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Gravity Falls: Tourist Trapped
Reviewed: 10/18/2014
Welcome To The Gravity Tourist Trap!! Hope You Don't Fall Over It?!
Hello kiddies; it's time for another new Disney show! Now before you groan about this like you normally do at the age of 35 and not realizing that you will never be part of Disney's target audience, the show I picked to rant on is probably the best show in the new Disney? How can that happen Mr. Weagle? Phineas & Ferb has ratings, movies, OAVs and crossovers! How can anyone beat that? Phineas & Ferb is also sloppy and has Candance who's gimmick has run dry and the whole show reeks of repetitiness on par with a Roadrunner cartoon (although god bless them for trying to twist the formula into pretzels). Sometimes; you need just a little Scooby-Doo equse adventure with mystery and more compelling characters to bring on the adventure and comedy to equal keel. Welcome to the Rant Shack....Gravity Falls! The falls you wouldn't mind going over; but you are more likely to go up them instead of down. Here's the summary of the show:
For their summer vacation, 12-year-old twins Dipper and Mabel Pines are dropped off from their home in Piedmont, California to the fictitious town of Gravity Falls, Oregon to live with their Great Uncle Stan (often shortened to Grunkle Stan). Things are not what they seem in this small town, and with the help of a mysterious journal Dipper finds in the forest they realize that their everyday lifestyle has changed. With appearances from Wendy, Dipper's crush; Soos, friend of Dipper and Mabel and handyman to Grunkle Stan; plus an assortment of other characters, Dipper and Mabel always have an intriguing day to look forward to.
This sounds like Scooby-Doo Mystery Incorporated doesn't it? However; there is one major difference: Gravity Falls focuses on the mystery of the area where Mystery Inc reveals in romance and fridging Velma to extreme extents. When I first saw clips of this shows (and several animated GIFS from Kevin Johnson's tumblr blog); this looked like a pretty interesting show. I wondered how much BS&P'ing they would do in the show; and I sort of got an answer in one of the clips I saw as they showed a pentacle on one of the pages. In other words; not much BS&P. I also saw Mabel for the first time and I can say is, there's the new Disney's Kit Cloudkicker right there: full of energy, she gets heat by moving and she does awesome stuff for my pleasure and I cheer for her and then feel bad for her when she does something great and then realizing that other shows did it first, and she did them better. I'll explain this when we cross those falls so to speak. Gravity Falls debuted on Disney Channel as a preview after the movie Let It Shine aired and it garnered 3.6 Million viewers which is not as good as Fish Hooks' debut, but this show actually has done better in the ratings than Fish Hooks has in growing the audience with a low of 2.6 million and has been as high as 4.5 million viewers. Nowhere near Phineas & Ferb levels, but who is going to stop the new Looney Tunes show from Disney anyway? Gravity Falls is Alex Hirsch's baby which you know him being the voice of Clamantha. The voice he did for Clamantha sucked; but his writing and animation skills are great as he first created this as a student film from the California Institute Of The Arts. I know that some do not like that organization; but this is more credible than in 1990 when they were literally pitching shows on motionless cue cards and conceding shows in three days. Also known as: Only Jymn Magon could pull it off. The show was renewed for a second season (Good...For....Them!) and is running on Disney XD right now. Now I'm only going to do the first six episodes on DVD because I have made the decision that in November and December; I'm going to start doing prep work, Christmas specials with Bonkers and Kick Buttowski, and start on the 25 Years Of TaleSpin celebration (because I don't trust Disney to get this right, even if they are selling Volume 3 at Walmart right now). So let's begin at the beginning with the twins coming to Gravity Falls and Mabel dates an "undead zombie" and Dipper is paranoid. One I don't like and one I really, really like. You might be surprised at which is which...or not. So; let's begin shall we...?!
Tourist Trapped is written by Alex "Clamantha" Hirsch. Storyboards were done by Matt Braly, Erik Fountain, Mark Gracia, Alonso Ramirez Ramos and Niki Yang; while direction is done by John Aoshima. John Aoshima started on Futurama in 1999 and from there worked on The Whizzard of Ow, The Simpsons, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The LeBrons, Family Guy, American Dad and has a thanks in DeadHeads. Gravity Falls and Wild Over Yonder are his DTVA credits. That's it. Matt Braly has only this show and Turbo to his resume; and maybe Adam & Dog. Erik Fountain has only this show, Adventure Time, Enchanted and The Princess & The Frog on his resume. Mark Gracia's resume: Rugrats in 2002, All Grown Up, Rocket Power in 2000 (his debut), American Dad, As Told By Ginger, Family Guy, Pac-Man & The Ghostly Adventures and this show. That's it. Alonso has this show and Mickey Mouse 2013 edition to his resume. Wow; that is a rookie bunch?! The animation was done by Rough Draft who has done mostly Phineas & Ferb in the past; which explains the animation style to a T actually.
So yes; this show is like a 1990's CBS show (like Raw Toonage) in that we have an opening sequence with a shot of a sunny sky as a male voice proclaims that it's summer break. Then we zoom out at we see a brown haired man with a mustache wearing a green shirt with a duck tattoo on the left side of the chest. He's on the BBQ cooking hamburger as he asks if his wife wants cheese on top and she responds that she does; calling her Hank. Hank is voiced by Fred Tatasciore by the way. I'm think the wife is the same one who voiced Finberly in Fish Hooks. Then we get a monologue from Dipper who said summer break as we see a bunch of six year old kids chasing each other; and then pan over to a bunch of adults eating burgers on a picnic table with a picnic basket on top. The tablecloth looks like cheese color with white spots; which is an interesting way of saying how cheesy this group can be. Then we pan over and see a billboard which reads "Welcome to Gravity Falls"; and the picture looks like they slapped the Gravity Falls logo on it; and removed the Disney part. Okay. So they crash through and we see a little boy and a little girl driving a golf table destroying it barely 16 seconds in, just to get the "destroy people's properties" out of the way. To be fair; it isn't with impunity. The golf cart has a red question mark on it, a speaker, and it's out of control. It sways from side to side as we discover that they are being chased by some monster because we see in the forest, something felling trees. The girl on the cart is panicking (as well they should) as the black colored monster tries to grab them, and the golf cart springs off a large rock. It spins 360 degrees and then lands perfectly on the ground as we zoom in on the boy who is wearing a pink shirt and a vest as we discover that his name is Dipper; and then introduces the girl who is wearing a purple sparkle sweater, star earrings and a green headband; almost ready to vomit is known as Mabel. So the monster throws one of the trees and it lands in the middle of the road as Dipper is about to collide into said tree; and then the action stops. Dipper monologues that there is a perfectly logical explaination to this. Yeah; I'll bet.
