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Kick Buttowski: Suburban Daredevil
Bwar & Peace Rant
Reviewed: 09/17/2017
Involving A Mayor From The NCAA!
Well everyone; it's finally the end of the vainglorious bastard's career as I tackle the last episode of this series, a two parter no less. The plot of this episode is as follows: After a botched re-enactment, Kick is selected to star in a Viking re-enactment over Gunther who really wanted to star in the re-enactment. After a second botched re-enactment in which Kick tries to set the record straight by having Gunther do the re-enactment instead of him, Gunther is now being mistaken for ancient Viking warrior Thor Thorson when he along with Kick's family visits the Old Country. Gunther is now being hailed as a hero and a celebrity instead of his usual status as a wing-man. Gunther states that he will never leave the old country again. Can Kick save their friendship before it's too late? Oooooo...This is the day of reckoning for this series, so let's continue on shall we...?
Bwar & Peace is written by Derek Dressler with storyboards done by Scott O'Brien, Troy Adomitis, Howie Perry and Chuck Klein. The direction is done by Chris Savino and Clay Morrow. Episodes are done with Toon Boom like all episodes of this show.
Opening Moment #1: Title card features a volcano erupting and one of the lava rocks is Kick's helmet. Whatever.
We begin this one with a red picture of a volcano and five vikings standing to the right of it in viking gear with only one of them holding a spear. Gunther is narrating about the old country, which there is a lot of Ted E. Bear moments including wolf moons and holding pies out of nowhere. They are ligonberry pies as we discover that the volcano is named Mount Eruptis which causes the viking to scatter for their lives. But fear not; Thor and his bigger than Thor axe is hear to save the day with his springloaded airplane of doom. Thor bounces the plane into the volcano and dies; but the volcano dies down as the vikings return and cheer him anyway; because it's all about the pie. Yawn, whatever. At least they allow death in this show. So then we return to reality (no, not really) as we head to the cul-de-sac as Gunther has created a volcano filled of laundry as Kick is setting up a springloaded airplane with a shark motif on the nose cone. Oh yeah; now I no longer buy Gunther's BS story about the vikings as Gunther claims that one contestent with the best renactment is going to fly to the Old Country to do the renactment of Thor Thorsen. Gunther dumps clothes as Kick wants Gunther to win the contestent and Gunther wants his clothes fresh. Pfft; whatever. Scene change to Gunther in the airplane as Kick mounts onto the nose of the airplane looking at Gunther with the video camera. Why yes; Gunther is wearing a viking helmet and holding an axe, why do you ask? Gunther wants to do this; and the axe flies out of his hand, cuts the rope, causing Gunther to crash onto the ground and the airplane to fly into the air with Kick on it. Gunther has the video camera in between his teeth and proclaims that he ruined the stunt. Kick is flying around and misses the volcano altogether; but pulls it back up and has got this. Kick flies the airplane and splashes into the volcano of liquid cleaner as we zoom out to see Gunther on the computer with Kick proclaiming how awesome the stunt is on their computer screen as it is broadcasted on the Bwar website. I'm guessing that they are in Battlesnax; as the video got over two million hits. Pfft; Switch got 32 million+ views, not impressed. Gunther checks his underwear for fun at the island counter and they are mountain spring fresh. Kick is happy for Gunther and then the door opens and this small viking dood with a red full on mustache and beard with a green shirt and viking top hat brings down the door and crushes Gunther and his spleen in it. OUCH!
At least they didn't do the "I'm fine" gimmick here and the small viking dood points at Kick and talks exactly like Dick Vitale. Uh-oh! It's the Mayor Of Old Country and he is voiced by Dick Vitale who is known as the most profilic and most annoying NCAA basketball color man of all time. According to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Following his departure as coach of the Detroit Pistons, Scotty Connal gave Vitale his first TV opportunity at the then fledgling ESPN cable network. His first reaction to the job of broadcaster was "Absolutely no way. I know nothing about TV. I want to get back to where I belong and my spirit belongs." He was reluctant to accept the position but his wife Lorraine told him to "go on TV and have some fun", so Vitale accepted on a temporary basis until another coaching job became available. He called ESPN's first college basketball game on December 5, 1979, when DePaul defeated Wisconsin 90–77.[2] His first play-by-play partner was Joe Boyle. Vitale was not a natural at first for broadcasting. He missed his first-ever production meeting when he was walking the streets of Chicago. Also, he would talk while the producers were talking to him through his earpiece, during commercials, and while the play-by-play man was talking. Vitale himself was not sure if broadcasting would fit him. Connal, who had hired him, told him, "You have a quality we can't teach." Vitale did not understand this until many people wanted his autograph at the 1983 Final Four. He credits a lot of his success to working with Jim Simpson at the beginning of his career. In 1985, after the American Broadcasting Company acquired ESPN, Vitale also began doing broadcasts on the ABC network. In 1999, Vitale was featured in a series of thirty-second promo shorts for "Hoops Malone". The shorts, which aired in heavy rotation on ESPN, were presented as a sitcom featuring Vitale, George Gervin and others, including a puppet called "O'Hoolix". ESPN promoted "Hoops" with banners and other marketing premiums, with the idea of generating buzz about the show, but no actual episodes were ever produced. Though this led to an offer for Vitale to do an actual sitcom, he turned down the opportunity.
