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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Kickin Genes/Clothes Call Rant

Reviewed: 06/26/2011

Kicking Into Clothes Without The Crank Calling!

Ah; we finally come to one of the biggest character development episodes in the entire series. Yeah; really. Stop laughing! It's true, it's damn true this time. Kick's mother has a secret she can't spill that would fracture Kick's world forever. So what is this secret? Our second short features Kick going to the mall again for formal gear. YAY! So let's continue the pain shall we...?

Kickin Genes is written by Dave Lewman and Joe Liss. The story is done by Neal Boushell and Samuel O'Neil. The storyboard is done by Chuck Klein and the direction is done by Chris Savino. Dave's debut was as an actor in Limboland in 1994 then a cameo in Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. Then he started writing for Tamagotchi Video Adventures, 3rd Rock From The Sun, 3-South, Drawn Together, George Of the Jungle 2007 Edition, Spaceballs: The Animated Series and as a consultant for DJ & Fro. Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut. Joe Liss also has written credits for Drawn Together, 3rd Rock From The Sun, George of the Jungle and Spaceballs. However; he is mostly an actor (!!). He started with a cameo in Major League in 1989, then Curley Sue, Home Alone 2, Wayne's World 2, and Nobody Knows Anything! Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut. He has 17 acting credits to his resume and is a producer for Goodnight America and Living in TV Land. Neal worte episodes for the following shows: The Preston Episodes in 1995, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, Brothers Keeper, Baby Blues, The Simpsons, American Dad, and Back At The Barnyard. The Emperor's New Sckool is his DTVA debut. He has 12 writing credits to his resume. I have nothing for Samuel O'Neil though. Maybe he's under an alias here. Chuck started with Duckman in 1986 and then it's Family Guy, Spongebob Squarepants, The Cleveland Show, Catdog, My Life As A Teenage Robot, and the Mighty B! Techer's Pet is his DTVA debut and does storyboards for Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers and Brady & Mr. Whiskers. 12 storyboard credits, three writing and three direction. Whew!

Clothes Call is written by Patrick Andrew O'Connor and Brendan Duffy. The storyboards are done by Scott O'Brien and directed by Chris Savino. Patrick has only two credits total beside Kick Buttowski: The Breakup Artist (story and soundtrack writer) and Channel 5 News At Ten. An interesting note from the USIMDB: Patrick's first big break came in 2004, when his script "Don Juan" beat out 4100 others to win the $10,000 grand prize in the prestigious Scriptapalooza International Screenplay Competition. In 2005-06, he was hired by Disney to rewrite their animated feature film "Pinocchio 2." In 2008, he sold his script "The Break-Up Artist" to Legacy Filmworks. It was filmed in Vancouver, starred Amanda Crew, and was released on DVD in November 2009. In January 2010, his script "The Grenade" beat out 600 others to win the Storypros International Screenwriting competition. Patrick has finished as a quarterfinalist or higher in 6 different screenplay competitions with 5 different scripts. Patrick is also an Emmy/Golden Mike and Aptra Award winning Writer/Producer for KTLA Channel 5's Prime News in Los Angeles. Brendan has only two known credits: Expecting and What's Up Warthogs? That's it. Wow; they ARE depending on Scott O'Brien to carry this short on his back. All episodes are done in Flash of course.

Opening Moment #1: The title card is a black background with a DNA strand and one of the yellow spheres has Kick's faceless helmet doing the devil pose. Whatever.

Kickin Genes: We begin this one as we begin with a shot of Kick's left arm (!!!) as Kick proclaims that he has conquered land and air as we see Kick with his PFD on as he is going to conquer water as we go to the ass shot of him on the skateboard as he is ramping down the hill and off the docks of a lake. There is a motorboat with Wade piloting it complete with towing black trampoline. Kick goes down the hill; off the ramp and then panics because Wade is going mucho macho too slow. So Kick breaks all logic and reason and slams into the water like he slams on a cement floor before sinking. That lake is NOT UP TO CODE! I've heard of hard water; but this is stupid. And the moral of the story is never send a Wade to do a Gunther's job. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The skateboard wipes out better as the motorboat whizzes on by. Wade then somehow teleports out of the boat on land as Kick slowly walks out with seaweed on his helmet as Wade apologizes. See; perfect timing is not his forte because he's three hours late for work at the Food -N- Fix. Ummm; yeah.

