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Fish Hooks
South Pafishic/Unresolved Fishues Rant
Reviewed: 10/26/2013
These Fishues Should Never Happen In A Happy World Like Disney!
So next up on the "Lame Chicken" edition of Fish Hooks; we have Bea trying to do another stupid drama play; but the club is out of money and Fishington hates drama or something. And then from there we see Angela and Jumbo Shrimp having their eyes for each other; but Oscar cannot let go of the fact that the writers made him destined to be the man for Bea. Yeah; it's a lame duck season to be sure. So; let's rant on shall we...?
South Pafishic is written and storyboarded by Dominic Bisignano. The story is done by the directors, the writer, Maxwell Atoms, Noah Z. Jones, Craig Lewis and Darrick Bachman. Dominic Bisignano has been doing various stuff like composing Los Wild Ones, Bite Of The Tail, Mandoria and From Burger It Came. He also did sound for I Live In The Woods and The Boy Princess: A Tragedie Most Monsterous. He also did composing for Mandorla. Animation credits include: Dude, What Would Happen, Astro Boy movie, Jean-Michel Basquiat: The Radiant Child and Geronimo & The Three MIkes. He was also a Body in Kanizsa Hill. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut and only appearance. That's it. Unresolved Fishues is written and storyboarded by Ian Wusseluk. The story is done by Maxwell Atoms, Noah Z. Jones, William Reiss, CH Greenblatt, Craig Lewis and Darrick Bachman. The direction is done by Derek Evanick and Diana Lafyatis. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.
Unresolves Fishuses: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Movie Nights) as Bud is showing a disc and insterting it into the DVD player in front of the CGI animals. The television goes fuzzy and we zoom in to see Milo pumping iron with his ass. 20 pounds of weight on his ass. Okay; I laughed at that. Oscar brings in the cupcakes on a platter and doesn't want to know what he is doing. Milo claims that he's pumping iron on his ass for sitting on movie night; thus showing better exercise skills than me. We see Albert Glass, Bo Gregory (wearing 3D glasses which makes no sense to me since Albert is supposed to be the tech dork of this outfit) and Escarmargot on the sofa watching television. Oscar is waiting for Jumbo Shrimp to get the movies from the rental place as the doorbell rings and Oscar answers the door. It's Jumbo Shrimp stammering because as you will recall at the end of Fish Prom; Jumbo Shrimp and Angela were teasing at having eyes for each other. So Jumbo Shrimp asks if it's okay to date Angela as Oscar gets a B&W flashback of Oscar screwing up saying Bea and Angela leaving. Thnakfully; they didn't show Angela crying like a baby on the way out. Oscar doesn't seem to mind and Jumbo Shrimp actually shows Angela at the front door; and Oscar does the second best screaming ever next to Albert Glass while dropping the cupcake platter. HAHA! Angela simply looks at Oscar and then ignores him and does greetings to the sofa sitters. She hugs Albert and Escarmargot who are literally sticking together because Escarmargot has a lot of slime to give. Angela gets her face rearranged gently by Bo Gregory; and then she hugs Milo. When she sees Oscar; Oscar tries to extend the olive branch, but Angela blows him off and floats off. Okay; I can accept that. She continues to frown and almost gets to Milo levels of funny frownness. Oscar asks about the movies and Jumbo Shrimp brings them out; and these are hand picked by Angela herself. Her favorite movies are: Hex On An Ex, Angry Diary Of An Ex Boyfriend; and her personal favorite: Die Oscar! Die! I didn't know Angela love German movies! AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oscar is stammering of course because apparently; Angela has a criminal grunge against Oscar and wants to kill him for breaking his heart. So we go to the footage as we see trout Oscar and trout Angela (Scott Bullock and Candi Milo in that order) doing what biopic movies know best: Stretch the truth so