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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Runaway Recital/Trike X-5 Rant

Reviewed: 10/27/2010

Brianna Is So Creepo-awesome!

Oh goody! Someone uploaded two more shorts of our vainglorious bastard on Youtube. That means only one thing: I get to trash said shorts and give them the fisking they all deserve. YAY! So our first short reveals Kick facing his next gravest challenge to date.....wait for it...wait for some more....playing a piano! If your response is: "Is that the best they could come up with?!"; you are not alone. I guess it's time to face the music....and boy I really hate Kick Buttowski's theme song. Oh goody; we also get into the meat of her gimmick for Trike X-5 as Brianna steals Kick's bike. Let's rant on shall we....?!

Runaway Recital is written by Mitch Larson, story done by Bart Jannett, storyboards done by Scott O'Brien and directed by Chris Savino. Bart started writing for the Chevy Chase show in 1993, and did two videogames based on Monty Python plus The Magic Hour. Recess is his DTVA debut (series, movie and OAV's and did story editing and punch writing. Huh?) and also did Lloyd in Space, The Replacements, Katbot, Ying! Yang! Yo! (TINY TOONS ON CRACK!) and George of the Jungle the 2007 edition. He also did story editing for the OAV Bratz: Passion 4 Fashion - Diamondz. Umm; yeah that's it for him.

Trike X-5 is written by David Shayne; storyboard done by Phillip Moseness and directed by Chris Savino. Phillip has done layout for Tiny Toon Adventures, Animanics, character animation for The Pagemaster and Sylvester & Tweety Mysteries. 101 Dalmatians: The Series is his DTVA debut and he also worked on Mickey Mouseworks, House of Mouse (including the Christmas special), The Tigger Movie and Cinderella 2: Dreams Come True. Phil also worked on Dilbert, The Life And Times of Juniper Lee, Clifford The Big Red Dog, Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks and Casper's Scare School. That's about it.

As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.

Opening Moment #1: Today lame ass title card is musical notes with a red background of Mellowbrook and the last note on the far has a faceless head with Kick's helmet on top. Wow; they did some good music for this one which is a perfect waste of talent for whomever played that tune.

Runaway Recital: We begin with the white background edition of Kick Buttowski suiting up as western music plays. All in vainglorious wide screen as Kick stares at the piano. And of course since we are in the ADD era of cartooning we jackhammer the name Kick and the piano in complete with western flourish,  black letters and the crimson red background. What? No saying it? That's kind of sloppy guys. Kick sweats bullets and twitches as this is getting stupid now. Thankfully (for us); Harold ends the nonsense as we head to reality (no, not really) and Harold pushes Kick towards the piano and blows him off. HAHA! About damn time that happened. Kick blows him off because music is not his game. Harold stands his ground because he wants Kick to be well rounded see. I cannot blame him for that; after all Kick has the worst opening theme song in all of DTVA. Maybe this is for the best. Harold accuses Kick of acting like a tornado and Kick accuses him of hyperbole. Harold twitches and we get a shot of the living room completely ransacked. HA!

Kick realizes that he is an idiot and sits on the stool (NOT THAT ONE!) in front of the piano as Harold cleans up the chair and claims that Kick might like it. Kick calls that one doubtful and tells Harold that if anyone calls; he's at the music doing the Gruffi pose. Heh. Then just to rub it in Kick's face; Kick looks outside and sees kids playing and a black kid riding on his bicycle and a girl jumping rope. We then cut to Gunther wearing a green helmet to match the handlebars on his bicycle as he goes through the pile of fall leaves and then they RECYCLE THE FOOTAGE; only they flipped the image. Ummm; whatever Gunther. That allows Kick to press his body against the window looking giddy. Harold blows him off of course and Kick is sitting back down with his elbow on the piano doing the only emotion he can emote perfectly: sulking. Harold continues the blowoff as he shows off his Cinderella skills (scrubbing the floors for the ten of you who care) and then we pan over to a goldfish bowl, a basket of clothes, and the vacuum cleaner. Now this short really sucks. HAHA!

Ron Sparks: It sucks more than Sean Desmond.