So we head to Kick's house and then into the garage where the "Museum of Awesome" is located as Gunther is featherdusting the boat stunt. Wait; so what was the point about doing THAT stunt from the start? Then Kick walks in and faceplants himself all wet. Now THAT's funny for some perverse reason that I cannot put my thumb on right now. Gunther asks how it went and Kick blows him off. Gunther counters that the "Museum of Awesome" (scare quotes intentional) needs a new exhibit as we find out that the boat stunt mantle (which is made from trashcans natch) has a coming soon on it which actually renders the previous scene not so pointless after all. See; they are running out of customers as Kick is confused. So Gunther puts on his working glasses and decides to eleborate. So we see Gunther and Kick at the table with the account calculator that Gunther probably stole from the TaleSpin prop department and proclaims that they have had ZERO customers in the past six months. If they don't find a new exhibit they are "doomed, DOOMED I SAY". Scare quotes intentional. Gunther then suggests as an alternate to install a teleportation device. And wouldn't you know it; we do the dream sequence as we literally dead ring Star Trek; almost right down to the sound. This ends up in Mrs. Chick's bathroom as she is taking a bubble bath and she screams right on cue badly when Kick and Gunther re-appear. Whatever. We return to reality (no, not really) as the boys cringe. They got a point since Chick isn't exactly the model character in this cartoon.

Anyhow; Gunther proclaims that they need a new exhibit and suggest checking for some anicent artifacts to add to the "Museum of Awesome". Kick ponders it over and states that they might be some in the attic. Then he proclaims that he will hit the teleportation switch which is the conviently place light switch and the lights go out. Ummm; whatever Gunther. We go back to light in the attic as it's stereo throwing away stuff ala The Wuzzles. Gunther notices a trophy which looks like an arrow from Super Mario RPG with a heart and an exclaimation mark. Gunther asks if Kick won that award and Kick examines it before proclaiming that it's Harold's where he won for the most cautious. See; he put it in there to prevent someone from tripping on it as Kick grabs another box and brings out a big ass helmet which is purple with a big letter H in white. Kick is stunned by this as Gunther asks if it's his helmet. Kick states that it isn't because it has an H on it. Kick deduces that it might be Harold's as we go to the dream sequence as we see Harold in the purple stuntsuit slowly walking to a race car and then he blows off the stunt driver because someone could get very hurt. Now Harold in a stunt suit would be awesome; but since Disney's mantra is that if it isn't female; it is sexist so we return to reality (no, not really) as Gunther deduces that this is more like a woman's costume. NO?! REALLY?! Kick then states that it might be Honey Buttowski's suit which Gunther seduces Kick. Kick blows him off because Honey is Denise Buttowski's nickname. You wish you were Burt "Christopher Love" Prentice Gunther. Anyhow; Gunther finds a VHS tape; which is how we watched movies on television in 1986. Gunther wonders what is on the VHS tape so they manage to find a VHS player (in 2011?) and put the tape in. Wow; this IS 1986. That officially dates this show 25 years ago. This IS the new Disney's TaleSpin. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm......

Anyhow; we cut to a shot of the television as an announcer in a brown suit with black hair and a mustache plus microphone announces the Greased Lightning of feminism as the speedboat in the background sprays water on the announcer. And then she does it AGAIN as the announcer blows her off. If you cannot guess who is the speed demon making the announcer angry; you have no business reading this rant. The speedboat lands on the dock close to her fans as the helmet comes off and it's Honey Buttowski with a wicked hair style. Kick is SHOCKED and honored (in that order) as Honey's alternative name is Honey Splash. This would have been a lot more awesome if they didn't call her Honey all the time and that Harold would apologize everytime for calling her that instead of Denise as an "unintentional slip of the tongue" so to speak. Kick is loving this as Gunther admires the rhinestones. Whatever. Kick asks Gunther if he knows what this means and Gunther thinks she's an Elvis Impersonator. Wait; does that make any sense? Shouldn't it be "she's an Evil Kvinel Impersonator"? Oh wait; never mind. Kick corrects him because Honey is going to drive the boat for his next stunt. See; I think BS&P's legal department stepped in and Elvis was supposed to be Kvinel. Otherwise; it's stupid random humor. And that would put them on the same plane as Fanboy & Chum Chum.

