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Fish Hooks
Bea Dates Milo/Milo's Magical Shake Rant
Reviewed: 04/30/2013
Bea Kills Magical Shake!
Our next rant up for bids on the "New Disney Price Is Silly; But I've Seen Thousands Worse" is a big one as Milo loses Pamela Hamster for good and Bea kills her relationship with Oscar for good. At the time; everyone was up in arms over it because they simply didn't know Angela was coming. Sadly; their fears would be justified much later in Oscar Is A Playa. Oh; and Milo fetishizes a milk shake like Spongebob does with a Krabby Patty in the second one. Now, I'm not going to bother with tributes and such since the video is awfully blurry and hard to see; but I am going to get through this somehow. So; let's rant on shall we...?
Bea Dates Milo is written and storyboarded by Diana Lafyatis and the story is done by the QUAD TRIO OF WASTEFULNESS. Milo's Magical Shake is written and storyboarded by Derek Evanick and Diana Lafyatis. The story is done by the QUAD TRIO OF WASTEFULNESS. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.
Bea Dates Milo: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: It's too blurry to see; so I'm going to improvise and say that the sign sezs "Heart Burn".) as Bud is playing the accordian while two dogs play off Lady & The Tramp. So we head to Oscar/Milo's bedroom as Oscar is apparently blogging again. That's not a good sign for this episode as Milo bounces down the steps getting all excitedy so to speak. Oscar seems embarrassed as he is watching a CGI dog called Kiki-wawa who sounds like a new Disney female star with a seduced voice. Apparently; Milo hasn't seen the news report she did because the guise of this is that some pink male fish reported that Pamela Hamster (who has really let herself go in this one. Or the blurry footage is really bad. Either way; not pretty.) has dumped Milo and apparently Milo is a regular CGI with a white question mark. Milo seems to be taking this well because he felt the long distance thing was a bad idea. Milo sits on his bed as he cuts a promo on all this and Oscar asks if he is all right. Milo claims that he is....for three seconds...and then he sobs like a baby. HA! Oscar consoles him and this goes on forever which is peversely funny when you consider that Milo is the one bawling.....
Narrator: Six months later.... (with quacking sound which is funny. And yes; Milo continues to cry his eyes out. Well; Pamela IS a Fish Hollywood star, so it's tough to let go.)
Oscar wants to take a break as he is tired and Milo proclaims that is what Pamela said and cries some more. Okay Milo; this was amusing, but now it's getting sadistic like most "funny" jokes in Family Guy. So Oscar is giving up the fight and goes to his cellphone as we cut to Bea looking herself in the mirror and doing her really annoying "HEY" catchphrase that sounds like "YAY". "Hey" is for horses and Yay is stealing my gimmick! Her cellphone rings and Bea answers it as Oscar wants Bea to handle Milo because this crying is overflowing the tank! HAHA! Bea decides to help take Milo out for a cheer up dinner among other things; and Oscar is relieved. So we head to Oscar's house and the door bell rings and Oscar opens it to reveal Bea. Oscar is glad to see her because Milo is hanging on his fins. HAHA! Oscar takes Milo and plops him into Bea's arm like he's a baby despite Milo's protests and Bea walks off with him. The door slams shut and Oscar faceplants and snores. So we head to the Hokey Poke with Milo and Bea sitting at a table. Milo has at least stop crying as Bea does her pep talk of doom about how awesome Milo is (and he is in this show) and Bassy arrives asking for their orders. Milo proclaims that his tummy is still sad; so Bea orders two slices of pie and Bassy writes the order and floats off. Milo notices Bea is about to leave and whines; but Bea assures him that she's only going to the girl's washroom. Milo is all right with it as she floats off. Milo writes on the plate with the bottle of ketchup on the table; and we discover that Albert and Jumbo Shrimp are giggling under their breath and making funny faces. They sit down with Milo as Milo is confused. Albert points out that he and Bea are dating and Milo blows it off because they are friends and they are hanging out see. Albert claims that they can tell that Bea is dating despite the fact that Milo isn't. Oh; this is going to be fun to mock; even more so when ALBERT F'N GLASS is the "date detector". Yeah.
