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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Dude, Where's My Wade?/Bee Awesome Rant

Reviewed: 10/27/2013

Dude, Where Is This Awesomeness That You Speak Of?

So we have another episode of Kick Buttowski to do after all. Oh joy! No, not really. This episode's summary sezs it all: When Wade goes missing before the safety inspector's appointment at the Food 'n' Fix, Kick and Gunther follow a series of clues to track him down before the inspector shuts down their favorite convenience store. Yeah; so does the Food -N- Fix close down? Then we get another stray episode as Kick must take part in the annual spelling bee because the entire school came down with food poisoning including Kendell. Somehow; this cannot be Kick's fault, although this could easily be his handiwork. So let's continue on shall we...?

Dude, Where's My Wade is written by Derek Dressler and Patrick Andrew O'Conner. The storyboard is done by Troy Adomitis and Heather Martinez, the direction is done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Bee Awesome is written by Eric Rivera. The storyboards are done by Howie Perry and Chris Sonneberg and direction is done by Chris Savino. Episodes are done with Toon Boom like all episodes of this show.

First Note: As you probably have noticed; these episodes are in separate episode blocks because Disney is such a bastard and these were the only two episodes I could find that were not released on this website.

Opening Moment #1: Title card is shadow Kick and Gunther on the outside looking in from the FPS shot if you were looking on from inside the Food -N- Fix. Mostly orange signs and yellow sunlight outside. Nothing special.

Dude, Where's My Wade?: We begin this one at the Food -N- Fix as Kick and Gunther arrive on bicycle as it's 2:30 pm; and it's time for some food bagging. I have no idea what they are talking about here. They want to bag food for the customers? That's completely out of character for them. So they go in and the place is ransacked; and there is no Wade to be found. There are doughnuts on the ceiling; pink soda flowing on the floor from the counter and Gunther trips on a box which is labeled "foot bagging". Oh; I see what they were talking about, and now I wish I didn't. Anyhow; we hear sirens and we see a van that is labeled City Inspector who so happens to be a jack of all trades type of inspector. Out of the van comes a black man who seems to love his clipboard a bit too much; because he's shutting down businesses. He has already shut down an ice cream place because apparently; it's not safe to mix cookies and cream together. He also shut down a hardware store for not safely storing nails and even the hospital is shut down because he hates needles; so he's an anti-vax person. This is truly the definition of a heel inspector who should have been fired a long time ago. And yes; we do the Fairly Oddparents jackhammering of "Shutting Down" in a red stamp on the screen; and they say it. Although it makes sense to say it; since that is part of the joke. So he's at the Food -N- Fix to shut it down because he hopes to find doughnuts on the ceiling and stuff; and get Wade fired. This causes Kick and Gunther to panic as they are ajar to the door and Kick claims that the Food -N- Fix is the safest place in all no Mellowbrook. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Like I'm going to take that one seriously from someone who look like a poor man's version of Super Dave Osborne. Gunther claims that there are no doughnuts on the ceiling at all; so Kick shuts the door to shut him up. Kick wants them to go to String-Zee's because their puppets bite people and kick people; which the inspector calls absurd. And by the way; his name is Inspector Finecomb; which is ironic since most of what he found wrong is not found with a fine tooth comb. So...