In December 2002, Vitale called a St. Vincent – St. Mary's–Oak Hill Academy prep game, featuring then high school phenom LeBron James. He announced the game with Brad Nessler and NBA great Bill Walton.[3] By the 2004–05 season, Vitale was doing approximately 40 games a year.[4] Vitale is signed with ESPN through the 2014–15 college basketball season.[5] Vitale was recruited to do color in the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament by CBS but ESPN would not allow it. However, ESPN's analysts Jay Bilas and Len Elmore were allowed to provide color for CBS's tournament coverage, teaming with play-by-play announcers Dick Enberg and Gus Johnson. However, this is slightly misleading as Elmore continues to call games for both CBS and ESPN during the college basketball season; in Bilas' case he was loaned to CBS for the tournament only in 2003 and from 2005-2010. Vitale is a voter on the AP Top 25 men's basketball polls, the annual Naismith Award and the John Wooden Award. Vitale called his first NBA game on television since the 1984 NBA playoffs, along with Dan Shulman, on January 7, 2009 when the Miami Heat played the Denver Nuggets as ESPN swapped its NBA and NCAA crews. During ESPN's first incarnation covering the NBA, he regularly covered games. Vitale lent his name and voice to the 1994 Sega Genesis game, Dick Vitale's "Awesome Baby" College Hoops. Vitale and Nessler also provide the commentator voices for EA Sports' NCAA Basketball (formerly NCAA March Madness) video game series. In 2004, Vitale released a descriptive autobiography cowritten with Dick Weiss entitled Living a Dream. The book has several thoughts and comments on his days with the Pistons and ESPN, and memories of former NC State basketball Coach Jim Valvano. In 1988, Vitale had a cameo appearance as a baseball color commentator, sharing the crowded broadcast booth with Curt Gowdy, Jim Palmer, Dick Enberg, Mel Allen, Tim McCarver and Joyce Brothers in The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!.
Vitale currently stars in commercials for DiGiorno pizza and Hooters restaurants. He guest starred on The Cosby Show along with friend Jim Valvano as furniture movers in the eighth season episode The Getaway. Dick Vitale is also the main spokesperson for Airborne Athletics Dr. Dish basketball training machine. So yeah; Kick Buttowski had a lot of ESPN/NBA stars on this show; which is odd considering that basketball isn't usually an extreme sport. If they were from Slamball!; then we would be talking BABEE! This is his only DTVA appearance by the way. He has 5 acting credits and 23 Self credits to his resume. Dick Viktale (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) proclaims Kick the winner as Magnus and Helga run in shocked and appalled. Kick's prize is to come to Old Country and renact the Thor Thorsen deal as Magnus don't care that his son lost the contest to his best friend and cheers. Hee hee. Kick tries to explain that despite being in the video, Gunther deserves the credit. Magnus don't care and holds Kick above his head, like he's about to pound a basketball, with Kick as the ball. I would pay good money to see that, natch. The Battlesnax crowd comes in and cheers for Kick or for his death. It's tough to tell nowadays. Magnus and company run out of the Battlesnax, remembering to crush Gunther's second spleen on the way out. Gunther's selling was much more awful this time. Scene change to Kick's house as Harold is loading up the station wagon with luggage and chairs as Magnus, Helga, Denise, Kick, Brad, and Gunther show up. Gunther seems cool with this at the comment, while Harold's promo cutting sucks. Kick tries to explain that Gunther made the video; but Harold cuts him off with an educational line that would have worked a lot better if it wasn't for the fact that the old country is a BS&P word to protect the fee-fee's of people from that region from the evil stereotypes of those ugly, heinous cartoon animators!Harold has gone postal without killing anyone! Gunther hugs Helga and Magnus as they are not coming along for the ride; and they run into the house and I do not want to know what the hell is going on in that household. Lots of giggling and pipe squeaking, that's all I gathered from that scene. Oh wait; they are bouncing on Gunther's bed, I think. Of course!
