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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Dancing With The Enemy/Tattler's Tale Rant

Reviewed: 09/13/2011

Dancing With The Awesomeness of Widowmaker's Peak!

Well folks; I almost got what I wanted to do rant wise and if anything I must say that I am looking forward to seeing this edition of Kick Buttowski; if only for the first short. So our first short features Kick Buttowski faced with a grave challenge: Dancing to earn a passing grade and he must do it with Kendell the bland valley girl. Oh and Gunther has to dance to his doom with Jackie The Stalker Wackerman. Oh this is going to be fun to mock.... And in our next short Miss Chicarelli is on the rampage to make sure no kid is left unpunished. This is my kind of short. So does she succeed? So let's rant on shall we....?

Dancing With The Enemy is written by Nick Confalone. The storyboards are done by Robb Pratt and Troy Adomitis. It's directed by Chris Savino and Sherm Cohen. Tattler's Tale is written by Mitch Larson and the story is done by Scott Sonneborn. The storyboard was done by Clay Morrow and directed by Chris Savino. Scott  has one of the more interesting resume you will ever see starting with Pop Up Video in 1996 (!!); then it's Beavis & Butthead, Undergrads, Naughty Amatuer Home Videos, Skunk Fu!, Storm Hawks and Legion of Super Heroes. Believe it or not; Teamo Stupidito ERRR I mean Teamo Supremo is his DTVA debut. He has 21 credits to his resume including two story producer credits. Voltron Force, Generator Rex and G.I. Joe Renegades are his most recent credits. As for the animation studio; it's all done on Flash. My opinion on Flash: It works like all mediums. If the talent sucks; then the product is going to suck. Tools don't matter.

Opening Moment #1: Our title card features black shoe prints indicating dance moves on a blood red background. So this is the BLOODY DANCE OF DOOM and THAT'S RACIST~!

Dancing With The Enemy: WWe begin this one at Mellowbrook School as we head to the gym and see a lady gym teacher pacing around in her green shorts. Ah; I see the stereotype of having a fat gym teacher as a form of irony is still alive and well in the new Disney. Emo kid is praying that it doesn't involve dodgeball and Kick is such a sadist because he wants dodgeball. The teacher is about to announce the new activity and Kick grabs the OUT OF NOWHERE dodgeball and MURDERS Emo Kid with it. OUCH! That is going to leave a mark. On the dodgeball. Gym teacher wishes it were dodgeball; but the school nurse has that "ban any sport that might cause injuries" bug and wants them to....rap?! So we cut to the door and in comes Mr. Vickie in a green track suit and blue hat. He's wearing a gold coin on his shirt. Well; compared to Kick; Mr. Vickie does have better street cred as a feminine rap ARTEASE~! Jaws drop from the students as Mr. Vickie spins off his head. I think the school nurse needs to study on injuries in dance methinks. Just because Mr. Vickie has no nerves in his skull; doesn't mean kids have none either. Mr. Vickie calls this dance appreaction and Kick does not like it at all. Which means this is AWESOME in my view. Kick tries to get out through the same door Mr. Vickie was in and somehow it's locked. Wow; dance does have the power to lock Kick in and take his own medicine. This is going to be fun; I just know it.

So Mr. Vickie peels him from the door and slides Kick in telling him to choose a partner. There is lots of dancers to choose from and of course that leads to Kick facing....wait for it...Jackie The Stalker Whackerman. Oh goody! Please go insane on either Kick or Guntherm that's all I ask of you. Kick calls him regular Jackie and I say: What is the difference between Whacky Jackie and Regular Jackie. Other than being a lot more nervous. Jackie is talking at a hundred miles a hour as usual but has such panche that it doesn't matter as Kick peels Jackie off and asks what are the odds. In this show; ummmm; 1:1. So Kick holds her hand and gives it to Gunther because they are two star crossed lovers. Nice to see that Kick remembers For The Love Of Gunther. Jackie isn't amused for some reason..Oh wait; because Kick sees that everyone has been paired up and he's weaseling his way out of dancing. Oh Kick; you can dance solo you know which would make the whole upcoming device of failing if he doesn't do the dancing more worthwhile. But of course; the writers believe that Kendell/Kick is MONEY (except it's opposite of in this case) and of course that is what happens as Mr. Vickie calls him out; checks for partners and of course Kendell is the only one left. Wide screen martial arts zoom in's ensue and they are paired off just to annoy everyone who wanted to see Kick and Jackie dance to their dooms. Okay; just's Kick's doom. Kendell admits that she has had a few run in's with Clarence (Kick's real name by the way)....