This sequence lasted 57 seconds and it actually did a wonderful job of showing the premise of the show in less time than TaleSpin did with I Only Have Ice For You. This is a great sign for the show because it managed to not be boring while getting the message across in 1/5 the time it took TaleSpin to do it. Dipper Pines is voiced by Jason Ritter and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Ritter appeared in The Dreamer of Oz: The L. Frank Baum Story, co-starring as Baum's son alongside his own father. He appeared in the movie PG (2002), and one year later played a role in Swimfan. In 2003, Ritter had a major role in the slasher/horror film Freddy vs. Jason as Will Rollins. He appeared in Raise Your Voice and Happy Endings. He portrayed Jeb Bush in the Oliver Stone film W. In 2007, he also voiced substitute teacher, Mr. Fisk, in an episode of All Grown Up, the grown up version of Rugrats, a teacher whom Angelica falls in love with. In 2008, he released Good Dick, a movie which he produced and starred in along with his girlfriend, Marianna Palka, who also wrote and directed the film. Among his theater credits are Wendy Wasserstein's Third at Lincoln Center, for which he won the Clarence Derwent Award and the Martin E. Segal Award for his portrayal of the title character; the Off Broadway production of The Beginning of August, and the role of Tim in the world premiere of Neil LaBute's play The Distance From Here at London's Almeida Theatre. Ritter has volunteered as an actor with the Young Storytellers Program. Ritter has appeared in the MTV show Punk'd. Ritter also starred as Sean Walker in the season-long NBC drama series The Event, which premiered on September 20, 2010.[4][5] Ritter will be seen alongside Kate French in the upcoming short film, Atlantis, a romance film centered around two strangers who fall in love during the preparation for the final launch of the NASA space shuttle Atlantis.[6] He has a recurring role on NBC's Parenthood.[7][8][9]
His performance on the show earned him an Emmy Award nomination in 2012.[10] It was confirmed in early March 2013 that he will play Gavin opposite Alexis Bledel's Stacey in Us & Them, FOX's sitcom pilot based on Gavin & Stacey.[11] He began his career in The Dreamer of Oz television movie as Harry Neal Baum in 1990. Gravity Falls is his DTVA debut and only appearance. I Fought The Law as Charlie Manson is his most recent credit. He has 75 acting credits, 41 Self credits and three production credits (Oh My Soul, Good Dick and This Is My Friend) to his resume. Mabel Pines is voiced by Kristen Schaal and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Schaal rose to national attention for her role on HBO's Flight of the Conchords as the stalker-fan Mel, a role which earned her an Ewwy nomination for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series in 2009. She was also a credited consultant and writer for Season 11 of South Park, appeared on the BBC's Never Mind the Buzzcocks as a contestant on Noel Fielding's Team, and played the boss in Fuse's mockumentary The Intern. She made her first appearance as a "special commentator" on Comedy Central's The Daily Show on March 13, 2008. She is often presented as The Daily Show "Senior Women's Issues Correspondent". On April 13, 2008, she made an appearance on Good News Week during the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and in October 2008 she appeared in Amnesty International's The Secret Policeman's Ball 2008. Her other film and television credits include Kate and Leopold, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Snake 'n' Bacon, Norbit, Get Him to the Greek, Conviction, Cheap Seats, Freak Show, Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant, Adam and Steve, The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, Delirious, Australian show Good News Week, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, The Education of Max Bickford, Comedy Central's Contest Searchlight, Ugly Betty, How I Met Your Mother, MTV's Human Giant and Mad Men.
She was also a contributor to the sketch/music series The Nighttime Clap on the Fuse music network. She also appeared on Fuse's original comedy series The P.A. Schaal appeared in two TV pilots written and directed by Jersey City comedian Dan McNamara -- The Calderons[10] and Redeeming Rainbow,[11] both of which were screened as official selections at the 2006 and 2007 New York Television Festivals. She was also in television commercials for Wendy's, RadioShack, and Starburst. She made an appearance, in April 2008, on the IFC sketch comedy show The Whitest Kids U' Know. On April 3, 2009 she taped an episode of Comedy Central Presents.[12] In 2010, she added her voice to the PBS Kids GO! series WordGirl as Victoria Best, a child prodigy whose parents taught her to be the best at everything that she does.[13] Kristen currently voices 12-year-old Mabel Pines on Disney Channel's Gravity Falls. She also voices the character, Louise, on the FOX Network series Bob's Burgers. She also stars in A. D. Miles' MyDamnChannel.com series Horrible People. In October 2008, Schaal appeared in an episode of Spicks and Specks. On June 10, 2009, Schaal broadcast her first radio show, High Five!!, on Sirius XM Radio's 'RawDog' channel with co-host Kurt Braunohler.[14] She played Gertha Teeth in the 2009 movie The Vampire's Assistant. Schaal stars in her own web series, Penelope Princess of Pets, one episode of which doubled as the video for the New Pornographers' "Mutiny, I Promise You".[15] She voiced Trixie the Triceratops in Toy Story 3 and Pumpkin Witch and Palace Witch in Shrek Forever After.[16] She also in the music video for Joey Ramone's "New York City". She also guest starred in the Modern Family episode "Fifteen Percent", as well as the music video for "Conversation 16" by The National.
Schaal guest starred on the MC Frontalot album Solved. She was featured with Kurt Braunohler on the Radiolab episode "Loops".[17] Schaal was in a commercial for the Xperia Play version of Minecraft. Schaal guest starred on The Simpsons May 8, 2011 episode "Homer Scissorhands" in which she plays Taffy, a love interest of Milhouse. She is incorrectly listed in the credits as Kristen Schall. This prompted Simpsons writers to issue her a unique apology on the next week's episode in which Bart's chalkboard gag in the intro to the show states "It’s Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall." Schaal stars alongside Casey Wilson and Angela Kinsey in the upcoming Hulu original series The Hotwives of Orlando, premiering in spring 2014. She began her career as Miss Tree in Kate & Leopold along with The Education of Max Bickford as Valerie Holmes in 2001. Gravity Falls is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Lost In Austin is her most recent credit. She has 78 acting credits, 40 Self credits, four writing credits (Funny As Hell, Comedy Lab, Comedy Central Presents and South Park), and three producer credits (Kristen Schaal: Live At The Fillmore and Supanatural) to her resume. So now we....
Opening Moment #1: ...HIT THE OPENING~! We start with awesome cloud and sky effects over the falls and Gas Station with a model of a giant lumberjack with an axe. So Gravity Falls does have a falls; and I hope there is strange natural gravity quirks in those falls; or I'll be disappointed. Side shot of power poles and a water tank which reads Gravity Falls in black letters. Then I just realize that they have basically done the backstory on Dipper and Mabel arriving at Gravity Falls. Mabel i sweating a pink sweater with a yellow star and rainbow; with a pink visor. While most characters wear the same thing in most episode that they are in (TaleSpin had it's moments where they changed gear when the episode called for it); Mabel changes clothes as much as she changes mood swings. Dipper on the other hand; dresses like a redneck with a grey hunter's cap on. Unless you are Cody Deaner; it's NO BUYS~! Apparently; they were on a bus, and they are at a shack meaning a smiling old man with a grey mustache/beard, a red cap with the cresecent moon on the front (no star though) wearing a black suit and carrying a staff with a eight ball on top. He and Mabel look like stars here; while Dipper looks like he was out hunting. We get a short tour of the "Mystery Shack" (Did I mention how Scooby-Doo'ish this show sounds? On the other hand; this is a great twist to the formula, so...) which is run down because the S in shack falls down and is now called "Mystery Hack". That was funny as you'll see later on. We get the footprint spot in such that the babyfaces are looking at one while being inside a much bigger footprint. The lighting effects are great in this show; even though the artwork and animation are standard Nickelodeon fare. They also do the mid 1990's Disney opening where the names are shown with the characters. Dipper is scared of everything and nearly burns himself and we have finally reached the point where they can do mature lighting and still make it seem like I can see what is going on. Mabel hugs a pig. That is exactly what I wrote and sucks to be Mabel, because Mabel with a pig is many buys, but The Simpsons Movie did it first.
