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Phineas & Ferb: It's A Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World/The Ballard Of Badbeard

Reviewed: 01/07/2014

More Like The Ballard of Muddy Worlds That Badbeard Plundered Methinks!


Contiuing our next two episodes (and the halfway point of the first DVD set); we are now doing episode 18 (13a) and episode 24 (13b) on the animation paper. Phineas & Ferb are going to help Candace learn how to parrel park. UH OH! Didn't anyone realize what happened to Rebecca's car at the beginning of A Spy In The Ointment? Also Doofenshmirtz is making monster trucks and plans to squash the competition like a corporate heel would. Then Phineas & Ferb and his friends search for the treasure of the legendary Badbeard as Candace thinks she sees Perry as a secret agent while Doofenshmirtz is moving to a new lair on Spleen Island . So; let's rant on shall we...?!

It's A Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World is written by Bobby Gaylor, Martin Olson, Mike Diederich, Robert F. Hughes, Zac Moncrief and Mike Roth. Robert began as a writer for The Critic and from there did the following: Rocko's Modern Life, Duckman, Catdog, Spongebob SquarePants, Angry Beavers, The Wild Thornberrys (Including The Origin Of Donnie), Family Guy, Rocket Power, As Told By Ginger, Catscratch, Ben 10, Evil Con Carne, Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, 10,000 BC, and The Fantastic Voyages of Sinbad The Sailor. Recess: School's Out is his DTVA debut and Phineas & Ferb is his most recent credit. That's it. Zac according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): He then gained an internship on an animated feature, The Pagemaster, and moved on as an assistant animator on the film Cats Don't Dance. While there, he sold a pilot to Fred Seibert (then president of MTV Networks and Hanna-Barbera), for the What-A-Cartoon! series titled "Godfrey and Zeek". This transitioned into doing story work for Hanna-Barbera's other series, Johnny Bravo. Moncrief went on to open his own company, creating animation on several CD-ROMs, as well as a commercial work featuring Warner Bros.' "The Road-Runner", The Carl's Jr. spot featuring Dennis Rodman as well as Animation for a GM sponsored ride at Walt Disney World. Soon after, Mr. Seibert came calling again with a new series on Nickelodeon called Oh Yeah! Cartoons. There, Moncrief created the shorts Kitty the Hapless Cat, Baxter and Bananas, and also worked on other shorts such as The Fairly OddParents and the Emmy winning short "Max and His Special Problem". Shortly thereafter, he was asked to teach at his alma mater (CalArts) and by Walt Disney Television Animation to storyboard on Teacher's Pet, the series (and its theatrical release) as well as the series "Direct to Videos" for Lilo & Stitch, Kim Possible and the network's latest hit Brandy and Mr. Whiskers.

Next, it was off to help bring back a series that has continued to be one of the strongest animated sitcom's in television history, Family Guy. The show's DVD sales had done so incredibly well that 20th Century Fox Television decided to bring the series back for season 4. Zac started as an Assistant Director and quickly moved into a Director role working on some of Seth MacFarlane's favorite episodes. (See "The Griffin Family History" or "Barely Legal") He then followed Dan Povenmire back to Disney again to help Direct over 50+ episodes of the HIT Disney Television series, Phineas and Ferb. His job titles allowed him to be involved in every aspect from breaking stories to writing, from storyboarding to design and color, from editing to calling retakes,. He was even involved in writing a few of the wonderful tunes created for this ground breaking show. Currently he is the Supervising Director on Comedy Central's hit show Brickleberry while also helping to develop shows at Nickelodeon. He began his career doing visual stuff for The Pagemaster in 1994. Kim Possible is his DTVA debut and he did work for Lilo & Stitch The Series, Teacher's Pet (movie only), and Brandy & Mr. Whiskers. Lalaloopsy is his most recent credit. He has 18 storyboard credits, six direction credits, four writing credits, and four animation department credits to his resume. The Ballard Of Badbeard is written by Jon Barry, Bobby Gaylor, Martin Olson, Mike Diederich, Robert F. Hughes, Zac Moncrief . Story editing for both episode are done by Martin Olson. Animation is done by Wang Films.


It's A Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World: We begin this one with the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM and then into the backyard as Phineas & Ferb are playing remote control cars on a painted racetrack complete with a start/finish line flag. Linda is outside the door asking what they are doing and Phineas claims that they are racing monster trucks; which we cannot see and which Linda points out. Phineas claims that they are going at the speed of light because they rigged them to be less boring. Knowing Phineas; this is probably accurate. Linda nicely laughs it off claiming that their hyper imagination must come from Lawerence; and then we segueway to Lawerence in the living room doing paint-by-the-numbers painting. Okay; that was funny. Green is #5 by the way; which is good to know when doing these things. So we go back outside and hear some more horns honking (which I didn't hear for some reason) as Linda goes back inside because Charlene is having a cooking class that she is attending as she waves bye bye to the kids and closes the door. So it's the final lap as the purple waves come into view and out comes the monster trucks which do the flaming rubber tires tracks spot (which at least makes sense here) and it's another photo finish; which Phineas groans because he never gets a chance to see who is ahead. It was a draw. BOO HISS! Ferb's monster truck is clearly the better looking one here. So we head to Candace's pinkified bedroom as Candace is sulking on the bed and her surprisely 1990's green telephone rings. She is in dispair as she answers said phone and then we see an Asian American female with black hair, green shirt and green ponytail ribbon on her cellphone demanding answers to why "Despair" refuses to answer the phone. Ummm; she just did you idiot! So Candace claims that she would be with her friend; but the dreaded "PARALLEL PARKING OF SUFFERING" is denying her.

I discover that she is talking to Stacey and Stacey is voiced by Kelly Hu and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): Hu modeled in Japan and Italy, and became well known in the latter as the star of a series of television advertisements for Philadelphia brand cream cheese, playing a young Japanese college student named Kaori. Hu won the title of Miss Hawaii USA in 1993, becoming the first former Miss Teen USA to win a Miss USA state title. In the 1993 Miss USA pageant, held in Wichita, Kansas, Hu entered the top 10 in second place, after winning the preliminary interview competition and placing second and third, respectively, in swimsuit and evening gown. She then made the top 6 ranked second, winning the top 10 evening gown competition and placing second in swimsuit. She was eliminated in 4th place after the judges' questions, just 2/100 of a point from the final three. Hu moved to Los Angeles and began her acting career in 1987, with a guest starring role as Mike Seaver's Hawaiian love interest on the sitcom Growing Pains. Hu followed this with appearances on various television series, including Night Court," Tour of Duty, 21 Jump Street and Melrose Place. Her first movie role was in Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan. In 1995, Hu starred as an undercover police officer in the film No Way Back. Hu was cast as Dr. Rae Chang on Sunset Beach for six months in 1997. Afterwards, she was cast as police officers Michelle Chan in the television series Nash Bridges (1997–1998), and Pei Pei "Grace" Chen on Martial Law (1998–2000). Her subsequent movie appearances include The Scorpion King (2002), Cradle 2 the Grave (2003), and X2 (2003) as Yuriko Oyama / Deathstrike. She was Agent Mia Chen on the last three episodes of the television series Threat Matrix (2004).