...and we head to the flashback as Kendell is at the sidewalk doing a lemonade stand. Do Kendell and Brianna exchange notes on making money on the side? If so; then Brianna clearly forgot to tell what happened in Kick The Habit and of course Kick MURDERS the lemonade stand with his skateboard. So Kick is also familiar as apparently; the lemonade stand was only a clever ruse by Kendell as Kick skateboards off the ramp towards the trampoline; but Kendell kicks it away and sets up a lemonade stand and Kick MURDERS it and bounces on the sidewalk. Okay; now THAT is funny! Mr. Vickie puts their hands together and doesn't want them to be shy and the smoke is coming off and Mr. Vickie calls it a salsa duet. Jackie is PISSED off as he MURDERS Gunther's hand. That's even funnier as Gunther actually sells it! Jackie snarls as she drags Gunther away. I see Jackie has figured out For The Love of Gunther was a scam on Kick's part to get rid of her.

Gunther pleads for help and he's getting none as Mr. Vickie explains DA RULES (FAIRY GODPARENTS!) while Kick takes his hand away because he's got the Huey Duck COOTIES OF SEXISM bug infecting him. Mr. Vickie explains that the duos will perform their own dance number in a dance off. Kendell and Kick continue to blow each other off and refuse to dance each other. If you listen closely; you can hear Jackie loving this (because she'll regain Kick as her partner that way; which I WANT TO SEE); as Kick would rather punch himself in the face. Oh Maxie Zeus; Kick wants to have a word with you. Hope your right hook has more zip than Suzy's. Thankfully; Mr. Vickie finally tells them that refusal to dance is an automatic epic FAIL (As the cool kids used to say before it got driven into the ground; like I do with whatever when this series comes up.). Kendell and Kick are SHOCKED and APPALLED (in that order) and they do not fail and so they hold hands anyway. Winner of the dance off gets an automatic A plus for the year and even Kendell isn't going to resist dancing with Kick now, no matter how much she blandly hates Kick's guts. Oh and let's not forget the trophy which looks like a grey sphere. LAMEO Vickie! I think the A+ is good enough to convince thee.

Kick and Kendell want the trophy and the A+; and so they argue. I don't think these two can dance anyway. The biggest muscle is their lips. Oh wait; that's Jim Cornette and Paul E. Dangerously, never mind. They do not like each other. Geez; I thought Kendell having a rape whistle and Kick throwing up after doing the worst kiss this side of Gadget Goes Hawaiian would be enough. See what I mean by the jackhammering the point home. Oh and we get more Z-grade martial arts zoom in as they try to trump each other to infinity and I just want to punch Kick's face in and kiss Kendell's face in just so they know...ADVANCE THE PLOT~! Thankfully; Mr. Vickie brings his boom box. Here's one question for the writers out there: Why does everyone in this cartoon carry a tape player. If there is Internet; then the default old farts would have used CD's while the rest used an iPod device. Tape players are so 1980's which is like Ancient Egypt. More dancing from Mr. Vickie as he squeaks the gym floor just to amuse me and it's practice time. So we see the students as even Emo Kids is grooving in the pan shot. Kendell and Kick do not know what to make of this. Kick and Kendell argue some more and Kendell thinks dancing is too tough for Kick. Actually most anything that doesn't involve stomping on Kit Cloudkicker's corpse is too tough for him. So Kick gets down and boogies in the worst fashion possible....and steps on Kendell's foot and gets headbutted in the nose for her troubles. No male on female contact? What no male on female contact?