So both go outside as we see Denise Buttowski trimming the hedges with her garden shears. Kick and Gunther run in as Kick shows her the suit and she gets all flustered, hot and bothered. She has never seen it before and then runs away stage right with the shears. Kick proclaims that she is fooling no one and she will drive that boat. Leave her alone you vainglorious bastard! She's not interested in doing stunts anymore and it clearly shows in her body lanuage; how little of it it shows due to the Flash animation. So we head inside with Denise polishing a mirror in the living room (I think) as the doorbell rings. Denise answers it and it opens as Denise is SHOCKED to see a motorboat in the driveway. She gets all giddy as we see Kick in front of it and Gunther dressed up like Honey Splash. For what damn reason; I do not know. It's the X9-3000 according to Kick as Denise and Kick run down the features which I'll leave as an exercise to the reader. After some goading; Denise admits that the suit is hers and that she just cannot drive the speedboat as she runs into the house like a scalded dog. Then Kick really gets under my skin as we head inside as Kick opens the door and yells at Denise that she can. What a bothersome little bastard child this Kick Buttowski fellow is? And people are suddenly surprised when I say he's unlikable?

Anyhow; Kick proclaims that he saw the video of her; but Denise asks him if he saw the whole video. So she plays the tape further as we hear the announcer in studio explain via the footage that Honey Splash tore her groin muscle in the attempt and retired. How do I know it was her groin? The selling occurs far away from the screen so not to notice and she comes up with a body part complex speaking name that doesn't exist. I club BS&P! Even more so considering that we have seen Kick naked as a jaybird about three times already. Gunther goes all ouch on it as he feels her pain; as he sat on one of the rhinestones on the suit. Kick apologizes and decides not to bug her anymore. Wow; that is the first time Kick actually acted like a gentlemen. So Denise slowly decides that her groin is on the mend and she'll do one little outing for Kick as Kick is HAPPY. See how easy it was to get what you want without demanding it Kick? Gunther gives the suit back to Denise allowing us the horrible sight of Gunther being naked as a jaybird. EWWWWWW! GET HIM AWAY! GET HIM AWAY! Thankfully; we only see him from the waist up. Kick points out the obvious to Gunther as Gunther blushes and walks off stage left holding his nuts. And of course chaos ensues outside as we get side nudity and ass nudity in the background. Oh god; THAT BURNS indeed sir! Kick asks if they don't have to wait to get the jumpsuit washed and Denise tells him to guess again. In other words; Gunther took a dump in them to boot. I'm not even going to bother explaining what that means. It sort of explains itself.

So while we wait; we get the old dress up sequence from the very beginning of Deadmans Drop to waste time in stereo this time since Denise is doing the same thing. Oh; and Denise wears the SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT ; how cute! The garage door opens and we have Kick The Honey & Splash Connection~! And then we get the jackhammered comic book background of doom which is quite cool actually. Too bad it's also quite pointless. So we return to the lake as Honey Splash takes over on the speed boat while Kick is on the hill with his skateboard. At least we now know why Denise approves of Kick's stunts; but what exactly is Harold's excuse then? Denise hopes she remembers how to drive one of these as we get some hand on hand control action before starting the motor. Kick comes down the hill talking on the transmitter as he goes off the ramp and into the air as the skateboard flies from his feet and Kick panics again since Denise still hasn't left the dock yet. Denise suddenly gets her cue and she races for Kick's life as Kick bounces off the trampoline and lands on solid ground; does three forward rolls and then does the double devil's pose. Now in any sane universe; the short should be over right there; but we still have four and a half minutes left so it's time to play CDS.

Oh and Kick gets splashed of course just so Honey Splash can live up to her name. Nice to see the writers were paying attention. Denise comes out sans helmet and Kick praises her. Denise feels giddy and awesome as she apparently has found her confidence again. And her zombie look creeps me out too. So we cut to the garage and the "Museum Of Awesome" as there is a jar of water on a trashcan for the boat exhibit. Gunther proclaims that they are ready to open for business as we hear a decent pop outside. So Gunther opens the garage door as there is no lineup present because the fans have turned their backs on the "Museum Of Awesome". HAHA! IN YOUR FACE KICK BUTTOWSKI~! Even better; the crowd is watching Honey Splash getting interviewed on the street by the same announcer from earlier in the short aged about ten years or so. WAHOO! SHE IS SO SMART! SHE IS SO SMART! SMRT! I MEAN SMART! Kick runs in wanting answers to this outrage and the announcer states that Denise is going to break the land speed record on water. HAHA! Denise hugs Kick and introduces the world to him as her son and the reason she's making a comeback BABEE! The crowd is all awww for that one. The announcer asks about Kick's feelings and Kick claims that he's the daredevil in the family. Riiiiiggggghhhttt Kick. The announcer's brain must be fried since Kick is clearly dead ringing Evil Knveil and not Honey Splash here as he claims. Kick claims that it's his own stunt because he's the daredevil. Remove the word dare from it and the statement is more accurate. POW! OUCH! Ummmm..The announcer thinks Kick is cute as we repeat the stunt again as the announcer asks Denise for any last words and Denise can't think of one....until she grabs the mike and yells that Honey Splash is back BABEE! Crowd absolutely pops for that one and so do I. Don't you just love it when logic and reason take over an episode instead of the usual clustermuck we see in this series?