Inspector Finecomb is voiced by J.B. Smoove and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Smoove has had recurring roles on Everybody Hates Chris and Saturday Night Live. On SNL, he worked as a writer (and had bit roles in sketches, including playing Jimmy "JJ" Walker in a parody of the 1970s sitcom Good Times) and was a recipient of the 2007 Writers Guild of America award for Best Comedy/Variety Series (Including Talk). Smoove's film credits include With or Without You, Pootie Tang, Mr. Deeds, Date Night, Hall Pass, The Sitter, We Bought a Zoo, The Dictator, and A Haunted House. He had a major role for seasons two and three on the Fox network sitcom 'Til Death with Brad Garrett and Joely Fisher. In June 2008, he taped several episodes of The Gong Show with Dave Attell as one of the celebrity judges. Smoove was also a cast member on the short-lived sketch comedy program Cedric the Entertainer Presents. Smoove hosted the standup comedy series Russell Simmons Presents: Stand-Up at The El Rey on Comedy Central in July 2010 and also appeared on an episode of The Simpsons titled Angry Dad: The Movie in February 2011. Also in 2011, he starred in the American Dad episode "The Worst Stan" and appeared in an episode of Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil called "Dude, Where's My Wade." Smoove has been a regular cast member on the HBO comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm since its sixth season in 2007, playing Leon Black. In 2012, his first televised comedy special, JB Smoove: That's How I Dooz It, premiered on Comedy Central. The DVD of the special was released April 3, 2012. Smoove will also lend his voice to Harold the nerdy monster in Monsters University. He was the substitute co-host of the New York City morning talk show Good Day New York with Rosanna Scotto on April 9, 2012. He had a cameo as a grave digger in the episode of Louie entitled "Barney/Never".

He also played a supporting role in Season 4, Episode 7 "The Vapora Sport" in the American sitcom "The League" on FX. He plays "Wheelchair Guy", whom the main characters have recurring comedic run-ins with.[3] He also plays one of the "Replacers" for Call Of Duty: Black Ops II. He began his career as a writer for Def Comedy Jam in 1995 and was a comedian for said show. He also wrote 60 episodes of Saturday Night Live and Funny As Hell. He started his acting career as Chucky in Lesser Prophets in 1997. Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut and currently his only known appearance. He has 47 acting credits, 36 Self credits, three writing credits and one producer credit (JB Smoove: That's How I Dooz It) to his resume. Clear History (Jasper), The Smurfs 2 (Hackus), Hell & Back (Sal The Demon), A Haunted House (Kisha's Dad), Movie 43 (Larry) and Coogan Auto (as Del) are his most recent credits. So Kick then states that there is a loose floorboard and that is enough for Finecomb to go back into the truck; and he informs us that he'll be back within 30 minutes and if there is anything wrong with the place; he'll shut it down for how long Terry Funk....

Gunther: ...My butt is wet.

So Finecomb leaves the gas station as Kick proclaims that we have thirty minutes to find Wade and save the Food -N- Fix from a comedy inspector. Now; remember that Finecomb has already seen the parking lot? Well; now there is pink soda all over the ground in front of the gas pump; right in plain sight of Finecomb; and he didn't do anything about it. So he's an idiot as well. I would have thought that the clues would be in the store only since that makes more sense. So they follow the pink soda footprints and notice Wade's cap dipped in some sauce; which Gunther takes the cap and licks some of the substance and does the fire alarm chili spot that no one cares about anymore. It's Roto sauce and it came from the Roto Taco Stand. So Wade went out for lunch about two hours ago. So we head to the Roto Taco Stand as there is a lineup; and a cowboy dude is at the counter of said stand. Kick and Gunther show a photo of Wade belching because Wade has no class; or something. No one has any idea until we see Emo Kid leaning against the wall; and he apparently knows how to do sketches on poster paper. So he's an artist. I'm certain the irony is completely lost on these writers to this. So we see on the poster that Wade was kidnapped by two fat ass thugs as Kick notices that Wade is shedding tears; which Emo Kid points out that it's his trademark skill; since he cannot cry since he's an emo. Whatever guys. We HIT THE FLASHBACK~! Wade gets kidnapped by two big bald thugs and thrown into the back of the truck; and his cap falls. I'm guessing that this happened when he returned to the Food -N-Fix; because this makes no sense otherwise. Gunther's flashback is exactly the same as Kick's; except that they are aliens and have a truck alien spaceship. Gunther's makes more sense as a flashback then Kick's for some reason that I cannot put my thumb on. We return to reality (no, not really) as Kick panics because Wade has been kidnapped and thus the safety inspector is the least of their problems. I disagree with that; trying to be likable is the biggest problem Kick Buttowski has right now.

