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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
Obsession For Kick/Flush & Release Rant
Couldn't We Just Flush Kick And Release Jackie?!
Considering that there is only one complete short left so far and Family Channel Canada refuses to air it (and apparently YTV won't either); I'm left with this. Anyhow; this short is all about mutant giant ass goldfish and Kick doing what he does best: pointless bumping. Also; there is a certain female character who in my view just saved this series from utter disaster. So how do these shorts do? Let's rant on shall we...?
Obsession For Kick is written by Nick Confalone. The storyboards are done by Bob Camp and is directed by Chris Savino. Bob Camp is a really interesting storyboard though. Resume: Space Goofs, What A Cartoon, Ren & Stimpy, Big House Blues, Thundercats, Silverhawks, The Comic Strip; The Real Ghostbusters, Beany & Cecil, Tiny Toons, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, and even a few movies like Ice Age, Robots, Scooby Doo live action movie and How The Grinch Stole Christmas live action. Kick is his only DTVA appearance. Nick has exactly one other credit other than Kick Buttowski: Shorty McShorts' Shorts. Wow; this show is all storyboard oriented after all.
Flush & Release was written by David Shayne and Mitch Larson. The storyboard was done by Scott O'Brien and directed by Chris Savino. Scott O'Brien started as an animator for Babe: Pig In The City and Pocahontas 2 in 1998. His animation credits are: Entropy, The Flintstones in Viva Las Vegas, Rugrats in Paris, Along Came A Spider, Scooby Doo CGI, Re-Animated and Aliens In The Attic. Other credits include Planet 51, Tomcats, Captain Sturdy (TV Movie and short), Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi, The Indestructable Nth, The Mr. Men Show, Christmas Is Here Again, and the Kung Fu Panda: Secret of the Furious Five. Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut (from the television division of course) and also started work on Fish Hooks. He also did one Random! Cartoon short. As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.
Opening Moment #1: Today's lame ass title card has glasses against a light blue background with Kick's helmet and banana yellow hearts. Geez; can this show get anymore lame with title cards that look like some three year old drew them? I'm seen better title cards in an Ed, Ed & Eddy cartoon than this.
Obsession For Kick: So we begin this one in the streets at dawn as a blue bird flies into the camera and screeches. The blue bird lies into a nest in a tree looking so vainglorious that I swear that this bird is Kick's cousin daredevil in training. Anyhow; the bird gets interrupted as we see Gunther pop from the nest in the tree. And I doubt it is because he's K-I-S-S-I-N-G if you catch my drift. He's wearing a leaf suit in case you care and then invokes the binoculars. Does that mean that this episode will NOT suck after all? As I said before; the binoculars equals a good episode in DTVA. So we go to the pan shot with the binocular focus and we see Kick riding his skateboard. Umm; what exactly is Gunther trying to prove here? Other than that he's a bird hater? Other than trying to draw cheap heat with the binoculars?! So we go to some jump cuts of Kick riding his skateboard with the worst smile I have ever seen. Seriously; he isn't even trying to smile here. It looks like he's unemoting.
And then we cut to an angry dog wearing a blue sweater. So Jay Leno was right about dressing up pets after all. Nice to see someone is paying attention here. So we go to the VS. shot as Kick does the old jump over the jumping dog which is so badly animated that it looks like the dog wasn't even close to Kick on the right side. It is also in such vainglorious slow motion that it would make the creators of Katie & Orbie blush. At least Katie & Orbie has GOOD artwork in spite of the show having almost the same type of animation that was in this scene. Kick lands on the skateboard (despite Gunther missing the high five by a mile; at least I think that was the spot) and the dog screws up going into the trash can with a thud. The dog barks as Kick flips the skateboard and heaves it up in victory in such a way that I think Kick actively hates his audience.
Then we see a red haired glass wearing dork with a blue shirt inside his room watching out the window on the zoom shot and he/she is SHOCKED....SHOCKED I SAY....as if this trick is the first time he/she has seen it. I think he/she needs to get out a lot more. And she's female as she does this awesome pose and proclaims that it was incredible. And Kit Cloudkicker has to be rolling in his grave right now. That shock is enough for Guthner to fall out of the tree and it's so contrived and forced (it should have happened a split second after she said it instead of five seconds after) that there is a wussy bump present. At least there was no padding this time (like the leaf suit would protect Guthner from such a fall?). The girl addresses herself as Jackie and tells Kick to wait right there. She even remember to slam the window down and it shatters on cue. These house are NOT UP TO CODE again.
Note From The Future: Jackie is voiced by Maria Bamford and started with Denial as a Newscaster in 1998 and Hey Arnold in animation. She also voiced Brittany The Bank Teller in Escape From Monkey Island in 2000. She did mostly cameos and television appearances on various programs until her big break in 2007 with Back to The Barnyard as Mrs. Beady and then Wordgirl as Mrs. Botsford in 2007 as well. This is her DTVA debut and her most recent credit is Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness. She also wrote 63 episodes of the The Martin Short Show and a few episodes of Comedy Central Presents. She even appeared on Jon & Kate Plus 8 and even the Canadian show Just For Laughs (MOMMY! IT'S OVER!!).
We cut back to Kick again swearing in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (what the heck is this? Good question for a change as we will see...) as Jackie jumps over a moving truck and an African American hauling out a green couch. Jackie jumps off the couch and the couch lands on the movers foot causing him to scream...badly. Okay; that is so racist that it isn't funny. So not only is the guy a racial stereotype; he gets treated like crap. Really smooth move there guys. Nice tongue moving there too guys. Jackie goes over to Kick and refers to herself as Jackie Wackerman. Memo to Kick: If someone has a last name called Wackerman; you are room feed as Joy from Video on Trial would say. She is literally a stalker and you need to call the cops......Wait a minute?! I don't like Kick at all. Scratch all that. She is not a stalker at all; no siree. Pay no attention to the sadist ranter behind the curtain. See; she is here because Jackie moved to Mellowbrook since her mother got her job transferred. Which is a nice way of saying that she was fired from her previous job. She thought this would be totally lame (naturally she talks at 60 miles per hour by the way) until she saw Kick. Man; she is a lonely little girl if she thinks Kick is awesome. Seriously; Kick is so unlikable that it makes my fat ass look like Baloo.
