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Fish Hooks
Hats Amore!/Algae Day Rant
Reviewed: 05/13/2017
Chovies Amore! Baldwin's Busted A Hat Day!
Hello kiddies; welcome back to Fish Hooks season three as I finally complete the series and then move on with my life. Again; I'm nothing if I wasn't a completeist and it's time to complete this show once and for all. So today's episodes feature Miss Lips meeting her parents and Baldwin trying to gain approval as Fimberly might in fact get her one shining moment in the sun. I know this is absurd, but it might just happen. Don't laugh; I'm not joking here. Stop laughing! I'm not making a funnie here! Then we have a snow day as Milo wants to play outside with his friends; but his friends want to watch television, so Milo is forced to be friends with Ann and Dan Chovie. Why yes kiddies; we have a Fimberly focus episode and a Chovie focused episode. Isn't this so lovely?! So; how do this episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we...?
Hats Amore! is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, C.H. Greenblatt, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards and direction were done by Neil Graf, C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss. Algae Day is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, C.H. Greenblatt, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards and direction were done by Kyle Carrozza, Derek Evanick and Diana Lafyatis. Kyle Carrozza according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Kyle Carrozza was born in Catskill, New York.[1] As a little kid, Kyle was influenced by many cartoon shows on television, mostly Bob Clampett's Looney Tunes. Most of the cartoons he watched were inspirations for his own drawing style. Shows such as Beany and Cecil and Garfield helped influence his drawings. He also got into anime in 1996 while he was at high school and particularly enjoyed watching Ranma 1/2 and Project A-ko. Several of his animation influences were from Bob Clampett, Bruce Timm, Doug TenNapel, Jhonen Vasquez, Tex Avery, Ralph Bakshi and numerous others.[2] During his summer times when he was a teenager, he attended several drawing classes titled "Center for Character Animation" where he studied under famous cartoonist Brian Mitchell. Mitchell taught him most of the things he never got at school. He graduated from Catskill High School in 1997 and in the Art Institute of Philadelphia in 1999.[3] During his senior year in high school in 1997, he was invited to visit StarToons; a defunct-animation studio in Chicago, Illinois and met the studio owner Jon McClenahan who criticized his drawing work online when he sent him fan letters (along with Ren & Stimpy creator, John Kricfalusi). He worked on the famous Warner Bros. series Animaniacs in StarToons doing some cleanups and in-betweens for the Slappy Squirrel cartoon, Bully for Skippy, for two days. The work on Animaniacs helped his animation and cartoon ability grow. He was offered a full-time job but passed it down because he already accepted a full tuition scholarship to the Art Institute of Philadelphia.[4] Recently in an interview, Jon McClenahan stated that Kyle's work for the show was possibly re-done, which may be the reason why he wasn't credited.[5] After graduating from the Art Institute in 1999, the college send his portfolio to the defunct CD-rom studio Funnybone Interactive in Canton, CT.[6]
He worked as a character designer, 2D animator and voice actor in the studio. He worked on proposed CD Roms never made and mostly worked on the JumpStart CD Roms. He was dismissed in 2001 as the company decided to drop 2D graphics in order to favor completely 3D games. He moved back with his parents' place because of that.[7] During his time in Funnybone, Kyle did some animation for a cartoon short called "Da Heist" for the American animation studio, Fantasimation Inc. located in Levittown, New York[8][9][10] He also storyboarded the opening sequence for the non-licensed children's concept, Kappie the Kangaroo, at the same studio.[11][12] Kyle's hiring may be due to the fact that Brian Mitchell, who Kyle studied over the summer, was the owner of the studio.[13] However, Brian Mitchell stated that since Mitchell left the studio around the time, he never saw Kyle at the studio but remembered that Kyle was working at Funnybone at the time the projects were in production.[14] Kyle did not have much luck until in 2005 where he pitched "MooBeard the Cow Pirate" to Nickelodeon and Frederator Studios for their then-upcoming series, Random! Cartoons.[15][16] One of his friends, who was a crew member on My Life as a Teenage Robot told him about the fourth season of Oh Yeah! Cartoons needing new shorts. After several storyboards, he got the greenlit. He did the final storyboards, key poses, character designs, voice direction and provided the voices of "Ungus the Unpleasant" and the "Cow Eating Gentleman".[17] Since this was his first TV job, he gave the directing position to Jeff DeGrandis who not only was pitching his own short "The Finster Finster Show" but also directed The Shnookums and Meat Funny Cartoon Show on Disney which was his favorite as a kid and influenced his style.[18] The short finally aired on Nicktoons Network on December 6, 2008. During Moobeard, he did some storyboard revisions for Catscratch, a series on Nickelodeon created by one of his favorite and inspirational artists Doug TenNapel who was also working on two Random! Cartoons shorts "Solomon Fix" (done in computer animation) and "Squirly Town" (done in traditional).
After Moobeard, Kyle later did some storyboards for the second season of Fanboy & Chum Chum, another series from Random! Cartoons. He also did the character design for Metalhead in the Nickelodeon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series. His final work with Nickelodeon was as a storyboard artist for The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water before leaving for Cartoon Network. He did some storyboards for two Disney television series: Fish Hooks and Doc McStuffins as well as additional Flash animation for Doc McStuffins. He did a short in Flash animation called "Ralphy Panda in Half Baked Ditz" which premiered in Comedy Channel's Atom TV shorts block.[19] He storyboarded several episodes of Danger Rangers in PBS. He returned to Frederator Studios for a short period in which he did storyboard revisions for the Bravest Warriors episode "Catbug". Kyle's new animated series Mighty Magiswords finally premiered on Cartoon Network Video and Cartoon Network Anything on May 6, 2015.[20] Kyle also provides the leading voice of Prohyas in the show and does the voice of the announcer who says all the magiswords names in the show, as well as numerous other voices. This show also stars Grey DeLisle as Vambre, Princess Zange and other voices. The series was billed as the network's first original web series. He created the characters in high school in 1996 and pitched it between 2005–2007 under two different titles; "Legendary Warriors for Hire" and a matured-adult concept called "Dungeons and Dayjobs" until Cartoon Network picked it up. 15-micro shorts have been created for the CN Anything app in which the players have to decide which Magiswords the Warriors choose to continue the next scene. On June 13, 2016, it has been confirmed that the series is picked up for a full-fledged TV series, which premiered September 29, 2016 on Cartoon Network in the United States. 10 3-minute shorts premiered throughout 2015 and currently, 5-minute shorts, which bear the same continuity as the TV series, are premiering. Character vlogs, which involve the characters on the show communicating to the audience in a vlog-style, are also premiering as well.
