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Fish Hooks
Labour Of Love Rant
Reviewed: 12/21/2013
The Only Thing Left To Do Is A Send Off!
So next up on the "Lame Chicken" edition of Fish Hooks; we finally have probably the biggest and only real angle to pay off in this lame duck season: Mr. Baldwin and Miss Lips finally get married and Mr. Baldwin is going to have that baby inside of him after nearly two plus years of waiting. Will this live up to the hype; or will Bea become the biggest jackass and ruin it like she always does? So; let's rant on shall we...?
Labour of Love is written and storyboarded by Derek Evanick, Joe Johnston and Diana Lafyatis. The story is done by the directors, the writers, Maxwell Atoms (who did direction here too), Noah Z. Jones, Craig Lewis and Darrick Bachman. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.
We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Flip Flops. Both ways I might add!) as Bud is walking outside with a bowl of popcorn while a monkey dressed up as a maid is vacuuming behind him. I think we set the time record for fastest "Now this episode really sucks" moment since doing these rants. This one sucks faster than Shaun Desmond now. So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH and in class with a closeup of Milo's hands on a color picture of Miss Lips and Mr. Baldwin on a chair embracing each other; in probably the happiest moment they have had in this entire series. We see various photos of Baldwin and Lips dating and then we discover that they have already married since they are in formal gear and Miss Lips short motor skills screw her as she trips and falls into the conveniently placed fountain in one of the photos. We also discover that Milo is not at his desk; but in the shelf of Mr. Baldwin's desk as he is sorting cards. So Oscar comes over with Shellsea as Jumbo Shrimp takes a seat at his desk. Oscar points out that being at Mr. Baldwin's desk is not a good idea. Milo claims that he was looking for something; but forgot. Sure Milo; sure you did. Milo gives Oscar the photos as Milo throws out stuff and opens a case containing the diamond ring. As if the pictures didn't indicate that Mr. Baldwin has already married to Miss Lips. Milo puts on the ring while Oscar is in awe. Bea comes in and blows off Milo for putting the ring on. Oh sod off Bea; you are the one who almost killed that relationship along with your other captial offenses against other people's feelings. So Mr. Baldwin comes in just as Milo is sucking on the diamond ring like a soothe. Mr. Baldwin talks about the perks of having a baby inside of him is that he gets to use the bathroom a lot. And wouldn't you know it; Bea basically blurts out the entire thing about Mr. Baldwin preposing to Miss Lips. Wait; I thought they already married? So the photos were photoshopped? That was pretty stupid as Mr. Baldwin shoos everyone away from his desk. He grabs Milo; as Milo spits out the diamond ring and then kisses Mr. Baldwin on the nose. Poor guy.
Mr. Baldwin blows off the prospect because he hasn't preposed to Miss Lips yet. The kids are not happy to hear that as Bea asks what is stopping him. Well Bea; you are causing alienation of affection by exposing his love to the students of Freshwater like you did in Fish Lips Sink Ships. Milo backs her up on this as Baldwin admits that he wants to do it; but when he is about to pull the trigger, he gets tongue tied. Codeword: Everytime I pull the trigger the 700 Club is on my ass. Which is perverted in so many ways I might add. Baldwin wants to get married more than anyway as Bea has the Gruffi pose and wants him to take charge. She wants Baldwin to march into Miss Lips' office and prepose to her right now. Baldwin agrees with this; and then Bea claims that she wants the kids to watch him prepose. You just never learn to stay out of people's business Bea as Baldwin gets the football victory spot he doesn't want at all as he demands them to put him down. How many times do I have to tell anthros/furries that "putting them down" is not something you want to say. Koi is carrying Mr. Baldwin and pressing him like a 300 pound pro wrestler would. He is plopped in front of the door leading to Miss Lips' office; and then he yells at them that he'll prepose to her right now. So the door opens and out comes Miss Lips and she greets him as cookie before catching herself...AGAIN! So we discover that Miss Lips is waving goodbye because she is going on vacation to Flip Flop Island which is shown on a poster she brings out. So TaleSpin-ish of you writers. So Miss Lips goes there every year as Bea is doing more pressure tactics on Mr. Baldwin to pull the trigger on the marriage thing. Will someone please tell Bea to go away?! Mr. Baldwin holds hands with Miss Lips and tries to say it; but then he gets a stomach ache and crumbles. HAHA! Baldwin actually says that he hopes she has a wonderful trip and Miss Lips is happy to hear that. It's still nice that he can be nice when he's gassed. Miss Lips kisses him on the forehead and leaves. Albert is not amused and blows off Mr. Baldwin for being a coward inside Mr. Baldwin's classroom. And yes; it's a segueway. Whatever.