Gunther thinks it's aliens and Emo Kid points his pen to the left and both goofballs bail stage left to find Wade. So we do the KB SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM and we see a building which teases having a tree on the rooftop; but then we see that it's behind the building because just after we see Kick on top of the tree; we see Gunther on the ground and is not on the building. So Gunther suggests calling Wade; as Kick has his cellphone and he dials up Wade. Kick gets an answer as it's the thugs who want a million dollar ransom which Kick blows off as he jumps down and then we discover that Gunther is the one who is demanding the ransom. HAHA! Kick blows him off for using Wade's phone which Gunther saw hiding behind the bushes. Kick demands to know why Gunther was demanding a ransom and Gunther wanted the money to find Wade. And then he cuts a milk promo out of nowhere and it goes the exact same place. Sigh. Wade has a text messenger on that phone as there is a text on it that reads "Danger Dude; please help me". That prompts another flashback from both Kick and Gunther as we see Wade being chased by the truck. I'll leave which one thinks is the thugs and which one thinks it's aliens. We return to reality (no, not really) as Oskar The Dressed Up Dog arrives with what appears to be a goofy looking baseball; but Kick claims that it's Wade's footbag. What is a footbag? I don't want to know actually. So of course they need it to find Wade and have to plea with Oskar (Jay Leno: Your dog is NOT going to wear that!); but he runs off and gets on the back of a truck which the back door is partially open. Where's Inspector Finecomb when you really need him? The truck drive away and Kick cannot reach it at all because he's a fat ass. So they huff and puff about losing Oskar; and then here comes Jackie The Stalker Whackerman with her camera aimed at Kick. HAHA! When you need to get stars from me; just have Jackie arrive and go insane on Kick Buttowski. Never fails to make me laugh. And she has full braces and lipstick on the lips to boot this time around.

Anyhow; I discover that it's a video camera; and so Jackie claims that she has seen the best non-Kick Buttowski stunt in history; and so we watch the footage on the camera as Jackie has created a hand puppet version of Kick Buttowski. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now that is going insane on Kick without actually having to touch Kick Buttowski anymore. Kick wants the footage to be fast forwarded and she claims that she got carried away. Riiiiigggggghhhhhtttttt. So then we got more footage of the cosplaying on the Kick hand from Jackie until we see Wade coming down the street which apparently; he found a shopping cart and crashed into a new billboard for Zaza or Zara's Pizza place; which was right in the pizza; if you catch my drift. Zaza is crying because he thought his billboard could not be broken; but it did with ease. Apparently; Wade was chasing Oskar for some reason with said shopping cart. So we continue with the footage as Jackie kisses her own hand to signal what she'll do if Kick Buttowski was around; and that is enough for Kick on that front. So the footage goes to fuzzies and we get the KB SCENE CHANGER OF DOOM and head to in front of the pizza billboard as Kick and Gunther call out for Wade; but no dice. Kick then decides that the only way to find Wade is to recreate the stunt Wade pulled off. Yeah; because if they don't do a stunt once in this show, kids will change the channel because execs have no confidence in kids. Or something like that. Anyhow; we scene change to a steep hill as Kick and Gunther use the shopping cart on top of the hill (and the shopping cart was laying on the ground next to the billboard; so there is no logic break); as Gunther claims that this might be lethal. I doubt that very seriously Gunther; considering the vast amount of stunts you and Kick have done in the past. So Gunther pushes the shopping cart down the hill with Kick in it. Kick sails into the billboard and misses the pizza part by a country mile because we just have to bury the pizza guy again; since he's an adult and the butt of all jokes.