Kendell blows him off for breaking her foot and nose as Kick claims two out of three isn't bad. So Kendell twirls him like a ballerina and we get logic break #1 for the episode as Kick magically changes into a tutu. HAHA! Okay; I'll let that one slide. Sadly; the helmet negates the effect a little bit. And we change again (BOO! HISS!) to normal as Kick doesn't do graceful. I love real comments that aren't supposed to be real comments. Kendell claims that he can't. Even better real comment as Mr. Vickie swears in DUBBED CEASER STYLE as we have some front runners and we see Kendell and Kick in shock since Jackie is running Gunther over her head. HAHA! See; make the joke and then pay it off. Jackie's dancing is AWESOME BABEE as Gunther is floored literally and Jackie asks if Kick liked it. Of course he does since he's not the VICTIM of it Jackie The Stalker Whackerman. Kendell and Kick look stunned as Jackie has had enough of Kick and they are going down BABEE! Oh goody; if there is one thing better than Whacky Jackie; it's PISSED OFF Whacky Jackie. Gunther is pleading for help and I say: Suck it up fatass and LIKE IT~! You are Jackie's Whacky Fatass Bitch now. Deal with it Gunther Magnumson. Kendell feels like giving up halfway through this short as Mr. Vickie tells them to find their own style. Hey; I agree with that moral. After all; it improved Mr. Vickie's manliness by 500%, so it does have it's perks. That's what dancing is all about. Kind of like rap is all about complaining about pointless things. And yes; I'll get to Garage Banned in Season 2 soon enough.

So we head to Kick's house as Kendell paces around complaining while Kick watches television and gleefully ignoring her. In other words; they are doing their best character work; which is being unlikable and bland all in one scene. Kendell claims that she doesn't have a style and Kick clams he does which is awesome complete with double devil pose. Sadly; Kick doesn't know the meaning of the word awesome. So Kick changes the channel and we get ROID RAGE LUNCHA LIBRE~! Kendell is not impressed with this and I agree. I mean; the Koodoo masked man is pretty funny; but he's claymation and thus getting pummeled has a lot more feeling than in Flash unless it is animated well by actual talent instead of hacks whom Disney hired to save money. Kick calls it dancing awesome as Kendell steals the remote and shows her style which is opera as a Viking Lady sings. Come to think about it; that might be just the second appearance rant wise of Helga Magumson (and her first voice role) as she calls it a brilliant blend of music and drama. Final Fantasy VI fans agree; but Helga is not brilliant as Kick steals the remote and wants awesome. I don't think The Miz is interested since Kick's audience is the same as John Cena's audience in terms of age and gender. So we change channels and take remotes for a bit while the bland and the unlikable continue to argue on style. I say go for substance; but that would shift it in Kendell's favor and we cannot have that because the target audience wants chaos and mayhem; not substance and grace.

And then we combine opera with wrestling which makes more sense than it sounds since wrestling is a physical soap opera after all. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kick and Kendell are SHOCKED and it's not because we have an obvious logic break. And they hold hands and have their Krackpotkin plan to combine the styles. And then they stop holding hands and do Gruffi poses. I'm SHOCKED Kick hasn't thrown up once yet in this short. Actually; there hasn't been a single bodily fluid gag in this short either. And so we head to Mellowbrook School as the bell rings. We head into the gym as Mr. Vickie decided that rap wasn't manly enough and does the Russian Dance. The gym teacher doesn't like this AT ALL. Oh sod off; you sadistic fatass! And so Mr. Vickie finds his OUT OF NOWHERE tape player and we DANCE, DANCE, DANCE TO OUR DOOM! HEEHEEHEEHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mr. Vickie scouts the competition and we see Gunther in a suit and black top hat dancing with Jackie in a purple dress and dancing shoes. Must be Whacky Restraint Day at the Whackerman household. AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

They do a **** 1/2 dance as Mr. Vickie thinks he has his A+ champions right there. And Kendell and Kick blow them off as they enter through the door as Kick is wearing a mask and red underwear over his suit while Kendell is dressed like a viking and has the biggest ax she can carry. I see Kick is Chum Chum today; only with a lot less ADHD and Katherine Victor is on her best behavior. Everyone is in SHOCK as Kick and Kendell walk in and they of course still don't like each other. So they walk into the center and hold hands as Kendell throws her axe away stage right. If she MURDERS Jackie with it; she is going straight to hell. And I do mean HELL. My HELL! Spin-o-rama to start as Jackie and Gunther hold their positions and Gunther throws Jackie away stage right. Kick goes straght into the wall as everyone cringes on that spot. Sadly; it's not because Kick did the Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot that I hate dearly.