much that it's a lie; but no one cares because, it's all about the MON-EY! And yes; the scene is a school promo; but it's of course completely inaccurate. Yeah; Trout Oscar dumps Trout Angela outright as Trout Angela is horrified. Angela proclaims that this movie speaks to her as Milo dumps popcorn and calls Trout Oscar a monster for dumping his girlfriend at the promo. We pan over to Oscar sitting in a chair; stammering that he was certain that he had his reasons. And the next scene is a shower scene in which Trout Oscar is taking a shower; and the shower curtain opens to reveal Trout Angela with a loofa brush and she beats Trout Oscar on the back yelling for him to die. Trout Oscar's selling of it is so geeky that it has to be a rib of some kind. This is the most hilarious horror movie ever! No, not at all; it's just there. Angela is so happy that seeing the nerd getting beat up despite the fact that she is wearing a shirt that reads: I Heart Nerds! That made me laugh. Oscar just looks stunned and confused as we see Trout Angela dumping Trout Oscar literally into an open grave and I presumed that he's dead in storyline. Trout Angela dumps dirt on Trout Oscar and we do the flash of light and cut to Angela proclaiming that this Oscar got exactly what he deserved. HAHA! Oscar is just looking at her with a blank stare. So we flash scene change to everyone except Angela and Jumbo Shrimp leaving the house and waving goodbye. Angela hugs Milo; and Oscar tries to extend the olive branch again; but Angela blows him off and leaves. Oscar finally gets it that she personally hates his guts. Milo then gets overdramatics because she is a woman scorned and then we get probably the best Kirby's Epic Yarn moment ever as Milo slowly yells that she has UNRESOLVED FISHUES~! Yeah; Milo moments are pretty funny. Except when Randy is stealing them; or Bea is being an ass.
Oscar feels awkward because he felt that the end of the relationship didn't go well; but Oscar still wants to talk to her and clear the air on these issues that are...UNRESOLVED FISHUES~! So Milo tells him that it's Nerd Poetry Night at the Hokey Poke; and Jumbo Shrimp is usually the one performing there. Oscar waves his arms with glee and we head to the Hokey Poke and we zoom in to see Jumbo Shrimp in the front of the Hokey Poke with Angela and Hugh Edminston wearing noble gear; while Jumbo Shrimp is in his suit of golden armor and showing off an easel containing a picture of Angela. Who gains wings and a halo which is a bad sign for her right off the bat. It's in his world of Fishquest as we discover that Hugh is banging on drums and not exactly being thrilled about it either. Then we do the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as we recite the most awarkedly hilarious poem I have heard this side of bad poetry as Angela is his elf queen; where she literally uses the Falcon's Arrow and Bow. Apparently; his love for her exceeds by level 60 plus. What; not level 99+?! Jumbo Shrimp does not really love you Angela! It has to be 99+ to make it work right! So then he whispers that this was the maxinum level before the expansion pack which causes Angela to sigh in a fit of love while she sits at the table alone. Jumbo Shrimp proclaims that if anyone is shady enough to lay a hand on his love; he will kill them as he shows his steel blue sword of death and kills the easel in half. The crowd pop by clicking their mices on the table as we see a human arm and hand forcing the point home. Jumbo joins Angela and she loves it. So they hold hands and teases kissing each other on the lips as Oscar is at the table with Milo and wants to float in and talk to her. Milo stops him and asks what he is going to us; which Oscar actually talks clearly and precisely about his feelings. Milo and Oscar trade "this cannot go wrong" comments and sadly for Oscar; the spotlight is on him, and he's about five or six feet away from Angela. Angela is not happy and giving Oscar eye contact violence. Oscar then stammers like an idiot as Jumbo is surprised that Oscar is performing tonight. HA!