So Mabel is showing off her purple rainbow with her name on it complete with stars and clouds. Did I mention that it lights up like a Christmas Tree; only she had to plug it into the wall to make it work. HEE HEE! I love Mabel already; and I have seen a few animated GIFs of her being awesome; including one where she blows off a blond haired stereotype. Then we see the old man running into the woods with an ancient cash register used in ancient Egypt (of course) loaded with cash. Then a shot of him sitting down in his golden chair with his golden lamp showing off his black eyepatch on his left eye. His name is Stan by the way. Is this the guy who got superkicked by Shawn Michaels on RAW at least five years ago? If so; man did he age since that time or what? Then we get a shot of Stan telling ghost stories with two other teenagers sitting on the edge of the wooden logs in front of the campfire. There is a symbolic giant wooden Canadian-equse idol in the background. The fat teenager with the question mark T-shirt and fishing rod is Jesus, aka Soos. Yes folks; he's Jesus. Okay; he's Heysus in real life, but of course BS&P isn't going to allow Jesus in any context (which is funny because I thought religious group wanted more references to their savior on television?), so he's Soos, which sounds like Zeus. He runs the Mystery Shack gift shop. Both he and Grunkle Stan (Stan's full name) are voiced by Alex Hirsch, who is the creator of the show. I'll say this about Alex: At least Alex is in roles which better suit his voice acting range. Alex as Clamantha is NO BUYS! The red haired teenager on the far right next to Dipper with the guitar looking amused with the Gruffi pose is Wendy Corduroy who is a part time worker at the Mystery Shack. Wendy is actually shown at deck looking bored as the eyes in the jar pickling was more compelling. Then we get some reading from an ancient tome and then the show pays off the title having Dipper and Mabel float in their room as shown with the eight ball rising up; followed by them rising up. I also note that Dipper is reading some tome while Mabel is reading teenage magazines, much to my disappointment.
Then we get photos of the various denizens of Gravity Falls; which I'll explain as the show progress, and it ends with a group photo of the main babyfaces, followed by the logo and we discover that Clamantha is creating the show...sort of. It's a fine little opening sequence, but the music is nothing to write home about which makes it so Mighty Ducks-equse. By the way; Wendy is voiced by Linda Cardellini and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Cardellini received her first big break role in 1996 when she landed a starring role as Sarah on ABC's Saturday morning live-action children's series, Bone Chillers. Following this, she made guest appearances on prime-time programs such as Step by Step, Clueless, 3rd Rock from the Sun, and Boy Meets World as Lauren, a girl that came between the show's star couple. Cardellini co-starred in the AMC mini-series The Lot in 1999,[4] and spent the summer in Europe as part of a touring production of Lancelot, a 14th-century Dutch tragedy.[5] Cardellini had her first major success when she landed one of the starring roles in the NBC series Freaks and Geeks, which debuted during the 1999–2000 season. As Lindsay Weir, an honor student in the midst of an identity crisis, the actress earned positive response that subsequently catapulted her to fame. Cardellini starred in the live-action adaptation of Scooby-Doo in 2002, in which she brought to life the cartoon character of Velma Dinkley. She would later reprise the role of Velma in 2004's Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. She joined the cast of the hospital drama ER in 2003 as Samantha Taggart, a free-spirited nurse. Cardellini acted for six seasons on ER, until the series finale, "And in the End...", and with the cast won the TV Land ensemble Icon Award in 2009.[6] Her other film work includes roles in Dead Man on Campus, "Strangeland", "Goodburger", Legally Blonde, Brokeback Mountain (for which she was nominated for the ensemble Gotham[7] and Screen Actors Guild awards),[8] and a starring role in the Happy Madison film Grandma's Boy as Samantha.
She was the voice of Ursula in the role-playing video game, Gladius, and played the voice of Bliss Goode on the Fox animated series The Goode Family. In 2007, Cardellini was chosen to play lovelorn Clara in the CBS miniseries Comanche Moon, a prequel to 1989's Lonesome Dove.[9] In 2010 and 2011, Cardellini returned to the stage with the Dr. God comedy group in Los Angeles and San Francisco,[10][11] appeared in Kill the Irishman and Super, and starred in the independent film Return. Cardellini appeared with cast members and producers of Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared at the Paley Center for Media PaleyFest on March 12, 2011.[12][13] Since June 29, 2012, she has been the voice of Wendy on the Disney Channel show Gravity Falls. Linda voice acts periodically on the podcast and live show The Thrilling Adventure Hour, on the Sparks Nevada: Marshall on Mars segments.[14][15] In 2013, Cardellini was chosen to play Sylvia, a love interest of Don Draper on Mad Men. For her performance on Mad Men, she received an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series. She is set to join Kyle Chandler on a new Netflix series from the creators of Damages.[16] She began her career on Bone Chillers as Sara. Gravity Falls is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Lost In Austin is her most recent credit. She has 54 acting credits and 32 Self credits to her resume. After a weird upside down shot of something that requires me to pause to see what it was, and then slow it down to half speed in order to find the spot perfectly; we return to the real action of Dipper driving the golf cart like a mad man. And we go into the hard camera and stop the action again; because Disney has zero confidence in kids being able to figure out what happened a minute ago. They couldn't just show the freeze frame of them going into the hard camera and then have Dipper explain what happened? That would have prevented a logic break if nothing else. So let's hit the flashback~!
We head inside a house as Dipper is playing what appears to be a Playstation controller all decked in black (he's wearing no hat this time); while Mabel is hugging the cat with glee. There is a spool of string on the pink carpet floor for no reason; but it's otherwise clean. So then a bunch of arms force packing gear that looks nothing like the gear they were carrying in the opening, and they put sun tan lotion on their faces. They also take away the cat and the video games. Dipper explains that their parents have decided that it's time for some fresh air; so they basically shipped them north to a sleepy town. We get a shot of a map of Oregon and I know this because it's sezs so on the top of the map in red letters. There is a lot of forest and a beaver; which I swear that I think Alex intended this to be in Canada, but the execs overruled it because that would mean Canada is more interesting than America and therefore American children will foresake the country and moved uphere amirite? I mean; Canada is the land of piracy according to the MPAA/RIAA and we cannot have children thinking that is this cool. Never mind that watching five minutes of CNN or Fox News would pretty much do the trick on it's own. Anyhow; Gravity Falls is in Oregon, which of course is not in real life. With that said; is it any different than Springfield in the Simpsons? Other than they never explained where Springfield actually was? Besides; it's probably a good thing they used a place in Oregon that doesn't exist because if they did, then Disney would be risking the wrath of government and the people of New Jersey when The Jersey Shore was released on MTV. Then again; Gravity Falls is no Jersey Shore in almost every way anyway. So there you go; you self-rightous poop-grinning people who think that they are so smart in saying the show sucks just because Gravity Falls doesn't exist in real life can sod off! Neither does Cape Suzette, Usland or Earthia (Earthia is not canon in TaleSpin; I made it up for clairty reasons).
