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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
Those Who Camp, Do/Dog Gone Rant
Reviewed: 10/23/2011
Those Who Walk Oskar, Die!
Well; now we can finish Season One of Kick Buttowski in style as there are 12 episodes left. YAY! Oh wait; I mean, D'OH! So our first trip is Kick and Brad going camping and Kick doesn't like the area, and you won't believe why. Our second short is Kick's gravest challenge: Walking Oskar The Dressed Up Dog; or getting grounded for life. Well; let's rant on shall we...?!
Those Who Camp Do is written by Nick Confalone, Derek Dressler, Mark Drop and David Shayne. The storyboard is done by Bob Camp and directed by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. Dog Gone is written by David Shayne. The storyboards are done by Tony Craig and Scott O'Brien. The direction is done by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.
Opening Moment #1: The title card of the day showsa shadow of Kick and Brad at a campfire surrounded by yellow eyes and red blood backgrounds. I think the fire is the most creative thing they have done so far.
Those Who Camp, Do: We begin this one with the camper riding the twisting roads up a mountain. Think Cape Breton National Park and you'll get the picture. We head in the camper as Denise, Harold and Brianna sing and don't sing too badly; although it's nowhere near Binky's level of awesomeness from You Sweat Your Life. Kick is surprisely taking all of this well; while Brad doesn't like this at all. Which is weird considering that in most cartoons; it's usually the main babyface who hates camping. Brad has the headphones on and he proclaims that he'll throw up if they sing that song one more time. Kick has his laptop and he proclaims that tomorrow night is Kick VS. Wild as he pushes a button on the laptop and we see on the screen an explorer dude with the hat with leopard skin trim on it and red hair/mustache yelling about getting out of the house and joining him as he addresses himself as Jack Wilder who is extreme nature guy. Basically another Z-grade extremist I see. Although I am impressed when he rowed his canoe up the waterfall with one left arm. Top that one Billy Stumps!
See; he was born and raised by wolves (Jymn Magon's claim that the pirates were wolves was born from the concept; but the animators drew everyone into different spieces except Don Karnage who was a wolf. Personally; I perfer subversion here) and now he rides wolves shirtless. So we finally arrive at the "campsite" as Harold proclaims that they are at the Wilderness and Kick proclaims that he is going out as a... something because he then realizes that this Wilderness has...cable television? And we discover that it's a trailer park with all city implements and Kick groans. Wow; this is one of those times that I agree with him. I mean; Harold doesn't even want Kick to fail at becoming a man. So we head to a "camping" spot which is at least near the forest (how nice of Harold to at least give Kick a chance to run away eh.) as Harold is doing a BarBeQ. We pan over to Brianna, Denise and Kick with marshmallows on a stick near a campfire that isn't even lit. Which so happens to be controlled by remote control as the flames shoot up. Now that is a campfire BABEE! That's one good thing for the civilized camper. And Kick's stick turns to ashes of course allowing Brianna to laugh at his expense. Kick wants out of this campsite now! See; to him this is not roughing it out, because he wants to be like Jack Wilder. Next week on FOX: When DumbAssery Goes Bad.
So Kick goes over to Harold and cuts a promo about becoming a man; which Harold gleefully ignores because the hotdogs are ready. HEE HEE! Kick wants one night to prove himself as Denise isn't so sure about camping on a camping trip. I can hear it now: Wrestling on a wrestling show? No way. I just hear it now from WWE Lawyers. Harold does sort of agree with this and resonate his past a bit which Brad blows off because he was afraid of the dinosaurs. Memo to Brad: Harold is too young to be using that joke. At least Brad is coming off as a jerk who hates camping; which is fine since it gets his heat back somewhat. Denise ponders it over as she see the HUNDRED EYES OF DOOM from the darkness; and decides to let him go. And then he gets a backpack carried with lots of stuff Kick doesn't need nor want before Kick slumps away with the backpack being bigger than his body. So we head in the forest AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Kick walks and then throws the backpack away (good!) which of course causes a cat to scream again. In a freakin forest?! Kick doesn't need it because he's going to transform into the SPORTSMAN OF MAN~! Once the trademark of Drake Mallard; lost due to extreme full of himself comments and bad relations with Gosalyn Mallard in Bearskin Thug. He does get the dental floss back and gets the educational line of the episode before stuffing it in his suit. Sure it is; because it's expensive too.