Since the series was greenlit to a TV series, more designers and artists are on board in the show. His wife, Lindsay Smith, is a character designer on the show and provides the voice of the characters Witchy Simone and Lady Hiss, among additional characters. Famous comedy musician Luke Ski who is a co-host on his and Kyle's podcast "Kyle and Luke Talk About Toons", also works on the show as a storyboard revisionist, writer and voice-over actor, providing the voice of recurring character, Skullivan. The majority of the TV series episodes are written by Mr. Lawrence, who provides the voice of Ralphio on the show. Animation director and storyboard artist, Ken Mitchroney, serves as the supervising producer of the series as well as providing additional voices. David Baron, an artist on Tumblr and deviantArt who collaborated with Kyle on his webcomic "Frog Raccoon Strawberry", does some character designs for the show. The series also gained a cult following due to the involvement of Danny Sexbang, who provided the lead vocals of the theme song alongside Kyle and Arin Hanson who frequently voices the character, Gateaux on the show. Cartoon Network has reported that 400 pieces of original content will be released including interactive shorts, games and interactive narratives. His music was inspired by famous artists Weird Al Yankovic and Dr. Demento. In 1990, Kyle discovered They Might Be Giants. Their unique style made Kyle want to start recording his own music. He was inspired by Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?. The show featured a group called "Rockapella" who performed rock songs using only their voices. Kyle got a stereo out and began recording some simple a capella musical pieces adding two more "tracks" by playing another stereo while recording.[21] Gradually, Kyle taught himself how to play the piano just enough to play the musical ideas floating around in his head. A few keyboards and an accordion later, Kyle was all set to record. Using a stereo with two tape decks (and later a karaeoke machine), he recorded his weird little songs from high school through college.
When he was 16 in high school, one of his songs "Bob from Accounting" was played in Dr. Demento's show. He even got to perform live portraying Bob in said song with musicians Conehead Buddha. In 1999, He developed his first ever CD; "You Know What? No!" on mp3.com which is featured in his album "Pencil Test" as well as an updated album "Why Fiddely?" which was made after he gained a computer for his 21st birthday.[22] He is now currently recording his own solo songs for The FuMP and his own Bandcamp website as well as making occasional live performances and collaborations with other FuMP members. While working at Funnybone, he started his comic book series Clare's Stupid Life for Antarctic Press. It has since gone on to become a 6-part series for Radio Comix's long-running comic anthology Furrlough. Clare was recently voted the ninth most popular comic feature in FURRLOUGH'S 140+ issue history.[23] He also did some work on the comic series, Ninja High School for the same company. He also did a comic titled Frog Raccoon Strawberry on Dumm Comics from 2008 up to 2014 because he and his animator friend, John Berry, were too busy on production with Magiswords. He also did graphic drawings and designs for Kee Kee Koki; a Spanish comic created by Looney Tunes artist and cartoon director, Dave Alvarez. He even created some characters for the comic series and even original designs. He also worked on the ABCmouse.com website for a year. He is also a freelance artist at the time, offering services to many clients and some graphic designs for some artists. Wow; just wow. I think we see a new record here for a non-voice tribute. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.
Hats Amore!: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Pony Rides. In that store? FACKING BULLSHEET~! ) as Bud is riding on a coin operated rocking horse pony while humming. and then gets his ass kicked by a horse kicking him in the ass and he goes flying stage left, crashing off-screen. HAHA! Then the horse is riding on the coin operated rocking horse; which begs the question: "Isn't this horse cruelty?" Never mind, this is my first episode in the New Disney era since Gravity Falls, so I'm rusty. Don't get me wrong; the joke makes sense with the scene, but whatever. So we zoom into a fish tank and head to a stadium called Freshwater Downs, which is basically the show's version of horse racing, only it's fish on seahorses. Of course! Into the foreground comes Coach Salmons wearing a Kirby's Epic Yarn hat with a purple rose in it addressing the crowd. Today is apparently hat day at the track; which isn't as absurd as it sounds since we see the same thing in hockey. Although; I wonder when horse racing fans would throw the hats; ala hockey fans throwing hats when a hat trick is scored? Zeus Mussels shows up in another yarn hat with cyan blue rose claiming that they wear manly hats; which means that the hats are more macho than they are. Do you sense a gay relationship forming here between these two? I hope this happens. So we introduce the area and show the crowd, which is one area Toon Boom has excelled in as we are racing for glory, honor and those goofy hats. Apparently; the hats are a form of currency in this setup. Why? Why not?! In comes Bea, Shellsea, Albert, Koi, Milo and Oscar as Albert is wearing a cute widdle bunny hat. I could hug him and squeeze him and call him George...POW! OUCH! Ummmm...Shellsea trumps all but Albert with a butterfly in her hat; but Milo trumps all by making a hat literally out of money. HAHA! When Milo's around, the definition of moneyhat is literal, not figural. Milo calls it the Dollar Fud Hollar (I think); which isn't as funny as moneyhat; but whatever. Apparently; it took Oscar ten hours to make this hat, because Milo is lazy and I shake my head.