Milo claims that they are out of their minds and Albert disagrees because they know women. That's the one thing I hate about Albert Glass: the know it all sexism angle. Jumbo Shrimp is apparently drinking tea for no reason. Apparently; sharing food/germs, getting close to him and wearing makeup. Look; the funny faces are indeed funny; but these two are acting like the nephews from Ducktales only more obvious. Ponder that for a moment; and despair! Milo is amazed by this as Albert warns Milo that love is a dangerous game and you don't want to give the wrong impression. And Bea pops up asking what wrong impression. The two goof sexists giggle and float away from the table as Bea sits down and Milo is all miserable again. Bassy returns as she proclaims that they are out of pizza pie and only one is left. Bea proclaims that they have to share it. Milo at first seems fine; and then he is sounding like something is up here. Bea offers him the first bite; and then spills some liquid on the counter. Yeah; we have already gone through the problems with the logic of water; let's move on. Bea gets close to him as Milo pushes the pie back claiming that he's not hungry. Sure Milo; we all know it's not "the writers think Bea is a stereotypical woman" or anything. So Bea eats the pie and we get a closeup of Bea's pink lips as Milo notices that she's got different color lips and Bea blows it off because she is wearing lip gloss. Milo is shocked of this. Not because he buys into SHAMPOO WOO~! But he does buy into JUMBO GLASS WOO~! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So we get the stormy clouds jackhammer background as Milo does the most awesome frowny face in DTVA history.
That proves to be a segue as Milo is on top of Oscar on the sofa as Oscar is snoring and Milo is panicking. Milo claims that Bea loves him while frailing his arms. Milo deduces that Bea has feelings for Milo and she's hiding them as Milo shows the insides of a fish hidden in his belly. HAHA! That's a great sight gag actually. Milo doesn't want to date her because they are merely friends and then he shakes Oscar trying to wake him up. Oscar is groggy but he manages to tell him to be with Bea more. Milo proclaims that Oscar is right as he dumps him and proclaims that he'll work to never be heart broken again as he'll be at Bea's side and not hurt her feelings ever again. Yeap; they are going to kill Oscar/Bea with this; but this was a lot less horrible than Bea killing Angela/Oscar; so I have mellowed out since this episode anyway. So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH with Shellsea and Bea in the hallway at the lockers. I'm sorry if this rant is a little delayed and subdued; I finally got the Wii U set I wanted and I'm dying to set it up with the USB hard drive and other stuff sometime today or this weekend. Sometimes; Gregory Weagle just wants to have something something. Shellsea is blowing off Fimberly for text messaging about some ferret that no one gives a crap about because the writers have made her into...you guessed it. Milo floats in with flowers and offers her them. Bea takes them and is so happy proclaiming that he didn't have to do it; but she likes it anyway. So Milo's face goes all "I'm seriously (insert swear word here)" and he floats off stage left. Bea waves to him and then Shellsea grabs Bea's fin and they are rushed into the girl's bathroom as Shellsea demands answers to this outrage. Apparently; Shellsea takes it as if Bea has the hots on Milo and Bea blows it off because she was trying to cheer Milo up. Sadly; Pamela Hamster was not mentioned here as Shellsea points out that Milo wants something in return with the flowers..a relationship.