So we move on and pan down to Kick making a campfire already and feeling the warmness of it. Kick then hears the wind and it sounds very familiar; it sounds like the WINDBAG OF JERKINESS is around. Hint: It hisses the word Dillweed. Kick demands that it fight like a man as Kick does the worst kung-fu moves this side of Darkwing Duck. And gets hit on the head with an acorn and no surprise it's Mr. "jerk" himself, Brad Buttowski. Scare quotes intentional. Kick demands he return to the RV before he embrasses himself; but Brad points out that Kick only went about 50 feet away from the camper as Harold and Denise wave back. HA! Kick is an idiot; what a shock? Kick is not amused as all as Brad steals the backpack proclaiming that he's here to keep an eye out on him and make him miserable as he takes out the Mr. Nutty bar which so happens to get a jackhammered background when we see it. Wow; the real products that violated current FCC rules are much more subtle than the ones that are fake in this show. Kick warns him not to open it because animals can smell them a mile away and Brad opens it and mocks a squirrel who has leaped on a backpack as Kick walks away stage right. Brad mocks Kick some more calling him a dillweed as the squirrel gets the LEGAL HAND OF BEAR and gets murdered off-screen before appearing with it's mouth out so wide right in front of Brad.
Brad gets the SPIT YELL OF DEATH (last seen on Gosalyn in Apes of Wrath) as Brad sells; but Kick no sells because he's the SPORTSMAN OF MAN, complete with twigs and leaves. Kick calls the bear out as he grabs a vine (I think). Now here's an obvious question: We saw Denise and Harold in the same scene; so how did they miss the bear? You cannot spell Denise without D-E-N-S-E. So Kick has a vine whip as the Pokemon Company lawyers are on speed dial and we get the blood shot staredown of doom; which BS&P steps in and recolors the blood shot into non-red colors. I thought the Mighty Maids were limited to Adult Swim? Brad is so scared that he is holding his manhood while his knees knock and we get the weirdest fart ever. Made even more grosser by the fact that the shot is a closeup. Kind of makes the whole "looking up a girl's skirt" look less perverted nowadays? Or not. The bear smells it and then he runs like a scalded bear stage right. Sadly; the vine has gained about 20 feet since we last saw it and it's clearly around Brad's ankles so we all know what the next sequence of events is. And damn it to hell if I'm not right. Kick likes this......
...and we scene change to Denise and Harold...in bed. Denise wakes up...in bed. She is shocked...in bed. Harold is reading...in bed. Denise and Harold wish they could have brains...in bed. POW! OUCH! Ummm.. Denise wonders if she gave Kick dental floss...in bed. Harold tells her not to worry because Brad is brave...in bed. So we return as Brad screams like mad and really you cannot blame him since he seems to be noosed in several shots. So the bear surfing is on BABEE! Wow; they really DO like stomping on Kit Cloudkicker's corpse don't they? Still better than when Huey Duck does it since Kick isn't as big of a sexist as Huey is. So the bear stops at the cliff and both kids get flung over the cliff and into the deeper wilderness which in real life would have them killed or seriously injured. Unless you are in Grundo; then you just get knocked out and recover within 24 hours. They bounce into the river as Kick hangs onto a rock and Brad cannot because he's a city wimp. At least it's apporos with him; unlike with Donald Duck in Ducks By Nature. Kick actually ponders life without Brad and we get no dream sequence surprisely before Kick decides that a kid can dream and rips off some bark into a surfboard and goes after a screaming Brad. So we dog paddle....