So we are already at the Old Country Jrtport, Terminal A building, which the roof is covered in brown hay and it's almost sunset. They head into the airport terminal as the entire Buttowski family and Gunther walk in and everyone outside of the family looks exactly like a stereotypical viking with different colored skin. Even Brianna made the trip as she sees purple clogs on a woman's feet and calls them ugly; and she wants them. Denise blows her off; and Harold approves of it as the males all bail stage right. However; it's all a ruse as Denise and Brianna are giggling because they do want to buy some shoes and screw Harold out of his hard earned money. Denise and Brianna bail to screw Brad's college fund (YAY!) as we head onto the same conveyer belts I saw in Chargeman Ken; only it's the airport and not the sidewalk. Geez; the old country is all old fashioned, except for the floors and window, which look modern. Why? Why not? Brad no sells the post office tour because he's looking for women who will obey him. This is not going to end well for Brad; and I don't think anyone is going to have any sympathy for him when this is over, either. Oh; and no hot babe would ever be at the post office as Harold blows him off and gets all disturbing over a Amelia Earhart postal stamp. Oh sod off, Harold! She's not your type nor does she exist anymore. So Kick tells Gunther that everything is fine; he'll tell the truth about the stunt. Then Dick Viktale and his merry band of vikings run in together; causing Kick and Gunther to attempt to bail stage left. This fails; they grab Kick and Gunther is crushed again as the mob simply runs out of the airport terminal. Gunther is on his belly and gets stepped on by Brad and Harold. Okay; I can understand Brad stepping on him; but Harold? What?! Gunther states that they'll tell him later; when his brain is back in working order, I guess. Apparently; that was his third spleen. So we head to the countryside and see a rock statue of Thor Thorsen next to a gaint volcano as we head to the old country village as the denizens are marching in with a giant float as it looks like a purple volcano. Jump to a giant model airplane statue as some viking tour guide is showing off stuff to Harold and Brad.
Of course, the tour guide is telling Harold that they aren't going to the post office, but Harold thinks that no means yes. So Gunther comes in carrying the springloaded airplane from earlier; which is called Warhammer in red letters. Gunther drops it; and calls it heavy as Kick pops up and hides behind Gunther, because the Dick Vitale mob of vikings is after him. Of course; vikings are dumb and clearly miss him due to Gunther's huge mass of blob. Kick proclaims that they need to clear this up because Gunther made the film. I'm not saying that he's wrong; that part is true. But it doesn't matter because Kick performed the stunt unintentionally. So even if Kick is correct about it being Gunther's idea and I think it's noble to give the props to Gunther for coming up with the idea and the building to it; but they only care about the performer here. And the vikings find him anyway, putting an axe and viking helmet on Kick. Dick Vitale has the same problem the PTI police guys had in Trash Talk: They aren't actors. They are sport broadcasters and they always work on the fly; and that's how you get memorable moments. However; when they are reading off a script written by someone else; they sound awful. In Dick Vitale's case, there is no energy behind his character and his best trait is his quick rapid energy promos. I got nothing of the sort here. He reads his lines; and has no energy behind them. Kick tries to talk; but they scream and bail. The ADR loop has more energy than Dick Vitale here. Gunther gets his fourth spleen crushed by the way; but Gunther gets up and is flustered as he carries the Warhammer plane and storms off with it. The tour is over and in comes Brad and Harold as Harold is the only one so far who is enjoying this vacation. Brad looks bored out of his skull, but then he sees a black haired woman wearing a purple dress with coned shaped bronze breasts on it. She's also wearing a bronze neck cover on her neck and shoulder pads. Brad goes giddy seconds after that, when he was protesting this tour. There is a red haired woman wearing a viking helmet and armor. Neither of them are selling for Brad; who is wooing them. I thought Brad liked Canadian babes, due to his Tikini Lumberjacks obsession?