So we get a shot of the area known as Gravity Falls and we see a lot of forests with waterfalls and a pan down shot of the Mystery Shack which looks like Higher For Hire; only with a gift shop. Maybe Rebecca Cunningham should have invested in one as a way to give Baloo a job when he retires and Kit gets the piloting job. Who knows. So we head into the attic as Mabel is on top of a bed which contains a bear mask and a model of a pig. She is hanging up posters of a blue sweater guy who may or may not be Dipper's big brother and other posters involving rainbow. Mabel is taking this trip so well that she even shows off the splinters on her hands. So Dipper is walking in the attic as there is an arcade "whack-a-mole" in the background, and a goat on his uncovered bed (with large sized horns). Someone was watching Fanboy & Chum Chum as Mabel comes over to wanting to greet the goat and the goat chews on her pink sweater. Bastard! Mabel laughs and seems okay with the goat chewing on her sweater as Dipper stares at her looking pissed off as we do the anime "talking in his mind" spot explaining that Mabel likes to look at the bright side of things. Then we jump cut to Mabel in the forest rolling on the grass enjoying herself. If she is Molly Cunningham in every single respect; then this character is going to rock harder than Molly Cunningham. She rolls down the hill loving the grass as Dipper is sitting down with a book with a red crested woodpecker on his hat and has a pen in his mouth explaining that he was having problems with the surroundings. I'm having trouble with the pacing of this show in that we are 11 paragraphs in and not 2 1/2 minutes into the show. The woodpecker pecks on the hat and then flies away as Stan appears wearing a green horned monster mask scaring Dipper with a boo. So yes; the gimmick of Dipper is that he is insecure and gets scared a lot. Dipper falls dead, Stan takes the mask off and laughs like an old man. He also has a cheese colored teardrop shaped nose as Dipper doesn't like Uncle Stan or his antics which is pointing, laughing and slapping his knee. Stan is perfectly fine in his role; so Dipper should man up here.
Stan of course is old and so he laughs too much and coughs. So Stan beats his chest and proclaims that it was worth it. So we head inside the Mystery Shack with Stan giving a bunch of tourist a trap tour of the place which contains a picture with a red question mark on it; a brown bunny with antlers (Someone was watching War Of The Weirds I see), an anchor, a CHEST OF DEMONS and a pteradon. Dipper claims that the real mystery of the Mystery Shack is why anyone came; implying that Stan is nothing more than a sleazy con man. Okay Dipper; this is bullcrap because you can also say the same thing about any state park in America. Then he introduces us to a stuffed yeti wearing underwear called the Sascrotch, thus managing to get the word crotch for the first time on Disney television (at least for rant purposes). This was rather lame. I'm more interested in the board next to the stuffed yeti, because the underwear in the panel doesn't match the one the Sascrotch is wearing. Stan is so cheap that he uses desk lamps and white Christmas lights as lighting. The tourists are amused of course and clap; because it's better to do that and get out than complain. So we see Dipper sweeping with the broom as he hates work; or hates working with a con man. It's hard to tell which actually. There is a yellow t-shirt with a red question mark on it. Of course there are no refunds in this gift shop as Mabel looks at a giant eyeball. She is about to touch the giant eyeball; but gets her hand slapped away by Stan with the eight ball. I keep typing Stan as Stand for some reason. Maybe that should be his booking name for this show. Cut to outside as this attraction looks like your average attraction anywhere in North America as Soos arrives in a golf cart while Dipper proclaims that this was going to look like a boring routine all summer. He would be proven wrong of course as we zoom in and cut to Mabel looking behind the counter inbetween Stan bobble-head dolls. Ooookkkkayyy; Dipper is not the only one who feels inscure here as we see a brown haired man reading a white card asking if he likes Mabel complete in cursive writing and with red hearts.
Then there are three choices: Yes, Definitely and Absolutely. Mabel whisper yells to us that she rigged it. HAHA! Dipper is cleaning the giant eyeball jar with Febreeze; and basically pointing out that Mabel is overdoing the crazy boy phase. Mabel then says what and then blows the most funniest and most perverted raspberry of all time. Mabel blows him off because this is summer vacation and it's time for some summer romance; which Dipper questions her flirting with boys. So we HIT THE MONTAGE~ with Mabel flirting with a brown haired boy wearing a green shirt which has sweat stains on it. Mabel is now wearing a pink shirt with a purple/white zigzag pattern in the middle of the sweater, green shorts and a purple headband with a green feather earring. And yes; she wears braces like Oscar in Fish Hooks. Mabel claims that she was joking and then proceeds to shove the boy into the coveniently placed postcard rack with a thud. Cut to outside with a fat brown haired boy wearing glasses and sitting on a wooden bench holding a turtle. Mabel pops up from the back of the bench (wearing aqua green with a daisy, no earrings this time) proclaiming her love for turtles. Not mutant turtles, real turtles. Then we go inside a yellow walled, red/yellow floored building filled with mattresses, beds, a sale's card with balloons tied to it; and there is a man with brown hair wearing an all purple outfit, black boots, spector and wearing a crown. We discover that he is the mascot for Mattress Prince's Kingdom of Savings. There is also an orange banner on the wall that reads Ye Olde Deals with three ! marks. You know this is serious when that happens. You can guess what happens here next (and I'm wasting too much time with this segment); as we return to reality (no, not really) as the teen in the purple outfit was done by Keith Ferguson who I last saw in Attack Of The 50 Foot Candace in Phineas & Ferb. Mabel is so happy that she proclaims that Dipper can mock her all she wants. Ummm; I don't think he was mocking you Mabel; I think he was warning you.