So Kick whacks into a tree and drops down every branch; including doing the Sideshow Bob spot where he crotches himself on the steel pipe (or in this case a large tree branch) complete with the same reaction as that imfamous Simpsons episode where Sideshow Bob goes from being heel to face about 30 times while his brother is making him look bad. Kick lands on the branch and complains about his spleen despite getting nailed in the groin area. Yawn. Then Kick is blurry eyed and notices that Wade is stuck on a branch and they teased the whole spot of "Is it really Wade?" and then drops down onto the ground with a thud. Kick joins him in kind as Gunther runs in with his cap and gives it to Wade; as we see that it is Wade spitting out pine cones. So we exchange notes and then shadows of the two thugs come up from the bushes and everyone panics...except for Wade as he does some high fiving with them as apparently; they are his security crew. I guess that was a parting gift from the CEO in Wade Against The Machine. Gunther and Kick are confused and so we HIT THE FLASHBACK~! So we see Wade in the store doing some footbag stuff and causing a mess as the box of doughnuts somehow defy gravity right on cue when he leaves with the security crew bouncers. So we go to the taco stand and Wade has a chili wrap and no flamethrower spot ensues; so they play footbag to kill more time. Then in comes Oskar to steal the footbag and Wade goes after him as they find the shopping cart out of nowhere; and that leads to the hill as the two bouncers are pushing Wade who is in the shopping cart. I discover that the black haired one is Richard as he and the bald one argue about killing and good ideas and stuff; that the cart is unintentionally rode down the hill; and you can guess what happens next as the pizza guy's full name is Don Zaza from Don Zaza's Pizza: The Best Gabba Gooey. Whatever sir. Wade goes flying through the billboard and lands in the tree branches in front of the bird (and his nest) as his cellphone goes flying into the bushes. The bird steals his cap and flies over to the Food -N- Fix; burps and the hat falls right at the gas pumps.

So we return to reality (no, not really) as Wade did these flashback ripple sounds to amuse me as we discover that he did a text to Kick for help because he couldn't find his way home anyway. That is so silly since we never saw him text message anyone during that sequence. So the two bouncers return and they apologize for not getting the footbag back since Oskar is too fast to be catched. Wade takes this awfully well and thanks them for their service; in spite of the fact that their idea screwed everything up. Then we see the Inspector Finecomb van drive by stage left; as Kick and Gunther panic on cue, while Wade acts all confused. Yeah; he wasn't expecting him at all as Gunther proclaims that they'll never catch him in time. Kick then notices the shopping cart and if you cannot guess what happens next, you have no business reading this rant. So the shopping cart races down the hill and manages to jump right in front of the Food -N- Fix out of nowhere. Kick and Gunther head inside as Gunther panics because Finecomb will be here in three seconds; which is the amount of seconds Kick talks about being more than enough. You couldn't say thirty seconds Gunther? Because that is exactly how much time it takes to bring out the cleaning stuff and do the whole cleaning sequence as they stuff all the trash into a fridge which I bet the Inspector never sees because the plot requires Finecomb to walk in and give approval to the place and then leave. So Finecomb walks towards the door and then comes inside as he is giddy to shut this place down and fire Wade. So we see Finecomb walking around with his clipboard as he is apparently blind, deaf and dumb to the fact that the babyfaces are cleaning up the shop right in front of him and stuffing it into the fridge. So Kick shuts the door; and they fog up the door allowing Kick to do a flying kick to the door to seal everything up good. So Finecomb comes around and brings out his trusty pen to shut down the place which causes Kick and Gunther to gasp because this adult might in fact noticed what happened here.