Kick does the double take as the goldfish has the evil eye contact violence (last seen done by Hoppo) and then the clothes basket and then the vacuum cleaner which allows Kick to channel the evil stare of Max from Max & Ruby which Kick cannot do properly. Too bad Max is five years old; or Kick would have a lawsuit on his hands here. So we do the KB scene changer as we see Kick with his back turned to Harold at the piano. Oh wait; it's the vacuum cleaner playing piano while the goldfish bowl is Kick's head. I guess the watermelon has been banned from use due to overt racist themes. Cannot say I blame them for removing it.  Naturally Kick is using a black boom box to play piano theme as Kick practices the fine art of not being seen by Harold behind the wall where the piano is. Kick tells his goldfish dummy to stay handsome and the recording speeds up as Cinderella Harold continues doing the exact same thing he always does. Kick panics for three seconds and then we get some more practicing the fine art of not being seen as Harold loves the music and then he hears drums and cymbals. Kick is so totally BUSTED~! Ummm; yeah. I don't think I need to explain that one (logic break of Harold grabbing him from the other side).

KB scene changer as we REPEAT THE FOOTAGE of Kick sulking and we then RECYCLE THE FOOTAGE outside the window; except that we see the broken down ice cream truck come in and we get the closeup shot of a black man with curly hair and beard with black clothes and he doesn't want the ice cream to melt. So he throws ice cream out of the truck and the kids all come out and grab some. Whatever guys. Kick goes into ice cream shock and his helmet beats the piano keys and then his face as Harold blows him off for both. Harold then comes in with the EQUAL PENDALUM OF DOOM to allow Kick some aid in rocking to piano beats. We all know that was set to pad out the running time because Kick just stares at it. We then cut to Harold showing off his drywall skills with the drywall plaster as Kick decides to play some mind games by speeding up the meter which Harold sells by plastering faster. That allows Harold to turn around the bend and Kick sees his opening and tries to escape. I betcha Harold breaks logic again like he did and busts Kick for that. I check the Youtube video.....Even better as Harold plasters the door locking Kick in. HAHA!  Kick walks back in shame of course.

KB scene changer as we see Kick sulking like a caveman and then we recycle the FOOTAGE outside the window; only this time a big ass truck arrives and breaks down right beside the ice cream truck and the midget man comes out  wearing hunting gear. Geez; that is not contrived in the very least, no siree. We then see Kick drool like mad at the window as the kids outside are playing on the back of the truck which is a skateboard ramp. Ooooookkkkkaaaayyyyyyyy. This goes on longer than it needs to be as Kick is not selling properly here. Harold blows him off for drooling (this guy has better vision than anyone on this planet) and Kick sulks back to the stool in front of the piano. Can you smell the obvious idiot plot here; or do I have to spell it out for you? Kick calls the piano out and finally plays it....really, really badly. I'm guessing Kick is trying to torture Harold with bad music so Harold realizes that this half assed piano playing is worse than his half assed tornado ransacking. He flops on his back and Harold gleefully no sells it! HAHA!  IN YOUR FACE KICK BUTTOWSKI~!

Harold decides to leave home to the hardware store to get some duct tape; and as he leaves he warns Kick that if he leaves the piano for even one second; he is in more trouble than he will ever experience in his life. Ummm; he has already left the spot; doesn't that count?! Yeah; I know, Harold is freakin dense. He then opens the door again and proclaims that piano playing is fun. I agree; if you are related to Christopher L. Stone. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So Kick sits back onto the stool and does the one finger playing as his eyes bulge out and we see a rock band playing outside. OH FOR GOD SAKES GUYS! This episode has been somewhat fun; and this window scene keeps ruining my buzz. And Gunther rides through two piles of leaves in the foreground of course. Kick gets giddy; but the IMAGINATION HAROLD BALLOON OF CHILD CORRUPTING DOOM calls him out on that one. Kick then has a knock on his head and we go outside with Kick sitting in the stool with the piano. Okay; that is the first smart thing Kick has ever done. THIS IS A SPECIAL DAY~!

We cut to the front yard as Gunther runs in covered with leaves and what looks like bird droppings. On second thought: THAT WAS DUMB KICK! EWWWWW! GET HIM AWAY! GET HIM AWAY! Oh wait; it's ligonberry as Kick licks some off his finger. Never mind. See; Gunther was looking all over for him because he couldn't find the ice cream man; or something like that. Kick gives Gunther the magically teleporting WD-40 (sigh) to grease up the wheels as Gunther points out the obvious to us. Kick points out that Harold only told him not to leave the piano as Kick greases the wheels. Why? So he can do a stunt with it and stay within Harold's mandate silly. He's Kick Buttowski after all. Like I said; too easy as Gunther is dumbfounded. So we logically go to the KB scene changer as we cut to Guthner on his bicycle and riding and sweating. Needless to say; we waste some time with Gunther riding on the bicycle ramp doing the work of 15 guys and a piano as Kick guessed it...absolutely NOTHING...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! Kick realizes that this is not working; so he needs more speed.

