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Fish Hooks

Fish Taco/I Have This Friend... Rant

Reviewed: 05/21/2017

I Have This Friend Who Wants To Eat Fish Tacos!

We start by exploring the lives of our characters through the perspective of a taco traveling across the Freshwater Mall food court. Then from there; Shellsea reveals that she’s having trouble finding a date, so her friends secretly plan to find her a man. Yes folks; Shellsea is finally going to have an actual relationship. So; let's rant on shall we...?

Fish Taco is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards are done by Maxwell Atoms, C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss; while the direction is done by C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss. I Have This Friend... is written by Maxwell Atoms, Darrick Bachman, C.H. Greenblatt, Craig Lewis, William Reiss and Noah Z. Jones. Storyboards are done by William Reiss and directed by C.H. Greenblatt and William Reiss. All episodes are done with Toon Boom; thus correcting a serious mistake I made calling this series (and Kick Buttowski for that matter) done in Flash. My opinion is the exact same: Medium don't matter; talent does.

Fish Taco: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Free Tacos. ) as there are a lot of pinatas outside along with colored tricycles. Inside, Bud has a Mexican hat on and is running away stage left in a panic being chased by Wilford; ending with Bud hiding into an out of nowhere, conveniently placed mouse hole. Pfft; whatever. So we head to the Fish Mall and the iTaco Face booth with Milo, Oscar, Bea and Escarmargot. So Fimberly has since been fired from her job? Mexcian music plays in the background as we stare for a while, while blueberry grandma (from Bea Saves A Tree) arrives riding on an ATV wheelchair. I'll be honest, I would love to get one of those. Another dark skinned face arrives doing the same grumbling sounds. Two fish women talk to each other about calling someone over and over again. The clerks are bored; except for Bea who thinks today might be different. No one is buying this; and no one should be surprised. Oh wait; Fimberly is making the taco and comes to the microphone, so she's still working there. Sorry about that. Fimberly is on the microphone calling for #85 and no one sells it; so they hate this place as much as I do. Not a good sign for the business; and then in comes Fish Vartan waving a piece of paper claiming that he's #85 and Fimberly gives him the taco. Vartan claims that he'll enjoy this taco with the strength of a thousand men. Pfft; shoot lightning from your ass and then I will be impressed. YOLO~! Vartan leaves; and in comes an orange skinned fish showing that he's #85 and Fimberly freaks out because it's coming out of her paycheque. Never mind soiling the reputation of the companies being compentent, it's always about your money, Fimberly. So we see Vartan awkwardly make it to his table and we discover that he has a girlfriend named Sara. Vartan's cell phone rings and it looks like a black colored version of Paul E.'s cellphone of doom. It's his boss; who barks like a dog, as Vartan has only five minute breaks and he's on minute four. The union says: BARK BARK! Vartan sweats like he's at Oscar's house and relents as he bails pleading for his boss not to fire him. In floats Shellsea and a twin look-a-like and I think his name is Michael as they notice the taco. Shellsea puts the taco in her purse as Mukaluck doesn't have much to say if anything. They talk; I don't listen nor care since they pretty much have nothing of note to say. So they float away and go to a clothing store to buy jeans.

