Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The web master has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the web master and no one else. The web master has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at gweagle@eastlink.ca or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Fish Hooks
Camp Camp Rant
Reviewed: 05/27/2017
Kiss Kiss Lame Lame Damn Damn!
Well; we finally made it to the end of the road for this series and it was a rocky one to say the least. The final two episodes I am reviewing for this series are 22 minute ones featuring a lot of chaos and blunder. So we go camping again with the fish as the plot for this episode is this: The school along with Brandon Bubbler go to a camp, where Bea tries to get Bubbler to date her. (Wait; I thought Bea and Oscar have already agreed to date each other only at this point? So they are going to kill the relationship again?! Make up your minds already! It's not like your show is getting renewed anyway.) Meanwhile the kids try to escape the camp for go to the "Camp Crystal Waters" led by the sister of Coach Salmons, Savannah Salmons. Yeah. So how does thios episode fare? Let's rant on shall we...?
Camp Camp is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, C.H. Greenblatt, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards and direction were done by Derek Evanick and Diana Lafyatis. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.
We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Zip Lines. ) as Bud shows off his zip line skills and cannonballs into the pet store ground like a stupid idiot redneck would. Zoom into outside the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH with the fish school bus parked outside. Kids I see in the picture right now are Dan & Ann Chovie, Steve Jackson, Escarmargot, Albert Glass, The Lobster Nephews, Hugh Ediminston (You know this show is forgettable when even I had to go through one of my previous rant to figure out who he was), Tabathia and her cheerleading squad, Oscar, Milo and Headphone Joe. Logic break: Milo and Oscar on the opposite side of the screen in the closeup shot as Jocktopus and his dad hold hands. Joe is the Jay Leno President George Bush here as he gives them an ultimatium: Stay home or go in the bus. Milo is talking about riding the roller coaster as Bo Gregory shows up with clothes on a stick. Milo doesn't have to two clicks in the making of a clue of what summer camp is. Milo cheers on his purple backpack as Dumpy Muffins makes his contractual appearance. Sadly; this episode was released before Fish Vartan's debut, so we won't be seeing him in this episode. SAD~! Milo follows him as Bea comes in with her backpack as she basically admits that she has a new boyfriend; which shocks and horrifies Oscar. Bea then admits that it actually hasn't happened yet; but it's totally close and that's good enough for Bea...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Oh; here comes the BUBBLE HELICOPTER OF SWAY~! Everyone cheers except for Oscar as Shellsea and Fimberly show up. Whew; that's a relief...for the writers in case they need to amuse themselves yet again. Of course there is a limo attached to a rope pulled by the helicopter, which it's only purpose is to knock the scuba diver's statue. The limo door opens and it's Brandon Blubbler, boy pop fish star. Kiss, kiss, lame, lame! Apparently; Brandon's last name is Feldman according to Oscar and he points out that Brandon is supposed to have given up on being a pop star. Bea claims that he's back to being a pop star. Oooookkkkaaaayyy; whatever Bea.
