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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil

Last Fan Standing/Nerves Of Steal Rant

Reviewed: 09/16/2017

The Last Fan Standing Is The One With Nerves Of Steal!

So; we finally reached the last two shorts of the series, and in Last Fan Standing's case; the final episode that aired in the series. So; we begin the final episode aired in the series with Kick doing the longest stunt in history; so he wants 24 hours of sleep, but now gets into a war between Jackie The Stalker Whackerman and Cousin Kyle in who is Kick's number one fan. *****! Oh wait; sorry, force of habit! Then from there; Kick, while in the midst of his para-boarding ambitions, is strapped for a material that can withstand the G-Forces when he is airborne but is denied such a thing when he tries to borrow such a thing from his neighbors. But when a thief surfaces in the neighborhood a sleep deprived Kick is accused of stealing the items so to clear his name he forms a Neighborhood Watch with Gunther. He eventually comes up with no leads and now has one night to turn up a perp, or the neighbors will be calling in the boys in blue. In the midst of his last ditch effort, even Kick will be surprised as to the thief's identity. So let's continue on shall we...?

Last Fan Standing is written by Derek Dressler with storyboards done by Mark Ackland. The direction is done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Nerves Of Steal is written by Patrick Andrew O'Connor, with storyboards done by Brett Varon while direction was done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Brett's resume is like this: Dexter's Lab in 1996, then Family Guy, Hare & Loathing in Las Vegas, Evil Con Carne, The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, My Gym Partner's A Monkey, The Marvelous Misadventures Of Flapjack, Chowder, Adventure Time, Brickleberry, Bravest Warrior, Secret Mountain Fort Awesomeand Clarence. Brandy & Mr. Whiskers is his DTVA debut and he did storyboard revising on Kick before this one. That's it. Episodes are done with Toon Boom like all episodes of this show.

Opening Moment #1: Title card features Kick arm doing the devil pose as we at least have some pattern in the coloring in the episode title this time around.

Last Fan Standing: We begin this one at Kick's hideout with a close up shot of the FLAMING HOOP OF BACKDRAFT with Kick going completely through the thing complete with lasso snake, black blindfold and jackhammered background. There are two flaming hoops on the ramp as Kick goes through them with ease, with roof strips on the bridge concrete as Gunther cheers on in the background. This goes on through the night and into the morning as he's got two snake lassos now as Gunther yells at four kids (one of them is Emo Kid) to literally not try this stunt at home. I wouldn't try this stunt on television either; but that didn't stop these writers. The four kids pout and walk out stage left as Kick is ask yelling at Gunther if it was a week as Gunther confuses it with one year. HAHA! Kick insists it was a week as Gunther proclaims that he's done...twice. Kick faceplants as a result and his faceplants seem to have killed the two snakes in the process. Gunther is stunned as Kick rises up with bloodshot eyes, a sure sign that he's going to sleep steal again. More on that in the next episode after this one. Kick yawns a lot as his next task is twenty four hours of uninteruppted sleep. Which means; half of Mellowbrook's property is about to be sleep stolen. POW! OUCH! Ummmm... He thanks the snakes and they nod; so they aren't dead. The snake slide down a crack in the concrete and that is that as they snore off-screen. Scene change to a shot of the sun in the sky near the cul-de-sac as Gunther and Kick are walking on the sidewalk as Gunther calls this the longest stunt ever. Kick looks drunk and talks about stepping up his game to join the Pantheon which are the best of the best as we get a jackhammered shot of Jock Wilder, Rock Callahan, Boom McCondor, Billy Stumps and Dirtbike Mike. That is some star power...NOT! Kick says that one day, he wants to do a stunt with the Pantheon, but sleep comes first and nothing is going to stop him. Then the weather gets stormy as storm clouds cover the sun and leave whip in the wind, because guess who is coming to crash Kick's party. Take one guess, it's too shocking! SURPRISE! It's Antonio Inoki~!