Shellsea wants some Assawash Boot Jeans (I think that is what she said) and talks to a brown haired ponytail orange male fish clerk with golden earrings and the clerk takes three seconds to turn around before declaring that they have no jeans like that. Shellsea demands the store manager and in comes a green fish with darker brown hair spiral floating down and farts. Shellsea demands answers to this outrage and calls one of the employees a princess. The store manager claims that they don't have it in Shellsea's size, which means that they do sell them, but not in Shellsea's size. Did they just imply that Shellsea is too fat? Odd; because she looks much thinner than the other two store clerks. Shellsea is pissed; but Michael stops her at the pass as Michael is trying to be reasonable with her; but Shellsea is in hissing cat mode today. So basically; Michael's plan is to throw the fish taco away and have it run interference while he steals the green trunks bathing suit as shown in the flashback. So yes; in storyline, Michael is a shoplifter. We return to reality (no, not really) as Shellsea proclaims that this is changing her life. It sure is; to a life of crime. Michael tells her to stop being too emotional as they do the old taco on a fishing pole distraction as the store clerks are confused. So Shellsea checks the rack and there is a pair of jeans that are clearly her size as they fish the clerk over to the register and Shellsea pays them fish money; and then they bail without giving them the taco because Shellsea declares them rude. Okay; that was awesome and it made the clerks look like the heels. Nice booking there. I discover that the place is called Unleaded as the store clerks are chasing Michael and Shellsea because they want the fish taco. Do you get the sense that this is what they wanted all along, and if they got it, they would have given her the jeans anyway? Michael proclaims that they must ditch the taco as we talk and talk some more before Michael flips the taco backwards. Jump cut to Clamantha and a fat pink squid in purple gear. According to the Fish Hooks wiki, he's Dumpy Muffins as they both head to a candle store to meet with his cousin who is looking for candles and the fish taco lands on the floor. You know; this episode would have been a lot better if the episode was shown from the taco's prespective as it was supposed to, instead of just being staged like a normal episode. I'm just saying, show. Clamantha seriously thinks the taco is Nikki and then bounces into the candle store.

Pfft; whatever. Dumpy grabs the taco and thinks it's Nikki too before entering. In comes Nikki, who has purple hair and red lips; as she proclaims that she is supposed to wait here next to these stains. Jump cut to the candle store and guess who is at the counter on his cell phone...It's Fish Vartan again. Apparently; he's protesting this outrage, I'm guessing he's telling this to his union boss and calls this torture. His name is Boo by the way as Clamantha and Dumpy Muffins enter in shock and awe; as Vartan hangs up. Dumpy is overwhelmed by the selection as Fish Vartan comes in doing his hard sell promo as we discover that the shop is named Homestead Candles. Dumpy is not amused by this sell as Vartan shows off the food scented candles and then sweats because he's hungry. Clamantha explains that they are shopping for Nikki as Dumpy shows off the taco; and Fish Vartan is sweating bullets. I swear he might be Oscar's long lost father; as Vartan thinks is the fish taco he lost when he left. So we head to the counter and wants to give the taco a white plate as a special chair to sit down. Even Clamantha isn't fooled by this BS; which is funny considering that she was fooled by a laptop. Vartan insists that it's a chair and Dumpy puts the taco onto it. Clamantha notices Vartan in slow motion trying to eat the taco and panics because you see, she thinks it's Nikki. So she isn't fooled by a plate, but is fooled by a taco. Some things never change. Vartan bails and we get the SCOOBY-DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE FISH VARTAN TACO EDITION~! Vartan is "cornered" even though Vartan clearly can run stage left since Dumpy forgot to cut off the left side. Clamantha demands Nikki; but Vartan no sells because he's Fish Vartan and he must eat. So we throws a giant cheeseburger scented candle at Dumpy and he gets flattened like my sex life. Clamantha is pissed and blitzes Vartan as she chomps on Fish Vartan's head. I don't know who to feel sympathy for: Vartan's head or Clamantha's jaw in that setup. Zoinks! Vartan spins around the shop and knocks down candles and stuff before rolling out of the shop; trips over Nikki (the real clam) and crashes onto the floor. Clamantha and Nikki bail stage left to get their ears pierced and leave Dumpy in the store flattened. Some friend Clamantha is. Vartan panics about the taco as it flies and bonks off Jocktopus' noggin as he is looking at some dork flying a drone and then the taco flies into a pet store and splashes into a fish tank containing a white snail.