Brandon asks "What up?"; I respond: "Stick them up!" Brandon shoves Oscar a bit and then cuts a promo about seeing signs in a cereal. Can anyone translate this from Bubble Pop English to Regular English because I want to know why I'm giggling at it?! Oscar is thinking the same thing too, so yeah. Bea's eyes are wide and she gets giddy...in bed. Brandon bails to find a seat for Bea as Bea pushes her cheeks and screams...in bed. Pfft; whatever Bea. Bea tells Oscar that she'll keep him posted on everything...in bed. Bea bails to find a seat...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Oscar sighs and goes to the bus as Jumbo Shrimp has joined us in the bus now. At least they didn't do the spot where they left Oscar nor Fimberly hanging like they did to Hoppo in Ghostrustlers; so I'm perfectly fine with this. We drive through the fish tank complete with TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as we see Mr. Baldwin using a 1986 crossjack to fix a 1986 tire on his 1986 Fishbox Car, while Miss Lips tends to the squidbabies who are now 1986 minutes old. Miss Lips waves as we cut to inside the bus with Shellsea sleeping, THE EVIL ONE~ having that money to buy someone off, Koi Fish sitting on the right with Oscar and Fimberly. Jump cut to Bea and Brandon holding hands...in bed. Why does anyone want to be friends with Bea? Because from where I'm judging, Bea keeps killing relationships and this would be the second time she has basically killed the Bea/Oscar relationship. She killed Oscar/Angela and nearly killed Baldwin/Lulu. She's a love killer~! Oscar sulks and somehow teleports to a seat in front of Koi with Milo looking out the window. That's logic break #2 for the episode in case anyone is watching. Milo is giddy as the bus drives up to an actual camping area with wooden lodges and a giant mountain (well; by fish tank standards) as we get logic break #3 for the episode: The camping area is above water and no one has water tanks. The bus opens and the water spills out as everyone gets out. Milo then starts protesting this outrage and while we don't see it yet, Oscar should have the "I told you so" face on. Don't worry; Kit from The Time Bandit is already on the case here!
Oscar pretty much explains it all and it takes fifteen seconds before the ding sound for Milo to get it. Jump cut to the top of the mountain as Coach Salmons (with the Camp Camp t-shirt on) does the most funniest yodeling of the "The Warriors" catchphrase ever as Mr. Mussels (with captains' hat on) is on a rope containing a zip line. Salmons jumps on Zeus Mussels and they come down the zip line and then Zeus uses his hands to run like a horse with Salmons on his back. That was something else. Salmons does a few flips and lands on his fins on the ground. Ta-da! Oscar is surprised; which confuses me because you would think it would be obvious as Salmons is hip shaking as he introduces himself as the head hancho of Camp Camp. Salmons calls this the campiest camp the calm has ever clamped as Milo laughs at the obvious poop joke. Salmons then cuts a promo about the difficulty of being a teenager, which apparently it's clear that Salmons has never grown out of so, he's speaking from experience here. So Salmons jumps onto the conveniently placed stage with a broken down Camp Camp banner as Salmons claims that Camp Camp is awesome. Oh; hello there cropped out Phirhana as we cue the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM as Salmon is sweating to the new Disney music as Salmon is trying to whip Zeus with red ribbon whips while Zeus is cosplaying the sun. I wish I was making this up; but I'm not. The untold guise of this is that Zeus and Salmons are having a relationship with each other. Still better than Bea/Oscar so yeah. Salmons replays the fruit lady spots from Baloo Von Bruinwald XIII; only wearing a pink fur coat. It's okay Salmons; you don't have to prove to me that you are gay. Salmons pokes Fimberly in the nose and calls her a stained little elf; which is a nice way of saying that she's a f*cker. Geez; what is everyone's problem with Fimberly? Just because she stalked some pop star years ago; doesn't mean she hasn't learned her lesson. Salmons flies into some of the most obvious stock footage of fruit ever seen. Again; this is supposed to idiot proof the off-modeling; but it takes away the organic nature of animating such stuff.