POW! OUCH! Ummmm... Yip; it's Cousin Kyle strapped to his seat with a half dozen seatbelts and yelling peanut butter is made of peanut. He's also got shock treatements, in the RV during this. Oh goody; there's zero way Kick is succeeding now and I don't care. This is going to be great. His seat turns into a rocket pack and he flies into the air. So the rocket packs in Crumbs! was an emergency Anti-Cousin Kyle device? That's a load of bullcrap. Kick looks up and Gunther actually is praying for Cousin Kyle. HAHA! Then there's no music at all as Kyle slowly rises up behind Kick and Gunther; and looks up at his own Team Rocket exit. HAHA! Cousin Kyle rules and I'm so sad that this is the final episode with him. Kyle then finally speaks at a hundred miles per hour; I don't care what he says, it was awesome and succeeds in annoying Kick to no end. Gunther puts his hat back on, follows Kick and looks annoyed. So Kyle admits that he saw the greatest stunt ever through a telescope stolen from a near nudist camp. I say that because Kyle admits that they wear nothing but underwear. Then suddenly; there is a second Cousin Kyle waving and this shocks Kick and Gunther hard. Somehow; the real one was in front of them all this time because the one behind them disappears. Kick tries to get one sentence in, but it's cut off with Kyle's head literally blowing it's top off. HAHA! Cousin Kyle is in World Championship form here and it was great! Somehow; this didn't burn the graffiti coming out of his head as Kick doesn't want this to go fast, and so Kyle blows his stack and closes his head. HAHA! Kick tries to talk again, but Kyle is blowing steam and has the waterworks completely ready for the disappointment. HAHA! Kyle is toying with Kick and I love it! Kick finally gets it out that he's tired and hopes he understands. Sorry Kick; that doesn't work on fanboys. Ask Nintendo fanboys about Iwata's "please understand" catchphrase and come back to me. Kyle is so whacked up that he is funny just by his mere presence. Kyle proclaims that he is Kick's number one fan...

...Now; I know what you are all thinking...What would be more awesome than having Cousin Kyle on this show? The answer: How about, Kyle yells this and at one of the front windows of a house, Jackie The Stalker Whackerman hears the entire thing and is pissed off by this. Jackie breaks the door (which doesn't break down, somehow), and somehow has Dhaslam's leg strechy powers, allowing her to thread the needle through the tiny hole in the door, kick Gunther away and hold onto Kick like she's his overprotective mother. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Kyle steals Jackie and claims he's Kick's number one fan as Jackie steals Kick back and blows off Kyle; as Kyle takes a decent bump on his ass on the concrete, which he completely no sold. So yes; they proclaim their dominance in being his number one fan by planning the greatest celebration in the history of this show. I am so loving this, and it's so fitting too: The two best characters in the series are in a war to prove their worth to Kick Buttowski as number one fans; by having the greatest celebration on Earth for him. And the best part is; Kick is the one who hates this the most, and I don't like him. That makes this compelling and awesome. I should just shut down this review right now and not do play by play; because it's just going to get way too surreal. However; I'm a critic and it's my job to review this episode, so let's move on. Kyle wants a lot of puppets and root beer as Jackie responds by murdering Kyle with the SLEDGEHAMMER OF PLOT right on his poor head complete with jackhammer background. It took exactly TEN seconds for the surrealness of this episode to begin. Kyle sells it like he was killed instantly as Jackie sticks out her tongue and has a retainer when Kick was five years old. Holy crap! Kyle's hair looks like a woman's hairstyle; but Kyle don't care as he stops selling death. Kyle responds with three retainers in between his fingers when Kick was four, three and two years old. This goes on and on and on and Kick is acting like he literally wants to be somewhere else and maybe retire from daredeviling all together.

Kyle then shows off that Kick has a Nazi twin brother who I guess is named Tritt. Kick finally blows them both off; causing Kyle to throw Tritt away and it lands off-screen nearly absuing a cat in the process. I was hoping Jackie punched Tritt in the face, just to make my life complete, but no dice. I club BS&P~! In the face! Kick claims that he has a Krackpotkin idea complete with two light bulbs appearing out of nowhere. Why not? Jackie's sledgehammer was completely out of nowhere and it was great, so who cares if this breaks logic and reason? Gunther has apparently been written out by teleport and I don't care. They grab the light bulbs and then argue about who got it first. HAHA! Ummm; Kick should not be saying "the perfect solution" on television for obvious reasons. See WCW 1996! Jackie stands on Kick's helmet and does the most awkward pose in the history of woman characters, and Kyle does the most distrubing pose in history by hiding in Kick's white stunt suit. I need to leave and get my lunch now; before I go nuts and forget. So basically; he tells them to fight among themselves for the title of number one while he sleeps. Jackie and Kyle growl at each other and then bail stage right. Then we have an off-screen fist fight between the two; and I CLUB BS&P~! In the neck this time, because Gunther comes back. Dammit! Gunther doesn't like this because it's crazy against crazy and it says in the "Crazyology 101" purple book; that crazy against crazy equals a bigger crazy. Sod off Gunther! Then we get a dream sequence as Jackie and Kyle are flying World War I planes in the air over the cul-de-sac. That is insane in itself; but they are shooting machine guns at each other with yellow flashes. Wait a second? They are shooting MACHINE GUNS?! You mean; actual bullet shooting guns? What the hell?! I thought all bullet shooting guns were barred from Disney XD programming after Sandy Hook? Oh lord...