I should note the irony of a fish pet store despite the whole world taking place inside a pet store. Then a shrimp crab comes in and gets into the taco as we see Jumbo Shrimp and Angela (complete with the always funny "I Heart Nerds" T-shirt) as the store is called Fish Buddies Pets & Meta Pets. They head inside and pet the bunnies for a while as Jumbo Shrimp ponders the question of bunnies living underwater. After all the episodes of this angle; NOW even the characters are questionning this "F*ck Logic!" thing. Albert pops up out of nowhere like an RKO as he is the store clerk; and claims that they are water bunnies. So yes; the Dumb Bunnies are not as absurd as you might think. Jumbo Shrimp blows him off and Albert basically tells them to leave; because the store manager doesn't allow food nor drink in the store. Take one guess who is the store manager...yip, it's Barb. Jumbo Shrimp laughs it off because there is no food and drink on them as Barb points out that there is a taco on his head and Jumbo Shrimp continues to laugh. Damn; it would have been funnier if Barb pointed out that his name was Jumbo Shrimp and shrimp is a food item after all. Jumbo Shrimp then notices it and panics; because it's stuck on his head. No one is amused as Angela is trying to get it off JS's head, struggling. Albert tells them to leave; or else Barb will fire him and the couple swims out of the store trying to get the taco off of him. Angela finally gets the taco off of him and throws it into the trash. Angela asks of JS wants to play at the video game barn and the couple bails stage right. Out comes the fish taco twinkletoeing as we cut to Bo Gregory at the counter of the Video Game Bar as the new game available is Possum Rage. In fact; it's the only video game in the entire store. Damn; the fish video game market is much worse off than the real one. Bo Gregory tells them to leave because there is no outside food nor drink. JS insists they have...Oh wait; the taco is now on Angela's head as they panic and run out of the store. Jumbo Shrimp pulls the taco off Angela's head and throws it away as Angela is shaken by this. Jumbo Shrimp calms her down and we bail for some cosplaying in the photo booth. Taco gets on Jumbo Shrimp's head and we cosplay vikings, Spock, English denizens, vampires, and witches in the photo booth for fun. So they head outside the photo booth and they look at the photos. JS shows Angela the photos and asks her what she sees. She sees that damn taco in the photos and Jumbo Shrimp is deducing that the taco is an alien from...

Staci: Don't say it!
Bradley: Uranus!
Staci: Real mature, B-man!

Up crawls the alien fish taco (No, not really; but close enough...) as Angela panics and grabs a purse from Koi's purse booth. Koi just stands there doing absolutely nothing. Angela whacks Jumbo Shrimp in...not the face; and somehow Jumbo Shrimp flies and land on a conveniently placed green bench in the background. The alien taco of doom bonks off and lands in Angela's head now and she panics. This is the same show that allowed JS to punch Oscar in the face a dozen times full bore, on-screen without any covering up; but JS cannot be hit in the face in this episode. WHAT?! So Jumbo Shrimp tackles Angela down and they tumble like little kids into the Unleaded pants store and Angela's glasses are damaged; but the fish taco twinkletoes away stage right. They panic as Angela wants JS to kill it. Oh come on, guys! It might be an alien; but he's hardly the EVIL ONE~! The taco is bleeding hot sauce and the nerds bail to get some protective gear as the pants section is scattering pants as the pony tailed store clerk arrives and notices the taco has come back. I discover that the spiraling green fish's name is Billy. I might as well get this out of the way now: Fish Girl #1 is voiced by Kris Zimmerman Salter and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Kris Zimmerman Salter is a voice and casting director in the animation and video game industry. Her major works include the Metal Gear Solid series. In the cartoons, she has directed episodes for Ben 10, The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest, Regular Show and Fish Hooks.A theatre major, she started working at Hanna-Barbera as a talent coordinator for Wildfire in 1986. She has also directed and cast the voices for a number of games, including Onimusha 3, Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver, Grandia II, La Pucelle, Sword of the Berserk: Guts' Rage and No More Heroes. In addition, she also directed and/or cast the voices for various TV animated series, such as Cow and Chicken, The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, and its spin-offs Evil Con Carne and Underfist: Halloween Bash, Johnny Bravo, SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron, Ben 10 and The Jetsons (for which she was a talent coordinator). Currently, she is the voice director for Regular Show. She was married to voice actor Patric Zimmerman (the voice of Revolver Ocelot) for nine years, until 1992/1993.[3] They continue to work together. She begin her career on Wildfire in 1986. Fish Hook is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Regular Show, Infinity Train, Kong: King Of The Apes and Bottom's Butte are her most recent credits. She has 90 Casting Director credits, 139 Misc credits, 26 Sound Department credits, 17 Casting Department credits, 3 Production Manager credits, 13 Acting credits, 2 Second Unit Director credits, 1 Thanks credit and 2 Self credits to her resume. Her video game credits also include Fire Emblem: Fates and Codename: STEAM! Yeah; not that it matters to TaleSpin fans, since Tress MacNeille, Edie McClurg, S. Scott Bullock and Jim Cummings have voiced this show anyway.