Jump cut to Salmon singing from the mountain tops as Zeus plays torches at night with Salmons and the kids sitting around campfires. Salmons uses a chainsaw to create a wooden bear model with a fish in his mouth. Ah; I see the day to night to day shot is still in effect here. Sadly; the punchline of the bear attacking Salmons doesn't happen. Jump cut to the horse sled riding; only Zeus is the horse mussel of this outfit. Well; we now know who wears the pants in the Salmons/Mr. Mussels relationship, that is for sure. Salmon has run out of rhymes; so let's steal some dance moves from The Weekenders cartoon to waste time. We finish the song after some dancing and Salmons cannot resist going all the way with the end of the song, so Zeus tells him to f*ck off. Everyone cheers them anyway because the song is over. Coach Salmons cheers and then we hear a voice as a pink salmon clapping at Coach Salmons singing. She has red lips, blue dress, golden ring earrings and brown curly hair. We discover that Coach Salmon's first name is Dicky. Geez; I wondered why we never found out about this until now?! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge! And to think; we accuse Dukey of having a turd sounding name?! Salmons cannot believe this and Zeus demands answers to this outrage. Jocktopus wants to know who is this woman as the woman salmon hugs Salmons so tightly that Salmons looks like a bludging boil ready to explode. Dicky reveals that her name is Savannah Salmons and she's his much older sister. How old? Old enough to be his mother. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Savannah Salmons is voiced by the late Jan Hooks (passed away in 2014) and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): She began her career as a member of the Los Angeles-based comedy troupe The Groundlings and in an Atlanta nightclub act called The Wits End Players.[3] From 1978-79, she appeared in Tush on Ted Turner's television station WTBS, which eventually became TBS.[4] She gained notice in the early 1980s on the HBO comedy series Not Necessarily the News.[5]
Hooks made guest appearances on Comedy Break with Mack and Jamie in the mid-1980s.[6] Hooks was considered for SNL in 1985, but was passed over by the show's producers in favor of Joan Cusack. After the show's 1985–1986 season was deemed a ratings disaster and put on the chopping block for cancellation, returning producer Lorne Michaels offered Hooks a contract in 1986, along with new recruits Dana Carvey and Phil Hartman, among others. They helped put the show back in the national spotlight. Her characters included Candy Sweeney of "The Sweeney Sisters". She performed notable impressions of Bette Davis, Ann-Margret, Betty Ford, Nancy Reagan, Sinéad O'Connor, Jodie Foster, Tammy Faye Bakker, Kathie Lee Gifford, Kitty Dukakis, Diane Sawyer and Hillary Clinton. Tiring of the stress of performing on a live show, Hooks left SNL in 1991 after being asked by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason to replace Jean Smart on the CBS sitcom Designing Women. Hooks played the role of Carlene Dobber for the final two seasons of the show. She appeared in several movies, starred as Dixie Glick in the series Primetime Glick, and the movie Jiminy Glick in Lalawood. She had a recurring role as the trashy Vicki Dubcek on 3rd Rock from the Sun, which earned Hooks an Emmy Award nomination. Hooks guest-starred on two Matt Groening-produced cartoons for the FOX Network: six episodes of The Simpsons between 1997 and 2002, as Apu's wife Manjula (although Tress MacNeille sometimes substituted for her, and eventually replaced Hooks),[7] and in Futurama (in the episode "Bendless Love" as the voice of a female robot named Angleyne).[8] She appeared in Pee-wee's Big Adventure as a know-it-all tour guide at the Alamo and made a cameo appearance in the 1992 movie Batman Returns as Jen, the Penguin's image consultant during his campaign to become Mayor of Gotham City.
She made two appearances on 30 Rock in 2010 playing Jenna Maroney's mother, Verna. She guest starred in a 2013 episode of The Cleveland Show called "Mr. and Mrs. Brown" in her last role.[8] She debuted on The Bill Tush Show in 1980. Fish Hooks was her DTVA debut, only appearance and final credit. She has 29 Acting credits, 6 Soundtrack credits, 14 Self credits, 3 Thanks credits and 31 Archive Footage credits to her resume. A couple of things: (1) How fitting that we have a character whose last name is the last name of this show? (2) This is for rant purposes the final tribute for this series. YAY! Savan (because it's easier to spell) calls Dicky terrible and squeezes the salmon even more to punish him. Wow; they found a way to inflict torture porn in every context possible, in one scene! That takes a sadist scummy genius to pull that one off! Savan stops and addresses the kids as she proclaims that she runs Camp Crystal Waters before blowing the whistle as we see the other island and it's not much different from Camp Camp outside of some fireworks, singing and bigger lodges that are painted. Yeah; not much difference here. Dicky does the Gruffi pose (what a jealous man Dicky is?!) as Savan walks off waving; but offers the fish to come to the other island to say hello, turning her babyface in the eyes of the audience. She then calls Salmon Dicky again; so it's clearly Coach Salmons' first name. Savan swims stage left to her camp and that is that. Salmon is so distraught by this that he bails with Zeus to have a lemon-scented bath together. Oh; and they can do whatever they like for the rest of the day. Do you get the feeling Dicky is jealous or what?! So we zoom out to see the fish tank where the islands are inside Bud's pet shop. It's BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as the fish are shooting the breeze in a PG way. The bandana fish is throwing a frisbee to Steve Jackson. The Lobster Nephews are rowing in a canoe; but get bumped aside by Jocktopus and Phirana in their canoe. Zoom out to Bea and Brandon sitting on the dock looking on from the water. Bea calls this place amazing and exchanges pleasure thoughts with Brandon.