Ladies & Gentleman; I was wrong. For many years since 1996; I thought Disney's policy on DTVA and children's shows was that no more bullet shooting guns would be allowed on their programming. (Well; not counting their programming before 1996 of course airing on their channels, Toon Disney edits notwithstanding.) This meant the chances of TaleSpin being rebooted was slim and none. Well; I was wrong, this scene proves that bullet shooting guns are indeed allowed in DTVA after all. Don't write to me and claim that it was a dream sequence and it doesn't count. Balderdash! Doesn't matter; no bullet shooting guns period. This means TaleSpin can be rebooted after all, without incident. I have video evidence of a dogfight with machine guns in this final episode to prove otherwise! And then the plane literally crash into each other and explode! AWESOME! We head back to reality (BOO! HISS!) as Kick agrees with Gunther and wants them to work together as he wants them to throw the celebration together; causing Gunther to facepalm himself. HAHA! This causes Jackie and Kyle to rubs their heads around against a green and yellow jackhammered background in that order. HAHA! Lots of wavy arms ensue as Kick cuts them off and tells them to do it quietly. And then they do their wacky moves quietly. HAHA! Kick walks to Gunther and Gunther calls this a bigger mistake because it equals super crazy. Sod off, Gunther...AGAIN! Kick claims it's the only way as Jackie and Kyle shake hands in a truce and they both get the DALEK X-RAY BEAM OF DEATH which shocks even Kick and Gunther. This is so great and we're not even halfway through this insanity. Gunther calls it super crazy -- like it's a BAD THING-- and then Jackie and Kyle cackle and laugh in an evil way. Raven who?! And I don't mean the one from Teen Titans any version. Thunder noises ensue as Kick has the Gruffi pose on because he likes this. Good; it's your deathwish now. Gunther doesn't see this as a good thing; but Kick don't care because he needs 40 awesome winks while closing his eyes. Jump cut to Kick in bed, sleeping. Kick tosses to the left and it's finally over for him...

KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK~~! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes; Jackie and Kyle are in Kick's room screaming their heads off on Kick with jackhammered background. Jackie then starts throwing party hats at Kick, just because. HAHA! Good shots to boot! Kyle wants party flavors that go UUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA~! Somehow; the jackhammering background makes the insanity of these two even more awesome. Kyle makes noises for my entertainment and Kick's torment as he covers his ears. Kick is pissed and blows them off. Kick pushes them out of the room and slams the door shut. Then he covers the door with boards and nails them to the wall with a hammer. Kick goes back to bed and forgets to barricade the door to overkill it, so this will fail epically. Kick tries to turn to the right and Kick rises from behind talking a mile a minute. He is the male Pistol Pete. Somehow; he manages to jackhammer a background for a Spanish band and a classical band; while at the same time, managed to get into Kick's bedroom for real. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm sorry everyone; this makes no sense, but I don't care. Kick jackhammers a background of pain and agony as Jackie cuts a hole through the floor and pops up. Leave it to Jackie to using actual logic and reason, despite her incredible lack of foresight. We discuss rides, sockpuppets, marionettes, jackhammers (with jackhammered background, HAR HAR~!) and anvils. Jackie's lack of foresight causes her to show the items backwards, so the anvil is the jackhammer and the jackhammer is the anvil. HAHA! A rodeo clown (the same one we have seen many times before) and even a lion, tiger and bear gets involved in this whole mess of insanity. What; no alligator? Seriously? Kick throws everything asunder and is pissed off royalfully complete with jackhammered background. Kick runs through the door complete with Scooby Doo Snow Angel spot; which makes it even better considering how cheap Harold is, making the spot look believable.

