Return to 50 Webs
Disclaimer#1: All images, characters and material is (C) 1990/1991 Walt Disney Company and is being used without permission. The web master has made sure that no money was made in the creation of this web page and that all material used here is used with the up most affection and respect to the Walt Disney Company and the Tale Spin Team.
Disclaimer#2: The views expressed here are solely the views of the web master and no one else. The web master has no intentions to change anyone's minds about a particular subject and respects the views of the viewers. Comments about this and other editorial can be E-Mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or signing the Cloudkicker guest book.
Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
Truth Or Daredevil Rant
I Dare Kick To Try To Be Likable!
Merry Christmas everyone; or whatever holiday you celebrate, or TWO WEEKS OFF~! I had a hard choice to make concerning which rant I would do for the Christmas special: Do a full 22 minute episode; or do the Halloween shorts. Personally; it wouldn't really matter because none of them were really interesting to me, so I decided to deal with just one episode today which means I do Kick meets his grandfather. Plus; Mr. Icy Roads has returned outside, so I cannot walk outside either. So let's continue on shall we...?
This episode is written by Derek Dressler. The storyboards are done by Troy Adomitis, Chuck Klein and Mike Kunkel. The direction is done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. All episodes are done in Flash of course.
Opening Moment #1: The title card shows a motorcycle with a side carriage in red.
We begin this one with a sign featuring ducks in ducts. HA! The company's name is The Ductator. Motto: We Keep Your Ducts All In A Row. Okay; that is a neat catchphrase. We zoom out to see Mr. Vickie thanking a green uniform salesman with black curly hair and a mustache. The salesman is confused because he cannot find the old ducts; and his assistant...who we cut to Brad dressed up as a worker using the wrench (which is the symbol on the green hats) to create a duct system with water flowing into the sewers. We pan up only to discover that Kick Buttowski created this with a garden hose as he has a waterslide. You wish you could thrill people like Magic Mountain Kick. Gunther and Kick are on top as this is summer fun to Kick. Kick jumps on top; and then the waterslide crumbles down. HA! Gunther rethinks his decision to be next. We cut to the ground as Kick pops from the carnage with google eyes. Denise tells Kick to stop screwing around because it's time for Brianna pageant marathon of death which Kick instantly complains about. Denise tells him that he's not going to the pageant; which Kick breathes a sigh of relief, until Denise tells him that he's going to see Grandpa and Kick complains again. Considering that I like seeing my Grandfather (or I would if he was still alive); this annoys me. I don't think Hollywood realizes how false this hatred for old people is. Then again; I thought Joe McGee and Whistlestop Jackson were excellent elders, so it might be my bias acting up again.
Denise asks what Kick has against Grandpa and Kick claims that his voice is weird, dresses the same and his ass sticks out. Denise gleefully answers that for me. Memo to Kick: If you don't get what Denise is saying, it translates to this: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Projection much there Kick Buttowski? Kick calls that doubtful. We then segue into Grandpa's living room as Kick and his Grandpa look at each other like they are sulking. HAHA! Nothing in common at all eh Kick? Grandpa is your typical stereotypical pattern balding, grey hair man with a brown short, grey pants, black shoes and glasses. In other words; quite boring. Sure; my grandfather wasn't the most amusing thing in the world in terms of looks (hey when you're 80 years old; even boring doesn't sound so bad), he was really amusing. I cannot tell you how though; that's a secret I'm taking to my grave. Grandpa is voiced by Ed O'Neill who did some uncredited cameo roles for All My Children and MASH in the 1970's. Then we was officially credited in 1980 in the movie Cruising and The Dogs Of War. He did mostly cameos on television shows; but starred in several major movies including K-9 as Brannigan, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane as Lt. Amos, Wayne's World 2 as Glen and the Bone Collector as Decective Pauline. However; we really know him as Al Bundy in Married With Children. Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut. He has 56 credits to his resume; not including 38 Self credits. Modern Family as Jay Pritchett is his most recent credit.
