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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
Rank Of Awesome/A Very Buttowski Mother's Day Rant
Too Bad This Show's Rank Doesn't Place.....
Well; now we can finish Season One of Kick Buttowski in style as there are four episodes left. YAY! Oh wait; I mean, D'OH! Our first short feature Kick doing a lot of stunts just to be the top of the internets. Oh joy! Then our second short features Kick and Brad competing to suck up to Denise on Mother's Day. Well; let's rant on shall we...?!
Rank of Awesome is written by Mitch Larson and Derek Dressler. The storyboards are done by Robb Pratt and directed by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. A Very Buttowski Mother's Day is written by David Shayne. The storyboards are done by Scott O'Brien and Howie Perry and directed by Chris Savino. As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.
Opening Moment #1: The title card of the day features the CGI pixaled version of being a vainglorious bastard. I'll leave that as an excercise to the reader.
Rank Of Awesome: We begin this one with a sky shot of the cul-de-sac and we see a pinata fly into the air and where it lands; do we really care? And Kick doesn't catch it of course and it opens up. Gunther grabs the candy and wonders where he got the pinata. Take one guess what crime Kick committed. Just guess. Gunther wants Kick to put it on video for Rank of Awesome. Kick asks what is that and we cut to the Youtube video of Rank of Awesome with a really bad voice as we see Gunther in a viking suit with an axe walking to really silly action music. Then Gunther fights and stumbles and destroys the background and wraps himself around it. Oh yeah; awesome indeed. No, not really. We return to Kick turning the wheel of the catapult (with the red shovel as the cup as Kick questions this silliness and apparently he's huge in the old country. Geez; I wonder why as we see the MOB OF OLD COUNTRY GIRLS running in as Gunther bails behind the catapult. Kick asks who they are and Gunther claims that they are his fans. I see they have the IQ of most new Disney fans too; to not clearly notice Gunther bailing behind the catapult. Kick thinks this website is perfect for him as Gunther states that he only needs a computer and a camera...which Kick claims it's a problem since we see both of them get destroyed on impact with the ground. And about a hundred other objects and a gay man. Whatever Kick. And how evil is Kick to try to do some homophobic tossing with Mr. Vickie?!
Gunther offers to give Kick his camera which is almost destroyed and Gunther is running out of duct tape. Wait; so he had the foresight to buy a new computer; but use the old country's video camera? So we head to the world's steepest ramp as Kick skateboards down and does the double devil's pose for good luck I guess. He does three loop-de-loops for only $9.95 as we discover that it's only a video Kick posted as he proclaims that it's worthy of being on Rank of Awesome. And the flamming hoop gets involved of course and so does Kick's vainglorious posing. You can't really call someone a poser if they aren't...you know...posing. Kick thinks it's awesome and the website blows it off as #5068 and not awesome. FINALLY! How sad is this world when a cold, hard machine can accurately rank Kick's heat?! And an old lady crackles with her walker of course; just to amuse me as Gunther claims that it's the definition of awesome and he looked it up as he shows a dictionary. I didn't know Google University used actual real books too. Kick ponders it over and proclaims that it's time Awesomeness got redefined into meaninglessness. I made up the last part of that; but we all know it's true. So we go to the street as Gunther is putting a carsset (!!!) on Kick and shoving his foot in Kick's back to tie him up. Good selling though as Gunther asks where he got it. It's bad enough that Kick steals on a regular basis; but does he have to steal from Helga of all people?!
Kick is also blindfolded in case you cared as he has teleported on the ramp as Kick proclaims that the internet has spoken and it's time to step it up. Gunther isn't so sure about this. Kick claims that extreme is his middle name and Gunther gleefully counters that one for me. Look on the bright side; at least you don't have a middle name that can be used by racists to make you look like a second class citizen; or worse, an unsurper. It's basically the same stunt; only adding the world skeleton globe which we saw in Clothes Call. So in essence; I'm betting Gunther asks Kick about it and we get a flashback of it being stolen from the Mellowbrook Mall. And the angry bear makes another cameo of course; but does nothing but growl as we return to Kick's room watching the video. Did I mention that Gunther dropped the camera and it no sold too?! Kick proclaims that no one expects the bear. No one except ROA as it's ranked #8342. HAHA! This website is smart to notice the deadringing of the stunt there too.
