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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Abandon Friendship/Braking The Grade Rant

Reviewed: 11/05/2011

Braking For The End of Season One!

Well; now we can finish Season One of Kick Buttowski in style as there are only two episodes left. YAY! I mean that too. It's also the final rant of 2011 and of the Angelfire era. Our first short deals with the parents having enough of Kick's stunts; so they bar Kick and Gunther from seeing each other. Then from there we see Kick hiding his report card from Harold so he can see a demolition derby before showing him the failing grade he probably got. Well; let's rant on shall we...?!

Abandon Friendship is written by Nick Confalone and Derek Dressler. The storyboards are done by Phillip Mosness and direction is done by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. Braking The Grade is written and storyboards done by Scott O'Brien. The story is done by David Shayne and directed by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. What is this; a Fish Hooks episode disguising itself as Kick Buttowski? Actually; Milo as Kick would be far more likable than the real thing. As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.

Opening Moment #1: The title card of the day shows a set of angel like Buttowski dolls being cut in half. Sadly; the cut is at the hands instead of the head. Oh well....

Abandon Friendship: We begin this one at Kick's hideout as we see Kick and Gunther running at each other. Then running via split screen and then the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUDDUST FIGHT OF DEATH ensues. Huh?! Wediges, uniform change (logic break #1), and pillow bashing ensues. Why are they fighting and what is the point of this? Kick spits feathers and pulls down Gunther's pants to reveal his underwear. More clouddust fighting and Gunther and Kick go over the edge and into the toxic water which has return to it's lime green color. Kick pops up and we clearly see Gunther circling Kick undertoxic with a belly bomb and then Kick gets pulled under and then pops up again and Gunther spits toxic water into Kick's eyes which causes the power of suggestion to plop Kick onto the ground. Kick finds the conviently placed container of Cheese Whiz (speaking of toxic substances) and sprays it into Gunther's mouth. If they are trying to deadring the Giant Chicken Vs. Peter Griffin fight from Family Guy; it doesn't work. At least Peter and Ernie had a reason to fight (Ernie gave Peter an expired coupon and Ernie wants revenge for Peter nearly killing him in every fight they did.); and it would go on for half of this short's running time.

Gunther then grabs the container and sprays Cheese Whiz into Kick's suit! It fills up and the Gunther bashes the suit and cheese whiz sprays everywhere including on the camera since this show is so in your face; in case you didn't notice that already. Kick and Gunther are lying (both ways) on the ground. Kick asks Gunther why this had gone so bad; and then we go to the flashback as we have blood red version of the cul-de-sac with the title reading last week. Again; it doesn't work without a deadpan narrator. So we head to a sidewalk as Gunther is struggling to pull Kick's lawnchair on top of a skateboard with a rubber hose as a slingshot while Kick is sitting on said lawnchair. Kick is wearing goggles in case you didn't notice. Apparently; Kick is going to dive into an inflatable pool of chocolate pudding. I see the Boom McCondor poison has not left Kick's body completely. There is a conivently placed steering wheel as Gunther is slipping and Kick orders the release and Gunther releases BEFORE he hands Kick the steering wheel. Like that actually manners Gunther with Kick around?

Kick cuts his usual swear promo and bounces off the mailbox into the air (I see the Snowpocalypse physics have returned to this show) as we head to a front lawn as Harold, Denise, Mangus and Helga build a fountain with a brick bottom and then lay flowers on it. We zoom out to discover that there are lanterns hanging on the tree branches as Harold calls this a friendship fountain as Denise returns when they all met 20 years ago as we head to the flashback (what is this; Deafula?) as we see a disco dance from the 1980's as Denise, Harold, Magnus and Helga meet at the table pouring out punch. Magnus and Helga are still fat and Magnus is still wearing the viking helmet. Okay; I don't get the logic of this when Magnus in Battle For The Snax made it appear when he was talking about returning to the old country; as if he was in Mellowbrook recently (more like five years). I hope they explain this better; because this confuses me. So there is one last chicken wing and both Harold and Magnus instinctly go for it; but Magnus holds back and gives Harold the chicken wing. Harold eats it and then Magnus slaps him on the back asking for a name and naturally Harold is choking. Harold is wearing cross earring I should note as Magnus is clueless; but Helga notices him choking and gets him the Hemlich Move of Doom which causes the chicken wing to be spit out (and Harold was turning purple actually) as it flicks off Magnus' head and Magnus is knocked out. So Denise gives him mouth to mouth and he weakes up...despite no signs of actually not breathing. Everyone embraces as friends and Magnus and Helga want to dance. Okay; that was a pretty cute scene.

