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Fish Hooks

Bea Saves A Tree/Surfing The Interwet Rant

Reviewed: 05/14/2017

Bea Kills The Interwet! It's What She Does.

Well; it's time for more season three of Fish Hooks as Bea chains herself to a plastic tree to save it from a new Fishever-22 store! Yeah; guess who is the voice of reason in this setup?! Then we get a Miss Lips focused episode as Miss Lips surfs for Youtube videos. That is exactly what happened. How do these episodes fare? Let's rant on shall we...?

Bea Saves A Tree is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, C.H. Greenblatt, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards are done by Tyler Chen and Niki Yang; while the direction is done by C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss. Surfing The Interwet is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, C.H. Greenblatt, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards are done by Maxwell Atoms, Sherm Cohen, Derek Evanick, C.H. Greenblatt (who also directs), Carson Kugler, Diana Lafyatis, William Reiss (who directs) and David Shair. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.

Bea Saves A Tree: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Tree Huggers ) as Bud is watering a plant. Damn; I wanted to see him hugging a literal tree willfully because that's the only thing that would remotely come close to loving him. The plant grows into a beanstalk and Bud bails as the vine chases him through the shop. Pfft; whatever. We head into the living room of Bea's house as Bea's dad is watching television and looking bored. We get a car insurance ad and then we see a purple haired clam on a table (I think it's in the Hokey Poke) with a blond woman fish as the clam admits that he's a vampire and she loves it, doing the fist bump. Pfft; whatever. We then see a woman green fish reporter in a blue suit and holding a microphone in front of a tree as Bea is yelling at some construction workers over a giant tree in the background. Apparently; this area is being converted to a store as Bea is protesting and daring them to kill her...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Dad is calling Mom to come in and sees this; but she blows off Dad because Mom has to do the dishes. Of course! Once again; another moment tainted because of rigid gender roles. Bea claims that this isn't a normal tree; but a friend in need...of sleep...in bed. It's been here since she was a child. Bea claims that it's a part of her...in bed. Bea claims that she wrote a song about the tree in need...of sleep...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Yeah; this joke is a lot less impressive now then it was when I was making fun of the show four years ago. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues...in my bed. We get a pan up north and a B&W flashback of Fimberly swinging Bea on a swing as they have an acute case of Fanboy & Chum Chum lazy eye. We see the treehouse with more lazy eye Milo and Oscar as Bea is climbing up the rope with the tree. Apparently; you don't have to boil the maple sap in the tree to make maple syrup in the fish world because Bea simply dumps it on a plate of flapjacks being eaten by Milo. Okay; good to know.

The reporter goes over to an annoyed head of construction as Milo comes into the background and makes faces which is more amusing than the head of construction's promo. Headman (That's my name for him and I'm sticking to it!) claims that it's fifty on one advantage adults; turning him into a total heel. He might as well have said: "She claims that we would have to kill her to get rid of her. That can be arranged.". Oh wait; in the eyes of the audience, that would turn him and crew babyface. That would be a bad idea since Bea is the star of this show. Oscar pushes Milo away and then waves at Bea all giddy. The reporter asks if there are ways to avoid the tree; and he says no. Of course; he's supposed to be the heel, so it's because REASONS~! The babyfaces meet and greet as Oscar claims that he has no personal connection to the tree and hides behind the carving of BEA loves Oscar heart. Okay; I found ONE good reason to cut this tree down now, because why would Oscar hide this since Bea and Oscar are already professing their love to each other. Force of habit, I guess. Bea claims that everyone has a connection to this tree...in bed. So we see a Grandma fish with a purple hat cut promos and claims that this is a blueberry tree. Okay; there's reason number two to chop this tree down. This Grandma loves blueberries so much that she looks like a wrinked up version of one. Bea still claims this as proof to save this plastic tree. Yes; this tree is made of plastic. Screw you, Bea; just screw you! You care about a fake tree a lot more than your real parents. And speaking of them; they swim in waving hello and are going to support her anyway. How can I see bad things to them after that?! This is why Bea is such an asshole. I love Dad's insult as he claims that the television really does make you gain ten pounds and does the LALALA spot which makes Bea mad. It seems to also make people gain a lot of stupidity genes too. Heh heh. So Koi Fish, Jumbo Shrimp, Fimberly, Albert Glass and Escarmargot all enter in support of Bea. So; it's now 50 on ten, advantage adults and nine of them I actually care about, making Bea look even worse.