She figures that he is related to a really famous daredevil. I cannot name any of them that is in the same demension as Kick; unless you count Billy Stumps, then it's merely in the same country. She then brings out the red pen and wants Kick's autograph. Kick asks in a dumb voice where he needs to sign as Guthner has the Gruffi pose on full blast. You are just jealous because Jackie is a much better character than you. Jackie giggles like the worst school girl in history (how contrived can you get? That might explain Guthner's reaction better, I think.) as Kick has his name written in red on Jackie's forehead. So she had the foresight to get a pen; but not some paper. That is clearly a sign that she might be a stalker....Again; if I cared.
She is wearing hot pink pants and blue shoes by the way as she wants to touch Kick's helmet. Kick ponders over that thought and allows it much to the shock of Gunther (which he screws up of course) as we get the vainglorious slow motion touch of doom seem in the Whoop Ass Girl...ERRR...I mean Powerpuff Girls. It wasn't THAT awesome guys! Jackie proclaims that she will NEVER wash this finger again. I don't think she has EVER washed her hands in her life; so that promise is likely to be kept easily. She runs around in a circle (complete with ultra contrived laugh) as she calls Kick awesome. And Kit Cloudkicker spins another 360 degrees in his grave. She grabs Kick and proclaims to be his #1 fan. Funny since he only has one other fan and that's Guthner. Can you say; conflict of interest? I think Guthner gets it at least as she wants all the trimmings to create the Kick Buttowski Fan Club; population her. I don't even want to think what the T-Shirts look like. Guthner then proclaims with the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH that Kick is not in it for the fame. Then explain to me why he doing this Guthner. Inquiring minds would like to know. Is it for your pleasure; or is it because you are a lonely fat ass. POW! OUCH! Ummmm....
Jackie retorts because every great American hero has a fan club. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Because Kick is not a great American hero see. He's a jackass who is just asking for a public beating. She then shows some trading cards which include Billy Stumps, Rock Callahan and Boom McCondor. That last one actually would be ironic for Kick's character in general. Rock is of course African American and she is in all the clubs. Let me guess: she created them too. It makes sense since Kick is about as Z-Grade as these losers. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Guthner accuses her of having wax in her ears and Kick gleefully ignores him and takes the trading cards. He likes the idea and so Jackie takes the cards away and runs stage left to get started. That lasts for two seconds and then she comes back and asks for his name again.
Kick does it James Bond style and this one is clearly vainglorious. Notice the obvious difference between his introduction and Kit's in Plunder and Lightning? Notice the animation when he announces it compared to Kit. I think this is more evidence that Susan C. Mitchell has a valid point on Kit's name. Jackie of course goes bonkers and we have the Kick Buttowski Fan Club; population her. You know the animation sucks when she literally grows three more arms per side in excitement and then touches the helmet again. And this is still more classy than the "Touch The Monkey" spot in Dave The CLEANING BARBARIAN OF LAUGHS. She screams and runs off stage left. Kick proclaims to Guthner that he has a biggest fan. Yeap; let's go all Mister T on the audience Kick. It's "the biggest fan"; just for your information. Guthner has that stare of doom as if he is trying to kill her; but it's so lame that he obviously went to the Skydiver's School of Emoting.
So we go to the KB scene changer (wow; the budget is shoe string at this rate) as we head on top of a donut sign (the old chocolate with sprinkles on it kind) as Kick and Guthner are on top of it. Seriously; they are. Then we cut to a zoom cut below as Jackie is screaming her head off that Kick can do it. Kit Cloudkicker would have this stunt done and home to watch TaleSpin in three minutes. Did I just say THREE MINUTES?! (Sadly; Jamal is legit dead and Rosey might as well be.) Damn......So much for stopping this episode. Where is Kayne West when you need him?! Then the zoom in shot with Kick (ala Snuff/Slaughter) as we cut to Guthner who magically brings out a box of chocolate donuts and waves goodbye to them. Instead of being somewhat sensible and eating them; he coats Kick with them on his bodysuit. What is the point of this?! This goes on as Kick proclaims that it's time to do this and to hell what Guthner thinks anyway. So Kick dives down and does the loop de loop for 15 dollars and 15 cents (chocolate covered mind you) as Jackie uses her camera to take pictures. Man; she is really a psychopath to be willing to do this and NOT call the police.
Kick slides inside the giant donut (adding vandalism to the list of crimes done by this vainglorious bastard) as the picture taking continues. Jackie gets off death reference #1 for the episode as we get more sliding. Kit doesn't need to stoop to using chocolate for this one. Kick then goes a full circle and drops as he grabs onto the wire; REPEATS THE SPOT and then lands with a perfect three point landing as Jackie now knows how the Easter Bunny must feel. The chocolate pours off of her in such a goofy way as she screams that it was awesome. Only in her bubbly world of course. She then hugs Kick and licks his helmet. EWWWWWWWW! Now she is getting close to stalker status now. Kick asks for the time as Guthner slides down the wire and it's 8.06 seconds. More like 15 seconds; but that is still better than some. A new record either way as Kick wants to do it again; but Jackie no sells because she wants to show Kick his new website. Jackie drags Kick away as Guthner is so confused by all this as he breaks logic since he originally landed on the pavement on the first shot and then ten seconds later he somehow teleports to the top of the building.
