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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Kyle E. Coyote/Locked Out/Rocked Rant

Reviewed: 06/01/2017

Rock It To The Lockout of Kick's Mouth!

I think the summary on the Wikia says it all about the first episode: In order to attend the Gnarly Games, Kick must track down Cousin Kyle, who has consumed an entire case of Cheetah Chug! However, catching his energized cousin is easier said than done. Yeah; it's Kyle VS. Kick again only they do not speak at all because we have a parody of a Road Runner cartoon. Then Kick gets locked out of his house and we have The Dark One causing chaos, again. So let's continue on shall we...?

Kyle E. Coyote is written by Derek Dressler with storyboards done by Howie Perry. The direction is done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Locked Out is written and storyboarded by Scott O'Brien with story done by Derek Dressler while direction was done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Rocked is written by Derek Dressler, story by Mark Yank, storyboarded by Scott O'Brien and Troy Adomitis; while direction is done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Mike Yank debuted on Kappa Mikey in 2006 and wrote episodes on Out Of Jimmy's Head, The Drinky Crow Show, Johnny Test, The Problem Solverz, Breadwinners, Care Bears: Welcome to Care-a-lot and most recently Dawn of The Croods. He also did story editing for Mongo Wrestling Alliance (why yes; there was a TV-MA rated cartoon about professional wrestling, why do you ask?). Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut and he worked on Wander Over Yonder and Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil. That's it, actually. Episodes are done with Toon Boom like all episodes of this show.

Opening Moment #1: Basically a shadow parody of a Roadrunner Looney Tunes cartoon. Take one guess who plays Wile and who plays the Roadrunner. Hint: One is vainglorious like Wile and the other one is as zany as the Roadrunner.

Kyle E. Coyote: We begin this one with a stormy scene of weather vanes and volcanoes with lava in them. Then an RV drops down right in front of the sidewalk as Kick is looking on. Door opens; Kyle walks out and face plants. Kick does the best emoting of scared and anger ever known to mankind. Then he recoils and embraces Kyle. We point and then we hit the flashback to a stadium which the Gnarly Games are playing. Yeah; because even Looney Tunes have plots; even if they are so paper thin, they all have a payoff. So we make funny faces and out pops two tickets from Kyles' mouth. But remember; this is supposed to be a Roadrunner cartoon parody, so Kick brings out the faces and the crate of Cheetah Chug (The liquid crack of this world) and Kick has a can of it. We discover that it sezs that it causes extreme speed and Kyle is shown with a censor. What a bunch of ablests this company is?! Kick shakes his head no; Kyle drinks up anyway (what a shock?!) and IT IS ON BABEE!! Kyle even does the "BEEP! BEEP!" spot Roadrunner does before making Kick eat his dust (CHUG! CHUG! complete with lime green eyes and the words which is at least a subtle form of the Fairly Oddparents jackhammering). So Kick does the eyes pop out spot and the RV windshield breaks as Kyle's mom shows her arm and watch (and doesn't bleed natch). So we get more jackhammering the point home as the ticket reads that the Gnarly Games begin at eight PM. You know what amazes me so far about this short? Kick's emoting is actually AWESOME here! I just wish they did this in EVERY episode. So we bail and see Kyle drinking the entire case of Cheetah Chug and we do the opening animal spieces spot on Kyle and Kick; like a Roadrunner cartoon of course. Kyle is known as a Cousinus Doofusus; which is dumb because they are confusing Kyle with Doofus from Ducktales. He's more like a Cousinus Kylehyperus. Wow; you know the writers are bad when I can come up with that one without even trying and it sounds a lot funnier. Kick is known as a Stuntii Daredevilis which is confusing him with Kit Cloudkicker. Kick should be known as Vainous Gloriousus. I would add Bastardous; but BS&P wouldn't allow that one for obvious reasons of course. Kick gets the box thrown on his head for fun, of course.