Oscar claims that he's not and then speaks at a 100 miles per hour because he has something to say. Hugh comes over and asks about saying something while speaking some French. Oscar claims that this is true; so Hugh shoves him towards the stage; and Oscar faceplants just before he reaches it. The spotlight is on the stage with a microphone. So Oscar is sweating and his thoughts tell him to tell Angela how he feels right now instead of up close. So Oscar gets on the mike and proclaims that this is a special message for Angela; which Angela is confused by this; and ribbed by Jumbo Shrimp, in that order. Oscar calls this a poem about closure and he clears his throat and sounds like a chain smoker doing it. And of course he does the oldest poem in the damn book. You all know which one. And I betcha he gets booed out of the building for it too. I check the video...See; this is a poem about the reasons why he broke up with her. Angela is not happy to hear this at all as Oscar has a sheet of paper and lists his reasons. Reason #1: She plays videogames literally all the time. That's a lie because she's right here watching you lie like that. And we saw her watching movies with you and your friends at the beginning of the episode! Reason #2: He has allergies and she's always covered in dog hair which makes her embarrassed and the background crowd is laughing at her expense. Sexist twits! There' no dog hair on her; unless he's implying that her hair is MADE of dog fur; which is so stupid. And reason #3: She sounds like a goat on the telephone. Those are his only three reasons as seen on the sheet of paper. Even Jumbo Shrimp laughs as Angela is angry and walks out stage left. Jumbo Shrimp notices that she's leaving and panics; blows off Oscar and bails as Oscar realizes that he just made things worse for HIM. So we head to Jumbo Shrimp's beaker like house and Oscar knocks on the door and Jumbo Shrimp answers it as Jumbo Shrimp blows him off because he's under orders from Angela never to speak to him ever again. Angela is in the background with a bowl of popcorn glaring at Oscar; and Jumbo Shrimp slams the door in Oscar's face before Oscar can get any words out.
So Milo joins in as Oscar sits on the stairs admitting that things just got worse; and now Jumbo and Angela hate him. Geez; you think?! After all; you didn't say your sorry...and that's exactly what Milo asks about and Oscar finally realizes that he screwed himself and now he wants to apologize; but there is no way since neither of them want to hear him. Milo has a Krackpotkin Plan; and it better not involve a squid going up a waterfall because that is not cool; to steal Kit Cloudkicker's material. So we head to the park as Jumbo Shrimp and Angela are cosplaying Star Trek (check the fake ears on both of them) while having a picnic at 4:56 pm. They hug each other as good times are ahead. We pan up to the sky as Milo is piloting an airplane like Kit's wet dream; complete with scarf and goggle. Look; if this was supposed to be an insult to Kit fans; it doesn't work because: (a) Milo piloting is MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! Have Bea pilot the plane and that'll insult me. (b) Kit has already flown the SeaDuck and the Thunderyak more than once. (c) Milo is going to crash said plane at some point. He proclaims that he is pilot while doing tailgunner to amuse me; all while slapping the red scarf in Oscar's face who is basically wearing the same outfit; only with a blue scarf. At least it isn't banana yellow; or that would be totally NOT cool at all. So the plan is to skywrite the apology while Oscar jumps down and parachutes in front of the happy couple. This sounds like stalking to me. I betcha this ends exactly like the movie because it simply has to; otherwise, there is no payoff to be had. So Oscar jumps onto the side of the plane and it's on three. Oscar yells three and Milo turns the plane upside down and Oscar freefalls and yells at Milo. HAHA! Hey; you did say on "three". That's your fault Oscar! You should have started at "one". So we cut back to the Star Trek couple having fun and we know Oscar is going to crash directly into the couple and ruin everything...I check the video...Dammit! He missed by 10 1/2 feet and landed on his head before hitting the parachute. He's going to wish reality set in and he was dead as he crawls from the carnage.
