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Fish Hooks
So Fish-ticated/Busy Bea: Rise Of The Machines Rant
Reviewed: 06/16/2012
Broken Fins & Broken Promises To Not Suck.
Our next rant up for bids on the "New Disney Price Is Silly; But I've Seen Thousands Worse" is Milo trying to be a snob and Bea having to deal with Randy Pincherson. AGAIN! And Bea breaks her fin which I didn't see coming at all. So; let's rant on shall we...?
So Fish-ticated is written and storyboarded by Neil Graff. The story is done by the QUAD TRIO OF WASTEFULNESS. Busy Bea: Rise of the Machines is written and storyboarded by Ian Wusseluk; the story is done by the QUAD TRIO OF WASTEFULNESS. All episodes are done in Flash; with CGI animals in the background. Heh.
So Fish-ticated: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Neckties. Personally; I would have gone for the cheap shot and said: Snobby Accents.) as Bud is walking on a tightrope that is only two feet off the ground. He falls on his back as an orange car comes in with Snake and Mouse in it. Ummm; whatever. So we head to Freshwater Mall and to beside the escalator as Milo is ordering ice cream from the ice cream vendor. And he is ordering A LOT of ice cream from the vendor. Oscar has no idea what he wants and is wearing formal gear. Milo orders him a milkshake and slobbers his ice cream treat as we discover that Oscar is at the mall to pick out a tie for Angela. The correct tie very important see as Milo is messing himself up as usual. Oscar of course panics about picking the wrong tie at the Tie-dal Wave. Okay; this is a neat store name. Milo is here because he's going to pick out the tie for him because that is what best brothers do. And really; who can argue with that?! Bea floats in as Oscar claims that she gives good fashion advice and Milo claims that she doesn't because she's a girl. Oh lord Milo; you have learned nothing from Guy's Night Out. Milo is mad as Bea arrives to greet. When it comes to not saving her life; Bea cannot act. But at least she can make decisions Milo; you sexist ice cream twit! After all she decided to be friends with both of you. And it's hard to take Milo seriously trying to act assertive with ice cream all over him. I'm just saying. And yes; I'm ignoring the obvious logic break of ice cream sticking to Milo while being underwater. Bea wants to help Oscar get a tie; so Milo shuts up Bea with his fin. BS&P? What BS&P? Milo continues to be the sexist cruel fish I don't like becoming now and Bea calmly shrugs it off because she's a girl and she knows what works better. Ummm; Bea, this is ANGELA we are talking about here. I don't think she gives a damn about A tie; let alone the RIGHT tie. I'm just saying.
Milo proclaims that this is going to take forever and floats on in behind the DUO DEAD END ANGLE OF DOOM as we head inside the tie store; which is like any store in Freshwater: BOR-ING with classical music which I like thank you very much. The goofs with attitude look at the stack of ties as a pink salmon fish with a white shirt, brown shorts and a tie (of course) float in from the right. He welcomes everyone and then he looks kind of pissy at Milo as Bea gets all giddy about ties. Bea and Oscar are let in; but Milo is filthy. Milo has no clue whatsoever that he has ice cream all over him and Milo gets the WHACKER OF DOOM and gets pushed around for a while while pleading for mercy and Oscar is agreeing with him. Wait; you said that Bea makes good sound decisions; so why would you panic about the ties you are holding if Bea is there for you? They don't explain it of course as Milo gets whacked out of the store. Apparently Milo is very crude. Well; at least the storekeeper didn't stoop to calling Milo a crude matted ball of fur. Milo is upside down wondering how to get in to help Oscar with his tie issue; while we see Hugh Edmindston go into the store and out about ten seconds later as he and the storekeeper wave bye to each other. Milo goes over to Hugh and asks him about being Fish-ticated so to speak. Hugh is surprised (despite no selling the surprise at all) because Milo never talks to him at school. Milo wants to be like Hugh so he can help Oscar and Hugh calls this a noble cause; but is Milo prepared to leave his old self behind. Milo asks how he sezs yes in fancy talk and Hugh claims that it's indobaliy. And Milo cannot say it to save his life. What a surprise? I'm going to guess that the shopkeeper is Francis who is voiced by Brian George and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): George appeared as a United Nations secretary on Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. As he ages, George is increasingly cast in one-time guest roles as the father of a principal character; for example, as Julian Bashir's father in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Doctor Bashir, I Presume?," and on a recurring basis as Raj's father in The Big Bang Theory. In 2006 he landed a recurring role as Sasan's father Omid on the VH1 sitcom So NoTORIous. He had appeared on numerous other sitcoms including Seinfeld where he appeared in three episodes as Babu Bhatt, an immigrant who is deported to Pakistan because of Elaine Benes' failure to give Jerry Seinfeld his mail in time, which contained Babu's visa application and then returns in the Seinfeld series finale to testify that Jerry is a "bad man!...very very bad man! (wagging his finger)". He had a recurring role as newsman "Hugh Persons" on Doctor, Doctor during the series' second season. He made a one-time guest appearance in Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda in the first season as Wayist religious leader Vikram Singh Khalsa. This was developed by Robert Hewitt Wolfe who worked on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. He also appeared in One Tree Hill as Brooke's taxi driver when she went to launch her clothes in New York.