Kick folds the laptap and we head to the streets again as Kick brings in his big guns since his little dick and no hair isn't enough anymore. POW! OUCH! Ummmm.... Gunther proclaims that the internet is not a person and that it's a....WHAT THE HELL DID HE SAY?! And why do I think it's the funniest thing he has ever said in his life? He looked it up in the Google U dictionary too. And he bails since the Dutch Mob of Doom is after him again as usual. But the girls grab him; rip his clothes off and kiss him while in his underwear. HAHA! Hey; he was the idiot who thought being an internet heart thorb in the old country was cool; so screw him. Gunther warns the cruelity of the internet and Kick blows it off with the Gruffi pose. In a way; I don't blame him. If the internet is a cruel mistress; then that would involve copyright notices and takedown of videos on Youtube. THAT'S a cruel mistress.
Kick only cares about being #1 on Rank of Awesome and a volcano blows it's top. And just to prove that this universe makes less sense than even Fanboy & Chum Chum's surreal universe; we discover that it's in the middle of the cul-de-sac, along with a cruise ship and a shark tank. It's bad enough that Kick has to steal from Helga; but now he's stealing whole plotlines from Phineas & Ferb too?! Oh; and I see Gunther got his clothes back and got the lipstick off his face too. Gunther asks if this is the stunt and Kick claims that it's only phase one; as we HIT THE MONTAGE~! Kick is nailing boards asking for blueprints from Gunther and Gunther is being chased by his Old Country Fan Girls. So we get Kick building more ramps upside down and falling, Kick getting bricks and stealing from the House of Bricks that collapses, Gunther getting chased, Kick stealing tires from a moving green car, then stealing a horse from Rodeo Cowboy (and pratfalls on his face like Darkwing Duck complete with inapporos sound effects), and did I mention that Gunther is being chased by fangirls? Here's a clue Gunther: Don't hide behind a newspaper where the headlines read: Gunther getting chased by fangirls. Nothing good comes out of it. And Kick steals several overpasses with cars on them too. Yes; this is turning into a bad Phineas & Ferb episode now.
So we cut to Kick setting up the camera on a tripod just to complete the obvious stunt porno shoot that he is shooting for here. And just to further pad the running time; here comes Kendell with her white cat asking Kick if he has a permit to do this stunt. Permits?! In this universe?! I think Kendell is confused Mellowbrook with the REAL WORLD here. Kick tells the truth and Kendell wants to know more. Kick blows her off because teaching her about awesome is like teaching a dog how to fly. I think the dog pilots of TaleSpin would like to have a word with you Clarence. They just argue about knowing about awesomeness and I cannot take sides here because they both suck when it comes to awesomeness. Kick is crappy at it; Kendell is just dull and boring. Kick insult Hazel (addressed as such by Kendell) and we exchange hisses before Gunther fianlly appears and roars like a lion. And then we jump cut and see Kick and Gunther smelling the air.
Ooookkkkaaaayyyyy; someone forgot to finish that scene for some reason since both goofs are on ground level now. Gunther claims that it might be a ligonberry burretto and he farted again. I doubt that seriously since on-screen farting is allowed on this show. Gunther explains the stunt which just makes little sense and is pointless other than to allow us to show a clear shot of Gunther's half naked ass, or plumber's butt as they say. Thankfully; Kick blows it off and shows the grand finale which involves the trampoline and bouncing into the mid air white plane flying in the sky. It's Flight #428 to Boston by the way as he shows his OUT OF NOWHERE pocket watch and it ends with Kick landing in a factory filled with billions and billions of pillows. And of course the factory is roofless as the sign sezs. So I'm supposed to buy that this factory is stupid enough to have no roof on top; and that people love pillows soaked with rain and whatever international materials?! Don't we get enough of that INSIDE the factory as it is?! Gunther isn't so sure; but he lets him anyway because it makes him steeler. Whatever guys. So we test the skateboard and camera and we are off...to copy Phineas & Ferb again. I'm not calling it guys. Gunther seems to forget to film half of it which indicates that Kick screwed up; and I'm right as Kick bounces off the trampoline and the airplane experiences tailwinds on the shot inside the plane as we are two seconds ahead and Kick cuts his usual promo and freefalls straight down. Kick yells at Gunther as we drop straight down into a camera shot of the shark tank as he lands in it and then gets flipped out and lands in the trash can. HAHA! When even a shark won't eat you; you know you suck as a character.