However; since the kids are the main event and thus the adults must look stupid at every turn; he throws away the pen and declares that this is the safest store in Mellowbrook. He is so happy that he wants a cold drink as he teases opening the fridge; but here comes Oskar with the limited edition footbag and Finecomb is amazed as we discover that Finecomb was a footbag champion in 1987 as shown from the out of nowhere footbag magazine. Pfft; whatever as Finecomb offers to have him and Wade get some practice in sometime and officially gives the store a passing grade. Kick and Gunther proclaims that they have saved Wade's job and the Food -N- Fix from being shut down; but Wade disagrees, because they saved the newbie's job. See; as part of the perks he got in Wade Against The Machine when he was demoted back to clerk; he was allowed to work off hours and off the clock since another clerk is supposed to take over for him during this time. We discover someone coming out of the store room and it's....Brad Buttowski? I did not see that coming at all. And no surprise; he was taking a nap all this time as he calls Kick dillweed again as Kick and Gunther are shocked and appalled. Wade decides to leave with Finecomb to do some footbagging which indicates that Finecomb knew what was going on all this time. So; the whole episode has been rendered pointless as Brad wants a cold drink and he opens the fridge. Bad move there Brad; as he gets swamped with about 100 times the amount of stuff inside the fridge and he gets buried in garbage. Well; you have no one but yourself to blame for that one Brad. Brad screams about the trash tomb since it's freezing. Kick and Gunther go outside and notice that the truck Finecomb is driving is indeed a spaceship and it flies away as Gunther claims that he didn't see this coming despite the fact that this happened in his dream sequence flashback. So we fade to black and then return to String-Zee as it has been shut down and stamped by Finecomb; as we head inside as a puppet blows off the puppet master for biting the inspector and that ends the episode at 10:00 approx. Fine episode for what it was; but ultimately pointless. ** 3/4 (55%).

Opening Moment #2: The title card has the word awesome surrounded by yellow flames against a black background. This is _Bee Not Awesome_.

Bee Awesome: We begin this one at Mellowbrook School and head into the lunch room as Kick and Gunther get to the lunch counter with their trays and plates already on it. Kick is rad today because there is pepperoni pizza cut into a slice of pizza; or something like that. Gunther cannot believe that this can happen. I cannot either because I don't see an upside to it like the stuff crust pizza. It is pizza Fridays as Kick and Gunther each order a slice of pizza (with Gunther wanting a cornish game hen on top); and end up getting a whole lot of brown stuff splattered on their plates. I find out later that this is tuna surprise as Kick is insensed and in comes Principal Wrinker with a poster of the Spelling Bee and Kendell's picture in the middle which implies that Kendell is a spelling bee champion. Kick gets in Principal Herny's face about this "outrage" which is not an outrage. I betcha he did that because the spelling bee is coming up and thus fish is a "brain" food. I check the video...damn I'm good as he talks about Omega-3 stuff and we see Kendell eating like a dog and then spelling words after that. Okay; so why does everyone else have to have tuna surprise? Kendell is your star speller; so what? And then we find out why as we see Henry giddy over Kendell's spelling and then we see Gunther crawling on the ground looking greener than a rookie pro wrestler. Kick deduces that this is food poisoning and it was due to the tuna surprise. And he proves his point as Kendell is now greener than Gunther and sick. Kendell drops onto the floor in the fetal position shaking as Henry props her back up and moves her mouth with her hand; but that fails and she drops down again. Herny panics because Kendell is his star pupil and looks for some other student to take her place; and then all the students instantly drop down and look greenly sick from the food poisoning. Oh goodness; this is so dumb. So Henry begs for mercy to Kick to take Kendell's place in the spelling bee; and Kick refuses because he is great in stunts but sucks in spelling. Kick also asks why he should be in the spelling bee anyway and Henry tells us that he lost in the spelling bee 40 years ago; and we HIT THE FLASHBACK~!