She also starred in 2005 Underclassman alongside Nick Cannon and in 2006 Americanese, Undoing and Devil's Den. During the first quarter of 2007, she completed filming the film Stilletto, and after that, Farmhouse. In January 2007, Hu began appearing in a full-time role on the television series In Case of Emergency. She played Kelly Lee, a Korean American woman who accidentally reunites with her high school classmates and realizes none of them grew up according to their high school plans. The show did not have a successful run, being cancelled after airing 12 episodes and leaving its season finale un-aired. the same years she appeared in films The Air I Breathe and Shanghai Kiss. In the fall of 2009, she appeared in the film The Tournament as Lai-Lai Zhen. In April 2009, Hu developed the character JIA for Secret Identities: The Asian American Superhero Anthology. She was the first guest actor to cross over between the television series NCIS: Los Angeles and NCIS, playing Lee Wuan Kai in a two-episode arc within both series. In spring of 2010, Kelly Hu played Pearl, a vampire, on the CW television series Vampire Diaries.[4] In fall of 2010, Hu began a recurring role on the CBS television series Hawaii Five-0. In 2012, Hu was cast in the role of Karai in the animated series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012). She commented: "It wouldn’t quite be the first time I played a ninja, I think. Yeah, I don’t know why people think I’m dangerous, but for some reason, I keep getting these roles for the ninja, assassin, bodyguard, bad-girl type."[5] In 2013, she joined the cast of the film SyFy Network series Warehouse 13 as Abigail Cho, the new owner of the Warehouse-connected B&B. She provided voice talents for the popular video game Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II The Sith Lords as Visas Marr, the Sith woman who joins the Jedi Exile's party. Hu has been featured twice in Maxim magazine (May 2002 and May 2005).

She began her career as Melia in Growing Pains in 1987 and then was Kista in Night Court in 1988. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Deathvalley (Greenstreet) and The Hundred (Cece) is her most recent credits. She has 95 acting credits and 39 Self credits to her resume. See; Lawerence is teaching her how to drive as we head inside a car with Lawerence in the front passenger seat wearing a white shirt with a shield symbol of green with purple trim. I'm going to guess that Lawerence is a teacher for self-defense driving courses. Speaking of this; we see that all Candace has to do is park between two Gedo fashion sense trashcans which are at least 100 feet apart. Candace tries to put it in reverse; but the car MURDERS the trashcan. Memo to Lawerence: Candace is not a bad driver; the car hates banana yellow stuff. Just so you would like to know. Candace cannot be this stupid to not know how to parallel park within 100 FEET! Can't she?! And while this is going on; Candace is screaming and wearing a red/white candy cane helmet; which makes the scene even more sadder than it already is. Lawerence just no sells everything and we head back to reality (no, not really) as Candace is screaming in the phone. Damn writers; stop making her sound like a dumb female! Then Candace cries like a baby claiming that she'll never get her driver's license because her parallel parking needs a bit more work. Actually; Candace needs to work on her "don't panic" skills a lot more than her parallel parking. We see Phineas & Ferb have somehow teleported to the hallway and are sitting down as Phineas swears in DUBBED ANIME STYLE (Oh my gosh!) as he cannot believe it. Phineas then rubs the carpet and claims that he never felt the carpets and how soft they were. HAHA! Phineas then claims that there are more important things like getting Candace her confidence back and they leads to a segueway inside the garage as Phineas has blueprints for a monster truck called The Candace Crusher~! HAHA!

Phineas then asks where Perry is and we see Perry in the living room pushing on a camel lamp (the head part of course) which opens the hide a bed and Perry lies in it. The bed folds up and then we basically do the same spot Detective Thursday did in Vowel Play in TaleSpin. Only the slide is completely slower than me. So Perry plops onto the seat in OWCA headquarters as Major Monogram is making really bad jokes about Doofenshmirtz as he calls him The Doof. Memo to Monogram: When you have to laugh at your own jokes; it's not funny. Oh wait... Also we finally hear Karl/Carl for the first time as Monogram is happy to have a cool name; and then blows Karl off because his name is not cool. I don't think Monogram is cool either Major! Karl sounds like a nerdy teenager which makes the whole thing even worse for him in hindsight. Karl is voiced by Tyler Mann and he has only three acting credits: His debut was Weeds (Gabe) in 2010; then Modern Family (Nerd). Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. He was on Dancing With The Stars, Piper's Picks TV and Nick Cannon Presents: Wild'N Out. That's it. So Monogram tells Agent P to stop Doof and then laughs at the unfunny joke as Perry is not amused at all because he still hasn't explained what Doofen is up to; thus for the second time in five episodes; Perry is going after Doof for no reason at all. So we head back to the backyard as Phineas is wearing a black vest over his shirt, blue shorts, black boots and has a construction helmet as some fat man with a white shirt and blue trim wearing shades is driving in a truck of gray dirt. Then we get a sequence of male drivers driving trucks following the dude as we bring in dirt, stands, water and a large model of a baby's head which Phineas replies "Anywhere is good." I don't get that joke. So then we HIT THE MONTAGE~! Ferb is assembling the monster truck while Phineas is assembling the monster truck arena. So we cut to Lawerence painting the Queen of England in front of Buckingham Palace.