Then as Brandon claims that he's real; two female fish (One pink and tall with a purple flower in her hair; the other is short and yellow with purple pigtails) wave at Brandon and want to get Brandon's autograph. Brandon wags the finger and goes over and signs an autograph for the fish as Purple Flower Fish is swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE. They claim to be number one fans and really, who doesn't...Okay; Bea is twiddling her thumbs and fins. Yellow fish literally takes a selfie with Brandon; don't care. We all know where this is going now. Brandon comes back as they exchange pleasure thoughts some more and Brandon cuts a promo about mirrors and Randon is too weird for him. Oh; I don't know, Randon would be even more fitting for this generation. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge! Bea blushes on cue as we head to a crescent moon night DURING HAPPY HOUR (You don't want to know since Dicky is around) as we pan down to the lodges as Bea is walking towards them and she's going to be in bed soon. And no; this is not a metaphor for suck; this is literal in this case. Bea points at a tree and there is Oscar with a flashlight. Thankfully; he's not looking for Bea, he's looking for an outhouse because he has to go to the bathroom. Ummm; outhouses do not have flushed toilets, so you are hosed there, pal. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Bea is glad to see him as she talks about what happened to her and Brandon, as she promised. Doesn't Bea realize that keeping her promise here only serves to kill this relationship further? Bea is the kind of character that even shallow people like me would think is way too shallow even by that low standard! Oscar asks if they are boy/girlfriend; Bea claims it's in between that as Oscar walks off right there as Bea tries to cut him off. Uh-oh! Oscar finally in his own way tells Bea that he doesn't want to hear about it anymore and Bea asks why. Yes folks; Bea is clueless as Oscar is about to call her out, but then bails to go to the bathroom. Bea I think got that as we end the segment nearly nine minutes in. This is fine so far.
After the commercial break; we head to morning with the white CC flag flapping in the middle of the lodges and a cock is crowing. The sun rises as we jump cut to the PA room with a closeup shot of a microphone and Dicky on it. There is a poster in the back that says Camp Fun; which I'm certain only one person in the room would sue right about now. Who would he be? TUNE INTO SOFT COPY TO FIND OUT~! The answer will surprise you. Not. Dicky brings out a trumpet and I wondered why he cannot just yell instead...and then he bashes the trumpet on the table. Why? Why not?! Then Dicky does his most overloaded and over the top morning promo on us. Apparently; everyone is sleeping in beds with fish bubbles of water and fish bowls. Why? Why not?! Fimberly of course takes her contracted abuse bump of doom here as everyone wake up and comes into center of Camp Camp protesting. Shellsea has the Gruffi pose on with the 0.2 Rock Lobster Yeti frowning face on. Oh; hello there Clamantha, didn't see you there until now. Clamantha has no idea where she is and Shellsea blows her off complete with OMG, because BS&P wouldn't allow her to say "Oh My God" and thanks to the internet, they can imply that until making it look so obvious. I cannot buy Clamantha as a "One Man Gang". Maybe "One Clam Grabber". POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...Dicky addresses the crowd and talks about rough nights and crying. Milo claims that he wasn't; so it's clear Dicky is projecting because Dicky changes the subject as it's time for some summer camp fun. Everyone cheers as we scene change to in the woods with Dicky leading the way with a wooden walking stick. Dicky compares it to life as it's one step at a time as everyone is not liking this at all. Oscar and Milo are sweating bullets on cue as we head to the top of the mountain with the zip line as Dicky and company are wearing black helmets. Remember earlier when Dicky and Zeus went down the zip line without helmets on? Now they are all wearing helmets for this sequence. I club BS&P! Dicky proclaims that we get through life by facing our fears. No word yet on the acceptance of fear, though...