Kendell blitzes him from the stands and Kick grabs her and we twirl with the grace of a dying seagull. Kick throws her to the center and Kendell twinkle toes. Oh damn; I knew that the HB sound effects would get involved somehow. Everyone pops on cue and Mr. Vickie claps. Oh please; this is barely *** at best as Kendell twirls with slightly better grace than Kick as we cut over to Whackie Jackie who is not amused. And I agree with her by the way. So Jackie rips off Gunther's suit and IT IS ON BABEE! She magically changes into black and white tights and we dance the Irish Spring~! And it's about **** 1/2 give or take 1/4* as Mr. Vickie calls it awesome step work as Kick blitzes Kendell and we dance around in a circle and barely get to *** 1/2. Mr. Vickie and company are in awe; but Jackie taps her foot and twirls Gunther around and does a ***** job that Gunther needs to go pee.

Hey; we went eight minutes plus before that one; so consider that a good sign for this episode's quality methinks. Then we break logic as somehow Mr. Vickie has become a music manager pimp. Methinks Mr. Vickie is losing it himself as the twirling continues on. Kendell yells that they have to win and so Kick does the BOWSER TAILSPIN OF DEATH and throws her out the window. Are we really shocked that Kick "The babyface that does heel stuff" Buttowski would do that to Kendell? Seriously; after the "Kiss That Sucked The Meat Missile With Gusto" in Box Office Blitz?!

We head outside as Kendell flies over the scoreboard while doing the pose in mid-air as Kick runs onto the football field much to the gasps of the students and Kick does the LEAP OF FAITH and manages to steady Kendell on her push off foot. Pan up as Kendell does her pose and Mr. Vickie looks like he's going to cry. Kendell catches the football (OUT OF NOWHERE of course) and Jackie is angry as hell. To Kick: JACKIE'S GONNA KILL YOU! Sadly; the football players in green jerseys tackle them down and MURDER them for her. Damn you; OUT OF NOWHERE RANDOM HUMOR~! Everyone cringes and then the pile separates and Kendell rises up using Kick's arm as a pole as Kendell shows the football. DAMN YOU KICK BUTTOWSKI~! Kendell throws the football away and the football players dance. That's right folks; that was all a dance sequence. We get the hut sequence in stereo as Jackie sums it all up nicely for me....


Like I said: JACKIE'S GONNA KILL YOU! Jackie drags Gunther to the field and we have trademark Gruffi poses on. One is intentional and one isn't so much. Hint: the Unintentional one is 100 pounds heavier. Jackie calls Kendell OUT on this and Kendell returns the favor. Jackie orders Gunther to say something to taunt Kick and Gunther stammers like an idiot. HA! You better do what Jackie says Gunther; or as I say...You guessed it. So Gunther whisper yells to Kick that he's crying inside. Sure you are Gunther; sure. So Jackie snaps her fingers and she apparently has bribed the Mellowbrook cheerleaders and we dance. A little disappointing compared to the rest (about **** by my count); but still it's enough for Mr. Vickie to run in and it's clear that HE'S crying on the inside and wants it to go out through the out door. AHHAHAHAHAHA!

How funny that a show stars a fatass, a bland valley girl and an unlikable vainglorious bastard; and yet the best characters are a stalker and a gay man. Everyone runs to the stands as the dance off MUST CONTINUE~! It's obvious now that Kick and Kendell are going to pass gym class no matter how crappy their dancing is compared to Gunther and Jackie. Jackie and Gunther do this unbelievable dance sequence that makes anything on Dancing With The Stars so third rate. See; animation does have it's benefits. Plus; it reduces injuries from the real thing. Wrestling could be awesome again this way too. It's not like WWE doesn't have a cartoon comic for young kids anyway.

