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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

For The Love of Gunther/Father From The Truth Rant

Reviewed: 08/17/2010

For The Love Of God; We Actually Have A Live One Here!

Welcome back to the Sadism Jungle as I resume ranting on that vainglorious bastard known as Kick Buttowski; The Suburban Daredevil as more shorts have been made available on Youtube. YAY! Oh wait; I mean, D'OH! By the way; Kick actually got nominated for a Primetime Emmy recently for Outstanding Short-Format Animation Program. More to the point: Racing the School Bus. Luckly for me; I stopped caring about the award because TaleSpin was nominated for a number of awards and none of that stopped the show from getting canceled. So now we resume with the next two shorts as Jackie The Stalker Wackerman returns to ironically enough; seduce Gunther. I'm loving this short already and it hasn't even started yet. Sadly; the second one goes downhill as Kick now must make his father look good because apparently; his father is not a daredevil. Geez; I wonder why? So let's rant on shall we....?

For The Love of Gunther written by Derek Dressler and Carl Faruolo. The direction was done by Chris Savino. Derek has only written one episode which is a video called Dirty Dishes. Ummm; yeah. He also worked on DVD's for Shout Factory and supervised music for Klepto and gave thanks to Sex Ed. The scariest thing about that is that this is how Jymn Magon started his career and we know what happened from there. Father From The Truth is done by Nick Confalone with storyboards and writting by Mike Kunkel. The direction is done by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.

Opening Moment #1: The title card background is black with Gunther in blood red shadow and red hearts abound. One of them just above Gunther's head is white with red blood splitting it into the middle. Okay; that is just creepy for some odd reason.

For The Love of Gunther: We begin this one with a far shot in the suburban streets of Mellowbrook Lane (I think) and then zoom out to see a wooden ramp. If you cannot guess what happens next; then you should not read this rant. Even reading this show can be toxic to your health if not handled with the proper mockery and condemnation that it deserves. We get three more jump cuts of the ramp as we see a white with red trim plane cart with Kick (helmet on of course) sitting in it. So Kick races down the ramp; jumps into the air; goes through a window (which of course was the bathroom window) and out the other window on the other side with Mr. Vickie who seems to be choking and panicking. How can Mr. Vickie LIKE Kick in spite of all of this bullcrap that he pulls? If that happened to me; you would need the police and the air force to pull me away from kicking Kick's bloody teeth in. It goes off the real wooden ramp, does some flips as Vickie freefalls off-screen to his Kenny-equse death (South Park reference natch) and then jump cut teleport to a sky shot as the cart lands in the padded inflatable white jungle gym with a squeak sound. Now that would be bad in itself; but it gets even WORSE as we zoom out and see that the real Kick is sitting on the fence with Gunther drinking a Sluppee I do believe. That's right; Kick uses stunt dummies for his stunts. Kit Cloudkicker turns another full cycle in his grave.

So Gunther talks about the test run; but the thing explodes and somehow does another three flips just to break all logic and reason and land in a trash heap in the street as the parachute comes out and the helmet bounces onto the street. This only makes Kick into a bigger wimp than he already is. And shouldn't someone see if Mr. Vickie is still alive or something? Gunther proclaims that Kick is lucky that it was a test run. Anyone who thinks that Jimmy the Korean Rocket Maker in Monster A-Go-Go was insane; watch this show and Jimmy seems normal. And then Gunther ribs Kick and we discover that it's a WATERMELON KICK~! We walked right into that one didn't we Kit?! Gunther does his usual Z-Grade panicking (what a shock?); but we cut to the helmet as Kick grabs it (check the yellow glove arm) and then he rises from the carnage with the double devil pose just to annoy me. So it's merely bad compared to really terrible beyond belief. That's actually an improvement for the vainglorious bastard. Then we cut to a door of the house and it opens to reveal: Whackie Jackie The Stalker Wackerman. Oh goody! If she goes insane for the rest of the short; this will be the best Kick Buttowski short EVERAH~! Please don't disappoint me Jackie. That's all I ask. Jackie runs in and starts taking pictures of Kick with her black digital camera while Kick ignores her and dusts himself off. She takes about 20 pictures while doing these awesome positions that would put Spongebob Squarepants Bubble blowing spot to shame. She even notices that Kick has a road burn tear on his arm that makes the 2008 version seem lame. Scary part is that I BELIEVE her!

Kick takes the pictures with that "up yours" look as Jackie's mother (same as Jackie only with a purple green splat dress on) as she opens the window and reveal her pie. It's a lamoberry pie according to her. I know she's a stalker and all; but LAMO-berry pie?! Jackie loves it as Gunther drops his slurpee and has a brain freeze just by staring at her. At least that is what logic would tell me. I mean; the writers have already completely forgotten what Gunther did in Obsession For Kick and I'm expected to buy that Gunther has the hots for Jackie The Stalker?! Jackie's mother reveals that her Viking of The Month helmet has arrived. Oh that is not contrived in the very least; no siree. We cut back to Gunther drooling somewhat on the fence so much as the wooden board flips (I betcha his ass controlled it too) and he ends up on the grass drooling. We cut back to Jackie as she polished her clogs too just to jackhammer the obvious home and thus Gunther's mind is blown. This would have make more sense is Gunther's mind was blown BEFORE this all happened. Then the erasing of mind from Obsession For Kick would have made total sense. Gunther is still drooling in case you care as Jackie is even showing concern for Gunther's well being at this point. Kick of course gleefully ignores it putting his gloves on still in his "up yours" pose.