The ponytail store clerk's name is Mandy by the way as Mandy wants to eat the taco and Billy stops him. Because they must follow protocol and eat in the food court. So they bail out to the food court and we head back to the beginning of the episode with Fimberly resting on the counter of iTaco Face with the other babyfaces watching on. Fimberly is whining about her gaffe and is in tears as Billy and Mandy spiral down and land in the table with taco in hand. They cannot wait to eat the free taco as we anime background over to Fish Vartan noticing the taco and smelling it. Vartan runs in yelling as we jump cut to Michael and Shellsea at a table as they miss the taco. Michael sniffs the air and smells a free taco. Billy and Mandy tease eating the taco together as Michael and Shellsea run in upending one of the tables like Shigeru Miyamoto on a "video game changer" whim. Fish Vartan runs in on a pan shot and then Jumbo Shrimp and Angela run in wearing colored helmets and a worm bait stick. One of them claims that Billy and Mandy will die. No crap, Sherlock as they tackle down the couple and we get the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST FIGHT OF DEATH as the taco flies into the air and lands on the counter right in front of Fimberly. Fimberly declares that this is a miracle as she calls for #85 and the customer who originally ordered the taco shows up and the taco is now the most disgusting thing imaginable, complete with flies, hairs, a band-aid and a bird's foot. #85 decides not to take it; but Fimberly blows him off and shoves it in his face because it's not coming out of her paycheque. #85 takes it and leaves anyway repulsed. Fimberly waves goodbye, and she is so fired just for that! Milo whines that this is boring and the final shot has Fish Vartan on his cellphone talking to Sara as they are making tacos tonight as he screams YOLO to end the episode at 10:20 approx. This was what it was; but the lack of framing really hurt this episode. ** 3/4 (55%).

I Have This Friend...: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM (Sign: Extra Fries. ) AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we see a newscast with a cat and a dog. HAHA! Who says dogs and cats cannot get along?! So we head to Bea's room with her friends as Bea boots up her laptop and speaks on the microphone as Bea channels her inner iCarly on us. It's the Dee Doo podcast complete with snapping fingers. And yes; this is a catchphrase. Of course, the first topic is hot boys, because it's always about the most obvious stereotype of a girl. So they go over the hot boys as Brandon Blubber (Fimberly and Albert Glass (Escarmargot) are obvious choices, Koi grunts so I have no clue who she likes. Bea then asks Clamantha about her hot boy and Clamantha's heart eyes say Oscar as Shellsea claims it's an entire football team. Delete Dee Doo! Next topic: music. It's no contest as everyone loves Brandon Blubber's music. Screw you; Bjort's music is better than Brandon's. The final topic of the day is when things get real. Wait a second, so the previous two topics were only a work? BOO HISS! Bea does a jackhammer background and does something to her face as it's time for personal issues. Wait; shouldn't be: Personal Fishues~?! Crickets chirp as we look at the monitor as it's called the Deedly Do! Podcast; so I'm sorry for confusing everyone. Sadly; it has only eight listeners. Wait; that how many people read my rants per year. I just knew they would take a shot at me at some point. Yawn. Oh wait; it's down to two listeners. Bea wants someone to talk and Fimberly speaks up; but gets cut off by Shellsea. Bea is surprised that confident Shellsea has personal fishues. Shellsea claims that it's about her friend who is hot and pink and all that crap. Fimberly is confusing herself as usual as she asks why they have never seen her friend. Shellsea explains that this friend goes to a school for hot fishes and Shellsea is not a hot friend, you see. He is so hot that he intimidates everyone, so he cannot get a date. Ummm; that is usually a sign that he's a total asshole. Oh wait; no wonder Shellsea is his friend then. Shellsea goes on a rant about beautifulness and basically told her friend not to change; which is the hot advice of an asshole and then is so worked up that she pants. Shellsea bails stage left as Bea and her friends look at each other and feel bad about it. Bea thanks her listeners for listening -- all two of them -- and then shuts down the laptop. Yeah.