Lawerence kisses her and gets pink paint all over his mouth and then puts it next to all the paintings of various figures that Lawerence has kissed. Lawerence needs to get in bed with Linda now as we hear monster truck noises. Lawerence goes to the window and opens it to reveal that Phineas & Ferb are driving a monster truck. I know a lot of people are upset that two ten year old kids are driving something unsupervised; but is this any different than Kit Cloudkicker trying to fly the SeaDuck in several episodes; or the steamroller in Pizza Pie In The Sky? Kids doing adult things unsupervised in a DTVA show is not unusual. Phineas explains calmly that they are doing this to help Candace with her parallel park and Lawerence decides to call Linda for approval. So Lawerence is on the cellphone as we head into a chef's kitchen which has cheese colored countertops. We see Linda with her hairneat on, chef's hat and white apron with a pink sash, answering the phone. She tells Lawerence that he's as bad as Candace and hangs up. Lawerence tells the boys that he's all right with it and I hope he at least supervises the event. He probably won't. I should point out that Phineas does point out that he has the queen on his face despite not even seeing the painting since they were shown facing Lawerence and not the window! Logic break #1 for the episode. Okay; so we see Linda is cooking with a female with black hair, green earrings, chef's hat and apron and a green shirt. I'm guessing that this is Charlene and oh man; have I got a story for you on her. Okay; maybe not. Charlene is voiced by Allison Janney and according to IMDB: Allison Janney is an award-winning actress who has earned a solid reputation in stage productions and in many supporting roles on screen, and who more recently has become prominent by portraying one of the major characters in the popular TV series The West Wing (1999). Entertainment Weekly magazine describes Janney's screen presence as "uncommonly beautiful and infinitely expressive".

As an actor, the magazine deems her to be "one to watch". While studying at Kenyon College, Janney answered a casting call for an on-campus play that was to be directed by Kenyon's most famous alumnus, the legendary actor Paul Newman. During her audition/interview, Janney played upon Newman's known passion for race car driving - she explained how she cut thirty minutes off of the 130 mile journey from her home town to the college. She got chosen for the play's cast. After earning her degree in drama, Janney took Joanne Woodward's suggestion to do further study at New York's Neighborhood Playhouse. She also studied at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. Early in her career Janney got comedic roles in the soap operas As the World Turns (1956) and Guiding Light (1952). Later, she gave memorable movie performances in supporting roles in Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999), 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), American Beauty (1999) and Nurse Betty (2000), and in the made-for-TV movie ...First Do No Harm (1997), among others. Among her stage work, Janney has played in a revival of Arthur Miller's "A View From the Bridge" on Broadway opposite Anthony LaPaglia, which earned her a Tony Award nomination, and a Drama League Award for outstanding artist for the 1997-98 season. She played in Noel Coward's "Present Laughter" opposite Frank Langella, which earned her the Outer Critics Circle Award and an Actors' Equity award. Janney also appeared in the New York Shakespeare Festival's production of "The Taming of the Shrew". In 1999 Janney became part of the original cast of the acclaimed TV series The West Wing (1999) where she played the President's press secretary who eventually gets promoted to the White House Chief of Staff. Her impressive work during the seven seasons of that renowned series earned her four Emmys and two SAG Awards.

With her reputation becoming more broadly established during her work on "The West Wing" Janney won more substantive roles in feature films, in the acclaimed The Hours (2002) where she was Meryl Streep's lesbian lover, and in How to Deal (2003) where she played Mandy Moore's mother. She began her career on Who Shot Patakango? as Miss Penny in 1989. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and only appearance. Mom as Bonnie, Break A Hip as Niblett and Days & Nights as Elizabeth (among others) are her most recent credits. She has 99 acting credits and 58 Self credits to her resume. Anyhow; a crooked nose chef with black hair and a black mustache wearing chef gear and a red sash grabs Linda cell phone and uses the WOODEN MEAT MALLET OF PLOT to smash it; because no cellphones are allowed in class. What a dick? Even more so; his cellphone rings and he answers it as Linda is not amused by this. He chuckles and sarcastically states that it's for Linda. Linda answers the phone and it's Candace who is looking outside her bedroom claiming that the boys have built monster trucks in the backyard. Linda tells her that she has to go because the chef apparently is going to threaten her with the WOODEN MEAT MALLET OF PLOT. What an asshole?! So she hangs up and we see Lawerence cradling Candace through the window into the front seat of the monster truck. Lawerence follows her as Candace wants answers to this outrage and complains that she cannot parallel park. Phineas & Ferb get out on the driver's side and tell her that it's only to give her SUV confidence. Okay; he didn't say the SUV part; but come on! It's a freakin monster truck! SUV are at one step below that. Candace gets into the drivers seat as she complains that she cannot drive in the backyard; so Phineas pulls down a curtain and it reveals a monster truck arena. Complete with crush cars and ramps. Candace slumps down and goes "meap" in the process. And yes folks; there is a character called Meap in this show and one of it's disguises is a producer of redneck jokes. More on that in the rants to come.

So we head to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. (complete with jingle of doom) as we head inside a brick something as Doofen is talking to four grown men in colored suits. One of them is clearly a German scientist with glass eye in the right eye. One has a bald forehead with following brown hair, one is an old man with a white mustache and the other is a black man wearing glasses. So Doofen has an investment to show them as none of them seem amused. The German scientist has a swelled up head for some reason as Doofen is investing in monster trucks in which he called them stupid. HA! So Doofen shows about six "evil" monster trucks that look so goofy that it could only be done by Doofen. I also know this because one of them has a head of Doofenshmirtz in the front hood of the truck. The hands on the sides indicate that Doofenshmirtz likes to go bobsledding. Doofen wants to corner the market and squash the competition so he's created a laser gun that is called the Monster Truck Awayer or something like that. The German scientist asks if it is safe and Doofen gets behind the laser device and zaps the Germaan scientist with it. Doofen claims that this proves that it is safe; although GS suffered from the swelled head syndrome that affects Dewey and some humans Huey zapped in Quack Pack. Doofen thinks the swelling will probably go down as he demonstrates it on the monster truck and zaps it; as it is disappeared from the face of the "earth". Geez; this is more dangerous than that.....Ummmm...Let me get back to you on that one. Doofen proclaims that it sends the truck to another dimension and we see a bedroom with an yellow alien baby with one eye that looks like a Monsters Inc reject sitting down as the monster truck comes in and the alien eats it. Doofen claims that it's time to have a real demonstration with a real monster truck. So he goes over to his next invention and here's a question: Why not just destroy one of the monster trucks you already have? Then when you unwrap the Arcade Game Box with slot machine lever called the Monster-Truck-Locat-Inator; Perry would have to change his tactics since he is on top of the MTLI. Doof is stupid; what a surprise?