Speaking of Oscar; his hands are on fire, because he used flammable glue. Sadly; fire can be present in water under the right conditions, so this isn't all that bad, logic breaking wise. Shellsea of course no sells it anyway along with Bea as her hat is hot. Your scoiopathy is much hotter than that it seems as Fimberly is wearing a beanie propeller hat. Let's see how long it takes before Fimberly takes a bump and thankfully, there's no bump. Shellsea says Nega and Fimberly panics on cue. Salmons swims around as Oscar looks nervous with that viking hat on. In from the entrance comes Miss Lips (with sunflower hat) and Mr. Baldwin (with no hat because he's more clueless and awkward than Miss Lips. Ponder that for a moment.) as Baldwin is miserable for some unknown reason. Miss Lips asks why because she gets to meet her parents as Baldwin is sweating and terrified about it because he's more socially awkward than Miss Lips and Nintendo Switch's Caron combined. Miss Lips sees Mr. and Mrs. Lips (a brown squid and a pink squid wearing a brown shirt and tie, along with a black dress and pearl necklace) wearing the smallest hats they could find and look stoned for some reason. They are parroting each other and don't like Baldwin of course, because REASONS. Miss Lips does the Gruffi pose and admits that they don't know what they are saying. Actually; they know what they are saying; they just don't know WHY they are saying it. Baldwin pleads for approval because he has admirable average qualities, which I think sounds fair to me. Although; that giving birth to seahorse babies out of wedlock is usually a deal breaker for most bigoted parents, sadly. Baldwin states that Miss Lips and him like each other, but the parents don't like him and don't care to tell them why. Baldwin decides to bail to get a hotdog as Miss Lips's nickname is Lulu, which is meh. Miss Lips doesn't want anything; except to deliver eye contact violence to her parents. Jump cut to a binocular shot of a strongman fish with green hair and body, in a striped white/cheese shirt doing exercises in the center of the racetrack. Apparently; Shellsea was spying on a sailor and she thinks he's hot. Pfft.
He looks really green under the gills there, Shellsea; and I don't think he's your type. Which even you admitted when you claimed that he is hot. Fimberly is making noises and grabs the binoculars to look at the sailor. She is giddy and now Bea is making noises and wanting the binoculars. She grabs them and notices Fimberly running down from the stands and heading in the direction of the sailor exercising fish. Bea asks what is she doing and Shellsea don't care. I know what she is doing; she's doing this because the writers want her to take a nasty bump and get runned over, because she's the Meg Griffin of the show (Although; when I wrote this rant, Family Guy was finally slowing down that angle to a crawl.). I should point out that the ground appears to be brown carpet that I have in my house. She's also showing her asshole right directly at the hard camera. Not just the ass, but the entire tunnel. And in a no shock of many no shocks, Fimberly gets run over and flatten flatter than Alexander the Grape. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! Fimberly is helped to the side and she stops selling pain literally seconds later. Well; that is an improvement at least. Fimberly was trying to help Shellsea get a date with the sailor fish and Shellsea blows her off because she's an independent woman who needs no help from a bump machine woman like Fimberly. I think we can all agree with this sentiment. Fimberly whines and then bails stage left saying that she cannot do anything right. I betcha twenty dollars that this never gets paid off; because Fimberly is a doll for the writers to play with at this point. Shellsea and Bea agree that Fimberly is having a rough day and Shellsea wants to give her a hat. Ummm; I don't think that is going to work as the two fish of doom go to the Fancy Hats booth with a fish in brown hair and wearing a blue hat on the right side of her hair is at the booth. Shellsea asks for a hot hat for Fimberly because she has low self-esteem. So we go through the hats for a while which include a diving helmet, a knight helmet and a mining hat. Shellsea no sells all the choices as the hat woman is just making noises and not speaking. A great promo if you can't talk.
So this goes on and on and on; and finally the hat woman bursts into flames and explodes. Pfft; whatever. It's clear that Shellsea did this just to make her explode because she says afterwards that this is hot; which Bea points out the obvious flaw in her scoiopatheic mind. In comes Oscar and Milo as Milo proclaims that the best thing about the races is eating their fine hotdogs. Or course! I hate to accuse Milo of being a cocksucker; but eating a hotdog is close enough to make that accusation. The worst part is the line as we see a massive long line at the hotdog stands. Apparently; one of Jocktopus' bully friends is in the line with Mr. Baldwin at the end of said line. Wah-wah-wah! Milo notices Baldwin and does the "Wazzz Up!" promo; which is less impressive now thanks to the Dudley Boyz, because it has to be done before the victim gets low blowed. Sadly; Baldwin doesn't do a low blow to Milo and we just exchange notes on the situation. Milo thinks Baldwin is so cool; which is a lie in itself. Memo to Milo: Remember that Disney's marketing is 100% in making adults look uncool; because according to their (junk) research, kids just want kids in the main event and just want comedy. That's the law of the exec and no one dares break it, because getting blacklisted is far worse, then being fired at this point. Milo decides to help Mr. Baldwin look cool in front of his mother and father as we see an orderly wheel a burned out seahorse on a gruney yelling "seahorse down" with sirens in the foreground. I'm shocked that they didn't waste a minute here, since it would have made it funnier. Otherwise; it's just there to suck. We hear neighing in the background and did I mention that the grass looks like green carpet? Out comes a pink fish in a white shirt, blue tie and blue pants wearing a black hat with a megaphone addressing the crowd that they need a new seahorse racer. Wait; so the seahorse that was burned was actually the racer? Wait; what?! You know; what annoyed me here is that he repeats the line about looking cool in front of someone because that was not neccessary and it makes the main characters look fake since Milo would see this as cool without this bullcrap.