Anyhow; Grandpa Ed (Unless they give him an actual name; I'll give him Ed as an indication of who is voicing him) offers to play Chinese Checkers and Kick refuses. Clock ticks away and Kick offers to skateboard with him and Ed refuses of course. Clock ticks away as we zoom out to Denise at the door proclaiming that she'll be back tonight; and not to have too much fun. Neither one cares, Denise is not amused and closes the door. Grandpa Ed asks if he wants anything to eat and he has oatmeal mush, carrot mush and awesome mush. Kick eyes light up; but it's only oats and carrot mush mixed together. Kick asks for non-mush and Ed has none and shows off his dentures. So the dentures are only decoration? Why should I be surprised of this crap? We waste more time as Kick and Grandpa sit down and fart. Grandpa is the honest one and Kick is the dishonest one. More wasting time and sorry kids; this is NOT funny as Grandpa breathes hard to annoy Kick. Normally I would be for this; but the closeups of Ed's teeth leave a foul taste in my mouth. And a closeup of his nose hairs do not help at all either. Ed thinks Kick thinks of him as old, boring and gross. The first two yeah; but gross? Hardly. You never saw Gunther naked Ed, I have. Ed thinks Kick wants to take it outside. Kick likes this and after about five ways to butter up Kick; Ed wants him to help him clean the garage. HA! Kick groans as usual. Well; we can check off boring off the list.
So we head to Ed's garage as Kick is doing all the work while Ed just sits on the parcel boxes. HA! IN YOUR FACE KICK BUTTOWSKI~! You thought I forgot that eh? Ed tells him that the box goes with the Thingnus as Kick drops the box and a B&W picture falls out. Kick grabs it and discovers that Ed was a motorcycle rider wearing a lot of army stuff. Ed grabs the picture and admits that he joined the milatary a long time ago. Kick checks the box some more and finds a gold medal which is awarded for bravery behind enemy lines (and it's written on the medal too and Kick repeats it) and Ed proclaims that he was the best because he was a spy..and then blows it off and leaves because Kick doesn't want to hear it. Kick proves him wrong and even more so by working faster to clean up the garage. So Ed sits down and talks about overthrowing a dangerous dictator. Kick claims Denise told him that Ed was a delivery boy and Ed admits that he was; but that was only the beginning. So we cue the flashback as Ed (basically the 1930's version of Kick; with goggles) is delivering papers and throwing them on various neighbour proaches. And then he gets sacked on the bicycle and his bicycle falls down.
Then we see Young Ed waking up and sees a African American dressed in general gear (Wonder if that was a BS&P decision?) as the general that they had only a laundry sack, implying that it was the Great Depression back then. It's clear the general is Rock Callahan due to the voice acting, the fact that Dwright Howard was hosting this episode the first time it aired, and the neck stretch when one of his black buddies asks for the password in the next scene. Yes; Ed accepted the mission cart blanche to go behind enemy lines. The windows open up and the country in question is Tankinistan (I think that is what it the country is called; it's hard to notice on the video). On the easel board there is a picture and it's clearly Brad wearing the Nazi cap and uniform. He has to get a package behind enemy lines and head to an air strip outside of the enemy lines and head to Mellowbrook. Ironically; Ed calls Nazi Brad a dillweed before catching himself, cannot forget that. The stuff in question is called Jaguar Juice, a powerful rocket fuel. Basically; the poisonous version of Cheetah Chug. Made from the farts of Jaguars of course. The enemy will win the war; if Kick Ed fails, and Ed Kick salutes him because he can be counted on. So General Rock and Ed Kick leave to the air hangers as we see mechanic Wade (seriously; this is turning into the alternative world version of Kick Buttowski) fixing an airplane and he shows them the only motorcycle left and there it is in full profile. And it's rusted as Wade apparently did the Strongman Homer routine on Ed Kick. HAHA! Ed Kick frowns of course as General Rock proclaims that at least the tires are inflated. Sadly; they burst and the motorcycle is on fire.