Kick and Kendell decide that they cannot compete anymore and orders the football players to head to the shower and they played a good game. What game Kick?! It's dancing; not a game unless you are doing it on a Wii. Then it's a game. Kick also tells Kendell to do the same and she doesn't like it at all but bails anyway. So Kick and Kendell do a final dance stand and then we twist like a helicopter as Kendell goes into the air and does a loop de loop for only $1.50 plus tax on the goal posts. We rotate about ten times backwards and she flips back to Kick as we dance some more and now even Gunther doesn't like this anymore. Kendell twists Kick around and Kick runs up the stands about 15 rows deep as Kendell is dancing on the OUT OF NOWHERE bench in the middle of the football field. Oh man; if it wasn't for the logic breaks; this would be a full monty episode for sure. So Kick jumps and we slingshot Kendell into the air and where she lands; Jackie hopes it's in a six foot grave somewhere in Mellowbrook Memorial Gardens. Kendell flips about five times and lands in Kick's arms and I'm guessing that they have won the dance off and got the A+. Everyone pops loudly as that is a **** dance. Still doesn't beat Jackie and Gunther who are stunned and wonder where it went all so wrong. Answer: Jackie and Gunther are not the main characters that the writers are trying to get over, Kick and Kendell are. That's why.

Kick and Kendell exchange pleasure thoughts and so Emo Kid's voice tells them to kiss each other and Kick and Kendell bail in opposite directions like a bunch of scalded dogs. HAHA! Mr. Vickie claps and proclaims that this was wonderful as the gym teacher looks really pissed off. Mr. Vickie cannot decide the winner (okay; I can accept the tie finish); so the gym teacher wants to break the tie. Mr. Vickie asks if it involves another dance off and the gym teacher yells for dodgeball like the sadist that she is. And anyone who has seen; oh; three episodes of this series know what happens to Emo Kid. So let's just say Emo Kid gets MURDERED in the gym and end the episode at 10:00 approx. Maybe the best episode of Season one right there as Jackie and Mr. Vickie carried this one Kit Cloudkicker style. How ironic eh?! **** 1/2 (90%).

Opening Moment #2: The title card shows Kick Buttowski in prison. HAHA! Maybe the best title card in the entire series. Too bad even that cell cannot contain him.

Tattler's Tale: We begin this one with a butterfly sky shot and then pan down to Kick and Brad smiling like they just got BUSTED for some crime. In Brad's case; it's having no heat as a heel and Kick crimes are a mile long and five miles wide. Denise walks in front of them to her car and tells them to behave as Kick and Brad just lie through their teeth so much that they even do the contrived hug. Bleh. Denise isn't so sure; but she proclaims that she'll return in 4 hours and drives the car out of the driveway. We then cut back to the bleh hug of doom for another ten seconds or so and then we separate. HA! Why doesn't that surprise me? So we circle and then we go to the Tale Of The Tape. Apparently; Brad's weakness is tap water which is CONTINUITY from Dad's Car. Then we circle some more and Kick's weakness is the tear jerkers. Yeap; it's Battle #2 of the crappy Deadman's Drop battle. At least Kick has to fight this one head on instead of trying to escape Brad. Oh and Kick's special move is The Rightous Chop of Radness. Riiiiigggghhhhhttttt Kick. Do you have to be so banal on your move set Kick Buttowski? So we break the ice with Brad grabbing Kick and Kick doing the helm splitter; then Brad throws Kick as Kick springs from the clothesline and it's the Bitten Arm which the power of suggestion is so powerful; Brad faceplants right into a tree. Tree comes down right on top of Kick though. Good for the tree; it's poor form to laugh at the power of suggestion, no matter how crappy it gets.

So we see Kick and Brad destroy a perfectly innocent fence and it's the ear pull to break down another portion of the fence. Then we jackhammer the screen in wide screen as it's three hours later. Sorry; but without a deadpan narrator, it's not funny. So let's move on to Kick and Brad off a light pole as Kick jumps off and Brad springs stage left. Does anyone honestly think that happens in real life? Seriously; does anyone? Brad then does a Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot right into the house. Oh TAG guys! And then Brad manages to go through the front door and tackle the conviently placed Kick at the front door. Just in the right position eh fellows? Brad tries to go for the Wet Willie (wait; wasn't that Kick's move in Deadmans' Drop? Idiots!) but his watch proclaims that Denise will be back; so they basically repair all the damage done in thirty seconds, head into the house as Denise and Brianna (who get her contracted catchphrase in I might add. You know which one) and Denise notices Brad and Kick playing cards on the table. How fitting that a bunch of liars would be gambling their lives away in a card game? And to make matters worse; it's Go Fish, the kid's version of gambling. Here's a clue to BS&P: If it's a game of chance, it's still gambling. Get over it writers of the world.