So we cut to a sulking Kick as Gunther would like Kick to follow him. Kick proclaims that he cannot because her being awesome makes him less awesome. I don't think she needs to be awesome to make you less awesome Kick since you were NEVER awesome to begin with. Gunther gleefully answers that one for me with simple math and his accounting calculator and glasses. Oh; and Kick should support her since she supported him as he leaves. I am so loving this short. It still doesn't make Kick likable; but it sure as hell makes watching this show a lot more "bearable". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm.... So we get Kick sulking away stage right as he closes the door on the "Museum of Awesome" and then we see him in a dark living room watching the television of Honey Splash's old VHS tapes. We repeat the footage; and then we get another scene as Kick (at six years old natch) is opening a present and it's the first stunt suit as we hear Denise proclaim that she supports his stunts and Kick gets all teary-eyed as his expression looks like something out of Jerry Bomb's Pucker Punching reign of terror. Funny how; Kick was wearing normal clothes; but still wearing the damn helmet throughout the whole tape. Kick proclaims that Gunther is right and that it's time to support her as he runs out. Wow; I think Kick has finally got over. There is hope for this series at last! Now let's see if Kick pisses this all away or not....

So we head to the lake as the X9 5000 is on the water as a crowd is looking on the beach. We cut to the crowd shot as the announcer proclaims on camera that Honey Splash is going to attempt the land speed record on water as Honey Splash brings down the pink dome much to the cheers of Brad Buttowski. She starts the engines and we are give whiplash to the crowd. Wow; just wow. Goodbye "Go Honey Go" sign as Kick runs in and cheers for her. We see Denise driving on the front shot as Denise speeds up even more showing recycled shots of her gunning the engine. The announcer proclaims that she is one switch away from breaking the record as she attempts to gun the engine some more; but her arm breaks all logic and reason; causing her to break logic for no reason. Umm; guys, what was the point of doing a far screen shot earlier if you were going to have her right arm broken? She couldn't move earlier; so it had to be her groin, not her arm. There goes the full monty short right there. So close; so damn close. Kick panics as he notices that Denise isn't stopping and she is going to crash into the mountain. So Kick goes onto his skateboard and rides down which pretty much assures that we won't have a thumbs up short now. Kick goes off the ramp and splats like a bug on my windshield much to Denise's surprise. Wade calls that awesome. He's right in a sense; just not in the sense Wade might be thinking. Oh and his timing still sucks like crap as he checks his watch. So Kick climbs on top of the dome and over it as he goes to the conviently placed green bag and unloads the pink parachute which he stole from Dad's Car. Kick pulls like mad as the crowd and announcer are stunned; and Denise is panicking. The motorboat stops short of ramming into the mountain by about two feet.

Everyone rightfully pops for that one as Kick opens the dome and apologizes to her. Denise is confused as to why and Kick admits that he felt that she was leeching off his heat; but really, she gave him more heat. Good for him; and he didn't piss it all away this time. Denise proclaims that her racing days are over and that she doesn't have the stunt abilities of Kick and therefore she'll leave the daredeviling to Kick. Kick thanks her; but he still wants to keep Honey Splash's legacy intact as has a plan to do it. So we head to Kick's house as the fans all come into the garage as the "Museum of Awesome" has been changed to the Musuem of Honey Splash as the fans love it. Lots of television displays, video tape, trophies and other such Honey Splash stuff is on display. We pan up to see a banner as Kick is crossed out and it's now the Buttowski Museum Of Awesome. I cannot argue with that as the short ends right there at 10:00 approx. I take back what I said; this is the best Kick Buttowski short EVERAH! **** 3/4 (95%). Best new Disney short ever too as there was no clustermuck; excellent pacing and only a few logic breaks and Gunther's naked sequence ruining an otherwise perfect short. Kick earned his crew cut here.

Opening Moment #2: The title card has an explosion background with Kick looking like James Bond. Always vaingloriously classless despite looking classy eh?

