).
Milo On The Lam: We begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Justice) as ostrich is being chased in the pet shop by Bud. We head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and into the hallway as the students are listening to the PA system. We find out that it's Jumbo Shrimp in his private radio room. I couldn't make out what he was saying (the audio on my source is pretty bad by the way); but the joke is that he lost his sandwhich and he is looking for it as he plastered papers of a lost sandwich on the wall as the students all sit down in their seat in Mr. Baldwin's class as Jumbo Shrimp completes his hall monitor address. I'm guessing Oscar quitting in Good Morning Freshwater was real after all. Then we get a closeup shot of Mr. Baldwin invoking the gong and everyone oversells it. Mr. Baldwin wants them to meditate and close their eyes as Mr. Baldwin wants to go to the teacher's lounge as he slides his chair towards the door; but now he's stuck in the chair. Mr. Baldwin bounces as someone has glued his chair and everyone gasps in horror as Mr. Baldwin wants to know who did this. Milo of course thinks this is all funny which probably means he'll be blamed for it even though it's clear that he didn't do it. Evidence #1: No glue tub or stick anywhere on Milo's desk. Okay; I do have to admit that this is pretty funny; but it only incriminates Milo as Mr. Baldwin proclaims that Milo is going to detention BABEE. Milo panics like mad. Memo to Baldwin: Check Milo's desk and see if he opened a vat of glue. If the glue doesn't fit; you have to aquit! I'm not going to bother going over the exchange because it turns into a pissing contest to see which side is more unlikable. I'm guessing Mr. Baldwin in this case since Milo has enough sense to spit literally in water the whole time. Baldwin pushes the panic button under his desk (Question: Do they call it that in real life?) and in comes the hall monitor who is clearly NOT Jumbo Shrimp. Huh? So Clamantha is the hall monitor? I don't get this logic at all.
The pink octopi unglues Baldwin from the desk and Clamantha asks what he wants and Baldwin accuses Milo of gluing him to the chair. I just love this school justice crap; no due process, no checking for evidence, just an accusation based on Milo laughing at something that was funny. Who would want this kind of justice? Oh yeah; Hollywood. Milo gets taken away like a criminal by the octopi and Milo claims that he's been framed. Considering the lack of evidence, we all know it's THE EVIL ONE who did it. Bea and Oscar are horrified by this. It's very hard to take this seriously when you seen a full episode in Ducktales of Scrooge going to prison and getting framed for Grand Theft Picture. Which is probably the writers intentions in the first place. Cannot say I blame them. Bea wants to break Milo out of detention and Oscar doesn't like it taking that risk. Bea insists because Milo is their dumb friend and they nod. Funny how they shouted this out right in front of Mr. Baldwin's class. I'm guessing the Seanut butter coffee has kicked in. So we head into the hallway as Milo pleads and protests this while being dragged by pink octopi while Clamantha bounces around like a good little clam who has a stalking crush on Oscar. Clamantha claims that he's not going to detention; he's going to be stuffed into a big fish like detention as a big ass CGI fish opens up it's mouth to reveal a desk. Milo panics on cue. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are. We cut to Bea and Oscar as Bea reveals her Krackpotkin plan which is for Oscar to distract her while Milo gets saved by Bea. Oscar asks how to do it and Bea floats away claiming that he will figure it out. That shouldn't take long at all no siree. Oscar sweats as he waves hello to Clamantha and naturally Clamantha turns around. So Oscar counters with the dreaded Olivia Netwon John Dance of Doom~! HEE HEE! More ass shaking and Clamantha falls for it, DUH! Bea grabs Milo and bails as she blows her cover and Oscar bails with them and all Clamantha can do is swear in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (what the heck?).