Mr. Baldwin bonks his face on the desk admitting that he blew it. Milo suggests going to Flip Flop Island; but Mr. Baldwin blows off the idea because he has zero vacation days. Geez; I wonder how Miss Lips got vacation time huh? He's worried about certain Spongebob Squarepants characters taking his future wife away as Milo proclaims that there is a way to go to Flip Flop Island without vacation time and yells...FIELD TRIP~! So that is a segueway to the kids and Mr. Baldwin on a pink jet which is driven by a pulley system. Whatever guys. And then we land about a foot above the tank which has the island; we scene change to them on the island looking at the area which contains hamsters and assorted birds. There is a Inkan like temple, palm trees and a castle like resort in the background along with a swimming pool. And there is a lot of sand; but sadly no one is wearing flip flops. Geez guys; you cannot be on Flip Flop Island if you aren't wearing Flip Flops. It's the easiest payoff and the writers didn't even do it. We pan over and see a crab going to a booth with drinks as the gang is giddy and we do the most contrived version of the eye wash spot ever. Then we zoom out to notice a tanned hunk with black hair and Hawaiian like shorts and pink flower necklace waving hello to Steve Jackson. He calls himself Steve Mchallow as he shakes hands with Steve Jackson and they do the Sunshine Jackhammer spot in stereo which is pretty awesome. The girls get big eyed and giddy on cue. Whatever guys. Shellsea calls this the best field trip ever despite being on the island for less than three minutes. Did I just say...Oh never mind. So Mr. Baldwin tells most of the students to go along with Steve Mchallow to the resort and they follow up as such. Only Oscar, Bea and Milo are with Mr. Baldwin as Baldwin is calling for Clamantha; and she arrives out of nowhere. I'm guessing that she was supposed to be washed ashore; but the camera missed it. Clamantha gets into Oscar's arms and gets all giddy about getting more kissy kissy from Oscar. Oscar is horrified by this and throws Clamantha back into the ocean water (which is in the background) just after she implies that she is going to rub suntan lotion on him. Yeah; that was creepy.
So the goofs with attitude are exchanging notes with Mr. Baldwin and then they drag Mr. Baldwin away stage left to find Miss Lips. Baldwin sort of protests this because he has nothing to say to her; but Bea claims that she has taken care of that. So we see Oscar about to leave; but then we hear whispering and Oscar goes over and notices Albert Glass and Jumbo Shrimp with a lot of luggage as JS wants Oscar to look around as there is both a temple and a scary pirate cave; which is not scary. Memo to writers: The Air Pirates of TaleSpin will always out do the average pirates; even Jack Sparrow (who is a great Disney pirate as is Captain Hook); so why bother trying? The dorks gets giddy about this as JS opens the CHEST OF DEMONS and it reveals the most shiny gold digging metal detector I have ever seen. This leads them to dress up like complete fools and do the Samurai Pizza Cats victory pose complete with blue jackhammer background. Before they do anything that gives them an actual victory. And then the background returns to normal and Oscar is using and finding no metal. Yeah; what a waste? Albert suggests going west; and they follow him with the metal detector on. I should point out that the heat lamp is the thing that is causing the sunshine by the way as evident in the scene changer. We see lizards and frogs on the beach on towels sun tanning and then pan west to a lawn chair set up as Miss Lips (with a two piece bathing suit checking through her cyan blue/cheese stripe bag. That seems so fitting of her for some reason. We get the educational line of the episode just as Miss Lips squirts suntan lotion on her kisser. Remember a time when she only crumble doorways and she was much funnier? I certainly do as Mr. Baldwin arrives in his Hawaiian pink shirt (YAY!) with 1980's headphones on his ears. Miss Lips is so happy to see him that she calls him cupcake and we exchange pleasure thoughts for a while. So we get a closeup of Mr. Baldwin's face as we discover that he is basically cutting a WWE scripted promo with Bea on hands free transmission somewhere near a palm tree with Milo as both are on a purple carpet. Man; that looked cheap.