Gunther opens the trash can and somehow Kick went through into the sewer. Damn; even this street is not up to code. Kick pops from the (moral) sewer and declares victory as Gunther tries to get a word in and Kick calls this all awesome. Kick loves it as it ranks.....12,067. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That internet site is so awesome! It sees right through Kick's abilities. I wonder if the writers of Phineas & Ferb are controlling it. If so; my respect for that show has gone up about ten notches. Kick is flabbergasted and the lady on the screen dies as Kick sulks because the internet hates him. No Kick; the internet doesn't really hate you since most ADM members don't even give you the time of day which is actually WORSE than being hated. Kick sulks about not being the world's greatest daredevil if he cannot impress on ROA as he talks to his goldfish in a bowl. Steve the Goldfish no sells all and Kick calls it good talk. So Kick yells at the computer screen wanting to know what qualifies as being awesome. Then the computer responds that he finally has a #1 awesome video and it plays.....and it's Kendell and her cat. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Even better; Kendell uses her cat Hazel to cosplay Kick Buttowski. Oh my goodness; Kendell finally got over! I am so loving this moment. Cattyowski is so AWESOME! Kick wants to be excused to the bathroom and he slams the door and we get the most overwrought profanity in history and a lot of banging before Kick storms out with the kitchen sink and a lot of toilet paper on his head. I see Kick can just BE JEALOUS! HEE HEE!
So Kick throws it all away and sits down proclaiming that if the internet wants cats; he's giving it cats even if it doesn't make any sense. So we segue to inside the Food -N- Fix as we see Wade naked and wearing fish underpants. No folks; I'm not making that up. Wade is wearing fish for underpants. I don't know why and even Wade doesn't like whatever idea Kick is cooking up here. Wade asks why he's wearing a fish diaper and Kick proclaims that he cannot find Gunther who is getting chased by his fangirl base in the background. Wade asks where he got the fish diaper...and after seeing who he stole it from, you are better off not knowing. So Wade is cool with it as Kick tells him to put the milk in after he launches (complete with pinky swear from Wade) as he straps the camera on his head; just to insult The Tick fans everywhere. And he opens the truck to reveal about a thousand cats running rabid. And they jackhammer the word cats in red letters. Oh jeepers; we just couldn't go one full episode without Fairly Oddparents jackhammering couldn't we? And we jackhammer Fish Diaper and Jade runs away as Kick surfs on all the cats and sezs Catabunga! WHAT THE HELL KICK?! Yes; he's surfing on cats! Who cares at this point?!
Gunther is still running away from his fangirls of course as he and Wade both get swiped by fangirls and fancats alike. Then more cats join in the fun and Hazel jumps out of the window much to the surprise of Kendell. So much for that cat having intellegence. Cat wave ensues (which isn't jackhammered) leads to the Cat-A-Pult (which is jackhammered) as Wade jumps over it and Kick plops into it as it's raining cats literally. Sadly; Kick lacked the foresight to have DOGS in the mix so we could have proper symbolism. Gunther and the fangirls stop and look on in awe as Kick gets launched into the show just as Wade sets up the inflatable pool of milk. Sadly; he misses the target by about 50 feet. Like I'm buying that Wade did that by "accident"?! Kick cuts his biscuits promo and freefalls and takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the pavement WITH CHEESE AND BACON. The cats land on their feet of course which Wade and Gunther point out. The camera drops and breaks completely I guess. And then we break logic and reason as somehow the CHEESE AND BACON bump is gone and Kick lands on the bulleyes face down which causes Hazel to lick his face. HEE HEE! The fangirls LOVE it. I sort of like it too; but then again, I'm a sadist. The fangirls circle Kick and takes pictures of it on their text messengers. Really?! Gunther breathes a sigh of relief as the fangirls bail and Kick groans on cue as the cheese and bacon bump returns out of nowhere. Gunther raises Kick up and Kick wants him to upload the video. Gunther grabs the camera and it breaks completely causing Kick to groan to death. HAHA! Gunther wants to know how to spell it too. HEE HEE!