However; Doof blows him off and pulls the lever as Perry gets hung upside down inside the glass box by the Chinese trap of doom. HAHA! Now that is a quality sucker move on Doof's part. He then shows the real device which is basically a purple iPad. He does some pushing buttons and discovers on the screen that there is a monster truck rally in Danville which happens to be Phineas's backyard. Also; the street address reads: 2438 Olsen Drive, Janville (Huh?), Tri-State Area. Remember that one for later as everyone gets into the Doofenshmirtz monster truck and the garage door opens (so the area was a garage; I should've guessed) and the Doof Mobile drives out with Doof and the scientists in the front and a tied up Perry in back which is not a smart move. Then again; Doofenshmirtz isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer so there you go as even the scientists question this. Doofen claims that he has to show him everything because he's a dumb, goofy, evil scientist. Or something. So we head to a television monitor with a yellow sign on the bottom which reads Danville Today. Make up your minds people! Is it Danville or Janville? So we have a dark skinned male with a sharp black hairstyle wearing a green suit and a red/black striped tie talking about an important announcement as in comes Isbella wearing her Fireside Troupe outfit which looks like something from the Netherlands with all that cheese colors and red bowtie in the front. Apparently she is local 46231; which means there are at least one million Fireside Troupe girls out there in America. Okay; good to know. She is going to give us the important announcement. And here's what Isabella...

Isabella: (takes a breath, in a deep growling voice of Jeff Marsh) WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY! GIANT MONSTER TRUCK RALLY RIGHT HERE IN DANVILLE! CANDACE THE CRUSHER TAKES ON ALL COMERS! BE THERE, BE THERE, BE THERE! WE'LL GIVE YOU THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!(normal voice, giggles) Thanks, Dink.

Ummmm; ooookkkkkkaaaaayyyyyy. Dink is just messed up as we see various monster truck drivers in an Eat's diner run right out of the diner and into their monster trucks as they drive away. So we head to Phineas & Ferb's monster truck rally as it's Wednesday today. Phineas & Ferb are on headset in the red booth as they tell Candace to drive through the cone obstacle course which there is no way that truck can steer through that tiny space without crashing onto it's side. Candace tries to put it in drive and we get the exact same spot from the flashback in which she goes back and forth. Phineas is more concerned about the deposit on those cones as we do the gentle incline which is almost a 45 degree slope which Candace goes up and then Lawerence is buckling up with a helmet and a pillow on his stomach claiming he has full confidence in her. Sure you do Lawerence; sure you do. Candace starts whining that it's getting steeper as we go 90 degrees as Phineas points out the fact that it gets steeper from there and we discover that this is basically a Sonic The Hedgehog spot which Candace gets to the top; and then we zoom out and notice that the thing is shaped like a penis that does the corkscrew. Okay; enough Private Tuckers jokes already guys! So Phineas tells Candace to do the brake test and despite the monster truck having grinding issues with the brakes; the brakes work fine and she gets down the course and lands perfect on ground level as Lawerence breaks the handle on the ceiling that he was hanging onto. Lawerence praises Candace as she is shocked that she managed to pull this one off. So we head down the street corner as the Doofen Mobile rides around the corner as we get logic break #2 for the episode because if you recall; the tracking device said that the rally was on Olsen Drive. Here; Doofen sezs that it's on Maple Drive. UGH! Anyhow; there are no parking places and Doof wishes he created a Car Away-enator which the German Scientist gets all inspired and likes the idea; which Doof blows off like a jerk.

So we head back to the monster truck rally and inside the Candace Crusher as Lawerence wants Candace to roll and then three monster trucks come in and splash mud on Candace. Sexist twits. The one cheese monster truck stops beside the CC and we see that it's a tough guy with a long chin wearing a black/yellow helmet and a white shirt. He has a brown mustache and red shades on as he asks if this is the CC and Candace claims that it is as the monster truck rider proclaims that he heard pigs could fly; but he's seen everything which makes absolutely no sense at all and Candace even points that out. I discover that this guy is known as Buck Buckerson as he proclaims that he doesn't care because he has a monster truck and he drives away; making sure Lawerence and Candace eat mud again. Lawerence is in pissy Phineas mode as he wants Candace to make him suck their mud so to speak; and it is ON BABEE! Buck Buckerson is voiced by Billy Ray Cyrus and according to IMDB: William "Billy" Ray Cyrus (born August 25, 1961) is an American country music singer, songwriter, actor and philanthropist, who has achieved great success worldwide. Having released twelve studio albums and forty-four singles since 1992, he is best known for his Number One single "Achy Breaky Heart", which became the first single ever to achieve triple Platinum status in Australia. It was also the best-selling single in the same country in 1992. Thanks to the video of this hit, the linedance catapulted into the mainstream, becoming a worldwide craze. Cyrus, a multi-platinum selling recording artist, has scored a total of eight top-ten singles on the Billboard Country Songs chart. His most successful album to date is the debut of Some Gave All, which has been certified 9× Multi-Platinum in the United States and is the longest time spent by a debut artist at Number One on the Billboard 200 (17 consecutive weeks) and most consecutive chart-topping weeks in the SoundScan era.

His acting career started in 1999 with The Love Boat: The Next Wave as Lasso Larry Larsen. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. He has also appeared on Hannah Montana as Robby Ray Stewart opposite Miley Cyrus. Like A Country Song is his most recent credit. He has 21 acting credits, 30 soundtrack credits, 97 Self credits, two production credits (Hannah Montana: The Movie, Surprise Homecoming), and one writing credit (Doc) to his resume. We drive under the mud and up as Candace has a pig sitting in her lap; and hit the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM! She's a truck driving girl indeed as she just go nuts with the driving on the pipes while Phineas & Ferb are singing and Lawerence looks like he wants to vomit. So we get kitchen sinks; The Simpsons rejects couch with the reject Simpsons on it (HA!); two pigs, a flaming wheel and the orange robot T-Rex from Kickasarus Wrecks makes a cameo somehow; despite this being released three years before Kick ever aired. The orange t-rex grabs them and drops them to the other side; while the blue one gets eaten and then we get the stacked monster trucks like Jenga as there are two white ramps and a flaming hoop. Now that's the spirit Phineas! Buck is bringing out his weenie on a stick (IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU SICK FREAKS!) and toasts some on the flaming hoop on the way down as Ferb is playing the guitar like a drum. More singing as both monster trucks try to out duel the other and Candace steals the weenie on a stick and they go to the finish line and cross in a draw. BOO! HISS! Phinea proclaims that since it's a photo finish (which is dumb because all you have to do is go to said photo and it can still be in one of the truck's favor); so we'll decide this by doing a...wait for it....parallel parking move. HAHA! See; make the joke and then pay it off. Buck laughs at Candace as Candace is not happy about this. So the rules of engagment is to parallel park between two trash cans painted yellow. Buck tries to do it and seems to get it right; but even Monster Trucks hate Gedo fashion sense and so the truck bounces off the golden trash cans like a pinball. That is just sad folks.