He has also done voiceover work in animated shows such as Batman: The Animated Series, Kim Possible, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Batman Beyond, Justice League (voicing Parasite in style similar to the late Brion James (the first voice actor of Parasite), as well as portraying Morgan Edge and President George W. Bush), M.A.S.K., Invader Zim, and Star Wars: The Clone Wars. He has also appeared in videogames like Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Baldur's Gate, Ultimate Spider-Man, Everquest II and Final Fantasy XIV. Early in his acting career, he was among the cast of 1985's The Care Bears Movie and made guest appearances in the Canadian television series The Edison Twins, The Littlest Hobo, Comedy Factory and King of Kensington. He also took over the voice of Bob Fish in the British-Canadian animated comedy series Bob and Margaret and The Inspector in the 1993 revival series of The Pink Panther. He also made a small guest appearance in the second season of The Mentalist, in episode 16, entitled 'Code Red', he played a professor working at the Northern California Technology Institute. His most recent appearances include the role of Mr. Pashmutt on Desperate Housewives (in the 2005 episode "You Could Drive a Person Crazy"), Ali on American Dad! (in the 2005 episode "Stan of Arabia") and Captain Barbossa in Kingdom Hearts II and Pirates of the Caribbean: The Legend of Jack Sparrow and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (video game). He also appeared on The 4400 in the third season episode "The Starzl Mutation". Also appeared in the Valentine's Day episode of Grey's Anatomy as a carrier waiter in love with another patient, but ends up dying of complications towards the end of the episode.
He also voiced Sahin the Falcon and Stuart Black in Age of Empires III and is also the voice of Fareed "Freddie" Abdul Salaam (a taxi driver and informant) in the game True Crime: New York City. He plays a short tempered convenience store owner in the 2001 movie Ghost World. He also plays the role of "Iqbal" in the 2006 movie Employee Of The Month. He played "Pushpop" an Indian Ice cream vendor in the 2001 movie Bubble Boy. He also played the culturally challenged (Sikh-Catholic-Muslim mix with Jewish in-laws) bartender who counseled the priest played by Ed Norton through a crisis of faith in the 2000 movie "Keeping the Faith." In the 2008 indie romantic comedy "Shades of Ray" he plays the overbearing Pakistani father to a half-Pakistani, half-Caucasian Zachary Levi in the midst of questioning his prior policy of only dating white women. He also was the foster father of Ricky in the television series The Secret Life of the American Teenager. In The Penguins of Madagascar, Brian guest stars as the zoo doctor in "Needle Point", "I Was a Penguin Zombie", "Operation: Cooties" and "Love Hurts". He also appeared on the Disney Channel show That's so Raven as Dr. Sleevemore, a "psychic doctor" who treats Raven's vision-related problems. He appeared in 2 episodes. In the Season 1 episode "Saving Psychic Raven", Raven starts attending his "Institute for Psychic Research", where she meets other teenage psychics. Raven decides not to go back to there at the end of the episode after an on-going feud between the psychics and Raven's friends. Dr. Sleevemore is neither seen nor mentioned again until the Season 3 episode "Vision Impossible". He also appeared on a Disney Channel show called Phineas and Ferb on the hour long special "Summer Belongs To You" as Uncle Sabu. He debuted in 1978 on The King of Kensington (which would be awesome if it wasn't for the fact that he was also in Amercia Dad and Stan Of Arabia. Shudder!). Believe it or not; Darkwing Duck is his DTVA debut as the talking guitar in A Revolution In Home Appliances (Yeah; that rant was done long before I started posting actor credits), and then it's Lloyd In Space as Station, Fillmore as Lendrum, Kim Possible as Duff Killagon, and Phineas & Ferb as Uncle Sabu (!!!). Diablo III is his most recent credit. He has over 209 credits to his resume. Might as well get that out of the way. If I'm wrong then he's probably Meneretta who is voiced by the same voice who does Koi Fish.