So we head to the stage for the spelling bee with Henry in his teens taking on what appears to be a black teenager and both are wearing formal gear. The judges are on the floor and they want Herny to spell principal. Yeah; he cannot spell principal; but he is said principal at Mellowbrook School! That just makes me lose confidence in this guy as a teacher and character now. He's wrong of course by a mile and we get the buzzer and then jackhammer the point home with the slow motion "wrong" promo from the judge as everyone laughs him out of the building. The black student is happy as we return to reality (no, not really) as Henry was training Kendell to be a champion speller to win back his honor and now she's sick and looks as green as a frog. And then the black man from the spelling bee comes in wearing all green with black shoes and glasses on. We discover that he is Principal Rival (Roll The R) as he has a Spanish accent and is voiced by the Newscaster from Fish Hooks in Hooray For Hamsterwood. See; Rival has a student of his own to compete against Kendell and therefore he will defeat Henry once again as it's a guy named Javier as both are confused by this. So out comes Javier who is wearing a red coat and pants with medal dripping on his suit as Henry realizes that this guy is a transfer student who has never lost on six continents. So North America is one he never won in yet? So how do you win in Antarctica? I guess you win by showing up and spelling one word; because no one sane would pull this off. And of course; he is a stereotype Spanish person because he is a bull fighter which happens right in the lunch room. Whatever guys. The bull of course pants like a dog and stops on a dime when Javier sezs something to it. So Rival claims that he is no stranger to the language of language as Henry offers him some tuna surprise and Javier no sells it right away. Of course you no sold that; because there are dozens of sick students on the floor right now. Which is noticed right away by Rival. Henry claims that he has his spelling bee student in training; which of course is Kick Buttowski as Kick fails to emote anything since he cannot emote to save his life.

So Javier taunts him because he realizes that he's a stuntmen and spelling is for real men and real people as he spells defeat wrong as it is Mellowbrook; remembering to roll the L and the R's while Kick checks his watch and lets him finish. Javier is voiced by the same guy who voiced Senor Senor Jr in Kim Possible by the way. Kick blows him off; but Javier counters and leaves with the bull and Rival while walking backwards. Ummm; yeah. Henry pleads for Kick to say yes while Kick has the Gruffi pose on; and Kick agrees to it as long as they bring back Pizza Fridays back forever...and maybe on Tuesday. Henry agrees to it as Kick tries to spell victory and fails worse than Henry does as Henry groans on cue because we have lots of work to do. And then WE HIT THE MONTAGE~! As it fails miserably because Kick is a horrible speller because boot camps don't work with stuntpeople; or something. Scrabble pieces, cue cards and chalkboard fill in the blanks all fail as Henry looks defeated and proclaims that this is a complete waste of time. And then Javier and Rival come right in to rub it into Henry as they proclaim that it's a complete waste of time because Javier will win the spelling bee hands down! Javier is going to be an awesome replacement announcer for Alberto De Rio; I can see that happening now. Henry is pissed off because he demands to know why they are here. Javier really screams like mad because they don't need no stinking hall passes. HAHA! Now that is intensity BABEE! Sadly; like Brad Buttowski, automatically turns him babyface. So they show their hall passes and then walk out taunting Henry again. Henry then runs around in circles in a panic; like he got his head cut off. Personally; seeing a headless Kick Buttowski would be fine by me. After all; either one will have the exact same emoting skills. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! POW! OUCH! Ummmm....Kick proclaims that they will win; but they are going to do this his way this time since he learns by doing.. Oookkkkkaaayyyyy...

So we head to the gym as Kick is standing there while Henry is at the dodgeball box which is placed about 50 feet away from him. Kick asks him for the word and it really doesn't matter what the word it is because Henry tries to throw a dodgeball with the letter R in white letters; but it bounces and stops not even half way to Kick. Memo to Henry: Remember the episode in Sailor Moon S where Mini Moon is doing the Pink Sugar Heart Attack move and it either doesn't work; or she's way too far away to hit the monster of the day in the face?! Well; in this instance; the monster of the day is sitting cross legged on the ground having tea; and the PSHA move hits the ground the exact same distance as the dodgeball from earlier. So Mini Moon just simply moves forward while the MOD is having tea the entire time until she finally gets hit in the face with the heart laser attack Mini Moon uses. So to Henry....MOVE FORWARD~! But since we are not allowed to be dramatic or anything in new cartoons; Kick simply taunts Henry that he painted his office with camoflague; which pisses off Henry as he brings out the dodgeball cannon shooter out of nowhere. He shoots and calls Kick a demon as Kick grabs the dodgeballs and puts them on the rack spelling Adrenaline perfectly while bouncing off balls. Okay; he's getting there as he slides into the dodgeball cage and Henry calls it correct as then dodgeballs fall on them like crazy; as Kick suffers about 20 concussions which he'll no sell since the helmet padded the damage. Pfft. Whatever. So we fade to black and return to a sky shot of the parking lot as all the cars are painted with various letters on the roofs. Henry paces around in the background as he tells Kick that the word is vault. So Kick pole vaults and sticks the pole right on the cars everytime as he spells vault correctly before landing on his feet on the cement. Whatever Kick. And of course; the alarms all go off in the cars despite the fact that Henry painted the roofs.