More screeching ensues as we get a shot of the streets and we go inside Kick's bedroom as a naked Kick arrives with a towel over his naughty parts as per his contract to be nude at least once per short. Kick goes to the drawers (NOT THOSE ONES) and brings out some goofy underwear and slingshots it as it bounces around the walls and ceiling and it somehow gets on Kick despite the back shot clearly showing that he is down on the ground firmly. So that's the second logic break of the episode in the last 20 seconds. And naturally the underwear is on when he throws the towel down; and so he continues with his melodramatic putting on his clothes. We then get some disjointed shots of Kick going into the school bus outside. We then head inside the bus as Guthner is sitting alone in his seat (and Brad is behind him by the way- Do I smell Dillweed coming at six o'clock?) as he tells Kick that he saved him a seat. That's one of the few classy moments from Guthner in the last three shorts. He even goes as far as magically revealing a platter of cereal with Cheetah Chug (Disney Captions has it as Chia Chug) poured on it. A toxic boy is made of toxic materials; even more so when your cereal makes fireworks. So I don't buy that this is a nutritious breakfest no matter what Guthner says. And naturally the CONTINUITY is shot to hell as Brad vanishes and is replaced by a new kid. I didn't think that was possible with one storyboarder, but they managed. Kick wants the toxic breakfest; but the savior to anti-toxic meals the world over Jackie grabs Kick away and plops him on the seat next to her off-screen. Guthner does the Gruffi pose of course as we pan left to Jackie explaining Kick some new playing cards as Kick calls them sweet.
We get a shot of the vainglorious bastard on top as Jackie claims that it really captures his inner awesomeness. I think it actually captures something else; and awesomeness is not one of them. And they are those switch plate cards I see where a flick causes the picture to change to something else. It's kind of 2D; which is more than I can say about this series in general. Kick proclaims that he never knew how great it was to have fans and Guthner sarcastically repeat him in such a bad way that it makes Baloo look like Kit Cloudkicker. Stare of doom ensues as we get more rock music and the budget is running out as they couldn't afford the KB scene changer this time around...Sigh.... So we head to Mellowbrook School outside. We know this because a white granite like sign sezs Mellowbrook School in black letters; and it also has a coat of arms on it's flag right beside it. I don't think this is going to help their image with "No flag but American flag" goofballs out there. Again; if I cared. And no; I don't know what it says below the sign because it's too blurry (again; this episode on Youtube is filmed with the camera pointing at the television so I can barely see any words smaller than size 14 font). We then head into the lunch room (helpfully labelled as such on the blue door) as Kick heads inside and Guthner yells at him to come over here. We cut to Guthner waving at him as Kick wants to go there; but Jackie cuts him off at the pass. And she's screaming of course which just makes the stalking thing even more obvious.
She shows Kick a sardine peanut butter and marshmallow snadwich just as he likes it, complete with toothpick dill pickle. I see where Brad gets his dillweed insults from. The sandwich is no more disgusting than sweet potato casserole; that retro food from the late Urban Peasent James Barber back in 2000. Jackie walks Kick over to another table as Guthner gets mad about five seconds too long. I've seen Santa & The Ice Cream Bunny emote with better timing than Guthner is here. Guthner then takes the ketchup bottle (so this cafeteria is like a resturant? Whatever.) and squirts ketchup on his burger and it's badly done. Evidence #1: The ketchup bottle should have explode in his hand when he does it and it did not. And it's an angry face on the burger. Whatever....and so somehow; the budget found a place for another KB scene changer. We head to Jackie's house (or Kick's; it's hard to tell) as we get a close up shot of Jackie selling Kick Buttowski balloons. You know something is up when Jackie is turning into a carnival barker. It's five dollars by the way as we zoom out and see two girls outside (one wearing Kick's helmet~!) as Jackie reveals the CONTRACT OF HOPELESSNESS as the girls get discounts on everything Kick related. So the fan club is population her, herself and Irene. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
She's even selling autograph bandaids which is actually quite hilarious on SO MANY LEVELS. Jackie might be a stalker; but she is carrying this episode kicking and screaming. She also gets death reference #2 by the way. The KB helmet wearing girl wants them and the blond green dressed girl with the balloon wants the smelly sock. Then we anime teleport (one of the first times I have said that actually) over to Kick in front of a white fence as Guthner dives down from the trees like a monkey in his leaf suit. I'm not shocked in the least since one of the shows some of these guys worked on is My Gym Partner's A Monkey. Guthner did some reconnaisance see (I cannot believe he can say that word) and he has something shocking from his reconnoitering. And Guthner goes back into character as he drops down onto the ground with a really wussy bump. Kick blows Guthner off nicely and then Guthner downgrades his class level even more by grabbing his bodysuit because he's serious. Kick doesn't get it at all and for once I don't blame him. Guthner looks like a rabid dog without the actual rabidness. In other words; mental illness. Guthner attempt to act dramatic is so lame that he sweats so you know it's lame. Guthner then plops Kick in his leaf suit of doom like a baby and wants to go into stealth mode. Okay; now that is funny as Guthner and Kick exit stage left.
So we cut back to Jackie on the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS (the same one Guthner used in Dead Man's Drop! How about that?! No wonder Guthner is so jealous of her; she stole his megaphone) and calls all the neighbors out from a one mile radius asking if they realize that they are living with a real stuntman. Answer: No because Kick is not a stuntman. He's a Z-Grade Bart Simpson wannabe at best. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But the thought and effort is certainly there Jackie. We then see Guthner climbing up a tree behind Jackie (I fail to see the point of this since Jackie is too whacked out to notice anyway) complete with twinkletoe sound and animation effect. I see flash animation can do that spot as good as anything done by Hanna Barbera. And so they climb the tree as Kick asked Guthner why they are breaking & entering plus trespassing (add to the list of petty crimes these goofs are doing) into Jackie's house through a second floor window. Your guess is as good as mine Kick. This ends the segment four and a half minutes in. This short isn't too bad all things considered.