So we head to a fishtank filled with sunflowers (!!!) as we have the double bicycling spot with Hugh and Milo. We see someone swinging on a swing as we make it to Hugh's fancy house and both babyfaces get off the bike. Hugh proclaims that most people quit before they become fancy. Well; that shouldn't be a problem with Milo because he probably doesn't know the word quit. Although he does know the meaning of more words than Fanboy & Chum Chum put together. So we head inside and we get a really good view of the palace as it's as fancy as BS&P would allow. Milo calls it so classy and flaps his tongue out. So we make it to the fancy table as Hugh calls this the first training ground. Milo calls it a tea party as he floats into his chair. At least now Milo is cleaned up. So Hugh pours tea from the tea cup and proclaims that he'll make Milo fancy. Somehow I doubt it; but I have seen stranger things from Milo. Milo hopes to make this quick because Oscar is useless without him. Let me translate that: I need to be back before Oscar thinks I'm useless because Bea did a better job than me. Hugh agrees and we get some of those fancy rules of engagement which are so damn silly; that they are meaningless. You know; the problem with this is is that the storekeeper (Francis) called him filithy. And Milo is cleaned up already; so why not just forego the training and just walk into the tie place. I mean; Bea didn't act all fancy and she was allowed in. I just realize that and that means we are going to CDS this cartoon for the next five minutes or so just to do some plot device that makes Milo look even dumber than he already is. This better be funny writers; or else...
So Hugh proclaims that you should respect other fishes personal space (which is a good rule regardless of how fancy or crude you really are) and Milo takes it as the exact opposite smiling while sitting in Hugh's lap. So Milo gets slapped away by Hugh and states that this must change; as Milo goes to the vase and guzzles down the water like I guzzle down soda. He spits it out and covers himself with the table cloth like a druid. Hugh shows him a teacup and Milo slowly sips from it and he likes it. Hugh wipes the mess from Milo's face (despite not showing anything) with the cloth and apparently step one is completed. There is still much to learn though as we head back to the Tie-dal Wave as Bea is looking for more ties as both her and Oscar have their backs to us. Bea is still giddy, more so than Milo ever could be. Oscar wants the blue thunderbolt tie (the same symbol Kit wore for Stormy Weather. YAY!); but Bea wants the red tie (BOO! HISS!) instead. Both are indecisive. Oooookkkaaaayyyy; we DO need Milo's help after all. We see that the maybe pile is getting bigger than a garbage pile inside Oscar's house after Milo trashes the place and Oscar wants Milo's help. Bea no sells because she doesn't quit. She knows less meaning of words than Milo. Ponder that for a moment and despair. Bea goes into this long promo about creepy secrets and Oscar claims that they really need Milo now. Ummm yeah.
So we head outside of Hugh's house with lots of design hedges and it's time to play croquet; the fancy stereotype's version of a sport and fitness. Milo claims that fancy guys love hammers and Hugh calls it a mallet. Yes folks; this is an excuse to give Maxwell Atoms as much time as possible to do his bad French accent. And it brings the dignity scale of Escarmargot down a few notches since she has yet to have a focus episode on her. Oh; and we bring back Cookie Carptner Cousins as sadly; no game based on that name was ever made. Not even on smartphones. You know your cartoon is sad when the lamest possible game isn't giving Disney Interactive dollar signs. Maybe Warren Spector will make a mini game out of it in Epic Mickey 2...
Vinny: I have no faith; and I really don't care.