So Lawerence points out that even professionals can screw up from time to time; so he wants Candace to relax and park this park. So Candace relaxes; and then perfectly parallel parks the monster truck inbetween two trash cans; and everyone pops as Candace is the wiener...oops...I mean, winner of this monster truck "race"; if you can call it as such. So we head back to the Doofen Mobile as Doofen is getting out the MT Banisher (I think it's a better booking name than what Doofen called it; but that's just me.) and then uses the scope to look at the monster trucks driving in the monster truck arena; and then right in the front of the scope is Perry; even though we never see him get himself out of the Chinese trap. Doofen wants to know how and we discover that (a) Mr. Iwata cameoed wearing a SWANK pink shirt and pink suit in the back seat and (b) used a Chinese secret which involves using just scissors. Okay; that made absolutely no sense at all; but I still laughed at it. Doofen even questions this logic as he begs for mercy because Perry twists the dial from a MT Banisher to a Doofen MT Banisher. Doofen admits that he should rethink his dials and gets zapped and disappeared as only Perry is left and he drops onto the street. We see the scientists in the bed with the yellow alien as there is no monster truck (logic break #3); but apparently, the device reversed the swelling in the German scientist's head which is so happy to see. Doofen blows him off and the alien eats all of them; and the alien burps a bubble just as Doofen curses Perry again. The dial stupidity made more sense than the Mr. Iwata appearance; but it's less funny also. So we head back to the CC as Candace and Lawerence hug each other. AW! See; even the new Disney can have heart in a sea of bad comedy routines. Candace is so happy that she forgets to look where she is going and she goes out and drops about seven feet into the mud with a faceplant. Buck helps her up and praises her for being a tough girl as Phineas & Ferb come in and realize that Buck is a monster truck promoter.

So Buck claims that he is going to a monster truck rally in Badgertown; but the arena there sucks. So Phineas offers him his arena because he's done with it since it was only there for Candace to parallel park. Buck is happy and so his monster trucks literally drag the arena out of the backyard and somehow do no damage whatsoever to anything. Logic break #4 for the episode as Linda arrives in a purple car which is clearly Charlene's as she brings in a small silver platter with a dome. She goes toward the backyard as Ferb uses his remote control and the monster truck transforms into a red station wagon; which I assume is Lawerence's car; thus proving that the monster truck was rigged and Ferb is a Transformers fanboy. Linda comes in and she asks Candace why she is covered in mud; in spite of the fact that Phineas, Ferb and Lawerence are also covered in mud. What is so special about Candace that she has to answer the question herself. Then Ferb speaks for more than 10 seconds....

Ferb: Because... she's a tire spinnin', gear grindin', clutch burnin', backfirin', paint tradin', red-linin', overheatin', throttle stompin', truck drivin' girl.

Everyone stares at Ferb and then Candace proclaims that she learned how to parallel park; which Linda states is great. Yeah; that ends the episode at 10:20 approx. Fun episode; but Perry's escape was really contrived and a few logic breaks marred the experience for me. Buck's moves are really cool too and the song was great as well. **** (80%).

The Ballard of Badbeard: We begin this one in the mountains in a forest camp site with a lot of Gedo fashion sense colors as an eagle flies in and we see an old man on a trumpet playing music that sounds like a cat is being strangled. We see a shirt old man in camp scout leader gear doing the trumpet as Phineas & Ferb wake up inside their tent and we discover that it's their grandpa Clyde Flynn. So Phineas & Ferb come out (Ferb I think is wearing a legion hat) as Baljeet and Buford come out as Baljeet complains about what Buford is eating. Buford burps in Baljeet's face and Baljeet is killed supposely. So we see Candace looking as bloated as I am right now wearing a purple robe and slippers; bringing a pink brush and a green towel. We see an old female with black glasses red foamy hair like Marge Simpson wearing a light green shirt with a white skirt with green trim. She also has golden earrings as I believe this is Grandma Betty Jo Flynn. She is voiced by Linda and Clyde is voiced by Barry Bostwick as mentioned in the previous rant. So Candace asks about where she can shower is and Betty gets all sarcastic in Candace's face about rich living and crabcakes and then walks away as Candace blows her off in kind. So we sit at the campfire with scout leader Clyde wearing a ranger hat just to insult me as Buford, Baljeet, Isabella, Phineas & Ferb are having chow. Buford is wolfing it down of course; because he's an insecure bully. So Clyde proclaims that chow time is over and it's time for the nature walk around Badbeard Lake. Phineas asks about it and Clyde goes into a long winded conversation about lakes; which Phineas cuts him off calmly. Clyde explains that Badbeard is a freshwater pirate who plunders people in lakes. What a petty pirate?! Anyhow; we discover as we see Spleen Island which apparently has an inactive volcano on it as Phineas is confused over what booty is which Clyde has to correct. Huh? The senior citizen is smarter than the main event kids? That's unpossible!

So Clyde inks his left glasses with black marker and starts to talk like a stereotypical pirate. Dudes; talking like a pirate is passe. Talking like Don Karnage? MONEY, MONEY, YEAH, YEAH! By the way; there is a ballard (song) to this Badbeard dude as Clyde asks Buford for a concertina. So Buford looks shameful because apparently, he stole Clyde's concertina, or Buford hates playing it. Either way; he brings it out and starts playing polka music while Clyde sings the Ballard Of Badbeard; which is a million times better than the character himself. That is one disadvantage to the modern cartoons of today; even the best ones: The execs care more about getting the song over which is an awesome song, don't get me wrong; rather than getting the character over. Sure; there is a much bigger risk of getting the character over than getting the song over; but the rewards are much more memoriable characters. I realize Teddy Ruxpin did the same thing in the late 1980's; so it's far from a new thing. However; it just seems that getting the song over is more important than getting the character over because if you cannot get the character over, then the song is meaningless anyway and just another song. And of course; they didn't even care about giving us a montage because Clyde stops the song short and even Phineas looks disappointed. Again; what was the point of singing the song if you are not trying to get the character over first? Clyde admits that it's not much of a song and tells everyone to meet him at the trailhead in five minutes. Clyde sounds like the pirate voice from the opening song of Spongebob Squarepants which has to be the most silliest decision Barry had ever made in his career. So we get the "That's the spirit" catchphrase again before leaving as Baljeet looks inside his overalls and claims that his underwear is missing as Buford points to a flagpole and apparently; Baljeet wears orange/yellow spotted underwear. That was awkward on so many levels. So we see everyone (including Perry) walking along the trail as a bear has squashed some animal in the tree. Don't care as Clyde tells them to stick to the trails and don't touch the orange moss on the Joom-Joom tree.