So we logically cut to a pan zoom out shot of Dead Man's Drop of course because apparently; this hasn't been overplayed enough by the writers. We zoom back as Kick does the badly sold Max look and we go to the scene changer as Gunther climbs with a rope up Dead Man's Drop with a bicycle. Seriously; that is what he does on the far shot.  Kick of course does absolutely nothing like the vainglorious bastard that he is. Isn't it funny that Kick is supposed to be a stunt kid and yet Gunther is outclassing him in every way. Kick is Disney's answer to Johnny Test; only more unlikable and uglier. Gunther proclaims that they did it and Kick proclaims that it should be enough to get speed to fly off the ramp. So Kick pushes the piano off-screen and the bicycle follows as Gunther uproots the Dead Man's Drop sign for good measure. Whatever you think works guys.

So we spend some time with the piano and bicycle bouncing down the ramp with Kick and Gunther in tow. Piano bounces over tree branch and the top nearly comes off of it which might become important later on. Gunther naturally takes more (manly) bumps than Kick, DUH! FPS shot as we are heading for the tree and Kick steers around it allowing Gunther to take the wussiest bump I have ever witnessed in the new Disney into the tree. Even by this show's lower standards;  that was wussy I tell ya! The tree uproots (of course) and it's more racing down the hill as we see a big ass boulder in the way which causes Kick to panic. FINALLY! Kick does something and he pushes some of the keys (like one from Deafula) and the piano turns right. I betcha Gunther takes an even wussier bump into the rock and uproots that one. I check the Youtube video....Damn; I'm so good. So much so that Gunther oversells it like he's dead from one of Joker's giggling poisons. He then gets squashed by the tree and that was the best bump of the lot which kills the continuity that they were shooting for there. Should have been wussier than even the rock.

So we get more racing and bad screaming from Gunther as the big ass rock rolls down the hill with them. Kick decides to play piano which shifts the  planks in certain directions. Okay; that is pretty resourceful of him. Kick proclaims that this is rock and roll and he starts playing the piano and it's a million times better. Whatever Kick. The piano crashes through the green hedge as we cut to a Canadian Goose walking on the dock near a lake and if you cannot guess what happens next; you have no business reading this rant. So we are PIANO SURFING~ as Kit's corpse turns another revolution in the grave with Kick playing the piano all the time while the goose harrasses Gunther. Kick dodges the geese with his piano playing as this episode is now getting overplayed if you catch my drift. Kick calls for Gunther to duck and of course Gunther gets a goose whacked into his fatty chops. HAHA! Gunther no sells the shot of course as we do the side shot of Kick playing piano in the lake to end the segment eight minutes in.

After the Youtube break; we REPEAT THE SEQUENCE as Gunther gets another goose in his fatty chops to amuse me. And then the episode gets absurd as Gunther gets his kisser whacked by a moose. In all fairness though; that wouldn't be the most absurd logic break I have ever seen in the series as Flush & Release demonstrated. The lake sequence ends with Kick going up nature's ramp with the bicycle following him. That leads to more piano playing and crashing through the steel barrier and into the road because Kick and Gunther are rebels, idiots, criminals, or all three combined depending on what mood I was in when I did this rant. So we get the FPS shot (from Gunther's bicycle) as Kick playing piano in the middle of the road of course. Whatever guys. I should be offended by this; but Kick is unlikable, so let Darwinism take over  FOR THE GOOD OF DTVA DAMMIT! Various side shots, closeup and sky shots later and the BILLY STUMPS FAN CLUB OF DOOM heads into the Performing Arts Center and we see the stage where the band is playing and the snobs in English gear being so boring. Whatever guys. Needless to say; the BILLY STUMPS FAN CLUB OF DOOM crashes in and knocks off the English guys eyepiece and then we get the off-screen destruction of the band (I club BS&P!) and they head out the side doors with Gunther stealing the tuba. Whatever guys. I know I said this a million times already; but I'm bored with this sequence and we still have two minutes left in the episode.