Mech Wade claims that he can have this repaired in a flash; which is equal to three hours. Eh; still faster than fixing Bonesaw; so screw Kick. So we segue to Wade uncovering the bike after repairs and Ed Kick isn't impressed because it's exactly the same. Ummm; no it's not. The rust is gone, the tires are fixed and it didn't combust. Wade agrees with me; but ignores it because he added AM radio, a depenser for mouth wash which he demonstrates. Rock and Kick clap as Wade reveals the piece de resistance; which the seat is an ass warmer. HAHA! And even in the 1930's we do the jackhammer and sing song of the butt warmer with British/American colors. Well; it was the slient movie era; so I can forgive them for this. Although it would have worked better if the female voice didn't sing. So Kick tries the motorcycle on as Rock gives him the map, and states that he'll say the password only once, and he says it, but the Janitor from Frame Story returns to screw Kick with his noisey BUFFER OF MICHAEL. Don't you just hate it when that happens?! Rock ignores it anyway and slaps Kick's ass and Kick drives away on the motorcycle into the wilderness. Wade hopes he doesn't push the red button; and of course he does because Wade's pants fall down. It makes no sense; but whatever.
So we narrate some more and we are in the sky on an airplane as Ed explains that they threw him out of a plane. This has to be a serious rib on Kit Cloudkicker; made possible by the folks who thought Kit was the second most inappros character ever, next to only Pedobear. They could both be one in the same for all we know. Ed gets kicked out and freefalls of course. Kick is amazed and Ed pretty much explains it for me as he orders Kick to get back to work. Kick does as we return to the flashback of doom to a castle of Nazi Brad as we head to Nazi Brad's office as Lt. Chip Green and Colonel 3D are guarding their jackass leader. Lt. Chip Green brings in a basket of puppies and he puts them on the desk as ordered. Nazi Brad proclaims that he'll deal with them later (probably to kick them, HAR, HAR!) and cue evil laugh. Nazi Brad spins a globe proclaiming world domination and I believe this is the first use of the "axis of evil" phrase in a DTVA production. Then we discover that the globe is a balloon and it bursts on Brad's finger (I see balloons weren't made solid in this era either) and we look out the window to see an airplane flying in. Discret is not America's style isn't it? Then again; America seemed to come into war at very convenient times don't they? Brad uses the binoculars and notices Ed Kick and orders Chip Green and 3D to capture the spy and bring him to Brad. They leave, cue evil laugh from Brad and confusion. Then he notices the basket of puppies and the puppies are now seriously (insert swear word here.)
Thankfully; Disney has enough sense to cut back to Ed Kick freefalling as he cuts his parachute and lands on the parachute motorcycle and starts the engines in mid-air which is cool. Ed offers Kick the advice too since it lands on a cool field without incident. I would also say that if you start the engine on grass; it will cause a brushfire and you burn to ashes, but that works well enough. Ed Kick rides and Chip Green runs in and invokes the LEGAL HAND OF GOD to make Ed Kick stop. Chip Green and 3D demand answers on who sent Ed Kick and Ed Kick and claims that he works for no one and makes them eat dust stage right. So we get the SCOOBY DOO CHASE SEQUENCE THE NAZI MOTORCYCLE EDITION~! We ride off the cliff and Chip Green orders 3D to get the big guns; so 3D invokes the bazooka which spits out a net and Ed Kick gets netted and stopped in the process. 3D and Chip Green demand answers and Ed Kick no sells because they are between a barbed wire fence and they eat mud as Ed Kick throws the net away. Apparently; Ed Kick is on the right side of freedom. That takes a new meaning today; mark my words. They speed off and the chase must continue in town. He goes through the baker's shop and squishes all of his bread into French bread which the baker blows off. Ed Kick goes through the back door and more chasing in the village as Ed Kick finds the building where the chemist is. Did I mention that they showed the map and route Ed Kick took? Did I mention that the chemist lab is owned by a guy who looks like Gunther and only with a blond beard? Did I mention that Scooby Doo chase sequences are good when they save time on my rants?