So we head to the ROMAN ARENA OF DEATH as the bell rings and head to I believe is either the library or the cafetera. Clamantha drinking juice indicates that it's the later. Fimberly makes cuckoo clock sounds for no reason at all and then panics as we zoom out to Oscar and Milo's table as they admit to listening to their podcast about Shellsea's rant. Bea tells them to be quiet as we head to the food line with Shellsea blowing off the cafetera lunch guy with purple gloves as Shellsea wanted extra fries with her meal. She even calls the lunch guy a sad, sad woman as Milo deduces that she's in one of those moods. Yeah; the one that makes people want to either flee the scene or punch her in the face. Neither one makes her look good. Milo claims that this mood is proof that Shellsea cannot get a date. Bea claims that there is no evidence that she cannot get a date; because the evidence shows that it's her friend who cannot get a date. Milo thinks she's lying and decided to talk it over with Oscar over some bonbons. Geez; what creeps these two douchebros are?! They deduced that they never saw Shellsea with a boyfriend before. Well; Shellsea did say it was "a friend"; not a "boyfriend", so this actually makes sense, sort of. Bea blows it off as absurd as we HIT THE FLASHBACK~ with Shellsea outside the Burger Bunny drive-thru on her cellphone calling Bea because she's bored. We return to reality (no, not really) as Bea relates to Shellsea on a wooden bench in Pupu Goodtimes Pupu as Shellsea is calling Bea to get back here because she's bored and holding a soda container while sitting on said bench. She drinks it; I yawn. So we go to promo UNDER THE SEA as Shellsea wants a burrito as we have a dance rave. I think Bea is running out of alibis for Shellsea to not have an actual boyfriend. Shellsea drinks up, claims she's bored and bails out of course. Bea finally concedes that Milo's evidence is sound and Milo will test her as in comes Shellsea with her tray of extra fries as she blows off the lunch guy again for withholding the damn fries as Shellsea claims that the lunch guy is doing it because it's the only power she has in this world. Shellsea finds a bottle of ketchup and starts pouring it as she's shocked and appalled. WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?! Hee hee! Milo starts drawing a badly drawn Shellsea and holds it up; asking what Shellsea sees in it. Shellsea claims it's her and I have a hard time justifying that. Milo then draws a sad face in black marker. Huh.

I don't get where this is going, Milo. Shellsea claims it's a sadface and Milo deduces that she's sad; which Shellsea demands answers to this outrage. When it comes to the mind; Milo is the dumbest choice to be a "master" of it. I'm just saying. Shellsea blows them off, takes her tray and leaves; calling them all weird and crap. She wants to eat her fries in peace. Good luck on that one, Shellsea. Bea claims that this proves nothing; and then proclaims that they have to help her anyway. Umm; Bea, if the test proves nothing, then you should just leave her alone. Milo claims that Shellsea needs a man as a friend. Fimberly finally admits that Shellsea is such an asshole that she scares people. Geez; I'm shocked Bea and her friends would ever want her around them in this case. Milo wants to find one who could put up with Shellsea's antics. This sounds like a really bad idea. So we head to the Freshwater Mall as the babyfaces are in the mall dressed up in suits and ties with glasses on. Except for Escarmargot, who just has the tie and glasses on. They also have clipboards with them as Milo calls this the most challenging moment in their fishy lives. I shouldn't chuckle at this; but that did sound funny to me. So everyone shakes hands and it's time to find a compatible man for Shellsea. Let's go. Milo and Oscar go to the Churros Stand as we have a brown haired fish wearing purple striped shirt and a purple bow tie yelling for people to get their Churros. A churro is a fried-dough pastry—predominantly choux—based snack. Churros are popular in Spain, Portugal, France, the Philippines, Ibero-America and the Southwestern United States. In Spain, churros can either be thin or long and thick. The man is named Churro Pasquello by the way as Milo gets a free churro for his troubles. Oscar and Milo bail as Oscar asks Milo why they didn't ask him to date Shellsea and Milo claims that he would never have time to make churros if he dates Shellsea and does the LOOK OF DEATH with jackhammered background. I cannot argue that overwhelming logic there, Milo. They giggle and walk off as we jump cut to Bea and Fimberly going to Le Foot Cabinet, which is basically a shoe store and is not selling cabinets. REFUND! At the counter is the store clerk with brown hair and a green shirt staring with a smile at the two fish coming in. Bea asks if he's single and the store clerk claims that he is; and he likes fashion as well. Duh; he owns a shoe store.