Okay; the problem with this is, Milo and Bea already have a relationship AS FRIENDS. Shellsea could have said that Milo wants more than a friends relationship now and that would be convincing. This merely is dumbing down for the sake of dumbing down here as Bea wants to leave to put a stop to this before it gets out of hand; but Shellsea blows that off because if Milo had a breakup with someone else beforehand; then what would happen if Milo hears this break up. Bea realizes that Milo would be a wreck if she told him how she felt. Shellsea does the wink background of doom and wants Bea to use her charm and good look for something other than...in bed. Bea decides that she will pretend to like him for a while. Yeah; because that is how true love works doesn't it? This is going to be brutal; I just know it. Milo will wish he saw a flushed toilet in his future with him in it; just to show up Oscar. Bea calls Shellsea a genius and Shellsea claims that she knows and does the DISCO JACKHAMMER BACKGROUND OF AWESOMENESS for fun. So we get the Teddy Ruxpin Song Of Doom and HIT THE MONTAGE~! Bea and Milo hold hands on the bus, at school, at home, in the lunch room, in the hallway, at the movies, on the dance floor. Linse, lather, repeat. All complete with WUZZLE SCENE CHANGERS OF DOOM. Yeah; whatever. We get a cameo of Razor V. Doom as Koi and Fimberly gets all mushy on us. Yawn. Bo Gregory is talking to Steve Jackson! Hmmmm...NAAAAHHHHH! So we head to the hallway as Milo goes to Bea's locker and it's unlocked for goodness knows what reason. You would think that Bea would have learned something after Diary Of A Lost Fish; but she hasn't. Milo puts something in the locker, slams the door and floats off stage right. Bea arrives and opens the locker to find a box of chocolate, the symbol of life and happiness, in the world of a sexist mind.
So we head to the living room as Milo is lying on Oscar who is still sleeping face down on the sofa as he wants this mayhem to stop right now and he bounces on Oscar's back for fun. So Milo uses his cell phone to text message a wanting a baby cake to Bea as we cut to Bea's room as she is looking in the mirror and notices the text message. Bea is not amused by this as this is getting too weird. Shellsea is on the floor reading a magazine as she finally suggests that it's time to stop this nonsense. Well; the joke is pretty much dead as a doornail now and it is time to mercy kill it. Bea texts Milo back with a missing you promo. Milo takes it as if his good looks have charmed her and wonders how to stop this as we get the split screen with both Bea and Milo pondering...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... So they both agree to make themselves so unattractive and gross that they'll stop being more than just friends. Milo waves his arms for fun. This is a dumb idea; but cute either way considering the principals involved in this. So we head to the Hokey Poke as Bassy floats in the foreground while Bea and Milo do gross out spots for my amusement. Sadly; Bea's lack of class gig needs a lot of work; snorting is NOT going to make you sound like a low class bum. I'm just saying Bea. Milo does this stuff all the time; so this is a normal Saturday night for him. Bea drinks from Milo's glass after almost vomitting on cue. Milo is still completely out classing Bea in the lack of class as he scratches his stinky fins with a fork. Despite the gross out jokes; remember that everything they are doing is to stop the relationship; and being gross is their tactic; so the spots actually make sense. Childish; yes. Nonsense, absolutely not! Bea finally eats like a pig as this is getting too cute for it's own good and both pant on cue since this is clearly not working out all that well. So they talk to themselves as Bea decides that despite not wanting to; she is going to fart in Milo's face! Okay; that would be great, but it would turn Bea heel. However; she doesn't get the chance since Koi Fish and Fimberly come in.
Now this makes perfect sense because they were the ones who noticed the hands holding and got giddy over it. I guess they were waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Fimberly has a camera as we discover that Fimberly and Koi Fish are reporters and photographers for the Freshwater High School Newspaper. Can you imagine Koi Fish writing the articles in this one? She would do a "Name My Grunt Sentence" puzzle and only the kids in this group would understand. It's so obvious. Bea and Milo catch themselves and clean up as Fimberly wants a picture for the newspaper; but Fimberly wants to capture them on camera kissing each other on the lips. Milo and Bea look shocked and are about to be appalled. Milo decides that getting it over with is better than telling the truth (in this case; it is actually, and then tell the truth afterwards; which we all know is the finish, so...) and both Bea and Milo pucker up for some kissy-kissy time. This is all down in SLLLLLLOOOOOOWWWWWWW motion; despite the fact that we are running at normal speed here. This is so funny; even Fimberly has to lower the camera and look not amused. Oh sod off Fimberly! This is great; let them do it their way. Wastes time a lot better than most time wasters I see in cartoons. So Fimberly calls on Koi Fish and Koi comes in and splashes their faces into each other and we flash. F*** you Fimberly; their way was much better and you ruined it! No wonder people don't like you. Milo and Bea cough and wheeze at each other and finally both fish admit that they don't like each other in a kissy-kissy type way to each other. Exactly as I thought it would go; and it's perfectly fine, Koi slamming faces into each other notwithstanding. So they talk about how weird this whole thing is and they hug like friends. They separate and Milo blows off Bea's kissing skills. HAHA! Bea is not amused by this at all. However; nothing happens to Milo which is fine by me.