Gunther plays tuba with goose in it as we go to the Gunther FPS Shot Of Doom in the alleyway as Kick dodges a barrier and trash cans while Gunther gets the content splatted in his fatty kisser again. I think Gunther is regretting ever being Kick's friend after forgiving him in Obsession For Kick. And so they go into the streets again as Gunther looks like he would rather die at this point. We REPEAT THE SEQUENCE of traffic again and it's time to mercy kill this episode now. And it's not a lame show without the goofs going into the car wash and doing car wash spots of course. The Wuzzles version was much cooler as Kick is sparkly clean. So Sunwoo animation is doing Flash now? I feel so betrayed. No, not really. More racing in the streets with the piano as we do the old dodge the big ass trailer truck of course just to complete the obvious...and then we come to the most depressing part of the entire short as we see a marriage happening outside the chruch and the groom and bride try to kiss each other; but Gunther steals the bride and the groom kisses the preacher on the cheek. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! If only this show got as much heat as the Jonas Brothers did; there would be angry Buttowski sucks video on Youtube I swear to god. Even more depressing: It's a church and there are no crosses shown. I club BS&P!

We cut to the side shot of the racing piano (and surfing bicycle) as the bride thanks Kick from a horrible marriage. Oh lord; that is a BS&P spot if I ever saw one! Kick calls it the power of music and if that's the case, I should sue on behalf of the groom for non-support. Anyhow; we cut to a street corner as a fat lady in a purple sweater is carrying a girl who is bawling her eyes out. I know this because she's doing the UGH face spot from Peanuts. We also see a blue car with Harold driving it. I predict that he will be too dense to realize that Kick has screwed him and we have the happy ending. Prove me wrong guys! Prove me wrong. Naturally; Harold looks over to the screaming Peanuts girl and doesn't suspect the piano racing away in the foreground stage right. Harold proclaims that this lady has no control over her own children. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Harold?! Even more so with Brianna?!  So we do more shots of the racing piano including a really far sky shot as Kick gets giddy and plays more and we turn left 90 degrees. Why? Because he is doing the bicycle ramp silly.

However; before we get even that, we cut to Mr. Vickie tending to his flower garden and if you cannot guess what happens to him, you know what I mean. Vickie gets to be in front of the racing piano of course and he screams because he knows he's getting the Kenny-equse death in the next thirty seconds or so. Kick does the frame spot (which is lifted from Kevin Nash I should add; which partially explains why Kick sucks at least) and we drive up the ramp on the big ass truck of course. We do the SHADOW OF DOOM ET spot just to annoy me further and then we bounce off the right ramp and they land smack into the conviently placed tree near the cul-de-sac. Wait a second. Wasn't the truck to the left of the ice cream truck; so it couldn't be near the cul-de-sac! Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID! Did I mention stupid?

Gunther regains his senses as we pan over to Kick with the eyes and then he declares playing the piano AWESOME complete with double devil pose. Whatever Kick. So we get the KB scene changer inside the house as Kick proclaims that the piano is fun as Harold is dumbfounded since the piano is damaged beyond belief as Gunther, Mr. Vickie (who is alive thank goodness) take Kick's side on this along with the bride who is addressed as Michelle. Harold asks if he learned the entire song and Kick claims that he is and so he plays the piano and of course his playing sucks. HAHA! SCREW YOU KICK BUTTOWSKI~! Harold calls him out on that one and tells Kick to continue to practice. Kick proclaims that he can and Harold blows it off. Of course that logically leads to seeing Kick playing the piano properly while Harold rides on the top of the piano as we race the piano complete with anime background in the street. Ummmm; whatever Kick. Kick proclaims that he needed a change in scenery as they piano play off into the sunset to end the short at 11:20. A pretty charming clustermuck for the most part until it got depressing with the church sence. Call it ** 1/4 (45%).

Opening Moment # 2: The title card is basically rainbow colors with a shadow of Kick Buttowski drawn with shapes instead of like a character. Even sloppier: when they go to the credits; the X-5 is removed completely. Ummm; yeah.

Trike X-5: We begin this one at Kick's house with the sprinkler out onto the sidewalk. Don't ask me why; I don't know why. We then do the whiplash zoom in to the garage door and we see a sign which sezs in red, green and yellow outlined letters: Kick Buttowski's Museum of Awesome!! (The !! marks are separate sheets of white paper I should note) And since we are in the ADD era; Gunther said it. Sadly; no jackhammer effect used here though. So we head into the garage as Gunther walks in with the MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS (which he stole back from Whackie Jackie) with three kids who probably appeared in Snowpocalypse as the geek kid with glasses tries to get a word in but Gunther blows him off with the megaphone. Gunther then shows a destroyed helmet on display which looks like an oversized Easter Egg which cracks. Gunther claims that it was from his legendary Crash of the Titans. So we logically go to the flashback....