Brad's promo is hilarious: "You hit me harder than the Black Plague!" Hey; he's a heel brother, this works with his character. So he invokes the LEGAL HAND OF GOD as I see that Kick Buttowski is like Johnny Test, only they know not to overuse the whip crack sound. Oh lord; that sound effect. In Kick Buttowski; they use it pretty much once every five to six minutes. In Johnny Test; it happens once every three seconds. No joke! Anytime they move their arms; they use the sound. It's overbearing and it distrupts the flow of the episode. It's clearly done because the writers have zero confidence in getting the characters over, so they overuse sound effects in order to try to prevent the children from changing the damn channel. It obviously works; because Johnny Test continues to have awesome ratings, even though they have stopped releasing new episodes. I mean, it explains why Gunther likes shiny things and is distracted by them. By the way; the spot was done on a blond haired woman viking, who has a spiked mace on her person. I betcha she murders him with it and storms off. I check the video...Damn it; she merely threaten him with it and walks off. I would have maced him and take my chances in a court of law. Brad proclaims that he sucks at wooing women as we HIT THE FLASHBACK MONTAGE of Brad getting destroyed by a kangeroo with the POWER OF THE PUNCH. HAHA! We return to reality (no, not really) as Harold also has stretching arm powers and puts his hand on Brad's right shoulder, telling him to cheer up. He wants to do another renactment tour; but Brad no sells the deal and then we get a pan up shot of a blond haired woman with a sword and red colored armored. Even Harold is threatening to whistle on cue as Brad is so close that I'm waiting with baited breath for her to kill him for real. I know it isn't going to happen; but after seeing Jackie nearly kill Cousin Kyle with sledgehammers and them killed each other in a dream sequence by crashing their planes into each other; I put nothing past this show anymore. Harold notices a viking post officer delivering mail and showing off mail that sparkles; causing Harold to go giddy. HAHA! The officer walks off stage left as Brad talks to the viking woman with the sword; who is doing the Miss Bellum gimmick from Powerpuff Girls in that she's much taller than the screen and we cannot see her face.
The woman slams her hand into Brad's face; as I believe that she is going to kill him; but the tour guide breaks it up because you cannot destroy tourists. Brad asks the tour guide about viking women turning him down and he says, "yes and they should". However; if Brad gives them gifts of the old country, they might reconsider. They make jokes about removing downeries; don't ask me why. I don't understand old country humor; so I didn't laugh at this. I treated it as a storyline as we flashback to a viking giving farm animals to a woman in exchange for marriage. Because apparently; just loving each other unconditionally is not enough in the old country. Ooooookkkkaaaayyyy. Brad gets evil and rubs his hands with glee as somehow the woman kangeroo comes out of nowhere and invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH on Brad and Brad goes flying, after Brad tries to woo her. Good; I don't care if it breaks logic, that punch was awesome. Scene change to a shot of the purple lettered banner on poles reading the 1000th Annual Thor Thorson Festival. So the incident took place in 1012 AD. Okay; good to know. By the way; annual is not stupid, it's redundant. So yes; there is a cul-de-sac with Battlesnax motif buildings as we zoom in with Gunther bringing in Warhammer and there is a PA tower to the right red colored with a viking helmet on top of it. Dick Viktale addresses the crowd as Gunther is turning the wheel and spring loading Warhammer with Kick in the springloaded plane. Gunther looks more frustrated by the second. As expected, the giant float is a purple colored volcano with steam coming out of it; and Kick is going to do the actual stunt with it. In comes the mob with Kick holding an axe and has a viking helmet on as he is plopped in front of the spring plane. Kick wants to set the record straight right now; but Gunther no sells because they want to see the guy in the video, not him. Kick isn't having any of that as he puts the axe and helmet on Gunther because this is Gunther's prize, not Kick. Listen, I agree with a lot of what Kick's says; but he's screwed and I shudder to think what the vikings will do if Kick doesn't do the stunt. Gunther gets onto the springloaded plane as Kick tries to aim the damn thing; but the axe slips out of Gunther's hands and slices the rope. Warhammer goes flying, Gunther screams, crumbles the arm of the statue near the volcano and flies around. Jump cut to the tour guide and Harold on the street as Harold is annoying him.