So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as the goofs with attitude exchange notes as Oscar has fully recovered from his tired selling. Oscar asks if anything happened while he was away and the two just look at each other. Oscar goes to the news stand rack and looks a the front page and sees the picture of Bea and Milo kissing each other (the picture Fimberly took by the way). UH OH! Oscar screams and then faints dead away as Milo and Bea just look at each other and shrug. Yes folks; this is the subtle way of saying that the Oscar/Bea relationship is officially over. I remember the fans of this show just melted down on cue at the time. As much as this renders much of the show a lame duck, Bea/Milo was more interesting than Bea/Oscar anyway. Plus; Angela/Oscar's relationship was much better and Bea completely ruined that one, so I was more offended at the end of Oscar Is A Playa then I was here. Hindsight 20/20 and all that. This ends the episode at 10:40 approx. This was good for what it was; but it was a real death knell to the series as the writers blew their load on Oscar and Bea completely and no amount of subtleness was going to change that fact. Think Fanboy & Chum Chum episode that makes sense and the grossout jokes mean something. *** 1/4 (65%).
Milo's Magical Shake: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: This video is even worse than the previous one; so I'll make this one: Whipped Cream) as Bud sees a pink UFO type object cricling around and just stands there. The object flies out of the petstore as Bud just stands there and we head to the Hokey Poke as Bea is sitting at the table with Oscar. Bea asks where Milo is because he is running a bit late today. Oscar doesn't know where he is other than he has something neat to show them. And in comes Milo holding a gold plated boom box over his head and we get singing from some new Disney band no one gives a crap about. I mean; I can understand Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers at this point because they at least have a fanbase. However; not this one. It's "no,no,no" and sorry; but Team Hell No is a million times funnier and better than this song. Milo's butt bouncing was more amusing as we finish the song and Oscar throws the boom box away stage left. Bea asks Milo what is going on here and Milo proclaims that this is a special Milo Moment because Chief has had this special for ten years that if you buy 999 milkshakes; you get the 1000th one free of charge; as shown on the sign above the counter. Bea and Oscar are confused so Milo calls on Chief calling him Gar-son. HAHA! Chief calls Milo a punk and is cranky as usual. Milo informs him that he has drank 999 milkshakes and shows him his milkshake hole card; and Chief calls this impossible. Milo of course proves that Milo Moments are not impossible as Chief goes to his piece of paper and reads from it like a computer spam bot. Bassy breaks the glass which holds a box containing the milkshake and we get the worst played music ever. It sounds like a bad Youtube video. Oh wait... We then see a spike egg bomb with wings being reeled out as it drops the milkshake in front of Milo and then reels more until it makes it to some area. I'm guessing that it's Chief's kitchen because there is an explosion effect right on cue when it makes contact. Weak. Chief tells Milo to enjoy it while it lasts because that's the only thing good about this. Milo takes it well as he proclaims that he is going to save it for as long as he can to savor the flavor.