Bea then asks if he wants to date Shellsea and he says no of course. Bea and Fimberly look at each other and ask if the shoes are on sale and he claims that they are. I would ask why he doesn't want to date Shellsea and have him say no; because that would be funnier in a "yesno" sort of way. A monkey wrench in the system, if you will. Bea and Fimberly walk out with boxes of shoes as the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM beckons. It sounds like a bad rap song by the way. Then we head to Elegante as this is apparently; an exotic shop. Guess who is the store's manager...wait for it...wait for it...Yes; it's Fish Vartan again. Why isn't he on the main Disney roster now?! He is so much heads and shoulder above almost everyone on this show now. He is selling a glow in the dark neon baby light made of horse hair and baby dolls. I am not making this up and even the fish look at each other like "What the hell is this and how are we going to get out of here alive?!". Escarmargot cuts to the chase and Vartan brings out a blue colored toilet that changed colors at random as Vartan dodges the question. Yes, even Fish Vartan wants no part of Shellsea. To be fair; Vartan does have a wife named Sara, so a date would be out of the question at this point, even if it was a totally plutonic date. I just love the "17th-centuary trapastry" that changes color on command; which is made of plastic canvas yarn and has the picture of a cellphone on it. That made me laugh. Oh; didn't see you there Clamantha, the episode I have is cropped of course as she laughs. I agree, that was actually funny. Vartan laughs as Escarmargot asks what nightmare is this? Ummm; yours. YOLO~! HAHA! You only live once. I disagree; Vartan clearly hasn't lived one time in his life; because he might be a robot like Fishington is. So we head to the food court as Milo and Oscar appear without their formal gear as Milo wonders how everyone did. Bea and Fimberly comes in trying out the shoes, although Fimberly is still wearing the white shirt. The others bring in a brass cheetah which of course changes color on cue with sparks. Milo cannot believe this failure of finding a boyfriend for Shellsea. Well; it's because we already know Shellsea has a friend and you idiots cannot understand plutonic relationships. Fimberly wonders what to do. I hope they would give up; but there is still about five minutes left, so no go. So they deduce that they need a clone of Shellsea; even though there's no chance in hell of that. Isn't there?!

And then we head to the front line of Burger Bunny Express (complete with fishbowl wearing rabbit) as Michael is at the front line acting exactly like Shellsea. This would have been a minor big deal if they didn't deubt Fish Taco first; but Disney execs are bigger morons who have money, so there you go. Bea proclaims that they have now found the perfect match. So yes; we repeat every spot Shellsea did in the episode early on, including the babyfaces staring at him. Milo asks who he is and his name is Michael as Bea asks if he would mind answering a few questions. Michael says "maybe" which usually means yes; but Bea sees it as no and we ask away. Informed consent, what's that? So question #1 is absurd and I won't repeat it here even though Michael got it right. Michael also loves hot girls and the babyfaces are loving it and slapping fins. The final question is that Bea and Oscar talk about crap and he responds with the first thing in his mind. Oh; this should be fun to mock. Oscar puts on a viking helmet and talks about elf lords as sirens wail on cue as Michael calls this a nerd alert. Of course, this is enough for everyone to cheer. So Bea gives a coupon for a free milkshake at the Hokey Poke and Milo chimes in that he must redeen it at exactly seven pm. Michael bails and proclaims that he never passes up on a free milkshake. So we head to the Hokey Poke AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as the babyfaces all meet. Oscar brings in a saxophone for the occasion. Do you get the fact that I think these fish are stupid idiots?! Albert brings the soft romantic lights and Bea has the free milkshake of course. Milo is drinking the profits as usual; so Bea blows him off. In comes Michael spiraling down and being bored in a general sense. In comes Shellsea sitting down and she's bored. They talk for a while as Bea is loving this and this just proves how idiotic everyone except Shellsea and Michael are: Shellsea and Michael are not pretending that they haven't met each other at all. And none of the fish around them act clueless as if this is the most romantic thing possible. This is so stupid as Bea pushes Milo forward as Milo gives them the milkshakes and gets in between them and tries to make small talk. Can't they enjoy their milkshakes in peace for once in your lives, you stalking little fathead?! And yes; I'm talking about Milo here. Michael don't care about shoes and slaps skin with Shellsea on that one. Geez Milo; how can anyone not notice the obvious here?!