Bea asks how they are doing as Milo is behind the bushes watching Miss Lips talk about how romantic this is from afar and then she completely loses herself and back hand plants into the sand. Ooookkkkkaaaayyyy. So Bea gives the headphones to Milo and Milo does such a subductive voice that I swear the voice is not being done by Corey Baxter. If he is; then that is actually good acting on Kyle's part. So Milo starts sounding gross and comparing Miss Lips to a hamster which implies that Milo still have feelings for Paula Hamster. Miss Lips is in shock as Bea demands the headphones; but Milo blows her off as Mr. Baldwin just continues to act like he's listening to a porno audio disc (and somehow; I know there has to be one like that); as Bea finally gets the headphones back and Mr. Baldwin wants her to ignore what he said because he's old and lost himself...Yeap; he is fully compatiable with her in every single way. So Mr. Baldwin offers Miss Lips her arm and she agrees to it without question and they walk off as the bush moves behind them like a bush from an Hanna Barbera production. So it's BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as we head to the TEMPLE OF DOOM as some parrots are flying in the foreground and we see Miss Lips and Mr. Baldwin running up the steps of the temple. Miss Lips is perfectly fine because she is saying WOWZERS while Mr. Baldwin is out of breath and feeling his baby kicking him back for it; or something like it. The bush appears next to the entrance on the right side as Bea and Milo watch on. So Bea tells Mr. Baldwin that he has something very important to say and do since there is a reason that he brought her up here. Baldwin brings out the diamond ring and is about to pull the trigger on the perposal; when we hear a kitten meowing inside Miss Lips' bag and Miss Lips tells him to hold that thought and she brings out Attila the blue cat of doom which repulses Milo and Bea so much that Bea calls it gross. Now you would think that Mr. Baldwin would be smart enough not to repeat every word Bea sezs; but I betcha he does repeat what Bea says. Because you see; if adults are not stupid, kids will change the channel. Damn; I'm so good.
Miss Lips is PISSED off because she has been dating a cat fish hating monster. Look; I don't think Attila is gross; I just think she's just another catfish who just likes being funky. Or something like that. Miss Lips is about to leave as Mr. Baldwin pleas for mercy and wants to explain; but then the stomach ache returns to screw him over. He then graphically belches in Miss Lips' face; which causes Miss Lips to smack Mr. Baldwin in the face on-screen with no impact stars to cover it up and the diamond ring goes flying into the temple and down the spiral staircase inside. Baldwin cannot believe it as Miss Lips blows him off and doesn't want to see his bald face again and leaves. Baldwin tries to retort; but nothing as Milo and Bea finally come out and realize that they screwed up. Once again; Bea kills another relationship and we wonder why we old farts point out how irresponsible Bea is in butting her nose in other people's business? And it's Milo who admits the screw up as we end the segment eight and a half minutes in. Okay episode so far; but nothing really great about it.