So we return to the original flashback reality (no, not really) as we continue to see Magnus embracing Harold. We actually hear the Magnumson's last name for the first time in the series that I can remember and they are friends forever and nothing can break them apart. And so Gunther runs in with the steering wheel yelling for Kick as Kick drops and destroys the friendship fountain. No really; I'm as SHOCKED as you are as the smoke dust cloud clears and the adults are wet and the kids are on their bellies. I betcha the friendship is over and both parents don't allow their kids to see each other right now. I check the video...The adults have a belly laugh about Kick being rebellous only when Gunther's around. The adults mock Kick and Gunther as Kick and Gunther are not sure about this and Magnus continues to mock Kick, but then Harold makes the fatal error of mocking Magnus. UH OH! That's a no-no Harold. That's right folks; Kick Buttowski destroys a friendship fountain and no one is angry; but Harold makes one really lame accurate satire of Magnus and Magnus is PISSED OFF. Yeap; they now officially hate each other. This is tres stupid! At least Kick can take solace that it was all HAROLD's fault. Now do you understand why people don't like the new Disney? And as I predicted; Gunther and Kick are separated and banned from seeing each other ever again. Damn; I'm so good.

So we scene change to a moonlight spot AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as we pan down to see Kick watching from his side of the fence and the he climbs the fence and hides in the trees. He practices the fine art of not being seen as we head to a shot of the window as Kick throws leaves at the window whispering for Gunther and Gunther no sells twice. So Kick yells and throws a rock at the window shattering it. That makes Gunther sell as Gunther tells him he cannot come down because Kick is a bad influnce. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Kick claims that they are still friends; so let's hit the MONTAGE~! And no surprise; neither Harold nor Magnus want their kids to see each other. Eye contact violence ensues along with horn blowing to get rid of Kick. Personally; I find Magnus' methods of booting Kick out to be more creative, even if they require the power of suggestion. So we get Denise looking at a beach photo of the adult friends and Denise cuts the photo in half while we see Kick talking on the phone to the "pizza man" and Denise cuts the phone line. Geez Denise; I get that you are not friends anymore; but now you need to buy a new phone dammit! We see that the "pizza man" is Gunther on a payphone in the park.

Then we get more montages as Kick and Gunther get better with the communcation using papers and stunts. Sadly; Gunther crashes into the house. Let me just say that this is just only going to make things worse for his family when the lawsuit comes. So we go to the exact same shot they used to being this montage as we see Kick and Gunther at the window and the window is still shattered. So Magnus didn't notice it?! And I thought Harold was dense?! Anyhow; Gunther claims that this is not working and Kick proclaims that they are still friends and the spotlight is on as apparently; Magnus has an OUT OF NOWHERE prison gate on retainer. Oy vey. So Kick and Gunther agree that this the end of their friendship; but Gunther whines because he doesn't have the good looks. Huh? Since when did that happen fatass?! Kick bails dodging the axe and there are guard dogs; but we never see them. So we head to the Battlesnax in the morning as we see Gunther at the table talking to Mouth (Christopher in case you didn't notice.) as he asks what is Mouth's favorite past times and Mouth claims that he likes scheming (or skiing) and likes to play shuffleboard. Well; at least he's honest about the first part. Gunther ponders it over and asks about Deadman's Drop and in comes Kick blowing him off. Ah; so I see the point of them fighting in the first scene. Jealousy much there Kick? Jealous that Mouth is better than you? Well; he is better than you...and if you fans think Kick is hot; then you're probably unlikable too. I seriously hope Trevor DuBoris gets his face as a Maynard's candy too.

Gunther tries to explain to him that the Buttowski's are banned from the Battlesnax. I know this because the sign above states "No If's And's Or Buttowskis! (with towskis written in red letters and the T overcoming the the last s.) Anyhow; Kick claiming that he was trying to be friends with Gunther; but Kick's crediablitiy is shot because here comes Jackie The Stalker Wackerman with the skateboard. Oh goody! If she doesn't go insane on Kick; then these writers are morons. Jackie going insane on Kick is HOT BABEE! So Gunther blows Kick off and Mouth has had enough and walks away to play shuffleboard calling this boring. Oh screw you Mouth; Jackie going insane on Kick is not boring. Get over yourself. So we get the Wuzzle clock scene changer and see Kick and Jackie on the top of Deadman's Drop. Funny; I thought she wanted Kick to conquer Widowmaker's Peak. Okay; he techinically did; but whatever. I shouldn't expect Jackie to have the foresight to notice details like that. So Kick shows Jackie a pair of roller skates which the boots are clearly too old for this show. Jackie is so overwhelmed by this that she faints dead away. HA! Kick can only BE so lucky eh? Kick claims that he is supposed to say that she is not sure about this and Jackie rises like an undead zombie and accuses Kick of making her into a replacement of Gunther. Kick tries to talk; but Jackie decides to dress like Gunther. HAHA! Gunther can BE JEALOUS! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....