Okay; let's move on...So we head inside the lab as Gunther who is about to pour a green test tube of liquid on his hair because he thinks it's hair remover. And in comes Ed Kick on the motorcycle who breaks down the door. Even in the 1930's Kick world; the stuff is still NOT UP TO CODE! He splatters green stuff all over Gunther and all his hair is removed and he's just Gunther in his suit from Clean...To The Extreme; without the baseball cap. Obvious logic break: If that is hair remover; then the stuff on his head should have made him bald like a cueball. Ed Kick stops the motorcycle as Ed Kick closes the door and wants the package. Gunther no sells because Ed Kick has to give the secret password. Ed Kick tries to explain; but a hard piece of bear shatters through the window (Really guys?) and nails Gunther in the stomach and he falls down and does a dramatic oversell thinking he was shot with a bullet. Wow; at least you can still say bullet in DTVA; but this is downright silly. Make worse by the fact that Gunther is eating the hard roll while selling. Ed Kick grabs on and notices that they are biscuits which were thrown by the baker. Okay; that makes sense; but the logic break of soft dough shattering a window is still a logic break just the same. Oh; and Kick's swear promo is the secret password. I was hoping it would be Dillweed; just for a cheap laugh. This was cheap; but not in a good way.
Ed Kick wants the package; but Gunther plops into Ed Kick's lap because he's the package and the formula is inside his head. Heh. The baker throws in the hard rolls as Gunther backs up against the wall and nearly gets hit with the dreaded BREAD STICKS OF DOOM. So Ed Kick and Formula Gunther race out of the chemist lab on the motorcycle as the baker blows him off some more. We then pan to Chip Green and 3D overhearing this secret formula and wants to tell Nazi Brad. 3D seems more occupied with the rolls though. So we go to the map as Ed explains that he's headed to the landing strip as he goes through the mountains and in corn fields, meadows and polar ice caps as shown. We then head to reality (no, not really) as Kick blows him off for that. Ed claims that he only did it to see if Kick was paying attention. Nah; I believe you did blast a polar ice cap Ed. We know it's a setup for a joke later on. I think. Kick walks away with another package as Ed thought they are in the clear, but they were not. We head to a gas station as Ed Kick fills up and Formula Gunther wonders what will happen to him if they get caught. Kick thinks that they will use needles or pilers. FG doesn't like that. Well; you should only be so lucky Gunther, it could be THE FEATHERS~! Ed Kick notices a woman wearing the same clothes Gunther wore at the beginning of The Treasure of Dead Man Dave in a store dialing a telephone. She looks like Miss Chickerelli and Formula Gunther claims she's Finky McTellsALot. That last name is not a good sign for these two losers.
Anyhow; Finky hangs up the phone and gives the cut throat sign to Ed Kick and Ed Kick gets this as trouble. Formula Gunther is in shock as Ed Kick speeds away towards the air field. I'm shocked that the new Disney would allow that. The NFL fines players for that gesture. So Ed Kick makes to the air strip and drives into the back of the airplane and it closes up. Ed Kick thinks he's won; but by the tone of Ed's narration and the fact that we are only halfway through this episode; I would say that Ed Kick is screwed. And I'm right as 3D and Chip Green grab Kick and Nazi Brad is in the navigator's chair putting the plane on autopilot by pressing the red button. Sadly; Ed Kick's pants do not fall down; which would have paid off the joke on Wade in a shred of irony. Nazi Brad proclaims that he'll get the formula from FG and America is going down. I thought it already did when they got their asses kicked in 1812 by Canada? Ed Kick proclaims that they can torture him; but they will never get the formula from him. Brad agrees with him and brings out another red button and pushes it to open the bomb bay door. Ed Kick gets thrown out and freefalls as Brad wants him to splat. Cue evil laugh as Brad orders Formula Gunther to be tied up and Formula Gunther shakes like a leaf as Brad calls him a meatball and walks back to the cockpit. We then cut to Ed Kick freefalling and we stop the footage and jackhammer a cliff hanger in red letter. Oh please; save that crap for Phineas & Ferb. I can just hear Candice now....