After the Youtube break; we return as Guthner tells Kick that he will see as he climbs in and takes a decent bump off-screen inside. That is the most useless bump to make look decent guys. So we head inside as Guthner yanks Kick from the baby carrying sack (as makeshift as it gets) and puts him down as Guthner tells him to behold the whacky. I agree with him on one level at least. No one paints their houses legit white anymore. And wasn't Jackie's house a different color earlier in the episode? I thought it was blue inside the walls? Never mind; let's behold the whacky as we see that it's the exact room as Kick's! That's not whacky; that's KICK's room and they are in KICK's house! Now THAT is the Patrick Star stupidity I remember from Spongebob SquarePants.
He looks around and there is a voodoo doll of Kick in a chair surrounded by torches. Okay; that is whacked out! More looking and Kick notices his underwear (red, banana yellow trim, white band with Kick in black letters and white hand in the devil salute) and thought he lost those pair. Funny since he wears the same underwear every day. Guthner asks if he gets the picture and he proclaims that he get it. He gets it because it's fantastic while pumping his fist. I see the Patrick Star stupidity bug is infectous. Guthner is flustered and almost takes God's name in vain (Oh; for the love of...) and grabs the voodoo doll on the chair and gets pissed off. Guthner then does his girly voice from Stumped on the doll and Kick laughs at it. Now that is nice CONTINUITY from Stumped I should note since Kick usually laughs at the girly face (Mr. Bellyface as Guthner calls his sexist fat ass belly. POW! OUCH! Ummm..).
Kick calls Jackie his number one fan. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments as Guthner drops the doll on the floor complete with squeak sound. Kick then notices something else as we anime teleport to Kick eating cupcakes on a white clothed table with a heart shaped red curtain with a golden K in the middle of the heart. Guthner calls him out because Jackie is whacky. And yes; Guthner said the exact same thing I said and thus violates ANIME DUB CONDUCT RULE #12 (Thou shalt no rhyme because it's COOL and anime purists hate COOL stuff.). Kick asks why as Guthner walks in and eats a cupcake. Well; that REALLY help's Guthner's creditability even though the cupcakes have Kick's FACE on them in icing. Kick's full mouth promo is quite hilarious for the wrong reasons I might add. She even went through his trash. That's not whacky; that's recycling! Illegal recycling; but still that's only one crime against her. And maybe copyright infringement....Guthner calls her obsessed. NO?! REALLY?! Is this some rib on the Anti-Disney Movement because if it is; it doesn't work. Not even the Anti-Disney movement cares about Kick Buttowski to bash it. Steet does; but Steet is NOT part of that movement; thank the lord for small favors.
Guthner orders Kick to get rid of his fan (Captions thinks it's far making Disney Captions look SMART in comparsion) and Kick asks if Guthner is a fan of his. Guthner is SHOCKED that he cannot eat the cupcake and proclaims that he is NOT a fan of Kick. He's a FRIEND see. Guthner looks like he's ready to cry; but walks out. Dammit; for god sakes; you can EMOTE better than that Guthner. It's supposed to be a dramatic scene; but Guthner's emoting makes me not care about him. And then he makes it worse by coming back and Kick takes it as a sign that he has gotten over it. Of course; Guthner grabs the platter of cupcakes and walks away for good. I gave Guthner a chance to redeem himself and he screwed it up badly. Now I don't officially care if Kick gets rid of his fan or not. They deserve each other since Jackie is literally carrying this short on her back screaming and kicking.
So we head to a completely recycled shot of the outside of the school (no logic break since it is probably the next day) as the bell rings and we go to the hallway of green lockers as Kick walks with purpose and I betcha Jackie shows up within five seconds now. I check the video.....Damn; I'm good. Even better is that Jackie is INSIDE the locker when Kick opens it! Now why didn't they just make JACKIE the main character?! She's the most over character in the series now and makes Brad look like a sissy as a over the top hyper tweener. She got the principal's permission (do you sense the principal hates Kick's guts and sees Jackie as a savior to his problems? Hmmmmm...) to move the locker next to his and even knocked the walls out so they can be room mates INSIDE the locker. This is the best Kick Buttowski short EVERAH~! She even baked cookies inside that locker and they are now called Kickies. Now THAT is a witty name for a kick ass bite of a cookie if you ask me. And yes; they have Kick's face in icing on the cookies. Why do you ask?!
And there's even a fridge inside with milk as Kick is happy and Jackie drags him inside as Guthner walks away from the locker nearest to the fork in the hallway looking defeated. Stormy Weather is a million times better than this short; but this short is trying to making an effort not to suck at least. So we head to the classroom as Kick walks in vainglorious fashion to his desk and sits down on the chair. Or so we think as we hear Jackie's voice and we see on the zoom out shot that Kick is sitting in Jackie's lap as Jackie magically disappears the chair and becomes one! I don't care if that breaks logic and reason; that is downright funny. Kick is not amused as we cut to metal shop/wood working class as Kick is banging on something while Jackie is using a chainsaw to create a wooden statue of Kick Buttowski complete with devil's pose. Hey; Kick is actually doing something! There is hope for him...or not. And then just to make it even more hilarious; when she cheers for victory; the chainsaw cuts the head off. Sadly; it's only the wooden head as it bounces in front of Kick. Kick is scared of her now as Jackie sezs oopsie and laughs. Like I'm buying that she did that one unintentionally. The cutting; not the target she wanted to cut of course. That's the second beheading of the series (Dead Man's Drop anyone?).
So we flash teleport to Kick in the men's bathroom and he walks in looking afraid as he goes into the toilet stalls and takes a leak with the door conviently closed to hide the naughty parts again. At least this time; the logic makes sense and doesn't look glorified. The toilet flushes and the door open as Kick somehow breaks logic by not peeing in his pants despite wearing his bodysuit the entire time. How about that?! Kick tries to leave; but gets blowhorned. HAHA! That gives new meaning to the term: blowing the whistle. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Take one guess who did that to him? The sound waves are almost equal to his confusion waves when he drops on his back as Jackie reveals a stopwatch and that's a new record for him. HAHA! Don't you just love it when someone has enough fortitude to give Kick exactly what he deserves for being such a vainglorious bastard?! I think Maxie Zeus needs to watch this short.