Speaking of warnings; Mabel proclaims that she believes the boy of her dreams will walk right through the door which has red curtains on. So in comes...Stan with a pink can of Orange Crush. That was funny as Stan is bleaching and wheezing while carrying signs causing Dipper to giggle at Mabel's "Oh crap" moment. Outside of the fart joke; this was as close to a TaleSpin moment as you are going to get in the new Disney. Stan wants someone to hammer in the signs and Mabel no sells (BOO!), Dipper no sells (BOO! HISS!), Soos no sells (YAY!); but Stan blows him off because he didn't ask him. Soos is nailing something on the wall on a stepladder, so this makes sense. Wendy is sitting with her feet up on the desk reading the magazine as Stan asks her to do it; and Wendy of course tries to reach the signs despite being at least 20 feet away. Stan is not amused and proclaims that he would fire them if he could; and then does the Enny,Minny,Moe spot; and picks Dipper of course. Now Stan wants Dipper to hang the signs in the spooky forest and Dipper basically acts like a restrained version of Dave The Barbarian because he hates being watched. Stan is not amused by this as Dipper shows off his fly bites spelling out beware; which Stan points out is bewarb which is draweb spelled backwards. Dipper points out that something weird is going on in this town; and Stan blows it off because it's just a local legend drummed up by him to sell stuff as shown with a fat bald tourst wearing glasses, a white pink trimmed shirt sweating and giddy about the Stan bobble-head dolls. Geez; these tourists are much more easily amused than me, which seems unpossible (sic). So Stan gives him the signs and tells him to stop being paranoid. Dipper breathes hard like a guy who thinks the NSA is watching him. Cut to outside as it is a dark and stormy night; with the trees swaying. Why didn't Dipper just say "the weather is going to be bad"? That would have been believable at least. So we see Dipper nailing and hanging signs while blowing off Stan for not believing a word he says. So he nails another tree; and we get metal clanking for no reason. Huh.
So Dipper bangs on metal tree again and then wipes the dust off; and somehow finds that the tree has a door. He opens the door to discover what appears to be an ancient radio tranmission device filled with cobwebs. Dipper plays with the controls after looking around to see if no one is watching, and flicks a switch to reveal a trapdoor which causes the out of nowhere goat (which is the same one that was on Dipper's bed) to flee. Dipper walks over and notices inside is a book with a lot of dirt and cobwebs. It appears purple in color and has what looks to be an oven mitt. Dipper takes the cover and blows off the dirt and webs to reveal that it's a hand that looks like it came from a stock photo from 101 Dalimatians The Series; and it contains the number 3. Dipper sets the book down and opens it. The first page has the words "Property Of" written; but nothing else. There is also an eye glass piece inside for some reason. Dipper turns the page and begins reading what appears to be a diary with a mountain that looks similar to the Eye of Providence only in mountain form; although there is a pyramid with no eye on it. Apparently; this volume 3 takes place six years after volume 1 was written. It was written on June 18th which was three days after the show first aired officially. So the book claims that he has been studying Gravity Falls, Oregon for the past six years, trying to solve it's mysteries and secrets. Dipper turns the page and sees pictures of giant eyeballs and vampire bats. So Castlevanish of you show. Besides the usual mystic symbols; there is an X'es and O'es puzzle on the top right of the page next to the head of the giant bat. Dipper turns the page and finds stuff about gnomes. Weakness: claims to be unknown; but considering that in red there is something that reads Pointy Hats! So I'm guessing that this is their weakness. Danger is unknown. I disagree; the dangers of gnomes in cartoons is well known. The danger of gnomes in commercials much more so. Dipper turns the page and there is a door with the Eye Of Providence on it as Dipper wonders what the hell is all this? Answer: It's Scooby-Doo done better.
So the final two pages show a circle with shapes and symbols including the third Eye Of Providence in this segment alone, as the writer claims that he is being watched and must hide the book before someone knows what happened. It also claims to trust no one in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Dipper ponders this over and then Mabel shows up to finally bring life to this segment; asking if he's being a nerd again by reading this stuff. Dipper hides the book behind his back claiming that it's nothing; which Mabel proceeds to mock him for, thus is not fooled by Dipper's attempts to act paranoid. Mabel points out the logical fallacy of this and Dipper wants to go somewhere private as the goat returns trying to eat the book. I'm surprised that he didn't already eat the mattress early in the episode. So we head back to the Mystery Shack and we head into the family room which apparently is in the basement and a rock is used as a table for a can of beans and some green flyer. Mabel is sitting on the loveseat arm as Dipper basically proclaims that Stan is wrong about being paranoid because he has evidence; and I just realized that the rock is really a skull of some dinosaur. Dipper shows Mabel the book and she tells Dipper to shut up and shoves the book away. Then the doorbell rings and Mabel claims that she has a secret date; as Dipper blows her off for wasting a half hour arranging this date over a mysterious book which proves Stan is not up front about anything. Mabel jumps off the armrest and leaves because she is irresistable and she puts her arms into her sweater and waves it around. Mabel is awesome! Sadly; Dipper is not. Dipper sits on the chair and in comes Stan who calls him slick and asking what he is reading. I should also note that Mabel also did a "spill the beans" spot by tipping over a can of beans which do not exist. So Dipper hides the book and then pulls out the green flyer from the skull which is titled Gold Chains For Old Men. That made me laugh. So in comes Mabel with his new boyfriend who is wearing a black hoodie with a branch on his back and blood on his cheek. Yes; blood on his cheek! He also has a large metal zipper. So we make small talk as Mabel explains that she was at the cemetery when she met him, and he's really deep. HAHA! He also has brown hair as well. Dipper points out the bleeding and the hoodie man calls it jam. Mabel's response is great because she like jam too.
Mabel is the ultimate non-verbal cue master of this show. Every non-verbal cue she does is awesome. So the male babyfaces ask for a name and the guy calls himself Normal...Man. HAHA! Mabel then officially gives him Norman as the booking name. I should note that Alex Hirsch is just as bad at voicing male teenagers as he is with female teenagers. So Norman wants to hold hands; or something and Mabel is so giddy that she doesn't want anyone to wait up and they leave. Norman leaves by bashing his head into the door and causing glass to shatter on the way out. Dipper is not liking this and says as much in the monologue. So he head to a room containing a stained red glass window with more symbols which reflect red light into the room. Dipper sits on cushions near the glass; and I swear he looks like he is at church right now. So Dipper consults the book which is creature #6 which is called the Undead complete with stylized Christian Cross right beside the image. More symbols and two more Eye Of Providences in the book. Dipper realizes that this Norman is in fact dead and that blood was real blood. Dipper gasps in horror, thunderclaps ensue causing the zombie to come alive in the book (in Dipper's mind of course); and Dipper screams loudly. Loud enough for Stan to hear it albeit he mistakes it with Crombie; which should have Norman's spieces booking name, just to make it more absurd than it already is. Stan is in the bathroom at a sink looking in the mirror in case you didn't notice. Stan proclaims that it's not a word and he's losing his mind. Cut back to Dipper grunting and he looks out the window to see Mabel sitting on the picnic kicking her feet like she doesn't give a damn as Norman approaches Mabel doing the zombie walk. Mabel proclaims that she likes him; causing Dipper to scream out for Mabel while sweating and this ends the segment eight minutes in. This first segment was pretty tedious; but unlike Goof Troop, this was memoriable; and the writing is actually flawless for the most part.