Angela demands answers to this outrage and tells Oscar to talk to her ass because it's the only thing that gives a hoot. Ooookkkkkaaayyyyy. Oscar pleas for her to listen and look up as Milo does his skywriting and manages to spell I'm Sorry Angela correctly. HAHA! Poor Baloo; Milo is a better speller than he is. And then Milo catches himself claiming that he cannot land the plane; which is the hardest part of them all. Milo panics and goes into circles like a chicken with his feathers in a knot as he covers the message with the skywriting clouds which he somehow switched back on or forgot to switch off. Angela and Jumbo Shrimp both cannot see and then the smoke clears; and it sezs I Heart Angela. HA! Milo's plane crashes off-screen; and Angela blows Oscar off. However; Jumbo Shrimp starts to cry as Angela finally realizes that Oscar still has eyes for her; and this gets ugly as JS blows off Oscar for lying about it being cool; as Oscar tries to explain; but it's not happening because Jumbo Shrimp has ROID RAGE~! They call it Nerd Rage; but as the presicent in Big Fish, it's Roid Rage! He turns into a shrimp version of The Incredible Hulk as he wants to smash puny nerds. We get shots of his brain and DNA during this sequence and we see Bud outside sweeping the room and he's scared as the sign outside the store reads Scaredy Cats. Pfft. So Oscar shoves Angela out of the way and Hulk Shrimp punches Oscar so hard that he flies into the air and then stays in midair for about 20 seconds to allow Oscar to be relieved. It's another "do nothing of note and see if the kids laugh at it" spot; and this one makes no sense. Oscar falls and lands in the hands of Hulk Shrimp. Oscar panics and hide behind Hulk Shrimps's back as we play "Where's Oscar hiding?" for a while. So Oscar climbs up his back and covers the eyes of Hulk Shrimp. Hulk Shrimp panics and runs through fishtank after fishtank; and the force is so great that the fronts of the fishtank all shatter and spew water out onto the floor of the petstore. Hulk Shrimp finally grabs him after about 10 of these fishtanks gets smashed and punches him in the face about eight times ON-SCREEN (seriously!).
Now; within these punches, Oscar continues to talk that he only wanted to say that he is sorry for how things turned out, and Angela floats in and demands Hulk Shrimp to stop at once. Hulk Shrimp teases not selling this as Oscar states that he is perfectly all right and cool with Jumbo Shrimp dating Angela and just wanted to say he's sorry for how Fish Prom ended. Too little; too late Oscar. But it is the thought that counts as Angela forgives him along with Hulk Shrimp as Hulk Shrimp has a group hug and Oscar gets crushed like a grape. HAHA! By the way; Milo did parachute out safely and is perfectly fine. It's all right because TaleSpin did that to death in 1990; so there you go. So we go to Fish General Hospital as we see Oscar in bed in a mummy cast as the heart monitor literally flatlines on cue. We discover that Milo had unplugged unintentionally, and Milo claims that he was hooking it for surround sound. Yes; they are having movie night in the hospital. That's legal. Bo Gregory, Albert and Escarmargot are on the floor; while Jumbo Shrimp and Angela are on the sofa wearing shirts that say I heart you and the arrow are pointing at each other. That's kind of like those shirts saying: I'm with stupid. Milo plugs in the surround sound on a four plug box; as Angela and Jumbo thank Oscar for proving that Jumbo Shrimp is a good fit for her protection wise; and is willing to help Oscar find her dream girl. Now; we have gone 11+ minutes of this episode and guess who we haven't seen yet? Yeah; Bea. And because Bea is the main event of this show and thus they need to keep Miss Kane happy, Bea appears out of nowhere saying that she'll be there by his side. Both Angela and Oscar wink at each other as the heart monitor flatlines again and Oscar drops dead with X eyes. Milo appears in the foreground with the plug because he needs a plug for the popcorn machine and that ends the episode at 11:20 approx. OH MY GOD! Milo killed Oscar! YOU BASTARD! No, not really. This was pretty much a fine episode with a really great finish and ending. Plus; only thirty seconds of screen time for Bea! How can you hate that? *** 1/4 (65%).