After the commercial break; we head to the swimming pool with all the kids as Bea exchanges notes with all the member of Freshwater high who are in the pool. Fimberly gets her contracted line in as Shellsea is not amused because this might mean that they are going home and she's having fun with both Steves as they go all woah on Shellsea like a bunch of goofballs. So Fimberly is sobbing in Koi's arms as Bea proclaims that this will be fixed and she wants the girls to get Miss Lips and Milo to get Mr. Baldwin. Yeap; this is basically turning into an extended Fish Talent Show episode. Milo then informs Bea that the diamond ring is in the temple as Bea swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (dang) wondering how they are going to get the ring. So then we see Oscar, Jumbo Shrimp and Albert Glass coming in looking defeated as Albert Glass shows that they found someone's wallet; and he claims that it's not treasure and feels bad for the guy. Bea then gets a Krackpotkin idea and tells them that she knows some treasure and we segue way back to the temple with the dorks climbing up the stairs and having MORE trouble with breathing than Mr. Baldwin is. Oscar is sweating bullets as usual as I discover that the temple is in the shape of a squid's head. They cut promos on the lady of adventure calling and asks if they are fish or men. Albert claims that they are fish and JS is a shrimp. But it doesn't matter as they go inside and get giddy at the front of the spiral staircase leading down as we see Clamantha in front of the entrance overhearing the engagement ring and then we go to a purple background as Clamantha turns purple and cuts a Lord of The Rings promo. Yeah. So we head back to the beach as Mr. Baldwin is at the Taqueria which is basically a tavern counter style taco booth being served by a turtle with a blue hat. Mr. Baldwin stuffs himself with tacos and it's clear now what is causing Mr. Baldwin to be gassed now. We then see the top of Milo's head on the close up shot of Baldwin eating tacos like a machine. Mr. Baldwin blows off Milo because Miss Lips hates him because of Milo's stupidity. Ummm; it was Bea who said it, not Milo Mr. Baldwin.
So Milo admits that the plan went awry; but he has another one which Mr. Baldwin completely blows off because he doesn't want anymore plans. Milo asks if he is going to eat tacos all day with his baby inside; and Baldwin claims that he will. Milo steals the tray of tacos and starts eating them; including taking one out of Mr. Baldwin's mouth. Many years ago; I would have been repulsed by this, but now I just don't care anymore. Baldwin blows him off because having gas is the only feeling he has left. So he has no sorrow or sadness in him? That makes no sense considering the scene. Milo climbs onto the table and hugs Mr. Baldwin's; mostly his big green nose. That made me laugh. Milo claims that he'll keep doing this until he feels better because it's not like he cannot be anymore dumped. Mr. Baldwin proclaims that Milo is right; and he needs to remind Miss Lips of his love. So we head to a wooden tub filled with mud as Miss Lips has cuecumbers slices on her eyes and she is eating tacos. Attila has her own custom made mud tub as we see Fimberly, Shellsea, Koi and Escarmargot with faces covered in mud as Miss Lips declares life is so unfair to her. I pretty much got the picture when you were crumbling doorways with your head madam. Then as she is cutting this promo we see all of them (minus Attila for some reason) riding on a banana tied to a rope; and then they get bumped off of it and splash into the water. Which leads to a segueway BEFORE HAPPY HOUR on the beach as the girls and Miss Lips are walking on the sand as Miss Lips is now holding her cat Attila. Okay; the banana surfboard is funny; I'll grant them that much. Miss Lips hates fish who are catfish hater and she'll never forgive Baldwin even if he throws a surprise party at a fancy resturant. Miss Lips where they are going and Shellsea claims that they are going bowling as they enter into a fancy resturant. So we head inside and Lips is stunned as Milo is dressed like a French waiter as the menu is filled with hot dogs. So French Milo offers her to her table and Miss Lip claims that she is hungry as the music plays and then it stops and she's mad because the table Milo is going to is the one with Mr. Baldwin in it. Yeap; this is similar to Fish Talent Show; only with more heat. Miss Lips is pissed; as Milo claims that Mr. Baldwin is paying for her and the cat; so Miss Lips recoils a bit and sits down...