She even drags him over to wash his hands. How sweet of her....So we head outside near a wooden fence at the street corner as Kick actually shows some class and WALKS on the sidewalk instead of in the street! How about that?! Kick walks out with his blue skateboard and thinks he is at peace and then sees the angry dog (who apparently hasn't forgiven the owner for not listening to Jay Leno) and wants to try out that silly stunt on him again. I betcha Kick tries it; Jackie comes out and screws him up and the dog gets his revenge on Kick. I check the video....Damn; I'm so good. Another reason why to beware of flash photography. And the animation was a lot better this time around as Kick gets his leg bitten. Sadly; we don't see him bit on the ass which is strange considering that BS&P allowed Sunni to get her ass bitten by a horse in Gummi Bears back in 1985. And we fade to black....
...And return with Kick running on the sidewalk all dirty and smelly. He goes around the bend as Jackie has vandalized the wooden fence with hearts for Kick. Kick stops and proclaims that Guthner may be right after all. If Jackie is Whacky then I don't care what either one of them thinks because this is awesome! Then we get the CHILD CORRUPTING BALLOON OF DOOM on Kick as his eyes are bloodshot and Jackie keeps torturing him for my pleasure despite being nowhere near him. I am so loving this; even more than when Kit did it to Baloo in Plunder and Lightning Part Three. This one is on purpose; while Kit's was unintentional. Kick then hears a horn honking and he snaps out of it as a echo is heard and we see Mrs. Whackerman (same face; only older with a green shirt and blue bracelets) waving to Kick as they are their biggest fan as even the son of this family is like Jackie (only with a baseball cap). That echo effect may be Z-Grade; but it WORKS here as Kick opens his eyes and runs into the street. Well; I knew it wouldn't last and rams right into the badly drawn plumber's ass of the dead rose obsessed guy from Deadman's Drop checking his mailbox. And the bump was terrible by the way.
Kick gets up and calls him Mr. Vickle. Finally; we have a name that has an actual voice actor! Mr. Vickie is voiced by Joe DiMaggio who started with The Raccoon War as Ryutaro in 1994. Shnookum's & Meat Funny Cartoon is his DTVA debut believe it or not. He does mostly cameos and voice acting; as Golgo 13 in Golgo 13: Queen Bee and Steve Ballmer in Pirates of Silicon Valley (A must view for those in the electronic entertainment industry), Final Fantasy The Spirits Within, Wakka & Kimahri Ronso in Final Fantasy X and Gilgamesh (!!!) in Final Fantasy XII, and...say it with me...in My Gym Partner's A Monkey. In Kim Possible; he's Doctor Drakken (boys! boys! boys!), Lilo & Stitch The Series (same character in crossovers), Emperor's New School (Mr. Notaempa), FuDog in Amercian Dragon Jake Long, Phineas & Ferb (Pinhead Pierre) and The Replacements (Buck Spikes). He is also Bender in Futurama and his most recent credits are Batman: Under The Red Hood as The Joker and Danny Greene: The Rise & Fall of the Irishman (Narrator). He seems to be is quite a few Irish themed shows by the way.
Mr. Vickie forgives him when Kick apologizes (finally some class out of him) and Vicki turns around and is wearing the Jackie glasses proclaiming that he's his #1 fan. HAHA! Kick screams so badly that his mouth seemly has water bubble gum in it. And then we head to a close up shot inside Kick's bedroom as Kick sighs because it's all just a dream. And then he sees Jackie in spotted purple pjs (the second cutiest pj's in history next to Molly's) with green frog slippers as she proclaims that he purrs in the bed. Kick screams and demands to know why she's on his bed. And Kick is naked again from the wraist up as Jackie has the pillow and bashes Kick with it. Sadly; Kick doesn't even sell and the animation is so terrible as there is ZERO recoil on the pillow when it makes contact. I cannot tell if it's a BS&P decision or not; but considering all the other bumps; it points to bad animation.
So we head to the front door as Kick rings the door bell outside and it's Guthner's house as Guthner answers it and sees a green present with orange spots on it. Guthner grabs it and it shows Kick hiding in it. Kick's dignity has dropped about two notches after THAT one. It's still higher than Scrooge dressing himself as a baby though in Super Ducktales. Guthner finally respects me and stuffs the present over Kick and does the Gruffi pose. Kick pleads for help and Guthner tells him to ask his FAN for help as he walks inside. Yeap; this is the I Only Have Ice For You spot; and Guthner is at least in a position (see Baloo) where he doesn't have to do much emoting. Kick bangs on the closed door pleading for mercy as we use the door as a split screen while Guthner does the Gruffi pose while barricading the door. Guthner is stern on him as Kick admits that he is sorry and that Guthner is right about Jackie. Guthner of course showing little respect for meaning accepts it within two seconds. Well; this is Disney and even in XD; it's status quo. Guthner opens the door as Kick asks him about a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN and Guthner has one in mind.
So we RECYCLE THE FOOTAGE of the outside of the school the next day as the bell rings. Oh wait; a kid is outside this time, my mistake. We cut to Jackie (with a blue backpack) coming out the door into the playground. She notices Kick in front of a school sign (despite the fact that we saw NO ONE at the sign during the first show) as Jackie goes to him; but then we see Kick and Guthner blowing the whistle on people for walking too fast. If this is a plan; then I hope Jackie wins here because it is downright stupid. This is why Stormy Weather is the BETTER episode here. See; they ahave signed up for the Safety Patrol. I shudder to think what kind of DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) they would enpose. Jackie proclaims that a water main broke downtown and she has a surfboard on retainer. Geez; you don't think SHE caused the water main to break now didn't she?! Nahhhhhhhh....Kick gets giddy; but Guthner invokes the worst elbow I have ever seen as he weakly hits the back instead of the ribs where it would make MORE sense.