Kick tries to hide in the sofa downstairs; but Kyle and Jackie cut him off by sitting on the sofa and this somehow manages to pop Kick out. They laugh like a bunch of evil heels; despite being the best babyfaces of this damn show. Then Kick goes into Brianna's bedroom. I was expecting Brianna to shoo him out; but Jackie and Kyle come out of the closet; wearing princess dresses. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sadly; they don't have eyes for each other, even though they are the perfect couple. This leads to Kick hiding in a pile of mail inside Harold's office on the desk; but it gets blown away by Jackie and Kyle hiding in the shelf. Kick hides in the trash can in Brad's room; which is a toxic waste dump, I have determined and the scent is gone when Jackie and Kyle sniff the room like dogs. They bail and Kick is relieved; so he goes to sleep. Then Jackie and Kyle return with gas masks on. They laugh out loud, Kick hears it; goes dizzy and literally runs out of the house. Kick climbs up a giant sign board which clearly has a poster they says "Kick Day!" with Kick doing the double devil horns pose. Kick tries to sleep; but Jackie and Kyle burst right through the sign and scream. HAHA! Kick falls from the sign and we head to a mattress dealership owned by Rowdy as Kick is inside climbing on top of a pair of mattresses and the second he lays on his back; Kyle and Jackie bust through the mattresses and scream. HAHA! Kick bails and we head to the zoo as Kick literally walks into the kangeroo area (which I'm sure is against the rules; but whatever) and literally hops into the pouch of a kangeroo eating grass. Kick tries to sleep; but the kangeroo wipes the swe...Oh wait; it takes off the costume because it's Jackie and Kyle screaming again. HAHA! Kick bails and runs in the alleyway. He jumps into a pile of garbage (how symbolic eh?) and lies on it as Kick goes into a dream sequence which involves Kick rising on clouds. Then three clouds above Kick disappear as Kick is now literally on top of Kyle's hair because Kick is such a little vainglorious pest of a bastard. Kyle yells slower than molasses, this scares Kit and he free falls...

...right into a vortex containing the mug of Jackie as they tease Kick being eaten and Kick instantly wakes up. Kick bails stage left and you would think that it would be Jackie and Kyle. Well; you're wrong, it was Papercut Peterson crying because Kick basically violated him by breaking into his garbage home. That was the low point of the episode everyone and we head back to the cul-de-sac as the street is filling up with denizens during Kick Appreciation Day. I don't know what's unbelievable: Kyle and Jackie actually pulling this off; or the denizens buying into Kick deserving such a celebration in the first place. Ummmmm...the later. Everyone is here as Mr. Vickle is creating Kick ice statues, there is a bouncy house of Kick, a Ferris Wheel, a Merry-Go-Round with cars, casino motif and Kick's face. Chip Green and Three Dee (Horace and Pansty) make an appearance here, Kick foam fingers galore, Wade appears, Lots of fair food in Kick's image are eaten and made. Luigi Vandetta makes an appearance in this show as well, eating a sucker of Kick's devil horn pose whole. Even Kick is shocked by this; so you know the writers are going full out on this episode. Kick does the Gruffi pose and proclaims that this will end soon enough because Mrs. Chickerelli will call the police; and we see Mrs. Chickerelli bouncing in the Kick Bouncy House having the time of her life. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You know Kick is screwed when even Chick-F'N-erelli is having more fun than her own dog Oskar. Only Jackie and Kyle could make this possible. Miss Dominic the referee from Roll Reversal is guarding the bouncy house. Jump cut to Gordon Gibble at the DJ and gets sandwiched by Gunner and Murphy DiPazzi as Kick cannot believe this is happening. And that is literally what he said as Jackie and Kyle have the softest meeting of the minds ever while hugging Kick at the same time. AWESOME~! They somehow manage to share one mouth in all of this insanity. They channel Terry Funk even better than Terry Funk does and Kick jumps into the air and screams with another jackhammered background.