Candice: MOM! Phineas & Ferb are doing a cliffhanger sequence!
Sounds better on that show then this one eh? That ends the segment a little over 11 minutes in. I don't know; it sounds okay so far.
After the commercial break; we break logic as boxes fall (when they didn't earlier) and Ed Kick freefalls from the plane. Kick asks Ed about the situation and then catches himself and said he's in control but freefalling. He splats into the forest and is knocked out on the ground. He was in enemy ground as someone grabs his arm and carries him. Ed Kick wakes up and he is tied up on a bed in a room with a hundred pictures of him splattered on the wall. Ed claims that things are going to get worse as a shadow figure arrives. Oh boy; we all know who is behind that shadow, don't we? Please go insane on Ed Kick; that's all I ask of you! And she's wearing a matching outfit; how sweet of her. We'll call her Jackolin The Stalker for argument sake. She's Ed Kick's number one fan...and Kick interrupts as we head back to reality (no, not really) as Kick asks why he was tied up. Ed pretty much answers it for me as in the background, Jackie waves hello on her bicycle to Kick. HAHA! And she crashes into a trashcan and rides the other way with the trashcan on her head. And yes; the cat scream sound effect gets used here of course. HEE HEE! Kick is not amused as Ed said that is the dame as we return to Ed Kick tied up and Jackolin is nose to nose with Ed Kick as she is the piece of the resistance. Ed Kick is surprised to hear that as we discover that the airplane doubles as a treehouse with a ladder. HAHA! I'm SHOCKED TaleSpin didn't have a scene like that. Ed Kick likes it and wants Jackolin to fly her to the enemy base. And Jackolin goes insane and flip flaps on a chair. HAHA!
Jackolin is on her ass on the floor as Ed Kick wants her to cool down. Ed Kick isn't asking her to fly him; he just want to be let go so he can go finish his super secret spy mission. Jackolin no sells; unless Ed Kick agrees to take her with him. Ed Kick refuses of course. Nothing in common with Ed huh Kick?! However; it doesn't matter how difficult becasuse Ed Kick runs in the woods with Jackolin on his back. HAHA! They make it to the cliff and Ed Kick calls it a dead end. Jackolin points out that the base is over the cliff in between those little dots as a tiny dot. HAHA! See how good an episode is when Jackie/Jackolin is carrying it on her back?! Ed Kick ponders how to get there (since it would take days); and we get Krackpotkin plan #1: The Starfi Army handglider. We return to Kick asking about the handglider and Ed brings it out of the box and assembles it. He made it out of pants see and Kick asks where he got the pants. Of course we all know this is a setup to show who was enabling Kick to steal stuff from others. In this case it was German Von Vickie's pants (he was fishing with a fish basket natch). And Vickie does the groin grab even though he is still wearing an undershirt. Whatever.
So we head into the sky with the handglider as Jackolin is giddy in a handglider and Ed Kick tells her that it's flying. And then she goes completely bats*** insane on Ed Kick. HAHA! She panics as Ed Kick asks her to calm down. Jackolin screams; but admits that an engagement ring would help; and then screams again. HAHA! Sadly; Ed Kick ruins the buzz by stuffing his gloves in Jackolin's mouth to shut her up. BOO! HISS! They make it over the base as we see the soliders marching like Nazi's and Jackolin steals Ed Kick's goggles and throws them down into the marching soldiers who gleefully ignore it. The handgilder comes down and they land in front of the bushes on their asses. Jackolin is giddy; but Ed Kick hears a noise and both bail behind the bushes as 3D and Chip Green arrive with rifles. They look...Wait a second?! THEY'RE CARRYING REAL GUNS?! Didn't see that one coming at all. Man; you learn a lot about the new Disney when you are actually WATCHING the shows and not listening from the appeal to authority. Jackolin is talking loud just to amuse me and screw Ed Kick; and then runs in front and taunt Chip Green and 3D. I wish Jackie was anthroed and a character in TaleSpin. She would make my day; and Kit's day would be crazier than he already makes it. Jackolin bails and the heels run after her because they were taunted. I'm fine with that.