...and then grabs the tables and pulls her; the chair and table far away from Mr. Baldwin stage left. HAHA! Miss Lips claims that she wants nachos as we scene change to inside the temple of doom with the dorks as we get a lot of mature lighting. In a cartoon. Albert has the torch (the same one used by old farts to put into their ears and pretend that they cause physical pain to themselves everytime they hear a joke from a modern cartoon); as Jumbo Shrimp and Albert exchange thoughts on whatever comes up in their minds. Albert's answer is both actually in case you cared about whatever question Jumbo Shrimp asked. I don't as we see a stone slab containing a picture of a squid making the temple with tree logs and saws; which he slips and falls on his face. See; they are called the _Ink_as because it's a pun on squid and ink. At least this pun makes sense; so points to the writers for that. The dorks walk away stage left and when they are out of sight; Clamantha bounces in and cuts the same LOTR promo before bouncing stage left and then we segueway to a closeup shot of Miss Lips eating nachos as apparently; she has decided to tolerate being within three feet of Mr. Baldwin as she is sitting at the table and Mr. Baldwin has joined in. Miss Lips' eating is as vainglorious as Kick's personality; only it's much more suited for her and her cat Attila. Mr. Baldwin continues to praise her and she completely ignores him while chomping with her mouth open. Baldwin grabs Milo as Milo's tray topples and glasses actually break on the floor on screen. Nice. Baldwin proclaims that he cannot do anything if she won't speak and Milo tells him to relax because he has it covered. Baldwin then asks how he rented the area and Milo claims that he stole Mr. Baldwin's credit card which shocks and before he can blow Milo off; he is shut up by Milo. So we head to the spotlight on the stage as we have Escarmargot who is reading off cue cards as this is the "Legend of Baldwin". Miss Lips seems to like this prospect; but Mr. Baldwin is not happy at all about this development.
So both Steves in caveman gear walk out with a giant egg (the same one laid in Fanboy & Chum Chum) on a stretcher and nest as they put it down and it hatches. Take one guess who hatches out of the egg; and who is playing Mr. Baldwin? Yeah; it's the relationship killer herself sounding like soft core porno just like she usually does. Yeah; this is much worse than having Escarmargot being Baldwin because her giving up would not be out of place for Baldwin and Miss Lips. Bea Baldwin has a pickle for a nose; dresses in Gedo colors and has red hair with a spotted brown bowtie. And just to make this worse; Shellsea is playing the cat fish as she is dressed up as such as per Fish School Musical. We hit the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as Baldwin blows off Milo for revisionist history; but Milo doesn't care because Miss Lips is enjoying this entertainment. Something tells me that Miss Lips knows that is not the real Mr. Baldwin. I mean; even Mr. Baldwin would never dye his hair red. Baldwin cracks a small smile as we scene change back to the dorks inside the temple of doom as the metal detector finally detects something and we zoom out to discover that they are in the treasure room of doom. Albert Glass is so happy that he wants to buy a skateboard despite having at least $1.8 trillion dollars or so of treasure to spend on. Then Oscar notices the diamond ring; but there is just one problem to this: The ring is around the claw of a big ass white cat who is snoozing. So I'm guessing that this is the famed Guardian Cat and Guardian Cat is voiced by the late Michael Clarke Duncan (passed away in 2012) and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Duncan took other security jobs while in Los Angeles while trying to get some acting work in commercials. During this time, he worked as a bodyguard for celebrities like Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Jamie Foxx, LL Cool J, and The Notorious B.I.G., all the while doing bit parts in television and films. When the Notorious B.I.G. was killed in 1997, Duncan quit this line of work.[3]
After having begun his career with several bit parts playing bouncers in films such as Bulworth and A Night at the Roxbury, Duncan first came to prominence when he was cast as Bear in the blockbuster Michael Bay action film Armageddon (1998). During the production of the film, Duncan struck up a friendship with castmate Bruce Willis and it was Willis' influence that helped him to get his breakout role as gentle giant John Coffey in the Frank Darabont-directed The Green Mile (1999). Starring alongside Tom Hanks, Duncan's acclaimed performance netted him an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor in a Supporting Role and a Golden Globe nomination for Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture.[8][9] Following his iconic dramatic turn as Coffey, Duncan was then cast in a string of films that helped to establish him as a star adept at both action and comedy: The Whole Nine Yards (2000), Planet of the Apes (2001), The Scorpion King (2002) (where he starred alongside his friend, The Rock), and Daredevil (2003) (reuniting him with Armageddon co-star Ben Affleck) as Wilson Fisk, aka The Kingpin. When Duncan was cast as the Kingpin in 2002,[10] he faced the dual challenge of portraying a typically white character[11][12] and having to gain 40 pounds to fit the character's large physique. In July 2006, Duncan showed interest in returning for the role of the Kingpin, but stated that he would not be willing to regain the weight that he had lost.[13] In 2009, he stopped eating meat and later appeared in a PETA ad campaign, touting the health benefits and his increased strength from a vegetarian diet.[14][15] In 2005, Duncan appeared in two prominent action films, The Island (his second Michael Bay Film) and Sin City (again alongside Bruce Willis) where he played Manute, a powerful mobster.