Oh wait; it's eleven with Clamantha as she nuzzles Oscar of course, because she's a granny-voiced stalker. Baldwin comes in a dozen babies in a baby carriage as Bea uses his parental instincts. Baldwin pumps up and decides to join, screw the baby diapers later. So; it's still fifty on twenty four, advantage construction workers and #25 is dragged away by a squirrel, sady. The blueberry grandmother, everyone. Ten more hippies run in and it's fifty on thirty-four now as the tree huggers are chanting to save this useless plastic tree. Then number thirty-five comes in dressed as a vampire hunter with a torch wanting to burn that witch. She's the red haired doodette with golden stripes...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Sadly; he realizes that it's the wrong group and bails stage left. Dammit! Already addressed the fire in water thing already, so let's move on. The reporter asks Headman about it and basically proclaims that the second the peanut gallery leaves, he's going to put saw to plastic tree. Bea apparently heard this and has now chained herself to the tree off-screen as the reporter interviews her. Bea proclaims that this is great and the reporter is now repulsed by her and bails. In comes Shellsea from behind as Bea is happy to see her and wants Shellsea to chain herself to the plastic tree. Shellsea rightfully protests this outrage. I love it! Shellsea is putting Bea in her proper place. That is why Shellsea is the best woman of the entire series, because of stuff like this. She knows this is bullcrap! Shellsea shakes her and informs her that there is going to be a Fish-22 store here. I just love that the store's name is loosely based on the concept of Catch-22. That made me laugh. Bea is confused as Shellsea does the DREAM SEQUENCE OF DOOM with border of white dreams (how fitting?) as we open the Catch-22 store filled with clothes and perfume. TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM ensues as the girls are doing sexy poses (by Disney standards) on top of a counter containing perfume and then we get a dance sequence which looks so goofy, that it only wants me to cut the chains and throw the fish out. Way to turn the Headman babyface there, doods!

Lots of fur coats, throwing clothes and trying on fancy shades ensue in between the dancing. Lots of fish bebopping and dresses on the rack containing the babyfaces ensue as we return to reality (SAD!) as Bea loves to go to Store-22. Shellsea tries to grab her, but Bea then recoils and no sells the deal because she's a rebel with a cause. Geez; this only serves to make the rebels without a cause look like the best people on the damn planet. She cannot simply walk away from this anymore as Jumbo Shrimp and Albert Glass are chained to the branches of the tree, sweating. Shellsea whispers sweet Catch-22's in Bea's ear, which just makes Bea's rebel attitude look even dumber now in hindsight. Listen morons, the tree is freaking plastic! That kills whatever sympathy I have with Bea. Shellsea is going to crack Bea like an egg and Bea gleefully no sells this. Ah; this is going to be great, now that Shellsea is gleefully playing the voice of reason for my amusement. Bea wants both shopping and the tree as Shellsea whispers into Bea's ear and Bea likes this as Shellsea calls herself an ordinary fish as we head to the tree AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as everyone is in tents saying their good nights to everyone. We then see Bea and Shellsea on a tree branch (Wearing the most goofiest ski masks I have ever seen. They look like luncha wrestlers in those.) taking down the chained Albert Glass and Jumbo Shrimp who are sleeping. Fimberly and Escarmargot are sleeping on the ground as Shellsea and Bea pop the tree out of the ground and place it in a conveniently placed pink car and stick it on the roof. Shellsea and Bea get into the car and put on their seatbelt. Yes folks; the plan is to move to the tree to her house. Not the dumbest thing I have ever heard, but they suddenly go up a snowy hill and plop the tree right on the cliff and prop it against the fish tank. Yip; that's it. Bea is relucent to sell this but Shellsea is double trouble. I betcha everyone finds out the tree is missing and instantly turn on Bea for it...because the lesson of the day is you do not compromise for the cause, even though without compromise; life can never move on and we get wars that aren't neccessary.