Sadly; since Ed Kick is the focus character here we have to continue with him and his fugly mug. Oh wait; they continue the chase and Jackolin bumps into the fatass general of the marching squad and she gets surrounded and carried away, both ways. She wants a lawyer and a sidebar. They wish she called for a shrink; that would be apporos. Ed Kick pops out and uses the grappling hook to climb up a wall and jumps onto the window sill. Ed Kick notices the motorcycle and climbs onto the ceiling rafters as we cut to Nazi Brad sitting down at a table with dinner with Formula Gunther tied to a chair. FG no sells the threats to talk. Nazi Brad wants him to spill the beans; or he'll do the spilling for him. FG tells him to do his worst. Nazi Brad then sits down and has dinner. Yeah; because tickle torture is dead in the new DTVA. Actually it was dead and buried after Polly Wants A Treasure. Something about sticking a feather in Kit's groin region (unintentionally of course) didn't sit well with BS&P. I'm guessing that Formula Gunther surrenders as quickly as France does. Apparently; chewing with your mouth open is torture nowadays. I shake my head on how much of a wuss Gunther is. Sadly; the rafter is about as stable as the one in Flight School and Ed Kick swings like Tarzan down and destroys the table.
Ed Kick lands on the motorcycle and Nazi Brad doesn't like this at all. Cannot say I blame him. He claims that Brad is lousy or he is aces. I pick Brad is lousy which makes sense considering the burial of the real world Brad. So Ed Kick grabs tied up Formula Gunther and we bail stage left. Ed Kick invokes the red button and it sprays the LISTORINE OF DEATH into Brad's eyes and he oversells the burning minty fresh. Okay that was funny; could have been funnier if his pants fell down before he flops to the ground. Ed Kick goes to the door and of course Chip Green and 3D block it with their rifles. So Ed Kick circle around and sprays the LISTORINE OF DEATH on them and they don't quite oversell. It's funny how 3D sells it despite having 3D glasses on and thus should not have make contact in the eyes. Obvious logic break there guys. At least have his pants fall down. More motorcycling as Brad has them cornered; but Ed Kick sees the conveniently placed grates and he jumps onto the cycle; invokes the grappling hook and grabs Formula Gunther and opens the grate into the vent system. So Brad wants the graden hose of death as we see Ed Kick and Formula Gunther crawling inside and the hose gets inserted into the vent and we spray water into it. We flood and struggle in the vent system for a while and then Ed Kick gets on Formula Gunther and uses him as a personal floatation device. HA! At least it's nice to know that the writers DO listen to my ideas.
So Ed Kick thinks they found the way out; but more hoses get inserted and we spray even more water. We almost drown and do the whirlpool spot on the drain as FG and EK get flushed, which is only to set up the joke as we return to reality to see Kick putting boxes down and Ed returns from the bathroom and calls it a sweet release. He has a yellow cloth that he cleaned his hands with and we return back inside the room as Brad looks on while FG and EK pop out and spit out water. HA! Chip Green and 3D grab Ed Kick and force him on the floor as Nazi Brad laughs like an evil dictator. The goons want Nazi Brad to MURDER Mr. Ed Dillweed and Nazi Brad pounds his fist in his hands and doesn't have to be asked twice. So Ed Kick blows off Nazi Brad for being a coward, and Nazi Brad calls off the dogs and let's Ed Kick up. They leave. Oh lord; how stupid can you be. Nazi Brad is a cowardly heel. He cheats and acts like a coward. Why suddenly become the fair one; most so since he's a freakin dictator?! I club BS&P! Staredown with widescreen shots of fugly faces ensue and then Brad screams complete with explosion jackhammer and runs in. Ed Kick runs in and here we go with another stupid fight involving Fairly Odd Parent's jackhammering to force the point. Knee Day, Eye Want You (A poke in the eyes complete with Marix move), punches dodged, Ed Kick gets thrown into the wall (Wall of Duty. Three guesses to who they parody and the first two don't count.), Brad laughs at the wrong time and gets MURDERED by swinging Ed Kick (Duct & Cover- whatever.).