Yeah; Hugh shows Milo how to play one of the simplest games to understand regardless of how much of a snob you really are. And Milo has no clue as Hugh's accent short circuit his thought process. Geez; what a shock that was? So Hugh MURDERS Milo with the mallet right on top of the head and Milo completely no sells it. Okay; he does get his thought process; so he did sell it actually. So Milo whack the ball and it goes over the hoop, bounces off the orange cheese CACTUS JACK OF DOOM and goes through the swinging salmon woman's inflatable white British hair. I know this because it deflates right after the ball goes through it. Hugh nicely blows him off and taps his ball slowly through the hoop as a little kid steals the ball and praises it while his mother comes over and smiles. The kid is voiced by the same guy who voices Albert Glass by the way. Hugh and Milo smile at each other and then Milo taps his blue ball through the hoop and the boy is happy to pick it up. Hugh and Milo walk back to the house as Milo claims that he is getting the hang of this as we return to the store as Bea and Oscar are fishing through the pile of neckties panicking like crazy. So here comes Albert Glass asking about why they are picking out neckties. Albert is a tie enthuasist and Oscar tells him that he is just looking for one for a date. So Albert picks one with a bunny and Christmas lights on it. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That would be the perfect tie for Angela. Seriously it would. Sadly; we will never know since Angela never appears in this episode. Albert puts the tie down and float off to let Oscar think about it.
So Francis (I think) returns asking if he has found one and Oscar claims that he hasn't. So Francis proclaims that he shouldn't worry because there is more as he brings out the remote control which has the dreaded DTVA APPROVED RED BUTTON OF DOOM and pushes it as it reveals that there is a basement floor of ties with this store. Oscar screams in agony which I don't blame for because it's clear this episode is not working at all. So we head back to inside Hugh's house as the pink salmon British hair lady walks slowly down the staircase as Hugh is going to show him how to dance in a fancy matter. However; after the dance is over; Milo must do this himself. Ah; so show first and then Milo cannot blame you for not properly training him. Good call there Hugh. We do the French greeting and bow; then we twirl around and dance like in Cinderella's ball. Milo gasps in horror thinking this is hard; but then he gets all determined and stuff. Yeah; Milo does not know the meaning of the word quit. We discover that the girl's name is Meneretta (or Haireretta depending on what mood I was in doing this rant) as Milo greets her in English and bows. And then we shake ass and dance. HAHA! Are we really shocked that Milo would find a way to defy Hugh? Yes; we get song lyrics called "Doing My Thing" too in a symbolic moment too. Hugh floats in to break it up and calls this Milo's ultimate challenge and he can achieve true fanciness as Milo gets all giddy and floats over and does the dance properly this time complete with classical music. Milo is having some problems; but he does keep up as they dance towards the fountain and we get the final flourish as the fountain of fancy speaks. Seriously; that is what Hugh calls it.
The Fountain of Fancy makes it official as we get the sparkle spotlight of doom coming from the fountains' eyes and Milo is now fancy crude instead of merely being crude. So we white flash the screen as Hugh calls this breath taking. No kidding Hugh; and I'm, choking to death at this point. So we head back to the Tie-dal Wave as Bea and Oscar are still looking for tie; and apparently, Shellsea and Koi Fish have joined in. Oscar is in panic mode and sweating at this point as Shellsea decides on the no tie and use the chest hair as a tie. I like it...but sadly Oscar doesn't as he shows his chest hair. And you thought A-Train was hairy?! Bea shows off a pink clock tie; and Albert shows off a bow tie with bunny fur. HAHA! Koi Fish shows off fridge bow ties. HAHA! Bo Gregory (why doesn't he have a focus episode yet?) shows a cowboy hat tie while Steve Jackson tells him to focus on the hair as Francis comes to Oscar and wants to show the store room of ties and Oscar sweats and screams for Milo. And then we get the flourish which means we are going to the finish as Milo arrives in a fancy blimp in the damn mall and then the bottom opens to reveal a giant blue cremaic egg as it plops onto the floor and it opens halfway to reveal Milo dressed like Hairentta on a white haired purple seahorse. Oh lord; I am not going to dignify that with a response. Let's just say Milo walks in as Francis let him in and looks around as Oscar pleads for him to make it quick because he has 15 minutes left before the date. Milo is taking his sweet time and Oscar has had enough as he orders Koi fish to grab Milo and Milo is angry and upset of this barbaric stuff as he gets ripped, thrown into a fountain and ice cream splattered in his face. Milo then wakes up and still won't sell for Oscar so we get more ice cream and Oscar just pounds on him verbally until Milo sezs hot dog and is back to his normal self. The amazing thing is; if Koi Fish dumped him in the fountain from the start, Francis would have likely let him in anyway. So Oscar panics again on the tie and Milo walks into the Tie-dal Wave, Francis sneers at him, so Milo rips the tie (the green one with the golden O on it) and O is for Oscar and Oscar decides on that one. Hugh likes friends helping friends as Milo belches to end the episode at 10:30 approx. Wow; that was pretty bad for a Milo focused episode as well as being absolutely pointless since all Milo had to do was the ending and it would be done in three minutes flat. This episode was designed only to give Hugh face time and Maxwell Atoms some voice time. The whole fancy spots were fine and the tie decisions were cute, but there was little of anything else to like here. ** (40%). On the other hand; at least it's NOT the next episode to review...