So we head to Mellowbrook Hospital and to Kick's room as Kick is in a complete body cast with slings on his left leg and arm as Gunther informs him that his video made it #1 on Rank of Awesome. Kick then realizes that they lost the camera; so Gunther opens the curtains and we see all the Dutch Fangirls at the window taking pictures with the camera. They caught the last part from every conceivable angle and Kick doesn't care of course as he wants to do his pose. However; since he's injured; Gunther has to help him up and force him into position which is NOT going to help the healing process at all. The fangirls love it and that ends the episode at 10:20 approx. Hey; this was pretty good thanks to Kendell getting over and making Kick actually do something that nearly killed him instead of the usual wussy landings. A few logic breaks hurt it though. *** 1/2 (70%).
Opening Moment #2: The title card is a mother's day tray of flowers, eggs and orange juice. What? No bacon? UNACCEPTABLE!!
A Very Buttowski Mother's Day: We begin this one with the silliest NIGHT TO MORNING shot ever from a far shot of Kick's house. We then zoom in and go into Kick's room as we do the dress up sequence again only with more vainglorious silliness than usual. And he puts on a blue aporn? And he cracks an egg into a bowl. Huh? And he pours a pitcher of orange juice into a glass. And puts a rose in a vase. Then we teleport to Kick on a footstool (NOT THAT ONE!) as he is frying scrambled eggs on the stove and flips them onto a plate. Then we see him putting it all on a tray with bacon (What? No frying the bacon spot? Very sloppy guys!) and then putting a Mother's Day card hand written with a heart on it. Okay; that is pretty sweet of him as he carries it into the hallway like a butler. And here comes Brad of course to ruin the whole damn thing for my amusement. At least I hope that is what he will do. He steals and the tray and eats it in one gulp with a disturbing closeup shot. Brad slobbers the bacon as Kick is not happy and runs in and gets tripped by Brad as he drinks the orange juice like a dick. And then gets sat on his ass by Brad as somehow the toast teleports onto the plate on the tray. Kick tries to grab onto Brad but Brad no sells and bleches right in Kick's face like a good heel would. Brad gets up and wants to fight it out again. Because apparently two crappy fights were not enough. Kick gets up and blows it off and walks into the kitchen to make another Mother's day breakfest and Brad gets the LIGHTBULB OF BLOODY CLAIRTY (complete with blood red background).
Brad grabs onto Kick's helmet in the kitchen and blows him off because he worked too long and hard to allow Kick to show him up in the class department. Don't worry Brad; I doubt you can lose a class match with Kick at this point. Kick proclaims that Mother's Day is not for him or Brad; it's for Denise. Would be more convincing if Kick wasn't so...you know..unlikable. Kick then admits that #1 belongs to Brianna on terms of being Denise's favorite as shown in the family photo on the wall. So Kick is aiming for #2 on the Denise suck up pole I see which is hilarious considering Kick wanting to be #1 on Rank Of Awesome. Kick has also had enough of Brad's heelish ways on Mother's Day as we see a montage of Kick giving presents to mother; only to be screwed by Brad who actually dresses up as mother at one point. And throw Kick and his bed off Deadman's Drop which I admit is pretty funny. We return to reality (no, not really) as Kick proclaims that Brad is not ruining this mother's day. Brad of course blows it off because he's the older brother and he wants a car. Kick wants to fight as Brad wants all the points and he gets floured with the PORNO FLOUR OF DEATH. Brad proclaims that he went "there" and it is on BABEE! It's nice to know that someone else doesn't like that spot either.
Kick runs to the fridge and grabs a mustard and ketchup container and spews both onto the floor which Brad slips and takes a MAN-SIZED bump into the fridge and somehow; the fridge doesn't move an inch. Kick takes the bowl and milk and goes to the counter as Brad counters by throwing eggs at Kick. Come on Brad; save that crap for Halloween okay?! So Kick hides in the sink and throws forks as Brad which Brad blocks with the fridge. So the projectile fight continues on while Brianna just causally walks in; pours out the orange juice into a glass and walks out drinking it. HEE HEE! That's how I feel about most clustermucks in Kick Buttowski by the way. So we get them with lids as shields and forks as swords as Kick bails stage left and Brad slips on the ketcup again and collides into the sink. The eggs float into the air and drops on Kick's helmet and Brad's eyes. Kick doesn't like this at all since that's the last of the eggs. Brad claims that Kick's mother's day is a total fail. As if the MESS in the kitchen wasn't a total failure of cleaniness already. Kick isn't giving up yet as Brad taunts him...and then Kick leaves the house. No really; I'm as shocked as you are. Brad does the martial arts zoom in and proclaims that he cannot let Kick beat him.