South Pafishic: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: 80's Dance Moves. Fitting since most rednecks were born during the Reagan period.) as Bud is break dancing in the most awkward way possible. Whatever Bud. So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as Bea comes in calling for Zeus Mussels while driving a cart full of stuff. She's on stage with Zeus Mussels in the director's chair as Bea unwrap a blue poster containing a picture of herself as a sailor with a stray palm tree and the title is called Bea in South Pafishic. Yeah; this is all about Bea; which as I mentioned in the summary; makes Nurse Fishington a babyface by proxy. Everyone is giddy because they have to go along with this; or Bea will kill them. No, not really. It's more like bury them which might be worse. So Zeus repeats everything she said and acts like he didn't hear what Bea said. HA! And great minds think alike which contradicts the "Great Minds Think For Themselves" from the One Saturday Morning era; but that is more accurate. Bea proclaims that they need money for props and costumes and navy ships (good lord Bea; you are absurder than usual which is better than being a bigger asshole than usual in the last rant.); but does let up slighty be saying that she'll use props from last year's musical. Zeus blows it off because they have no money due to the vanity project Zeus did earlier with a musical called Beef Jerky. HA! I guess he had a duet with Beef from Quack Pack which was infinite times better than Ducks by Nature. Bea doesn't like this; but she'll just ask Nurse Fishington for funds in the budgets because robots love budgets. That sounds goofy. Clamantha is confused as usual as Bea points out that Fishington is a robot. I should point out that Fishington is the new principal of the school because Stickler left since his original voice actor decided to bail out. Probably because Stiller finally realized that this show was ruining his creditability. I have completed half of the Principal Bea rant; so I do know this at least.
So we head to the prinicpal office as Bea is behind closed doors and Fishington seems to be losing it as she is shooting lasers in the room and making Bea panic. HAHA! She hate Bea as much as I do now. Oh; and there will be no funds for her play either. Good for her! Fishington at least realizes that Bea's acting skills suck so much. Sadly for this episode; that turns Fishington babyface. Anna Pottis voices Fishington; but I have already tributed her in Principal Bea and once that rant is up; then she'll get the proper tribute. When is it coming? Probably never at this rate. Bea pleads her case and Fishington shoots laser because she gets jumpy about stage work and thinks this is not an unreasonable reaction. I cannot argue that overwhelming logic there Principal Fishington. Bea wants a fighting chance as she almost gets fried by the lasers and I'm ignoring the obvious problem of having a principal who shoots lasers at kids. Because I don't like Bea at all. Is that an unreasonable response? (Everyone: Ummmmmm...Can I get back to you?) Bea offers her a chance to see the drama club and Fishington decides to sell it. So we head to the theater and we see wooden navy ships across the stage with puppet marionettes; along with Albert Glass, Escarmargot and Jumbo Shrimp wearing sailor suits and fake mustaches singing. This is a musical so the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM does make sense here. Okay; here's the obvious problem with this: They already have quite enough props for the show as it is. So what is the point about Bea asking for money from Fishington? Hold that thought for a moment as we proceed through this crappy musical as Bea sings and she looks terrible here. Fishington is not amused at all and calls this an error and fries everyone with the lasers. That was good. I should note that the marionette is an old man. Whatever guys.
So Fishington storms out and locks the theatre doors and puts a yellow tape sign that sezs closed on it before storming off stage left. Milo and Oscar are outside looking on (of course) as Milo doesn't think this looks good. NO?! REALLY?! Oscar proclaims that they must hit...ERRRR...I mean help Bea as somehow we scene change to the GOOFS WITH ATTITUDE in the lunch room having their meal as Bea and Oscar want Jumbo Shrimps help and JS refuses to sell until he gets payment. So Bea gives him a pudding cup and JS accepts it and licks the whole thing clean. Whatever JS! So we exchange notes as apparently Fishington hates drama club which implies that she canceled the drama class completely. Here's the other problem; since the drama club already has enough props to do the theme Bea wants; then the canceling of the drama club is BEA'S fault because she asked for money she DIDN'T need; thus if she didn't ask for it; Fishington would have never noticed the play and wouldn't have canceled the drama club. Do you get why I hate Bea now?! Anyhow; Jumbo Shrimp thinks that this is a computer issue and then decides to not help them because he's too busy watching a marthron television show that I don't give a damn about and neither does Milo as he wants to replace Jumbo Shrimp with....wait for it....Tom ComputerFish! Yeah. Not only that; we segue into a stupid ad that makes reBOOT look like a professional computer shop. It looks so low rent and it looks like a leftover from Kick Buttowski too; right down to the announcer. Tom does have cool shades and a cool looking skateboard; but I don't care. Either way; that is enough for Jumbo Shrimp to change his mind as he'll just put it on DVDR. Okay. Jumbo Shrimp's Krackpotkin plan is to go to school AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) and get into Fishington's brain while she is being recharged in her room; to fix the error message inside of her. Milo blows it off because Tom can play the guitar and does some funny guitar playing spots to amuse me.