Busy Bea: Rise Of The Machines: We begin with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Tex Mechs. Mexican Robots? Wow; THAT'S RACIST!) as Bud is kicking a water cooler which won't give him any water and then he flees stage left when it turns into a robot and chases him. HAHA! So we zoom in on Bea's room (perverts!) as Bea is in bed waking up. Oh lord; this is just writing itself now. And we get the Teddy Ruxpin song of doom barely 20 seconds in; a new record for this cartoon. Basically the spots all involve her being busy as a Bea (Get it?) and her trying to be awesome. It ends with Bea doing the stupidist thing possible: trying to lift the entire Freshwater High School Population and she gets crunched and when we go into the closeup; Bea is screaming as her fin is legit broken. BS&P? What BS&P? Yes; in the new Disney, you can break bones in your body. Her screaming is a million times better than her acting I should note. It's hard to gain sympathy for her when she does something even a man would break bones trying to do. It's so damn stupid. And this is even MORE dangerous than bringing your diary to school too. Milo basically sezs it all. HAHA! So we scene change to Bea showing off her broken arm (fin) as Nurse Fishington puts the whole thing in a cast as Bea complains like a baby while being in pain. Nurse Fishington shows her a blue plamplet showing how to deal with a broken fin and she complains about resting for three days. And kids are surprised when I say Bea is a really bad character? She's a shark and she would die if she stopped moving. Which of course leads to the obvious joke as we see a shark say it's true; stop moving and die all in a span of thirty seconds. Whatever. So we scene change to the hallway as she blows off Nurse Fishington. I blow off the writers for not giving us the Kirby's Epic Yarn closeup of her with flies. That's her BEST side if you know what I mean. Bea proclaims that her fin maybe broken; but she has got spirit. Sadly; we scene change to the basketball court as Salmon has to give her the bad news that she has been deactivated from the current roster until further notice. Yeah; Bea thinks she's Michael Jordan or something. And she get blown off by Zeus Mussels in the theater.
So we head into the hallway as Bea as she calls this a minor setback and she must continue to yodel to annoy me. And she starts the waterworks and cries like a sooky baby. She basically admits that no one cares about her anymore. Yup. She is now officially useless. She claims that she'll do anything to save herself and here comes the EVIL ONE himself. You know who he is. You know. At least Randy "I wish I had the panche like Kenny Powers" Pincherson is dressed up apporos now. Bea blows off Randy as Randy is dressed up to go to Steve Jackson's party for awesome kids. Oh great; what did Randy put in Steve Jackson's drink to come up with Randy being invited to this party. And Bea isn't invited of course so Bea whines. Randy was hiding behind a dumpster as apparently he stole Francis' remote control and it opens a segment of the wall in the hallway complete with smoke and fog to reveal a giant white robot which looks like a reject model from Spectrobes. Bea is oooing as Randy calls this the Pincherson 3000. It pinches without him even explaining it. Randy calls himself awesome for stealing the Spectrobes outfit and Bea is giddy. It's a robot space suit for Bea to become more awesome than ever before. Oh; you know there has to be a catch somewhere in all this. And even Bea notices this and Randy is as dishonest as a devil spawn complete with pyro effects. Umm; yeah there is NO catch at all; no siree. Randy claims that he'll do it for anymore and then proves to be a big fat devilish lair by blowing off a fish version of Tiny Tim from A Christmas Carol. Bea has a bad feeling about this and then we pan west to Coach Salmons talking to Fimberly about being part of the basketball team and Fimberly accepts Bea's old spot. Wait; Fimberly is ALREADY on the team as per in Mascotastrophe. That is a logic break and just plain cold on Salmons part. Bea is PISSED and decides to accept Randy's offer. Oh; can you smell the catch coming or do I have to spell it out for ye? Randy cuts his lame attempt at Kenny Powers...