Clothes Call: We begin with a wall shot of a photo of the Buttowski family. Then we zoom out and Kick is riding a vacuum cleaner. Yes; this episode now sucks more than Sean Desmond; a new record time for DTVA. Why doesn't that surprise me? He's being chased by a shadow which clearly looks like Honey Buttowski down the hallway. Kick turns the bend and shuts the door behind him in his room. I know this because there is a picture of Billy Stumps on the door. Push-pull ensues and then Kick breaks logic and somehow climbs the door into the vent and crawls quickly through the next vent and uses it as a skateboard down the stair railing towards the door; but Honey Shadow Splash teleports and blocks the door. And of course it's Denise as she wants Kick to stop being dramatic since they are only going to the mall. Of course Kick; the baston of respecting adults and authority pisses his likeably away in one shot by yelling No in dramatic fashion. Denise is not amused by that one as it can be heard from a forty mile radius.

Honey blows Kick off and panics because she waited until the last minute to get a suit for Aunt Sally's wedding. Geez; maybe becoming Honey Splash wasn't such a good idea eh? Kick states that he already has a suit which is his daredevil suit of course. Honey wants a real suit as Kick blows her off because he's a grown man. So we finally admitted that Kick Buttowski is a midget? If so; it makes his relationship with Gunther even more creepy than it already is. Denise counters that she picks out his father's clothes as Harold walks in wearing the most absurd outfit ever: sparkle pink shirt, red pants and white high heel boots. Good one Harold as Kick proclaims that he is NOT going to the damn mall; and of course we skip the begging and pleading and head to Denise's car as Kick is in the passenger seat with the Gruffi pose. Here's a question? If Kick is so problematic; why bother forcing him to go to a wedding? It's not like Denise and Harold are around when he's doing stunts.

We find out that this is the sixth wedding Aunt Sally has had and even Denise is getting tired of it judging by the look when she backs up the car. Kick is not amused by this either and he's probably less amused of being a ring bearer with Cousin Kyle. Then in runs Gunther as he tells Kick that it's time for the super awesome bike jump. We then zoom out to see a ladder, a flamming globe stand and a red lighted U. I am so not impressed Gunther. You call THAT awesome? Kit would finish this stunt in thirty seconds flat. And he wouldn't mind wearing a suit and going to a wedding. More so if it's one involving Baloo and Rebecca. Even if it's against Jymn Magon's wishes to do so. Oh and Gunther and Kick vandalize an umbrella store by stealing the big U. Oh lord; why do you test me so?! Kick then gets all dramatic with the martial arts zoom in as he's going clothes shopping. Gunther gasps in horror as the car drives away. Gunther than trips and the U squashes Gunther flatter than Alexendar the Grape; Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk! At least I think that is what happened here....

Scene changer of doom and we head to Mellowbrook Mall of course for the first time since Stumped/Exposed; depending on if you believed Kick's dream sequence in Exposed or not. The yellow car is at the front driving as we head inside as we get various shots of inside and then we have Kick on skateboard as he flips over a cranky old man in a wheelchair as he blows him off in kind. Denise gets on Kick's case about being difficult since she needs to find a suit for the wedding. Kick mocks being difficult and of course we go to the flashback as Kick skateboards and bowls over shoppers on the esclator, stealing a love seat from Dull Image, Kick riding a bear in Grizzly Express Eatery. Oh yeah; not diffcult in the very least no siree. We return to reality as Kick loved that bear and finds his cellphone and texts the bear. Okay; Kick is officially a midget now. Denise rants on and on about this wedding so much (I'll leave what she's ranting on as an exercise to the reader) and then she does this ultra funny lips puckering spot just to amuse me. Then it's poke the puffy cheeks as even Kick is worried about her sanity. I would question her soberity as well Kick. She even shaves her head and even pumps her head with a tire pumper. Kick doesn't know what to do as Denise barks like a chicken now. Kick finally has had enough and grabs Denise's arm and promises just to get the damn suit and NOTHING else will happen.

Denise thanks Kick for that and Kick grabs his skateboard and they walk for a while as a bicycle shop is offering a free t-shirt for demonstrating a new bike; there is also skydiving lessons since apparently the Skydivers School of Emoting wasn't enough for Kick. Kick eats his skateboard in response to indoor skydiving. Then there is the booth for Cheetah Chug and a free supply of it for a year if they know Billy Stumps middle name. Kick stops right there; which surprises me since in Season one; Kick usually breaks his promise on the first one instead of the third one. Kick has those lead grip kung fu hands as he pleads for Denise's help here and then barks like a chicken. Man; those chicken faces are creepier on Kick than on Denise. Denise luckly grabs Kick's helmet and pulls him away before anymore damage can be done to him; like exploding heads from a tire pumper.