That leads to the DREAM OF DEATH as Jackie looks like the classiest Valkyrie Viking I have ever seen as she yodels and completely outclasses everyone in this entire series. The Mighty B wishes she had awesomeness like Jackie Wackerman. Again; why isn't Jackie the MAIN character of this series (other than the BOYS! BOYS! BOYS! demographic nonsense I keep hearing from the defective market managers)?! She even gets to handle a real sword (sadly; she keeps her lack of complete foresight by holding the lamoberry pie as a shield) and we return to reality (no, not really) as there are hearts in Gunther's eyes. Oh boy. That leads to another dream sequence as we are on a hill with Gunther and Jackie in marriage clothes holding hands and watching a bunch of dolphins jumping and splashing on the close zoom in shot. Did the writers FINALLY realize how to make an effective start to a short without jackhammering the message home? Probably not. At least this one is the most tolerable I have seem thus far. We return to reality (no, not really) as Gunther's real heart wants to escape his chest and all the madness of this series in general. Damn; and Gunther is so much more effective when he is not talking nor resorting to body fuild jokes nor jackhammering border auras around him. Gunther drools some more and falls onto his fat belly like a steaming pile of goo. HAHA!

We then cut back to Jackie doing some more picture taking of Kick just to continue bringing the crazy. Kick explains to Jackie that he is going to descend down the Widowmaker's Peak which Jackie completes acting all insane to boot. It's of course named after the wife who murdered her husbands with a frying pan; or bread-maker. Kick even notices the insanity at last as Jackie claims that Kick read his diary (well; he did break and enter into YOUR house in Obsession For Kick; so yeah) because she wants to marry Kick if he can conquer the peak so to speak. Gunther is trying to get her attention but no dice once again as usual. Jackie even one up's me on the Widowmaker bit and then makes roadkill out of Gunther as she dances on his fatass with Watermelon Kick. HAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm..... Shouldn't someone be checking on Mr. Vickie? I'm not expecting Jackie to do it of course; but Kick could makes himself, I don't know...useful! Just to show that he has more workrate than his stunt dummy? Jackie dances away as Kick is creeped out. HAHA! Gunther raises his head from the pool of drool so to speak.

So we head to the Battlesnax for the first time for rant purposes. It's basically a triangle house with a large ax in the front. We zoom in and cut to the dining room as Gunther is basically drunk and drooling while Kick asks him if he's in another universe. Short answer: Yes Kick; the same universe you are currently in. We zoom into Gunther's big blue eyes as even the flies cannot dent his Jackie Armor of Protection. HAHA! Gunther finally snaps out of it (BOO! HISS!) as he apologizes to Kick because Gunther is in LOVE~! That's actually better than him doing fart jokes; so why not even if it makes no sense? Kick doesn't buy it until Gunther's lips turn girly and Kick finally gets it. Kick grabs the soda container and asks who is Gunther is LOVE with. Or kissy-kissy with as Kick tries to emote; but fails badly. Gunther is blushing as he tries to state the obvious; but someone knocks on the windows and it's Whackie Jackie to the rescue! She's in love with Kick of course as she fogs up the window and does a heart. So Gunther lowers his class back down to normal by doing the control the mirror spot with his mouth shaped into a heart as he goes insane on Jackie! Oy vey guys! And Jackie is gone stage right (YAY!) as Gunther sits back down and admits that Jackie doesn't want him. Kick agrees with him as Gunther's face is in bad sick girl love mode as Kick decides to help Gunther get his dream girl. Kick asks who she is (as if Gunther's mouth heart window control spot didn't exist in his mind.) and Gunther explains that it was the girl standing out the window and Kick realizes that it's Whackie Jackie. Funny how Kick remembers Obsession For Kick; but Gunther, the one who was warning Kick about Whackie Jackie has it erased from his mind. That is just peachy folks.

Kick explains that Jackie is Whacky of course. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Kick? Gunther claims that Kick doesn't love her. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Forgot Obsession For Kick much there Gunther? Gunther has a plan to seduce Jackie so that Jackie is out of Kick's hair and into his. Okay; I am calling the finish now: Gunther is forced to do the stunt in Kick's place when Gunther succeeds in getting Jackie. Gunther even questions Kick having hair. I didn't know Kick had cancer treatments? That just adds creditability to my confusion with Kick being a kid or a midget? Kick likes the idea; but Gunther explains that problem that she doesn't even notice him. I don't think she notices anyone judging by her dancing with Kick's watermelon stunt dummy. Kick has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind and so we go to the scene changer of doom. Kick is on the sidewalk and Gunther is in the street this time. Kick explains that Jackie wants an extreme daredevil; so Gunther is going to be taught to be one. Gunther jumps and sits on the blue skateboard with a thumbs up; but the skateboard controls Gunther's ass and slips away ann Gunther takes a wussy bump onto the ground WITH CHEESE AND BACON. Sigh. The skateboard does a wussier bump and forces Gunther to break the pavement right into the sewer pit below. So the sewers are only six inches from the pavement. This city is NOT UP TO CODE! We cut to a far shot of a porthole as Gunther pops from the manhole cover commenting on the sewer being extreme enough. For a ninja turtle yes. For you Gunther, no.