...and we scene change to Milo and Oscar outside of Bea's house as they have flowers and a purple get well soon cake. Oscar warns Milo not to mention the broken fin because she might be depressed. Milo blows him off as they walk in and see Bea in the suit unicycling and flipping flapjacks in a frying pan and juggling red balls. I am NOT making this up. Naturally Milo screws Oscar in the head about the broken fin and she doesn't care now. The boys are so giddy that Milo thinks that this only happens when the broken fin fairy gives her a present after breaking a fin. You do have to remember that Milo does consider COREY F'N BAXTER a magical dude. Bea is now having fun with the suit which includes brushing the blond hair of an orange seahorse. Bea tries to explain how she got the suit; but her mind races because she got it from the suckiest, most dishonest character in the history of Disney not named Michael Eisner. So Bea claims that she rented it out and screams at Oscar to stop asking questions. Oscar then asks why. HAHA! Then the orange button in front of the suit beeps and Bea tells them that the suit is telling her to do something as we fly into the sky with the suit. So we head to Bud's Pet Store AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Bea returns to her bed and sits on it with the suit and yawns. She sleeps for about five seconds or so and then wakes up instantly and we get the Teddy Ruxpin song of doom and repeat the entire sequence from the beginning of the episode. Only with double the suit power. And yes; Fimberly gets whacked in the face with the basketball as per her contract. The ending involves Bea using the suit to do the Mario 64 Tail Spin of Doom on the killer cat of death to save Albert Glass and Jumbo Shrimp before flying away. Lovely. NOT!
So we head to Bea's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR as Bea is in bed and tells the suit good night. Bea goes to sleep and the alarm clock reads midnight and then suit just operates by itself and Bea is sleepwalking. Ooookkkkaaayyyy. She breaks down the glass tanks of her house and the goofy brothers house as Oscar and Milo wake up. Milo calls this fishy and smells himself and admits that it's just him. HAHA! See; this joke works because Milo is a fish and thus he pays off the joke. Fanboy & Chum Chum writers; please take some notes. Oscar seriously is worried about Bea (and it's not in the romance sense either) as we see Bea march into Le Pincherson and just open the door and walk in. We then scene change to Bea waking up as it's clear now that "the catch" is in full effect here. Randy's greasy Elvis hair makes it way too obvious as Bea thinks it's an awful dream date and Randy calls it awesome because it's real and not a dream. Bea tries to struggle; but no dice. As much as hell poison Randy Pincherson is; you got to admit, he's resourceful and Bea deserves this. I mean after Randy stole Milo's work on an invention, and then double crossed them in Halloween (before getting double crossed himself), you would think Bea would no longer go into dumb blonde mode with this. This is exactly what happens when you don't listen to your doctor or nurse in this case.
Randy throws up the remote and agrees to let Bea go if she returns the suit to him. Bea no sells because she needs the suit. Yes folks; Bea has become a robot addict. Randy then becomes generous because he'll give her the suit back as long as he goes on one date with Bea. Yeah; this sucks, but at least it's peversely entertaining me. Bea struggles and then decides to do one date just to end this nightmare. Yes; she cannot let go of the fact that she is a robot addict who needs help NOW! Seriously folks; remember that Randy Pincherson had a date with Bea when he stole the diary and after promising to go on a date, Randy double crosses her and decides to read the diary to the entire school?! Apparently; Bea doesn't because she has a broken fin and she's a dumbass. And yes folks; he proves me right and I'm not going to comment on his demands or a closeup of his face. Bea is in pain; but she still agrees to do it. Okay; I admit that if she said "I don't want the suit"; Randy would have just said no anyway, so whatever. And here comes the BEA LEGION OF STEREOTYPES! Randy is mad and he won't let anyone take his dream date; so he operates the suit and Bea is screwed as usual.