Kick whistles for the skateboard as it comes out of nowhere and Kick gets on it. Whatever Kick. So we do the ROADRUNNER RUNNING SEQUENCE OF DEATH as Kyle races into the Food -N- Fix and does a lot of roadrunner spots on the wall while Wade stands there doing absolutely nothing. Kick enters and Wade still does nothing because he's dumb of course. Kick's eyes go nutty as Kyle empties one full fridge of Cheetah Chug; which is awfully generous of him since there was one full fridge of Cheetah Chug left. He runs away; and apparently makes Kick do the longest Butterbear whirlwind spot ever as the shelves of stuff go flying and Wade does absolutely nothing. He is the "Vampire Hippie" of this episode. This continues forever as we have an explosion and the shelf screws Kick good as Kyle drinks some more; does the "BEEP! BEEP!" spot and runs out of the Food -N- Fix. Kick tries to get up; but the shelves hate him; or something. Wade runs in; lifts the shelf and then lays himself next to Kick and the shelf comes down. HAHA! We fade to black and we return to Stingzee as Kick puts a piece of paper about some kind of puppets being custom made or something. Kick bails as Kyle runs into Stingzees. Kick returns with a paint brush and a bucket of glue as he paints the sidewalks in front of the store. He bails again and out comes Mr. Vickie, Chickerilli, Billy Stumps and Puppet Guy; who I have no idea who he is. Nor do I care. Kyle speeds through the line; we have explosion and all of the adults squash Kick when he face plants onto the cement. In a neat single file pillar I might add. Kick lifts; spits tooth; pile comes down as Wade comes in; lifts the piles and lays himself next to Kick and the pile comes down. Yeap; this is the running gag in this episode; and I'm gagging at it. So we cut to a street where a truck full of Cheetah Chug is driving. Kyle comes up from behind; turns around in front of the truck and eats it whole. That is NOT a mistype folks; that is EXACTLY what happens.

He spits it out and I presume drank the CC stuff as he spits it right at Kick which Kick gets up and gets whacked at the front as it goes off the conveniently placed ramp and crashes right into the Gnarly Games billboard. Kendell watches it and then leaves without saying a word. We zoom to the 8 PM part of the billboard and we fade to black. We return with a sky shot of Mellowbrook and then we go up to Widowmaker's Peak at the summit with Kick using the binoculars; and Gunther arrives driving Helga's viking ship car. This cannot be reasoned with; do not think too much. He brings out the "Axe-Me" box; which can be "Ask-Me" or "Ass-Me" depending on how perverted you want the spot to go. Then Gunther proceeds to drive off the cliff in the viking ship car. Whatever. Kick opens the box; and it's a skateboard with a TNT rocket attached to it. So Kick gets on it; lights the fuse and we aim for the street where Kyle is (the video quality is grainy here so I cannot tell where Kyle is actually); and we rocket away as we do the roadrunner chase again in traffic.So Kyle runs off the road with Kick following him; and Kyle does the "BEEP! BEEP!" spot and runs faster as they go off the rock formation ramp right onto what appears to be a steep snowy mountain. Kyle goes over the summit and down as the rocket runs out of steam forcing Kick to grab the mountain side; but we zoom out and discover that it's a rocket ship which is aiming for outer space. We launch and crash into the moon as Kick is on the moon's surface (and yes; there was an explosion off-screen) lying down on his belly not amused as a can of Cheetah Chug whacks Kick in the helmet (and somehow Kick has not died in space; but that is par for the course in DTVA). BEEP! BEEP! Fade to black and we head to the country road as Kick is pushing down a bear trap in the middle of the street. Yeap; we are going to do the bear trap spot; just accept it. Kick puts the Cheetah Chug can on the bear trap and then bails behind the rocks. If this was an 11 minute short; they would have Kick struggling for four minutes here before putting the can on the trap.