Scene changer as we head to the Pineapple Dicatorship or PD store. Now what store would be stupid enough to try to Godwin the customer? Anyhow; Denise is having trouble on the styles of suits and decides that it's time to try them all; which Kick whines about. Denise states that the sooner they find a suit; the sooner they can get out of here. Kick offers to speed up the process as we slingshot into the montage. Or montage of suits. Same thing basically. It all ends with Kick doing the double devil's pose and the suit is two sizes too big as the pants comes down exposing his underwear. Whatever Kick. Kick wants to buy this time; and Denise blows it off. Kick protests this outrage; but the suit is two sizes too big. However; she has a solution for this as Kick pleads for mercy. See; we are now going to Short & Squat (a play on Big & Tall for those who suffer from giantism and morbid obsesity like me.) as the PA sezs nothing of note.

We pan south as Kick is not amused and Denise gallops in with a light blue suit which appears to fit Kick perfectly. Kick pleads for him not to be seen; but Denise ignores him and the fat blond lady from Not Without My Cereal return getting all giddy about Kick being cute and all. Oooookkkkkkaaayyyyy. Denise talks about the wedding and the fat lady talks about pockets and stuff as she leaves. Kick wants to leave and Denise decides that it's time to go as Kick wants her to pay for it and he'll hide in the car since he doesn't have to wait longer than he has to. So Kick hates clustermucks as much as I do? Or is it when it makes HIM look bad? Probably the later as Denise notices a hunk of a man wearing awesome clothes walk in the foreground. Denise sees this as awesomeness for Harold and gives the suit to Kick and tells him to wait in line. Kick doesn't like this because someone will see him. I think you are too late for that already Kick. Take your punishment for once and stop being so unlikable.

Denise blows him off for calling the suit stupid and wants the clothes in leopard print. Okay; Denise is starting to creep me out here as Kick walks in line dragging the suit which Denise gleefully blows him off for. Then she starts pleading and sobbing at the same time just to force the point some more as Kick blows her off and agrees to handle the suit properly. Kick walks for a while and then Wade greets him. Oh goody; another chance to make Kick look bad. I approve of this. Wade asks about the suit and Kick claims that it's not him because he doesn't wear lame stuff. Wade buys into the whole thing as he is buying a shirt and pants as we finally see him with just his cap and boxer shorts. When Wade is classier than Kick and Gunther combined; you know this show is not awesome. It's not bad anymore; but it wishes it was TaleSpin BABEE! He also needs some socks and shoes too.

Scene changer and we head to the check out line as the line is about 50 people long which in a way is bad for Kick Buttowski; but good in a sense that Denise can find her wares and Kick won't be forced to pay for it. So we have the ultimate mix bag of nuts here. And the last three ladies (including the fat lady) have bra and panties with them. The fat lady has orange ones and she's going to cheese them in the fitting room. Whatever. Then she comes back with the Don Karnage pose and Kick is instantly repulsed by it. HAHA! That give new meaning to the term "The Uncanny Valley". AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmm.... Then two twins who look like punk bullies skate outside and notice Kick Buttowski in the store; so they skate in front of the store and laugh at Kick's expense as he's in between the blue bras. Real nice hiding place there you vainglorious little bastard. The girls leave and the skate punks circle Kick and mock him with the worst mockery possible. The only funny one was the so last year quote. Oh goody; it's the DiPazzi Twins; Michael Anthony and Anthony Michael. I cannot tell them apart; so don't ask me who is who. Kick counters with a sale on body odor repellent (more or less) and the Twins buy it hook, line and sinker and skate away. Kick blows off their body odor and proclaims that the worst is behind him. Sadly; it's not over for him on the side as Kendell appears OUT OF NOWHERE. Hope you bought your rape whistle there Kendell. Although with Kick; you probably won't have to use it.

Kendell thinks Kick is going to be cute in that suit and Kick just rants on her forgetting the fact that he just attached the suit onto the wheelchair of the old man that he skateboarded over (nice CONTINUITY Payoff there guys) earlier and the old man appears and sits down and drives away stage left. Kendell just calls him a freak and leaves stage right. Kick breathes a sigh of relief and tries to grab the suit; but it's long gone and Kick grabs nothing but air. Kick panics as he gets visions of Denise chopping off his head which would be damn funny to see actually. Kick panics again; and then sees the suit being driven away by the old man whom he ranted on him for skateboarding off his ride. Kick then turns around and pokes a blond fat guy in a black shirt on the shoulder. He tells the man to save his spot and the man nods. Kick then runs out of the store towards the railing and looks out to notice the old man on the first floor already. The old man drives away southwest as Kick chases him and the old man turns around and yells at him as a punk kid. See how much of an improvement this show is when you pay off your jokes?