Critic Roger Ebert singled out Duncan for praise for his role in the Island, writing that "[Duncan] has only three or four scenes, but they're of central importance, and he brings true horror to them."[16] Duncan appeared in a supporting role in the 2006 comedy Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby as Lucius Washington and, in 2009, Duncan played Balrog in Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li and starred as the titular Cleon "Slammin'" Salmon in Broken Lizard's farce The Slammin' Salmon. Famous for his deep baritone, Duncan also provided his voice for a number of roles, for films such as Brother Bear (2003) and its sequel, Brother Bear 2, Kung Fu Panda (2008), Green Lantern (2011), TV series such as Loonatics Unleased and Operation: Z.E.R.O., Quiznos commercials, and a number of video games such as Demon Stone, SOCOM II: U.S. Navy SEALs, The Suffering: Ties That Bind, Saints Row, Soldier of Fortune, and God of War II, where he provided the voice of the Titan Atlas. He additionally reprised his role as the Kingpin in Spider-Man: The New Animated Series. In addition to his film roles, Duncan also guest starred in numerous television shows. Among these, he appeared in an episode of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody and a first-season episode of CSI: NY.[17] In 2008, he appeared as "Mr. Colt" in the second-season premiere of Chuck, "Chuck Versus the First Date"[18] and as a guest star on two episodes of Two and a Half Men. Most notably, in April 2011, Duncan guest starred on an episode of TV series Bones as Leo Knox which, in 2012, led to Duncan receiving his first starring role as the same character in the spinoff series The Finder. During the week of May 14, 2012, Duncan appeared on the late night talk show The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson as a guest, when the show was taping for a week in Scotland.
Duncan was one of the show's most frequent guests, appearing a total of eighteen times, and, the day after Duncan's death in September, Ferguson began his show with a special tribute to him. In January 2013 during the Late Late Show's winter break, reruns of the Scotland episodes were broadcast with a memoriam to Duncan at the beginning of each of the 5 episodes featuring Duncan on a pink background and the text "In memory of our friend Michael Clarke Duncan". He started his career in 1995 doing cameos for Married With Children, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, The Bold & The Beautiful and Renegade. He also appeared in the Panic In The Park video game and the movie Friday as a Craps Player. Kim Possible as Young Wade is his DTVA debut and he also appeared on The Proud Family. The Challenger, Saints Row 4, Ultimate Spider-Man (Groot), From The Rough and A Resurrection are his final credits. He has 96 acting credits; 75 Self credits, and one producer credit (Redemption Road) to his resume. So we return as we get the spaceship spot where Bea Baldwin gets a medal from Shellsea who is the president of Fish USA; flanked by the Steves as FBI agents. See; Bea Baldwin won his medal because she saved the world from the moon people. Damn; even the aliens in this world suck the meat missile with gusto if they are defeated by BEA BALDWIN~! Baldwin calls this the weirdest play ever. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. And when in doubt; throw in a robot which Fimberly pushes in with Milo inside the tummy in a prison like cell dressed up like a princess. Which Shellsea points out I might add. Bea's acting in this is so Z-Grade; I swear that she has become a robot now. Miss Lips doesn't care; she loves this play because Bea Baldwin loves her and her cat. And Attila is gone it seems as we have thirty seconds left in this act so I think we all know where this is going now...Yeah; Attila scratches the robot's foot; Bea Baldwin comes over and grabs him and blows it off. Miss Lips gets pissed off because she's too stupid to notice that Baldwin is really Bea in the dumbest disguise and leaves. Yeah; I called that thirty seconds before it happened. Nice to point out how stupid Miss Lips really is beforehand as this ends the segment 15 minutes in.