We see Kick going down the wimpy hill doing his devil pose with the worst emoting of excitement I have ever seen. He trips over a rock with the skateboard and tumbles and the helmet cracks like an egg off-screen before appearing in pieces. Like I'm buying this crap. He head back to reality (no, not really) as the kids sell awe. No really; I'm as shocked as you are. Then we see Gunther rise up to show the next BS item on display: Kick's destroyed blue sled from his legendary Ice Leap of Doom. Yeah; Gunther did in fact steal my gimmick. SO logically we go the flashback as we are in winter as Kick is going down a slightly steeper hill with the sled in the snow as Kick does the exact same thing as before. We even get the first logic break with the penguin in mid flight before we see the sled destroyed of course. We head back to reality (no, not really) and the foolish kids of course sell it.We then head to the lit jar which Gunther showing off Kick's collection of staps from his some named run that I cannot tell since Gunther slurs on the name and we go to the flashback as Kick is buried and his arm still has enough power to do the devil pose. Whatever Kick. We head back to reality (no, not really) as the geek kid wants to touch the jar; but Gunther slaps the hand away. BOO! HISS!

So we see Gunther back up with the megaphone as the kids follow as we clearly see Kick Buttowski doing a frozen statue pose of his vainglorious self on a podium (and I thought Gusto Gummi was vain?) as Gunther gleefully ignores it and we open the ultimate piece of "awesome" (like I'm buying this crap) complete with dry ice effects that don't catch and we get various shots of Kick's Tricycle the TX-5. Like I'm going to be impressed with a freaking tricycle. Kit Cloudkicker would seriously laugh Kick out of the stunt area until Kick commits suicide. Seriously; this is THAT lame. The kid (who seems to be literally changing skin color from brown to flesh in between shots) sells it as we hear Kick's voice and pan over to the obvious vanity spot of doom from Kick. Kick does some lame flips as Gunther turns on the lights (as if it needed anymore jack-hammering) as this is Kick's first tricycle and it sparkles and shines. Naturally; the TaleSpin watching-less kids sell it like it's awesome or something. If there was anytime we needed Brad to come in; this would be the time.

Sadly; the pain MUST CONTINUE as Kick remembers his first birthday as we logically go to the flashback complete with Happy Birthday title card. Sadly; no jackhammer saying in this one either. We get various shots of young Kick and his parents as Kick opens the present and we see the tricycle. Notice that even though this is about seven years ago; Kick is wearing the same damn outfit. Then shots of Kick and young Gunther (wearing all green; but with the same wooden shoes) setting up a stunt (at six years old?). So Gunther and Kick have been friends for six years at least. I thought it was less than that since he is from the old country. Anyhow; the stunt involves modding the TX-5 with spray bottles of whipped cream and the conveniently placed ejection seat. Geez; even at 6; he's a vainglorious bastard.

We then get a shot of the Earth and then a shot of Kick Buttowski in bed with the tricycle. Okay; that is ultra creepy even by this cartoon's recently lowered standards. He even took it to the ER once which thankfully isn't shown as we head back to reality (no, not really) and the Trike X-5 is gone much to the vainglorious bastard's shock and appalling. HAHA! Take one guess who stole it. The black kid admits that a girl stole it during the story and it's Brianna as we see Kick fling open the door and Brianna is caught red-handed. And the bike has a red bird on top which indicate that it might be HER bike and KICK stole it. Please let it be true writers! Brianna wants Kick out of her room and I agree with her as Kick is SHOCKED at the tricycle turning red which clearly shows that it's NOT Kick's. Brianna proclaims that Kick doesn't like his bike anymore (if only Brianna, if only) as Kick blows her off for ruining his tricycle and adding sparkles. So he hates Sunwoo Animation? THAT'S RACIST! Oh wait; that doesn't make me look good because I have been mocking them for the same spots. So it's not racist in the very least, no siree. Pay no attention to the ranter behind the curtain.

Brianna gleefully is happy as Kick walks to the wall and bangs head on said wall about five times while Brianna bikes out of her room. Okay; that is funny for some perverted reason I cannot put my finger on right now. Maybe it's Brianna smile on the way out. Kick tries to blow off Brianna complete with the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH; but she's gone. HAHA! I'm really starting to dig Brianna now creepiness modeling career aside. Kick blows off his parents for having a sister in roundabout terms which I counter: Jealousy much there Kick? Anyhow we go to the garage door opening and the Kick appearance shot just to annoy me. We get the snap sound effect as we show Kick showing his blue skateboard. Well; you got to waste time somehow in this short despite being nine and a half minutes long. So Kick skateboards out of the garage and we get a shot of Brianna pedaling and the tricycle changes from pink to blue. Oh lord; why do you test me so?!  Needless to say; it's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BRIANNA EDITION~!  We dodge object and bike faster as Kick does his usual jump over a fire hydrant.  Then it's the matrix move with the red jump suit wearing man and his dog. Where's Trish Stratus when you need her? Jump over the mailbox and we see Kick behind Brianna by about seven feet as Kick plays policeman and I'm hoping for someone to arrest Kick for impersonating one. Ummm; yeah.