That angle would be incredibly stupid as the fish get into the pink car and Shellsea slips on the stick shift and the car rides backwards, bonks into the plastic tree and it goes out of the tank. Oops! You had one job Shellsea: Drive away forward and you blew even that. The plastic tree is on the floor as Wilford's eyes stare at it underneath some cages. Well, good; at least the stupidest part of this episode is over and we are not going to get the "friends turn on Bea because of the cause" angle. Bea and Shellsea panic as Wilford grabs the tree and shakes it as Bea screams. Then Wilford eats the plastic tree, because why not? Thankfully; he spits it out because even he knows the obvious possible angle would suck the life out of this episode. Bea and Shellsea are repulsed by this as Wilford grabs the tree and puts it in the kitty litter box; which is attracting flies so much, even I'm grossed out. Damn; and I was getting so used to this, too. Wilford digs the litter boxes as Bea cannot watch and Shellsea calls it disgusting. Bea whines as we REPEAT THE FLASHBACKS with more digging and no talking. Bea then proclaims that they must do what is right and save the plastic tree of doom. Well; why not?! It's not like Bea had any rational sense in her brain since this episode started anyway. If it means that we get four minutes out of this, I'm all for it. Hell; I'll even accept Bea winning here. Bea grabs Shellsea and she does the weakest protesting I have ever seen. To be fair; Shellsea was at fault for bonking into the tree in the first place, so there you go. Bea and Shellsea jump onto the edge of the fish tanks and then jump off; so yes, Bea is a total idiot because they didn't at least take out fish tanks like they always do. Jump cut to morning as everyone is sleeping on the ground with Milo runs in, calling for Bea with a container of juice and then is shocked and appalled because Mr. Green (the tree's name, don't ask me why) and Bea are gone as Milo pours juice on the kids who slept on the ground. Milo is panicky while squishing the container as we jump cut to the SCOOBY-DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE PLASTIC TREE WILFORD EDITION~! Because, why not?

Shellsea and Bea run into a mouse hole to hide as Wilford flashes his claw and tries to claw them, failing. Lots of growling and showing the plastic tree as a dare as Bea and Shellsea are shaking like leaves. Then Bea stops selling and goes forward to try to claim Mr. Green by punching Wilford's right eye. Because she's a stupid idiot of course. This is enough to back up Wilford and the fish bail stage left. More running as we jump cut back to the showdown between Milo and Headman as of course, Milo just accused him of kidnapping her and the tree; which Headman rightfully blows off. Milo claims that he saw it with his two eyes. Milo needs to watch Forsenic Files a lot more after that promo. Even Oscar isn't buying this crap; so you know he's BS'ing the scene. Remind me to never show off Occam's Razor to Milo, because that would ruin his character. Jump cut to the chase scene with Shellsea and Bea as Bea wants the tweezers from Shellsea's purse. She gets them and she throws them at Wilford, and misses his eye. Then lipstick; same result and then more international objects, also same results. Bea proclaims that this monster doesn't feel pain, which is the most painful thing you can say to a monster, natch. Then we bring it around the corner as Wilford misses his cue as we pan down to Shellsea and Bea sweating. Shellsea calls this crazy hot as it's clear that they are running out of moisture as Bea has a Krackpotkin plan which involved her headband. Oh boy; this is a bad idea, whatever it is and even Shellsea is protesting this and grabbing her headband. Geez; they are the first two way hypocrites in capitivity. Shellsea claims that it's a part of her body and I agree with her. Bea don't care of course because she's an ass who was stupid enough to defend a plastic tree. Bea pulls on the headband and swims over; setting up for a trip wire spot which Wilford trips on and goes flying. Wilford screams and loses the tree as it buries the cheering idiots on the ground. Wilford then lands on the shelves acting like a bridge of course because Shellsea telegraphed to all of us that they are still alive.