So we head somewhere else as we see Kick suspended from a rope above a pool tank of man-eating sharks. So this is basically the spelling version of Fail Fish now. Henry states that the word is balloon and Kick ponders it over; and spells it wrong; prompting Henry to slingshot rocks at the balloons above Kick. I'll give Kick this; all his stunts to spelling do have a payoff to them; along with context and meaning, so that is a win in a sense. Kick keeps spelling it wrong as pencils pop balloons now as the sharks are loving this. Kick splashes into the pool and then walks away with just rips in his suit and popped balloons. He finally spells it correctly walking away from Henry. Pffft. Whatever. Milo's studying was much more dangerous and awesome than this. So we head to Widowmaker's Peak as there have been some thorny bushes growing the last time we saw it. Henry tries to weasel his way out of this one; but Kick grabs him and they race down the hill on the sled as we see Kick going through signs and the wrong spelled sign is instant doom for both of them. Thankfully for Henry; Kick gets them all right as the sled goes down the hill; and they go off the ramp cliff and then fly into the air; and they land on the sidewalk in front of the school (barely missing the flagpole by three inches) and stopping safely as Kick jumps off; does a couple of flips and lands perfectly on his feet on the stairs leading to the doors of the school doing the double devil pose. Henry is panting hard and wants Kick to never tell anyone about this and Kick claims that the secrets are safe with him. The problem is: Javier appears with various other students appear out of nowhere as Javier taunts Kick and Henry as we discover from the banners on the school grounds that the Mellowbrook Spelling Bee is taking place AT HOME! HAHA! Well; you have no one but yourself to blame for that one Henry Wrinkler. Javier drinks from an apple juice box and shows off his rolling R skills which causes one white female to faint and be catched by another female. Whatever.

So we head to the theater as everyone sits down in their chairs on the stage while the judges and only about a quarter of the students who did not get poisoned are sitting in the seats inside the theater. The judge is at the booth as he explains the rules that only one student per school is allowed to attend; and they will be called by name. The first one they get wrong is enternally frozen; or DQ'ed. Personally; the former would be most fitting for Kick Buttowski. The guy at the booth has grey hair, glasses and is wearing a grey suit and pink tie; so he's a boring adult. And then we HIT THE MONTAGE because of time constraints as we get floating heads spelling with about 90% of them getting the red buzzer and all get eliminated as we get a sky shot of the kids in chairs. One girl is in tears and that is the only thing of note as it's down to Javier and Kick Buttowski as Henry is prepping up Kick with a water bottle drink and patting him down like a boxer. Javier is prepped up by seeing red to the moving cape by Rival while cosplaying a bull. That was neat; but so stereotypical just the same. So they both run up to the stage at the same time and we get the staredown with the microphone stand right in the middle of it all. So we go to the judge on the table as he proclaims that the final word is principal which completely telegraphs that someone is going to spell the word wrong. Now; there are three finishes that they can do with this:

[1.] Kick spells the word right; Javier does not somehow and Kick wins. I'm fine with that now because Kick hasn't done anything that is unlikable minus the sled job from earlier. It will kill Javier's heat as a babyface; but if they book it to be a screwjob; then Javier would save face.
[2.] Javier spells the word right; Kick spells it right and it goes on forever until the judge gives up and both win which would save face for Javier while keeping Kick as a winner. Neither principal would be happy; but both sides would have heat in knowing that they have one of the best spellers in the world and thus it's fine by me.
[3.] Both spell the word wrong and both sides lose; which is a bad idea because the double DQ finish kills Javier's heat and does nothing for Kick nor Henry.