So we go to another scene change with a creepy shot of Gunther's fatty kisser and we zoom out to see that they are in either Kick's room or Gunther's room depending on what mood I was in when I did this mini rant. Kick has his Z-Grade easel with him along with Z-Grade pointy stick to show Gunther the three rules of dare deviling. One is speech, two is focus and three is reason. I can understand the second rule; but the first one is pointless and the third one is a one way ticket to seeing a shrink. Kick points (with red marker stick) to speech; so Gunther pulls out a poem straight out of his ass and reads it like a wimp. Now THAT is symbolic of Gunther isn't it?! Gunther's bouncing makes it worse as Kick looks creeped out again. HAHA! Kick tells him to stop it and just use two words and be simple. In other words; Sara Palin speak is good. UGH! Kick draws a red line to rule #2 which is to focus and we get the creepiest shot of Gunther's kisser to force the point. Kick uses the marker on a stick to force the point and Gunther gets it after the second try. So Kick draws another line down to rule three which is reason. Or as I call it insanity since taking advice from Kick Buttowski is like liking insanity over reason. Ironic echo I hear too? See; you never listen to reason. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sounds like Kick from Obsession To Kick doesn't it?! Yeap; Kick has learned nothing at all and I cannot wait for this to blow back in his face. Gunther of course completely ignores him and so Kick wraps it up by drawing a picture of his fugly mug. Kick asks for questions and Gunther apparently jumped out of the window! Nope; no questions at all. None whatsoever.

So we head to Jackie's house (I think) as Gunther knocks on the door and pulls the old ass paper poem from you know where and recites it. Gunther then focuses on making his poem as simple as possible as we get the THOUGHT BALLOON OF DOOM with the sentence and he basically takes all the first letters and it spells the word fart. Ummm; and Jackie opens the door with the curlers and if you cannot tell what happens next; you have no business reading this rant. As before; this show can be hazardous to your health without taking the proper precautions of mockery and condemnation. Wow; he actually didn't fart in Jackie's face. Yeah; he said fart about five times; but that is classier than him actually farting five times. The music did the farting for him as Jackie doesn't have the two clicks in the making of a clue on that one. She closes the door and Gunther has that look of despair as he walks down the steps and sits down sulking. We then see Kick magically appear from the bushes as he tells Gunther that he doesn't look the part. Gunther then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and....

We head inside Kicks' room (I guess) as we get the over dramatic dressing spot I have already seem about three times in this series already and of course it's Gunther doing it and the helmet doesn't fit him at all. HAHA! Gunther turns around and we get the wide screen closeup of Gunther and he looks like Kick if he was Eric Cartman from South Park. The lights come on and Gunther isn't exactly thrilled of this as Kick gives Gunther the up yours pose again. Kick tells him that the ladies won't even notice (Riiiiigggggghhhhtttttt) so we look outside the window as something is used on the grass to spell RU READ and Jackie runs in screaming and going insane flopping onto the ground making the Y. She still doesn't have the forsight to spell Are You doesn't she?! Kick is creeped out again; so he pulls Gunther to the window because she's all his so to speak. Jackie proclaims that she made the whole thing out of his old bandages which just ups the insanity factor even more for her. She wanted to make more and hopes Kick does by going down Widowmaker's Peak. She then notices Gunthers and proclaims that no one is there and walks out. HAHA! I finally found an awesome episode in the new Disney. Seriously; I have. Again; why isn't Jackie the MAIN CHARACTER of this series guys?!

So Gunther turns around and asks what he is doing wrong. Kick claims that it's the lack of the steel gaze. However; Gunther finally gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and realizes that it's deeds that will impress her so Gunther is going to do the stunt himself. I called that one five minutes before it happened I should note. I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! SMRT! I MEAN SMART! Kick realizes that his heat will be completely gone (as if he had much to begin with?) and tells him that Gunther is insane to try it because even Kick is a coward when it comes to the Widowmaker's Peak. Gunther stands his ground because if he gets noticed he must outdo Kick Buttowski: The Vainglorious Bastard. Wow; I actually enjoying Gunther this episode. I think he's finally gotten over. Kick wants him to listen to reason and so Gunther invokes the FLASHBACK OF DOOM as he remembers Kick's orders not to listen to reason. Gunther understands that and Kick takes it as listening to reason. So Gunther screws him good by disappearing on the zoom out of the room. HAHA! Kick cuts his lame biscuits promo....