So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH AFTER HAPPY HOUR and into the hallways as Milo is crawling on the walls with X-ray goggles which isn't as impressive as Spiderman since it's underwater. Oscar is sweating as Milo is looking for motion sensors; but Jumbo Shrimp comes in with a cart of technology and blows off Milo because there are no motion sensors. Dammit! This makes Milo useless now! So we head inside the principal office as Fishington is standing there next to the desk with her eyes closed. I discover as Jumbo is coming in that the cart he is is his desk of computer stuff. He plugs his computer into Fishington as I realize that they are redoing the plot from Scrooge's Last Adventure; only no one is teasing death. Which is fine because they don't have much heat anyway. Fishington's mouth opens as green gas comes out and engulfs the babyfaces as they cough. Sadly; this leads nowhere as Jumbo claims that he has hacked into Fishington. Milo looks at the computer screen and thinks that Fishington's thoughts are like a game of Arkanoid only the ball plays in the middle while the blocks are at the top and the bottom with the sides as being out of bounds. Kind of like playing it on a smartphone. It looks silly. So Jumbo Shrimp tells them not to touch anyway because if they do then they will be purged. Wait; so if you touch anything in the system, then what is the point of going in there and figuring out the error? Seriously; does anyone in creative realize how stupid that sounds? Actually; they do because it only serves the purpose of having Milo play with a fire engine and Jumbo Shrimp doing the "Did you hear what I said?" spot which Milo sezs something something. Oh lord; this episode is horrible thus far. And then Jumbo tells them to do exactly what he sezs and come back by sunrise because Fishington will revive at that point. And then just to make Bea look even MORE of an asshole than she already is; she have her and her friends wearing these ultra goofy Gedo fashion sense gear with blue shades. Which I realize are similar to what Tom Computerfish wears. Oh sod off Bea! I'm getting sick and tired of Bea's insipidity and stupidity at this point.
Jumbo Shrimp is questioning this as Bea wants to make a fashion statement. Oh lord; where is the gun from A Fools Paradise when I really need it. When Jumbo Shrimp is the voice of reason and the voice that blows off Bea; then you know Bea is killing this episode big time. So Jumbo Shrimp goes on about certain things while the goofs enter through the mouth. So we head inside as they enter through Fishington's brain door which they do not touch; but it still magically opens without prompting. So we head inside a room which they claim is old school. Jumbo Shrimp is on computer asking Bea what she sees and then we see Jumbo Shrimp as his computer apparently is a Commodore VIC-20. That is really old school which at least fits the episode well. And then he loses track of Milo even though he's clearly in there trying to grab a Tom Computerfish key chain. He disappears and I was about to go on a triade about how dead the racist joke is of having the visiable minority guy being killed off first in a horror movie. And then I find out that he gets thrown out of Fishington's mouth and takes a bump on the floor and gets dizzy. Having said that; the episode just created another logic break: He wasn't purged; he was expelled from Fishington. So that's a logic break in itself and it also kills the whole tension of being deleted. That is BS&P being an ass! You couldn't tease Milo getting the keychain; with Oscar coming in to make the save; but Milo gets out of the way and Oscar touches the key chain and gets purged? At least Oscar is not voiced by a visible minority; unless Justin Roiland is legit gay or transgender. Which I doubt very seriously. Anyway; Jumbo Shrimp blows off Milo as Oscar and Bea make it to the red double doors from hell as Jumbo Shrimp hacks in to open them. Bea floats in as JS tells us that the error message is behind those doors. Oscar tries to float in and the doors close as he is in between the doors.