...and we have a waterfall because no camping trip episode can be complete without one. Brad goes over the waterfall; but Kick holds onto a rock at the top of the waterfall grabbing Brad's underpants and pants in that order. So we scene change as Kick drags Brad out of the water and the logic break here is that he's now carrying him by the back of his shirt while Brad appears to be dead (tongue hanging out). Kick drops on his face just as Brad wakes up and blows off the dillweed. Kick looks at the wilderness and likes it as he walks on the rocks of the water as Brad wants to go back. Kick no sells because he's officially the...you guessed it. Brad states that he's going the other way; but the EYES OF DEATH stare him back. Yeah; let's just kill the little heat Brad has left why don't we? So Brad is forced to follow Kick as we scene change to Kick howling at the moon. Brad asks if it's really needed and the answer is yes Brad. Because he is the vainglorious bastard see. Kick claims that it's the call of the wild and Brad doesn't understand because he's more concerned with climbing over the abyss which we zoom out. Kick tells him to leave it him as he breaks a rock and slides down like a snowboard down the cliff and flies over the gorge (much to the panic of Brad) and lands on top of the tree. And the tree springs back slowly allowing Kick to tell Brad to grab onto him and Brad sells when Kick goes to the other side and then we spring back. Ho hum.
So we slide down the tree as Brad is selling injuries and bumping on every branch on the tree like mad. The last bump he does is land right on his face. Drake Mallard is such a wuss; he only lands on his chin in these situations. Kick wants some grub as he walks away and Brad gets a pine cone bumps on the head which he oversells. Do you get the feeling that Kick is trying to torture Brad in some sublimial fashion?! And we get the pinecone tomb of doom on Brad as the squirrel has a laugh at his expense on the stump and then it bails as Brad jumps onto the rock wanting some stew with squirrel. The squirrel climbs on Brad's head and then bails as Brad beats himself. Oh swell; this is like Just a Tad Smarter; only without the grace of ultra-cool sidekick Toadie to save it from being a DUD. Brad hears some rumbling and out of the bushes comes Kick riding a moose. Ooookkkkkaaayyyy. Brad screams badly as Kick lures him into the rope loop trap and he has got a moose catfish style. Brad stammers about eating a moose; but Kick grabs the berries from it's mouth because he stole them. EWWWW! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!
So we scene change as Brad and Kick get off the moose and Brad blows off Kick for wanting to camp out just to mimic a Z-Grade television show for no reason whatsoever other than to torment him from sleeping in a nice bed. So Kick bites vine as we see that he has built a shelter in 15 seconds or so complete with campfire. Brad blows it off; but cannot come up with a metaphor that sounds lame enough to use. You know Brad has zero heat left when he cannot come up with something that rhymes with Dillweed. Kick doesn't care because he's taming the wilderness as he produces a log with termites and Brad looks like he's ready to throw up. Brad blows him off and walks away. He sits down in the open space and we get a slow and painful look of Brad slurping termites from a log. And then it rains; despite not seeing a single cloud in the sky to build up the suspense. Idiots! We get a thunderclap as Kick offers to share the shelter with him; but Brad no sells and puffs up a rock for a pillow acting quite dellusional.
Kick gets on his case because he cannot afford to carry him back to the RV; but Brad no sells and acts crazy as hell. And he uses the POISON IVY BLANKET OF DOOM to cover him. Oh come on guys! I am not fooled and neither is Kick. I called that one sixty seconds before it happened I should note as Brad get the peach inch skin of death on his face and catches himself and we get the bad off-screen..ummm..scream. So we head to morning as Kick opens the door from his shelter and apparently Brad is inside the shelter now asleep as Kick enjoys the morning sun. And then we clearly see the leaves in the foreground because they are part of Kick stripping naked and taking a shower with the rain drops on the leaves. I don't get why they need two leaves since Kick does not have nipples to cover. Well; it's nice to know that BS&P still allows him to be naked this late in the season. Brad wakes up and wonders how he got in there as Kick explains while acting like a frog eating flies while sitting on a log. Kick is now the SPORTSFROG OF FROG~! Kick walks away proclaiming that he has conquered nature and it's time to go home. Brad is in the fetal position shaking like a leaf because apparently he has now touched poison oak as well. Whatever Brad; you officially suck as a heel.