Kick recoils and sezs no thank you to the deal. See he wants to take his hall monitor exam. Jackie whines about it because Kick is supposed to be a daredevil see. Guthner blows her off because Kick is a scaredy-cat. I would call him a dumbass cat myself; but close enough either way since he is no daredevil. Kit Cloudkicker IS a daredevil. After all; he managed to dodge bullets like nothing else with no protection whatsoever. Guthner forces the point too much and Kick rams his fist into his eye which is actually a bit funny to me. Jackie complains that he is supposed to be a hero and a rebel. She is starting to figure out exactly what I have been seeing since the first short of this character. Kick proclaims that the whole thing was "just an act" and he's all about safety. If he was over then I would be sicing the Cloudkicker zombie on him right now for insulting Kit Cloudkicker; but since he is not, I don't care. It's a waste of "manos" energy as they say. He asks why he wears the helmet and Jackie points out it's for the stunts and Kick blows it off because it's not. So he's wearing it because he IS a wimp.
This is why Jackie should have been Kit Cloudkicker's #1 fan; then I could walk away in peace forever doing my usual things. Kick shows a stop sign because his way of life is to be a crossing guard. Considering that he breaks the law by going into the street walking most of the time; I say that this dream is shattered before it even happens. Kick then vaingloriously looks at the sign like a human (that is officially creepier than Jackie ever was!) as Guthner points out that he stepped on a magically appearing crack on the sidewalk. Kick thanks Guthner for that as Jackie feels defeated and walks out. Ummm; that's it?! No screaming?! No promo cutting?! No threatening?! No police officer coming to take her away?! Jackie actually looks like a classy hyper girl. Well; what a way to make youselves look like jackasses in the process guys! You basically buried the one awesome heel you could have had in this series. I hope you are proud of yourselves there. Jackie goes into the bus and the bus drives away as Jackie waves goodbye (and hopefully Googles Kit Cloudkicker because there is a fan club that would like her actually).
Kick waves goodbye with no emoting whatsoever and then he cheers for victory when the bus is out of sight because he is free to be as crappy as he can be. We get the anime background high five as Kick rips out of his safety clothes (no nudity this time). And Kick wants to surf that broken water main (which I bet Jackie created) and so we end with Oscar the Dressed Up Dog from earlier biting Kick right on the ass. About damn time someone did that. And of course Kick absolutely no sells the damn thing. The boys and dog exit stage right as then we see Jackie in the bushes laughing like a hyena to break logic and reason again. Oh well; I liked that ending more than the finish so who cares?! That officially ends the short at 10:30. And yes; we finally get a Kick Buttowski short that is above average; all due to Jackie of course. Could have better if Jackie became more psychotic at the finish instead of it ending the way we got. *** (60%).
Opening Moment # 2: The title card has a black background with white wave beside the drain pipe-equse title plus a small white fish below the title and a toilet on up which pretty much gives away the plot and finish right in advance.
Flush & Release: We begin this one with a sky shot of a lake that looks like a Simpson is sucking manhood. They just could NOT go ten seconds without something dirty; couldn't they?! We zoom down to see Kick yelling at Gunther to step on it as he is on an orange surfboard with a green rope. See the gully only floods once a year (Riiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhtttt) and it's devil sign and we start the slowest water skiing in history because Gunther is just TOO FAT and TOO FREAKIN SLOW~! Gunther is wearing a green hat for no reason whatsoever. Yeah; Gunther is wearing a life jacket but Kick isn't. Apparently; that jumpsuit doubles as a floatation device which is plain dumb. Why not just use Gunther as a floatation device?! Then we go faster after the rowboat and we see Kick IS wearing a life jacket after all. Nice. Kick praises Gunther's rowing skills; but Gunther isn't rowing as the GIANT ASS FISH OF DOOM is causing the rowboat to move at 75 miles per hour. The fish dives under the sea, causing the rowboat to slow down so much that Kick flips and lands into the rowboat with a really wussy bump. Sigh.
Gunther is SHOCKED as Kick is impressed because he lived it. See; Gunther didn't believe that the female fish was real as he does his ultra Z-Grade Martial Arts Zoom In of Doom complete with darkness as it's the Gabo De Diablo. Translated from Bad Spanish to English: The Goldfish From Hell. Gunther explains the legend with the flashback as we get stills of the CAPTAIN'S ARM OF DOOM (I see he got a new job after Suds from Spongebob SquarePants) throwing a fish into the toilet who is dead (death reference #1 for the episode) and it goes through the pipes into the gully and because the restraints of the fish bowl are gone she grew from 2 inches to the size of two Battlesnax's. Okay; she grew, but two Battlesnax's?! I think Gunther fish stories are as plausible as Monty's BS stories. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm...
When the gully floods; she appears to seek revenge on those who trespass on her turf. Considering Kick and Gunther; I think she has a case to do this. Kick sees MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH as he wants to catch the goldfish from hell and turn her into the ultimate wake-boarding experience complete with double devil pose. Ummm; yeah whatever guys. This is one time where Darwinism is helpful here. Gunther of course tries to weasel out of this because he has weak arms and good sense not to screw with Satan's Goldfish. Or maybe not. Kick proclaims that they need a bigger boat and then they get swamped and cap sized by the bigger boat. HAHA! The waves splash into our television screen (because this show is in your face see) and we see Gunther used as a personal floatation device by Kick. HAHA! Make the joke and pay it off. Now if only that was Whackie Jackie on top; but of course she isn't around and we see that Mr. Vickie is the captain of the bigger boat. Wow; I'm starting to like him already.
Mr. Vickie wants answers and therefore we go to the scene changer as we see Gunther and Kick on the boat with Mr. Vickie as they exchange notes on the situation. Mr. Vickie gets some fishing poles from the blue box as he wants into the fish hunt from hell because fishing on Cape Cod is right up his alley. Well; we can safely say that they are in Stoneham, Mass. No surprise since the show is basically a hyperbole version of his childhood anyway. Kick stops the whole thing because we need to get the martial arts zoom in since they may not make it out alive. Whatever Kick. Gunther panics; but Mr. Vickie blows them off because he's on the water and how could it go wrong??...And it starts to get stormy. HAHA!