Denise smiles and then hears her cellphone ring and answers it. If you cannot guess who it is; you have no reason to read this rant. Denise of course blows them off and orders them to go to their rooms because they are grounded for some time I cannot make out BABEE! Come on guys; we all know it's Mrs. Chickerelli on the phone guys. You could have made it more suspenseful if you just removed the picture in picture shot of Chick's mouth near the damn phone completely and saved it until later on when you have to expose her. So Brad and Kick feel like they are in prison; but really they are in their rooms as Kick is vandalizing his room with red marker to count the days while Brad spends more productive time working out with the dumbbells which are smarter than Kick will ever be. Sirens of pain as the montage just keeps going past it's expiry date.

So we do the mirror spots with the windows as Brad calls Kick dillweed as they wonder who snitched on them. Then we see them at the doors of their rooms as the prison doors symbolically open and Kick is forced out of the house by Denise who orders Kick not to get into any more trouble. And then of course; it's clear now by the shadow that the writers have ZERO interest in suspense to begin with as it's Mrs. Chickerelli and Oskar the Dressed Up Dog (Jay Leno: YOUR DOG IS NOT GOING TO WEAR THAT!) as we go to the FLASHBACK OF DOOM to another montage of Kick basically destroying Mrs. Chickerelli's property with a dug up swimming pool, diving board and skateboard. And other such chaos and mayhem as a shadow calls on her cellphone.

We then get the "Evil One" in the flesh (You call that evil? Silly maybe; but evil? Riiiigggghhhhhtttt.) as Kick calls her out and Mrs. Chickerelli makes no effort to defend her actions because let's face it. She doesn't have to as Chickerelli screams at Mr. Vickie who was trimming his plants. WHAT THE HELL IS HER PROBLEM WITH HIM? Oh; and let's jackhammer the background of her angry and her dog's anger while we are at it. Sadly; this video is shot against a television so it's difficult to hear what she is saying. The guise of the dialog is that Kick was only trying to have fun, Chick wants peace and quiet and Kick is the worst thing to ever come to Mellowbrook. She does have a point there; but grossly underestimating Kick's worseness. Chick wants to make Kick pay if he does one thing wrong; he's grounded forever for real as Denise states that Kick will be on her best behavior. Kick's face is priceless when he responds I should point out.

Fade to black and we see Kick driving on the sidewalk so we get another montage of Chickerelli being a hawk on Kick's misdeeds as Kick cleans up the sidewalk and we see cellphone scene changer while we are at it. Not going to bother calling it as Chickerelli even gets pissed off when Kick walks his bicycle and MURDERS a clump of grass on the sidewalk and gets evil when she notices Kick walking out the house. So we head inside Kick's room as Kick continues to vandalize his room with red markers (see; how can I have sympathy for Kick when he vandalizes his own room. That's a groundable offense if I ever saw it.) as he has one more offense left and if he gets caught one more time; he's grounded for the rest of his childhood. Gunther states that Kick isn't the only one she depises as we get mug shots of Kendell, Jackie The Stalker Wackerman (HOW DARE SHE?), Emo Kid and even Mr. Vickie. Wow; she's a homophobe too. Sounds like a fundie to me. Anyhow; we head in front of Chick's house (how dumb can you get?) as Brad shows up and apparently sweet talks Kick before turning on him and throws Kick's skateboard into Chickerelli's yard. Kick is really pissed off of that as Chickerelli comes out along with Oskar. Now let's see if Chickerelli is only going after Kick or all the kids which in this world, logic states that Kick and Brad will be the ones punished here. Oskar grabs the skateboard and goes inside as the door closes. What? No cellphone ringing? Brad laughs at Kick's expense (complete with jackhammered HA's) as Kick is not amused by it either.