Michael calls Shellsea hot after a slap in the back from Milo; which might as well be assault at this point. Shellsea agrees with Milo with Michael being awesome and basically is annoyed at Milo because it's ruining their buzz. Milo is such a manchild that he doesn't have the two clicks in the making of a clue that these two are in fact friends. Then again; neither does Bea, Oscar and everyone else around them, so there you go. Milo is giddy that Michael isn't intimidated by Shellsea and bails. Good; let them enjoy themselves in peace. So Milo comes over to Oscar claiming that it's working; but it's time to step it up to seal the deal. What deal?! There's no deal to seal because they are already friends. Anyone with an IQ of eight and over would have noticed that by now. So Oscar plays his saxophone as Koi lifts the Hokey Poke; I don't know why she needs to do that. Oh; it's to slide it so Michael and Shellsea can do some kissy-kissy. They also lose their milkshakes, too. Bea is loving this; I don't think the "happy" couple is though; and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Shellsea finally realizes what is going on and yells at Bea, because Michael IS her friend. Bea is shocked and appalled as everyone joins in realizing that Shellsea was telling the truth. If I was put in this situation; I would unfriend these losers because they didn't trust me in what I told was the truth even though the truth was IN FRONT OF THEIR DAMN FACES THE ENTIRE TIME~! Koi drops the Hokey Poke on cue and Michael/Shellsea's kiss feast ends quickly. Good; I don't blame them. Shellsea demands answers to this outrage as Milo basically explains how stupid he actually is, complete with assumpations and stuff that had nothing to do with Shellsea's friend. So Bea was only trying to help...in bed as Shellsea explains that Michael doesn't have a date and Oscar deduces that she should just date Michael and then goes into denial. Why are you bothering with this, Oscar? It's not like everyone in the school (a) doesn't know and (b) doesn't care. Especially Angela; who damn well knows it now. Michael and Shellsea make small talk as the hotness is canceled out; but they leave together anyway to get a hot pizza and Bea is happy. Fimberly isn't amused as she holds her left cheek and that ends the episode at 10:20 approx. Listen Fimberly; no one cares about you anymore, most so the writers. So it worked out as well as it could have had. Live with it! What a dull and boring episode this was as everyone except Michael, Shellsea and Fish Vartan looked stupid in the process. ** 1/2 (50%).

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THE REVIEW LINE

In the end; a bunch of middling shorts dot this rant session. Fish Taco was decent enough for what it was; given the content as it was ten minutes of random antics with little reason nor context and it had a finish and ending. I would he liked it more if they had framed the episode from the prespective of the actual taco, because that would make for funnier visuals if nothing else. Otherwise; it felt like a random episode of any modern cartoon where they had no storyline to fill and just have them do stuff. I Have This Friend on the other hand was boring to me. It's easy to get mad at yet another misunderstanding plot; but this was so obvious that no one should have misunderstood that Shellsea and Michael were already friends and it made almost everyone involved look like idiots in the process and idiots that I would unfriend as soon as they pulled off this crap; because they don't even trust me to tell the truth even when it was in their face the entire time. Fish Vartan was funny as always (in both shorts for that matter); but otherwise, it was a paint by the numbers episode with a predictable finish and ending. Michael and Shellsea are a fine couple; but nothing special because they have overdone this angle so much that it's not surprising anymore. In other words, not much in the way of shorts in this round. So next up is the final two shorts of this series and then we head to Camp Camp and The Big Woo. Yeah; I'm pumped. No, not really. So...

Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you all next time!

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