It makes the Milo Moments look geninue and not contrived is what I'm saying. The announcer is not picky and is desperate and he does the shifty eye spot to waste time; thanks the crowd and then bails. Pfft; whatever. Kentucky Derby anthem plays as Milo looks at Baldwin and Baldwin is already blowing this Milo Moment off. Sadly; we scene change to the sign up booth and Baldwin signs anyway acting like he cannot believe this. The guy in the sign up booth is fat with brown hair and a black suit as he goes on and on about impressing his beloved Sara, and addresses himself as Fish Vartan. Get used to it, folks; we will be seeing more and more of this fatass in this show soon enough. Fish Vartan is voiced by Vartan Nazarian and according to IMDB: Vartan's love for filmmaking began as a nine year old cadet at Southern California Military Academy in Long Beach where he acted in and directed a mock "Twilight Zone" episode for Parent's Day. Vartan is known for editing the documentary films (2007)_ and Waking Sleeping Beauty (2009) for the Walt Disney Studios. Earth is the second highest box-office grossing nature documentary of all time and Waking Sleeping Beauty was the last film that the late Roy Disney (Walt Disney's Nephew) participated in. Vartan is also known for Voice Acting the role of Fish Vartan (a Disney character inspired by and based on him) for the last five episodes of the Disney Animated series Fish Hooks (2010). He began his career in the editorial department working on Man's Best Friend in 1993. Pepper Ann is his DTVA debut and has worked on The Weekenders, Teacher's Pet, The 7D, and Penn Zero: Part Time Hero. Pink: A Lighter Shade of Red is his most recent credit. He has 25 Editorial Department credits, 2 Animation Department credits, 9 Editor credits, 3 Acting credits, and 2 credits each for Producer, Director, Writer and Camera/Electrical Department to his resume. Baldwin is shocked as Vartan wants to see the entry form; Baldwin gives it to him. What is the point of this if the race officials have already decided that he can enter?
So Vartan puts on blue rubber gloves on and proclaims that Baldwin needs a physical and a blood test as Baldwin is now sweating like Oscar. Speaking of two peas in a pod...there is a lot of laughter involved as Baldwin has the jackhammered background now and thinks this sadist laughing is going too far. Baldwin; this is the new Disney, where sadism is not only allowed, it's encouraged. Ummm; yah. As Fish Vartan would say as we jump cut to Salmons doing a segueway while dodging the seahorse sailors running on the track. Whatever turns you on, Salmons. Jump cut to Bea and Shellsea as Shellsea is blowing off Fimberly. Screw you, Shellsea! It's not her fault that the writers have turned her into a doll to play with instead of a character we can be proud of. Sure; Shellsea is a walking female stereotype; but at least she has actual agency. Shellsea claims that there is nothing hot in this stadium. Wow; even the hotdogs are cold to Shellsea. That's a terrible tragedy to say the least. Bea tells her not to give up. I'm sorry; but Bea hasn't done anything horrible or stupid enough for the "...in bed" references today. In comes a blond haired kid with a V-shirt wearing a Scooby Doo logo baseball cap with a purple B in front as Shellsea proclaims that it just walked by. Jump cut to kid holding an ice cream with I believe is his father wearing a white shirt, orange tie and blue pants; with a black hat. Shellsea comes over and asks for a price on the hat and the kid says it cost fifty bucks. Shellsea then simply steals the hat, the kid protests this outrage and Shellsea blows her off claiming that he will be a hero and tells him to suck it up. She claims that it's for chairty and the kid protests some more; and the father agrees with Shellsea. WHAT?! The father gives him the ice cream, blows him off because he gets enough grief from his mother and then walks off stage right. WHAT?! The boy eats the ice cream and looks at the hard camera; not crying. Man; that was one of the coldest scenes in the series and man, Shellsea's quality just took a nosedive with that segment. Kentucky Derby music plays for a while and then we jump cut to Fimberly at a fountain sitting down in tears.
I want to feel sorry for her; but the writers don't care about her, so why should I invest in a character whom the writers do not care about? Fimberly looks in the fountain and repeats the line that she cannot do anything right. Again; the writers made this possible, so why can't I feel sorry for her? Fimberly whines about no one loving her, caring about her and she's got the wrong hat as Shellsea and Bea come in and put the hat on Fimberly's really stupid beanie cap. So Fimberly wipes off the tears and Bea's promo is a good sentiment; but does really anyone care about Fimberly at this point? No? Then, this scene is just ineffective. Then we discover that it's a Brandon Blubber hat and two of Brandon Blubbers security guards come in and tell Fimberly she has to sing the Fish National Anthem. So yes; the country of Freshwater is simply called Fish. Fimberly is shocked and appalled; but Shellsea tells her to go with the flow. Hey; if that means she isn't used as a bump machine, I'm all for this. Fimberly is getting the immoral support from Bea and Shellsea and Fimberly is all for this because she has a hot hat. She then proceeds to do the funniest bad white trash rap I have ever heard before being dragged off by the security guards. Shellsea gives a thumbs up as we jump cut to the announcers' booth in the stadium as Salmon and Zeus Mussels are in the booth (decorated with green grass and pink roses) ready to start the race as Zeus Mussels cannot resist talking about ordering a pizza. Salmons points out the doctor said and Zeus blows him off because he's the boss of Zeus. I see Zeus went to a quack doctor. I should note that the seahorses are in fact anthro seahorses and are sentinet and wearing matching clothes with the riders. I'm guessing this was done to please BS&P's animal cruelty rule invoked by PETA. Jump cut to the bleachers as we see Miss Lips with Mr. and Mrs. Lips as she is looking for her future beloved. Would it shock you that they don't care at all about him? Jump cut to Milo wearing the most ridocuklous horse riding outfit in history waving to the crowd while riding on Mr. Baldwin's back. So seahorses aren't allowed to ride on other seahorses? What bigots?!