So we get some melodramatic boat crashing on the high seas to waste some time and it's a lot more amusing than any other episode minus the episodes with Jackie in them. Mr. Vickie and Gunther run around as Kick takes over the WHEEL OF IMMORTALITY. Why? So he can be vainglorious silly. Thankfully; the waves are on my side and Kick gets swamped and throw against the edge as he spits out water like a fountain. HAHA! The boat goes up the waves as the magically out of nowhere fridge goes overboard forcing Gunther to grab onto the electric cord and panic. Whatever guys. Gunther screams for help as Kick runs off leaving Mr. Vickie at the wheel and he gets spun like a wheel. HAHA! Never screw around with a wheel. Gunther cannot hold on and his hand slips from the rope; but Kick grabs him and hangs on as Mr. Vickie guns the motorboat engine and we do the water ramp spot into the air and it splashes into the water as the weather changes to clear in less than one second. Logic break #2 for the episode right there.
The boat pops up from the carnage as the fridge is saved; but Gunther is out. Kick pleads for Gunther to wake up as he does and gets death reference #2 for the episode as Kick is so happy and then he is so angry with himself for putting Gunther in such danger over something that was fake. And then the GOLDFISH FROM HELL arrives and takes a huge bite out of the boat and eats the fridge with it. HAHA! Screw you Kick Buttowski! You made your bed; now lie in it you vainglorious bastard! Gunther gets up and there's no left leg and he screams badly. See what a horrible miscast Gunther's voice has become?! Sadly for me; his leg is fine; but only his shoe, sock and pant leg are gone and so he has a bare left foot for the remainder of the short. He still screams over losing his Viking shoe; but Kick, expert of ethical sense everywhere proclaims that it's a small price to pay for the ultimate wakeboarding experience! Whatever Kick. Gunther loved the shoe and called it Lefty. Ooooookkkkkayyyy.
So we go to the scene changer with a far shot of the magically repaired boat for logic break #3 for the episode. We go to the rear end of the boat as we see a can of goldfish food and then zoom out to see Kick pouring it into the sea. Whatever Kick. We zoom in and pan left to inside the cabin of the boat as Gunther and Mr. Vickie exchange notes on the goldfish from hell. Mr. Vickie thinks Gunther is being crazy and it must be some other fish. Remember that for the ending as Gunther shows him the carnage of his left leg as evidence and Mr. Vickie blows him off. I know Gunther is in the right here; but Mr. Vickie is quite a good character so I'm taking his side over Gunther. At least it keeps the focus off the unlikable one of the trio (Hint: Maxie Zeus wants to punch his face in). Really funny spot: Gunther orders Mr. Vickie to tell his damaged leg that goldfish have no teeth and that's exactly what Mr. Vickie does and then they catch themselves and have a good laugh. They praise each other and then Gunther gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLARITY as there is rumbling and the green sonar is pinging making Kick Buttowski run in just to spoil the aura this episode was getting into.
Gunther panics that Gabo El Diablo is here to eat him; but Kick isn't buying it as he has teleported outside the boat with his can of goldfish food and that allows the GOLDFISH FROM HELL to jump up and lunge towards Kick. YES! YES! EAT HIM! DO IT FOR THE GOOD OF DTVA DAMMIT! Sadly; he steals the goldfish food (in vainglorious Powerpuff Girl slow motion) and dives into the sea. Damn you to hell BS&P! The goldfish swims away and Kick sees his opening and so he goes into the vanilla box to reveal the FCC FRIENDLY HARPOON OF DOOM (A rope with a plunger on it. This worked in Rescue Rangers, since Gadget is a recycler; but this is a BS&P decision if I ever saw one here.) and he throws it and it sticks onto the goldfish's back. Kick loves this as the rope tightens up completely as Gunther and Mr. Vickie see the results and we have the motorboat racing wake board style. Gunther states the obvious truth for us as Mr. Vickie mans the wheel and gives it full throttle to counter. Mr. Vickie proclaims that she's too strong and wants Kick to cut the line before the ship goes down. Gunther takes Vickie's side; but Kick wants the ride. UGH! He tells Gunther to save himself as he takes his magically appearing surfboard and cuts the line with his teeth. You wish you were Baloo and Kit combined Kick. Gunther grabs onto him because he's not going to let him die (death reference #3) as Kick asks about who said anything about dying (death reference #4). Please Gunther; let him go. Let Darwinism take it's course and let the cream rise to the top already.
Gunther loses his grip and Kick's wake board flies away from Kick and we do some belly surfing with the goldfish from hell while Gunther screams badly again. Good; that means this won't be the finish and we can create a better finish as a result. Mr. Vickie rips off his captain suit as Gunther orders him to go after him with directions. I guess Bob Iger has no issues with complex speaking and thank the lord for small favor. Mr. Vickie guns the engine and it's the SCOOBY DOO BOAT SEQUENCE THE GOLDFISH EDITION~! Bouncy move and then splash in the screen to start and then we chase as Kick positions himself and does the devil sign. Water skiing with some okay moves as the boat gives chase with Mr. Vickie at the wheel. Side by side; goldfish gets inspired and dives to try to drown Kick but Kick no sells and REPEATS THE SPOT! Whatever Kick. The goldfish dives up and over the boat about three times with the third one being in slow motion with Kick in mid-air with glee. Okay; that looked impressive. More surfing and the goldfish finally decides to screw Kick good by stopping on a dime forcing Kick to slip from the rope and fly into the air and apparently; the water physics act like ice because he does the splits ON OCEAN WATER~! That made no sense whatsoever.