Kick is not amused; but I sure as hell am. Jackie even remembered the wooden shoes! Sadly; she didn't have the foresight to wear socks like Gunther does. So we scene change as Gunther knocks on a door as shows Kendell who has opened the door his bag of pork rinds. I know this because the yellow bag has a pig on the front. Kendell predictabilty slams the door and Gunther simply pours the rinds on the step which looks like blood pouring. Whatever Gunther. So we return to Kick watching television of a Billy Stumps Monster Truck Rally as Kick is excited and he has made a dummy of Gunther with a flour face and potato arms holding a bag of mega chips. The dummy no sells; so Kick steals the chips and the head comes off showing a body made of potatoes. So we head back to Deadman's Drop as Gunther has brainwashed Emo Kid into wearing a helmet and skateboarding. Gunther cuts his usual lame promo to introduce him and Emo Kid shrugs it off as Gunther calls him This Guy and pushes him down the hill and Emo Kid gets MURDERED again as in every scene with him in it. At least no dodgeballs were a rock bonking to the head on the telescope shot from Kick will have to do. Kick proclaims that he is not easily replaced and calls for his new buddy as he walks away. We discover on the zoom out shot that it's Oskar the Dressed Up Dog guessed it.

So we cut to Gunther as Emo Kid is loaded up on a strecher and into the conviently placed ambulance as Gunther asks the techician if he can be his new best friend; but the techie shuts the back doors and the ambulance drives away. So we basically repeat the exact same stunt we saw in the beginning with Kick; only Oskar is doing the pulling and of course he forgets the steering wheel. Kick flies into the air and lands belly first onto the hideout. Kick gets up and walks to the toxic water asking why can't he tell Gunther he misses him and the reflection gleefully sums it up for him. HAHA! And then we see Gunther climbing up the side and both kids notice each other and make small talk. And then they start to argue as Gunther blames Kick for not getting the steering wheel in the first place and Kick blames Gunther for being lousy and then Gunther proclaims that Kick is the worst daredevil ever. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Work; shoot, who cares? As long as Kick is told off on television eh? Kit Cloudkicker must have tears of joy hearing that one. Kick turns around and he looks pissed as Gunther repeats it; only much slower this time. And I believe this is the point where we return to the beginning of the first scene of this episode as THE FIGHT IS ON BABEE! Only it looks like a Benny Hill scene.

Okay; so let's return to the spot where Kick asks Gunther how it went so bad as Gunther tastes his hand of cheese whiz and calls it rancid. Kick stammers like an idiot as his reflection gets on his case and Kick finally states that he misses his best friend...and Gunther instantly forgives him and brings out the out of nowhere electric guitar to express himself. And then Papercut Peterson walks in and steals the guitar back and blows Gunther off for stealing. HAHA! About time someone made a magical object make sense. And he calls Gunther a little girl. Remember that for Garage Banned by the way. Anyhow; Kick proclaims that they don't need songs to be friends because they are friends no matter what. Gunther is disappointed though since he spent money on backup dancer. Riiiigggghhhtttt Gunther. Gunther and Kick agree that if their friendship is to be restored; then they need to have their parents make up. Here's a clue: Kick should tell Harold to apologize for insulting Magnus since HAROLD'S the one who started this nightmare. We get the let's do this (and it still sounds worse than Luicen's) and we jackhammer the handshake of doom. So we head to the cul-de-sac AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as they run in opposite directions and Kick and Gunther knock on doors and ring doorbells before they bail. Gunther remembers to do a faceplant on the door step beforehand as Magnus, Harold, Helga and Denise all open the doors and walk out.