....and so we cut to outside near the garage as the garage door is destroyed by the Assowski Boat. Say it with me...THIS HOUSE IS NOT UP TO CODE! We see Gunther carrying the boat as he founds his MEGAPHONE OF JIMMY HARTS as he announces to anyone within a one mile radius that he wants anyone particually Jackie Wackerman to come to Widowmaker's Peak and see him do the stunt of the lifetime. I know Kick is going to ruin the moment; but the buildup to this episode is dead on. We cut to Jackie hugging Kick's helmet as Gunther announces Widowmakers Peak and I notice that Jackie was eating the Watermelon head used for Kick's stunt dummy. HAHA! Jackie drops the helmet and it's enough to flick a button eye off in symbolic fashion. So we head to Widowmaker's Peak (which is a peak in some forest about 600 feet in height. Not bad; but Kit can do it a lot so better) as we zoom down to ground level as the Kick Buttowski fan club; or the so to be angry mob depending on what mood I was in when I was doing this mini rant. Then we see a old bum in a wagon with a little girl arrive as the old bum (Note from The Future: It's Papercut Peterson in case you didn't notice in Drop Kick) then proclaims he's going down the box going down the hill. The accent is so bad that I almost thought he said "little girl going down box; going to hell." Personally; I wish he said that even in spite of the lawsuits that would follow.

We go to the hill cliff (the first official logic break of the episode no less) as Gunther FatAssowski (might as well go for the cheap shot here) as the golden telescope of doom as he is looking for Jackie Wackerman on the sky shot and the telescope zooms in as Jackie appears in wedding gear! HAHA! She also waves just for a nice little touch of insanity. Sadly; Kick ruins it all by standing in front of the telescope protesting this outrage. Kick ask if Gunther wants to die. Please say yes Gunther; that's the only way you can escape the madness of Kick Buttowski. Gunther goes over to the Devil Cart and blows off Kick because he wants to live until it hurts. He slams ass first into the sled and he's stuck. HAHA! He gets himself unstuck as Kick comes over and doesn't want Gunther to do this because he will get hurt. True; but who gives a damn Kick? This is the best new Disney short EVERAH and I'll be damned if you are going to ruin this buzz right now. Kick steps in and tells him that he is not going to lose a friend over a whacky girl and a deadly stunt. Wow; Kick actually is pleasing me too; sort of.

He tries to get Gunther's fat ass out of the cart; but Gunther stands his ground because there is no other way around this. After all; Jackie is Whackie~! Kick pushes on Gunther who is spread on the top of the cart and naturally it pushes the cart down the hill (HA!) as Gunther blows off Kick's breath. Kick blows him off because it's just the wind. Kick then gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY and tries to get in from behind to stop the cart with his boots; but no dice is forthcoming. The cart teeters on the cliff as Gunther is hanging on by a thread as Kick calls him perfectly balanced. Riiiiigggggghhhhhtttttt (second logic break)! Kick tells him not to move; but I betcha Gunther doesn't listen to reason and moves. I check the Youtube video....Damn; I'm good. The cart free falls down the hill towards the ground and as I expected him to; Kick is ready to ruin the ending to this short as he brings out his skateboard from his back and it turns into a scooter. And Kit rotates another half cycle as Kick races down Windowmakers Peak as logic break #3 ensues as there are trees around the peak when they should be on ground level.

So we get the chase of doom as Kick wheels flame and one of them burns causing Kick to rumble and Gunther to scream badly. Well; I knew this awesome short would stop being so awesome at some point. Kick jumps onto the tail end and somehow manages to flip to the front and takes about 30 trees to the face and body. Okay; that spot was pretty funny to see. Then we get the CONTRIVED SPOT OF THE SHORT as they go through a bear cave and a bear rides with them on the other side. Wait; bears have two entrances to caves?! I don't get that one guys! More bad screaming and bad stunt driving as Kick gets in front of Gunther and the bear invokes the SWIPE OF DOOM and Kick's clothes come off as he is naked with just the underwear as per in his contract. Oh god; and we were so classy until right there. Bear goes rapid (I don't blame him) as Kick pulls the magically placed lever (WRONG LEVER!) and that opens the chute forcing the bear to float away easily. That's logic break #4 for the episode right there folks. Sadly Kick gets caught on the chute and we get more bad screaming and growling as they go off the ramp and fly up into the sun and then come down with a MAN-SIZED bump of course. More stunt driving as this is gone on for far too long for even my health. Lucky it ends with the Kick Bear Chute slamming into a tree branch and the cart stops on a dime right in front of wedding bells Jackie. Jackie finally realizes that it's Gunther and she cheers because Gunther conquered Widowmakers Peak. Well; in a way he actually did with a little assistance from Kick and the grizzly bear. So Gunther does the double devil pose complete with jackhammered orange aura background. Sigh.

Gunther then tries to jump out; but bounces off the cart and takes a MAN-SIZED bump on his ass. HAHA! Jackie runs in and wants Gunther to marry her. Gunther makes a more effective sidekick to Jackie then with Kick; so why not? I know it's not going to happen; but I can dream can't I?! Gunther agrees to as Kick walks in with his underwear (I guess BS&P had enough of 100% nudity; which I don't mind seeing from them) thanking Gunther and then he drops flat on his face. Gunther thanks Kick for making it look easy as Kick gives him the thumbs up. Jackie continues to woman handle Gunther and then makes me laugh and smile as she stomps Kick right on his helmet and then gets creeped out for the roadkill and runs away stage left. HAHA! We see Gunther and Jackie having fun with the moronic crowd as Kick just lies there thinking that his problems are over...and then here comes Mrs. Papercut (according to at least one commentator in this video) as she wants to be Kick's new girlfriend and she is so fugly that she and Kick are perfect for each other. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm...Kick groans and that ends the best Kick Buttowski short EVERAH at 10:13. It's no Stormy Weather; but it is better than Daredevil Bart and that's a good thing for the new Disney. Too bad this is pretty much the peak for the series in general. **** 1/4 (85%).