Kick sinks and then pops up and spits water. Kick sees the motorboat on the left and the goldfish on the right as Gunther yells to Kick that they'll circle the boat to get him. Mr. Vickie guns the engine (WRONG LEVER!) while the goldfish guns herself towards Kick as Kick is now the filling in the middle of the awesome sandwich. Sadly; the goldfish jumps too soon; allowing Gunther to use the life preserver to grab Kick from the water while the Goldfish dives into the water. Gunther and Kick bump into each other onto the boat and then the waves push the boat stage right as Gunther yells at Mr. Vickie to gun it as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQEUNCE THE REVENGE OF THE HELLISH GOLDFISH EDITION~! Then we come to the most absurd moment of the series as the motor boat sinks into the ocean on a dime as the goldfish doesn't suspect a thing and then gets speared by the boat turned 90 degrees. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I thought this series was above this Family Guy crap?! And this episode was actually doing pretty well for itself too.
The goldfish dives into the water about 100 feet away as Gunther yells at Kick as he wants to get the hell out of here and Kick does his vainglorious pose and proclaims that they can. He also thanks Mr. Vickie for his work as Mr. Vickie proclaims that he once was in the Navy. So Mr. Vickie tries to floor it; but the engines do nothing....AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING. Mr. Vickie checks the gas line and they are out of fuel and apparently; the fuel hatch are bigger than Gunther's fat ass. Gunther calls it cliche as Vickie slams the door and we fade to black as we return near a tower bell with the boat going nowhere of course on the far shot. The bell rings as Gunther contradicts all by claiming that it's quiet. Riiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhhtttttttt Gunther. It's too quiet for Mr. Vickie as Kick keeps his eyes peeled as the goldfish from hell shows up and starts to blitz the boat. Wheeeeeee. Kick wants to rumble as he tells everyone to brace themselves as the goldfish bashes the side of the boat and Kick bounces and falls into the drink. HA! Screw you Kick Buttowski!
The goldfish dives in as we get the over dramatic bull-crap with Gunther and Mr. Vickie thinking that Kick is dead. If only guys; if only. It's not called Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil for nothing you know. The Spanish music just takes the sails out of it as we see the goldfish pop up and Kick is riding fish boy. Whatever Kick. Kit is much cooler with Moby Dimple than you are with Goldie. The goldfish from hell drops onto the boat and Kick drops onto the deck sliding with water as if it were blood. Again; whatever guys. Goldie thumps onto the boat as Gunther and Mr. Vickie try to escape; but the giant ass fins gain about 12 feet and block the paths. Oooookkkkayyyyy. Kick gets up and notices the logic break as Gunther and Mr. Vickie backs are against the wall with the goldfish stalking them. It seems all over for our heroes and then the real good part comes as Mr. Vickie notices the scar on the goldfish's forehead and walks slowly forward as Gunther pleads for him not to go. Vickie gets roared violently and then sezs one word: Goldie and the goldfish finally stops being pissed off.
Yes folks; Gabo El Diablo was Mr. Vickie's pet goldfish who apparently died as we go to footage from years ago in either Vickie's house or Navy ship bathroom as he is sad as there is a huge gash on the forehead of Goldie and appears to be dead. Mr. Vickie places Goldie in the toilet bowl and said his goodbyes before flushing it down the drain. We return as Mr. Vickie is so happy to see Goldie alive and they embrace. Now if it wasn't for the ADD nature of this show this would be as emotional as any TaleSpin episode and would have a build as to why Goldie died. Still; I had to shed a tear over this and the music is dead on for this scene compared to the fake death earlier. It works because it makes Mr. Vickie more than just a play toy for Kick to use as a Kenny character. Gunther calls it so sweet and he cries; while Kick looks disgusted and does the Gruffi pose and wants a lift. Leave it to Kick to be so inhuman in one of the only pathos scenes in this series. Shame on Kick and a curse on his house to boot. So we then go to the SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM as Goldie tows the motorboat as the sun sets in the west and Kick of course surfs behind the boat on the magically out of nowhere wake board. That ends the episode at 10:12. A good episode; much to my surprise; all done by Mr. Vickie and the finish of course. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Finally; a decent short in Obsession For Kick that wasn't a complete mess. Kick and Gunther are still unlikable as usual and Gunther's lack of emoting is rivaling Kick's at this point. And yes; there were about seven or eight logic breaks and several blown spots that made me cringe; but the gross out stuff was kept to a minimum and Jackie was really on her game (until the ironic non-hyper finish that made me hate her for the wrong reasons.) with her hyper routine to the point that I was enjoying seeing her torture Kick Buttowski to no end. She is officially the most over character in the series and I doubt that we will ever see her again. In TaleSpin; this wasn't a bad thing and was a neat feature since Baloo and the main cast was pretty over (with Kit and Don Karnage literally tearing it up and even Baloo was good enough for government work.); but in this show, this is a bad sign because I want Jackie to be in the main cast as the main character. So despite the mess; I got some shocking entertaining stuff despite the fact that it was done by only one character.
Now Flush & Release is a good episode in spite of the gaping leaps of logic and the usual unlikable Kick Buttowski doing pointless bumping. I have new found respect for Mr. Vickie as a character because he's really a good character with some heart and soul as shown in the finish as it was done very well in spite of the ADD nature of the show preventing a better build and thus could have been more emotional and on par with TaleSpin. Cannot fault the effort on that though. Gunther was pretty good and there was very little jackhammering and no bodily fluid jokes notwithstanding the beginning of course....and I liked the goldfish from hell too. In other words; a good episode that was written good enough to please me. However; it still failed in one important area: Making Kick Buttowski the lead character in his own show likable. He is still his usual vainglorious self.
Well; that means I got four complete 22 minutes episodes done (eight shorts total) and three 11 minute shorts for a grand total of 25% of the series done. Six thumbs down, four in the middle and one thumbs up total which is a better average than I expected. However; this series is not going to get over the hump as long as Kick Buttowski is unlikable. I hope to have this one combined with Obsession With Kick on the rant shack soon and next up is Her Chance to Dream and the TaleSpin re-rants. So....
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you next time.
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