Brianna blows off Kick (and wearing the pink helmet which holds her tiara) because Brad is looking after her as we logically go to the living room as Brad is picking his nose watching television. Oh screw you David Shayne! And of course next up on the television is Bikini Lumberjacks and Brad pumps his fist. No guys; the picking nose part wasn't disgusting. It's burying Brad that I'm blowing off Shayne. So we continue with the CHASE OF DOOM as Kick foolishly gets in front of Brianna with the skateboard with the Gruffi pose. Kick then grabs Brianna arm (to add sexual assault to his list of crimes) and Brianna has the IRON GRIP OF DEATH! YAY! Kick tries the unicorn fake out and Brianna no sells allowing Kick to take a wussy bump against the sidewalk tree. HAHA! SCREW YOU KICK BUTTOWSKI~! Sadly; the writers ruin it by having Kick no sell and get on the riding skateboard about three seconds later complete with Gruffi pose. Brianna blows Kick off and Kick goes through the conviently placed manhole cover into the sewers. HAHA! And then another logic break as Kick returns with skateboard invoking the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH because nothing...AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING can stop that move. Brianna no sells and bumps into the ass of a fatass as two Asian males (check the hairstyle) snap pictures of him which breaks logic since they are IN THE DAMN PICTURE~! Idiots!

So we see Kick on the ground as four kids are trying to steal Kick's soul with the camera (If only guys; if only). Kick isn't amused as Brianna bikes right into the park. Kick proclaims that she's lucky that she's Kick's sister as Kick gets on skateboard and the chase MUST CONTINUE~! Kick tries to grab the flag on the back of the pink cargo carrier; so Brianna counters with the BIRD BURPER OF DOOM and Kick dramatically oversells the eyes. Did she put acid in that thing? Please say yes; please! Kick of course eat bushes and spits them out. HAHA! See; as repetitious as this plotline is; the chase scene allows Kick to only bump like a madman which is the only thing that pleases me about him. Kick dodges trees and heads to the pond where he skips and stops as Gunther with inflatable tube and swim trunks does a cannon ball to splash water right into the screen of course. Only Gunther would jump in with his wooden shoes on. That creates the big wave as Kick is SURFING IN THE PARK'S POND and is beside Brianna for some odd reason. Kick tries to grab Brianna but misses by a mile (What a shock?) as she bikes out of the park and Kick is forced to skate over the brick wall and onto the sidewalk.

So we cut to Brianna biking and she bikes into a building. Kick follows and then he stops on a dime as we get the over dramatic SCARY SPOT OF DOOM. See; Brianna has biked into the beauty pageant. I know this because it said Pageant in white letters against a red background. And there are a vase of flowers in the background before that shot. And a trophy with the goofiest top ever made. We then get a really impressive 3D shot of Kick reading the cloth sign as it's the Miss Pretty Pink Precious Pageant. Wow; that's the first good thing Flash has done over cell animation and even CGI animation. Kick fake vomits right on cue of course. THAT'S SEXIST! And he vomits almost on screen into the garbage can; but we don't see the vomit. Thank you; that's all I ask. And then he vomits off-screen AGAIN! Brianna is becoming the babyface heel Brad wishes he could become.

So we get the first scene changer (at 5:10!!) as we see the girls putting on their creepy stuff and one of the girls are running around the dressing room as we see Mr. Vickie come in with the clipboard. Why does this not surprise me in the least?!  We pan over to the metal clothes hanger as Kick is hiding behind it. We then see Brianna bike in as she greets a black haired girl wearing a green skirt and green dress shirt with white socks, black shoes and a green chapeau. She also has a unicycle by the way which I am certain Kick will steal before this short is over. She is addressed as Penelope Patterson as Penelope blows off Brianna of course because we need a contrived rivalry to make the short stick I guess. Penelope is voiced by Jessica Di Cicco who started in child roles with Kate & Allie in 1989, Godfather III, In The Nick of Time, Household Saints, Bus #9, Witness to The Mob, and 18 Shades of Dust. She then did mostly video games and cameos in animation before becoming Shelby in Over The Hedge. The Buzz on Maggie is her DTVA as Maggie and went on to work for American Dragon: Jake Long, The Emperor's New Skool as Malina and The Replacements. She is Lexi Bunny in Loonatics Unleashed, Gwen in The Mighty B!, Wally in All Grown Up and Tica in The Secret Saturdays. She has 44 titles to her resume and Night Club is her most recent credit due out next year.