Brad is knocked out and Ed Kick grabs Formula Gunther (who cheers badly) and we plop FG in the motorcycle and we ride off backwards thanks to FG warning Ed Kick of Nazi Brad running in and punching himself in the face. And of course the goon squad remembers to block the doors to outside with their rifles. When 3D and Chip Green are smarter than you Brad; it's time to get some new goons. So Ed Kick drive around and smashes through the wall. This pretty much renders about three minutes of episode time pointless. Par for the course in this cartoon. And that wall is NOT UP TO CODE either! So we motorcycle around the ground, crashing into various things to waste time, including glass. And we get the bowling spot on the soliders in case they forgot that one too. Kick finds his goggles on the ground and picks them up on the rebound. So Ed Kick tries to ride out; but then hears cat sounds and it's Jackolin annoying the two soliders carrying her. Formula Gunther shrugs and Ed Kick turns around and grabs Jackolin on the rebound with the heels chasing them. Of course the two soliders carrying her seem happy anyway. Jackolin then does what I want her to do: Go you know what on Ed Kick! HAHA! She wants to marry him too which is even better. FG looks at the gate and there is no way out; so Ed Kick must make one.
So we do the crashing spots in reverse order (and a new pane of glass for good measure) as the banana drop down and the heels slip on them and go splat on the ground. Ummm; Mythbusters demonstrated that banana peels DO NOT make good slipping devices. Get over it writers of the world. Ed Kick finds the conveniently placed ramp and flies over the gate and drops down to the road and rides away. Ed Kick thinks it's over and then we hear rumbling and the wooden gate breaks through (another pointless spot; what a shock?) as the BIG BERTHA TANK OF DEATH returns and is controlled by Nazi Brad. Cue evil laugh as he shoots like crazy. Yes; he's using real shells, but they changed the sound effects to make it sound like a tube sound. The motorcycle circles around Nazi Brad and there is more shooting. We spin the turret and shoot with glee; but Brad coughs and stops to realize that he created a platform that looks rotten to the core. The platform collapses and Nazi Brad freefalls and apparently gets crushed by the earth. So the motorcycle finds the stolen plane (thanks Formula Gunther) as Brad tries to get up and the motorcycle enters the tailsection of the plane. We then cut to the seat as Jackolin is sitting down and no selling Ed Kick as Ed Kick demands her to fly the plane. Jackolin no sells since she wants Ed Kick's hand in marriage. Ed Kick claims that he's serious and so is she. HAHA! Ed Kick wants her to fly and then he'll consider it. That's enough for Jackolin to accept the terms and we see the engines start and begin to roar. I feel like I'm in a human "TaleSpin". AHHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmmmm...
They ride around trying to lift off as Ed Kick, Formula Gunther and Jackolin are in the cockpit as Jackolin asks for "Maybe" invitations. Ed Kick panics because Nazi Brad has brought out his secret weapon which is the dreaded bazooka. Yeah sure Brad, that really worked well with the goon squad. Ed Kick wants Jackolin to dodge; but Jackolin gets all pissed off and floors it good. Brad tries to fire the bazooka; but it literally backfires like a Thembrian weapon. Never buy your weapons from Thembria, Brad. Nothing good comes out of it. The plane flies into the air and MURDERS Brad in the process. Ed Kick wants the plane turned around as Brad calls on his transmitter to the base for reinforcements; but the missile of course lands on the base and MURDERS it in a nuclear explosion. Memo to Brad: Never use a nuclear missile to take down a plane. Nothing good comes out of it. The plane repeats the spot and Brad is caught on the wheels and we fly into the sky and it's Mission Complete! And yes; they Fairly Odd Parent Jackhammered it too. So we get a shot of the American flag and see the plane in a tree of course before zooming out to our heroes and General and his troop thanking Ed Kick for a job well done. Rock gives him the medal (which has a star on the front to break more logic) for bravery and Ed Kick gives him one more present as he kicks the tree and out drops Nazi Brad tied up and gagged. So Ed narrates the ending as Formula Gunther pours in the gas known as Jaguar Juice (they jackhammer it too) as Ed Kick and his army of motorcycle riding army with airplane Jackolin flying towards something...