After the commercial break we cut to behind Dipper watching Mabel looking at Norman as Dipper yells at Mabel to look out and after about ten seconds of horror; Norman grabs Mabels and puts a daisy necklace around her neck. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That cooky Norman! Stan is right; Dipper is completely paranoid. No buys! Mabel calls Norman a scallywag (nice to see Mabel actually talk like someone who can be universal with their words) as Dipper jumps down from the window and asks himself if he is just nuts or really did see Norman date Mabel. Then Soos comes in on a ladder fixing a light bulb in the ceiling and was there the whole time without making a sound, and yet it looked believable. I am watching the new Disney version of TaleSpin! At least in the characization department. Dipper of course gets scared as Soos sums up Dipper's stupidity in one complete sentence. Wow; Soos is pretty cool. Dipper and Soos exchange notes and Soos asks how many brains did Norman eat and Dipper says it's zero. Soos then proclaims that he believes him anyway because the postman might be a werewolf. So we hit the flashback and see Soos on a park bench eating lunch and in comes the postman who looks like a were-wolf; although, he looks more like a wolfwere if you catch my drift. Soos watches and slide himself and his lunch to the side, for no reason. So we return to reality (no, not really) as Soos proclaims that he must have evidence because if he doesn't then he looks like a major cuckoo-clock. That was a funny way of putting it Soos. Dipper agrees with him and Soos proclaims that his skills are a blessing and a curse. A curse because we hear Stan yelling (I almost typed Stand again) for Soos to unclog the toilets. Yeah. Soos salutes Dipper and leaves. Dipper proclaims that he needs evidence so he's going to be bringing the camera on like a peeping tom. So we hit the montage as we first see Mabel playing frisbee with Norman (she's wearing purple shorts by the way) as Norman takes a shot in the head with the frisbee and it's so hard that Norman falls flat on his face looking like he's dead.
Dipper is filming behind the bushes like a peeper and somehow considering that he's dressed like a redneck punk (which I consider child cruelty), this makes sense. So we see Norman punching the glass window and opening the door from the inside. Why? I don't know. I mean; it's the local diner and it should be open. Dipper is reading a menu at one of the tables to hide himself while seeing Norman collide into a woman off-screen and she screams badly. Mabel doesn't care as the next scene involves Mabel and Norman walking and laughing in the cemetery. I've heard of whistling past the graveyard; but it's not suppose to be a literal statement. Norman somehow falls into a covered up grave as if it were completely open. I club BS&P! There are at least two crosses in the foreground; semi obscured. I'm glad Disney is not afraid of religious symbols anymore; although it would be perfect if the pentagrams and hexagrams came back in full. I'm also glad that blood can be shown in the new shows; even if it's stylized or in small trickles. Norman pops from the "open grave" like a zombie would and they laugh it up. Dipper is not amused as he monlogues that he's seen enough. I haven't; so buzz off and like it Dipper Pines! Yes; their last names are Pines. That's all right as a last name; since there are a lot of pine trees in the area. So we head back to the Mystery Shack and into the attic as we see Mabel brushing her hair at what I think it's a mirror, but in this show; that is just a theory. Dipper barges in and demands to have the talk with Mabel. Mabel thinks Norman is the best and shows off the smooch mark he gave; as this implies that Norman did in fact kiss a girl. This should give Freddie from iCarly more incentive to not kiss a girl. She shows the mark and it's a big pink dot on the right side of her cheek which causes Dipper to panic. Mabel then mocks him because it was caused by a leaf blower incident; which I need to see on film. And they show it! Mabel is outside and puts a photo of Norman on the end of the leaf blower. The leaf blower turns on; the picture gets sucked in and Mabel's face gets sucked in; causing Mabel to run in circles in a panic to turn it off.
We return to reality; and yes, this is the first logic break of the episode nearly ten minutes in since the leaf blower mark was on the cheek instead of around the lips. This may or may not be a BS&P decision, but it's still funny nevertheless. Dipper then starts telling Mabel that Norman is not what he seems. Doesn't Dipper realize that you can say the same thing about Mabel in this regard? They are perfect together. Dipper brings out the BOOK OF DOOM and she gasps and thinks that he's a vampire, then proclaims that this is awesome. HA! Dipper goes all She-Bam on us and shows us the page with the gnomes; and in essence spoils their own surprise. This is the first time the writers have slipped in this episode. Compare that to Fish Hooks (DUD episode for Bea Stays In The Picture) Kick Buttowski (ten thumbs down episodes before Obsession For Kick), and even Phineas & Ferb (was pretty sloppy to start), this is great news actually. Mabel likes it; Dipper realizes that he screwed himself and then She-Bam's it to the Undead page, and Mabel blows this all off as not funny. I agree Mabel; this is not funny. Dipper goes over all the zombie stereotypes: bleeding, limping, liking open graves (I think); and then talks about the book about Gravity Falls in trusting no one. Mabel then comes up with the best counter I have ever heard in asking the question: Don't you trust me? Then she puts her star earrings on and goes beep-bop. Mabel is literally carrying the episode on it's back and she's not even caring about the fact that this episode is really good anyway. Dipper then shakes Mabel hard yelling that he's going to eat your brain. I hope Mabel's response is: I thought you didn't like brains?! Sadly; Mabel gets mad and invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH on Dipper; which is deadly in the sense that it literally shoves Dipper out of the attic. Awesome! I would still have her say the brains line; but this is great. Basically; she told him to sod off because she's dating Norman at five o'clock, and it will not be ruined by his crazy conspiracies. Dipper props himself against the door and wonders what the do. Answer: nothing. Mabel is the star of this show and you're not.
So we cut to a shot of a clock in the shape of an owl and hoots five times because it's five o'clock. Did I mention that it has movable wings? So we see Mabel heading down the stairs putting on her purple sparkle sweater with a picture of a cat and it reads in sparkling letters Meow Wow! Ahhhh! My heart melted! Norman of course loves shiny things which has to factor into the finish somehow; since every new Disney show has to have one character that is distracted by shiny things. I'm shocked that they didn't give that gimmick to Dipper. So Mabel is so happy and they walk out together. Dipper is shown sitting on the chair as he replays his evidence and concludes that he has no real evidence. In other words; he takes the falling down flat on his face to be a human quirk of some kind. Then he plays footage of Mabel and Norman embracing and somehow Norman's right hand falls out from the hoodie onto the ground. Norman picks it up and screws it back into his wrist; causing Dipper to rewind and replay the footage. Dipper then realizes the horror that he really does have evidence and screams, falls out of the chair, causes a lot of mess and swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (oh my gosh) about five times before running out. So he calls for Grunkle Stan as Stan is in front of the gift shop showing off a stone face to the tourists out in front. It's a rock that looks like a face rock as we play a joke about the rock not being a face nor a face being a rock. That wasn't all that funny as Dipper grunts in frustration and looks like he's going to pop veins. So we head to a closeup shot of Mabel stopping somewhere in the forest as she proclaims that they are alone. Norman comes up from behind proclaiming that she is right that they are alone; and we cut to behind the tourists as Dipper is yelling for Stan and there is no response. Dipper's voice might as well be as loud as dogs can hear at this point. Then we see Wendy driving up with the golf cart which has a question mark on the front. Dipper runs in and pleads for Wendy to give him the golf cart to save her sister from a zombie. Wendy does the Gruffi pose; and then gives him the keys; leaving stage left and not to hit humans.