So we head to Kick on a skateboard on the street as we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BICYCLE ON SKATEBOARD EDITION~! And how desperate do you have to be to wear a pink helmet Brad? We head to the FPS shot of Mellowbrook Mall as everyone stops and there is a huge lineup at the store. Apparently this is procrastation Sunday at the store and there is tension in the air according to the announcer from Kickin Genes and this could get ugly. This is Kick Buttowski sir; we were already there in the first three minutes of Deadman's Drop. Did I just say...? Oh wait; never mind. So we cut to one of the workers with the megaphone telling everyone to remain calm. Don't hold your breath waiting for that to happen sir. Most so now that Kick is here to turn this episode into a total clustermuck. Kick proclaims that he might not make it in time and Brad blows it off because he will make it on time and he teleport to the shopping cart tunnel and pulls the shopping carts out. I've been to many supermarkets and never saw a shopping cart tunnel. I have seen shopping cart sheds where you put the money in to release the lock on the carts; but never an actual tunnel. If this happens in the USA; then this country is weird. So Brad knocks the crowd over and out of the episode like bowling pins. Yeah; good move Brad. You just cleared the way for Kick Buttowski to enter the store. I don't think that was in your business plan. Brad rushes into the store and the crowd piles up blocking the store before can get in. Okay; I see why he did it now. Kick ponders it over and notices a sign for Mellowbrook Farms which sells the eggs directly. So Kick goes into metaphors and then skateboards away as we zoom in on the sign....
...which is a nice segueway to the Mellowbrook farm and we head to the henhouse as Kick skateboards in and does the Scooby Doo Snow Angel Spot (UGH!) on the wall and steals the eggs from the hens who fly away in a frenzy. Whatever Kick. So Kick gets pecked by the mother hens (HA!); but Kick ramps off the henhouse through another hole he makes up on the backwall and goes over the fence to safety; almost dropping his farm eggs in the process. Kick recovers as he cuts an early worm promo and leans on a bull. HAHA! Didn't think your plan all the way through huh Mr. Buttowski?! So Kick jumps backwards over the skateboard and gets it allowing Kick's helmet to show the red stripe and the bull gets angry. If you are going to claim that this show is in the real world then show Kick's helmet bobbing and weaving like a cape if you are going to do that spot guys. It's NOT the color since bulls are color blind! Idiots! Needless to say; Kick's teeth chatter and he bails stage left.
It's the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE BULL EDITION as Kick rides on the skateboard again. So we hop and jump off the row of hogs and then balance on the wooden fence while the bull does the Krillin walk on walls spot from Dragon Ball Z. And then he collides with the fence pole and gets knocked down to the ground. Wait; he took the blow front on with the eggs in his arms. So logically; the eggs should splatter into a mess. Bad, bad logic break there guys. Kick looks around and breathes a sigh of relief; until we discover that he is sitting on top of the back of the bull. So the bull stampedes and Kick gets whacked in the mouth and breaks his teeth and somehow despite the eggs facing force that would splatter in real life; they somehow remain intact. We break through the fence as we return to the store as everyone stampedes like a bull is coming and Brad looks around and here comes Chip Green (Horace in case anyone complains) telling him he couldn't find anything but anchovy paste. Brad blows him off with the SCREAM OF DEATH because it's not orange eggs, toast, bacon nor eggs. And then we see 3D (Pantsy of course) informing Brad that the delivery truck is coming. Brad goes all Batman on us because he needs eggs. He looks like Bugs Bunny trying to fool us into thinking he's so strong. Now THAT's an EPIC FAIL!