Oscar then touches the doors to try to open them. And he DOESN'T get expelled at all! Remember that Jumbo Shrimp told them not to touch anything?! Oscar gets squashed like crazy and still he doesn't get expelled! GOD DAMN DO I HATE THIS EPISODE! Jumbo Shrimp is doing nothing as Bea notices a white door with a red error message on the window and she touches the white door proclaiming that she's going in and she goes in despite touching the door and doesn't get expelled. None of this makes any sense!! So Bea is in a projection room and looks out as she sees a B&W movie of a stage as a teacher is sitting in the seats of the theater and up on stage is Nurse Fishington as a young lass. See; the reason that Fishington hates stage is because Fishington is a robot and according to the teacher; this automatically disqualifys her from doing plays because apparently robots cannot covey the complex emotions of a living being. Wow; that is so robotism that I was hoping Astro Boy would run in and laser beam the teacher for fun. Sadly; Fishington goes nut and sprays green laser beams out of her body as Bea gets blown back out of the projection room as the error message goes on and on. Jumbo Shrimp tells them that they have 20 seconds left before Fishington revives. So Bea is yelling at Oscar to keep the doors open for her as she swims over to Oscar as the entire memory area turns to green computer crap. They go through the door with ease as the entire area engulfs them. And of course they touch the blocks just to piss me off again during this entire sequence and then they get expelled. Yeah; they finally take the bumps on the floor like Milo after touching half of the area while Milo touches one thing and gets expelled instantly. Idiots! Jumbo Shrimp asks about the error and Bea admits that she couldn't fix it because there is no error. See; Fishington is acting on a false negative error because her feelings were hurt. Jumbo Shrimp blows this off and Astro seriously needs to fry this shrimps' ass for his robotism.
Bea points out that this robot has memories which are really sad; but Bea has a Krackpotkin Plan and wants everyone to leave the office before Fishington wakes up. So they leave and I stopped caring because this is so stupid anyway. So we head back to the hallways in the morning as the babyfaces are putting up blue banners for their plays in the middle of the hallway and out of the principal office comes Fishington who may or may not be as pissed as I am about this episode. And the kids in the plays are wearing their dumb outfits again. This is like waving a red cloth over to a 20 ton bull. Nothing good can come out of this as Fishington demands answers to this outrage. Bea explains that since she closed up the theatre and killed the drama club because Fishington refused to pay up; they are going to do the play in the hallway. Fishington goes nut and tells everyone to get the hell out of there in roundabout terms. Then she turns her arm into a flame thrower gun and burn down the whole school. Bea then tells her to let it go because she can help defeat the pirates in the play of South Pafishic. Bea hands her a script because she is going to be part of the play she never got the chance to be in as Bea puts a sailor hat in her hair. And then what happens next just brings in the absolute bush league factor that the new Disney hasn't done much of; but this absolutely pissed me off: Fishington gets hearts in her eyes and she's very emotional. This did not piss me off. Then we do a white flash and suddenly we see stock footage of live action footage of flowers blooming, crystals shining, two bunnies in love hugging each other as the heart comes back; and Fishington is so touched that her eyes completely explode. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! Fishington asks how she knew about her problems of getting on stage and Milo states that they figured out when they went inside her head. HA! I love honest Milo.