Oscar and Bea tell Milo to drink up now because he earned that shake and Milo blows them off for not understanding what he meant when he said "save it for as long as he can". Bea and Oscar claim that this is just a milkshake which Milo counters that it's more than just that. Yes folks; this is Spongebob plotting and we are going to be doing six minutes of sight gags with the milkshake and Milo's fetish. It's a F'N MILKSHAKE! I have nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING to work with here. Milo proclaims that he is going to spend quality time with the milkshake as he pets it. This is no more offensive than Baloo treating the Sea Duck like a human being; but a lot less useful than the Sea Duck. So we scene change and HIT THE MONTAGE~! Teddy Ruxpin song of doom ensues and we have moments with Milo and the milkshake. He apparently got the rights to Eddie's car too. Kool Aid Man of Doom is singing too! So we make it to Burger Bunny as the posse of teens in cars meet and everyone is amused by Milo's milkshake; and the milkshake drops some cream on the car and melts a bit. Milo panics and we head to the living room with Oscar playing Cookie Carpetener Cousins again. Sadly; Wii U was a year away; so he's not playing with a DS-like controller. Yet. Milo flings the door open and looks panicky because his milkshake is melting. Oscar proclaims that this is life and you have to drink it sometime. Milo is screaming like mad and calls the milkshake a "she". Because you see; a "he" would indicate that Milo is gay and we cannot hurt the feelings of the 700 Club. I mean; projection is a hurtful tool; both ways. Oscar: PUT THE MILKSHAKE IN THE FREEZER! Problem solved! And that's exactly what Oscar does. Milo is infantible at this point as Oscar explains that despite it being cold and dark in there; milkshakes love this kind of attention. Milo ponders over this and we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as the bell rings. I think we all know where this is going now don't we...?!
So we head into the hallway as we see Milo with the milkshake in an ice pack like device hanging around his neck. I know ths because he's talking to the milkshake while giving the grand tour of the school. He introduces the milkshake to Mr. Baldwin's classroom and ignores Clamantha in introduction. Wow; Clamantha got off real easy this time around. Bea is surprised at Milo bringing the milkshake to school as Milo explains how he keeps the milkshake cold as he is now calling the milkshake Emily. Oooooookkkkkaaaaayyyyyy. It's not really much different than calling your plane the Sea Duck, but still less useful than a plane, so whatever Milo. Mr. Baldwin orders everyone to take their seats and Milo goes to him and introduces Mr. Baldwin to Emily. Might as well play along; we're almost halfway through this final blurry episode. Baldwin tries to get a word in edge wise; but Milo mentions Mr. Baldwin's baby inside and I'm still wondering when he is going to give birth to said baby. I have heard that there is a Mr. Baldwin/Miss Lips episode in the future; so we'll see where that one goes in season three since season two is going to end later in May. Milo touches Baldwin with the milkshake and Baldwin does more emoting and selling than anytime in this series. When Mr. Baldwin does a better job at selling than Kick Buttowski; you can bet Kick deserved it's cancellation. So we scene change to the stage as Steve Jackson is playing Sleeping Beauty on the prop bed while Bea is the brave princess of doom and Escarmargot is the fairy godmother in this one. I would have had Randy Pincherson play this role; just to see if Bea can get through the script without ringing Randy's neck (if he had one). So we go through the motion and Bea is about to kiss a sleeping Steve Jackson, when Milo shows up screaming. He want Bea to watch Emily because he needs the bathroom and slams the ice pack on Bea and floats out. Zeus Mussels yells. Bea goes over and tries the kiss of doom again; but the milkshake touches Steve Jackson and wakes him up. HAHA! Bea has been denied again. I like it. DISCO~! POW! OUCH! Ummmmmm...