So we return to Kick on the stampeding bull and he collides with the haystack and gets turned into a cube of hay with a pitchfork on top. Whatever let's return to the Mellowbrook Store as the crowd is out to pop Brad, Chip Green and 3D as they rock the smallest delivery truck ever. The worker on the megaphone wants everyone to calm down. The irony of all this is that everyone is acting with amazing restraint here; except maybe for Brad and his henchmen; but that is streching it. So Brad gets the truck to tip over and it opens and milk and eggs pelt onto the pavement and break. Yeah; we couldn't get the eggs Kick had to break on two obvious bumps; and yet this wussy bump cracks open the eggs easily. Why doesn't this surprise me?! To say nothing about me being appalled as a viewer. So everyone goes into the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST OF DOOM as Brad takes the only carton of eggs which doesn't have all the eggs broken and sezs it's good enough. So Brad goes into the store as the shelves are being emptied and Chip Green and 3D tell Brad that there is no orange juice. So Brad yells at them to think outside the carton. So we logically head into the orange grove (so Mellowbrook is in Florida?) as Kick grabs the pitchfork and kabobs some oranges on the tree in rapid fire. And then gets thrown off by the bull and slides on his back with the pitchfork pinching on his suit. At least the eggs couldn't have broke this time around.
So Kick gets up and backs away as the bull stalks him and breathes air into Kick's face. And then we get another FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST FIGHT OF DEATH and this goes on as the bull appears hogtied by...Gunther Magumson? Yeah right?! Did I mention he does this with the sun beaming on him? Kick is in awe by Gunther's growling. Personally; I'm in awe in how long it took before GUNTHER showed up here. He doesn't usually show up six minutes into an episode. Kick goes over as Gunther brings out a notepad and the bull is apparently for Helga. What did Mellowbrook Farm ever do to Kick and Gunther for them to vandalize and steal lifestock? He checks off steak and asks for some eggs; so Kick gives him three eggs and speeds off stage left. Okay; that was pretty classy of him as Gunther waves goodbye. You two will likely see each other again...in prison. So we cut back to Brad (and speaking of guys who might be in prison very soon) as he demands his orange juice and 3D brings him orange toothpaste which is not good enough as he squirts it into 3D's 3D glasses and 3D still oversells it. Riiiiigggghhhhhhtttt! Chip Green then notices near the Cheetah Chug display that the store worker is on top of the cases and has the last carton of orange juice. Everyone runs in as the store worker protests this outrage on the megaphone. Everyone climbs up as the store worker huddles at the top looking frightened and then everyone stops as Brad decides to bring out the...I cannot believe I'm typing this....the PRICING GUN OF DEATH...and he's not afraid to use it to get a free carton of orange juice.
So everyone gets shot by high price tags as everyone sells it like death. For once; I'm glad that they found a way to BS&P the spot and still make it look funny. Sadly; considering that there have been shootings inside a grocery store before; this spot is not so funny anymore. I take it back; it's actually quite offensive. But it does make Brad look like a nasty heel though. Brad climbs to the top as the worker thanks him for saving him as Brad offers to hold the juice for him. The worker then does the dumb move of selling it and of course Brad shoots him dead with the pricing gun. Called that one a minute before it happened; I should note. More shooting on the way down and we return to Kick uprooting roses with his skateboard. I'm guessing that he's in Mr. Vickie's backyard now. He grabs them all with the long arm of Kick (sadly; not the law) and we return to the store as we head to the Flowers section as we have our SEXIST GIRL OF THE DAY at the check out counter as Brad starts to do his usual sexism charm on her. And she falls for it and Brad steals the flowers and blows her off before bailing stage left. That blond is ANGRY! THE FEMINIST WORKRATE GODS ARE ANGRY TOO!