Brianna proclaims that she smells something and we get the VS. Shot of them making eye contact violence at each other and then walk away in opposite directions. We see Brianna pedaling away and naturally Kick misses grabbing the bike by a country mile. We hear Mr. Vickie yelling at some guy in a black suit wheeling the clothes rack stage left and Mr. Vickie following looking like a flaming homosexual the entire time. Good; because it's still better than him being Kick's chew toy for stunts. Kick is denied as we see Brianna pedal away from Kick towards the door. Kick is not amused as we cut to Brianna pedaling and blowing a green kazoo just to annoy Penelope. HAHA! Penelope mocks Brianna of course as Brianna trade insults on her hairstyle. If Brianna thinks her hair is a style; she's lost it upstairs if you catch my drift here. Penelope wheels away blowing off Brianna and Brianna sulks with the kazoo in her mouth as she wheels off stage right. We then see the man wheel the clothes rack away as Kick jumps off and the pink feather boa grabs onto him. Kick sneezes and pops off the feather boa and bounces near the stage as Kick blows them off and asks who comes to these things. Naturally we get a shot of the audience and see Gunther with popcorn box in hand wiggling his shoes. Whatever guys.

Kick yells for Gunther and we go to the second scene changer as we see a crimson red X on the stage floor which is usually the signal for the sandbag over the head of someone to drop on. Only in this case; it's Kick on a wooden catwalk with a rope and a wheel handle thingy. We then pan down to Gunther wearing a druid outfit giving the thumbs up. Ummm; whatever Gunther. Gunther notices Brianna biking in onto the stage (I guess) and then interrupts her and the druid cloak comes off to reveal.....Mr. Vickie?! Okay that was neat suspense and it makes sense actually since Mr. Vickie is supposed to be Kick's favorite. He wants Brianna to "stand into the light" which is the conveniently placed crimson red X of course. If she sells this; Shayne is off my Christmas card list forever. DAMN YOU GUYS! Oh; and it IS really GUNTHER wearing a goofy Mr. Vickie headpiece as he whistle and twitches his fingers. Kick takes this as the signal and flies down and so Brianna pedals back one step and Kick misses again. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shayne is back onto the Christmas card list.

That allows Kick to bump into the fake wigs on the table, the HAIRSPRAY STATION OF DEATH and Kick rolls like a log and kisses the conveniently placed MIRROR OF VANITY while dressing up like Goldilocks. HAHA! TOTAL MARKUP CITY FOR THAT ONE! The lip stick is on the mirror and Kick bails stage right to vomit off-screen again. Could this be our second thumbs up short in the new Disney? Stay tuned....Kick finally stops vomiting and Mr. Vickie grabs him (while undressing Kick at the same time), blows him off with something I cannot make out due to the slur (this is where Captions DO help) and throws him out of the building and walks back in. Kick rubs the fake eyelashes and lipstick as he sees the conviently placed window about a floor up as we still hear Mr. Vickie talking. Kick climbs up the conveniently placed pipe to the window as we get a sky shot of the stage where Penelope is lip synching Hamlet while riding the unicycle in a circle. Ooooookkkkkkaaaayyyy. It would have been better if she wasn't reading it from the book in her left hand.

Brianna gleefully blows her off for that one as the spotlight is on Penelope as the crowd pops for her much to Brianna disgust. I agree with her; bunch of toothless hicks!  Brianna gets the Gruffi pose and of course Kick steps in and destroys all the hard work Brianna did with the tricycle. What a vainglorious bastard this Kick Buttowski fellow is? Kick gets on the tricycle and talks about unicorns again as Brianna doesn't care about the bike because Penelope is MURDERING her as we see her balancing three plates with her hands and face (!!!) while riding the unicycle. Pfft. Kit could do it with his feet too while riding said unicycle. He does have Louie to help after all.  Kick is SHOCKED and Brianna is APPALLED as the crowd pops again and Penelope walks off stage remembering to blow off Brianna on the way out stage right.