So we head outside of a movie theatre or video game store. I cannot tell since everything is so blurry. Oh wait; it's a video game store. I know this because Oscar is making hand signals that have him playing a controller. It's for some Call of Duty clone I guess as he, Albert and Jumbo Shrimp exchange notes on the game. Apparently; everything is off the chain with this game. Yawn. I'll play my Zen Pinball 2 on Wii U; thank you. So the blue store clerk come out and opens the doors. Everyone rushes inside; but the blue fish blocks the way for Oscar and Milo. According to the blue fish clerk, no inside food or drink can be brought into the store. Wait; so "INSIDE" food or drink is perfectly fine? That makes no sense. Milo is deeply offended by this. Not because this is a silly rule; but because he reduced Emily to being a milkshake. Most members of Mr. Hardcore are often sexist twits; so this I expected. I do have some sympathy for Milo; if only because this blue fish is a sexist twit. Look; just because Emily is a milkshake; does not mean you have the right to treat it like a piece of meat...or milkshake in this case. Oscar asks Milo to wait outside and he'll be back with the game, but Milo blows him off because this is indiscrimation. Tell me he didn't just say that! Blue fish clerk points out that this is store policy; and Milo grabs Oscar and storms out because he will not be patronizing this place ever again. HAHA! Milo has succeeded in being the only one in history who is both enlightened and an idiot. Ponder that one for a moment. So we head back to the hallways of the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as Oscar is angry about Milo denying him his video game; which Bea blows off because she was denied kissing Steve Jackson. Sadly; I have to sympathize with Bea here. Oscar will get his video game some other time; since most of them are often returned when the player discovers that the game actually sucks and didn't deliever anything that was promised. Fimberly drags Shellsea in and I'm guessing that the ice cream combined with glue and stuck those two together. Shellsea lies there proclaiming that this is the low point for everyone involved. I love real comments that aren't supposed tobe real comments.
Oscar has had it with this nonsense and proclaims that this situation needs to be stopped at all costs. So we scene change to Milo being motioned into a dark classroom blindfolded. Milo thinks he's going to do some boo-boo something. However; when he comes in, the door closes and the blindfold is off. Milo looks around and now he's PISSED. Now at this point; this was a stupid plot which was made up for by Milo's ability to carry episodes. However; we finally realize where this is going and it sucks. Oh lord; it sucks. I hope to have a link on Ed Brayton's thoughts on Alcoholics Anomyonus soon if I can find it because he explained this a lot better than I ever could. So we see Miss Lips, Jocktopus, Escarmargot among other sitting in a circle in chairs. We then pan over to Bea who is in front of Jocktopus as Bea proclaims that they are not mad at him. What a lie?! Of course you are mad Bea; only you would think that Steve Jackson and Brandon Bubbler is hot. Granted; Steve Jackson is awesome, but he's a dumb blonde male. He's not that into you or your soft core prono acting either. Shellsea is here too as Miss Lips' head is flopping from side to side as she wants Milo to tell us about Emily. Miss Lips remembers a spatula named Brandon and someone gave it away and called Miss Lips bad. Bea stammers with that smile that reads that this is not going to end well for everyone involved. Jumbo has a script which Albert points out is a draft for a science fiction novel which causes Bea to yell to move right along. Shellsea for her credit; is honest about what she thinks of Milo as Bea is panicky. Jocktopus hates the chair; and Jumbo Shrimp calls them out for hating himself. Jocktopus gets pissed off and goes on a rampage in the stands as everyone flees. Yeap; just as I expected. BAD!! Bea finally yells that the shake is ruining everyone's life. Oscar demands Milo to drink the shake now; and Milo is really horrified about all this because Emily is his girlfriend. Bea claims that this is in Milo's best interest; but Milo blows them off and proclaims that he's going to the Pupu Goodtimes fair (Ah; now I know what he is talking about) with Emily and basically tells them to kiss his ass and storms off in a huff. Ed Brayton would certainly approve of this. I think.