So we see Brad on his bicycle in the street coming home thinking that he has it made and he'll race up to #2 on the suck up list with Denise. In your dreams Brad; because Kick Buttowski is here as we go split screen on stopping. Sky shot and then we get the stand off on the section of Mellowbrook Road and Dillweed Drive. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The race starts and we are off on Dillweed Drive neck and neck. So we to see Kick and Brad making breakfest while riding on their wheels; including Brad somehow cooking eggs on a stove while bicycling. Yes folks; we have reached Fanboy & Chum Chum levels of illogical reasoning in this episode which is a really low point for this show. Brad tries to cover up claiming that the stove is battery powered; but I'm not fooled. Sadly; the swevere allows Kick to drink orange juice into his mouth and spit it back into the glass. EWWWW! GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY! I wish Denise would do that for the ending; but I doubt she will. Brad proclaims that Kick will fail again so Kick skateboards away and we head to Wade's car on the sidewalk as Wade starts the engines and cooks the eggs on the hood of said car. Oooookkkkkaaayyyyyy. Still makes more sense then Brad's cooking though. So Kick flips the eggs onto a plate and Wade wants one of the flowers; but Kick no sells since he's going double for Mother's Day. Wade doesn't get it as usual.
Brad bicycles past; so Kick rejoins the race as they taunt each other with the most banal responses I have ever heard as Kick looks teary eyed for some reason. We reach the house as they head into the house managing to get out of their wheels in mid-air and go up the stairs in a dead heat. Brad taunts Kick some more and then they both get stopped by...Harold?! Harold is surprised that they made two breakfasts for Mother's Day as Kick acts like a dishonest man while Brad acts like a vile honest man. Harold blows it off because they are both #2 behind him and both boys laugh their asses off. See what I mean by Kick being dishonest? Because if Kick really cared about celebrating Mother's Day; he wouldn't have laughed with Brad. I think you can guess that Harold served her breakfest first; or Brianna. One or the other; or both. Harold doesn't think it's funny because he's #1; and Brad blows it off because Brianna is #1 on the suck up chart with Denise. Harold disagrees because he's #1 and both boys laugh again much to the non-amusement of Harold.
Harold checks his coupons and realizes that they are all written to Denise's taking advantage of him (implying that she wasn't fooled by Harold's attempts to seduce her) and then steals the trays of breakfest. HAHA! I like that finish actually as we head inside Denise's room (I think) as we have a major league fight outside as the door slams open and the tray of stuff goes into the air; and Kick dives in and catches it all perfectly on the tray as the trio of male goofs all cheer for Mother's Day. And we then discover that Denise is NOT in the room. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The boys wonder where she went...and we head to a sidewalk cafe in Mellowbrook as Denise and Brianna are both sitting at a table enjoying a quiet breakfest together. HAHA! And she likes Brianna's cooking as Brianna winks and we toast to end the episode at 10:20 approx. Another silly clustermuck; with enough chaos and mayhem to be enjoyable and a really good ending. So we head back to outside the house as Brianna and Denise walk to the house making small talk with each other...and they walk inside and somehow teleport to the kitchen noticing that it's a complete mess. HAHA! Glad to see that the writers didn't forget that spot. Funny that Brianna never mentioned it to her until now huh? We cut back to an outside shot of the house as Denise yells for the boys and that is that. *** 1/2 (70%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; we got the whiplash effect off at least and ended up with two middling shorts. Rank of Awesome was the usual cluster muck with a really funny moment with Kendell having her cat cosplay Kick Buttowski and getting on #1 on the charts just to screw with Kick's mind after Kick blew her off for claiming that she didn't know anything about being awesome. And I did like the finish and ending in a sort of sadist manner. Although personally; I would love it more if Kick didn't have to steal from Phineas & Ferb to get it over. A Very Buttowski Mother's Day was also pretty good; silly logic breaks aside with the bull. Another silly cluster muck again; and some silly cameo appearances by Gunther and Harold; but they didn't do too badly. Brad with the pricing gun would have been a great parody scene; if real gun violence didn't exist in stores in America. I also love the finish with Denise screwing the boys so she could spend time with Brianna at the cafe; and I did like that they paid off the messy kitchen scene from earlier. So I don't see anything too bad with these two episodes and both made Gregory Weagle a happy ranter. And that's all that counts, right, RIGHT?!
So we are almost done season one of Kick Buttowski as we head to next weekend with Abandon Friendship and Braking The Grade as Kick and Gunther might stop being friends forever, and Kick wants to go to a demolition derby with his dad; as long as Dad doesn't see his failing report card first. Once that rant is done; that ends the 2011 season of ranting on the Rant Shack and it's the final rant I'm doing in the Angelfire era as I will be moving the Rant Shack of Thoughts to 50webs by December hopefully. So.....
Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you next time.
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