And so we swim down the hallway as Oscar wants to hide in the janitor's closet, but Milo refuses because he wants to clear his name and he knows who did it as he see THE EVIL ONE at his locker bringing out some flour. Well; that eliminates him from the picture right away doesn't it? Unless they are going for the Bad Reflection On You twist; but knowing the writers, I doubt it. Randy takes the flour and goes into Home Ecomonics class to mix the flour into a bowl as Milo shows Baldwin on his text phone. Wait; he text the pictures?! Seriously?! Doesn't that incriminate Milo right there? Randy puts the cake in the oven and claims that he didn't do it because he's more calculating and would never stoop to something that primitive. Well; he has a point there guys as he takes the cake out of the oven and twinkletoes away to the center of the hallway where he decorates the cake and then pushes a button and it springs and nails our babyfaces on the X spot which appears out of nowhere. Ummm; yeah whatever. He's the EVIL ONE Randy Pincherson and twinkletoes off stage right. Again; you wish you were Kenny Powers Randy. And speaking of Miss Stalker; here comes Clamantha and her pink octopi bouncing in. She brings out the transmitter and somehow we break logic as the splatter mess is about ten feet up the wall and naturally Clamantha misses it easily. See; this is why talking on your cellphone while walking is bad. There ought to be a law against it. Milo is out of idea; but Bea doesn't want to give in just yet because she has connections see.
So we segue to the football stands as we see Shellsea and Bea with shades on as they exchange pleasure thoughts, notes and about seven variations of the word girl. Shellsea of course confuses it with her usual female stereotype doubts; so Bea has to restrain her to get her back on point considering the glue chair incident. Oscar and Milo hide behind Bea's skirt (oh boy; you are asking for trouble new Disney) as Shellsea gets it and has some information; but thanks to the audio, I don't know what she said. Something about the classroom or something. Bea thanks her and they drop below the stands as Clamantha and her second arrive. Shellsea no sells as Clamantha notices nothing and we discover that the pink octopi's name is Doppi; or Dopy. Whatever turns you on Clamantha as they decide to check the boy's bathroom. We head to the hallway as Albert Glass is reading a book and then he drops it because here comes Milo, Oscar and Bea smiling for goodness knows what reason. Oh; and they are near the boy's bathroom anyway. How convenient for Clamantha eh? Milo greets him and Albert bails into the boy's bathroom and into a stall as he sits on the toilet. Albert claims that he saw nothing and somehow I believe him since Milo got convicted by a teacher. Bea blows that off as Albert pops up and reminds Bea she's in the wrong bathroom. Hey; Bea might be transgender. Have you ever thought of that Albert Glass?! Milo then goes into a melodramtic routine that is so funny and you know it is when Bea is trying to blow Milo off for it. I think she's jealous that Milo does a better acting job then she does; so screw her and her soft core porn acting.
Albert is scared; but he decides to help them as Milo likes this. So Albert gets pushed back into Mr. Baldwin's classroom as we see Nurse Fishington trying to pull Mr. Baldwin from the chair; but no go. Albert goes over and snips a part of the sticky substance from the chair and floats outside. Yeah; he took a sample, but didn't uncut Mr. Baldwin from the chair. Interesting move there Albert. So Albert gives the sample to Milo and Milo wonders why it's a thunderbolt and Albert claims that he likes cutting it that way. Milo asks what this proves and Albert has zero clue; but he suggests seeing Jumbo Shrimp to use his smarts to identify the guilty party. Milo loves this and he starts dancing like Oscar on speed. Bea doesn't like this at all because Jumbo Shrimp is central control of the hall monitor and therefore they are screwed. Milo proclaims that they must take that risk because he cannot go to the mall to buy a police kit since he's not allowed there anymore. Let me guess; Bea projected herself into Milo in order for Barb to cut him out of the mall. Albert Glass waves goodbye and is in glee; and out of the boy's bathroom comes Clamantha and Dopy and she spits in Albert's face while Albert looks like a timid rabbit. No really; I am as SHOCKED as you are. So we head to the front of the hallway which the door to central hall monitor is guarded by two fat ass fish. Oscar asks what to do and Bea proclaims that they need to run interference again and Milo has a Krackpotkin plan to do that.
So we see Bea and Oscar skipping to their lou in the hallway as Oscar sweats and his smiling is downright UGLY! They sing a song about not being caught by the hall monitors as the two big ass fish float towards them. They get caught and Milo screams like crazy and enters the Central Hall Monitor room and slams the door behind him. Jumbo wants answers to this and Milo proclaims that a little birdie told him that he had a junior detective kit. Jumbo doesn't want to help him since he is a fugitive; but Milo shows him the thunderbolt sample and Jumbo realizes that it's Albert Glass and thus his cause is just. So he brings out the acid bath and pours the substance into the tank with the thunderbolt in it; and it shows nothing..AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Jumbo Shrimp doesn't know how to follow directions apparently as Milo panics because he'll be on the lam forever. Milo finds a red beard and wants to go into hiding. He asks for some glue as Jumbo searches his pouch and notices that his glue stick is gone and he left it in Mr. Baldwin's class....UH OH! Jumbo Shrimp finally catches himself and panics realizing that HE glued Mr. Baldwin to the chair...unintentionally I might add. Hey; it's better than Headphone Joe being the one who did it. So we see Clamantha and her bodyguard try to open the door; but no dice as the door slams down on everyone and Jumbo Shrimp gets chased out into the hallway by Milo as Oscar and Bea wonder what is going on. Milo screams that Jumbo Shrimp did it.