So we wait for a long ass whomping time; and then Kick gets cotton mouth and like Patrick Star runs over; and grabs the can and tries to drink it. Yeap; Kick is REALLY STUPID today; he might as well be known as Drakigus Mallardous. The bear trap snaps right in Kick's groin (OUCH!) and he does the best cringing in pain face I have ever seen in this series; as Kyle comes in and then runs away stage left. So we fade to black again to spiral mountain as Kyle spirals around it up and down. We cut to Kick on the cellphone and in comes the viking ship car as Kick sees a box on the front seat. He brings it out and it's called a human bow & arrow. He opens it and we see that Gunther is the bow. Yeah; this is stooping to Fanboy & Chum Chum levels of whackiness; whatever guys. So Kick tugs back on the bowstring as he grows to 6'3" on the spot; and then we slingshot forward as Kick tries to grab Kyle running on the mountain side road; and then we get the FCC FRIENDLY CLOUD DUST OF DEATH; and when the dust clears; Kyle is on the edge of the road; while Kick is in mid air; and he is WARNERED~! BEEP! BEEP! Kick brings out a white sign in black letters that reads "Biscuits" and then free falls. He takes the sky shot bump onto the ground WITH CHEESE AND BACON~ and then climbs out of the carnage as a can whacks him on the head as he comes out. Kick is hurt badly and then steps into the out of nowhere beartrap; and it snaps and nearly breaks his neck in the process. Ummm; OW! Can bounces off the helmet again for fun and we fade to black as we have one minute left in this short. So we head back to Stingzee Puppets as Kick walks out (Ah; so the glue dried and hardened since last time) and practices the fine art of not being seen.

So we see him walking on the road with a box and he stops and dumps out a puppet looking like Kyle on the road. Kick sticks a sign on the ground that reads "Last Puppet For 3000 Miles" and then bails behind the rocks. Kyle appears and grabs the puppet. He plays with it as Kick grabs him from behind like a heel...Oh wait; Wilie was the heel in the cartoon; so this makes sense this time. He does the whirlwind spot and ties Kyle up like a straight jacket. That was insulting. So Kick runs with Kyle and stuffs him in the back of the RV. They go to the front as then we discover that the car is out of gas. Kick looks at Kyle and ponders it over. Then a light blub comes above Kick's head as we cut to outside as Kyle is tied up with rope and he's connected to the front of the RV. Kick opens a can of Cheetah Chug and throws it at Kyle. Kyle drinks it and he goes CHUG! CHUG! He runs at sonic speed; which is so fast that Kick forgets to go back in the RV at least; and he does a back flip and splats on the pavement. The RV drives out of sight as the sun is setting. Kick runs to follow it; but he steps in the out of nowhere bear trap again; and we fade to black and hear a snap as this ends the short at 6:30. What?! It should have ended with Kick getting the bear trap; and then Wade opens the trap; stands next to Kick and then you fade to back to payoff both gags. It's not rocket science folks! Fun episode; and Kick should not talk anymore since he's a much better work rate guy when he's emoting like a Looney Tunes character. Too little, too late. Kyle is good; but he's only half of the character he is without the hyper talking voice. *** 1/2 (70%).

Opening Moment #2: Title card features a lot of red as Kick has the WCW KEY OF DOOM and trying to get it into the house. Okay.

Locked Out: We begin this one at the Mellowbrook Megaplex AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as spotlights come out of it and an explosion is seen. That was something else. Out comes Kick and Gunther with some soot on themselves making the most obscene shocked faces Disney would allow. They look at each other and go all "yeah" on us. Pftt; whatever. So they call the Z-grade movie awesome as Kick shows the ticket for the movie and claims that he sneaked out of the house and disobeyed his parents again. A move done by 99.9% of children and even adults in cartoon history, so yawn. Gunther is on all fours stating that if Kick saw this movie, Kick would be grounded by Harold of course. The two rub out all the debris in their own way as Kick tells Gunther not to worry about it because Harold's asleep and offers Gunther a ride home on his skateboard. Gunther agrees to it by hanging onto Kick's back and shoulders while on said skateboard. Kick's face cannot take this; it's obvious now. Kick slowly wheels the skateboard away stage right and then we scene change to Kick walking to his house holding the skateboard. Kick complains about his skateboard wheels of course; but he's glad he's home. Apparently; there is a purple laser trip wire in front of the house as Kick makes it to the front door and trips the wire. This causes the sort of silent alarm to trigger and the conveniently placed robot to turn on and it's job is to eliminate intruders. Jump cut to Kick checking himself because he forgot his keys, not because he realized how unlikable he is. Kick sticks his arm into the mail letter slot of the door to try to open the door from the inside as the robot arrives and sees the infra-red intruder arm of Kick. I just love how symbolic this is for Kick to be an intruder; since many old farts consider him to be an intruder of DTVA in general. Kick grabs the door knob, robot grabs Kick, Kick gets bashed into the door over and over again, and then flies onto the sidewalk with no bump on his back. Kick thinks something is going on as he looks at a conveniently placed green stop sign that reads: Secured by Robobot. Geez; that's an awfully lame name even for a security guard-equse robot. Kick realizes that Harold has finally followed through on the security system thingie; but nothing is going to stop Kick from entering his own house. Kick runs and under the conveniently placed out of nowhere door mat is Denise's WCW KEY OF DOOM.