Baldwin sweats and relucently waves to the crowd as Miss Lips notices him right away; and acts like nothing is wrong. Why doesn't that surprise me? Ditto for the parents' reaction as we head to the starting gates. Baldwin bonks into the starting gate number four as Baldwin calls this painful. Geez; he might as well call this bowling shoe ugly, too. So the guard drag Fimberly to the same stage one of the seahorses was on as the crowd cheers. They leave Fimberly with a microphone as everyone cheers anyway. Listen Disney; Brandon Blubber's audience doesn't exist here. Very few in Brandon's target demographic would be interested in horse racing. In fact; quite a few would be calling this animal cruelty. Just so you would like to know. Shellsea points to hat and reminds Fimberly about the hot hat, while Bea is encouraging her, but Salmons of course is doing running commentary just to ruin the moment. Stupid idiot! Zeus proclaims that he hopes Brandon doesn't screw up because his pizza is on the way in twenty minutes as Salmons is not happy to hear that. Why do I suspect Salmons is Zeus' doctor in storyline? Fimberly is shaking like a leaf; but recoils and decides to sing it as she does the Whitney Houston singing style of doom; which the anthem is basically the American National Anthem written with fish reference. Fimberly's singing was awesome; but the song itself was disappointing. The Fish National Anthem should be the Fish Hooks opening theme song, that makes more sense. This was the best scene Fimberly has...and then in comes a male purple seahorse with a pop gun (so yes; even starter pistols cannot be bullet shooting guns either.) and yellow sweater that says "FD" on it; knocking Fimberly down on the ground. Yes; we cannot go ONE F'N AWESOME SCENE without Fimberly taking a bump. Fimberly basically tells him to sod off; grabs the microphone and starts singing. Wow; this is the Fimberly protest show! TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues as Milo pats Baldwin on his bald head and Baldwin proclaims that he'll be cool for the love of lips. Which was funny as the starter's pistol pops it's cork and THEY ARE OFF... Sadly; Baldwin is so slow, he might as well be dead and last in that order. POW! OUCH! Ummm...Lots of cramping ensues as Miss Lips is absolutely loving this and Fimberly's singing is making this even more amazing. Milo is sitting on Baldwin's head now as Baldwin proclaims that he cannot do this. It's clear that they are booking this to have Baldwin simply finish the race; so I refuse to call it.
Milo double kicks Baldwin in the head and Baldwin suddenly goes faster and takes the lead. Wait, WHAT?! Even Zeus is surprised by this twist in the booking by the writers as the babyfaces think they have this in the bag; but then Baldwin blows his tail and they tumble onto the ground. You had one job, writers; just one job: Have Baldwin just finish the race, and....Oh; wait, Miss Lips is shocked and appalled as Baldwin is crawling towards the finish line and despite finishing last, he finished the race even though I never saw him actually crossing the line. Whatever; the video I'm using is cropped; so I'll forgive the booking on that since that was great. Miss Lips and the parents come down as Baldwin is upset that he failed; but Miss Lips doesn't care because he's first in her heart. Awww; my heart melted. Miss Lips finally explains to him that the reason they don't like him is because that is the only phrase they know. In other words; and I hate to use the phrase here, but Miss Lips just admitted that they are legit mentally retarded. What was the point of showing off Baldwin to the parents then?! They also don't speak English, they speak gibberish; which means that they are rednecks. What a shocker that is?! Lips grabs Baldwin and they walk away behind Fimberly as she finally finishes the song and that is that. Bea and Shellsea swim in amazed by Fimberly's singing as they hug. Then the security guard blow Fimberly's cover and Fimberly bails stage left; as the guard chases her because she inpersonating a celebrity and is going to jail. Okay; now I see why she had that restraining order on someone in a previous episode. Shellsea and Bea yell to Fimberly not to let them put her in jail because they'll rape her hat. I'm more worried about them raping her; but thanks for the sentiment Shellsea. So we zoom out to the far shot of the fish tanks to end the episode at...Oh wait; we end with Oscar at the line which is still pretty long. Oscar whines about never getting a hotdog and that ends the episode at 10:45 approx. Well; Fimberly's singing career was a short, but sweet one. Too little, too late for her though. Otherwise; this was a cute episode and there's nothing wrong with that. *** 1/4 (65%). The segment with Mouse and Snake is kind of funny as Milo and Oscar are in the water container as Milo is using it as a hot tub. Simple and to the point funny, if nothing else.
Algae Day: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Creepy Best Friends.) as Bud comes in, wipes some algae from the fish tank and eats it off his finger. That's not the gross part. The gross part is that he likes it and walks away. So we head to the algaican ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as Headphone Joe is scrapping algae off the school property with the smallest shovel he could find. I guess there is no hurry since they are half anthro and thus the fish won't die off so easily as in real life. It's literally snowing algae as we jump cut to a farm with a cow and Bo Gregory on a tractor shoveling algae. In the fish world; algae is like snow in real life, you see. There is a foot of algae (which is not said in "Fish Foot"; which means it's a literal foot of algae; which would bury most fish on this show); as the male and female announcer are exchanging words on this algae stuff while Salmons and Zeus Mussels are running near the Freshwater Park. Jump cut to Milo on his bed in his underwear (useless since the fish are still nude anyway) as the Freshwater School District is closed for the day. So it's an ALGAE DAY and I smell a jackhammering of the point home which causes Milo to take off the underwear and cheer for this no school. He upends the bed and then walks upstairs. Why? Why not?! I should note that the radio announcer is voiced by someone named Mark Thompson, but I'm not sure which Mark Thompson did the voice, so that's why there is no tribute for him. Jump cut to Oscar and Bea lying on the sofa watching television. Milo runs around all giddy and puts on a banana yellow coat on; which is not a good moment, let alone a good Milo Moment. He then tries to leave; but he then stops and bails. He returns with a sled and throws it out the tank because I hear glass shattering sounds as he is giddy to go outside and have a fun time. Oscar and Bea don't care what Milo does; but they aren't going outside. Milo is shocked, SHOCKED I SAY by this lack of committment to fun and exercise.