Kick is screaming, pleading and his knees are knocking because he wants some sleep right now! And if they were his number one fan; they would f*cking get it! Oh; but Kyle and Jackie have one more surprise in store for Kick and Kick doesn't want it, damn him! Jackie calls it really, really good as Kick is almost ready to explode. Because he wants one second of sleep. Jackie and Kyle basically say "okay; you can sleep" and they let Kick go back into his room. Jackie and Kyle basically yell to the choir that the show is over and everyone in Mellowbrook...and I do mean everyone sulks in response. Javier, Brianna, Howie, the puppet master from some episode I don't remember anymore, Mouth, the general from Kick The Habit, the PTI voiced police duo, and even Scarlett Rosetti! Ah; there you are Razz and Hush. Even Grandpa Buttowski made the trip and was in the bouncy house with Mrs. Chickerelli and she's pissed because she wanted...to dance! So everyone leaves as the leafs whip in the wind and out comes a helicopter dragging a black tour bus and dropping it in the cul-de-sac. The side door opens and out comes Rock Callahan, Boom McCondor, Jock Wilder, Billy Stumps and Dirtbike Mike, also known as the Pantheon completed with orange star jackhammered background. Jackie and Kyle tell them the party's over because Kick's sleeping and the stunts they were going to do with him are cancelled. The Pantheon shrug their shoulders, get back on the bus and get spirited away by the helicopter. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh boy! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Best "screw you" to Kick ever! Because you see, in storyline; Kyle and Jackie's surprise was to have Kick do the one thing he always wanted to do and that is do a stunt with all five of Kick's childhood heroes, for real. But Kick needs to sleep first and he hasn't got it yet. HAHA! Jackie and Kyle admit that working together was better than killing each other, which is hilarious considering that they only fought for less than three minutes in this episode!

Then Gunther walks in, filing his nails and calls himself the number one fan. Uh-oh! Those are fighting words, Gunther Magnumson! Jackie and Kyle are pissed; they yell at each other, Kick don't care because he's sleeping in his room and they get into a fight off-screen. Circle fade out and we return to the crowded cul-de-sac as Kick and Gunther exchange notes while Gunther wears Kick's foam finger as Gunther calls him sellable. Incorrect! Gunther than asks if he wants to shred Deadman's Drop; Kick accepts and they bail stage left to end the episode and the series officially at 10:20 approx. This is the best episode in the series bar none, all due to Jackie and Kyle. It had everything, including the greatest "screw you Kick" finish ever. It even had Mrs. Chickerelli getting her crowning moment of awesome and cameos by Luigi Vandetta and Scarlett Rosetti! What more could you want? ***** (100%); plus a stern talking to by BS&P. More to the point: This episode aired about eight days before the Sandy Hook shooting occured. Uh-oh indeed!

Opening Moment #2: Title card features yellow wavy line letters and Kick trying to keep the "a" in Steal from being stolen; or is actually stealing it. It's hard to tell actually.

Nerves Of Steal: We begin this one with Kick wearing a parachute pack as he's going to parasail over the cul-de-sac as he does the double devil horn pose with his skateboard and let's do this. So he ramps off and parachutes while creating a cloud image of himself. Pfft, whatever Kick. Kick asks what's happening, says he's doing it, and then his parachute rips in two. Kick free falls, Gunther runs in for the save, but is distracted by the out of nowhere nickel and Kick lands hard on his face on the lukewarm, concrete sidewalk. Kick is concussed and his purple tinted visor gets shattered. Gunther wants to go for ice cream; which would be a reasonable request, but this is Kick and paraboarding is more important than spending time with Gunther and having an ice cream. Kick claims that he needs something stronger than Denise's bedsheets to handle the G-forces. Gunther suggests taking Mr. Vickle's hammock, in which Mr. Vickle in swimming trunks and drink is sleeping on right now. Close up shots of ropes and rope sounds as we do a closeup shot of Kick's face and likes it. So he skateboards in and somehow it rained the previous night as mud suddenly swamps Mr. Vickle's entire body. Mr. Vickle wakes up and he seems to like it, since he asks about the mud bath. Kick gets on the hammock and asks nicely to borrow it, while talking like a phony scientist who thinks he knows what he is talking about, instead of talking from a script written by writers. Oh; and the mud's gone already as Mr. Vickle tells him to talk in plain English; and after Kick gets to the point, the answer is a no. Geez; what a shocker? Mr. Vickle tells him to find something else as Kick goes to Mrs. Chickerelli's residence as Kick is asking Mrs. Chickerelli about borrowing the purple cover from her car. She no sells the deal. Jump cut to the clothesline containing a blanket containing printouts of Kendell's report cards. Of course, Kendell is no selling that deal and walks out stage left. Jump cut to Brad no selling the use of the Tikini Lumberjack flag hanging on the side of the front wall and then slamming the window shut. What a shocker?!