So does this imply that Dipper has driven the golf cart before and he's so crappy that he ran over multiple people? If so; this is horrible. If not; they need to work it by showing him hitting literal crash dummies. Dipper takes the keys and gets into the golf cart. He backs up the golf cart as Soos appears and somehow; Dipper stops and doesn't run him over. Soos gives him a shovel for the zombies, and decides to give him a wooden baseball bat because apparently, zombies like to play pinata. I have a sneaking feeling that this will play into the finish somehow. Dipper thanks him for both; although he looked like "What is wrong with this guy?" on the baseball bat part. So Dipper backs the cart up completely and then turns around and drives away while Soos tells him that it's better to be safe than sorry. All right; good to know. Scene change to a sky shot inside the forrest with Mabel and Norman looking at each other. Norman looks panicky now as he proclaims that he has a confession to make as Mabel proclaims that he can tell her anything, and her mind is praying that he is a vampire. So Norman turns around; and wants Mabel to keep an open mind when he reveals himself. So we get leaves blowing and some Mode-7 parallax effects; as Norman unzips and....it's five gnomes on silts. Memo to Alex: If you want to do a reveal like A Bad Reflection On You, you need to be a lot more subtle because once you showed a picture of the gnomes, everyone knew that Norman was going to be a bunch of gnomes. It's too obvious. So yeah; we discover that the top gnome is Jeff, the second one is Carson (red straight brows), Steve (lighter red straight brows), Jason (dark red curly brows) and Shmebulock who ironically is the only gnome Jeff forgets even though Shme has the most distinct look of the five gnomes.
Anyhow; Mabel sits on a rock not looking thrilled as the gnomes proclaim that they are looking for a new queen; and they bring out the diamond ring of doom because they want Mabel to marry all of the gnomes and become their queen for all eternity. Holy matrinnomy indeed! Holy Polygamy even more so! Jeff's speaking is very melee today as Mabel ponders it over and tells them that this is great and all, but she is underage and in roundabout terms points out that this is a cross between a child bribe, polygamy and beastaity, so she muse decline the offer. Jeff proclaims that he fully respects her decision, and so they will kidnap her causing Mabel to be shocked and appalled (in that order). Jeff jumps right into the hard camera, Mabel screams and that ends the segment 13 and a half minutes in. Wow; this would have been one of the best episodes ever, if they didn't spoil the surprise twist so early in the episode. Sometimes being subtle works, even more so if you are doing a swevere.
After the commercial break; we cut to the beaten path with Dipper yelling the usual "I've save you" promo while driving the golf cart. Listen; I realize that an underage kid is driving a golf cart; but after seeing Kit flying the most difficult plane in existence, no one has any right to get pissed off when kids drive cars. Then we get a long driving sequence as he drives underground and into a grassy cave of doom as at the end of it (and really; it's only about 100 yards away) as Jeff is on a top while the gnomes are basically assaulting Mabel somehow. Jeff proclaims that the more she struggles, the more awkward this becomes. Here comes Dipper in the golf cart; and the animation is so slow here because Dipper is literally 10 yards away; and it takes thirty seconds just to get inside, in which footballs can get through in less than ten. Dipper brings out the shovel as Mabel struggles and then proceeds to punch and kick the gnomes ass. AWESOME! One of the gnomes takes a good bump onto the ground and then starts to vomit rainbows. It sucks to be Mabel because this scene was awesome; however, Fanboy & Chum Chum did this first, so to many kids this came off as low rent even though this gnome vomitting is many times better than Fanboy & Chum Chum's version of it. Dipper demands answers to this outrage and a gnome hisses at him and runs off. HAHA! Mabel calls them a bunch of jerk and one of them pulls on her hair like a grade school boy jerk. So Dipper admits that he was way off and consults the book to reveal that gnomes are creature #24, with weaknesses being unknown. As soon as he finishes reading, we see Mabel tied down the ground not amused at all about this. Dipper runs in and demands they release her right now; and Jeff turns around and states that this is all a grave misunderstanding because she is going to merry all 1000 of them and become their queen for all eternity. Honest heels; gotta hate them as much as Mabel does as she calls them butt-faces; causing her to be shut up. Oh this means war! A gnome war! Dipper brings out the shovel and demands the release of Mabel or else. Or else what Dipper? You're going to hit them with a shovel? HA!
Jeff agrees with me as he calls himself and his gnome a powerful race that Dipper doesn't know how to deal with. So Dipper takes the shovel, shovels Jeff up and tosses him aside. Considering that Mabel was kicking ass on these gnomes and holding their own; Jeff is lying as usual. Dipper uses the shovel to free Mabel and they all get into the golf cart. Jeff panics and is hating every minute of this. The babyfaces put their seatbelts on (so we can be safe!), Dipper backs the cart away and it drives off. Jeff is pissed off and proclaims that no one screws with them as he calls for all 1000 gnomes to assemble. And when he means assemble, he means assemble into a giant gnome mecha-equse monster! Take that Dipper; the one who claims that they are safe because of their tiny legs. So then we have the gnomes attacking with their mecha monster thingy as when they pound the ground; gnomes pop out of it and then climb back on the arm. So the chase is on BABEE as we have pretty much returned to the start of the episode. So the monster shoots gnomes out from their arms and they land on the canopy. One of them eats the top and swing over to threaten Mabel; who gives a devastating elbow into the gnome and it goes flying. AWESOME! Dipper almost gets to her level by taking Shmebulock and slamming him into the driving wheel horn. Shme drools like an idiot; because he looks like one and gets tossed aside. Another gnome jumps into Dipper's face and scratches it up off-screen; Mabel proclaims that he will save him and she punches the gnome about 20 times in the left elbow and the gnome is forced to let go, and flies off. The spilt second after he lets go of Dipper's face, Mabel punches Dipper directly in the face on-screen, no impact stars. AWESOME! Dipper cleans himself after selling a concussion to kill the logic break as the monster throws the tree and of course the animators screw it up because it's media-res and they don't want to look like they are repeating footage like a cheap skate. Never mind that in a media-res episode; you're supposed to repeat footage in order for it to make sense. Oh well; no one gets Media-Res right anyway; so there you go.
So the golf cart goes under the tree and heads to the side of the Mystery Shack where it tumbles onto it's side and gets destroyed. The babyfaces get out as the monster is stalking them (in more ways than one); Dipper throws the shovel and it gets crushed by the monster. Dipper calls for Stan and Stan is inside the shack showing tourists a swirly lollipop of distraction which he admits that it is intended to distract people. So this is the guy Nickelback was talking about doing a revolution. Geez; no wonder most people don't like Nickelback, because taking on a fictional old man is kind of useless. And by the way; when is Nickelback going to start giving us five cents back for every concert we watch? Anyhow; the tourists and Stan have been brainwashed as the kids are with their backs against the wall as Jeff demands that Mabel marry him; or they will do something crazy. As if turning yourselves into a mecha like monster wasn't crazy enough...Oh wait; marry all 1000 gnomes, sorry about that. That lollipop is very effective. Mabel then steps forward and accepts the preposal! Dipper tries to stop her because BS&P is going to bury her deeper than Kit Cloudkicker, if that is humanly possible. Mabel proclaims that for once he should trust her and Dipper teases saying no, but then backs away. That makes sense! So Mabel kneels down as Jeff is so happy that he climbs down and has to step on the gnomes to get to ground level. Jeff comes over and opens the box containing the diamond ring. Mabel brings out her finger and Jeff puts the diamond ring on her finger. Jeff is about to turn around and Mabel proclaims that he may now kiss the bribe. So Jeff turns around and is about to kiss Mabel as Mabel puts her hands behind her back. Also; she is conveniently behind the stack of brown leaves and inside the tomb is the dreaded leaf blower. She turns it on; sidesteps Jeff as he almost gets to Mabel's mouth or cheek and eats leafblowers! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sucks to be you Jeff!