Scene changer as we see Mrs. Chickerelli throw the skateboard into the trash can as Gunther and Kick are watching from the hedge. They jump down and Gunther invokes Krackpotkin Plan #3242 instead of simply buying Kick a new skateboard to spite Chickerelli. I don't what the hell he said there because of the low sound; but Kick gives the thumbs up anyway. Gunther pumps up and tries to jump; but the prison bars are on him. Then we scene change to Gunther literally being in the dog house. HAHA! That's the first funny thing in this episode too; nearly six minutes in! It's the punishment from the old country see. Kick has a Krackpotkin plan in store and so we logically lead to Kick blowing off Brad who is sitting on a black lawn chair eating popcorn. Brad no sells of course calling Kick dillweed. Kick asks for Brad's wallet holding out his hand and Brad brings out the wallet and shakes it near the arm mocking Kick. So Kick crushes Brad's body with the back of the lawn chair. Now that is one dangerous looking defective lawn chair there. Kick steals Brad's wallet (no; not his ass despite Kick squashing it though) and throws it into Chickerelli's yard. WHAT? That's Kick's plan? To get Brad grounded? UGH! Brad recovers and tries to MURDER Kick; but Chickerelli arrives with Oskar and slowly tries to go to her speed dial cellphone; so Brad hugs Kick in a creepy fashion pleading for mercy. And Chickerelli actually sells it as Brad decides that Kick isn't so bad after all and it's time to do something about Mrs. Chickerelli.

So we head to the Battlesnax and inside at a table as Kick and Brad exchange notes on the situation. Oh; the irony! That leads to another montage of kids getting busted by Mrs. Chickerelli. No, not really. More like pillow hopscotch, Mr. Vickie playing with the lawnmower and a dog with diapers about to pee on a hydrant which is sadly cut back to the brothers of destruction Disney style. Kick suggests wondering what drives Mrs. Chickerelli over the edge as Brad proclaims that he wants to find out as he can drive anyone crazy since he's Kick's #1 annoyance and picture frames Kick good. Heh. Kick blows him off; but Brad is SERIOUS about this one. Kick proclaims that he likes the way he thinks. So we head back to Mrs. Chickerelli's house as she goes outside and sees nothing....AND THE ROCK SEZS NOTHING! For about ten seconds as Kick speeds on the road and scuffs the pavement as Chick gets mighty pissed off. Then Kick rides on the railing of her gate as Chick opens the gate heading to Denise's house; but the TRAP OF DOOM knocks over her trash can and recycling bin. The video artifacts too much to see what exactly the trap was; but I know the cans were knocked over otherwise. And Oskar goes after Kick of course just to be Oskar. It turns out that Kick is both on his bicycle and a Z-grade pogo stick which indicates that Kick is using his watermelon dummy which is bad because the dummy does more work rate than the real thing. Chick is pissed off like an old grandmother I should note. And then we see Kick under the manhole cover and on the fire hydrant. Yeah; this is getting absurd now and it's time to mercy kill this short now.

She gets sprayed with water and we get more silly antics which only serve for interference as Kick goes into her yard and gets the skateboard from her trash can and hugs it like Baloo hugs the SeaDuck. Whatever Kick. Then he hears something in his head as he notices the stuff in the trash can and gets inspired. So we head back to the street as Chickerelli delusions are dangerously becoming too much for her to be healthy. If you ever wanted to see Kick at his most unlikable; this is the short you have been searching for. Oh and one of Kick's dummies steals Chickerelli's car as Chick screams complete with jack-hammered scream spiral background. Why not just get your cellphone out NOW Chick? It's clear no adult in Mellowbrook is going to challenge you so make like Nike and do it. Chick then goes to Denise's house and Denise opens the door and all Chick does is speak gibberish to her about Kick screwing her mind. Now if real logic existed in this world; this would be Kick's final short and Kick would be grounded forever and this show would be canceled. However; since we live in a world that even Sara Palin would have more sense; Denise is going to ignore it and Kick will be all right. And damn it to hell if I'm not right as we see Kick right beside Denise and Chick calls him out on everything and Kick feigns innocence. Kick greets Chickerelli and Chick just stammers.