Now, I thought that would be the end of it, but Brad comes down from behind and uses the flag to whack Kick in the ass and Kick oversells it with a red jackhammered background in pain. Yawn. Somehow, Brad teleports back and puts the flag back up while doing his catchphrase. Kick proclaims that he will not rest until he finds the material to create his paraboarding dreams come true. No adult sells; and we get a lot of door slamming on the cul-de-sac as Gunther claims that this maybe wasn't meant to be. Kick's eyes are bloodshot because he hasn't slept in three days. Riiigggghhhttttt. I thought that he was just not exercising enough. Kick puts down the skateboard and faceplants on it. That was funny, actually. Gunther brings out a brown out of nowhere fur blanket and covers Kick with it. Wait; why not use that instead? Gunther calls him a sweet angel. Geez; that's the kind of projection we don't need on this show, Gunther. So we jump cut to AFTER HAPPY HOUR (after dark) as Kick is snoozing on the sidewalk in front of a yellow house as we pan up the moon and then the next morning it's sunny as Kick is drooling on his skateboard, and suddenly wakes up to hear Mr. Vickle screaming for help because his hammock was stolen and Mr. Vickle accuses Kick of stealing it. Then two dozen adults run in and surround Kick, including Magnus, Helga, Mrs. Chickerelli, Jackie's mother, Brad and several others. Brad doesn't believe this because if there was a thief in the cul-de-sac, his Tikini Lumberjack flag would be stolen. Mr Vickle calls checkmate and of course, the flag is now missing and it gets music for that. Brad runs stage left screaming as Mr. Vickle blames Kick some more and even Mrs. Chickerelli is questionning this. Yes folks; Mrs. Chickerelli is not buying this, probably because of her personal grudge with Mr. Vickle. Mr. Vickle claims that the motive was for the stupid paraboarding stunt (my words, not his). Kick denies this because he was asleep at the time of the thievery and Gunther calobarates his story by drooling and rubbing the brown fur blanket. I was half expecting Magnus to accuse Gunther of stealing his blanket from the house; but he admitted that it was his Linus blanket; or moose pelt. Whatever, Gunther.

Kick backflips onto a mailbox and just incriminates himself more by listing his past offenses like vandalism and standing on mailboxes right in front of the adults. Mr. Vickle is not impressed and tells him to prove that he didn't steal. Kick proclaims that he will and thus he'll begin a Neighborhood Watch as they are in lockdown now as we see chain link fences contstructed all across the cul-de-sac; one of them nearly kills Oskar the Dressed Up Dog. Kick comes out with a nightstick, transmitter, badge and his skateboard. That's the look of a petty tyrant who is trying to make the public look the other way. So guilty of stealing, this Kick Buttowski is. So Kick rides on the skateboard as we see Gunther in the foreground riding a segueway with a white helmet and goggles on, looking like Mouth's father. Kick stops and Gunther fails to WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE~! Kick then turns around and notices something, and then skateboards around with Gunther in tow to see Magnus in green trunks lying down on a hammock. Kick lands on top of the hammock and did I mention that Kick has a red siren on his helmet now? Kick accuses Magnus of stealing Mr. Vickle's hammock as Magnus blows it off because Mr. Vickle lost one and Magnus is sleeping in one. Suuuurrrreee, Kick, sure. Gunther rides in and admits that... it's Magnus' hammock and apparently it was as a result of Gunther peeing in it. I think that was what Gunther was implying because he giggles after the promo. So we HIT THE MONTAGE~ as there is a barricade with a metal detector in the area as Mr. Vickle has some roses and the metal detector scares him so much that he drops his roses on the pavement. Gunther and Kick come in and pat him down to reveal that he is wearing a championship belt underneath. Mr. Vickle pulls down his shirt and tells him not to judge him. Ummm; you were a former professional wrestler doing a effeminate gimmick? That sounds really accurate. So we get a sequence of Kick using the vaccum cleaner to steal Mrs. Chickerelli's mail for security inspection by Gunther. Now this episode really sucks! HAHA!

Ron Sparks: It sucks worse than Shaun Desmond.