So we jump cut to the Headman/Milo stare down of stupid idiot fear as Milo invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on the Headman's nose, while playing good cop/bad cop on him. We make a bathroom joke about fish going anywhere for a pee and everyone in the background is instantly repulsed by it. Geez; I see most fish have embarassing moments of this. Luckly; most humans are thankful we only have to here it from Milo, the only one who is not embarassed to admit this "truth". So, in comes Bea and Shellsea as Bea calls this disgusting and they bring the tree in the pink car. They both look like they got destroyed as Headman calls Milo cupcake face and Milo instantly turns into a cupcake with a face. HAHA! Oh god; I just realized that they are going to do the "traitor" finish as Bea and Shellsea fess up and as expected, everyone turns on her for it. Because the cause is more important than Fishever-22. Of course; the allies hate her as Bea and Shellsea put the tree into the hole and then Shellsea comes up and basically defends Bea claiming that it's her fault for this. Yeah; it was her fault as Bea wanted to defend the tree from beginning to end and Shellsea tried to be reasonable about it. Shellsea is pissed off talking about defending a tree and losing her headband for that. You can tell this promo was written by a man when she claims that girls are nothing without headbands. What a sexist statement that is? Explain Coach Salmons, then! Shellsea hugs Bea and apologizes for it. Awww; my heart melted! Everyone claps and cheer anyway; because hey, they don't want to look like heartless monsters. The Bea's family comes in and cuts their promo as Headman has had enough of this and decides to pull the plug on Store-22 anyway causing the fish to cheer. Why am I not shocked by this?! Years ago; I would have gone on a Mr. Enter triade about contracts and assorted reasons for compromise which Shellsea was trying to point out to Bea; but it's not worth it anymore. There are worse things in this show then this, so let's end this episode already. Koi, Fimberly and Escarmargot all feel the tragedy as Bea asks Headman if they could build in another location and he claims that he can.

So yes; the whole thing was rendered completely pointless right there. That's why I decided to not go on a triade because I knew where this was going and it's a better spot than that. So we do the "3 Months Later title card that isn't funny without a deadpan narrator" spot and return with Bea under the plastic tree, which is fitting because her acting is as plastic as the tree. She's reading Fishteen Magazine as her cellphone rings. She answers it and asks Shellsea if she loves the new location and we head up to see the store is the treehouse now. Oooookkkkaaayyyyy; that thing is an obvious deathtrap. What a stupid idea?! Shellsea informs us that there is a sale abrewing and Steve Jackson is shirtless causing Bea to spin around. Bea puts on an absurd hat and climbs up to end the episode at 10:20 approx. Better than it had any right to be; but it was still a stupid episode featuring what Bea does best: Be an asshole and not realize how stupid she looks in doing it. Shellsea literally carried this episode on it's back, so call it ** 1/2 (50%).

Surfing The Interwet: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Interwet Service; which means that Interwet is a slang redneck term. Okay; good to know.) BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (Sunset) as we get the dreaded black arrow of doom clicking on fish tanks. So we head towards the fishtank where Miss Lips lives (complete with Christmas lights and the peace symbol) as we jump cut to the kitchen with a closeup shot of a coffee mug that says "I Heart Cats" with an orange/blue cat painted on it; and the handle is basically the cat's tail. Miss Lips is making tea the old fashion way and smelling it; as it's Friday night. Shot of Antia the Cat wishing she was Grumpy Cat right about now and being over. Miss Lips wants to surf the Interwet and get crazy. Okay; this might be fun in fact. Let's face it; we all love to watch videos on Youtube, regardless of how offensive and horrible they might turn out to be. So we head into the living room which is a darken room with the monitor screen. Miss Lips sits down with Antia and we start typing for search results; and since there are so many choices, Antia will choose the first video. I should note that Antia is already Interwet ready as the cat can control the mouse with precision already. First segment: We watch a trailer featuring Pamela Hamster fighting alien chickens with green trident forks and laser guns in the movie Hamsterella: Random Rise Of The Space Chickens, complete with the most obvious Z-grade introduction possible. This looks like someone an amteaur fan did. I hope this was the case. Also in 3D and only available in hamster theaters. That went over like a fart in Miss Lips' living room. Oh wait...So Lips lets Antia click another one and she sells. Next segment features Steve Jackson being Steve Jackson in that he's trying to think and Miss Lips hates thoughts; which is hilarious considering that she is supposed to be a school guidance counseller. So we click and the next segment features Shellsea in the parking lot driving a purple scooter while cutting a promo about shopping at Grocery Trout with Fimberly; who is mugging for the camera. She wants to be famous and be on reality shows. Sigh.