Anyhow; we fade to black and then head to Pupu Goodtimes for the second time in this series as Milo walks in with Emily and calls the kids savages for wanting him to drink him. Yeah; because killing food monsters and slurping them is Kyle's gimmick. Milo proclaims that this is all about them now and it's time to have the time of their lives. So yeah; we ride the rollar coaster again for fun. And Emily splatters into his face on the way down as we have more fun on the Shell-A-Whirl and then the Fish Fun House as Milo and Emily bounce around for fun. Well; Milo is getting a lot of mileage out of this plotline, despite the stupidity of this. Wonder if Fanboy or Chum Chum did this? I know Spongebob did with a Krabby Patty. Milo has milkshake dripping all over him as he sits on a bench and decides to write an angry letter to Mr. Pupu for not making milkshake friendly rides. And the bench apparently is a rocket as Milo is pushed up and he bumps like a maniac. I betcha Fimberly is enjoying every single minute of this Milo Moment; and I do mean EVERY minute of this. So Milo staggers like a drunk filled with white cream on his body as one of the kids is giddy to see a white gooey monster; so her mother takes a picture and flashes Milo which causes Milo pain and he backs up and bump into the tree which contains a bee's nest. So Milo panics and he runs for his life; but trips and bumps into several game booths including the one where Oscar and company won the golden fork of doom from Goodtimes Pupu, Goodtimes. He bounces down the hill destroying everything in it's path as Fimberly is shrieking with glee somewhere in Freshwater. I know no one know if she really is; but trust me, she is. So in the end Milo has hundreds of prizes stuck to him and is on bottom as the milkshake glass pops from the carnage and does a perfect landing on it's front end. Milo pleads for help; but the milkshake glass no sells everything. It's a milkshake, you are surprised Milo? Milkshakes are lazy and fat, regardless of gender. That's just a fact.
Milo started crying about losing Emily and wishes Bea and Oscar were here to help him; and here comes Bea and Oscar to pop him from the carnage as Bea points out that they are always there for him because I think they realized that the milkshake wasn't really ruining them; but their own selfish ends. I mean; at least Milo love for the milkshake was geninue even if the milkshake wasn't exactly human. So Milo finally decides to slurp the milkshake; but it's completely empty (and Milo is almost cleaned off) and he's not happy; but he discovered that he can get a 100th Chiggy Chunga for free from the Hokey Poke. I didn't know Kick Buttowski had a root beer named after him; and now I wish he didn't. Milo wants to call it Besty and we circle fade out to end the episode at 10:40 approx. Dumb; but cute. Milo's carries another otherwise stupid episode to a decent rating. But it's really stupid. ** 3/4 (55%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Both shorts were pretty much fine to good. Bea Dates Milo was more historic than great in the sense that the writers with the subtle finish have basically killed off the Bea/Oscar relationship. That moment was bad in a way; but considering how much the writers slaughtered the Angela/Oscar relationship which was a much better relationship for Oscar anyway; the anger bloom is off the rose. Most of this was Milo and Bea one upping each other in the "We're more than friends; but we have gone too far" department; but none of it stands out. Basically; it was a Fanboy & Chum Chum episode with a Pick A Nose climax if that climax made perfect sense and meant something. Milo's Magical Milkshake was fine, AA reference stupidity aside. It was alright; it was perfectly alright. It was just stupid; which is Milo's specialty and he made it work for me as a whole. The finish was great though with the returns of Goodtimes Pupu coming back. I know that Spongebob did the same thing with a Krabby Patty; but the premise was just as stupid and charming as this and I prefer Milo over Spongebob because Milo is a lot less annoying and slightly more charming and naive. Okay. So; not really much to see here. Which is fitting considering how blurry both episodes were. So that is pretty much it for ranting until Fish Prom comes along. I do have a reversed episode of Brad's Car for Kick Buttowski; but I'll wait until Fish Prom comes out first to do it. I already did the first five minutes of Fish Prom in case I didn't mention it earlier. I also have the first eight minutes of Principal Bea now. Hopefully; the complete versions do come out so I can start those in early June. Maybe sooner for Fish Prom since the prep work is already done. In any case; Father's Day weekend is Teddy Ruxpin weekend and hopefully, I can do an honest review of the ending arc of the show where Teddy finds his dad. I do have some things to say about Teddy Ruxpin; the television character and for now; let me say that he's better in the television show than he is in the books, and I'll leave it at all. Then it's Gargoyles and Fall Assortment (Mighty Ducks pilot and finale; Recess movie, Phineas & Ferb and A Goof Troop Christmas) to wrap up 2013. After that; I don't know. So......
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you next time with hopefully Fish Prom and maybe Principal Bea.