Opening Moment #2: The title card has Kick and his want to be dad in black siloutte with Dad touching Kick's helmet with red jackhammer background. Not much else to say about it; it's probably one of the better title cards on the show. Not saying much I know.....

Father From The Truth: We begin this one with a far shot of Mellowbrook School and we head inside the classroom as a black lady with Marge Simpson black hair, a green dress, pencil in said hair and glasses addresses a class on some big assignment. And considering the voice; she sounds like a man too. Interesting turn of events indeed. So she asks what the special day is and Gunther is the first to raise his hand. He thinks it's spagetti and meatbulb day. The teacher actually agrees with him; but she pushes up the world map and reveals on the chalkboard that it's also Bring Your Dad Day. Apparently; this school has some problems with sexism. Everyone cheers as Gunther wants to shave his Dad's back just for the special day and the class gets disgusted. Kick just sits there unemoting as usual as he groans while a blond haired boy with jeans, shoes and an orange shirt blows off Kick's dad for being lame. Nah; he's not lame son. He's just has a creepy enabling of letting Brianna becoming a Modonna model. The class is SHOCKED to hear that one (yeah sure) as Kick proclaims that his Dad is not lame and that he is the coolest and that the heavens broke the mold to create him. I knew God was a pervert; I just needed the evidence of this short to prove it. Or not. The classroom shows that it doesn't take much to amuse them on anything. Kick then contradicts himself as Dad broke that mold as Gunther asks if Kick has a different dad then he remembers. Kick claims that it's the same dad he is talking about.

Note From The Future: The teacher is voiced by Roz Ryan who debuted on Amen as Amelia Hetebrink in 1986-1991. Hercules (series and movies) as Thaila was her DTVA debut and she was Wade's mother in Kim Possible and appeared in various cartoon shorts as Bubbie including the television series The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack. Her most recent credit was Waiting Forever as Dorothy. She also appeared on Super Password in 1989 and Hollywood Squares in 1998/1989. She also co-produced Nikita Blues in 2001. She has 30 acting credits to her resume.

And of course we head inside to Kick's living room as Harold is sitting in the loveseat watching television and creating a house of cards. He looks pretty normal to me which is an improvement over Kick thank you very much. Kick then proves my point by calling it lame. If you ever want someone to play weapons grade projection on being lame call Kick Buttowski. Gunther asks how Kick is going to make him awesome and Kick proclaims that he has two days to make him awesome and it shouldn't be hard. Why not just call the guys from the Replacements and have the main kids's stunt dad replace Harold? See; easy. It's not like Disney ever cared about blood parents anyway; so why not take the plunge and see if you can make this episode somehow not suck. Harold has a double decker and Kick simply puts his head down in shame.

So we go to the scene changer as we get a shot of the Kick Ramp of Fear. Harold asks why they are doing this with the strange Z-Grade echo effect as we head up to see Kick talks about details later. We then zoom out to see Harold with a skateboard helmet on and pads with Kick's blue skateboard along with Kick and Gunther. Harold doesn't seem to mind doing groovey things with his son and I don't see how Harold is lame at all as Gunther whisper yells at Kick just to annoy me. Gunther asks if he should try something smaller and Kick blows him off because there is zero time to waste. He flips the skateboard up with his foot and gives it to Harold telling him to groove until it hurts. Harold places the skateboard down and puts his foot on and then trips and falls over the left barrier and free falls to his Kenndy-equse death. Okay; that was pretty neat to see. Harold admits that it hurts as he gets the MAN-SIZED bump into the trashcan.

So we go to another scene changer as Harold has the pilot's cap with googles on. It looks like there is glue sticking to his hair too as he pulls down the goggles and we zoom out to see him on the catapult. I see Gunther has pulled out all the Viking stops for this short. Kick cuts the rope with the axe and Harold gets squashed into the sidewalk. That bump was super wussy to boot. Kick drops his head in shame again. So we go to another scene changer as we see Harold driving a motorcycle looking cool because even Harold cannot screw this one up; can he?! He drives over the ramp; but gravity gets ticked off and Harold takes a really good bump into the green car as Harold has the look of someone who got kicked in the nuts. He slides down the car as Gunther and Kick look SHOCKED and APPALLED on that one. So we get another scene changer as Harold is slipping on the sidewalk with the Cheetah Chung jet rocket pack with roller skates. Ummm; yeah. He actually makes a good showing of it with his balance as he gives the thumbs up as Kick and Gunther think this might work; but we get the MAN-SIZED bump off-screen just to screw the crappy kids over. We then see Harold doing the SCOOBY ANGEL SNOW ANGEL SPOT OF DOOM in a brick wall as the Cheetah Chung is now all over the place natch. Harold gets his nose out and asks what this is for; and Kick ignores him and walks away with Gunther in tow. I should have guessed that Kick was so much of a heartless bastard.