So we get some flips and rolls as Kick gets into the elevator and I swear that last guy he whizzed past before he got on the elevator is the exact same guy in the lineup that Kick asked to keep his spot; only with a different style of shirt on. That is sloppy recycling there guys. So we get the "elevator music ride" for about three seconds and then Kick flips out of the elevator. I'm glad to see that the writers finally figured out that the "do nothing and see if the kids laugh at it" is too dated to be used properly anymore.  The old man drives around calling him a punk kid and the chase is on again. Trash cans are dodged; babies regain soothers that are spit out; Kick has the grace of a dying swan etc. We get the split run as the old man calls him a punk kid again; so Kick rides off the side ramp and defies gravity and gravity wins by making him splat into the glass map which surprisely doesn't break. Must be the awesome puckering forces of Kick that saved it. Kick unpuckers his head and the CHASE MUST CONTINUE~!  Kick even takes the time to grab a green cup and put into the trash can and blow off the teenager on the cellphone as a litterbug. Riiiiiiggggghhhttt Kick. You stole and vandalize an umbrella store. Do you want your projection regular or extra crispy Kick?  Kick bounces off the globe display of course just to get that one in.

So we cut back to Denise checking for pink underwear. She streches it and throws it away checking for sure. Because that scene wasn't awesome enough for the writers we cut back to Kick chasing Grandpa in his motor wheel chair and stop because Kick is not quite in shape as he should be for his age. He then notices that he is next to the conviently placed bicycle as the man proclaims that he can win a free t-shirt if he wants to test the X5000. Kick gets inspired. Dammit; I knew that bicycle would get involved somehow in this one. So we see Kick riding down the mall in the X5000 and Wade is in the perfect position to be given the free t-shirt by Kick. And it's a perfect fit too. See; Kick can be a generous one too. Wade naturally thanks him as Kick rides and manages to catch up with the old man and grab the suit. The old man then proves that he has such a one track mind that he would easily fail a Turning Test. See; my lurking on Respectful Insolance has paid off as they ramp off the fountain and somehow manage to ride inside the steel globe display. Damn; I knew this one would get overbooked somehow. Tug of war ensues as the globe falls off the fountain and rolls as somehow a teenage boy reading about the Earth's Axis manages to get his lunch without getting crushed. Lucky dude indeed. The globe rolls down the mall as Denise is still looking for something and gets confused as to the earthquake like qualities of rolling a steel globe down a mall hallway. Then we cut to a pet store as a man in a hamster suit is offering a sale and he gets run in and he runs inside the globe. Yeap; this is getting overbooked now; and it's time to mercy kill this episode. Then we float into the blowing fan and rise into some skydiving lessons. I betcha that the next spot involves the Cheetah Chug booth.

Before we head to that; we see Denise proclaiming that she's done as she walks towards the lineup; but then she notices the garter socks displays and is distracted again. Whatever as we head back to the carnage outside as the globe floats into the air and everyone ejects from it. The skydiver opens the parachute; the hamster gets caught into the playhouse causing a girl to cry and the kids to scatter like scalded dogs. And the globe splats right onto it's original position causing Wade to pratfall on his face. This causes the old man and Kick to fly right onto the second floor as Kick manages to unhook the suit and flips into the air as the wheelchair crashes into the floor of the store right in front of an older man in a cane as he blows him off for being a punk kid. HAHA! We then see Denise at the checkout line wondering where Kick is and Kick flips right behind her with the suit perfectly intact.

Denise is HAPPY to see him as Kick delivers the suit on time as he promised. Denise is so proud of him that she picked up something else as Denise pays for the suit and they both leave. Kick is not amused as Denise gives him a coupon for a free supply of Cheetah Chug for a year. Kick is SHOCKED because the only way that could happen is if she knew Billy Stumps' middle name. Wait a second? That makes no sense whatsoever since the Cheetah Chug booth is OUTSIDE and therefore Denise should have seen Kick. Stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID! Did I mention stupid? Denise proclaims the obvious as they somehow teleport onto the first floor of the mall and walk towards the exits. Oh lord; why ruin a decent episode with this stupidity? Denise asks about Harold's underwear and Kick is repulsed by it. Now the short should be over; but we have 15 seconds left so we head to the chruch as Kick and Kyle (Kyle is in the black suit) as Kyle is talking a mile a minute while Kick is holding the pillow with the diamond ring on it.