Fimberly of course slams into the floor after running because she has to be a bump machine doll for the writers in order for them to get through life. Sigh infinity. So Shellsea bumps her scooter into Fish Vartan and neither one sells it at all. Fish Vartan seems to know a lot more about reality shows than Shellsea does, because Shellsea thinks she's shooting a reality show when she's shooting a really awkward documentary. Fish Vartan acts and annoys Shellsea to no end, making her more and more angry by the promo. Personally; this is kind of kinky to me. Bascially; Fish Vartan is cutting movie line promos and Shellsea is yelling at him to stop. Please don't Vartan, you are actually making this episode sound better than it actually is. Shellsea adjusts the camera and Fish Vartan disappears right on cue. Pfft; whatever. So we get Fimberly filming the thing while trying to get the shampoo on the top shelf. If you cannot guess what happens to Fimberly during this, you haven't been paying attention to the fact that Fimberly is the Meg Griffin of this show. To be fair; Fish Vartan did most of the work in creating this scene, but still. Yeah; shelf topples over and everyone crashes off-screen as shampoo has been sprayed on Fish Vartan's fat ass. Sadly; it's no tables match. Shellsea grabs the camera and throws Shellsea away to film Fish Vartan on his back complaining about his buttocks; which I bet is cleaner than mine at this point. Shellsea mugs for the camera and calls this the best reality show ever. Miss Lips is horrified by this suffering and Antia clicks the next segment which features Bo Gregory at his farm. Oh; this is like shooting fish in a barrel, both ways! Bo Gregory features a white duck in the wheat field called Louis. Louis is just looking at the camera doing nothing and basically no selling Bo Gregory. Bo Gregory's redneck igorance is hilarious and not in a good way as he brings out the blue frisbee. He tosses it; Louis no sells it. Bo Gregory claims that minds work in mysterious ways, kind of like the reality version of God. Louis quacks and bails because this segment is just getting slained right about now. Miss Lips approves of this video; but Antia hisses because she hates learning.

Miss Lips loves her cat and it's the next segment featuring the most cocky one yet. Yip; it's the EVIL ONE's Youtube video. YOU WISH YOU WERE KENNDY POWERS~! The announcer goes over Randy Pincherson's scummy ways showing money to the Chovies and then gets in between Escarmargot and Fimberly, who look like they were sexually assaulted by this perverted scummy crab boy. Clamantha cameos and no one cares because we are all wrong about Randy as he bullies Jumbo Shrimp in the lockers, shakes hands with Nurse Fishington while giving the crabs up signal which is basically a political video for student counsel and he's trying to unsurp the Lobster Nephews and they are a bunch of liars in claiming that they didn't say that they wanted longer school days. Randy pinches Milo's ass and then rides a fish bear with a top hat and wand. Well; at least Randy Pincherson would not only approve of this message, he made it; so you cannot doubt that this is a step above more political ads. As usual; he's a douchebag waving money. Antia has had enough and clicks to the next segment with Bea's Dad. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry; it's a pre-emptive strike here. Bea's dad tells one joke; Bea comes in and protests this outrage and turns the video off as he's in Bea's room. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Look; he didn't look into anything Bea wrote, he was making jokes on camera. Even Miss Lips is laughing her eyes out on this; so you know it's hilarious. Miss Lips wants the next segment before she wets her pants, and really I cannot argue as we head to Milo's Healing Powers of Friendship with Milo on the microphone; as he has a tall order to fill after that last video. It's Razor V. Doom who is supposed to be a vampire called Fishfarotuu today. HAHA! Razor cuts a really generic promo; but Milo's sticking the microphone in the eye made this funny. Sadly; the microphone does not kill him like a wooden stake would. That would have been a neat payoff in fact.