So we walk around the wilderness as Brad sulks in pain while Kick proclaims that all they have to do is live through the walk and of course we magically teleport to Kick and Brad dropping into the world's weirdiest looking quicksand mud lake. We are still doing this stupid spot? It was lame in 1987 and it's even worse now! Brad does the worst thing possible which is trying to swim out while Kick does absolutely nothing. At least Kick is calm and therefore smart. Funny how Kick blows him off for making it worse and yet Brad sinks at the same level as Kick still. Brad then apologizes for screwing up this whole thing. Really Brad?! That's uber lame since Kick didn't screw up once until this moment and he was dumb enough to step in the stuff in the first place. He apologizes for calling him Dillweed and claims that he doesn't know what it is and Kick calls it a herb. He should know; he fell into it in Not Without My Cereal. So we do the pathos stupidity for a bit as we get a closeup of Brad's mouth with a termite stuck in his teeth. EWWWWW! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! And then we sinks below the surface and both brothers are dead. Riiiiiggggghhhttttt Mr. Weagle, if only that were true. And so Kick's fist rises up from the dead and he has the box of extra strength dental floss. Damn; I knew that would play into the finish somehow as we shoot like Spiderman and climb out of the quicksand by Spiderman onto the tree branch as Kick does his up yours pose complete with jackhammered explosion background. Okay by me.
We get more shooting and swinging as Kick swings away stage left and return to the RV site as Harold is packing up and Denise is worried as usual. She opens the bushes and notices that they are gone and knew she should have given them the towelettes. And they must check out soon as Kick arrives and Denise calls him a baby. Kick blows it off nicely and is a MAN as Denise and Kick embrace. See; there is a good finish as Brad comes in as he's still selling like a mofo. Denise completely ignores him and tells them to stay 30 feet away this time as she walks out. So we head on the road with the RV to the back as Brad basically tells Kick that he lied and he's still a dillweed and he gets punched off-screen (BS&P RULEZ~!) as the RV returns to town to end the episode at 10:20 approx. Not as good as Bearskin Thug; but as a camping trip; it was decent enough. Then again; Ducks By Nature is the worst because the writers didn't know what they were doing when they wrote it. Call it *** (60%).
Opening Moment #2: The title card is a Gedo-style yellow background with a KB scene changer doggie tag. Oh; that is so cute...NOT!!
Dog Gone: We begin this one near the house of Mrs. Chickerelli and then inside the house as Kick blows off Denise while Oskar the Dressed Up Dog (Jay Leno: YOUR DOG IS NOT GOING TO WEAR THAT!) bites at Kick's face. Dammit BS&P; let Oskar bite Kick's face for once. Denise and Chickerelli are wearing matching pink/white tight gym outfits as Denise explains that Kick only has to watch Oskar for a few hours because they are playing shuffleboard to win. Kick is getting slobbered despite being only about two feet away from Oskar as Kick asks about Mr. Vickel (Huh? I thought it was Mr. Vickie) and Denise claims that he's getting his chest hairs dyed as we get a scene showing Mr. Vickie shirtless in a salon below the hairdryer admiring his chest hair. We return to Kick asking about Brad and Denise claims that he's studying which involves Brad piging out on the coach watching television as per Trike X-5. And we blech as Kick asks about Kendell and she is having a birthday party; which only Kendell appears in as he blows out the candles on the birthday cake. So Kick nearly gets bitten again and doesn't like this as a good idea. Denise calls that nonsense (YAY!) and she'll be back at 7:30 pm as she leaves.
So now that Denise is gone; Mrs. Chickerelli gets on Kick's case because it only happened due to Denise while Kick dodges Oskar some more as Oskar now wants Kick's ass. Miss Chicarelli hands him a blue notebook which so happens to be a user's manual for Oskar Chicarelli. I know I spell the last name differently from canon; but it's easier to spell and the pronouncation is closer. Plus; I hate Kick Buttowski and like to mock his show. So there you go. Chicarelli basically tells him to do everything the manual sezs and if anything happens to him; she'll make sure Denise grounds him for life. Riiiiiggggghhhtttt Miss Chicarelli; like you tried to do in Tattler's Tale and failed badly because Denise is a freaking dense idiot. Your jackhammered background explosion isn't going to make it come true either; so quit showing off and let Kick screw himself. Kick doesn't respond to threats; Chicarelli calls it a fact as Oskar slobbers all over her face and Chicarelli treats it as a kiss. Good grief lady; you need serious medical attention. Not because you hate Kick; but because you don't know the difference between a kiss and a lick. And then we kiss on the lips. Yeap; she needs serious help. Kick turns his helmet as Chicarelli jackhammers Fairly Oddparents style the grounded for life stuff complete with blood splatter. Seriously! Like we are supposed to buy that it's red paint. And the HAG FROM HELL finally slams the door and Kick looks around and Oskar finally bites him on the ass. HAHA! Kick cuts his biscuits promo of course.