Let me tell you something Milo; if I had a snow day like you have an algae day, I would be lying down on the couch too. Okay; I wouldn't, I probably would be resting in my bed, or making up for lost time with a review on the internet. I'm just saying. Something about protecting his back and ass having something to do with it. Milo is wearing blue mittens as Bea is watching a hamster channel marathon and she likes hamsters apparently. Bea turns on the remote and we see the opening, which is called "Drop It Like It's Hamster". I'm guessing it's this world's answer to a prison rape joke; which is never going to be funny, so can it! So we see a bunch of hamsters being more annoying then iCarly and then they breakdance on cue even though there is a smartphone missing. Pfft; whatever. Alexis Hamster is voiced by Caroline Sunshine and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): In 2004 Sunshine started in theater and her stage credits include Annie Warbucks at the Orange County Children's Theatre, The Nutcracker at the Academy of Dance and South Coast Performing Arts, and Stage Door at the Lutheran High School of Orange County.[2][5] In 2006, Sunshine began going to professional auditions at the age of 11, and landed her first role in a commercial for Amazing Allysen the talking doll, as well as commercial work for Yoplait Go-Gurt, and Cap'n Crunch.[2][3][4] In 2010, Sunshine filmed her first pilot for the CBS sitcom, Team Spitz, co-starring as the teenage daughter of a high school coach played by Rob Riggle of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.[3][6][7] In the summer of that same year, she gained popular notoriety for her role as Barbara Winslow in her first feature film, Marmaduke, based on the comic strip of the same name.[3][4][6] In the fall of 2010, Sunshine landed what would become a co-starring role on the Disney Channel original series, Shake It Up as European exchange student, Tinka Hessenheffer alongside Kenton Duty as her flamboyant twin brother, Gunther Hessenheffer.[8][9][10][11]
The glitzy brother/sister duo of Gunther and Tinka is said to be inspired by Ryan and Sharpay Evans of Disney's High School Musical franchise.[11][12][13][14] She was a recurring cast member during the first season, but was promoted to a regular character for the second and third seasons. The series ended in November 2013. Sunshine appeared in the Disney Channel stars Christmas album Holidays Unwrapped; the album was released on New Years Day, she had a solo performance cover song of All I Want for Christmas Is You with featured as the tenth Song on the album. In 2014, Sunshine performed as the lead role of Campbell in the Non-Equity national tour of Bring It On the Musical.[citation needed] In June 2014 she filmed a Freeform pilot called Recovery Road based on Blake Nelson's novel of the same name, in which she plays a title role alongside Samantha Logan.[15] Neither Sunshine nor Logan would appear in the actual series, however. Logan was replaced by Jessica Sula and Sunshine's character was removed from the script. During 2015 Sunshine appeared in a TV Movie called Go Four Broke as Tiffani Brand. And earlier she appeared in the big screen production of The Outfield. She began her career on "What's The Word?" as herself in 2008. Fish Hooks is her only DTVA appearance. Mommy, I Didn't Do It as Sylvie Garrett is her most recent credit. She has 8 Acting credits and 10 Self credits to her resume. Girl Hamster #2 is voiced by Laura Marano and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Marano's first acting role was when she was five years old.[13] Since then, she worked for multiple productions at the Stage Door Theater[disambiguation needed].
She has appeared in numerous commercials and had small roles on Ghost Whisperer, Medical Investigation, Huff and Joan of Arcadia. Her bigger roles in television have been in Without a Trace and other shows. She played the child role of Keira Knightley's character in the film The Jacket and had a small flashback role in the film Superbad. She was a regular cast member on the FOX game show, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? and played the role of Gracie Carr on FOX's sitcom Back to You. Marano has since appeared in several episodes of The Sarah Silverman Program. Initially she was cast in the pilot episode, "Batteries", as the child version of Sarah Silverman, and the writers liked her so much they brought her back for a larger role as a girl Sarah coaches to win a beauty pageant ("Not Without My Daughter"). On the DVD commentary track, co-star Brian Posehn notes that Marano knew everyone else's lines better than they did. She also appeared in Dexter as the child version of Debra Morgan. She also played the child version of a character played by Diana Scarwid, Alice Shaw, sister of Angela Petrelli, on Heroes. In 2011, Marano starred as Ally Dawson on the Disney Channel series Austin & Ally.[14][15] In 2013, Marano recorded four solo songs and one duet with Ross Lynch for the soundtrack album Austin & Ally: Turn It Up.[16] "Me and You" debuted within the U.S. Billboard Kid Digital Songs chart at number thirteen before rising to the sixth spot, spending eleven weeks on the chart.[17] "Redial" debuted at number nineteen before peaking at number eighteen, spending four weeks on the chart.[17] Also in 2013, Marano recorded a duet with her Austin & Ally co-star Ross Lynch entitled "I Love Christmas" for Disney Channel's third holiday compilation album, Holidays Unwrapped.[18]
On November 25, 2013, the song was released as a promotional single.[18] On December 14, "I Love Christmas" debuted within the U.S. Billboard Holiday Digital Songs chart peaking at number fifty.[19] Marano sings, dances, and writes songs. She hopes to perform in stage musicals in the future.[20][21][22] In 2014, Marano voiced as Rachel in four episodes of Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja. She also appeared as Hammu in Fish Hooks and as Fangs in Liv and Maddie. Also in 2014, she appeared in a music video produced for British pop-rock group The Vamps and American singer Demi Lovato called "Somebody To You".[23] In March 2015, Marano stated that she had signed a record deal with Universal's Big Machine Records.[1] In the same year, Marano starred in Disney Channel's Original Movie, Bad Hair Day. The film was first released on February 6, 2015 on Disney Channel and had its premiere broadcast in the US on February 13.[24][25] She also starring as the young version of Amy in A Sort of Homecoming, which tells the story of a girl who returns to her home town in Louisiana from her career in New York City upon request of her high school debate coach. In flashbacks, she recalls her senior year, the politics surrounding debate competitions.[26] On January 10, 2016, Austin and Ally ended after four seasons.[27] On January 13, 2016, Marano debuted her own radio talk show on Radio Disney titled For the Record with Laura Marano. The weekly one hour show chronicles Marano’s journey as she launches her music career, featuring interviews with a guest star in each episode. The show also provides listeners tips on how one can pursue a career in music.[28] The show has featured various guest stars including Nick Jonas, Ariana Grande, Meghan Trainor, OneRepublic, and Troye Sivan. The first episode of the show, which aired January 12, 2016, guest starred her co-stars of Austin & Ally.