So we head to the Battlesnax and then inside the dining room again as Kick sulks about the situation as Gunther tells him not to worry. With that Viking helmet on his head? Yeah right. Kick blows him off and talks about Gunther's cool dad as we cut over to the bar as Gunther's dad does some flambe on a hapless customer's dinner and it turns to ashes. Oooooookkkkkkkkaaayyyyyyy. That is Magnus Magnuson is voiced by Clancy Brown who started with Bad Boys as Viking Lofgren in 1983 and did various movies such as Thunder Alley, The Bride, Highlander, Extreme Prejudice and The Man Who Broke 1,000 Chairs. The Little Mermaid The Series is his DTVA debut as the Octopin Leader and also did DTVA shows such as Hakon from Gargoyles, Seige from Mighty Ducks, Blotox from Hercules, Admiral LaMaise from Recess, Kleev from Buzz Lightyear Star Command, Frank Horton from Lloyd in Space, Otto from Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go, Commander Kane from Kim Possible, Dark Dragon from American Dragon: Jake Long, and a few cameos from Phineas & Ferb. He has 174 credits to his resume not including soundtrack for three and two production credits for The Perverts and The Making from Daniel Boone. He is mostly known for being Mr. Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants and his most recent credits are The Goon, Cowboys & Aliens, G.I. Joe: Renegades and Conan: Red Nails.

Kick proclaims that it couldn't be too much to ask for a cool dad like Ninja Dad (complete with JACKHAMMER NINJA ASS KICKING OF DEATH SEQUENCE to force the point), or Commando Dad (complete with JACKHAMMER COMMANDO ASS KICKING OF DEATH SEQUENCE to force the point) or Rockstar Dad (complete get the picture here). Of course we got a real cartoon series on Rockstar Dad and it sucked badly so two out of three isn't too shabby in terms of coolness. Instead he gets boring dad (complete with ROCKING CHAIR ASS KISSING SEQUENCE OF DEATH to really force the point). Oh come on Kick! Even Harold not THAT old. Not that I expect Kick to be reasonable about anything. Gunther asks if Harold could pretend to be cool; but Kick has a MIMI JOKE ZONE PLAN in mind; he'll pretend that he has a cool dad and Gunther proclaims that he'll pretend that he supports this. Whatever turns you on Gunther.

So we go to the scene changer inside Gunther's house (I think) in front of the blue sofa as Kick and Gunther have their clipboards set to mass losses. See they are doing auditions to be Kick Buttowski's Dad. Gunther asks the dumbest question about being Kick's dad as we see the people who have the guts to show up: Papercut Peterson (voiced by Carl Fruolo), the bus driver from Snowpocalypse who is Brat Lawler, The red haired cowboy of death, Mr. Vickie and a monkey. Yeah; a monkey which is probably a rib on the people who worked on My Gym Partner's a Monkey. It turns out that they are really at their sewage tree house (how symbolic of this series eh?) as they all scatter as Mr. Vickie does some monkey climbing and Brat gets in the school near the same cliff from Snowpocalypse. Gunther proclaims that unlike Wade; he saw that one coming. HAHA! Kick wonders who can play his dad and by the process of elimination there is only one person insane enough to do this and not be Jackie Wackerman. And as I expected it to be; we cut to inside the kitchen (I think) as Wade is making himself a pop tart which explodes in the microwave. Ummm; yeah. We zoom out to see Kick and Gunther proclaim that Wade is the only one left. Why didn't I see that one coming a mile away?

Anyhow; Wade greets Danger Dude and his something that I cannot make out due to the bad slur again. Wade explains that he was nuking a burrito from the frozen snack world. And considering how it turned out; he really means nuking it. He puts it into the container and slurps out of it. That causes the CHEAP HEAT OF LAUGHS and he belches from the brain burn. Of course that is enough to cause Gunther's hair to pull back. This IS Sara Palin's Universe. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... Gunther then plays Patrick Star and wants a brain burn as he runs away stage right. Whatever Gunther as Wade replays Kit's poem again. Wade asks what Kick wants and Kick asks if he knows his dad and of course Wade has zero idea who he is. Kick explains to him that it's Bring Your Dad to School day and he's his dad see. Wade likes the idea and asks how he can be of help. Kick just tells him to act cool as I suspect Maxie Zeus wants to punch Kick in the face again. We hear Gunther screaming about Brain Burn in the background.

So we head to the Battlesnax on the scene changer of doom as Harold enters with his pilot's cap on and blue skateboard. He calls to Magnus on an order and Magnus tells him to wait as we see Helga for the first time shaving his back with basically a knife and lots of shaving cream. EWWWWW!! GO BACK TO HAROLD! GO BACK TO HAROLD! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! Magnus calls Harold Eddie for some odd reason as we cut back to Harold whistling. Magnus actually returns wearing a shirt and green tie (but keeps the helmet though. Helga keeps her stereotypical Viking stuff since I said earlier that Gunther's family are legit Vikings) and gives Harold his brown bag of lunch or snack. Harold sniffs a bit as Mangus explains to him that Monday is a special day. Harold doesn't have the two clicks in the making of a clue on that as Magnus explains that it's Take Your Dad To School Day. Harold thinks Kick forgot about it. Riiiiigggghhhhhtttttt. Again; Harold is like most new cartoons today; really, really dense. I'm all for the female being smarter than the male (because dumb females are so passe); but extremeism becomes sadistic after a while. Harold decides to surprise Kick at school as he takes the skateboard and somehow breaks logic by sliding into the glass door and destroying his lunch in the process without shattering the glass whatsoever. SOMEONE FIRE THAT GLASS DOOR!