Which by the way is where Candace is standing which is between two Joom-Joom trees with orange moss. So everyone but Candace walks away as Candace calls this boring and gets on her cellphone. She calls Stacey as Clyde is going all 1984 on us; for no reason. And to no one's shock; Candace touches the orange moss like an idiot while complaining about reception as Clyde tells them that the slightest touch will absorb chemcials through the skin and cause hallucinations. So that explains how Mike Adams and his irk act the way they do then! Candace panics as she backs up and touches the other tree with her back and maybe her ass; then screams and runs away to the northeast. Yeah; whatever. So Clyde points out Spleen Island as he has an out of nowhere banjo and talks about the bones of Badbeard being inside Davey Jones' locker. I don't think I need to tell you how counter productive it is to have a locker under the sea. There are a bunch of steps leading down the mountain; and then we hit the TEDDY RUXPIN SONG OF DOOM just to give the storyline the giant middle finger. This pissed me off because; Clyde claimed that it wasn't much of a song. And now they are singing in full. Whatever. Betty asks where Candace is which actually should have been a cut to Candace running; but it's actually a forest shot of Perry walking around. So Perry becomes Agent P and then Perry uses the remote control. However; a big bald eagle kidnaps Perry and drops him in his nest as the remote control is dropped. So we discover that one of the eggs hatch to reveal a small computer screen showing Major Monogram again. Monogram apologizes for Agent E which is the eagle by the way; which indicates that all the agent names are based on the animal. That'a perfectly acceptable as a pun. Monogram also apologizes for remodeling the base and apparently Monogram has a wife who likes to do remodeling Mexican style. Now there's an angle this show should do STAT!

Anyway; Agent E is feeding the screen worms which offends Monogram as Monogram explains that Doofenshmirtz is spotted on Spleen Island and moving boxes into the cave of the old sea hag. And once again; this seems like he's doing it for no good reason. Couldn't you just say that we believe that he has moved his lair in order to steal Badbeard's treasure? Then at least there is a payoff to this silliness. Anyhow; Perry must foil Doofen again as Candace is using her hands as binoculars claiming that she just saw Perry talking to an egg with a bald eagle and that they are both secret agents. This makes no sense as an angle because they are already in secret agent gear. Shouldn't Candace see Perry as a secret agent BEFORE he puts on the hat. That makes more sense than this. Personally; having Candace think Clyde is Badbeard and trying to save the kids from him is much more entertaining; but BS&P won't like it since it involves beating up a senior citizen. So then we discover that Candace is stuck in a tree having psychdelic episodes and then falls down the tree bouncing off every branch of the tree before she lands in the bushes with a bruised right eye. She is turning into Millie Vanderbucks; only Candace is in every episode doing this! So Candace notices Agent E flying Agent P down to ground level and Perry runs on the docks and there is a conveniently placed jet ski. Yeah; we are really getting silly here. So Agent P rides the jet ski with rope flying as Candace is confused and she gets more psychdelic episodes as we sees a talking zebra in a rocking chair. At least this makes sense compared to most of this angle. The talking zebra is voiced by Jeff Bennett again. Jeepers Puck; Ordeon is such a bastard! So the lasso attaches to Candace's leg and she goes flying stage right. So we head to the lake as Isabella, Phineas & Ferb are in the rowboat; and I wouldn't be remiss if I told you that the boat is labelled "Grandpa Darby" for no reason that I can think of. So Baljeet and Buford are sword fighting with sticks which is an achivement for Baljeet in general. Great exchange as Buford calls him a scurvy dog and Baljeet has no clue what the disease is. HAHA!

So Clyde walks in and Phineas has an idea: become real pirates. I'm sorry Phineas; but pirates are so overplayed. Unless they are air/sky pirates; we NEED MORE OF THEM! (Candace: MOM! Gregory Weagle is making more TaleSpin demands again. Linda: That's lovely dear. Candace: Dammit!) Clyde wants them to knock themselves out; and this should have been paid off with Baljeet knocking out Buford with the stick while Buford was distracted; but all we got was Baljeet whacking Buford in the ass. Ah; close enough to a payoff in this show though. So Clyde goes on and on about wanting to find the treasure; but couldn't. And half of his life is a blur because he is a WASP. So Clyde gives them a treasure map from under his ranger map; and then warns them that the treasure of Badbeard has a curse on it. See; if they touch the treasure, they will have ugly beards for the rest of their days. See; make the joke and then pay it off. Phineas and Buford seem to enjoy this; Baljeet doesn't which is weird. I thought he wanted to be a man. Never mind as Clyde leaves to find Betty Jo and claims that he wishes he had a map for that. Oh lay off Clyde! Betty Jo at least gives a damn about Candace; how little that is actually. So we see Candace shrieking in her mushroom induced world while bouncing off the water as she has lost her shoes in the process. Perry rides the jet ski towards the cave which has suddenly appeared on the island. Huh. So we head back to the lake side as Phineas puts the treasure map on a steel tripod as we see the entire map is to sail from Point Plots to through the Stones of Gall and then to the Cove of Incontinence which is a leaky penis joke. Nice try Phineas; at least this fart joke sounds witty. And then they go through the dark tunnel of doom to where X marks the spot. Phineas calls this easy-pesy and asks for ideas from Ferb on building a first class pirate ship. So Ferb basically brings out the blueprints and shows a AAA pirate ship. Never underestimate the ability of Ferb to think big in these situations which causes the other kids to be shocked and appalled. Except for Phineas of course; he thinks it's impressive.