Oscar doesn't back off though and it's the FISH POWER RANGERS TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE OF DEATH. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT SPOT! I'll leave the point of this as an exercise to the viewer. Watch the damn episode on Disney Channel. This is AWESOME Randy Pincherson. Go screw yourself. Sadly; they are called the Power Force Patrol Squad (Fish Power Rangers is funnier and besides; doesn't Disney OWN the Power Rangers to begin with?) and Shellsea is Shellsea because she is disco and she doesn't do sci-fi. But she has NO PROBLEM being a walking female stereotype now doesn't she? Explosion occurs and it's still four on one regardless of Shellsea's involvement with the Gruffi pose. And then they do the robot call and they are the robot literally struggling to make it work. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This make up for all the suck in the last two episodes combined. (Kit: Screw you Gregory! I'm outta here! You can contracted New Disney Disease!) Ooooookkkkaaaayyyyy; someone has issues I see. So they fall into a pile and Randy laughs really well for being such a headscrew up. So the Fish Power Rangers Robot of Hilarious Doom get up and bring out the blazing sword of doom which is the now imfamous Golden Space Fork Of Death from Good Times At Pupu Good Times. You just knew that would be used as a finish at some point. Milo then MURDERS Oscar with the fork. I am sobbing with laughter seeing this the first time. So Randy does the stupidest thing ever by giving Bea the remote control so he can do this with both hands. Which is mocking the Fish Power Rangers robot and point. Oh; that is fighting words Randy Pincherson. I wish Kenny Powers could come to kick his ass one day, I really do.
Bea has the remote and she's robot crazy as seen with the fish doing the "We're not worthy" sequence in her CHILD CORRUPTING BALLOON OF DEATH. Shellsea floats in and calls her out on this. Bea wants to become awesome and Shellsea asks what the hell she is doing. Bea then whines and complains about being awesome and his friends not loving him without the suit. So Shellsea points out that they came to save her and thus don't give a damn about the suit; they care about her. Which shows you just how foolish they are; but god bless them, they don't stoop to my level of depravity. Bea realizes this and she looks at the remote and wonders where is the release button and pushes the red button of doom as Randy pleads for her not to press it because it's the self-destruct button. Now wait a minute! There is ONLY ONE BUTTON ON THE DAMN REMOTE! I just realized that now. It just had to be Bea ruining the finish for me. Good work Bea for making me want to strangle you. And yes; the tank explodes on cue and the water rushes out and Bud mops the floor. Whatever. So we head to Fish General Hospital (which makes the non-use of Fish Power Rangers even dumber now) as all the kids are in bed with countless injuries like Baloo after setting a time bomb in For A Fuel Dollars More. Bea takes this well as Randy is in the wheelchair (lucky devil indeed!) as he promises to build a bigger robot for Bea and everyone blows him off to end the episode at 10:50 approx. This episode was HORRIBLE minus one great sequence with the Fish Power Rangers; which Bea promptly ruins for everyone. Can we now write Bea out of the show please? It's not like Angela isn't over or anything. Call it * 1/2 (30%). And all that was the Fish Power Rangers Sequence. (Kit: Thank you Gregory for getting it right for a change.)
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; we end another short session of Fish Hooks with two under average shorts. So Fish-ticated was pointless due to the fact that they basically did an idiot plot in where the finish could have been done three minutes into the episode and all would be over. Instead we spend almost the entire episode justifying Hugh Edmindston's as a focal point of the episode. Now granted; Hugh is a pretty decent character, but all of his work was rendered pointless when Milo returned to the tie shop and Oscar basically whacked him for his own good in one of those moments where you just thought that this was just an attempt to be funny. And it was so unfunny; I was insulted. I did find the friends showing off their selection of ties to be funny. Francis was nothing and everyone else went through the motion. Milo is funny doing and being fancy; but Oscar ruined that for me. As for Busy Bea: Oh lord did this episode suck badly. This was approaching negative stars in terms of offending me because once again; they made Bea look like a dumbass, uncaring piece of crap throughout it. And it's a redo of Diary of a Lost Fish only Randy was crappier with the double cross that everyone saw coming just after Randy arrived in the devil's suit. The only thing saving this episode was the Fish Power Rangers sequence which was awesome and I did mark out for it; but Bea ruined it with the moral and the logic breaking remote control (one button for all functions. Really writers?). I have now officially given up on Bea and hopefully the writers will too now that Angela is doing an awesome job entertaining me.
So that ends Fish Hooks for now. I got six episodes done: two thumbs down, one thumb up, three thumbs in the middle. I should point out that Esgormargot IS coming to get her focus episode at some point; only it involves catching Oscar cheating on Angela. Seriously. Are they going to bury that relationship too? So the next rant is the Father's Day special: Goofy In Soccermania and then it's Darkwing Duck from here on. Yeah; think of Soccermania as a Ducktales/Goof Troop crossover before both shows existed. Kit: That's way too complex ace! Yeah; I know, but what can you do? So......
Thumbs down for both shorts and I'll see you all next time.