Magnus remember to scream before walking out to the middle of the cul-de-sac and we get the showdown of doom. So Kick turns on the conviently placed tape recorder (at least here it's apporos since they supposely met in the 1980's) as Gunther turns on the spotlights and the disco ball is hanging. Harold has no idea what to make of this as Gunther pushes the table of punch and chicken wings in. Denise realizes that this looks familar as we cut to Kick and Gunther doing the same freakin stunt again. Kick thanks Gunther for this and Gunther hopes to never make a mistake like that again. And then Gunther slips and both goofs go flying into the air and hit the mailbox on the way up as the sparkles fly (!!!) and the adults are in awe as the adults both praise Kick and Gunther for this and they all apologize for being such jerks. They all embrace and become friends forever again and of course Kick and Gunther freefall down and destroy the table and the punch of course just because they are reckless, carefree idiots. On the other hand; it did prevent Harold from choking on chicken wings again as everyone is all wet and the adults laugh. Kick and Gunther laugh and Gunther doesn't get it as usual which ends the episode at 10:40 approx. Surprisely good short even though they had to make Harold look really stupid in order for it to work. *** 3/4 (75%).

Opening Moment #2: The title card is a reverse version of the final shot of the opening. That is the dumbest recycling ever for this series.

Braking The Grade: We begin this one with a shot of an arena as two old cars crash into each other. That's right; my final episode of season one (for rant purposes) starts off with a demolition derby. And lots of Friday jackhammering...and we head to the cafetra as Kick and Gunther are eating lunch and Kick proclaims that it's Friday. Like the promo jackhammering didn't give that one away. Gunther still thinks it's meatloaf day and Kick admits that it is. Yes folks; they repeated the joke from Father From The Truth just to annoy me. Kick proclaims that it's the Mellowbrook Demolition Derby which is jackhammered with a good explosion background this time. We see cars crashing into a brick wall; an elephant squashing a car and a construction crew invoking the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT on a car. And the first 100 people get to keep a part of the demolished cars to as someone is biting into it. UGH! We discover that the arena where Stumped took place is called the Mellowbrook Fine Arts Arena. Yeah. We do another explosion and the announcer wants me to be there. No thanks; I'll pass.

So we return to reality (no, not really) as Kick does the double devil's pose as Kendell arrives with her food as Gunther talks with his mouth full. Kendell agrees that this is the best day ever; because it's report card day and walks away. Kick does not like this at all. Gunther isn't so sure about this as Kick tells him to relax because he does well in class as we flashback to various books being used to prop up his stunts. And the science book is on the moon for goodness knows what reason. We return to reality (no, not really) as Kick ponders over this and has a Krackpotkin plan to make sure Harold doesn't see the report card. Yeah; he's scheming to decieve his old man into not seeing his report card before KICK SEES the report card. That gives away the finish and ending well in advance. Gunther screams because Kick might blind Harold. HA! I doubt he needs to do that. We all know Harold is too dense to notice ANYTHING. Kick proclaims that he needs to get that report card, and so we cut to an office as Kick opens a ceiling title and we play Mission Impossible again from If Books Could Kill. Oh joy! NOT! So Kick wants Gunther to lower Kick 8.2 feet; but Kick faceplants anyway since it's 8.3 feet according to Gunther. HAHA! Kick doesn't care anyway and proclaims that the derby is worth it. Yeah; stealing the mail is so worth it Kick. Even Gunther thinks it's a federal offense. Considering that these two have vandlize and stolen property, assaulted denizens of Mellowbrook, and broke into a dog pound just to name four offenses; I think we are well past the point of asking that question Gunther Magumnson.

So we hear someone coming according to Gunther and Kick hides behind the desk as a post man enters and drops a big ass package right on Kick's hands. HAHA! And we get the funniest reaction from a new Disney character ever complete with teeth chattering. HAHA! Nice to see Kick finally getting Skydivers out of his system as the postman grabs the reports card from the out dish and walks out. We even get a closeup of Kick Buttowski's letter in the carrier for added effect. So Kick pulls the rope (effectively he stopped selling his injuries) as Gunther pulls him up and Kick opts for plan b. Gunther asks what is plan b and Kick wants to do another choppy zoom in as we are going to assault...ERRR...I mean catch a postman. Gunther likes it since they used to do that at camp. So we go to the scene changer as the mailman is running away from someone. I have 2:1 odds that it's Oskar the Dressed Up Dog or Kick Buttowski. It's the later as Kick and Gunther chase him (so they added skipping school too I see) and...Oh wait; it's both actually. Gunther wants Kick to be honest with dad and Kick blows it off because he wants the shard of glass jackhammered on the split screen. So we get a long shot of Kick on his skateboard riding on the top of the brick wall as the postman puts letters into mailboxes and then we end with him giving the mail to Denise who is conviently walking outside to the box. So Denise walks back up, Gunther bails off the skateboard and Kick crashes into the pole of the mailbox and it didn't give an inch. OUCH! That pole is tougher than Steve Williams. Which one? Does it matter?