Oscar is second guessing this as he's on the zip line and Dicky shoves Oscar stage left because Oscar has the zip line around his belly. I don't think anyone can call Coach Salmons a dick anymore; since his name is called Dicky. Too much slurping with Venis Enis Mussels. And yes; that should be Zeus' official booking name in this show now. It's actually a Tarzan pully system as Oscar is grabbed by Zeus (I'm using this name because that what I have been calling him since day one) as Oscar pleads for more ground. Dicky is being a dick as Milo is next and apparently, he's so far that he causes the rope to really sag like a V. If I find out that this doesn't happen to Koi; then screw you writers! Milo is stuck and twirling; allowing us to show Milo's asshole. Not just the ass, but the entire tunnel. Whoever drew this knew that ze was being let go and is now channeling a career in softcore pronography. Bea? Was that your doing? POW! OUCH! Ummm... Milo claims that he failed and Dicky believes in him. Then again; Dicky can believe that he can seal the deal with Venis Enis, so I'm not shocked. Milo is stuck and of course Shellsea comes in and bumps into Milo like a stupid idiot. See what happens when you don't let her get her beauty sleep, Dicky? Then Fimberly bonks Shellsea, as I smell the Newton's Cradle spot commencing. Of course; Fimberly would have done this anyway, because...you guessed it. Dicky wants them to do some bonding; because why not? It's not like the show wasn't longing for a Milo/Shellsea/Fimberly love triangle anyway. Still better than Bea/Oscar though. Shellsea is trying to get Milo's ass out of his face, struggling. Of course, Koi comes in, bonks everyone and that is enough for them all to make it to the other side. Yip; screw you, writers and your hate of gravity and physics. Scene change to more hiking as Dicky is now channeling Baloo from Paradise Lost; only with a goofier knife. Oscar and Milo are the only ones sweating bullets as Milo is now whining about the hikes. Dicky proclaims that this is the end of the hikes as then he hears giggling and he panics. He then brings out the binoculars out of nowhere...and...
...We head to the giant mountain of Camp Crystal Waters as Savan has her blue flag on top of the mountain. Savan is so happy to plant the flag and is proud of her campers and the campers chant Savannah in response. Dicky is so pissed off by this that he changes his mind and wants the campers to climb up the mountain. Geez; no wonder Savan is calling Salmons Dicky, then! What a dick Dicky is?! Everyone groans on cue as I suspected they would. Dicky scales the mountain and everyone can do it and they do as we scene change to the fire pit in the center of the lodges AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Dicky is playing is little purple ukelee, just being a dick as the kids are circled around the campfire. Phirana is no selling with the Gruffi pose, Koi is barely selling and everyone else is tired. And then Dicky tells them to do pushups while he sings! And he's surprised when Savan calls him Dicky?! Bea goes over to Brandon who is talking to the Freshwater Cheerleaders and asks if he wants to sneak out into the wood and walk and hold hands. Keep in mind that none of them took part in the actual hike. So Bea obviously knows how to opt out of Dicky's dickish behavior, making everyone else look like stupid idiots. Brandon would love to; but the cheerleaders don't want him to leave yet because they want to know what Fish Europe looks like and if fish in Fish France shave their pecks. Brandon does the "my bad" apology (which R-Truth stole later in 2015/2016) and did promise them. Okay. Bea stammers and bails as we jump cut to Oscar looking at the campfire. Bea comes over to Oscar and they do nothing. Probably for the best since Dicky's dick singing is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. Dicky finally stops and walks away proclaiming that it's time for bed and he'll see them in the morning. Milo blows it off as we scene change to inside a lodge with Milo, Oscar, Jumbo Shrimp, Randy Pincherson and others. Milo proclaims that this is no fun at all and no way to spend a summer. Maybe not; but I'm having fun mocking this, so there you go. The fish all agree as Milo wants to run away from Camp Camp. You're on an island, you stupid idiot!