So we scene change as Gunther has joined us because apparently; we cannot go through a full 22 minutes without him. Gunther came because apparently the pet name for Chickerelli is Miss Snitch as he eats wax plastic fruit from the FAKE FRUIT BOWL OF DEATH. Kick gets pelted with wax and then we get ass bite #2 from Oskar. HEE HEE! I could watch him do that to Kick all day; even in reruns. Kick lays down the law because they don't like each other and they will either do it the easy way; or the Kick Buttowski hard way. Oskar lets go of the ass because we all know that the hard wayh involves some stunt and even Oskar has some sense that this is not a good idea....Oh wait; ass bite #3 ensues. HAHA! Kick decides that it's time to do it the hard way as we get a closeup shot of the manual and there are backup singers singing the instructions on Chapter One – Feeding Oskar (which shows a platter with a dome which opens to reveal a heart. We head into the kitchen as it is a mess of meat grinding, pots, pans, dog food and we get ass bite #4 barely two minutes in. HAHA! Kick struggles wanting Oskar to eat as Gunther comes in and has an idea. He takes a spoon and scoops dogfood from the bowl and taunts Oskar with it like a baby and tries to eat it; but Kick blows him off and Gunther apologizes. After all the "offensive" material on this show; we are expected to believe that BS&P found Gunther eating dog food offensive. Riiiigggghhhhhtttt.
So we go to Chapter #2: Bathing Oskar complete with bathtub and shower pole. And yes; we sing that chapter too. Oh well; it's still better than the usual Fairly Oddparents jackhammering. This falls under the Art Kelly "Sexy Pee" clause from Video On Trial. And naturally; Oskar hates water and does the rack spot on the bathtub while Kick tries to push him into the bathtub. Gunther is in the tub enjoying the bath salts (so he sezs) and is clearly naked and he farts bubbles in the bathtubs. And shakes his hips. Whatever Gunther. So we go to Chapter #3: Walking Oskar complete with dog paw prints. And yes; you guessed it. So we see Kick walking Oskar out of the door; or so we think. I betcha we get ass bite #5 right about...wait for it..let Kick talk and hang himself with the dog collar in a symbolic fashion....Even better; Kick steps in Oskar's dog s***. HAHA! Kick blows off the "bad" dog. Yeah; Oskar is SO "BAD". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So Oskar wags it's tail and Kick and Oskar have a push off on the sidewalk while Gunther reads the manual. See; Oskar like a mellow stroll which I'm sure Kick has no idea what that is. Then again; he doesn't know the meaning of most words anyway. Kick thinks Oskar doesn't want a stroll; but a run and Oskar agrees with him. Gunther claims Chickerelli wants him to mellow stroll; but Kick claims that they have one thing in common as they don't do mellow. Whatever Kick.
So we run as Kick and Gunther fly in mid air screaming on the sidewalk all over town. Kick is on the skateboard as Gunther thought it liked mellow as Kick calls Chickerelli Miss Snitch someone who wouldn't let him off the gas. Geez; I wonder why Kick. And we ride over the roof of the Battlesnax for fun to pay off Snowpocalypse I guess. Then it's into the skateboard park as Gunther takes a sick bump off of the "You Must Be This Tall" sign and does flips into the air (Kit: And people accuse ME of being a showoff?!) and where he lands do we really care? Gunther uses the sign to skateboard on the ramp; and then slides down the ramp on his face. Whatever Gunther. I guess Gunther is out of commission for the rest of the episode as we get more racing the ramps and halfpipes with Oskar and Kick. And a lot of slow motion spots and flash camera spots involving Kick doing tricks with Oskar. Oskar seems to be enjoying himself which is probably why Chickerelli wrote the book as Gunther somehow teleports upright and throws a frisbee. Which they both catch with their teeth in slow motion in mid-air. Okay; I will admit that this is pretty cool.