Fishington looks pissed so Bea blows off Milo; and then Fishington completely calms down for no reason. Bea then goes into the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM because we just have to hear her sing as Escarmargot and Bea hold Fishington's hands and dance around in a circle; and then we jackhammer orange explosion background...and we...tap dance? WHAT?! Fishington might have no feelings; but she does have awesome breakdance moves for someone who is old. So we do more dancing as more of the babyfaces dance like complete fools and then we end with a flourish. Now; if I was booking this, I would have it end and then have them boo the whole thing out of the building. Not because Fishington sucks; but because Bea is a soul sucking piece of grade A monkeycrap! Zeus is on sacks of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH backstage and proclaims that the drama club is funded and saved; which means he can buy more Beef Jerky. Oh; so he screwed them out of money because he brought Beef Jerky. What a stupid loud adult?! Fishington soaks in the cheers in disbelief as we get Tom Computerfish doing his promo in the middle of this out of nowhere which is basically straight out of the Billy Van playbook in every possible way. We go to the far shot and then circle fade out to end the episode at 10:40 approx. This episode really sucked dick! We had an idiot plot, a stupid setup, logic breaks out of the wazoo; and then one of the dumbest bush league moments in the history of the new Disney era, a stupid finish and a Billy Van ending that no one cared about and was out of nowhere. And Zeus is a bigger idiot than Bea. DUD (0%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; this suffered from Kick Buttowski WHIPLASH~! Which is what Oscar is suffering after Unresolved Fishues. I thought this was a pretty good episode; although it was mostly due to Angela not crying like a baby this time. Jumbo Shrimp's ROID RAGE finish was awesome and it made this episode for me when he almost murdered Oscar legit with those punches on screen. That was great. Oscar's poetic reasons for breaking up were also funny in a Squirrel Jokes sort of way along with Milo's facial expression; which Angela later steals. I'm disappointed that they didn't pay off the movie with Oscar getting the loofa brush in the face by Angela during the punching sequence, but the whole "It has to end like the movie" bit would have been too predictable and this finish made more sense and was ultimately fun; so points for not going for the obvious finish here. Overall; this was a fun episode; but it's about love so, your rating might vary depending on if you like Oscar, Angela and Jumbo Shrimp. I like all three; with Jumbo Shrimp being the least over, Angela being the most over and Oscar is somewhere in between; square in the middle. Nerds to the left of him; Dorks to the right, he's a geek stuck in the middle with Bea; who is 60% of the time; an asshole.
I HATED South Pafishic and it was doomed right from the start. Sure; Fishington's dance moves were good and I did have sympathy for her not being on stage because she was a robot; but god damn, everything in this episode sucked the meat missile with gusto. Bea's Krackpotkin plan was stupid because if she had just ignored this whole funding thing because they used the same props and the same stuff from last time and they still used it for the finish; so it meant nothing in the end. She could have just done the play and skip talking to Fishington and earned the money anyway. Even Randy Pincherson as the gun welding mainiac would have suffice. This made Bea look like an arrogrant idiot on par with an American Idiot! Johnny Test in fact. Then there are the stupid logic breaks with Jumbo Shrimp telling them not to touch anything and Milo gets expelled on one touch of a keychain; but Oscar and Bea touch doors and green blocks and not one of them was purged. And they killed all the tension and suspense of the "purge" and they were expelled from Fishington and could have simply gone back in. So it meant nothing. The B&W footage of Fishington was heartbreaking; but the crappy setup wasn't worth it for her and then we got the finish where we use live action stock footage which makes no sense at all and makes Fishington look like a complete fool. Also; I thought the ending was stupid too because they did another Billy Van joke that wasn't needed and Zeus is a loud idiot who eats beef jerky. Overall; I HATED this, this SUCKED!
Now; I have decided that the next three shorts: Spoiler Alert, Fish At Work and Rock Lobster Yeti will be the final episodes I do of Fish Hooks before Christmas Break. Once November 11th is over; that is it until December 21st. I'm not going to do anymore rants until then. I am burned out and I need to have some fun and maybe even finish updating the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage and the 20 Years Of Spin stuff. So next weekend; I'll be doing Recess: School's Out, and then from there, I'll have the final three shorts of season 2 up. Spoiler Alert will likely be done today, but will not be posted until next week. So......
Thumbs down for South Pafishic and Thumbs in the middle for Unresolved Fishues and I'll see you all next time!