Oscar asks where to go and Milo points out that they can go to the other island called Camp Shiny Sparkles...ERRR...you mean Camp Crystal Waters, you stupid idiot! Which if you recall, Savannah doesn't seem to mind visitors from Camp Camp. Milo of course calls the place too as Oscar thinks this isn't a bad idea. Yeah; because Savannah basically had no issues with them being on her island...which we all know it's to Stick It To The Dick~! POW! OUCH! Ummm... Coach Dicky Salmons everyone. SLAP! OUCH! Ummm... Everyone agrees to it of course and we go out with flashlights and a lot of knocking and getting out of lodges ensue. Milo goes over to Bea's lodge as there are lights on as Bea is at the window. Bea basically is like "sure, why not? Anything to get Brandon to hold hands with me again." as she bails to get Brandon while Milo tells her to meet them at the docks. So everyone except Bea and Brandon are at the docks as Milo is now sweating like a dork. In front of Oscar. The boats are packed with stuff as Milo proclaims that as soon as Bea arrives, they leave. And then Dicky and Zeus arrive with flashlights. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oops! Milo's weaseling is so stupid that I will be surprised if Dicky doesn't fall for it. It involves getting a carton of milk...Oh; he didn't fall for it. How hilarious is it that the gay couple figured this out before even I did?! See; only heterosexuals are stupid in DTVA shows. Unless you are Mr. Baldwin. Shellsea says maybe and Dicky starts sobbing like a baby; wondering what he has done with my life and runs off stage right. Zeus throws his captain's hat down and blows off the kids for causing this. Milo asks if it's because they were leaving and Zeus says no. It's because they are leaving because they are leaving for Savannah and we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! The B&W flashback's guise of it is that Savannah and Dicky are in competition with each other and Dicky has always lost. Oh; and a narrator is narrating this. I guess even BS&P felt that Zeus narrating this would cause problems.
So after some "sole" searching, he became the head of Camp Camp and he was happy again, until Savannah arrived on her tugboat towing her island of Camp Crystal Water to compete against him once again. It's clear Dicky paid off the narrator because she called Savannah a no good fish during this as in 1986, there was a contest which Savannah won with ease and her camp was number one in the universe. You mean, fish universe. Show some consistency for a change, show! Dicky is horrified as he looks out the window as rain is pouring. So in other words, Dicky is a loser. Why should I care about him when he's basically acting like a slave driver to the kids? So we return to reality (no, not really) as Zeus is now crying and proclaims that this is why he pushes him so damn hard so they don't feel sad and embarassed. I'm sorry; but I have no sympathy for people like that. If Dicky wants to end this drama, stop trying to compete and just be yourself. Who cares about Savannah anyway? All this does is make Savannah want to push her campers harder because Savannah doesn't know (and/nor care) that she has nothing to prove anymore. She's the scoiopath in this outfit. Stooping to her level only makes her stronger. It's time to accept that maybe there's more to life than a zero sum game. Zeus walks off claiming that Dicky has lost again as we jump cut to Bea knocking on the lodge log wall for Brandon. Personally; I'm glad Bea is doing this because this will be better than Dicky's sob story that I don't care about. However; Brandon has disappeared from his lodge. Bea is concerned and walks into the woods to look for him. Bea deduces that Brandon is at the docks; but that is shot down as we hear Brandon giggling and talking as he's talking to a green haired fish. He's cutting the same type of nonsensical song line promos he cut on Bea as Bea looks on from the bushes. Bea is shocked, appalled and horrified in that order as apparently, the green fish's name is Nicole. She's impressed and Bea is so crushed by this that she bails away stage right. That ends the segment almost seventeen minutes in. Okay; this episode is falling apart; although Dicky's character is dying even more so.