So we scene change to a door as Gunther and Kick slowly open it ajar and Kick proclaims that it will be tougher than he thought it would be. Kick finally see the letter on the table and Kick grabs it easily. Gunther sums up the pointless dialog Kick just spoke there. Kick states that he will hide the letter after the derby and then be too densenitized in awesomeness. I think psychologists should stop studying the effects of violence on the rational side of the brain and study weither awesomeness negatively effects the rational side of the brain. Or maybe not. Gunther likes it as we circle fade to Kick and it's a telescope shot on the stairs as Brad is spying on them. So Brad walks down the stairs and grabs Kick and forces him upstairs claiming that he's hear to "help" Kick hide his report card from his old man. Gunther gleefully calls this a happy ending and walks off. Brad forces Kick into the bedroom and it's clearly his bedroom as he offers the ultimate hiding place : Which so happens to be a hamper full of flies and stinky gas. Geez; what a shock that is? This does not make sense at all. Kick invokes the Gruffi pose and then we see the reason for it as Brad dumps the stinky hartmper over Kick's head and then starts lifting dumbbells. Okay; I like that spot. He stuffs the dumbbell on him along with his stinky clothes and then laughs like a heel. Brad calls this a proper burial. HAHA! And then bails out to call mother accusing him for hiding his report card from Denise.

So Kick topples over and Brad makes one fatal error here. Why not....steal the report card and give it to Denise? That would make that last scene make sense. Oh wait; he actually did as Denise is on the telephone again in the kitchen and Brad slips and falls on his back. HAHA! Denise blows him off because she's on the phone. I feel for her; I get that problem several times per month at Reboot. Brad tries to explain it to her; but Denise doesn't want to hear it and continues to talk. And Harold has come home yelling like a Fred Flintstone. Only a lot more dense than Fred. Brad has some EVIL intentions as he walks out and we see Harold putting his stuff at his desk and sits down in his green chair. So Brad runs in and explains that Kick was hiding the report card from him. Now; a sensible parent would thank Brad and take the mail and open the report card to see why Kick would be hiding the report card. However; this is the new Disney and we have six minutes left, so I sense Harold will just ignore him...and damn it to hell if I'm not right as Harold was trying out white earphones. So Brad tries again and somehow gets stuffed with a pair of underwear in his mouth. Okay; that makes no sense since the underwear was thrown from BEHIND Brad and would have hit the back of his head. And here comes Kick with socks and underwear on his body. Harold wants to know why he's filled; and then notices that Brad is turning green from eating the logic breaking underwear. Yeah; I agree Brad, that last spot made me sick too. Albeit for different reasons.

Brad tries to explain again; but Kick headbutts him from behind. Oh yeah; be like a heel, that'll get you over Kick. NOT! Harold should just grab the letter now; but he's too dense to notice as usual. Kick and Brad tumble outside as the letter lands on his desk. Harold blows them off for fighting in his mail reading room and slams the door shut. Kick is on bottom as I like him to be as Brad throws Kick away; but Kick slingshots off the clothesline and Brad misses with the broom clothesline on the rebounds. Huh? Kick throws Brad away and Brad slingshots off the clothesline and Brad thinks he has him MURDERED. He would; if Gunther didn't appear OUT OF NOWHERE and stuff him into the trashcan he was carrying. Geez; I thought Gunther had written himself out of the episode? Gunther puts the lid on and sits on it as Gunther will run interference while Kick gets the letter. However; Harold yells at Kick to get inside...and we finally get the tease as Kick looks guilty as hell as Harold claims that there is no excuse..........for the high water bill. It's forty cents higher than usual and he asks if he did any water related stunts. Kick stammers and we flashback to Kick flooding the house while surfing on a sink. The water splashes in our face again as we return to reality (no, not really) and Kick claims that he didn't. Somehow I think that is a bald face lie. Then again; I don't know what ticks in that kid's mind anyway. Harold decides that Kick is innocent after all and believe it's Denise's toilet flushing skills. I know this because she flushes the toilet in the background. Harold proclaims that he wants to give Denise a lecture and then slides Kick out of the mail reading room because he has more mail to read BEFORE the demolition derby.