Brianna has had enough and quits! Sadly; it's the contest and not the show in protest as Kick calls her out on that one. Kick goes over and basically asks her about quitting when she stole the bike, disfigured it and did a four minute chase and Brianna admits that she didn't. Kick pushes the TX-5 to her as Brianna has talent and grace which is funny coming from the guy who lacks those and Kick of course reveals the cans of whipping cream. Oh damn; I knew this would get involved somehow in the finish. Brianna gives the EVIL LOOK OF DOOM and has her kazoo set to profits. So we go to the cheap curtain SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM as we go to a sky shot of the stage as Mr. Vickie introduces Brianna T. Buttowski and then Kick steals the microphone and cuts a promo. Whatever Kick as Mr. Vickie is not amused by that at all.

The curtains open to reveal a blue heart ramp and spotlights as we go to the top and see that Kick has teleported up to Brianna on the tricycle not sure about this at all. I don't blame her since it's KICK who is suggesting that she do this stunt. Kick assures her that she's fine as long as she has the IRON GRIP OF DOOM as Brianna puts the kazoo in her mouth and rides down the ramp and does the hyperbole in mid air much to the surprise of the crowd. Brianna puts on the whipped cream jets and then goes into a whirlwind spot throwing glitter everywhere from her hands. Okay; that was really impressive in spite of the obvious logic break. Kick calls it hooking something as Brianna spins around and does a better job than KICK ever did. Why not make HER the main character? It's not like Disney can do a boys show anymore without the parents groups complaining about sexism anyway. Penelope gets creamed of course literally. Kick counts down as the bike spirals onto the stage and Brianna invokes the EJECTION SEAT OF DOOM and bounces up playing the kazoo without her hands and flips and lands on the seat of the bike in a cute pose. The sparkles fall down and Gunther dances in the foreground like an idiot and/or goof depending on your poison. The crowd pops loudest on that one of course and I agree with it all the way.

We go to a shot of the winning trophy as it's at the back of Brianna's tricycle as Brianna bikes while Kick skateboards on the sidewalk. I guess Kick would be in trouble if he did it in the street since Brianna is watching. Brianna thanks Kick for everything and Kick finally shows his generous side by letting her have the tricycle for real. My goodness; Kick sounds likable for more than three minutes, a new record for him. Kick stops as Brianna bikes off stage right as Kick wishes Brianna luck as Brianna takes an off-screen bump into the wall as Kick warns her about it. Thanks for the warning you vainglorious bastard as that is that....Oh wait; we cut to Brad on the couch picking his nose as the announcer proclaiming that picking the nose is a sign of intelligence and Brad pumps his fist again. I smell woo and that is officially that at 10:27. We have our second thumbs up short in this series and Brianna is monster over now. And Kick managed to be likable for three minutes which is better than Johnny Test could ever be. **** (80%).


I'll give them this; Runaway Recital wasn't so bad as a charming train wreck once Kick got the piano out of the house and Gunther did the bumping of 15 guys for otherwise wussy bumps; it still felt off and contrived. Harold was fine and Kick was fine when he was bumping; but not much else. This otherwise felt like a depressing climax with several gaping breaks of logic and the ultra contrived set up with two trucks breaking down in the same street. The whole piano thing with Harold was all right; but the stunt took forever to set up and the payoff was lame and the ending was silly as usual. In other words; par for the course. Oh; and Kick is still unlikable and doesn't look like he will be anytime soon as the church scene proved.

Now I understand why so many fans of this series were blowing off Maxie Zeus's review because this series has gotten into a (messy) groove and Trike X-5 was actually very good. Sure it wasn't without the usual flaws of Kick bumping and doing little else for eight minutes and the logic breaks. However; Shayne took Kick's strength and made him watchable with the chase with Brianna and Brianna is really a good character once she plays with Kick's mind. Plus; she does better stunting than Kick anyway. No Kit Cloudkicker; but nice. I'll give Kick this; the last three minutes at the finish was his finest hour non-bumping wise. Penelope was also good much to my surprise and Mr. Vickie was good too.

I think Disney made a huge mistake by running the pilot shorts instead of running the middle episodes because the early episodes reek of the new Disney crap while this short is closer to what the Gummi Bears were doing at this point. The finish was the right one and the ending was correct in the booking decision; wall crashing off-screen notwithstanding. Only Brad sucked; but he was only around for thirty seconds tops. Overall; this is the second best new Disney short ever and while Kick is still not over; he has progressed in the right direction at least. So I'll be waiting for more Kick Buttowski shorts in the near future as I return to the TaleSpin re-rants with A Baloo Switcheroo this weekend. So....

Thumbs down pointing in the middle for Runaway Recital and thumbs up for Trike X-5 and I'll see you next time.


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