So why didn't Kick just find the key first? Kick could just put the key underneath the mat once he opened the door and none would be the wiser. It's not like this would automatically incriminate him or anything. Robot isn't screwing around as he invokes the JAWS OF HALF LIFE on the keyhole and electrifies it just as Kick inserts the key in said keyhole; giving him the DALEK X-RAY EFFECT OF DEATH. I should note that Kick's head is basketball shaped. Kick is covered with ash and is cooked rare as a result. The key, despite being metal, burns to ashes anyway. Robobot laughs and claims no one gets past Robobot 2000 as Kick admits that this guy is good. No he's not; needs name change, STAT! Kick claims that he's better (no you are not, Kick) and we scene change to the windows with green curtain as Kick is looking into one of them. Kick opens one of the windows and gets inside as Robotbot use the JAWS OF HALF-LIFE and drops an anvil on Kick's head. This would have been a lot more effective if the helmet wasn't there to soften the blow. I realize BS&P was behind this; but book a different spot then! Kick's got sour puss envy and simply walks out the window and closes it. Oh come on, now! What a wimp?! At least let Robobot kick you out first. Kick apparently does some squats as we scene change to Kick on a tree branch invoking the LASSO OF BANE TO ALL ACTION CARTOONS EVERYWHERE; which I am wrong since it's a grappling hook attached to the chimney. So Kick taunts the robot with the dreaded misdirection play; and then swings like Tarzan into the open window (why there is an open window is a mystery to me; and above all, this Robotbot is no good outside in the yard) as the robot screws Kick by spitting oil onto the floor and Kick slips and slides on it. Kick manages to catch himself and stop screaming, as he was in Harold's room before going through the window and free falls. I betcha the oil on the floor is how Harold catches Kick in the act of sneaking out to see a Z-grade movie. Kick gets WARNERED and falls on his belly as the robot taunts him some more. Kick threatens to wipe the robot's hard drive as we scene change to Kick on a trampoline and the robot is insantly onto him as Kick jumps so high that he goes through the chimney and heads down, bounces off the conveniently placed mattress several times as a blueberry pie splats into Kick's face before Kick bounces off the trampoline and onto the ground.

Apparently; the blueberry pie causes the bounce effect to slow down in this universe. Okay; good to know. The robot taunts Kick again as Kick sits up and proclaims that in order to be a robot, he must think like one. Yeah; sure, like that would work, Kick. Scene change to Kick knocking on the door as he is dressed in a Duracell battery costume. Man; how did BS&P get that past clearance without a lawsuit? The robot of course answers the door and Kick takes off the costume and does forward rolls into the house. Kick wants to fight as we discover that the poor robot has now shrunk to the size of a toy robot who has a big shadow. 5:1 odds that this is a decoy robot, I'm calling it right now. Kick taunts the robot and treats it like a child (how ironic, eh?) as Kick bails to go upstairs; but gets cut off by the robot who can teleport. At least a teleporting robot makes sense; sort of. Kick of course points the finger at the robot and the robot PUTS OUT THE BUTTOWSKI~! HAHA! Memo to Kick...AGAIN!: Do not point. It's not nice. Kick gets thrown and somehow; Kick uses his cape to stop himself from hitting the wall and drops on the sofa. I would love to say BS&P RULEZ~ but this took too much effort; so I doubt it was the case. Robotbot has had enough and destroys the sofa into melting fabric with his eye beam laser of doom. More laser blasting and dodging make Gregory Weagle something something as the chair is split into two. Wow; a security system that destroys people's properties with impunity. BASTARD! That's Johnny Test's gimmick! More shooting and dodging as a lamp post gets toppled as a result outside and the television set gets sliced. Half of the house wall tilts to the side as Kick is hanging from the lights above the ceiling. Kick protests this laser blasting, not because this robot is a murderous bastard; but Harold would wake up. Kick bails, robot recharges and we spray more laser fire. The robot brings the bathroom down and it uses stock pictures for no reason. Toilet gets zapped to death of course as Kick is in front of the open fridge and the robot simply walks away. Because you see, the robot only detects heat and the cold fridge nullifies it. This is straight out of Last Horizon's playbook. So Kick figures it out and has a Krackpotkin plan as we discover that the microwave is on, popping popcorn. The robot notices this and turns around noticing the microwave as lifeforms are detected.