And we fall down and before we see them break their necks; we scene change to a grassy meadow as Kick and Gunther are sitting down enjoying themselves in the sun with Oskar who looks mighty tame. Gunther is impressed at Oskar smiling at Kick as Kick proclaims that this is because he loosen the leash a little. Having too many restrictions keeps a dog down and he ponders over someone else. So we have a flashback of Harold forcing Kick to eat his broccoli on the plate by trying to shove Kick's head into it. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?! Does that make any sense? If it was Brad pushing him into Dillweed; this would have been hilarious. This makes no sense. I can imagine DENISE doing it and even BRIANNA besides Brad; but Harold? You got to be ribbing me guys. Sure; maybe he would force him to play the piano; but that isn't the same thing guys!! Besides pianos do rule and broccoli plain sucks without James Barber's miracle of cooking loosey-goosey. And he does again trying to get him in the tub as we get our third naked body of the short and a glorified ass shot. When Fanboy & Chum Chum's techno music dueling shower scene in Pick A Nose was classy; you have a problem...and we have Kick on a dirty bicycle causing mud stains on the floor as Harold blows him off. Okay; that last one makes sense at least.
We return to reality (no, not really) as Kick and Oskar are now a special breed. Yeah; you are both unlikable. Which makes no sense since Oskar is funnier than you when he is unlikable. Oskar scratches his dress as Gunther takes it as having fleas. Umm; no Gunther. Kick claims that he wants to be free. Ummm; no Kick, it's because he is dressed up and Jay Leno was right all along. Gunther pleads for him not to do it because Oskar will run away and Kick is grounded for life. Will you shut the hell up Gunther?! This is PERFECT for me because then I'll never have to deal with Mr. Vainglorious Bastard ever again. Kick claims that Oskar won't and I give that about five seconds give or take one that Oskar will bolt and screw Kick. So Kick unhooks the leash and he does it in 0.9 seconds; a new record. Damn; I am so good. I heart Oskar the Dressed Up Dog. Kick is shocked, SHOCKED I say. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are. Gunther claims that we have a problem. NO?! REALLY?! Kick is in denial mode claiming that he'll be back as Gunther tries to say otherwise which leads to the old "say nothing and see if the kids laugh at it" spot. Eye wink sound effect + bird chripping sound effects leads to Kick getting his skateboard and following Oskar.
Scene changer leads to Gunther and Kick on the skateboard in the FPS skateboard shot as Gunther jackhammers the point home again as Kick wants him to be lookout. Gunther then invokes the POINTY FINGER OF DEATH (You can put an eye out with that thing Gunther Magnumson) as we see a rose bush with roses clawed out as Kick stops and deduces that it was Oskar destroying Mr. Vickie's rose bushes. Kick claims that they are two of a kind as we anime cut to a postman rocking himself senseless and looking terrified as the mailbox pole is damaged indicating that Oskar terrorized the postman. Geez; what a shock that is? And then we see denizens running away from something on the next pan shot which ends with a poster of jeans that has a hole through them. Like I'm buying Oskar did that. That looks like Kick Buttowski judging by the size of said hole. I see the denizens are smart enough not to attack Kick this time around. So Kick and Gunther ride the skateboard as Oskar is running in the streets. Gunther pleads for Kick to let Oskar run home; but Kick claims that this is his responsability and I laugh out loud since it's coming from Kick's own mouth. So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE DRESSED UP DOG EDITION to waste some time as the pan shots cannot even keep up. Denizens are forced to bail as we ride over the roofs of cars and truck as we open the gates to hell. Okay; just a steel mesh fence into the construction of a new high rise because it's not a dog chase scene without that. Oskar goes up, Kick goes under and Gunther takes a MAN-SIZED bump off the metal rod with his face of course.