So we head to Mellowbrook School and as I expected; there is zero buildup for Wade to act cool before this. Yeah; we spend the next five minutes with the actual event without any buildup or context to Wade's involvement; nor do we see if Harold improves his skateboarding skills. Welcome to the new cartoons where they throw stuff and see if it sticks. We head inside with the black school teacher introducing the class to today's Bring Your Dad To School Day. So we begin the event with the class president herself Kendall The Bland Valley Girl Wench who introduces her dad who deals with risk in the finanical world. BOOOORRRRRRRINNNNNNNGGGGGGGG! I give Kendall a ** 1/2 performance out of *****. Mr. Perkins is a suit wearing male with brown middle bald pattern hair and green striped tie. In other words; bland as Kendall is. The class is sleeping on that one much to Kendall's happiness to her dad's intellegent speaking. See; this is why Michael Eisner was so concerned when KIT was doing this. Kendall clears her throat and wakes up the class as they clap with sheepish grins to suck up to her.

The teacher is not amused of this as she calls up Gunther and Gunther is up introducing Magnus to the class. Magnus is already better in the class department as one of the boys raises his hand and tells Magnus that he is wearing a skirt and of course Magnus gets all huffy and yelly about it because it's a kilt see. I give Gunther a *** 1/2/***** for his dad; could have been more if he didn't shave his back. He eats the desk and I say he gains a 1/2 * for that performance alone. The teacher isn't amused as she calls up Mouth (real name: Christopher) as he is the guy who was taunting Kick Buttowski earlier in the short. He calls his dad the assistant security guard at the Mellowbrook Mall as he arrives and he is a fatass beat cop on a Segueway who talks in pop-culture talk as the class is impressed. I'm not impressed with any guard who thinks that they are cool in a job that makes them look like heels. I'll give Christopher ***/***** for the report. He stares at Kick just to rub it in as Kick is not impressed.

Note From The Future: “Mouth” Christopher is voiced by Richard Steven Horvitz who started in the television series Safe At Home as Gary Van Sickle in 1986. He did mostly school show cameos until he broke through as Alpha 5 in the various Mighty Morphin Power Ranger shows. He then went on to animation full time with Angry Beavers as Daggett and Invader Zim as Invader Zim! Kim Possible as Aviarius is his DTVA debut and he also appeared in Dave The Barbarian and That's So Raven. He is Grey Matter in Ben 10, and Billy in Grim & Evil (also wrote an episode). Fred & Vinnie is his most recent credit and has 87 total roles not including 6 ADR roles (Shrek, Teaching Mrs. Tingle, Senseless, The Day My Parents Ran Away, The Spy Next Door and The Adventures of Tom Thumb & Thumberlina.)

So we head outside the hallway to see Harold Buttowski proclaiming himself the coolest dad and with that briefcase; he's pretty cool as he makes it to the door as the teacher calls for Kick Buttowski. Harold looks on in shock as Kick is in the front of the class introducing his Dad as it's Wade dressed up like Harold Buttowski; only with a mustache and a baseball cap. Wade is clearly reading from cue cards on this one as Kick over acts the whole thing calling Wade his real dad (which has some truth to it since Wade seems to help Kick more than Harold ever did) as Harold is in disbelief over this. Kick and Fake Harold point at each other and Christopher do the Gruffi pose. This one is clearly a DUD so far for Kick.

Harold is outside in disbelief as Fake Harold throws the cue cards away and does this awesome selling of a scene from a ninja movie as Wade is somehow carrying this performance on his back now that the cue cards are gone. He even jumps onto the desk of the teacher as the class is interested now. Kick is now up to **/***** for Fake Harold as Wade continues to jump around talking about his fantasies in the Food 'N' Fix and then hiding behind the teacher's desk. He pops up and fires the machine gun using the pencil and finally this short is actually funny to see. Doesn't mean much; but it's an improvement to the dull and inoffense short we have been seeing before this. He even found time to do a rock concert as Kick proclaims that he did all that this morning as the moronic class sells it as real. I see Kick Buttowski paid them off too. Harold looks on and sulks as he believe Kick is embrassed to be his son. Wade continues to oversell the performance of Fake Harold and he trips onto the pencil and bounces into the trashcan and that pops off the mustache and it lands right on the teacher's mouth. Kick Buttowski is so FREAKIN BUSTED~! Wade proclaims that he didn't see that one coming. I give that performance a perfect monty which sadly will be overturned by the teacher on the grounds that Wade is not Kick's dad.