So here's the finish: Kick gets in from behind smothered in frozen meat products and ice, holding a broom. The robot turns around, senses nothing, but still sees Kick and cannot compute this. Kick bashes the robot into the dishwasher machine and slams the door. Kick turns on the dishwasher to heavy wash, the robot short circuits and explodes off-screen. The door opens and the robot dies after some sparking. Kick cheers for victory and yells way too loud in blowing off the robot as I betcha Harold comes out and grounds him. I check the video...Damn; I'm good. What blew Kick's lie wide open: As Harold comes in (wearing the most goofy pjs and nightcap since Newton Gimmick's swimsuit) and demands answers to this outrage, Kick lies and then the robot uses it's arms and shows off the ticket in Kick's suit to Harold. Oops! Robotbot taunts Kick for that before dying for good as Kick figures, "Ah, who cares? I'll take the grounding like a man" as Harold goes to a conveniently placed closet because he wants to really make sure Kick never disobeys him again. So he opens the door and Kick taunts the robot because in the dark; it's as small as the first one. So, remember the first robot is like Colonel Spigot? Well; this one is more like Dumptruck as it comes out and grabs Kick. Kick is screwed (YAY!) as we head outside as Kick is spanked and beaten up off-screen to end the episode at 7:30 approx. This was a fine episode and the robots literally kicked ass despite having lame names. *** (60%).

Opening Moment #3: Title card featured a red blackground as Kick tries to look like Superman; but looks like Starman from Earthbound. The "O" in rocked has the helmet. Why is the last two letters in yellow?

Rocked: We begin this one in some city of doom as it feels like Gotham City in a really flat style most old farts do not like. We discover via a boring lime green/blue font that the city is called Mellowopolis. Jump cut to a shot of a sign that reads "Mellowopolis Bank" and pan down as the windows are literally blown out in an explosion. The bank is on fire as a bank robber comes out through the blown out door with a sack of that MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH. He goes into a armored car from the back and goes to the front as his partner drives the stolen armored car away as we see two police officers (I believe that are the same officers from Trash Talk only older) with a spotlight with the Kick Buttowski logo on it. They shine the spotlight into the air as we zoom out and see a small lookoff house on the right as a shadowary figure which looks like an adult Kick Buttowski. The armored car continues to drive stage left; which the thing is called Blinks Security; which has to be the least secure armored car in history. Basically; adult Kick is putting on his gear during this and we discover that this adult Kick is not Kick Buttowski, but...wait for it...Rock Callahan cosplaying an adult Kick. I realize that if you are a fan of characters, you do have the right to cosplay that character irregardless of who the cosplayer is. However; who in their right mind (and even wrong mind) would want to cosplay someone as unlikable as Kick?! That's like cosplaying Johnny Test. No good can come out of it. Rock Buttowski proclaims that it's time to kick buttowski (a catchphrase only used once in Deadman's Drop and I'm surprised they didn't jackhammer the point here, considering what this episode's context is.) So we tease Rock coming out of the cave below his look off on a motorcycle; but of course he smashes through the window of the look off; because we have to have destruction of property in this show. Thankfully; it was his own, so screw him! So Rock apparently lives on the top of Deadman's Drop as he drives his motorcycle down towards the city. We do the ET moon jump spot and the bike lands just behind the armored car on the street. How convenient is that?! His motorcycle transforms into armored motorcycle. Why would you bother doing that? Rock wants to take out the trash and sadly, this show doesn't count as such. Oh wait; he did that, so he could shoot double lasers at the armored car. It's so obvious!