Oh wait; we might still get that payoff as Jumbo Shrimp and Escarmargot in vampire hunter gear are sitting down. Oh goody; Escarmargot Belmont is back! Milo is such an idiot that this is just too funny. He wants to bring them together for forgiveness. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Milo is such a tool. Escarbelmont dives in, tackles Razor V. Doom and basically kills him off-screen. Damn; I was hoping she would take the microphone and stick it in the heart. I guess the metal grate isn't made of silver. The preview for the next episode is sort of a letdown as Albert and Jumbo Shrimp threaten to bash each other with chairs and then show off that they can lift chairs. Antia clicks on mouse and it's the next segment featuring hands crushing anthro hearts. It's date connection as Mr. Baldwin is dressed like he's...Wait a second, why is Mr. Baldwin on a Dating show?! Oh no, this writing team is trying to kill the Miss Lips/Mr. Baldwin relationship dead?! No! No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Miss Lips is concerned and thinks it's old, so it's okay for her to watch it anyway. Mr. Baldwin is way overdressed for this role as he is sweating like he's went to Oscar's Geekfeast of Death. So Baldwin does lessons with the rose as a pointer and the guise of this is that he's looking for a woman. U + Me = Happiness. More like: Adult + Smart = Kids Changing The Channel. Hey; I'm not the one who created the study, I just read lips from execs. Baldwin admitted that this video came from 1986. Whew! That's a relief! Baldwin reads from a piece of paper and is sweating like mad, he's also allergic to bees. I'm guessing they are fish bees. Sadly; it's not Beas. POW! OUCH! Ummm... Baldwin's username is ZombieKing101 and is looking for his ZombieQueen101. Jump cut to further in the segment as Coach Salmons is on wearing a goofy blue/black sweater and brown mustache. Man; Salmons has gotten even YOUNGER since 1986. Geez; I didn't know being gay made you younger. Hmmmmm. Patrisa is making him do this video since he's lonely. Yeah; whatever, we all know no one cares about Coach Salmon's bad dating skills. His user name is MamasBoy1.

Wait; so Salmon's boyhood role model is Jim Cornette? His photo shows him fake playing a guitar by the way. Antia clicks and we get a space background with Albert Glass doing dubstep, Jumbo Shrimp doing cosmos, repeat, repeat, repeat. It's 1980's Doctor Whoish Dubsmos. Man; those colors are causing me to getting bloatier than usual. Jumbo Shrimp and Albert Glass crash into each other and planet matter shatters into pieces in slooooowwww motion. Pfft; whatever. We end this segment with Jumbo Shrimp and Albert lying on the floor as it's an on-line dance service; which Miss Lips blows off. Yeah; that sucked. Antia clicks and we get more Date Connection bullcrap; this time with Zeus Mussels with red hair and a green muscle shirt. He hasn't changed much since 1986, in fact. His username is PumpItUp123 and gives the thumbs up. Miss Lips blows it off and we get the next segment featuring Wilford the KILLER CAT OF DEATH. Yes; Wilford, a real life cat, has a Youtube video, because, why not?! Oh; and he adjusts the camera and speaks! Lovely! Wilford is voiced by John Ratzenberger and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Ratzenberger was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut, the son of Bertha Veronica (née Grochowski), who worked for Remington Arms, and Dezso Alexander Ratzenberger, a Texaco truck driver.[2][3] His father was of Austrian and Hungarian descent, and his mother was of Polish ancestry.[4] He attended St. Ann's School in Bridgeport and Sacred Heart University in Fairfield, Connecticut.[1] In 1969, Ratzenberger was a tractor operator at the Woodstock Festival.[5] He moved to London in 1971 and stayed there for 10 years.[1] Ratzenberger was a house framer[6] living in London when he began his career in the performing arts.[1] Through the 1970s, he performed with Ray Hassett as the comedic theatrical duo Sal’s Meat Market which toured across the UK.[7] Peter Richardson and Nigel Planer as The Outer Limits and in The Comic Strip were heavily influenced by Sal’s Meat Market.[8] His first role was a patron in The Ritz (1976).