On March 11, 2016, Marano released her debut single called "Boombox" from her upcoming debut studio album. The music video for the single released on April 4, 2016 and accumulated over 6 million views in a week. The video currently holds over 42 million views. It guest stars actor and comedian Ken Jeong, along with his daughter Zooey, and was directed by Cole Walliser. On April 30, 2016, Marano performed the single at the 2016 Radio Disney Music Awards which aired on Disney Channel on May 1. Marano also performed the song on Today as Elvis Duran's artist of the month on May 31. On August 13, 2016, Marano announced that the second single from the album, "La La", would be released on August 25, 2016.[29] She began her career on Joan Of Arcadia as Emily in 2004. Fish Hooks is her DTVA debut and also appeared on Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja as Rachel, and Pickle & Peanut as Veronica. I'll Be Next Door For Christmas (Nicky), The War With Grandpa (Mia), and Lady Bird (Diana Glass) are her most recent credits. She has 36 Acting credits, 3 Soundtrack credits (Austin & Ally, Bad Hair Day), 1 Music Department credit, 1 Producer credit, 1 Misc credit (Finding Nemo) and 32 Self credits to her resume. Milo blows it off because it's all about dancing hamster who want to be famous. Considering that his former girl friend was a dancing hamster who wanted to be famous; that is hideously hilarious. Pamela Hamster, everyone. Geez; back when I had an absect in my asshole; I couldn't even remember characters in Fish Hooks, now I can somehow remember Milo's girlfriend now. My memories are so picky! Bea gleefully calls this not stupid because she wants to be famous. Of course! Milo points out that Oscar don't like this crap anyway; but Oscar don't care because in storyline, Bea and Oscar are as close to marriage as you can have without being married. Oscar admits that they are too old to be playing in such crap. In Milo's mind; this causes glass to shatter as he cannot believe this outrage. I can; it's called protecting myself from being crippled.
Milo blows them off and does the guilt trap of doom; but Oscar and Bea don't fall for it and I'm sorry Milo, but they have a point there. Even if it is for much more pettier reasons than mine. Milo slams the door and carries the sled claiming that he'll show them so hard that they will barf. I think there are a lot of moral guardians who see this show and do the exact same thing, Milo. So Milo claims that he'll find people to help him play with him as he knocks on the door and out comes Albert Glass to tell him that he has no interest and is watching squid movies with Jumbo Shrimp holding onto a bowl of popcorn. Houston, we have popcorn and Milo walks out sort of taking this one well. Milo then knocks on door and we see Jocktopus answering the door. You know Milo is running out of friends when he has to restort to asking the bully if he wants to play with him. Milo is doing some DX moves; but Jocktopus tells him no because Piranha made him promise her to spend time with together; and she is pissed off like she always seems to be. Jocktopus claims that he's talking to nobody and slams the door. Jump cut to Escarmargot no selling the deal on her door and claims that algae is kind of gross. Then you should be perfect for this role, you hypocrite! Escarmargot rubs her nose as we jump cut to Fimberly no selling because she's selling a corkscrewed arm after breaking it; which is actual continuity from See Bea Ski. Glad to see someone was paying attention. Ironically; before Hats Amore; that was the only other episode where Fimberly was almost treated like a furry being. Almost. Fimberly cries, and the Lobster Nephews no sell this deal as well. Shellsea does the slowest closing of the door you ever saw as Milo drags his sled into the middle of an algae field and sits on the sled sulking while this Peanuts-equse Christmas music is played in the background. Milo asks if there is anyone who would like to play in this stuff and in comes Dan and Ann Chovie having fun in the snow. Why yes folks; this episode is a Dan & Ann Chovie episode; because the writers have no sense of balance whatsoever. Of course, Dan and Ann are stupid idiot and thinks algae is codeword for rain.
Milo looks at the scene as he is not liking the prospect of having to play with them; because in storyline, the Chovies' gimmick is that they are like Christian in that they are CLB's. Creppy little bastards; everyone. They make algae snowman for fun or as they would say, Rainmen. I don't think Halifax needs to be reminded of that D-League basketball championship debacle anymore. Milo greets the Chovies and they act like awing creeps as we discover that they attend metal shop class together. Ann Chovie looks like a fish furry version of Jackie The Stalker Whackerman by the way. So we exchange notes on the situation as Dan & Ann Chovie love algae days because they aren't allowed to watch television and don't even know what one looks like. Milo doesn't care anyway because he wants to hang out with them and play in the algae. I cannot argue with that overwhelming logic there, Milo. So the Chovies circle around the Milo drain, and we HIT THE MONTAGE~! ALGAEBALL FIGHT~! Milo hits glasses of Dan, Dan's throw is officially worse than Kit's after having enough of Dan Dawson's child abuse. Ann's isn't much better as we do the sled ride down the hill, HEY! The sled ramps off and bounces off the roof of Mr. Baldwin's car before they bury themselves in the algae, they pop up and cheers. Scene change to them wading through the algae and create a romancizied version of Milo with steroid like muscle. Whatever makes you happy, guys. So the Chovies are finishing their algaeman; the ugliest looking one ever caught, snowman or otherwise as Milo sits down and enjoys himself. The name of the algaeman is Pancake by the way. Notice how Milo does the whip crack sound, but in this show, we almost never hear it, unlike in Johnny Test where merely moving makes it happen, and we get almost two hundred of them in eleven minutes. Milo blows off Bea and Oscar for missing this as the Chovies rip off the wooden arms and beat the algaeman with a stick. See; they really are CLB's. The head of algaeman plops off of course as Milo has a Krackpotkin plan: Go back to Milo's house and taunt Bea and Oscar for deciding to not kill themselves in having fun. Why? Why not?!