So Oskar climbs onto the metal rod and it goes up the building as Kick takes the contruction elevator up. I'm betting another "do nothing and see if the kids laugh at it spot" commencing here. And thankfully it doesn't happen as we chase on the skeleton high chase with Kick and Oskar. We jump into the conviently placed metal pipe and we go back down and pop out as Oskar jumps into the conviently placed junkyard and here comes Gunther with orange helmet on and he gets spun and MURDERED by Kick and Oskar like a revolving door. Kick grabs Gunther and the chase must continue back on the streets of Mellowbrook as Oskar does a 90 degree turn left and Kick turns over into a dark alleyway (WHAT?!) and we hear the honk of a car with lights and we bail as we see that a Gedo yellow truck rides by and it's a dog pound truck as we see Oskar inside the back of the truck at the red light. UH OH! The truck speeds away as Oskar pants and then instantly turns sad while the truck drives away. Kick and Gunther just look at each other...
..and we head to the Mellowbrook Dog Pound BEFORE HAPPY HOUR (sunset) as it looks like a maximum security prison. Oh goody; we just have to hyperbole just to make the prison break scene more believable. Gunther and Kick are at the front of the gate as Gunther drops some booking names for prison before Kick finally tells him to shut up in roundabout terms. Gunther asks if he is going to get Oskar out and Kick no sells because it's paperwork and red tape. Oh come on Kick; you know why. It's because that would expose that you mishandled Oskar ON THE RECORD for Chickerelli to see. Kick proclaims that he is going in and Gunther blows it off as too dangerous. Not as dangerous as being grounded for life eh Gunther?! Kick blows him off because he has no choice; so Gunther turns his back and pulls up his shirt to reveal a prison floorplan enprinted on his back. Wait; why?! Even Kick wants to know and Gunther is not telling..although after Tattler's Tale; I think I have a good theory on this. Kick looks at the floor plan as Kick claims that the grate roof is in between the shoulder blades even though Kick rubs the back with the finger and it's clearly NO WHERE near the shoulder blades. Bad form there guys, but that's par for the course. Gunther thinks this is a bad idea because Oskar is EVIL~! Kick blows it off because he saw Oskar's soul and they are brothers from different mothers as Gunther sheds a tear proclaiming that he's right. So Kick is now a god?! I guess stomping on the corpse wasn't enough; he had to pee on Kit's soul too. "SEXY PEE, UHUH!"
So Gunther tells him to go get him with the pointy finger. So Gunther wants Kick to kill Oskar? I don't know; I'm not BS&P as we get the spotlights and Kick jumps over the fence with a skateboard in silouette doing the spinning skateboard trick. Because just breaking Oskar isn't enough; you have to be vainglorious while doing it. This IS Kick Buttowski after all. We ride on the rocks then skateboard down to avoid the spotlight down the hill to fetch a pail of dumbass nuts. Shadow Guard gets confused as Kick is over the fence again and dodges flashlights like a video game. And of course Gunther shines a flashlight on Kick outside in front of the gate. HAHA! Kick blows him off and Gunther shrugs. Yeah; you were trying to help, sure Gunther. So Kick continues on without ANYONE noticing the obvious gaffe and we skateboard into the vent and we head to the fan and then we probably get one of the best moments in history as Kick manages to go through the fan without getting shredded to bloody bits. Wow; just wow. Kick Buttowski is truly a god that just begging to get it's ass kicked. So we skateboard on (did I mention that the spot was done all in slow motion?) faster and faster as we return to a shot of Gunther's back with the map as Kick rides a red line on the map. Vandalism on a child's back is EXTREME~! Kick jumps over the vent losing his skateboard and slides down through the ceiling grate into the actual dog pound holding cells and somehow the skateboard magically returns on his feet. Oy vey Kick.