Kick is stunned as Harold goes back into the house and sits down at his desk. He shuffles the letters and the first letter is the report card one. We get horror noises as Harold picks up the report card letter and is about to open it slowly with wiggle finger as Kick is horrified. I agree with him; Harold's wiggle finger spot is horrible. HORRIBLE! He tries to rip the letter open; but the lights go out. Harold is not happy about that and walks away to turn back the lights on as Kick sneaks in onto the desk and searches for the letter but cannot see it in the pitch black darkness. Here's where cartoon lighting helps because in real life; the house would NOT be pitch black in the afternoon. Idiots! Thankfully; the lights turn back on and Kick bounces off the light fixture and hides behind the desk as Harold returns entering from the same door Kick went through. Huh? Kick is under the desk as Harold sits down in his chair and wants to get this party started. He then streches so much that he kicks Kick right in the face. HAHA! Sadly; the jackhammering of the Face Kick was not funny and it hurts badly. So we are back to where we started. So Harold opens the first letter and it contains a swarm of bees. WHAT THE HELL?! Harold hates it as much as I do as the bees swarm Kick and we jackhammer the bee attack again. I see the writers are still a bunch of morons projecting on children again.

So Harold opens letter #2 and it filled with ferrets. Okay; now the writers are Spongebob Tricking the episode and it's time to mercy kill it. guessed it. Called it ten seconds before it happened I should note. What is wrong with Harold streching and kicking Kick in the face multiple times while opening NORMAL letters guys?! That makes sense. This makes no sense because it's random humor and it's a cheap copout. He then opens a parcel which the post man never gave the Denise (logic break #whatever; I stopped counting at this point) and we have piranhas. Well; that makes more sense than the first two at least and guessed it. So Kick finds a piece of paper which magically appears out of nowhere and writes it and the animals all disappear when he does it. Oy vey guys. Kick makes a paper airplane and it somehow flies out of the mail reading room and pokes Gunther right in the face; but misses the eye by six inches. Sigh.

Gunther is still on the trashcan which has somehow moved to the edge of the wooden fence. Gunther reads the letter and he gets it. So Gunther bails as Brad lifts the trashcan lid; but Gunther returns and throws bricks onto the lid before bailing again. Brad struggles inside; but no dice as we return to the desk as Harold is giddy as he is onto the report card again as he reads the front and Kick shakes like a teeth chattering leaf. Harold is about to open it; but the doorbell rings. Huh? In the last episode; there WAS no doorbell. IDIOTS! Harold runs to answer the door as Kick pops up and grabs the letter away. So Harold opens the door and looks down to see Gunther in a postman's suit...and he notices right away. Harold demands to know how he got the uniform and if you cannot guess where he stole it from; you have no business reading this rant. And of course the postman is only in his underwear delivering a package to Mr. Vickie. I'm shocked and appalled by this use of stripes on underwear. The postman is NOT a prisoner! Mr. Vickie shuts the door and we return to Gunther as he bails stage left; but the airplane goes flying and Harold grabs it and reads it. And Kick is about to sneak out of the house and Harold grabs the letter on the rebound. POINK! HA! About time Harold stopped being so dense.

So we see Harold proclaiming that he's about to open the letter and rips it as Kick panics like mad. Kick steals the letter and Kick doesn't want the old man to open it. Harold asks why not and Kick lies that he has a letter opener. Here's a word of advice Harold: If Kick is saying it slowly; it means he's lying through his teeth. Harold wants to see it and Kick hides the letter behind his back and states that he's saving it after the derby. Advice #2: If a demolition derby is involved; Kick's lying too. Harold calls it a tease as we scene change to Gunther in regular clothes walking to the trashcan and somehow; Brad tipped the trash can over and it's opened and there's no Brad. Gunther screams to Kick which Kick hears near the door and here comes Brad opening the door and tries to grab Kick. Kick bails and we run up the stairs for the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE FAILING REPORT CARD EDITION~! So Kick hides in his room and barricades the door with everything he owns. Kick breathes a sigh of relief; but Brad somehow teleports into his room and steals the letter from the open window with the ladder. I've given up on where Kick's room is now. He uses his teeth to hold the letter and Gunther grabs the ladder and Brad sways from side to side. We play try to grab the letter for a while before Gunther slips and Brad crashes into the window allowing Kick to grab the letter. Brad; however counters by swaying the ladder to the middle and we have a stalemate.