Kyle is voiced by Tom Kenny and according to the USIMDB: Tom Kenny grew up in East Syracuse, New York. When Tom was young he was into comic books, drawing funny pictures and collecting records. Tom turned to stand-up comedy in Boston and San Francisco. This led to appearances on every cable show spawned by the stand-up epidemic of the 80's and 90's as well as stints on "The Dennis Miller Show" (1992), "The Pat Sajak Show" (1989), "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" (1993) and "Late Night with David Letterman" (1982). Tom was a regular on Fox TV's "The Edge" (1992) and spent a year as the host of NBC's "Friday Night Videos" (1983). His mainstream television appearances include "Brotherly Love" (1995) and David Alan Grier's sitcom debacle, "The Preston Episodes" (1995). Tom supplies the voice for "Heffer" the cow on Nickelodeon's "Rocko's Modern Life" (1993) and Nickelodeon's "SpongeBob SquarePants" (1999), as well as regular performances on The Cartoon Network's "Dexter's Laboratory" (1996), "Justice League" (2001), "The Powerpuff Girls" (1998), and "Johnny Bravo" (1997). Tom joined the cast of "Mr. Show with Bob and David" (1995) where he met his future wife Jill Talley. Together they've teamed up on Comedy Central's "The Mark Thomas Comedy Product" (1996), the stage show "The Show With Two Heads", HBO's "Not Necessarily the Election" (1996), the Smashing Pumpkins' "Tonight, Tonight" video and Travis "Sing" video.

He debuted in 1982 with An Evening At The Improv and was B in How I Got Into College in 1989. Sknookums & Meat Funny Cartoon was his DTVA debut believe it or not. He also appears in Hercules as Phantasos, Lilo & Stitch The Series, Dave The Barbarian, The Buzz On Maggie, Brandy & Mr. Whiskers as Ed, Kim Possible, Handy Manny and Phineas & Ferb. God Bless America, Transformers 3: Dark of Moon, and the new Winnie The Pooh movie as Rabbit; among other; are his most recent credits. He has 254 titles to his resume; 35 self credits and has a claim of being executive producer for 2 Yu-gi-oh episodes.

We then fade to black and return with Gunther at the LAMEST AWESOME STUNT EVER AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Gunther checks his watch and we head to the Umbrella Store as we see the old man has somehow fixed his ride as he arrives and notices the vandalism. He yells at the punk kids again just to make sure the full joke is paid off to end the short at 10:20 approx. Decent episode marred by several logic breaks. At least now they are paying off the jokes properly for a change making it less of a clustermuck; but the Cheetah Chug thing broke logic beyond belief. Call it ** 1/2 (50%) because hell; I feel generous today. The writers tried hard not to suck and they almost succeeded in not sucking.


I wondered what Kick Buttowski would be like if the writers actually cared about character development and storyline building instead of randomness and gross out humor. Kickin Genes provided me with a great answer as it felt like a classic DTVA episode short in the buildup to Denise's short comeback as a daredevil motorboat racer. Sure; there were a few instances of rumor humor and of course the horrible sight of Gunther butt naked. However; this wasn't a cluster muck as the story made sense; Denise was awesome and Kick Buttowski finally got over and became the selfless being that he should have been right from the start. I liked the finish and loved the ending too since it was the right booking decision and Kick showed respect for his mother which is something very rare in animation nowadays. Good for Kick; I just hope he doesn't piss it all away now that he is finally likable.

Well; it didn't take long for Kick to go back to his sucking ways in Clothes Call. Although; unlike most times, the episode short itself wasn't a total cluster muck as they kept the bad spots to a minimum and actually give us a buildup that made sense for the most part and they paid off the old man completely without breaking any logic or reason. The whole storyline was silly as heck and Kick's whining sounded contrived and forced after Kickin Genes and basically allowed Kick to lose his overness quickly. Also the whole Cheetah Chug coupon thing made no sense since we NEVER saw Denise leave the store at any point; so how did she get the coupon? As for Kyle; he sounds all right; but I have not seen his first appearance in season one except for a few clips and I cannot get a reading on his character enough just yet. Although his mile a minute talking is going to get really annoying fast if he doesn't reel it in soon. The rest of it was simply hit or miss. So we end up with a middle of the road short which is all you could ask for considering who is writing it.

So that's all of the English episodes of Kick Buttowski for now. So next up is finishing up Fish Hooks, starting with Riding In Cars With Fish which will allow me to transfer it with Pamela Hamster Returns. Then it's Milo's Big Idea/Mascotophe to follow on Canada Day. As for Gummi Bears; I have finally found an English version for The Magnificent Seven Gummies (and a number of other episodes to boot) elsewhere that isn't from VBOX7 (which is too slow to work); so that will be the first Gummi Bears episode to be ranted on in Mid July. So.....

Thumbs in the middle for Mow Money, thumbs up for Love Stinks and I'll see you next time.

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