Laser beam hits armored car and it bounces on the pavement as they repeated the famed vowels promo also in Deadman's Drop. What's next? We see the two robbers are naked as jaybirds since I remember the pilot episode awfully well. Armored car is on it's roof as one of the robbers with the money somehow comes out and bails. Whew; he's still got his clothes on, that's a relief. Robber smacks into Rock's chest and almost has sex with him before peeling himself off. Robber brings out the dreaded SWALLOW CROWBAR OF DEATH as the robber's knees are knocking as Rock gives him two choices. The easy way or the really, really painful way as Rock is now channeling Gizmoduck. What? No shunk?! Screw you, Kick; just screw you! Robber's swallow crowbar turns to rubber and the robber faints dead away. He chose the really, really obvious way to me, which is option C I do believe. In on a green scooter comes adult Gunther being played by Billy Stumps. Why not? Gunther isn't any good with two arms, Billy Stumps might be better with just one. Rock and Gunther exchange pleasure thoughts and decide to go to the Food -N- Fix for some Sloggies as the entire city cheers them on out of nowhere. Everyone looks like an adult, although that means Wade in the background is completely unchanged. So then we discover that they are in front of a television store as Dirt Bike Mike shows up on the screens in TV Land. Yes; that is the name of the store as more monitor throughout the city light up with Dirtbike Mike's mug as he is now called "The Dark One". Oh hello, adult Jackie Whackerman, almost didn't see you there. So, "The Dark One" (It's really Dirtbike Mike in his first official speaking role) is voiced by Tony Reali and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Born on Staten Island, New York, Reali spent most of his childhood living in New Jersey and graduated from Christian Brothers Academy in 1996. Reali was a sportscaster for WFUV at Fordham University from 1997-2000 as the voice of football and men's basketball. He also was a beat reporter covering the Yankees, Mets, Giants, and Jets. In May 2000, he wrote for WPIX-TV of New York. Reali joined ESPN in 2000 as a researcher/writer for ESPN's quiz show 2 Minute Drill. He later joined Pardon the Interruption in October 2001 as "Stat Boy", where his role was to correct and fact-check hosts Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon at the end of every episode.[2]

Reali became so popular that he started appearing daily on Tony Kornheiser's radio show for a daily segment called "Preview the Interruption", in which he discussed what was going to happen on PTI later on that afternoon. After Reali became the host of Around the Horn and his popularity continued to rise, Kornheiser and Wilbon eventually started introducing him by his actual name instead of simply calling him "Stat Boy." On occasion, Kornheiser will add several ridiculous middle names when introducing him to poke fun at his long name (such as Anthony Joseph Lisa Lipps Reali). In addition to conducting his usual fact-checks, Reali now also judges Kornheiser and Wilbon when they play the games "Oddsmakers" and "Report Card" on the show and introduces the topics for segments such as "Over/Under" and "What's the Word." On September 5, 2014 Reali did his last show of Pardon the Interruption as he is moving to New York City to be a social media correspondent on Good Morning America.[3] In February 2004, Reali replaced Max Kellerman as the host of Around the Horn, the show that precedes PTI in the ESPN weekday schedule (he was guest host on Around the Horn six times, and was a panelist six other times before becoming host). As host of Around The Horn, Reali awards points at his own discretion based upon the quality of the guests' comments. Tony is known for his in depth knowledge of sports statistics and corrections of panelists on "Around the Horn". He will deduct points or mute the guest when a nonsensical comment is provided, awarding points when a panelist makes a convincing argument, bold prediction, or amusing pop culture reference.[4][5] In the early hours of October 1, 2007, Reali's apartment was destroyed by a fire,[6][7] a fact acknowledged by Tony Kornheiser on Pardon the Interruption on October 1 and by Reali himself, along with the various correspondents, on Around the Horn on October 2. Jay Mariotti verified that no one had been injured.[citation needed]. So yeah; we have another PTI guy on the show, the third one as such. Kick Buttowski is his DTVA debut and only appearance. He has only five credits overall to his resume, what else can I say?