It's not like they haven't paid off Milo's fun with the Chovies already. Milo rubs his hands in evil glee and the Chovies have zero problem following him in kind. As much as I think this is CDS'ing the episode, Milo Moments are usually funny so I can handle this one, even with two CLB's following his every whim. Scene change back to the Hamster television marathon of fear with Fish Peter Parker and Fish Mary Jane Watson. Oh, come on! You knew this was coming a mile away! Alexis and her girlfriend are on the television, acting like annoying hamsters because apparently packing light equals eight suitcase. The boy is flustered while Bea and Oscar laugh at this, because this show speaks to them. Here's a refute to that argument: Making a valid argument is supposed to speak for itself. When your argument speaks volumes more about the person making the argument than the argument itself, it's a very invalid argument. The door opens and in comes Milo (with the Chovies) taunting Bea and Oscar. Milo's laughing was a lot more funnier than the show or even this episode for that matter. The Chovies are more silent than a person with no hearing at all as the Chovies are told to take a break for five minutes, which won't be that long since we will never hear them again in this episode. Oscar and Bea are confused by this as they are acting like the Chovies are CLB's; and being incredibly dishonest about it. It's odd because the only thing that comes close to creepy is them whacking an aglaeman with a wooden stick. At least they are not killing actual animals or anything. The Chovies are now watching television and are in awe of it as the hamsters are dancing on the sofa now with strobe lights. They aren't hiding the fact that they are furries when Alexis tells them to show off those furry moves. The dancing is mesmorizing the Chovies as their eyes grow wide as Milo does the Gruffi pose and sounds so awkward that he cannot be having actual fun. The Spiderman couple of doom acts like this is great and all...because they can watch the hamster channel without worrying about Milo not having people to play with and they do the fist bump of doom. Who are the CLB's now?!
Milo's reaction is priceless and now he's pissed off as Milo blows them off and officially breaks up the friendship with Oscar and Bea; because the Chovies know how to have fun and not watch television. Ummm; Milo, as much as I appreciate the sentiment of you sticking up for outdoor Luddites the world over, Dan and Ann Chovie are brainwashed with television now. Milo grabs the Chovies and storms off slamming the door. Oscar is confused by this as Bea claims that Milo just broke up with them. Geez; I wonder why?! Milo finds the algae rock and sits down on it, throwing down an algaeball and sulks about it. Dan and Ann Chovie has blue eyes and look uber creepy now as this looks like a case of television-loving syndrome. Milo pleads for them to listen as we hear the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM in their heads as it's time...TO DANCE~! Algae dancing, Milo is soon gonna give up on you! They dance and back up Milo as the Chovies live up to their CLB label perfectly now. More dancing and Milo gets smacked in the face as Milo bails and we get the most hilariously creepy Scooby-Doo chase sequence I have ever seen. We swim run into the park...AGAIN! Milo proclaims that the Chovies have lost their minds. You don't say?! Like you didn't notice that when they beat up an algaeman?! Jump cut back to Bea and Oscar watching television...AGAIN! The hamsters proclaim that friends are the best thing ever and then they hug. Riiiigggghhhhttttt. I would think allies would be the best thing ever, since friends seem to turn on people when it's the most convenient. Like what Milo just did about a few minutes ago. Bea and Oscar feel bad about dissing Milo and decide to walk out (with no algae clothes on mind you) and call out for Milo. They want to talk as they discover the sled is empty. They wonder where the rest of him is as they hear Milo screaming; and swim run into the city park. They head up a hill and notice that Milo is up on top of an algae covered tree while the Chovies are dancing and whacking the tree with their twerk dance. Don't ask; I don't know why. Even Oscar is calling this "dirty dancing"; so they are clearly twerking here. Whatever.
Oscar proclaims that they need to save Milo; but they'll never make it in time. They look at the sled and then we jump cut to them sledding down the hill screaming. Of course! We have an FPS racing shot of Oscar dodging obstacles and I'm shocked Mr. Baldwin and his car was not involved here. Or even Steve Jackson for that matter. Dammit; that was boring as the Chovies show off their incredible pissing off moral guardian skills. So the babyfaces bounce off the ramp and tree in that order as they cross paths. Bea grabs Milo's arm as they bounce off the tree, Chovies don't care as they end their dance and bury themselves in algae. The algae manages to knock them to their senses and look confused now. The sled comes down and slides; gently hitting the stone in front of them and that is that. So they exchange notes as Bea tries to apologize for not coming out to play with him; but Milo cuts them off and apologizes for cutting them off of their friendship because he finally admits in his own way that the Chovies are indeed creepy little bastards. If you ever want someone to be honest without being blunt, call Milo. The Chovies come in and Milo asks if they are okay; but the Chovies panic and bail stage right. So; there is some daylight left as Oscar suggest an algaeball fight and Milo is giddy; so he gets hit in the face with one. Milo tries to protest this outrage; but he gets hit in the face again. Milo is trying to bail; but Bea and Oscar strike more snowballs into Milo's face as we zoom out of the fishtanks to end the episode at 10:20 approx. This was a fun episode and the Chovies were perfectly fine, but not much else. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; I came back from finishing TaleSpin and Goof Troop; expecting a letdown and I ended up with two middling, but pretty fun episodes. Hats Amore! was fun; albeit dumb with the parents being a bunch of idiots I couldn't get behind, but Miss Lips was pretty cool and Fimberly had probably her best performance ever and it was one that didn't end with her getting killed. She did take two bumps; but they weren't really awful and her singing of the Fish National Anthem was EPIC, made more so by Baldwin finishing the seahorse race and gaining the heart of Miss Lips even more. Excellent booking and some really funny Milo moments helped a lot; although I could have done without the Salmon/Zeus Pizza ordering spot that went nowhere. Algae Day was actually fun as well, as this was the Chovies' first focus episode and it was a decent outing for them as they played the role of Luddities who don't know television and got brainwashed into hamster twerking. At least in this one; the twerking made them heels to Milo in order to set up the big finish and Milo is Milo in his playful antics and it was pretty good. Bea and Oscar were fine in their roles and that's a great sign when Bea is acting like a furry being instead of an ass like she usually does. Overall; a decent pair of shorts. So...
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time!