So I'm going for either #1 or #2 for the finish because both of them make sense and neither finish would make Javier and Henry lose face. I like #2 the best because both kids keep their heat. The judge asks if they want it in a sentence and Javier steps up and proclaims that this will not be needed as he spells it as principle. Which is completely...wrong! So; it's going to be #1 then as the buzzer sounds, the red light bulb breaks and Javier is in such shock as everyone is either in shocked, appalled or crying like his grandmother is whining about his son's failure. Sadly; he spells it wrong clean and he drops dead. Why am I not surprised? The judge asks for Kick to spell the word (because in a spelling bee; the other one must spell the misspelled word or it either goes on; or ends in a double DQ) and Kick asks for it in a sentence proudly. The judge states that Kick must see the principal after school; so we HIT THE FLASHBACK as we see Kick entering Henry's office then we flash back to him doing it again, and everytime he does it; the black letters on the glass window saying Principal change to red as this is done about nine times to really jackhammer the point home. So Kick sezs the word; spells it correctly and wins easily. The judge proclaims that he got it right and Mellowbrook wins this year as the crowd cheers on cue. Henry and Kick give the thumbs up as Javier takes it rather well; but proclaims that there is always next year and just walks out with Rival and his mother with the red cape on him. He does get off a neat Spanish promo before he leaves as Kick is presented with the trophy which looks boring and generic; while the two slap skin. Kick gives Henry the trophy and tells him that he couldn't do it without him. Awww! So we head to the hallways inside the school as the trophy is inside the trophy case on the wall as Henry is so happy that this is over and wants to celebrate with a plate of tuna surprise because the adult has to be REALLY STUPID since if he is smart; then the kids will change the channel. He eats it and then drops down sick and green as he tells Kick that the square dancing competition is tonight and Henry was competing in it.

So Kick proclaims that he is on it and we go on stage with a farm like theme as Kick is dressed up like a farmer's boy and he square dances in the most laughably way possible by tap dancing on stage. He also has a straw on his mouth. He ends with a flourish and we fade to black; only to return to the brick wall for the Peanuts spot as Gunther asks how do you spell relief and Kick doesn't know. It is obviously a joke to everyone because Kick should know how to spell relief and he acted like he did know when he responded to the question. Yeap; Gunther farts about three times to force the joke home and that is the end of the episode at 10:00 approx. Well; we did go about ten minutes without grossout humor (and being sick and green doesn't count by the way); so it was to be expected. This was fine; but it was basically Fail Fish with a really cool Spanish stereotype who got buried and never got seen again. *** (60%).


Well; there is not much to say about these two shorts at all. Dude; Where Is My Wade was a clustermuck with a prolonged ending that rendered the episode pointless. It did have some funny stuff which mostly involved Jackie as usual; and not much else. It was simply a fine episode with nothing much of note. It felt like a tedious Goof Troop episode. So did Bee Awesome for that matter. Again; it was all right and was basically Fail Fish, only worse in the fact that Kick almost gave the principal a heart attack; and better in a sense because of Javier and is Don Karnage tendencies; although I could have done without the bullfighter stereotypes since he was Spanish in origin. The finish was fine even if it buried Javier as a rival for Kick to play with; and the stunt spelling stuff was actually good and made sense in the context of the stunts. So overall; it was just an average rant that I got done much earlier than expected since my internet was done throughout the first rant. So next up is Bromance and Only The Loan-ly which I'll do on Tuesday which will be the last rant for October. Brad meets Fergie; sort of and the second one is Brianna tormenting Kick for screwing her out of a promise again. Yeah. So...

Thumbs in the middle for both shorts and I'll see you next time.

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