Everyone is shocked and appalled as Mike claims that he set up this robbery to get his attention and asks if he has it now and Rock says no. They exchange noes for a while as Mike finds a conveniently placed lever (JESUS~!) and pulls it on as we see a conveniently placed space satellite shoots a laser into Billy's white ass. It literally takes thirty seconds of poking and no selling before Billy notices this and...STUPID HANDICAPPED REDNECK ON FIRE~! This leads to Rock being Shaggy to Billy's Scooby-Doo and that is creepy no matter what you believe in. Basically; Mike admits that he created a laser beam to destroy the city. Rock has that look like "You have been watching Plunder and Lightning again, haven't you Mike?" and he wants a fleet of solid gold yachts. Now here's where hiring Chico Alverez would have been apporos. He also wants the Hope Diamond, a Loch Ness monster, a limousine full of salted pretzels, a spaceship and $10,000,000,000 in pennies, which need to be delivered to his lair. That last one caused everyone to gasp as Mike wants this to be delivered by Rock Buttowski in person as he sets the laser to Climax, because we have to be intentionally cliched in this episode. Even Rock is calling him out on this; so you know it's BS. Mike waves goodbye like Joker Sting as the feed goes dead and we now have a Teena Sometimes marathon. Geez; even in this dream, Teena has not aged a day. Everyone screams and bails. I don't know if it's because of Dirtbike Mike's threats, or Teena Sometimes is somehow beloved by everyone except for Kick and Gunther. Somehow; I'm picking the later knowing that iCarly had the same love in with Fred Figglehorn. Billy asks what to do now and Rock proclaims that they meet Mike's demands...and then some. So we head to Dirtbike Mike's island, so it's basically a wimpy version of Pirate Island, only more generic. It's called the Dark One's Secret Lair; which is clearly only a secret to morons everywhere. So we zoom into Mike's bedroom which is a circular bed next to a furance and a toilet. The doorbell rings and Mike gets up as he was wearing a human flesh mask as a sleeping mask. HA! Somehow; despite clearly showing orange slippers, he's wearing white boots as he is heading to the door. It opens up and he magically is fully dressed from his sleep uniform. And then we see a blond woman in a domamatrix outfit with black boots and an axe. YIKES!

Mike is shocked and amazed because we see at the shoreline is all the demands he made right there for all to see. However; Mike sees something wrong with this picture because Rock is not here as Kendell has taken his place. Why? Why not?! Adult Kendell Perkins is voiced by Catherine Taber and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): In 2000, the Georgia native made her feature film debut starring alongside Soleil Moon Frye and Wil Wheaton in the coming of age dramedy The Girls' Room, where she and Frye play college roommates with contrasting lifestyles.[3][4][5] Taber got her break into video game voice-overs in Knights of the Old Republic in 2003,[6] where she played Mission Vao.[7][8] She voiced Penelo in Final Fantasy XII, for which she was nominated for a National Academy of Video Game Trade Reviewers (NAVGTR) Award for Supporting Role in a Drama in 2006.[9] She was the voice of Padmé Amidala in the Star Wars: The Clone Wars animated film and television series that aired on Cartoon Network from 2008 to 2014. Although she auditioned for the part, she credits her video game roles in the Star Wars universe as helping her become a fan and landing the part.[10] She also voiced Amidala in the related Star Wars video games, as well as the character Vette in Star Wars: The Old Republic. She voiced Princess Leia in the Star Wars: Force Unleashed video games,[1] and will be voicing her in the upcoming animated comedy series Star Wars Detours. Meanwhile, in live-action roles, she had a starring role in the horror movie The Morningside Monster which screened at the Phoenix Film Festival in April 2014.[11] Outside of science fiction films and games, she voiced Ginger the Pig in A Pig's Tail, an animated 2012 short film made by Aardman Animations for The Humane Society.[12][13][14] She also runs a charity website called Games for Soldiers where she collects video game donations for U.S. soldiers overseas.[15][16] She began her career in 1997 as a secretary in The First To Go; followed by being an unnamed woman in a cameo appearance of Union Square. Kick Buttowski is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Faking It (Aunt Sara), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Karis/Voe Atell/Padme Amidala) and Attack Of The Morningside Monster (Mandy Jenkins) are her most recent credits, among others. She has 53 Acting credits and 3 Self credits to her resume.