Harold is reading a Norweigan book as the tour guide informs him that they speak English only as Warhammer races in and bonks into Harold and the tour guide, then splats Brad, then goes into the conveniently placed old country zoo (with modern barriers) and out comes an animal rich stampede; which Brad jumps onto and is spirited away stage left. HAHA! Then out comes Denise and Brianna from the Gift Shop; which is called Pineapple Dictatorship~! I'm shocked that there is no band by that name yet. I guess it's not marketable, yet. They have purple tights, shades and weapons in a backpack; as Gunther spirits those things away. Wait; I thought Brianna was buying purple clogs? Someone was not paying attention here; considering that Gunther also wears wooden shoes. So the Warhammer flies back and nearly kills everybody, destroys the purple volcano, and destroys Dick Vitale's PA booth, causing a volcanic explosion off-screen in the middle of the village before we return as the cul-de-sac is a complete and utter mess. Oh; by the way, Denise and Brianna shrugged their shoulder and decided to spend more of Harold's money, just to spite him; I guess. Gunther is underneath the carnage as Dick Viktale is upset and selling it in the most contrived way possible; as one of vikings blames Gunther for it, who has run out of spleens in this entire thing. Sadly; it is all Gunther's fault since he let the axe slip through his hands, although Kick is not blameless since he wanted Gunther to get his big moment in the sun, which he believed Gunther deserved. Kick tells Gunther to stay put; Gunther is no selling. Oh; I should note that Papercut Peterson is not the only one who calls Gunther a little girl.Gunther wants to just face the music; because he would rather die as he rises from the volcano; which surprisely suffered little damage from this stunt, and appears with his axe. The mob instantly stops on cue because Gunther looks exactly like Thor Thorsen. Riiiggggghhhhttttt. Too goofy for my tastes. So we are doing a cross between a Bad Reflection On You and Citizen Khan now. All right. Dick Viktale is shocked in the most contrived way possible, because Dick cannot act out of a wet paperbag. Everyone pops for the moment as they show a reasonable comparsion of Gunther and Thor. Gunther waves it off because he's not him, but Kick cuts him off and claims that he is. Gunther is protesting this outrage; but Kick tells him to play it cool. After all; they wanted to kill him seconds ago.
I don't blame Kick for this as he pushes Gunther into the arms of the mob; who treat him like he just won the Wrestlemania main event. Dick Viktale is perched on a viking arm pedestal as they will praise him as the greatest viking of all time and this leads to the spinning newspaper of doom (ala TaleSpin by the way) as Thor Thorsen Returns, who looks way too similar to Gunther Magnumson. Oh wait...We hit the montage of Gunther being famous; which includes a Viking Walk Of Fame as he puts his hands and ass into the concrete. He special guest stars in the television cooking series: "Cooking With Thor" and even does a ribbon cutting ceremony for the Old Country Supermarket and Old Country Ribbon Store and Old Country Bombs which ends with Gunther cutting the wire of a giant bomb which looks Rube-Goldbergish by the way. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as we head to Brad giving the farm animals to a certain viking and he gets back change in exchange for the blond woman Miss Bellum viking and the woman sighs and follows Brad. Yes folks; Brad is involved in a forced marriage. I would be angry about this; but Brad is supposed to be a heel, so this kind of scumbaggery isn't surprising, even if it is appalling. Scene change to a giant castle and head into Gunther's new room as Kick is sitting on a chair while Gunther is being measured by a giant viking to trim Gunther's new purple robe. Jump cut to Kick sitting on a stone tub as Gunther is taking a bubble bath. Kick and Gunther enjoy a meal and then go outside as the mob runs in; grabs Gunther and slams the door behind Kick, leaving him hanging. The guise of this is that Gunther has done it; and he's never coming home because he is now Thor Thorsen and he's their new ruler. That ends the segment ten and a half minutes in. This has been a good episode thus far; but I'm sorry, it's impossible to cheer this when Last Fan Standing was so great that it makes everything on this show look fourth rate. I'm just saying.