So we head inside the cave and apparently; the rope snapped because we see Candace on a rock covered in green moss looking at Perry who is finally docked and running away in slow motion. That was poopy. Candace of course is just dellusional at this point as Perry opens the steel door and heads inside the cave which is filled with wooden boxes and some wires hanging. We then hear Doofen asking if this is the television cable company. Ummm; no Doofen, it's the Jenovh Witness Protection Program. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Goodbye internet career for that one; I'm almost certain of it. So Doofen comes in as Perry gets grabbed by a tentacle like arm as Doofen is not amused by the cable company not giving him the evil science channel. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT~?! (Hurricane pose ensues) So Doofen notices that it is Perry and he is pissed off. See; he legally moved in to this cave and it was cheap too since it is supposed to be haunted by an old sea hag. Best line I have heard from a heel ever: Just because I am evil; doesn't mean that I always do evil things. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Take that; babyfaces of the world! I'm shocked Don Karnage didn't steal that one first! Perry does the Gruffi pose because he thinks Doofenshmirtz is not a human being and thus has no creditability when it comes to that statement. Oh sod off Perry! You just cannot wrap your head around the fact that you are trepassing on Doofenshmirtz's property for no reason whatsoever. Authority; it sucks sometimes. So Doofenshmirtz decides that Perry cannot handle the truth so he'll get EVIL~! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay; that is out of my system, so we cut to the lake as the pirate ship Ferb had on the blueprints is done in record time. It also has the smallest bottom bowels that I have ever seen in my entire life. That boat should be unsailable; but this is Ferb we are talking about, so it does. Ferb is a G rated Peter Griffin now. And now we finally play the full version of that damn song that is supposed to be not much of a damn song. Although at this point; I betcha Phineas is the one who wrote this version of it. So I'm done with this.

I then discover that everyone is dressed like pirates; and Phineas almost looks like Don Karnage; but should lose the damn hat anyway. I see kids can still weld actual swords at this point; which is a win. We also discover that Gretchen and a black female girl have also decided to join in out of nowhere for no good reason. I hate these kinds of logic break. This is like watching a Jake & The Neverland pirates episode as these two get seasick. I discover that she is indeed a Fireside Scout Member; who is named Holly and Holly is voiced by Cymphonique Miller and she has the following credits: Just Jordan (Karla) and Scarecrow Joe (Molly) as her debut in 2007. This is followed by: Internet Dating (Kid 1), Opposite Day (Kid Judge Foggerty), The Troop (Shilah Hamner), True Jackson, VP (Bernie), Big Time Rush (Kat), How To Rock (Kacey Simon) and Bratz Presents: Passion For Fashion With Brianna Gage. Phineas & Ferb is her DTVA debut and only appearance. The Dempsey Sisters as Tina Dempsey is her most recent credit. She appeared as herself recently on the BET Awards 2013, The Mo'Nique Show and Nickelodeon's Worldwide Day Of Play: Get Your Game On. That's it. Not calling this as apparently Baljeet gets wedgied; Holly and Gretchen get green faces, the skull and crossbones sing and I'm guessing that this is the one uncredited voice provided by Enn Reitel and according to Wikipedia (DANGER! DANGER!): In 1982, Reitel starred in the Further Adventures of Lucky Jim, a BBC2 sitcom written by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais. Reitel played Jim Dixon, based on the character created by Kingsley Amis. He appeared on stage in Me And My Girl at the Adelphi Theatre in 1986. On television he worked as an impressionist on the satirical puppet show Spitting Image and starred in the ITV sitcom Mog as a burglar who spent his days in a psychiatric hospital, pretending to be insane. He played the lead role in the UK TV comedy series The Optimist which ran from 1983 for two series.

The programme was almost entirely silent. In each episode 'The Optimist' wandered through life doing his best to look on the bright side. He was usually thwarted in his endeavours by the people he encountered. He also appeared in the first series of the UK comedy show Whose Line Is It Anyway?. In 2001 he appeared in a short film called "Coconuts" with Michael Palin, in which the two of them did a demonstration on how coconuts can be used in place of horses.[1] This film can be seen on the second disk of the collector's edition of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He played the lead role in the 2007 film Trust Me, a comedy about a pair of con men. Reitel was the first choice to play Del Boy Trotter in Only Fools and Horses, but was busy with other projects (the role ultimately went to David Jason).[2][3] He also played two roles in different episodes of long-running sitcom One Foot in the Grave. In the first Christmas special, he played "Mr. Starkey", a down and out who holds Victor Meldrew and his neighbour's father at gunpoint to wait for Armageddon on Christmas Day. In the second episode of series 3, "Dreamland", he played a tramp who took a fancy to Victor's shoes, but drew the line at his Noel Edmonds-esque sweater. Reitel does voice overs for The X Factor. He played the Town Crier and The Maggot in Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and played Auric Goldfinger in the 2004 videogame GoldenEye: Rogue Agent. His voice is also heard on Lemon Jelly's single "Nice Weather For Ducks". Recently, he narrated the in-game promo spot for the Praying Mantis PMC in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. He also does Lorenzo Belli's voice from Capcom's survival horror game Haunting Ground. He was also the voice of Billy the ventriloquist dummy in James Wan's movie Dead Silence.

He also provided voice performance for the audiobook of the sixth book in Eoin Colfer's Artemis Fowl series, The Time Paradox. Reitel also provided the voice for Delvin Mallory in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, and the Wizard Zabodon in The Big Knights. He started his career as a policeman in General Hospital in 1976. Phineas & Ferb is his DTVA debut and only appearance. Chicanery (Wilson Silcox) and Postman Pat: The Movie (PC Selby/Rev. Timms) are his most recent credits. He has 108 acting credits, five Self credit and two writing credits (Pallas, The Optimist) to his resume. So we see Candace having her acid trip stuff again and now her hair is fried as well. So this only proves to be a segueway to the kids landing and using the rowbow to row to the shoreline; without any buildup whatsoever. Damn; if only this got 22 minutes because I would love to see how Phineas got through the Stones of Gall. That's a main event anywhere in the cartoon world. So they walk through to the cave which has a waterfall and a skull and crossbones engraved on the cave side. So yes; they made it to the dark tunnel of doom. We head inside the cave as Isabella (in a SWANK pirate's captain outfit of her own) asks if they are going the right way. Phineas is certain of it because Ferb has the map and it flies out of his hands and goes down some bottomless pit. I would pay good money to see Swiper The Fox throw The Map down a bottomless pit; just to see if Dora can find her way to the destination without it. Phineas thinks this is all straight forward now as we see a bridge. Buford isn't so sure and orders Phineas to test the bridge. Phineas gets on the bridge and claims that it is safe; and then everyone gets on it at once before Phineas can say "not all at once". The bridge snaps and they go flying right into another cave (with the skull on top) and land in a lake with a giant orange iguana. At least; that's what it looks like. The kids panic and run stage right as they cross a gorge easily which is infested with giant hydra snakes.