Mike protests this outrage as Adult Kendell is at least one and a half heads taller than Mike. And then we channel Clamantha from Fish Hooks and see Rock on Billy's shoulders. Oh, snap! I can just hear Clamantha exploding any second....BOOM! Billy and Rock proclaim that they have met the demands and Mike laughs it off as he finds a conveniently placed plunger and blows up the demands right there. See idiots; that is why you never negoitate with terrorists. Mike wants control of people's lives and you cannot have that when you get what you want and then accept it. The demands were a decoy, says I. Rock asks about the laser as Mike pushes a button on the remote control; which is clearly a knob (this has to be a dream, because that's the logic break in any sane universe) and we have STUPID HANDICAPPED REDNECK ON FIRE....AGAIN~! Mike admits that he did all this to kick Rock Callahan's ass; and Rock blows him off because he's super buff as he bounces his pecks ala Lex Lugar. Dirtbike Mike; we're coming for you....! Oh wait; I'm not doing that joke! Mike brings out a whistle and blows it as a giant jetplane rises from the water and transforms into a robot as Mike jumps up and gets inside of it. Billy calls this sweet; which means he has never watch sentai anime in his entire life. Why doesn't that surprise me? Rock is not impressed as his clothes turn into armor and we get the fighting video game staredown of doom. Rock advances to the robot and squeezes the robot arm as we once again channel all the spots from Deadman's Drop that I hated so much back then and don't care about now. It's called Forearm Friction by the way; so I expect a Dillweed Chop and a Tearjerker any moment now. Yip; the Robo Chop is the Dillweed Chop as I expected. You know; I would be more impressed if the fight wasn't a replay of the Deadman Drop fight between Brad and Kick in the pilot episode. Then again; morons tell me to stop using my brain and I'll keep telling them to sod off because they are not the boss of me. I'm not going to bother calling this; because it's the exact same fight as the first Brad/Kick fight, only with different names. Even down to the KO being exactly the same footage. The only difference: Rock Buttowski won and the Tearjerker never happened as Rock grabs Mike and flips off the helmet to reveal...Brad?! Okay; my mind is officially blown now. No, not really, considering that the moves were telegraphed from the start. Rock drops Brad and screams as Kick wakes up because it was all just a dream. What a shocker that was? So here's the finish: Kick gets out of bed and walks into Brad's room. Brad is sleeping awkwardly and Kick punches him in the arm and then walks out stage left. Brad wakes up and protests this outrage. I agree; it's Kick's fault for dreaming that stupid dream. And geez; Kick is still jealous after losing the first fight in Deadman's Drop, too. Kick screams at him to stay out of his dreams and slams the door. Brad proclaims that he needs to invest in a giant robot and we fade to black to end the episode at 7:00 approx. This was a cute dumb dream and a copy of the fight from Deadman's Drop with a jealously ending to end it. ** 1/2...Oh wait; I'm subtracting 1/2* for Kick rapping to Cheetah Chug with Gunther and the boombox at the end. ** (40%).


Well; I don't have much to say about Kyle E. Coyote (took only one hour to complete since no one spoke and it was basically physical spots; like a Roadrunner cartoon), other than it was a cute, fun and dumb parody of the Roadrunner shorts which would have been even better if they had four minutes of extra time to pay off the gags better. Overall; it was Kick bumping and Kyle being the roadrunner, which is two pretty good combinations; so that was a win. Kick's emoting made this a fun episode to watch because for once; Kick actually did a great job emoting here and it makes me wonder why he didn't do this from the start. It would have have made the earlier seasons fun to watch. So there you go; seven minutes of a fun car crash, that's all I asked of it. Rocked was a lame dream sequence out of jealousy because Kick lost to Brad in the first fight they had in the show; and the movie references were just there to cover up that fact. Billy Stumps was amusing enough and everything else was just there, so it was a dull episode. Locked out was pretty fun with the robot dominating Kick for the most part and then winning the battle using Forsenic Files-equse spots to ground Kick for disobeying Harold again. I also like how Kick got his for disobeying at the end as well. Hey; you destroy a security robot because you were told not to go to the movies, you pay for it. That's the rub though, everytime Kick pays for it, he gets caught! So; we got three middling shorts and there's nothing wrong with that. So...

Thumbs in the middle for Kyle E. Coyote and Locked Out, while a thumbs down for Rocked and I'll see you next time.

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