So we get the FPS shot and he puts his back against the holding cell as a guard walks at the intersection not suspecting a thing. Damn these blind and deaf security guards! I betcha we find out that this is Oskar's holding cell and ass bite #6 ensues. Wait for it....security guard looks around and has been bitten recently by Oskar judging by the underwear showing (all white believe it or not) as Kick twinkletoes the fine art of not being seen (I smell Fred Flinstone lawsuit coming; even if there's nothing Hanna Barbara can do about it) and finds the cell holding Oskar as Oskar turns around and seems happier now that Kick is here. Damn; I wanted a good ass bite too. Kick tries to pull the cell door open; forgetting that the cell is padlocked clear in sight. Kick finally notices it and does his biscuits promo as we get fury explosion jackhammer background as Kick rips at the mesh of the cell. I'm guessing Kick doesn't know what padlocked means either. Oskar walks away and sulks as Kick taunts him because he wants help and wants the big bad Oskar who always bites his Buttowski. Let me get this straight: Butt is banned; but Buttowski is totally okay to say on Disney? Whatever BS&P.
Kick gets inspired and turns around and shakes his ass and taunts Oskar as Oskar pants and gets charmed and giddy all at once. That leads to ass bite #6 on-screen and Kick calls it well played. HAHA! I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! SMRT! I mean SMART! So Kick wants to get him home as we cut to Kick jumping over the security guard in the shadows (fire him NOW!) as they reverse the footage and Kick goes over the gate easily dodging the spotlights. Whatever. Gunther is pleased as Kick broke him out of the slammer and drops more prison booking names before Kick tells him to...you guessed it. Kick wants to bring Oskar home and Oskar runs away stage right. Ah biscuits indeed. Gunther and Kick chase as we head to Miss Chickerelli's house AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark). So it's 7:30 pm in the middle of summer and it's dark? Riiigggghhhhtttt guys! I live in Porters Lake which is more northern that Mellowbrook and 7:30 pm in the middle of summer and the sun has barely started to set in Porters Lake. The car reaches the parking lot and we see Miss Chickerelli open the door and there is no one there as Chickerelli takes it as Kick has officially screwed up. Denise enters as she tries to rationalize this and here comes Kick and Gunther panting as Kick shows her the dog leash which is empty. That's right folks; we are going for the "Oskar shows up out of nowhere finish and makes Chickerelli look bad" finish and of course Oskar appears in Kick's lap as I predicted. Well; it could have been worse, since Kick didn't confess to screwing up.
So Kick thanks Oskar who seems to have grown a red bow on his neck since last time and Oskar runs off his hands. And it teleports somehow into Chickerelli's lap as Chickerelli asks what Kick was trying to tell him and Kick claims that they have an understanding of each other...and we get ass bite #7. HAHA! IN YOUR FACE YOU LYING VAINGLORIOUS BASTARD! Kick cuts his biscuits promo and that is that at 10:14 approx. Not bad as Oskar was game to make Kick his bitch. Although the logic was wonky in places. So we get the last shot of Mellowbrook Dog Pound Prison and some recycled shots as Gunther is stuck in the fan and somehow isn't cut to pieces. That just kills the coolness of that spot right there. Thank you Gunther for breaking logic and reason. Call this *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Ah; this is much better now since we are in the middle of the seasons and the writers have indeed wised up so to speak. Those Who Camp, Do was well done (to my surprise) with no cluster mucks whatsoever and some funny moments from Brad despite completely killing his heat as a heel. Kick Buttowski actually sounded less of a vainglorious bastard and was more likable this time around and some of the stuff he did was pretty cool. Kick as a sportsman is actually more plausible than Drake Mallard. Still; some logic breaks and some silliness dragged this episode down; but it's still a lot better than Ducks By Nature; so you can watch this and not feel ashamed of it. It's nothing special true; but it doesn't suck either.
Dog Gone was shaping up to be a bad idea; but Oskar was game to make Kick look stupid at every turn. Although the bonding between Kick and Oskar was interesting; the character development was pissed away when Oskar returned to being an ass biter. The prison break scene was stupid though as it made Kick look invincible for the most part; but the finish worked well despite Gunther's logic breaking at the end which made the one cool spot in the prison break look pointless. And Oskar is a riot when he's making Kick's life a living hell anyway so I enjoyed it more than Kick dominating Oskar. So we got two middling shorts that worked out for me. Now for the next set of shorts; I'm going to skip the four episodes left in the middle and do the final two episodes left in season one to do: Morning Rush and A Fistful Of Ice Cream. So.....
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you next time.