Here's the obvious stupid logic break: Remember at the beginning of the episode when Mrs. Chickerelli called Denise on the cellphone? Chickerelli clearly saw what Kick did; but Denise didn't. And Denise still busted Kick and Brad and they were grounded despite never actually seeing the carnage since Kick and Brad repaired everything? So what happens here? Denise now believes Kick didn't do a thing and slams the door shut on Chickerelli. WHAT THE HELL? I told you the logic in this show was whack? So why did Denise bust the boys for in the first place? Chick must be thinking the same lines as I am as she returns to her house stammering. So we head inside as Denise admits that she is no longer buying Chickerelli's tall tales. Wait; just NOW? Denise Buttowski is so DENSE; and Denise is a FEMALE. Don't these writers know that the female is not supposed to be dense. Nightflight said that in doublespeak so it must be true. So we get the jackhammered "Later" wide screen segue as Kick addresses all the dummies who drove Chick mad and it's all the kids and Mr. Vickie wearing Kick Buttowski outfit. Considering Mr. Vickie; that's another logic break since Mr. Vickie looks about 200 pounds heavier in the suit and would clearly look different from the rest of the Buttowski's.

Kick has the sack of stink as he gives all the stuff back including an autograph picture of him to Jackie as Jackie hugs it. HAHA! That's the second funny spot of the short and we have only thirty seconds left. Emo Kid gets the dodgeball in the chest of course literally. If he hates dodgeball so much; why does he keep one? Mr. Vickie gets his fake chest hair back and of course Kick gives Brad his wallet back as we break logic some more since Brad is two feet taller than Kick. Kick tries to walk away as Brad tells him that he did some nice work annoying me. Okay; he didn't say that as Kick turns around and wets his glove finger and this fight MUST CONTINUE! Whatever guys. They jump into the explosion jackhammer background and that is that at 10:20 approx. One of the worst shorts in this series thus far and that's saying something. And the finish was horrible to watch too. - * 1/4 (25%).


Well; what can I say? Dancing With The Enemy actually rocked as it had a decent buildup; and a perfect climax as Jackie was awesome and kept Gunther in check throughout most of it. The Kick/Kendell deal actually worked out for a change as it put some needed heat on the Jackie/Kick relationship and Kendell's hatred for awesomeness was pretty funny. Mr. Vickie was a riot as a dancer and a rapper. The finish and ending all made perfect sense in the context of the episode (and we paid off the no dodgeball joke too) and no bodily fluid jokes whatsoever (and no; Gunther asking to go pee doesn't count in this case.). Although; I fear for Emo Kid's life and well being now as he's becoming a really depressing one note joke. The only problems I had was the out of nowhere props which made it look a bit unbelievable at least from Kick and Kendell's side of things. Now; the dance Kick and Kendell did was pretty good; but Jackie and Gunther were clearly the winners here in my view; so they had to go for the tiebreaker finish to save face which was actually a good decision since Kick and Kendell winning outright would have ruined it. In my view; this is the best season one episode in Kick Buttowski. I got to admit; once the writers stop stooping to Nickeledeon levels of suck; they can write pretty good material that is entertaining.

Wow; I didn't think a late season one short like Tattler's Tale would be Agony Booth bad; but here we have exactly that. The whole Mrs. Chickerelli busting the boys would have been a fun episode for me; but it kept getting dumber and dumber as the episode progressed. There was exactly two funny spots in the entire short and only the doghouse one meant anything in the context of the episode. I could tolerate Brad and Kick getting together; but the way they did it only made Kick stooped to the lowest of his unlikable-ness ever. And then there was the finish as it broke logic and reason (since in the sequence where Chick was getting her mind screwed; the dummies were exactly the same despite being different at the end of the short); as Denise didn't buy it this time despite the fact that there was no indication of her noticing what Kick and Brad did THE FIRST TIME they got grounded. It makes no sense then; it makes no sense now. No suspense; no buildup; no context, no care, no good short period. And the second fight is as horrible as the first time in Deadmans Drop; but without the grace of Kick trying to escape to justify it. So the next Kick Buttowski episode will be The Treasure Of Dead Man Dave...although; I thought he was called Dead Man Dink in Deadman's Drop. Once that is done; it's time for double episode fun with Kickaserus Wrecks and Battle For The Snax. So.....

Thumbs up for Dancing With The Enemy and a thumbs way down in hell for Tattler's Tale and I'll see you next time.

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