After the commercial break; we head back to Magnus' residence and head to Gunther's room as Magnus and Helga are still jumping on the bed after all this. The guise of this is: Gunther is calling his parents on the answering machine to inform them he's not coming home and staying in the old country. So we jump cut back to the castle and then pan over west to the volcano as the right arm of Thor Thorsen's statue also cracks and then we scene change to in front of the Battlesnax huts where Harold is talking to Kick who is staring directly at the hard camera. Harold proclaims that he knows how to cheer him up...a tour of the post office, which is the building they are in front of. Kick's frowning face is a 0.2 Rock Lobster Yeti Frowny Face by the way. The post office is closed and Harold plasters his face into the window as in the foreground, we see Brad holding hands and walking his bride blond haired viking woman down the sidewalk in wedding clothes. Yeah Brad; nope still sexist as usual! Brad turns around and asks Harold about being married; and Harold says yes, calling him Jason. Yip; Harold has a concussion from Warhammer earlier, because he is pleading for the post office to open. Yeah, Brad! So we jump cut to the store with Brianna and Denise coming out with shopping bags and is shocked and appalled as Brad and the viking woman are getting married with a viking version of the Justice Of The Peace. Brianna calls for Denise; but Denise don't care because the old country is like Las Vegas. Of course! Jump cut back to Harold with his face plastered on the window of the post office as Kick still stares into the hard camera. Kick is shocked now because here comes Gunther on his royal chair carried by the Dick Viktale mob, with Dick doing play by play. Harold takes a photograph of the scene for fun as Kick runs after him just as Denise comes out to inform him that their flight leaves in three hours. Denise hopes he doesn't get wrapped up in something stupid; and then notices Brad with his married woman having a great time as Kick jumps onto the throne causing Gunther to sit on top of the throne. Gunther proclaims that he has officially changed his name to Thor Thorsen just like that. So we exchange notes and some of the vikings have old country selfies for fun. Gunther has the worst sagging man boobs ever as Kick informs him that the plane is leaving in three hours, Gunther don't care because postcards~! Harold would be proud of Gunther for that one; I bet.
So Kick makes the fatal mistake of claiming that Gunther is his wingman only and Gunther takes complete offense to that, even though it's perfectly true. Gunther calls Kick jealous and unlike Baloo calling Kit jealous, Kick is in fact jealous of all this because he's nothing without Gunther and is using Gunther. Kick is offended by this as this leads to a really funny moment: In the middle of this arguement; the vikings get behind Gunther, Kick grabs the camera and takes their picture. HAHA! And then we continue the arguement as Kick is pissed now as he accuses Gunther of stealing his heat as Gunther accuses him of stealing his heat, and then we take another picture. HAHA! Gunther rightfully points out that his failure lead him to be king of the old country and Kick's failure leads him to be a Suburban Daredevil. BUUUURRRRRRNNNNN BABEE BURN~! YEAH, THOR~! Gunther turns his back literally and does the Gruffi pose; even telling Kick that. Kick tries, gets cut off and Kick basically goes "Oh f*ck it!" and jumps off. Kick asks if this day can get any worse and we see Brad and his trophy wife on horse and buggy riding on the street. Brad is having the time of his life and the bride is wishing she was in a new country where she would have actual agency. Brad is loving it as the kangeroo teleports out of nowhere; invokes the POWER OF THE PUNCH on Brad; and this one somehow doesn't send Brad flying. Brad is concussed and bruised and then the kangeroo kisses him and bails stage right. Uh-oh! We have a love triangle now; and neither one likes Brad and the kangeroo is the one with agency in this country. Kick gets swamped with mud, and no one cares. Then the kangeroo shows up, and offers to give Kick a ride in her pouch and Kick hops into her pouch. The kangeroo bounces stage right as we pan north to the volcano as we hear more cracking and both axe arm stones drop into the volcano and the axe blade cracks through the ground inside the volcano, causing the volcano to become active again with hellfire and brimstone. So the carryway brings Gunther into the castle as the tour guide and Dick Viktale turn around and notice that Mount Eruptis is active again. Everyone panics; but Dick proclaims that there is only one person who can save them from doom. Geez; I wonder who it might be? Oh yeah; Thor Thorsen on his throne chair also formally known as Gunther. So yes; we are replaying Bearskin Thug from Darkwing Duck now.
Oh; go ahead, this series is over in less than six minutes now as Gunther foolishly accepts the stupid challenge because it will be epic BABEE! Dick's acting still sucks by the way. Oh; and they are all going to Foreshadow Park and he knew they were going there. Har har. So we head back to the airport called OCAX of course and head to the convyer belt with Harold, Denise, Brad, Brianna and Brad's trophy wife in Brad's arms as they are loving the shoes, post office visits and beloved who doesn't love back. Pan over to Kick looking defeated and glum. Kick is moping about losing Gunther (like I really care now) as Kick turns to his left and there is an old country reporter in purple standing in front of the castle on a television and to the left of the television in the far background, there is Mount Eruptis erupting. Kick had ask if this is the end and the reporter is saying the same thing. So basically; the reporter informs us that Gunther is going to commit suicide by volcano to save the old country from a lava dome doom as the old country mob brings out Gunther and his throne along with Gunther's warhammer springloaded plane. Kick panics and tries to bail stage right; but the conveyer belt is going into the opposite direction, so Kick is getting nowhere, just like this show has been since it began. Jump cut to the village as Dick Viktale is leading the charge with the vikings holding Gunther's throne. Gunther don't care because this is for the future of the old country, you see. Gunther asks about this thing and one of the vikings points to the volcano, as Gunther asks if it's a BBQ. Yes folks; that ordeal has scrambled Gunther's brains. Dick claims that it's true, sort of; as Gunther don't mind as long as there is no potato salad involved. Don't worry; there isn't Gunther. Just one charboiled Thor. So Kick gets out and notices Gunther heading to Foreshadow Park, so we get a sequence of Kick putting a wooden nickel into a slot and bringing out a luggage bag cart which causes the luggage to dump. Because you see, you cannot have a Kick Buttowski show without a successful stunt, since the last two stunts in this episode were epic fails! So we head to the cul-de-sac at the spingloaded statue airplane as Kick comes towards them. Oh wait; we have to cut back to Brad with the married woman proclaiming his love for him as the viking woman at the Customs counter proclaims that she is fifty dollars extra.