Milo and Bea chase after Jumbo Shrimp; but Oscar gets bounced down by Clamantha of course. Now come on; we all know she did it because she wants some kissy-kissy stuff. Leave the heavy lifting to the three bodyguards she has, it's not like she doesn't win the numbers game here. Clamantha bounces off and the chase is on as now the pink octopi's name is Chubby according to Oscar. See what happens when you have bad audio?! So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE GLUE STICK EDITION as we end up out of the school and to Fish Nigara Falls. Wait; did they actually FIX the bridge since Doris Flores Gorgeous?! We then notice Jumbo Shrimp on top of the falls shaking as Clamantha grabs onto Milo with her mouth and her posse and big ass lantern CGI fish arrive to open it's mouth. Milo screams for Jumbo Shrimp to be the better man and fess up that he did it. Jumbo Shrimp no sells at first as Milo screams that he doesn't want to go to detention and finally Jumbo Shrimp puts his hands up and surrenders to the fact that he glued Mr. Baldwin to the chair. He explains that he was gluing posters of his lost sandwich in Mr. Baldwin's classroom and then became charmed by the glue stick that he forgot some of it broke off and landed in Mr. Baldwin's chair. As I expected, he didn't do it on purpose. He didn't even know until it was too late and admits that he was guilty. Clamantha spits out Milo as Mr. Baldwin floats in and admits that he owes Milo an apology. Milo cheers for that one as Jumbo Shrimp drops down and wants to be taken away to detention; but Mr. Baldwin clears him of all charges. Jumbo Shrimp cheers...for about three seconds as Baldwin still finds him guilty of gluing posters in his classroom and Jumbo Shrimp sulks off. He should only be so lucky. Milo wants to shake hands on the deal and they agree to. I wouldn't do that if I were you Mr. Baldwin. Ah yes; the old Rhinokey joke electric eel buzzer. You have no one but yourself to blame for that one Mr. Baldwin. Milo then floats into the detention room and shuts it's mouth and that is that at 10:20 approx. Not as good as Frame Story; but it did have a more meaningful finish and it keep Jumbo Shrimp from looking like a heel. A few breaks in logic also dampen the proceedings. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
I don't have much to say about either shorts since they were middling episodes. Merry Fishmas, Milo was more of a victim of the past Christmas offerings on DTVA being at the top of the tiers and competing against them was simply a bad idea. I think the writers knew it and so we got a fun episode with Milo meeting Fish Santa and thus paying off the joke from Legend of The Earth Troll. Considering the other popular show on Nickelodeon not paying off their jokes that at all; consider this a gift. I would have liked it better if they didn't do a subplot involving Randy Pincherson and Barb being in the same episode to up the suckage value of the episode. Thankfully; they were only in two scenes and they were short enough to make it all right. My eyes did light up when they used a licensed song; methinks that will be overdubbed in future airings, unless Disney owns it of course. Milo On The Lam was basically a redo of Frame Story from Kick Buttowski; but with a few logic breaks and a silly chase scene that was pretty much useless since Jumbo Shrimp didn't intentionally glue Mr. Baldwin to the seat either. The non-verbal cue panic of JB gave that away easily. Otherwise; it was pretty much Milo being his smooth self; and they wrote Jumbo Shrimp at the end properly. Although I could live without a Rhinokey spot at the end. Then again; most kids don't know The Wuzzles existed so there you go.
So that pretty much ends Fish Hooks for a good long time since there is no known English version of Bea's Commercial and Hairanoid to be found at this time, nor Sixteen Clamandes either. So we end with four thumbs in the middle for season two. Oh well; that just means I can focus on Kick Buttowski in 2012 along with Ducktales and Darkwing Duck. So......
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time.