Great spot: Isabella crosses and then stops and then blows off Buford. Why? Because we zoom out to see that Buford was using sock puppets of those hydras. That is so lame; even I was laughing at it. Buford grumbles before leaving as we continue walking in the cave as Baljeet talks about soiling himself if he had any underpants. Baljeet: Your overalls is like a studier version of your underpants. Okay? So Isabella is worried as they go through the circular part of the cave as Buford asks if there is no treasure. Baljeet then proclaims that the true treasure is friendship and the spirit of adventure. In the immortal words of Kit Cloudkicker as paraphrased in The Golden Sprocket of Friendship: Nice try; kiddo! Phineas then points and there is a giant door with a red X on it because the treasure is behind it. HAHA! So they open the door and we head slowly inside as the gang notices the CHEST OF DEMONS on up of a lot of skulls. They walk to the chest as someone asks who dares to open the chest. Phineas volunteers which Isabella points out that he's risking bad beards forever and he has no chin to boot. Wait; Buford doesn't like bad beards now? After acting like he is gleeful to wear one? Baka BAKKKKKKAAAAA! So Phineas opens the chest and he grows a decent black beard; and then we discover that it's a treasure chest filled with fake bad beards. Yeah; that is the treasure folks and they are cursed. With fake beards. Let return to Perry being over a trapdoor as we are channeling Kim Possible and Mr. Fat all at once from Doofen. Sigh. I was hoping Doofenshmirtz would not stoop to this low; but then I should count my blessing. Yeap; it's dreaded "dangle the babyface over a crocodile pit" spot. And both crocodiles are named Susan, for no reason. So Susan and Susan pop up and snap at Perry for a bit. Then Candace and she looks like a sea hag; which makes Doofen panic like mad that he lands right on the crocodiles; or Candace bumped Doof into their mouths which Doofen is holding onto. Either way; Perry manages to be released from the tentacle claw as Candace is confusing Doofen with the drug store. What a shock?!

So Candace thinks that there is a vending machine close by; but it's really a panel containing a self-destruct button. Oh Doof; you are such a kidding dumbass; we love you for being so stupid. Perry pleas for Candace not to push it (why?); but Candace blows him off and pushes the button because she wants beef jerky STAT! The voice for the self-destruct sequence is on and Doof is not happy that they found the one thing that could defeat him. Candace is dragged out of the cave by Perry as Doofen is still playing with the crocodiles' mouth and curses Perry again as usual. So we cut back to the CHEST OF DEMONS as we see the kids wearing bad beards. Buford is wearing an orange goatee, Isabella is wearing a white beard with mustache, Baljeet is yellow with three udders like a cow; while Ferb's looks like it was made from a kilt. Then we hear rumbling and rocks coming down as Phineas wants them to carry as many beards as they can and get the hell out of here. So we see them escaping while stepping on staglimates in perfect sequence; which defies the laws of physics, but still looks cool. And Buford climbs onto the iguana's back of course on the way out. So somehow; the rowboat is over a cliff; despite the fact that the exit was build as if it has steps. Bad logic break there guys! So they get on the rowboat and row towards their pirate ship and then we cut to Candace and Perry running as they jump into the water which cleans off Candace's moss on her body. Candace is having the time of her life as they go down the waterfall; and gets grabbed by Agent E. Agent E flies towards the pirate ship and plops Candace and Perry onto the eagle's nest. Phineas is so happy to get their booty and then is about to ask where Perry is and we see Perry as an animal on the ground with Candace asking what happened to his hat. Phineas ignores it as Ferb gets his contracted line in as they call it the best story ever told of Badbeard. That ain't saying much Phineas! However; it was entertaining to see in segueway to Clyde at the campfire wearing a purple beard and mustache. That was funny!

So we head to one of the tents as Betty Jo (you thought they forgot her didn't ya?) is inside with her beard on as Candace is in a sleeping bag wearing a brown beard while Perry is wearing a red one which Perry hisses at. Candace is relieved that Perry is not a secret agent and promises to stay away from orange moss. Betty then tells us that apparently; it's not the orange moss that she needs to watch out for, it's the blue moss. Which so happens to be on Candace's hand. Candace panics and has the rainbow of drugs into her head and it ends with a zoom out shot of the talking zebra in a rocking chair proclaiming that she is now Kevin. Wait; so the talking zebra at the dock was Betty Jo all this time. OH SNAP! That ends the episode at 10:40 approx because the ED is basically repeat footage of the ballard of Badbeard song on the pirate ship. The only difference is Buford sezs "Bad Beards Forever, Dude". In other words; half of the 2013 World Series Boston Red Sox team in a nutshell. This was merely okay compared to the earlier ones because the pirate theme is so overplayed at this point and the bad beards angle was cute as a one off joke. And can we please have Perry go on a mission that actually have Doofenshmirtz doing evil instead of Doofen doing it after the fact? *** (60%).


THE REVIEW LINE

Well; we have a mixed bag of shorts here. I'm going to say that the Ballard of Badbeard was a disappointment because they blew the mushroom drug trip angle with Candace the moment Candace saw Agent P with his hat already on instead of seeing Perry the animal and thinking that his hat is on him and thus a secret agent. Most of goodness of this episode came from the song and several funny moments with Buford and Baljeet (and to a lesser extent with Isabella); but the whole pirate thing is old and stale now; and having the twist of being cursed with fake bad beards is simply not going to cut it anymore. Although Ferb's beard was over the top silly. Doofen was fine and hopefully; the writers will start making sure Perry is foiling evil plans instead of foiling evil plans AFTER the fact that the guy isn't doing evil. Doof's line was priceless and should be repeated by every good new heel from here on out. It's A Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World was a lot better because they decided to make Candace into the angle of parallel parking and the monster truck rally was pretty impressive as I did like many of the spots; although the corkscrew phillac symbol was as usual, silly. At least Doof's plan was remotely evil this time, in a sort of corporate way. Loved the Chinese Mr. Iwata moment even if the escape by Perry made absolutely no sense at all. Buck was good, Candace got her redeeming moment for a change and Lawerence got to supervise the event as well. Although if I'm Linda, I should ask for my money back on those cooking classes. That chef is a hypocrite and an asshole on top of it. Overall; a mixed bag with some good moments, some silly moments and a disappointing pirate angle that was only meant to get the song over rather than the angle. So; next weekend, we finish the first DVD set with Greece Lightning/ Leave The Busting To Us and then Unfair Science Fair! The original and the REDUX~ version. Oh yeah! So....

Thumbs up for It's A Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World and thumbs in the middle for The Ballard Of Badbeard and I'll see you all next time.

 

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