...which we never see because we return to reality (no, not really) as Ed proclaims that the Jaguar Juice won them the war. That must have been the shortest war ever because (A) Ed already captured the dictator himself and (B) Nazi Brad pretty much killed his army with the nuclear shell when the bazooka backfired. So the ending sequence is pretty much rendered pointless. Kick is downright impressed as Ed takes the picture from out of nowhere and states that this proves that Kick didn't know him. Ed admits that Kick didn't want to be here; so he wants to give him a token of his asteem and he uncovers the rusted motorcycle. Kick thinks it's his and Ed blows it off because that is his transportation. Kick gets to have Ed's goggles as a keepsake. Kick puts them on as Ed gets on the motorcycle as Kick get on the passenger side and Ed tells him it's time for the ride of his life. Hey; my grandfather drove a school bus; so this is pretty normal, sort of. Ed drives out and it stops on a dime since the thing is out of gas. Kick admits that he had a great time; but Ed claims that it's not over yet as he blows on a gas can and he has some leftover Jaguar Juice and pours it into the tank. Growling sounds ensue as Ed drives away from the camera and we fart to end the episode at 21:10 approx. Really slow start; but it got really good when Jackie's alter ego Jackolin crashed the party. Although the logic breaks were pretty glaring and a number of cool scenes were rendered pointless by silly cop outs. I'm pretty glad that Ed turned out to be on the level of TaleSpin's elders instead of Fanboy & Chum Chum's elders. Our parting shot features Kick and Ed riding on the motorcycle and Kick asks what the red button does and Ed apparently pushes it as we head to the Food -N- Fix garage as Wade's pants fall down. YES! They paid the joke off. Add a 1/4* to the rating as Wade swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (dang!) and that is that. **** (80%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; the first 22 minute episode of Kick Buttowski is in the books and it was very good. I got to admit; I like Ed when he's Kick a lot more than actual Kick; if only because he did it to save the world from an evil dictator. He reminded me more like Kit Cloudkicker without the heel past; and considering that Disney in general frowns on that character, to see it in somewhat watered down form is still great. It's too bad the buildup was rather slow and it didn't feel right for the first half because the second half got a lot better once Jackolin got into the picture and made it funny. Still; I do criticize the writers for penciling in spots that would have rendered otherwise cool moments pointless. Like the one where they go to the door and then circle around and go up the vent. Ed was clearly trying to get out and they rendered it all pointless by going through the wall; which they could have done to start out with. Same thing with getting over the gate. Cool spot; rendered pointless by the wooden gate that Brad bust through. Finally; while I liked Ed once he got going with his story as a spy; I still think he hyperbole the story a bit considering that he claimed the Jaguar Juice won them the war in spite of the fact that they pretty much won the war BEFORE they got the juice to General Rock since they captured the dictator and pretty much killed his army in the castle which Brad helped so much by using a defective bazooka. Great final sequence with them paying off the pulled down pants joke on Wade too. Overall; I am happy that Grandpa Ed O'Neill turned out to be a really good character and elder and one I did cheer for on a number of spots. So I can like him as a elder; that's also a thumbs up.
Since Christmas Day is tomorrow; the final Kick Buttowski episode I need to do will be done on Boxing Day which is Deadman's Roller Coaster and Kick Or Treat. After that; I'm going to take a break and do a lot of clean up because for me; there is going to be lots of changes after tomorrow. I'll explain those on Christmas Day. So.....
Thumbs up for this episode and I'll see you next time.
Back to New Disney Rants!
Return to the Rant Shack!
Return to the Unofficial Kit Cloudkicker Homepage!