Ron Sparks: He sucks more than Sean Desmond.
Jeff gets sucked in and Mabel completely blows off Jeff for screwing with her mind, her heart and Dipper in general. So they put it in reverse as the gnomes panic on cue and then on the count of three, they fire the leafblower and it nails the gnome monster into the chest; causing all the gnomes to scatter in the wind like dominoes. This is exactly the way it should be booked! Jeff does the Team Rocket exit (of course) and the gnomes all are threatened with the leaf blower and they scatter away like scalded dogs and even run like scalded dogs. One of the gnomes gets tied up in beer plastic holders; and is dragged off by the goat that we saw on Dipper's bed. As this is happening, Dipper and Mabel walk to the front entrance as Mabel apologizes for ignoring his advice. Dipper forgives her because she did save the butts out there which is better than the apology from I Only Have Ice For You. They also have the sibbling hug of doom and I don't see how this can be awkward. How is patting someone on the back and say "Pat! Pat!" awkward? So let's go inside the gift shop and there is Stan counting the money at the counter and mocks them for getting hit by a bus. Where is Shawn Michaels when I need him? The babyfaces ignore him and go towards the room that reads "Employees Only"; and then Stan stops them and proclaims that he overstocked in inventory; so he's offering them one free item. Dipper has the Gruffi pose on and asks what the catch is. Stan basically states that they must get it now before he changes his mind, so this makes Stan look like a low rent Mr. Krabs. I just hope he's a lot more than what I have seen thus far. So Mabel is in glee as Dipper goes over to the hat rack and gets the cap which has the blue pine tree look with white and blue rim, which is his standard hat. It's funny that the new Disney actually explained how Dipper lost his hat and gained a new one, yet they cut out how Chip got his hat in To The Rescue in syndication. Dipper looks in the mirror and proclaims that this will do the trick.
Dipper goes to a box and brings out a...wait for it...grappling hook! Sadly; Disney Caption showed the grappling hook part before she revealed it, so sucks to be Mabel again. Mabel uses it and manages to kick away a fragile object that shatters and hangs from the ceiling. Mabel and Molly are born from the same mold; and I love it! Dipper and Stan look stunned as Stan acts like an old fart who still believes rigid gender roles are required because he was thinking that she wanted a doll; but he accepts the choice Mabel makes. So we head to bed as Mabel is jumping on her bed wearing purple boot like socks. Dipper is lying on his bed reading volume 3 of the book of doom while finding some grey covers. So Dipper is writing down stuff in the dairy as he monologues that he thought there was no one he could trust; but seeing Mabel beat 1000 gnomes together with him and a leafblower proved him wrong. We see Mabel playing with the grappling hook and hooking a stuffed tiger as Dipper asks Mabel to get the light; because somehow, the attic has no lights. Mabel then uses the grappling hook on the gas lantern and instead of the thing bursting the attic into flames; it puts itself out by ramming into the window and shattering the window. Mabel and Dipper laugh it up as we hear Dipper monologuing that Stan is claiming that there is nothing strange going on in Gravity Falls. However; Dipper is no longer buying this assertion as he wonders what secrets are still present to find. The final scene of this episode is: Stan is shown going into the Mystery Shack in his underwear and white shirt with a gas lantern. He walks towards the candy machine. He pushes various buttons. It's dark inside as the candy machine swings open to show us a pathway that leads downstairs. He walks down the stairs and the candy machine swings closed up again. HOLY CRAP! I just found a hexagram right next to the machine! Lights on the candy machine go out and we fade to black for the ED.
Here's the ED: Jeff is in the forrest holding his chest and groaning while on his knees. He then pukes rainbows. The credits roll. The second last credit sezs: ZHOFRPH RW JUDYLWB IDOOV which is one of the running jokes that every episode must have a puzzle in order to solve. This would be great in all; but how many kids will pause to write it down and how many of them would try get frustrated easily? Probably a lot more than you think. This ends the episode at 21:01. Yeah; he puked for 15 seconds straight. Whatever. Great debut for this show anyway, although Stan's routine of being stupid is getting older than him and Dipper got better as time rolled around. Mabel is still the reason to watch this show. A few logic breaks; mostly in the part where they have to rejoin the beginning of the episode and failing in doing that did prevent a perfect pilot episode which hasn't been seen since Plunder and Lightning. **** 1/2 (90%). This preview episode was better than I Only Have Ice For You; mostly because Dipper did in fact thank Mabel for saving them and didn't mock her like Baloo did to Rebecca when her book failed. By the way; if you visit the Gravity Falls Wikia, the message reads: Welcome to Gravity Falls! Whatever.
THE REVIEW LINE
Wow; Gravity Falls feels so old school; I forgot that this kind of content existed at one time. Showing blood, a hexagram, three crosses, at least eight eyes of providences, and even flirting with the muslim symbol (I also know that one episode features a pentacle). Now all we need is references to god and we're set. As for the episode itself, this was a really great pilot; maybe the best one in the new Disney era. It was better than even I Only Have Ice For You for a couple of reasons: (1) They did a better job at the finish with Dipper and Mabel embrace as they didn't make it with Mabel being the sharpest knife in the drawer; but when the chips are down, she came through when it counted. Mabel brings a sort of energy to this show that is missing even in Phineas & Ferb. I love her as a character and I love her more when she's acting like a child who loves the world and isn't depressed. Dipper can do that role very well; thank you very much. Dipper improved as the episode went on; and I hope that he gets over his paranoia because that is going to drag him down as a character if it goes on for too long. Stan is basically Mr. Krabs at this point and I don't want to see this kind of character again for a long time. Soos was cool and Wendy was just there which once again shows that no one in North America can write teenagers properly. Maybe Disney should hire female teenagers to write these stories because I'm certain that they can writer better material than dense red haired redneck which seems to be Wendy's gimmick. The animation was fine and it didn't look sloppy in terms of writing (except for a few logic breaks with the media-res and the leafblower). Overall; they wrote a great episode with enough fart jokes to keep the rubes happy and be subtle enough to be enjoyed; although I wish they were more subtle on the plot twist of the undead zombie being gnomes. The gnome monster was cool and some of the special effects were major league. This felt like a TaleSpin episode done in the modern era. Did I mention Mabel is the best character in the new Disney right now? So yeah; more to come on the trip to Gravity Falls with five episodes left on the first DVD set. Spoiler Alert: The gnomes will return. When? Probably not during the first nor second DVD sets. So....
Thumbs way up for this episode and I'll see you all next time.