After the commercial break; everyone sits at the campfire (except Bea and Brandon of course) as sad guitar music plays while the campfire is smothering. Everyone feels like a sack of garbage just because Dicky cannot win against Savannah. Okay; I commend them for doing this simply because it does show some humanity in them, but to call this beyond the pale horrible makes Dicky look like the sadder sack of garbage and that's isn't what you want when you are trying to book a sympathy angle. Milo wonders if there is anything that can be done as the Chovie Twins want to console him. And to think; that's the most reasonable and empatheic way to handle this, at least in the short term. However; I know where this is going: Milo and company are going to issue a challenge to Savannah Camp Camp VS Camp Crystal Waters in a race to see who is truly the most fit camp and that's how Dicky wins his heat back. However; Milo's plan is this: Go over to Camp Crystal Waters and sabotage it so it's lame. Oh; screw this crap! If you want to make her lamer then just issue the challenge. Oh wait; I know. It's because they are losers like Dicky, which makes Dicky look even worse. So; no shock, everyone agrees with Milo on this and everyone bails stage left. Oscar then notices debris coming down from a tree as he looks up to see Bea sitting in a tree sulking. Oscar climbs the tree and sits beside Bea as they make small talk. Bea admits that she was so stupid is thinking that believing is enough to get what she wants, but Brandon really loved the attention instead of actually liking her. Well; you could say that, Bea...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Oscar claims that he does stupid stuff all the time, which Milo make a list, but then got concussed and doesn't do that crap anymore. Wait; so the Milo Moments are because of the kitchen sink? That is so...tragic. Oscar claims that everyone is stupid; which is an insult to one hundred percent of the audience. No, Oscar; people do stupid things, they are not born that way. They can become stupid; but that's because the majority of what they do is stupid. It's like being evil. People do evil things, they are not born that way. They can become evil, but that's because the majority of what they do is evil. Bea hugs him anyway as they look at the smelly fish in the moonlight. Very smelly fish if this stupid horrible plan comes to fruition Oscar is bored, so he asks Bea if she wants to trash Camp Crystal Waters to make them feel better about themselves. Bea agrees to it of course and they head down the tree. Dammit!
So we scene change to a foggy night with the canoes rowing with the teenager fish all heading to Camp Crystal Waters with camp lamps. Everyone makes it to the island as Milo coordinates the troops as they rearrange poster signs, bring down a flag and replace it with an orange flag called Camp Butt. Jocktopus tosses lodges onto roofs; and somehow causes no damage whatsoever. Randy Pincherson destroys a flower. What an weakass asshole. Trashcans get toppled as this is slowly turning into a riot as Albert and Jumbo Shrimp come over to Milo to inform him that they found something. The boys bail as Clamantha topples a trash can. The boys head into the conveniently placed Mess Hall and notice the "#1 Camp In The Universe" trophy as Milo steals it from the table. Jump cut to Dicky and Zeus in their office sulking as Milo is screaming and banging on the door; as it's morning. Dicky answers the door (which I wish he didn't) and is surprised that they are back. Milo presents Koi with the trophy to present to Dicky with and yes, the trophy is made of gold. And no surprise; Dicky instantly notices that it's Savannah's trophy. Okay; now I officially have sympathy for Coach Salmons now. Not because he's a jealous gay fish; but because his charges are replusive vandalizing, assholish thieves! Dicky sees the Camp Butt via the binoculars and is appalled by this, gaining more sympathy. So yes; their plan to make us feel sorry for Dicky, was the eliminate all sympathy from the charges. Jumbo Shrimp is acting like a smugass. Bo Gregory basically confesses that they knew about the story and Dicky demands to know who was telling their story as Zeus panics and backs up into the house. Uh-oh! I will say this; what happens next really made me laugh because it's so Kit Cloudkicker from It Came From Beneath The SeaDuck: Milo confesses that they did it to help him and as he is saying this, Savannah shows up right behind him just as Milo calls her a meanie. Grab enough rope to hang yourself, dood! Then Milo turns around, sees her, panics while frailing his arms and he bails stage right. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Savan asks if it's ture and Dicky finally confesses his jealousy to her. Savan never thought that they were competing against each other; so she's even more clueless than Bea considering Brandon. Savan claims that she's not trying to destroy him; she wanted to hang out with him because Dicky is the fish version of The New Day. Awww! My heart melted! And all it took was trashing her camp. Awww! Can this be dripping with anymore sarcasm then it already is?