Throughout the late 1970s and early 1980s Ratzenberger appeared in various minor roles in major feature films, including Firefox; A Bridge Too Far, as Lieutenant James Megellas; Superman, as a missile controller; Superman II, as the NASA control man; Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back as "Major Bren Derlin"; Motel Hell as a drummer; Outland as a doomed mine worker named Tarlow; and Gandhi, playing an American Lieutenant. Ratzenberger is well known for playing mail carrier Cliff Clavin on the sitcom Cheers. He had read for the part of Norm Peterson, but after the audition, he sensed that they weren't going to give him the part. Sensing an opportunity, he asked if they had written a bar know-it-all, which the producers decided was a great idea.[9] Ratzenberger also came up with the idea for Cliff's trademark white socks, which he wore as a tribute to French comedian Jacques Tati.[10] Cliff became known for his outlandish stories of plausible half-truths, uninteresting trivia, and misinformation, and in general for being a pretentious blowhard. Cliff and Norm, the primary customer characters, became iconic bar buddies. Ratzenberger provided the voice for an animated version of Cliff on The Simpsons 6th season episode "Fear of Flying". When Paramount Television licensed the look of the Cheers bar to the Host International subsidiary of Host Marriott Services for use in airports in the U.S. and New Zealand, the group also created animatronic barflies. They were called "Hank" and "Bob"; Ratzenberger and George Wendt claimed Hank and Bob resembled them, and in January 1993 sued Host for using their likenesses without permission.[11] The case languished in court for eight years before all sides settled in 2001.[12] Ratzenberger has had a voice part in all of Pixar's feature films made to date, ranging from major characters to characters that only appear in one scene.[13] His roles include:

Ratzenberger's tenure at Pixar was parodied during the end credits of Cars, where his character, Mack, watches car-themed versions of Pixar films (Toy Car Story, Monster Trucks, Inc., and A Bug's Life). Mack notes that all the characters Ratzenberger has played were excellent until he realizes that they are performed by the same actor, at which point he remarks that "They're just using the same actor over and over," and asks "What kind of cut-rate production is this?!" His favorite of his Pixar characters was P.T. Flea, because "in real life I always get a kick out of those kinds of characters, people who just go into a rage for [no] explicable reason. He was always on edge. His blood pressure was always way over the top, and everything that he did was done in a panicked state. So it was a lot of fun to play him."[6] Although technically not Pixar films, Ratzenberger also voiced Harland the jet tug in DisneyToon Studios' Planes (2013)[14][15] and a mustached plane named Brodi in its sequel, Planes: Fire & Rescue (2014).[16] During season 6 of Last Comic Standing, Ratzenberger was a talent scout with his former Cheers co-star George Wendt. On March 2, 2007, it was announced that he would replace Vincent Pastore on the fourth season of the American version of Dancing with the Stars.[17] He was partnered with professional ballroom dancer Edyta Sliwinska, who had been Pastore's partner; the two were the sixth couple to be eliminated from the show. On December 3, 2009, Ratzenberger appeared on an episode of American Chopper to help promote awareness of the Iraq Star Foundation. On June 26, 2011, Ratzenberger was asked by NASCAR to give the shouting command for the 2011 Toyota Save-Mart 350 at Sonoma. Ratzenberger accepted and gave the "Gentlemen start your engines" command. On April 23, 2015, Ratzenberger appeared as a guest judge on the fourteenth season of Hell's Kitchen for an alcohol challenge, in nod to his appearances on Cheers. Also:

Ratzenberger developed a packaging-alternatives product made from biodegradable and non-toxic recycled paper as a safe alternative to styrofoam "peanuts" and plastic bubble wrap. This product was manufactured by his company Eco-Pak Industries, which he later sold.[21] Ratzenberger co-authored We've Got it Made in America: A Common Man's Salute to an Uncommon Country (ISBN 1-931722-84-6), published in 2006. He also co-founded the Nuts, Bolts and Thingamajigs Foundation,[22] dedicated to raising awareness among young people of skilled trades and engineering disciplines.[23] In 2010, Ratzenberger became affiliated with and now represents the Center for America (formerly the Foundation for Fair Civil Justice) to further develop his work and increase awareness about the skilled worker shortage facing the United States and the changes needed to positively impact and increase the number of skilled workers.[24] He joined as a Board Member in 2010.[24] CFA is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization whose mission is to "educate, motivate and empower the American people to understand they have the greatest stake in removing obstacles to a fair civil justice system, innovation, entrepreneurism, and job creation."[25] CFA creates multi-media educational programs, publications and website features that reach millions of Americans through radio, television and the internet."[25] He began his career in 1976 on The Ritz as a patron. Fish Hooks is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Project: Puppies for Christmas is his most recent credit. He has 145 Acting credits, 7 Director credits, 1 Soundtrack credit, 5 Producer credits, 3 Writing credits, 1 Camera & Electric Department credit, 1 Thanks credit, 69 Self credits and 17 Archive Footage credits to his resume. So Wilford is cutting a promo about himself as it's all about who is inside of him as the mouth opens and Oscar is inside yelling and screaming that he is inside. Of course! Miss Lips claims that Wilford should get that checked.

Personally; I would have ended it with Wilford cutting a two minute promo about the importance of being yourself because the thing has lost it's charm now and it's time to mercy kill. But of course; this is not what is going to happen as we cut to a video of Clamantha showing off her Scrunchy Haul collection basket. Antia clicks to the next video before she barely starts out. Good; at least ONE character in this show hates that Granny voice as much as I do. Next segment shows Koi Fish adjusting the camera. Koi sits down, puts on glasses and brings out a colorful ukelele. She wishes she is Goofy; but this is still better than Clamantha. Her playing is pretty good; but her singing sucks sadly. I wish they translated her grunting to English here; because that would have made the scene even funnier. Koi ends her song and turns off the camera as Miss Lips heart has melted. Miss Lips wants to continue this thing all day; but Antia punches the monitor. Oh goody; she really does want to be Grumpy Cat now. Miss Lips proclaims that the Interwet is down. More like her monitor is broken; but whatever as Miss Lips decides that it's time for bed and she walks out with the cat. We zoom out of her house as Antia smothers Miss Lips and then Miss Lips manages to get her off and wants Antia to scratch her back. That sounds like a bad idea to me. OW indeed as we end the episode at 10:20 approx. Geez; the rant was almost as long as the one tribute. Almost. This was a fun episode that simply went on for too long, and it was basically ten minutes of watching videos, which was pointless because the real stuff is much better than this. Oh well, I had fun so ***...Oh wait; I'm adding a 1/2* for the ending with Fish Vartan in a candle shop rapping YOLO and riding a giraffe holding a taco. That alone makes this a good episode now. *** 1/2 (65%).

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THE REVIEW LINE

Well; we got just a bunch of middling shorts this time around. Bea Saves A Tree was destined to be the low point of the episode as the premise was so stupid with Bea trying to save a plastic tree, which makes me have zero sympathy for it. If it was an organic tree, then I might have some emotional attachment to it; but making it plastic made Bea look like a whining idiot. Luckly; Shellsea being the voice of reason was epic and the Wilford sequences were really good, along with brief moments of Milo being Milo playing cop with the head of construction for my amusement. The rest of it was the usual stuff; and the finish was dumb and the ending was pointless; but it was better than it had any right to be, which is a win for Bea focused episodes, so no complaints otherwise. As for Surfing the Interwet, it was basically ten minutes of Miss Lips watching goofy videos and nothing else. The videos were fine and some of them were funny; however, there was really nothing that we haven't seen in real life and we didn't get any character development that we didn't know already; although it would have been worse if Mr. Baldwin's video didn't take place in 1986. It should have ended with Wilford's promo and the Clamantha/Koi Fish videos should have been moved to before that. It wouldn't have changed the episode much; but the Wilford one is the proper finish with Antia around. Otherwise; a fun episode. So...

Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time!

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