After the commercial break; we return to the treasure room of doom with the dorks as they are face to face with Guardian Cat. Oscar proclaims that they cannot chicken out now and goes over to the claw and slowly removes the ring while the dork tell him to be careful. Oscar slips the ring from the claw and the boys actually have enough sense not to yell...and then Clamantha bounces in and cuts the LOTR promo again. My precious; what have you done to me?! I don't know; it sounds funnier in my head at the time. Clamantha yells because she thinks the engagement ring is for her (let me remind you that Clamantha is the same character who gets easily fooled by laptops) and bounces that she does want to marry Oscar; and Guardian Cat's eyes wake up and they have green whites indicating that it's a Chinese cat. Guardian Cat rises up while the boys panic on cue and Attila roars. Oh wait; both of them do since we segueway. Miss Lips grabs her and walks off as Mr. Baldwin pleas for mercy; but Miss Lips blows him off and storms off. Milo proclaims that it is possible to get more dumped and hasd another plan which Bea takes down on her notepad. However; Mr. Baldwin is PISSED and has had enough plans, as he is just going to be in charge now and orders Bo Gregory to dim the lights; and Koi Fish to play on the piano as we see a segueway with the dorks being chased out of the temple by Guardian Cat. So we see Koi playing piano and once again; this show steals the music from a song Disney does not own; but changes the lyric to try to prevent copyright infringement. It's "Come Sail Away With Me" from Styx which is on the radio up here in Canada. Baldwin comes out on stage with the microphone and starts singing on stage. Miss Lips turns around and is in awe. I'm not bothering to call this; but calling Attila property is downright insulting to me, even if it's true legally; since Attila's still a living thing. If it was an inanimate object; that's fine, but a living thing, not so much. Milo is on drums by the way while the rest of the kids are on chorus.
And everything is fine as Miss Lips and Attila are wided eyed seeing Mr. Baldwin's face; and then Guardian Cat plows in and growls on stage. Wonderful. Oscar faceplants in and shows the ring to Bea as Jumbo Shrimp yells that Guardian Kitty (as he would say) wants it back. Guardian Cat growls and looks around; but Mr. Baldwin continues to sing. Miss Lips walks forward with her fish cat as the Guardian Cat chases all the kids except for Milo and Koi; while Fimberly bumps again; although this one is understandable due to the giant killer guardian cat on the loose. The spotlight is on them as they walk towards each other while Oscar is walking on tables for fun and profit. Oscar faceplants and the diamond ring goes flying towards Milo as the couple are now within three feet of each other as Baldwin calls for Milo to grab the ring and he does and throws it to Mr. Baldwin which lands in his left hand perfectly. Mr. Baldwin apologizes for acting strange for the last couple of days; and we finally get Miss Lips's full name: Lulu Lotoya Lips. LLL?! Okay I laughed at that. Baldwin finally pops the question which Bea just has to point out to Milo. Miss Lips is so amazed and is about to answer yes; but Mr. Baldwin drops to his back and is in acute pain. Miss Lips asks what is wrong and Mr. Baldwin claims that usually when he was preposing that he is gassed from stress; but he feels gas free. However; Baldwin then deduces that he is going into labour. In other words; after almost three seasons of waiting; Mr. Baldwin is finally going to give birth to his baby that is inside of him all this time. YES! They finally paid off the angle! And it is near perfect in my own as everyone just plain stop on the music interruption. So yes folks; we are going to see the birth of a baby on a kids television show; on screen. I'm fine with that. So Guardian Cat finally speaks as Bo Gregory gets his contracted line in. GC orders Albert and Fimberly to get towels or he'll eat them. They bail and return with towels placed in front of Mr. Baldwin. GC wants Baldwin to remember the pre-natal breathing moves as Baldwin sort of gets it right. And now we push like we never pushed before as Baldwin does the most awesome and absurd pushing; which looks like me when I get the hardest stools possible and it takes forever to get them out because I'm morbidly obese.