Everyone is SHOCKED AND APPALLED to see that as Christopher blows off Kick's half ass attempt to be cool as everyone laughs in his face. The bell rings and everyone opens the door whacking Harold in the face. Everyone walks out doing to Kick what they usually like to do to Kick and I approve because not only is his dad lame; his son is dishonest which is much worse than his father merely being lame. Kick and Gunther talk to each other as Kick admits that he screwed up. Sorry Kick; Rebecca beat you to the punch on that forbidden word 20 years ago. Gunther tells him that it was better to be honest and lame instead of being dishonest and lame. Kick agrees with him as he admits that Harold is a pretty nice man with a creepy fetish. Okay; I made that last part up. Gunther tells Kick to look on the bright side because it is pasta and meatball day. Gunther runs out like a happy like child bumping Harold some more next to the door. Harold looks on from the door seeing that Kick is sulking in defeat. Harold then has a bright idea and we get the Z-Grade Martial Arts Widescreen Zoom In as Harold proclaiming that it's time to be awesome. Thankfully; no Fairly Oddparents jack-hammering here.

So we head to the cafeteria with a far shot of the area and then a zoom in shot of Gunther being gross as usual because we just have to keep the morons happy as Kick is not amused as I am seeing Gunther making a disgusting little boy out of himself. We then see Christopher and the class cheering on Mouth's Dad as he spins around on his Segueway to waste some more time. He stops with the flashlight show as Christopher calls his the coolest dad ever complete with Gruffi pose to annoy me. Mouth goes over to Kick, Gunther and Wade with their lunches and taunts Kick some more for my amusement. Kick blows him off because it doesn't matter and Mouth blows him off because Harold is a no show for about three seconds. Harold walks in and proclaims that he saved the best for last as Kick pleads for Harold not to do it. Harold does his flip kick spot and slides all around tipping over the tomato sauce; and basically causes the world most selfish solo food fight in history as he splatters every table his feet slides on. Okay; this is pretty funny as the moronic class mates notice and walk away from Christopher's dad. See; I knew they would see through the fact that he was a crappy cop. Everyone gets splattered as somehow Kick is on top of Harold's feet and there is more skateboard sliding in meatball sauce as they finally crash into the lunch lady serving area and the food gets splatted in our faces. Or would have happened if this episode ran on a Nintendo 3DS. No, not really.

Everyone is stunned (except for Mouth who has the Gruffi pose on full mouth in anger) as Harold and Kick pop from the carnage and knock the meatballs from their skulls as Harold feels bad for screwing up. However; Kick forgives him because while the stunt failed; he was awesome in failure and he did it for Kick which is all what counts. Kick still looks like he doing his up yours pose when forgiving him; so color me unimpressed. Harold asks for Kick's support and Kick gives it to him as the class mates cheer for him much to Mouth's disgust. Gunther lies on his back thinking that he died and went to pasta and meatball heaven. If only Gunther; if only. Harold wants to try the ramp again; but Kick would like to build a card castle with him just for some safe clean fun. Harold wants to groove til it hurts so he slides on the meatball sauce again and whacks into a wall off-screen with a MAN-SIZED bump. And that ends the short right there at 10:24. Well; this was a dull and boring episode until Wade started being absurd and it had an excellent finish; but otherwise inoffense. ** 3/4 (55%).


Yes; you read it right folks, Kick Buttowski finally got over the **** hump thanks to For The Love of Gunther! Sadly; for him, it was Jackie carrying the whole short kicking and screaming along with a surprise performance from Gunther as he actually eliminated a good chunk of the banes and presented some funny along the way. He finally got over as a babyface for me after all the terrible stuff he has pulled so far. I will give Kick this; he did look good doing something other than a bump machine for one scene and then whizzed it away with the contrived finish; but he didn't figure much into the finish as I thought he would. And the logic was kept mostly in check until the final two minutes when it went off track; but at least I enjoyed the first eight or so minutes needed. So in other words; we have our best Kick Buttowski short ever. Again; for a show that is supposed to be about Kick Buttowski; it's Jackie the Stalker who is the most likable character. At least Gunther makes an excellent sidekick once the poison of Kick is purged from his body.

Well; with Father From The Truth, the show went downhill again; but it wasn't as large as a fall as I expected. This was for the most part a dull episode that got better with Wade's absurd presentation for Kick and the finish involving Harold showing how absurd he can be when push comes to shove. Harold wasn't too shabby and most of the jack-hammering and body fluid jokes were kept almost to zero which is really nice to see. I did like Mouth/Christopher because I don't like Kick still; but at least someone has to blow him off for being lame and Brad isn't available. I only have one major complaint in that they didn't build the Wade being a fake Dad up enough and not enough building on Harold's attempts to be cool and the first half seem to be just running through the motions of an middling short. On the other hand; they didn't disgust me with logic breaks and bad animation so they are improving on that level for this series at least. Now they need to make Kick Buttowski likable and that is the tallest mountain to climb thus far. Sadly; Father From The Truth was the most recent episode short of the shorts I am ranting on. So next up is Kick Out and Kick The Habit which is episode #3 and one of the episodes I was going to rant on in my Easter Sadism rants in April. So.....

Thumbs up for For The Love of Gunther and a thumbs in the middle for Father From The Truth and I'll see you next time.

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