So Brad tries to punch Kick; but misses. Kick counters by kicking him in the face complete with impact star jackhammer explosion background. Sadly; the blow wasn't covered and shown for all to see. Brad's tongue is hanging from his mouth as he recovers and grabs the letter. We play tug-of-war for a while as Kick grabs the letter and undoes Brad's belt to drop his pants down. Then we spin the ladder around and Kick pratfalls on his face on the ground as Brad hangs on for dear life. That was cute at least as Kick holds up the ladder and then a blue bird flies out of nowhere and steals the letter from Kick. HAHA! The bird flies into the tree as Kick gets up and climbs up the tree like a squirrel. Brad is on the ground seeing stars and then recovers. Brad climbs up the opposite tree; which must be a pain since he had to climb a wooden fence since the tree he's climbing is on the opposite side of the fence Kick's tree is. So we cut to the bird on the branch as Kick is slowly stalking it. Oh the irony! So the blue bird screws him by flying to Brad's tree. HAHA! IN YOUR FACE KICK BUTTOWSKI! Brad climbs up to the branch and kneels to try to grab the letter. However; the tree branch breaks right on cue. Brad freefalls (with anime background) and his underwear hangs on the branch and Brad is wedigeized. Kick jumps and grabs the letter from the bird who then flies away stage left. Kick thinks he's won (and showing a glorified shot of his bare ass to boot due to the Spongebob Trick spots earlier), but Kick has just been WARNERED~!

So Kick freefalls complete with biscuits and MURDERS the wooden fence with great fury. Apparently those wooden fence are as sharp as barb wire too judging by the sparkles. Whomever installed this is a sadist. Kick is entombed in wooden boards as his arm pops up and Kick thinks it's over. Which allows Harold to walk in and take the letter away right on cue. HAHA! You know what Kick Buttowski! Harold realizes that this is his report card (Huh; it's already opened? But the letter is still showing? Ack...!) Harold asks why Kick hid the report card on him and Kick proclaims that he hid it so Harold would still take him to the derby. Harold then shows that.....BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I called that finish 10 minutes before it started. Memo to kids: If you are already scheming against your dad to hide a report card in the cartoon world; there is a high chance that your grades have improved across the board and you look like a complete jackass and an idiot on top of it.

Kick is stunned as we head to the Mellowbrook Demolition Derby as the Mellowbrook Fine Arts Arena as Harold is loving it and so is the crowd as we don't see the cars crashing; but we see the light explosions. Harold has popcorn and Kick is in a bodycast and a neck brace. Kick cannot even move as the announcer is loving this destruction as cars crash like crazy. Harold is absolutely enjoying himself; but Kick isn't. HAHA! Sorry Kick; you brought this on yourself. Oh; and a battleship gets involved of course. The announcer is a bald headed guy with a brown mustache, goatee, fat and wearing brown suit, green tie and orange headphones. Kick barely gets his new glass shard and Harold steals it thinking that it's a letter opener. HAHA! Kick curses which Harold blows off as since he messed with the mail; he's grounded when they get home, just to rub it in to Kick. HAHA! Kick curses again and that ends the episode and Season one at 10:40 approx. Predictable; but still a fun clustermuck with a fitting ending to it. Never mess with Harold's mail! Or his new letter opener. So our final shot of season one has Brad still on a branch with a wedgie AFTER HAPPY HOUR as he calls for his family as the wolves howl and we zoom out. No dice is coming for him. Brad states his name and that is officially that. *** (60%).


Well; season one ends on a middling note. Abandon Friendship was actually very well written; had some decent pathos (although trying to do pathos in Kick Buttowski is silly because kids don't give a crap about pathos anyway; or so I heard..); and they built up the fight, the finish and the ending rather well for a new Disney cartoon. The real issue I had was that this all started over Harold doing a petty; accurate insult on Magnus. I know that Magnus is thin skinned to begin with (I mean he yells half of his sentences); but this is stupid and it was only done to take the heat off Kick Buttowski who destroyed the friendship fountain. I would have booked it to Magnus yelling at Kick first for destroying the fountain and Harold defending his son from the accusation and then insulting him for being such a loud mouth. Instead; they belly laughed it off and it hurt the ending sequence quite a bit. Otherwise; this was a really good episode and a surprise to me because I was expecting a nonsense cluster muck and ended up with a well written episode.

Braking The Grade was all right; but it was predictable as hell as we all knew that Kick was going to go to the derby since he never saw the actual report card in the first place and therefore the only finish that made sense was Harold discovering that Kick's grades were good enough to go. Still; the cluster muck was great; although I could do without the stupid “Put animals into letters” spot that feels like a random Spongebob Trick more than anything else. Brad was fine and the ending was very fitting as Kick wasted all this and got hurt so badly that he not only didn't see most of the derby, and lost his demolition shard; he also got grounded for messing with Harold's mail. If anything, Kick got exactly what he deserved for trying to dupe the old man and gave Harold some of the smartest moments in this entire series.