Somehow; this security tyranny thing sucks too. One of the letters gets shredded of course by Gunther as we get the cars trying to leave the cul-de-sac with a giant lineup as Harold is first. Kick is at the barricade and asks if Harold is his real name, and Harold just waves at him. HAHA! Harold is such a clueless putz, no wonder Kick gets away with everything. Well; almost everything. Harold is going out for pizza and since it contains pineapple, Kick accepts his story and lets Harold pass. Harold drives off as Gunther follows him with the Gunther Positioning System. I'm SHOCKED that this didn't get a Fairly Oddparents jackhammering spot. Gunther is actually running beside Harold's car during this; which looks not believable in the slightest as we head back to the house with Kick hiding in the shrubs next to the entrance because he comes out the second Brad walks out the door. Kick has a paper and pencil because Brad has to sign out to leave the cul-de-sac. Brad does the "IT" finger point years before Chris Jericho did and proclaims that he takes no orders from dillweeds. Kick proclaims that they have a resister and out comes Gunther out of nowhere...Oh wait; this is the scene I was waiting for. Kick orders Gunther to taze Brad; but BS&P rulez and they probably don't own a stun gun or taser weapon of any kind, this leads to probably the most devastating move in all of new Disney, the TASER TICKLE FINGERS OF DEATH~! Brad no sells this thing...for about ten seconds and then completely oversells it to the point where he almost dies. POLICE BRUTALITY~....Oh wait; here come the adults protesting this outrage and they have had enough of his bullying. Then Mrs. Chickerelli makes a valid argument saying that this proves nothing, except that it's evidence that Kick is doing this to throw them off the scent that it was Kick all along who stole, because Kick is the only one who has an actual motive. So, they decide to mount a Neigborhood Watch on Kick as Brad wants to tase Kick, but Gunther counters with the TASER TICKLE FINGERS OF DEATH to stop that idea.

Kick denies it and wants one night to clear his name, even Brad approves of this; just to make it stop. Brad's selling is off the charts today. Mr. Vickle decides "all right"; and the adults leave as they threaten to call the police tomorrow if Kick fails. Brad tries to get to Gunther; but Gunther threatens TICKLE FINGERS and Brad bails like a coward. Kick proclaims that this is serious and the only thing left to do is catch the thief in the act and have a stake out; as Gunther of course cannot take this seriously because he's bringing out the steak sauce. So it's AFTER HAPPY HOUR with a shot of the moon and "Law Enforcement Music" plays in the background; before we see a spotlight being shone around the tree. There are dozens of cameras and two spotlight on the tree; in between them is Kick himself. Lots of cameras, barb wire on the roofs of houses...This is the point where it becomes obvious who the thief really is because Gunther comes up and says that no thief would get past this. It's either Kick or Gunther or even both because: Kick is the only one who has an actual motive and Gunther is either the misdirection or the actual thief on Kick's behalf. Plus; Gunther was the only one awake when Kick was sleeping. So we agree to shifts and Gunther gets the first shift and two seconds into it, Gunther is asleep on the platform. He sings in his sleep and sucks his thumb. I also realize another reason Gunther might have done it: Gunther in Sleepy River Wild has the gimmick as a sleepwalker. Gunther sucks his thumb, so Kick takes the first shift after all. So we hit the sequence of spotlighting the cul-de-sac and Kick slowly falls to sleep on his feet, snoring. Kick headbutts the spotlight and it lands on the clothesline where Kendell's report card blanket was hanging. Jump kick to a shadow of the clothesline and Kick's shadow steals the blanket off-screen. So yes; it's Kick, the video doesn't lie anymore. Kick turned around during the night and turned his back on the spotlight, just to make it look like he didn't aim the spotlight at the clothesline as it's morning.

Kendell wakes up and takes off the pink sleeping mask to see her blanket has been stolen. She screams as Kick panics and suddenly; everyone in the cul-de-sac starts screaming because everyone's stuff from earlier is now missing. Everyone climbs up the cul-de-sac as Gunther's moose pelt blanket is also missing, which proves beyond a reasonable doubt that Kick is the thief, because Kick is the closest person to Gunther at the time of the thievery. They want to kill Kick; but Kick stops them and proclaims that he installed video cameras all around the cul-de-sac, therefore they'll have the thief on camera and thus this will all be over as they plan to "HONEY & BEE" the poor thief and run him out of town on a seedless bun; which even the adults are kind of looking like "That's sort of disgusting". So Kick decides to go back into his room to review the footage and he does this all alone. Why? I don't know. So he reviews the security footage on a dozen monitors and Kick cannot believe it, but I can. Kick stole everything and he has also stole Gunther's sleepwalking gimmick. This is the one time where having Gunther as the thief makes sense since sleep walking is one of Gunther's gimmicks, and therefore it would make more sense for that finish to happen. Instead; they did a swevere that we all saw coming, and it made no sense. Kick checks the closet and of course; everything is there, including Gunther's blanket. Kick cannot believe this until he watches the footage some more and notices that he fails at paraboarding while asleep to boot. So the adults are outside demanding to know who the thief is and at this point, Kick should just turn himself in and return all the stuff to their rightful owners; and be done with it. That's what restorative justice is after all. And to be fair; Kick does the later actually as we see Kick paraboarding around with Gunther's blanket as the parachute returning all the stolen property back to the owners. The problem with this is multiple fold:

[1.] Why did Kick just ask Gunther to use his fur blanket? If he said no; then fine. If yes; this turns into an idiot plot. I betcha that is what the finish is going to be.
[2.] Kick doesn't turn himself in and tries to get out of trouble with a stunt, because that's in Kick's contract. He's still the thief regardless, the deed is done, this doesn't change that fact.
[3.] This isn't going to work because he will still have Gunther's blanket at the end; which will incriminate him as the damn thief. So; you might as well turn yourself in and be done with it.

Kick crashes into the wall of Gunther's house after returning everything to the owners and hides underneath the blanket as Gunther comes in from his bed and notices the blanket on the floor. He grabs it and out comes Kick; who instantly confesses to the crime. Yes; he confessed right in front of Gunther like a goddamn idiot. All Kick had to do was say: "I found your blanket; you left it at the house." and that would be that. Kick gets away with the perfect crime. But no; Kick screws up at the most important time and Gunther gets all pissed off. Not because Kick stole his blanket; but because it's not a moose pelt. I hope Magnus runs in and says: "It's both actually." Then we discover that Kick completely screwed this whole thing up as everyone has everyone else's stuff and they are yelling at each other. Kick finally decides enough and decides to take his "HONEY & BEE ON A SEEDLESS BUN" treatment from the blood thristy mob as Gunther rubs his blanket some more. So we head back to Kick's house with the angry mob and Kick confesses to the crimes. Kick wants to forget this and the adults agree..by bringing out the beehive, seatless bike and honey, because restorative justice is for apologists you see. Kick swears and we fade to black, returning with Brad in the living room watching television as they show a photo of Kick and Brad in their younger years. He's watching Tikini Lumberjacks by the way as there is a lot of giggling and chainsaw noises in the background. Gunther comes out of nowhere, yells "tase" and Brad completely oversells it by crashing into the ceiling. HAHA! That ends the episode at 10:20 approx. This was a okay episode actually; and the writers did find a way to get themselves out of this without making Kick look like he got away with murder; but still, what an idiot plot this was? ** 1/2 (50%).

THE REVIEW LINE

Wow; a whiplash set of shorts this time around. Nerves of Steal was a pretty fun episode until the climax when we discover that Kick was the thief; which it fell apart at the end due to the stupid idiot plot. All Kick had to do was ask Gunther for the moose pelt blanket and he would have been able to do the stunt and we wouldn't have this stupid sleepwalking stealing plot. Kick and Gunther being cops was laughably bad and the Brad taser moment was funny as hell; in no small part of Brad's overselling of the tickling. However; once the climax came, it fell apart because Kick is an idiot, and the adults have less ethics than Kick does, somehow. Just took the air out of the episode. Good thing I did that episode first, because Last Fan Standing on the other hand, is the best episode of the series bar none. I cannot do explain it in a short paragraph because it's not enough to do it justice. All I can say is this: It's ten minutes of Jackie and Cousin Kyle going insane on Kick! That's all that needs to be said. It was awesome. It featured the greatest screwjob finish in new Disney history, cameos galore and machine guns. Yes, machine guns. Shooting real bullets. So if anyone thinks that TaleSpin cannot be rebooted, you are wrong! I know I was when I first saw this. This is the best episode in the new Disney to date; and I expected it to be a perfect episode; but my imagination was limited. This was the perfect way to end Kick Buttowski on television and showcase the two most over characters in the show. I approve of this. Sadly; this is not the final episode of the series for me, because next up is the 22 minute special: Bwar & Peace; which I assure you will be a totally anticlimatic way to end this series rant wise. So...

Thumbs way up for Last Fan Standing and thumbs in the middle for Nerves Of Steal and I'll see you next time.

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