So we get the pep talk for the final push as Baldwin is sweating like Oscar as it's now AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark); and Baldwin pushes really hard and we get the angelic light of death as it lights up Bud's Pet Shop and then it goes up over the sky as I discover that Bud's Pet Store is in Hollywood California. When the light clears; we head to the beach as the kids are holding towels and towels of baby seahorses. Jumbo Shrimp points out that seahorses can give up to 200 babies at one time; which is inaccurate. It's more in the range of 5-2,500 actually. Steve thinks babies are cool as Miss Lips is so happy that she sezs yes officially because she wants to have lots of children. So I'm guessing she have given up on being part of girl power now. Another thing: All the babies were born before they married and this is out of wedlock; so from a tech standpoint; all the baby seahorses are bastards. Good one Disney; good one. Not all that unusual in classic Disney either. Oscar thanks Guardian Cat for his help as GC apologizes for mistaking the diamond ring as his and tells them to ask next time. So we head to the airport as everyone boards with the babies and we see that Coach Salmons has arrived despite the fact that we never saw him until now. I'm not calling this a logic break because he might have gone to the island later in the day on his own. Cinema 101 at it's best; and this is easy to explain away. Jocktopus joins in as Baldwin and Miss Lips thank Bea and Milo for interfering in his life; for the better this time. Milo is happy as Bea pretty much admits that she's an asshole. Milo proclaims that he cannot wait to plan the wedding which causes Baldwin to panic. But Miss Lips doesn't mind as the Steves shake hands as the girls are crying and Koi is taking pictures in the background. We head inside the plane as the dorks are seated and Oscar is disappointed that they didn't get any treasure; but Albert claims that babies are the ultimate treasure as they squeal on the sky shot inside the plane and we heart fade out to end the episode at 21:15. Started off really slow; but it really paid off once Mr. Baldwin began to sing and earn his stripes as the best adult character in the series. And outside of Bea being an asshole; the finish was perfectly paid off as it should be. Anyhow; Mouse wants to start a babysitting service, but Snake sobs like a baby because she doesn't have a butt to sit the babies on. Mouse proclaims that butts are overrated. Nice to hear that madam. So call this **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the big angles in this series that mean something to me actually got paid off really well. Despite the slow start and Bea continuing to butt into people's business because she thinks she is untouchable (with all her stupid plans that make no sense of course); the whole angle was pulled off perfectly. The dork treasure angle was a pretty fun distraction and Guardian Cat was fine; but the middle of this played similar to Fish Talent Show which was okay; but nothing amazing. It wasn't until Baldwin took charge and sang a parody of Come Sail Away With Me from Styx (Oh come on guys! Outside of the lyrics; the soundtrack is the same song) when it finally picked up and paid off the two big angles of Baldwin/Lips finally getting engaged and also Baldwin having the babies inside of him at last. In one way; I was really happy at the result and it was booked correctly and Mr. Baldwin came off as completely likable in my eyes. Sadly; in another way, now that the angle is paid off, there is little reason to watch the show anymore. To be fair; there is still going to be at least two more Miss Lips/Mr. Baldwin episodes to come with Hats Amore; and also Assignment Babies; although the later one is more Bea/Oscar focused. It's also the next rant I'm doing along with Freshwater Five-O. So overall; this episode was very good albeit slow early on; but the last seven minutes of this was worth it in terms of a pay off. Now I might do the double shot tomorrow; but there is supposed to be freezing rain tomorrow which might cause power outages if it extends past the expiration date. If I decide to not do them; then I'll delay them until Boxing Day since December 23rd is the Goof Troop Christmas Special. I'm also doing Milo's Pony/Hare & Back Again along with The Brandon Bubble/JocktoPizza to conclude the Fish Hooks rants for 2013. I would like to do Hats Amore; but there is no video of it yet. So there you go; five more episodes to go. I'm planning to do Phineas & Ferb on January 2nd since I'm not back until at least January 6th to work in 2014. So......
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time!