Brad is pissed off by this; accuses the woman of marrying him for the money, calls it a dealbreaker and divorces her on the spot. The woman sighs; but otherwise leaves, not caring. That was the payoff folks; and Brad is still a sexist moron who's cheap. Sometimes, Harold's scrooging does pay off. Then Brad slowly is alone and cries like a baby before walking off stage left. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So we head inside the plane at the seats with Denise, Harold, Brianna and Brad. I assume Brad is sitting with Brianna as Harold is admiring the pictures of multiple stamps; because he's a loser with no life. Oh wait; here comes Brad crying his eyes out and shaking like a leaf; just to overkill this. Even Harold telling him to sod off; so you know this is overkill. Brad smacks his family on the head and he also smacks a red haired small male with glasses and a bag of potatoes, assuming it's Kick and Gunther. Brad goes into melodramatics asking if he will ever find true love. Then; you'll never guess who's sitting next to him...wait for it...the kangeroo. Brad greets her and she knocks his lights out again. Jesus Brad; you are an asshole if you get knocked out just for greeting someone. Brad loses teeth on that one as he thinks he's in love. He better be in love with a dentist and a doctor because he needs one right about now. Cut back to Kick on the luggage cart riding around town as we zoom in and head to the statue airplane in the cul-de-sac as Gunther is in the pilot's seat of said plane. Gunther loves the view and I just realized that the cul-de-sac is called Foreshadow Park. Ooookkkkkaaayyyy. Dick Viktale decides to awkwardly address the crowd as he is put on a pedestal and reads from a scroll. I just love how Gunther is such a dummy in falling for this obvious trap; and it wasn't until Dick points out the plan for all to see. Gunther is an idiot and Gunther then recoils and realizes that he was had. See what happens when you accuse others of being jealous to the core? Dick Viktale then salutes him and says "nice knowing ya"; and then Gunther screams loudly. Suddenly; Kick flies in, jumps off the cart and lands on the airplane in front of the Gunther, protesting this outrage. Gunther cannot believe Kick would come back after all this, as Kick confesses that if he didn't lie to them, none of this would happen. Gunther doesn't care either way and wants to be launched anyway; but Kick says no and Gunther takes off his helmet to reveal that he's not Thor.
Everyone is shocked and appalled by this as Dick Viktale looks like his heart and world has been shattered. Now; if anyone has watched enough cartoons, you know where this is going: The vikings are going to launch Kick and Gunther into the volcano and kill them for lying to them, because vikings are violent, toxic manly men and it's their gimmick to be as such. Yes folks; there is a viking version of Papercut Peterson wearing black hair, because Gunther is called a little girl. You know what; if these writers had any clue, the finish to get out of this would be for Gunther to do his rap on the vikings from Garage Banned and put this sexist viking in his place, and thus no one would mess with Gunther and the viking would bail, and that is that. However; that would mean the volcano would destroy the old country, and we cannot have that, despite the vikings proving that they have earned it's wrath, so Kick goes into a really stupid speech, basically admitting that Gunther is a lying bastard who just happens to be Kick's best friend. Gunther, despite 90% of that speech being insulted, accepts Kick as his friend anyway because status quo is god, and this series is ending anyway for me, so who cares? Besides Mr. Enter...Yeah; I didn't think so. Lots of man crying ensues as they embrace each other. Gunther agrees to come home and drops the axe...AGAIN! It hits the springloaded mechanism and the airplane flies into the air, which somehow causes the glass dome to close. Why? Why not? The kids scream and they bonk into the statue, the statue drops into the volcano hole and plugs it up, causing the whole volcano to become dead again. Just like that! The vikings cheer like complete fools because a chipmunk chirping is so much more interesting than this. So the vikings decide to bail for Ligonberry ice cream and that is that. Bwar indeed! So we head back inside the airplane as Kick is hanging on and Gunther is screaming. I betcha I know how this stunt ends: They crash into Magnus' residence, right in front of the room where Magnus and Helga were jumping on the bed. That's the only finish to this stunt that makes any sense whatsoever. So yeah; the wooden airplane flies next to the airplane where the family is and they are gleeful to see it and then are concerned when they discover that it's Kick and Gunther. Why? Why not? Then the airplane runs out of springloaded power and goes into a tailspin (BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!).