So my friends; that is officially that for Season One of Kick Buttowski and the end of rants for 2011 and the Angelfire era is officially over. I got to admit; Kick Buttowski grew on me and most of the cast (sans Kick himself) was in fact quite good. As I said before in the original Review Line:

However; I think this show just how clouded judgments can be when they are forced to actually WATCH the show and it turns out to be half decent instead of downright crappy. That's not to say that all shows are good; in fact most are still terrible. However; as I saw with this show, this show is somewhat different once you actually watch it. Some of the bad elements that were claimed are justified; but it's not 100% terrible. And let's not forget that everyone had a love in with Rescue Rangers; yet when you actually watch the show; the show's bad elements show up (Aussie Stereotype, Wang Films Animation, Gadget more persona non-grata than expected, did I mention Monty?) and those good memories aren't so good.

So I can understand why some fans hated Maxie Zeus' review. I think Maxie Zeus got dealt a bad hand since three of the four shorts he saw were among the worst of the series and the burden was on DISNEY to prove that the series didn't suck; not Maxie Zeus and so Maxie Zeus wrote it off. To blame Maxie for writing such a negative review is a huge mistake because that shifts the burden to the viewer (who is a customer; although considering the lifestyle of video game reviewers, I'm not so sure about them) when it's DISNEY's burden to convince Maxie otherwise. Disney produced the show; not Maxie Zeus. Now you can blast Maxie Zeus for the comment on DTVA checking the corpse of Walt Disney since that comment was uncalled for; but the rest of the review was dead on for the shorts that he reviewed. The review also did nothing to ruin the short as the ratings were good by Disney XD standards and it is getting a second season. So all in all; it served it's purpose.

Now if Kick can get past the Johnny Test syndrome forever; he can be a star otherwise, Kick Buttowski will be nothing more than a plucky little series that will be overshadowed by better emoting and more interesting Fish Hooks series. Kind of like TaleSpin was overshadowed by Ducktales and Rescue Rangers, although that was more due to Disney's refusal to put the series over as "We are Disney" and focused on bashing Bugs Bunny just because Disney couldn't get true comedy series over and Michael Eisner wanted to be "We are Warner Brothers". Take one guess how that went.

To add to this; Kick Buttowski in my view didn't click until Obsession For Kick when Jackie The Stalker Whackerman showed up. Before I saw the episode; I thought Disney was just asking for bad press for this episode; but in the end of the day Jackie turned into the best character in the entire series. In fact Jackie carried a ***** episode which no one outside of Kit Cloudkicker could do; let alone anyone in the new Disney. Some came close; but Jackie did it along with Kit. These two would make a fine pair since they are both crazy (and have a method to their madness to boot.). Everything in this series got better after Obsession For Kick; with the possible exception of Mrs. Chickerelli. And even then; there were negative star and bad episodes such as Mellowbrook Drift, Things That Go Boom, Tattler's Tale, Wade Against The Machine, Exposed and Box Office Blitz. So the final count goes like this: five thumbs up, 19 thumbs in the middle and 16 thumbs down. The show had ten straight thumbs down; so you get the picture on the horrible start this show had.

So now that season one is over and personally; I cannot believe I got so much work done in the one year span that I had (finishing TaleSpin, all of the remaining Gummi Bear episodes, Fish Hooks and Kick Buttowski Season one). Despite this; there is 2012 to consider. I'll be doing season two of Kick Buttowski (although I have four episodes done already), season two of Fish Hooks (started last night actually), and for the classics it's Ducktales, Darkwing Duck, Goofy in Soccermania for the Father's Day specials and finally Easter Sadism which will be either three more episodes of Quack Pack; or I'll be doing Fanboy & Chum Chum again. I should also point out that this is the final rant to be written on the Angelfire website as I'm finally moving the Rant Shack to 50Webs. I have not worked out the details on what to do with the web pages; but I should have a plan on my Livejournal tomorrow or on Tuesday. I'm starting the big move on November 11th and then work from there. There is a lot of work to do between now and 2012 as I need to edit every single rant, put them on 50webs and then I have prep work on at least six different productions. Seven if you include Fanboy & Chum Chum. On the other hand; prep work takes a couple of days at the most so if I get everything done before Christmas, I might work on the holiday episodes of Kick Buttowski and Fish Hooks (including the two Kick Buttowski Halloween episodes I missed). Either way; I would like to say to Angelfire: Thanks for the memories. So.....

Thumbs in the middle pointing up for Abandon Friendship and thumbs in the middle for Braking The Grade and I'll see you in 2012 with Season 2 of Kick Buttowski, Fish Hooks, Ducktales and DARKWING ....DUCK!


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