So that's why she moved the camp over to her island as she grabs the trophy and does an awesome hammer throw with it as it crashes through a glass window in the pet store. Dicky and Savan are so happy now as Dicky calls her the best sister in the entire universe and they hug. Everyone goes "awww"; and I betcha that the Dicky will stop selling and order them to clean up Camp Crystal Waters. I check the video...Zeus sobs like a baby..and damn; I'm almost good because they do clean up Camp Crystal Waters, but it was done willfully by the kids. Oh well, at least they paid the consequences for their actions, so they got their heat back. So the strongest fish do a tug-of-war to bring the CCW to CCD (Camp Camp Dicky) and everyone gets along better than the entire Get Along Gang. Jump cut to Bea and Shellsea talking to each other for no reason as Brandon finally arrives (the only person who didn't vandalize anything, making him the only fish with a clue. Ponder that for a moment.) and asks if she wants to go walking while he does a rap about dental fillings. Bea nicely no sells the deal and waves goodbye claiming that she'll see her later. Wow; Bea handled that like an adult fish. That's a good thing, thank you very much. Brandon walks off disappointed as Shellsea demands answers to this change of heart. Bea claims that Brandon's great and all; but he's the wrong fish as we see Oscar bumping and losing firewood sticks. He looks down and then sees Bea and waves at her. So yes; the relationship with Oscar is back on, for good this time. So we end the episode with the students looking at Savannah and Dicky's dueling ukelee stage act. Dicky calls this the happiest summer of his entire life, and after that promo, who can argue? Savannah seconds that emotion and they laugh. That was funny in fact. The students didn't think so, but screw them. They have no sense of humor. We then end with them playing the most funniest campsong I have ever heard. Now they are like Kane/Undertaker in that they like each other, but are still unwillingly competing with each other to see who will make the students fold their tents first. Hey; they deserve it for trashing Camp Crystal Waters, so why not?! Zeus is on cymbals and he sucks at it so much that I want Hulk Mussels to run in and legdrop him. Everyone covers their ears and Jocktopus runs off as we see it's now called Camp Camp Crystal Waters on the purple flag and that ends the episode at 21:20. Well; this was a fun episode and even though I wasn't all that thrilled about Salmon's jealously; the right booking decisions were ultimately made and we got an instant classic in the end. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Okay; the second to last episode of the series turned out to be a really cool and fun episode for the most part. The whole Bea/Brandon/Oscar love triangle was fine as it was and it ended pretty much as well as I could have hoped while maintaining continuity and not make Brandon look weak in the process. Most of this was your typical camp trashing episode; which thankfully didn't turn into Love Loaf. Personally; had they not trashed the campsite; I wouldn't have gotten my sympathy back for Coach Salmon who acted like a dick and Zeus did it no favors. The finish and ending were great, I will concede that and there was some really funny moments along the way and I enjoyed it. I couldn't ask for anything more here. And Dicky got his heat back, so that's a plus in itself. One more episode to go and it's time for the fish to finally move on from High School. Woo! So...
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you all next time!