It bursts into flames (I almost said planes for a second there) as we cut to inside with Kick panicky as Gunther tells Kick to take the control; because you see, the plane wasn't designed to land, it was designed to crash into a volcano. Kick takes the control and proclaims that he cannot do this on his own and needs help. Gunther agrees because he's the wingman of this operation as we do martial art zoom ins on both of them and we head towards Mellowbrook. The plane is smoking a lot as it spins, barrel rolls due to Gunther taking the tailsection of the plane and controlling it and it crashes right into the middle of the cul-de-sac. Dammit! So close, and yet so far. Kick and Gunther climb out of the carnage proclaiming that they did it and chant We. This leads Magnus and Helga to come out, bring out their axes and scream with jackhammer background. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Because you see, they think the French are invading Mellowbrook. Double screen panic and Kick and Gunther run stage left as Magnus and Helga chase them as we fade to black. So we return to the old country as a helicopter is putting a new statue on the volcano (because vikings are dumb you see) as the old country reporter reports on the scene. The cover is unveiled to be Gunther in a viking helmet and the name is Girl Girlson. Cut to the living room as Gunther is on the sofa watching television blinking his eyes and in shock. Gunther then says that he's fine with it; turns off the television and that ends the episode and the series for me at 20:00 approx. Thank goodness this series is over, because this felt really anticlimax after Last Fan Standing. This was really good though, in spite of the arguement scene; mostly because of Brad once again stealing the show. I did love the ending though; so call this *** 3/4 (75%).
THE REVIEW LINE
Well; after Last Fan Standing, this felt like a useless episode to me. It wasn't awful; in fact it was good, albeit a bit toxic with the Brad/forced marriage angle. It was pretty funny; especially at the end with Gunther and Kick being chased by Magnus and Helga, along with the airplane references and volcano spots. The kangeroo is also awesome, but overall; it felt anticlimax and the writers put too much care into the whole Gunther/Kick relationship that I didn't care and it came out as going through the motions at best. Dick Vitale cannot act to save his life; because he's an ad-libber as I mentioned before and every line he spoke was awkward and contrived. This would have been much funnier with an actor. He wasn't annoying; he was just boring. Overall; this was a fine episode that would have been better if I didn't review it last, so I gave a generous rating for this and it probably deserved it in hindsight. Also; no more vikings jumping on the bed! Not because it's unfunny, it's because it makes them look weak. Just saying.
So that ends Kick Buttowski: The Suburban Daredevil for real, BABEE! The final tally is: 19 thumbs up, 47 thumbs in the middle and 36 thumbs down after 102 episodes aired. I must say this about the show: If you take away the first ten straight episodes; this is a good show. I believe that the reason why everyone wrote this off was because the first ten episodes tried way too hard to apease the kids without realizing that stereotyping kids is like punching down and it only pisses off the adults who expect good stories and likable characters. When Jackie Whackerman and Cousin Kyle came in and saved the show; it got better and even Brianna was great when she wasn't made to look bad in order to make Kick likable. Gift of Whacky is one of the few exceptions where Kick was at his best and what could have been had the writers had a clue. Brad got a lot better in Season two with his overselling of pain and suffering and the last episode of the series is one of the best finales ever, while showing that the writers and producers by that time knew the series was ending and gave absolutely zero f*cks about it, making the whole thing glorious. So in the end, Kick won out; despite taking a beating in the beginning of the first season. So next up is a break to finishing the Holidays arc of The Adventures Of Teddy Ruxpin and then I'm working on Phineas & Ferb and Gravity Falls to end 2017. Yeah, Greg~!
Oh; and this is how Bwar & Peace should have ended: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qjwf_0Vg03c&t=8s . So...
Thumbs in the middle, pointing up for this episode and I'll see you next time.